The Development Of Self-Discipline In Children The Young Child is continually withheld from many of his desires by physical limitations. We use baby gates, fences, locks on doors and cabinets (restricted places ), cribs, playpens, leashes, as well as brief commands ("NO!" "yes !"). We carefully watch the actual young child; monitoring what he or she sees, where he goes, and with whom he affiliates. These barriers are mainly for the purpose of protecting the child through himself - from their own desire to seek his own may prior to an age when he has knowledge, self-discipline, anxiety when the Lord, or help from the Holy Spirit to resist that which is harmful to him. The School-Age Child continues to be in bondage under the aspects of the world. Gal. 4:3 Foolishness is bound down the middle of a child. Prov. Twenty two :15a Having foolishness in the heart, he is likely to act the part of a fool - a fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself. Prov. 18:2 he or she constantly desires to venture into the "department store" of the flesh. NOthing is more dangerous than allowing a child to "discover himself " at this age. The heart is deceitful above all points, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Jer. Seventeen :9 Being at the beginning of their "formal training" in self-discipline, he is relatively helpless at controlling his own desires; and also the fleshly nature is thought to be a fascinating friend rather than seen to contain no great thing. Rom. 7:eighteen As a parent, you must protect him from his own worst enemy - his skin, and two other predatory opponents -- the world and the demon. Childhood is the time to train your son or daughter in preparation for a life of self-denial (Mt. 16:24). As parents, you must become an outer boundary that restricts the actual fleshly nature of the child until the time that he has built inner boundaries and has inner help from the Lord. The outside obstacles must remain well beyond the crib-stage; the barriers now becoming more directed at the speech and actions (which arise from the thoughts). Growing up gets older, curiosity about the outer world and his body's desires increases, and the pull from the inner fleshly nature gets to be more demanding. There is every indication in the Bible which God expects total mental (2 Cor. 10:five ) and physical (1 Cor. 9:27a) self-discipline; the type of discipline that leads one to present his body as a living sacrifice (Rom. 12:one ) and to take a determined stand for Jesus Christ (as did Daniel, Jeremiah, Nehemiah, Moses, Paul, Christian martyrs (Heb. 11:32-38), etc.). The traditional school setting offers some advantages, although in many Christian schools the disadvantages (peer influence, poor self-discipline, poor spiritual environment, and so on.) outweigh the advantages. The advantages are those that greatly help to construct mental and physical selfdiscipline, and should end up being seriously considered by homeschool parents. Self-discipline in a school is learned through: 1. The necessity of planning ahead to deliver books, homework, long-term assignments, etc. To school complete as well as on time. 2. The delay of the physical gratification/needs associated with walking about, bathroom split, water, etc. 3. The actual delay of the physical satisfaction of eating (only from lunch).
4. The refusal of the desire to speak so as to concentrate on work. 5. The actual denial of the desire to speak so as to help others function. 6. The delay from the desire to speak to cooperate during group work. 7. Projects totally dictated by the instructor. 8. The denial associated with comfort to one's body (sitting up on hard chairs). 9. A clean work environment (versus. Clutter, toys available, etc.). 10. A day scheduled in to definite, fixed time slots with limited time in between classes. The Teenage Years Rules - the to the outside barriers to speech and behavior, should, by the adolescent years, have become a schoolmaster to bring [your child] on to Christ (Gal. 3:twenty-four ); not only in the sense of Salvation secured, but visiting Jesus Christ for help with self-discipline. Correction from his parents has, by this time, taught him that he is a sinner in need of Jesus Christ to save him from eternal passing away in Hell. Prov. Twenty three :13,14 Later in the teenage years, he has realized that outward control (nevertheless some barriers and self-discipline, but much more guidance) combined with his own emerging self-discipline nevertheless fails to keep his flesh under control. He must eventually notice that by himself he can't "hang on" and do right - especially in regard in order to emotions and sexual desires. He is coming to the knowledge of for I know that within me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for in order to will is present with me; but wait, how to perform that which is good i find not. Romans 7 :18 Trust in his parents to help "keep" him controlled within speech, thoughts, and measures must now be directed toward one that is able to help from within his heart. If, having achieved this during the teenage many years, he can now say i will do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phil. 4:13 For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy. Psalms 61:three The LORD is my personal strength and my protect ; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped : therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him. Psalms 28:7 As he once trusted in his parents, an adolescent should now place his trust in the Lord. Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy god : I will strengthen thee; yes, I will help thee; yes,I will uphold thee using the right hand of my personal righteousness. Isaiah 41:10 Training in Self-Discipline Your child "trusts in [his parents] with all of [his] heart; and [must not] lean not unto [his] own understanding." Prov. 3:5 As a mother or father, you are his guide, his protector (from the world, their flesh, and the devil), and his external barrier to that that he desires to do that would develop poor habits as well as, consequently, poor character. Unlearned and not foreseeing the future, a child generally lives for today as a slave to his flesh. Parents must constantly be alert for possibilities to direct the mind toward a structured, Biblically-based, inner control of thoughts, speech, and actions. Outward Discipline to Establish Inner Thoughts 1. Protect your child from a knowledge of sin. I maybe have you wise unto that which is good, and simple concerning evil. Romans 16:19 2. Protect your child from excessive thoughts about or even interest in the things of this globe. And truly, if they had been mindful of that country through whence they came out, they may have had
