It came and went so fast, you'd think Bill Belicheck was leading the way in a Jets hoodie. I'm talking about the fantasy football draft. A lot of us play fantasy football, and the majority of the people who play it, are extremely into it. I play it every year. I'm the guy with three leagues and I believe in my own cyber philosophy/strategy so much, I will redraft the same player in multiple leagues and go all or nothing. I'm the guy who convinces the commissioner to take out the “head coach” position by letting him know that no one gets amped up to draft Romeo Crennel in the 16th round. I've played fantasy football for three years straight now, but this year was different; this year I have a girlfriend. And for those of you with girlfriends or wives, you've either explained it to your partners or you've neglected to reveal your passion. Let me tell you, it puts things in perspective in a hurry. In most known cases, the revelation of the actual draft comes at a bad time. Normally, our women plan events during the exact same time as the draft. When this problem occurs, you immediately find yourself explaining the entirety of fantasy football; normally using innocent statements such as, “it's a guy's night in,” when you're thinking to yourself, “This will be the most fun I'll have at the kitchen table in years. It has also now landed itself a major conflict in schedules which will naturally make her bitter. The scene from “Knocked Up” is an accurate exaggeration of how this conversation will unfold at breakfast. Its explanation goes something like this: Me: “Well you get together with your friends or stay at home on your computer and pick from an assortment of NFL players. However they perform in real life, it reflects accordingly to your fantasy football teams.” Girlfriend: “So you just pick people, and that's it? You just pick these football players and then watch NFL games and it all just happens?” Me: “Well you make changes throughout the season to your team. Getting rid of bad players and finding good ones.” Girlfriend: “So, it's like a video-game hobby?” Me: “Throw in the word “seasonal,” and I think you've got it.” The conversation stalled, which was my exact plan, but then shortly after, I felt the need to lay it down for her. After all, she's a good listener. I told her I love everything about it. I love mock drafting, where we pretend to play the game before we actually play it (always a tough first sell). I study for these like final exams and the sad reality is that I get high on my squad before I even draft them. It's the happiest check you mail all year. A calculated lottery. Yes, the team we draft is not the team we end the season with. In 14 weeks, I'll be standing 2 feet from the TV, rooting for mediocre players to produce Pro-Bowl numbers. (If the conversation is going well, this is where you can throw out the idea of getting NFL Redzone, a TV program dedicated to fantasy football – NOTE* you probably only have one shot at this). If the conversation isn't going well, I would immediately start editing your pre-draft rankings so you
don't get Millen'd by auto-pick, and end up 0-16. Good luck in your draft, good luck in your season and best of luck trying to explain them.