opportunity to have returned. Hebrews 11:15 Keep thy heart with all diligence ; for out of it are the issues of life. Prov. 4 :23 "Keeping" a child's heart is the parents' responsibility ! 3. Reconstruct verbalized ideas when they reflect wishes of the flesh. For as he thinketh in his heart, same with he. Prov. Twenty three :7 4. Indoctrinate in the Scriptural basis and practical application of self-discipline. Deut. 6:six,7 Is. 30:20,21 5. Point out examples leading to success as well as failure - from the holy bible and from life. Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends around the globe are come. 1 Cor. 10:11 1 nobleman 1:5,6 judges 14:3 Mental Self-Discipline 1. Expect mental effort - considering, reasoning; and memorization associated with verses, facts from topics, poems, songs, etc. Your child's education should always have a way of measuring difficulty. Fun in training has its place, but persistent work should be the main exercise. Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 2 Timothy 2:3 Good education, by necessity, will involve turmoil with the fleshly nature of the child. 2. Train your son or daughter to be subservient to another's will, while at the same time instruction him to be cautious about selecting people to follow (strangers, and so on.). Obey them that have the rule over you, as well as submit yourselves. Heb. 13:17a Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8 3. Train your child to have a pleasant attitude in all things. Work as diligently on attitude as you do on the training of bodily discipline. Then this Daniel was preferred above the actual presidents and princes, because an excellent spirit was in him. Dan 6:3a And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man. (He was 12 at that time.) Luke 2:52 Physical Self-Discipline 1. Erect firm, consistent obstacles to unwanted actions. NEed desired actions when informed the first time! It is poor instruction to allow your child the "enjoyable sin" of delayed obedience (calling several times, counting to ten, etc.). Ep. 6:2 2. Impose discipline for repetitive infractions and encouragement for achievement (without inflating self-esteem). Ec. 8:11 3. Indoctrinate within the Biblical basis for bodily self-discipline and teach the actual practical application of physical self-discipline. 1 Cor.9:27 The Urgent Task The time is actually short, and the times are evil! Ep. 5 :16 You have a brief chance (which is sharply reduced in the arrival of the teenage years ) to instill the mental "operating system" that will guide your son or daughter for a lifetime. There is no time to "appreciate " the antics of a child with little selfdiscipline. Should you laugh and think that junior's undisciplined habits are "cute," a person and he will pay a expensive price - a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. Prov. 29:15 a child is not an adult, nor may he be expected to have the self-discipline of an adult, but childhood is the time to train the future grownup. View all training as preparation for future service for the Lord. Train a
child to become a useful servant from the Lord- strong in faith and in character! This is the parents' responsibility, and is not to be delegated to the church or a religious school. Homeschool parents possess a great advantage in character creating, but many, due to weariness or even perceived inability, are ignoring character building while concentrating on child-centered academics. It is going to be difficult to place a barrier around your child's fleshly character. Each child will be different; many will put up more of a "fight " in defense of fleshly desires. Those who do are, perhaps, being prepared for any more difficult life of service for that Lord. Do not fail these types of children in their preparation by utilizing excuses (hyperactivity, physical handicap, middle child, etc.). A constant example must be arranged by the "trainers." While you might desire to let down your guard as well as indulge in poor character, remember that you must be able to say be ye followers of me, even as I also am associated with Christ. 1 Cor. 11 :1 Training children in self-discipline takes much repetition training and consistency in modification and discipline. Train up a child in the way he is going : and when he is old, he'll not depart from it. Prov. 22:6 the rewards of careful attendance to character building are great ! The "yield" is the peaceable fruit of righteousness! Heb. 12:11 it is possible to produce a delightful teenager! General Goals 1. To build a good inner restraint against the desires of the flesh - by giving consistent outer restraints and expecting habitual conformity. But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection. 1 Cor. 9:27a 2. To instill a fear of the actual Lord (which greatly reinforces inner restraint); and to train to obey as viewing him who is invisible. Heb. 11:27b Come, ye children, hearken unto me : I will teach you the fear of the LORD. Ps. 34:eleven The fear of the LORD may be the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Prov. 1:7 3. To encourage a total trust in the Lord for strength and direction (recognizing that help with restraint is necessary). Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 to LORD, I know that the clear way of man is not in themself : it is not in man which walketh to direct their steps. Jer. 10:23 Specific Goals Self-Discipline is needed: 1. To be accountable for the use of time. One Peter 4:2 2. To understand to wait to speak. James 1 :19 3. To speak when shyness or fear inhibits. One Thes. 2:4 4. To understand to weigh thoughts very carefully before speaking. Ps. Thirty four :13 Prov. 13:3 ; 21:23 5. To be able to perform unpleasant tasks without distress. 2 Tim. 2:3 6. To be able to use the mind to memorize required material. Prov. 10:14 Ps. 119:11 7. To be able to endure hard trials. James 1:two,3 8. To learn to perform unpleasant habits. 9. To have bodily self-restraint. 1 Cor. 9 :27
10. To keep thyself pure. 1 Tim. 2:22 Phil 4:8 11. To maintain rule over his own nature (emotions). Prov. 25:28 12. To complete a project through inception to completion. Ec. 10:18 13. To refuse the lust of the flesh (unavailable/wrong material or bodily desires). Luke 9:23 14. To delay legitimate self-gratification; to become content with withheld desires. Phil. 4:11,12 15 to utilize no expectation of immediate reward. Gal. 6:9 16. To joyfully submit to an additional rather than to seek one's personal will. Ps. 40:8 17. To eat what is set prior to him with contentment. Phil. 4:11 18. To rely upon the LORD with all thine coronary heart ; and lean not on to thine own understanding. Prov. 3:5 19. To deny feelings and choose to do what's right. 1 Kings 18 :21 20. To give up a liberty so as not to offend another person. One Cor.8:13 21. To build up mental discipline (Disciplined thoughts Disciplined body). Two Cor. 10:5 22. To keep in work despite individual physical rebellion. Lam. Three :27 23. To be a servant rather than a master. Mt. 23:11 24. To be accountable for one's personal name and family name (testimony). Prov. 22:1 26. To receive correction and discipline with a good attitude. Prov. 3 :11; 15:10 27. To cooperate with the needs of others - to concede his needs for the benefit of a group. Ps. 133:1 28. To maintain a Godly worth system that directs daily decisions. Gen. 24:33 Col. 3:2 29. To submit to an unpleasant master. One Peter 2:18 30. To develop a mental alertness. One Peter 5:8 31. In order to refuse negative peer pressure. Ex. 23:2 Daily Plan Consistent Example Be ye followers of me, even as I also 'm of Christ. 1 Cor. 11:1 Consistent Teaching The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, full of Israel; To know wisdom and instruction; to see the words of understanding; to receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity; To give subtilty to the simple, to the young man understanding and discretion. Prov. One :1-4 Consistent Training and Maintenance Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he's old, he will not depart from it. Prov. Twenty two :6 Because sentence against an evil work is not really executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is actually fully set in them to do evil. Ec. 8:eleven Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Prov. 23:13 Wherefore I will not be negligent to put you always in remembrance of those things, though ye understand them, and be established in our truth. Yea, I think it meet, as long as I am in this tabernacle, to stir you up by putting you within remembrance. 2 Peter one :12,13 Implementing Goals For each goal that you desire to be satisfied in your child, make a particular, long-range plan to see your objective accomplished. Follow the design of: EXAMPLE --TEACHING--TRAINING.
SAMPLE: Goal #1: self discipline is needed to be accountable for using time. Example: Be alert to time in your own life. Show a concern for your own use of time. Be on time to chapel, appointments, class, etc. Don't waste time! Ep. 5:16 Teaching: Expect household jobs to become done without stopping to play or to talk to others. Anticipate schoolwork to be done without wasting time (playing with pencils, walking around, talking, daydreaming, etc.) As your children get older (of sufficient age to easily tell the time as well as own a watch), expect them to be ready for church on time (without being told), get up on time (by using an alarm clock), plan ahead to be prepared for a specific bedtime, set the actual table prior to an appointed time, be in from outside perform at a certain time, etc. Teach your child the value of time how to use it sensibly, how to plan ahead, and how to work to meet deadlines and schedules (long and short-range). Have him memorize verses having to do with time, laziness, slothfulness, sluggishness, disloyality, etc. (Prov. 24:38-30-34; 18:9; 26:fourteen ) Training: Discipline in some way when a responsibility to a certain time is avoided, ignored, or forgotten. Let your son or daughter know that excuses such as "i forgot" will not be accepted! selfdiscipline for wasted time whenever he is expected to be working (set time aside from free/recess time, etc.) Maintaining Boundaries 1. Physical discipline, when necessary. He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he or she that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Prov. 13 :24 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall generate it far from him. Prov. 22:15 2. Withdrawing a normal privilege-a withdrawn benefit due to a failure in the obligation to do that which was taught. When self-discipline fails, the old character will be reinforced/encouraged-because the pleasures of sin were permitted without any unpleasant consequences. In the event that unpleasant consequences are not arranged by parents now, the actual unpleasant consequences will come once the child becomes an adult. (Ec. 8:11) 3. Natural consequences - those regrettable things that happen as a result of disobedience (perhaps disobedience that is not instantly discovered by a parent). RElated to God, we would also refer to this as "learning hard way-by experience." Being assured of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. Phil. 1:6 for it is God which worketh in you both to may and to do of their good pleasure. Phil. Two :13 Jeremiah 29