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111 ISSUE 18 WEEK 10

Bond University's Weekly Student Publication

Scope

FREE


CONTENTS Editor’s Report If Scope had a face, it would be a serious one this week. It is the face of your mom after you’ve done something really bad. By some freakish coincidence, most of our articles are intellectual and informative. This is a refreshing change from the abundance of light and humorous articles in the past. To start things off, we have two articles related to the recent Japanese earthquakes by Shintaro Koido and Alex Myers. These two articles touch on different, yet equally important, aspects of the devastating disaster. Liam Auer’s article entitled, ‘Greatest economic challenge of our generation,’ is a heavy yet important read, one that touches on the global climate change and the emissions trading scheme. Shannan Smith is back to tell us the importance of ‘Little acts of kindness’. In a world that has gone to the shits, a little reminder of human kindness from time to time is certainly what we need. You can also read about Bond’s first Greatest athlete, the usual reviews (do not miss out Peter Clayton’s review of Rebecca Black’s Friday) and of course, Scope Sport. We have a very special guest for our ‘One Minute With...’ feature: Bondy the Bullshark. He just happens to be as funny as he looks. See you next week,

Andra Nasrie

Weekly Busa Report

03

Japanese Tsunami

04

Greatest Economic Challenge of Our Generation

06

Photos

08

Little Acts of Kindness

14

Bond’s Greatest Athlete

16

The Burden of Thirst

18

Reviews

20

Trivia

21

Scope Sport

23

Jorja.Wallace .................Sub Editor Milly.Arsic................. Sub Editor

Mona.Mizikovsky ................. Sub Editor Peter.Clayton ................. Sub Editor

Shannan.Smith ................. Sub Editor

Jen.Phan ........... Photographer

Kat.Kaliviotis ...........Photographer

Sultan.AlSaheal ..........Photographer Mitch. Hammer..........Photographer Zee.Tarona ..........Photographer

Bella.Baldwin ..........Photographer

Ash.Adams..................Designer

Jacqui.Ward ..................Designer email us at: scope.bond@gmail.com Cover photo by Hardy Awadjie


Sports Pod Update Sam Hourigan What up, elite, competitive, social, casual, mind, liver and bedroom athletes! Yes, we’re all athletes in some respect, so this applies to you.

are only $35 and there is too much to pass up included, so get your ticket ASAP! A little further down the track, and looking into next semester, prepare yourselves for some inter-varsity action on top of the usual traditional events. In early June, we will ready our sporting army against a much larger Griffith University force. But like Spartan Warriors, we rely not on mass numbers, but skill, strength and determination as our weapons, and this year, we will as Victors! This will act as a perfect precursor for Northern University Games, held in Armadale in July. This year, for the first time ever, our teams will need to qualify in the top 2 places to advance through to Australian Uni Games, to be held on home turf, on the Gold Coast.

Just to remind you fresher of Bond Athletes, your BUSA Sports Pod this year comprises of two angels, Sporting Clubs and Events Director, Laura van Stekelenburg; and Sporting Projects and Development Director, Sarah Cobourn. These two are headed up by yours truly, Sam Hourigan, aka Charlie, your Vice President (Sport). This semester brings to fruition the results of what can only be described as the foundation of sporting management at Bond University, with the formation of the Sports Management Committee. This committee brings together five key stakeholders of sport in the university: BUSA, Campus Life, Senior Management, Sports Centre and most recently the HSM Faculty. Bridging the gaps between each of these stakeholders has allowed each, including BUSA Sport, to streamline our objectives and plans for sport into one cohesive management team. The results of this are starting to show, with first ever sporting developments and plans, increased external teams, bigger and better events and a complete makeover of the image of Bond Sport.

When we head off to compete in these inter-varsity competitions, or when one of our 6 externally competing teams go to battle with other local and state wide teams, they will all be sporting what we would like to call the ‘new image’ of Bond Sport. This semester we have finalised an official Bond Sport Logo, incorporating our mascot, Bondy the Bullshark, protecting our sacred crest. This new logo will appear on just about everything Sport at Bond, including all of our new across-the-board uniforms, made by Canterbury. Keep your ears and eyes open for the official Bond Sports Launch Party and Fashion Show to be held next semester!

Let us take a moment to reflect on this semesters outstanding events. We started off with North v South AFL. Together with HMSA, the event boasted record crowd attendance, and overflowing athlete participation. In week 8 (two basketballs, perhaps?), the ballers strutted their stuff, with USA firing some accurate long range bombs, in an impressive second half counter-attack, to steal the oil…I mean, the game, from Rest of the World. For the first time ever the event held a bar and Bond’s formidable squad of liver athletes found themselves also at the game, and a new commentator delivering some classic sporting wisdom, boosting numbers for the second semester in a row! A trend we hope to see continue in the future. Blaze Big Night Out the very next day once again proved to be a great night out for the lazy chair athletes, and the winning USA men’s and ROW women’s teams. The long tradition of Bus v Law Rugby took a change of tide this semester, with Business giving a thrashing to an understocked Law team. The weather proving not enough to hold off the crowd, with improved turn out from semester 103.

We’re all athletes in one way or another, so whatever you’re taking your aggression out on, training to strengthen, competing to win the ultimate prize, or performing in, remember, as the great Jesse Owens said: “Awards become corroded, but friends gather no dust”. We all live sport, so make some friends and get amongst it Bond!

On a different scale, this semester we also took the time to bring together all of our elite athletes at the Elite Athlete Morning Tea. The information gathered from our premier sports stars has been gathered and will act as the foundation for the introduction of an exciting new scheme we like to refer to as the Bond Elite Athlete Program, which will provide a range of support systems for the specific needs of top tier athletes, to help bring their sporting and academic ambitions to life, collaboratively. Alas, the sporting calendar never dies, and the show must go on. This weekend we will be taking a lucky bunch of you who have purchased your tickets to Brisvegas to watch the season kick start match between the Brisbane Lions and the Saints. Tickets

3


Japan Tsunami 2011

Blasting things out of proportion, and then some... Shintaro Koido

Just over a week ago, people around the world witnessed the horrific devastation in Japan. Tens of thousands of people are missing or injured, and thousands more are dead. Whilst the events unfolded, I witnessed the stark differences in media portrayals of both the disaster and the developing nuclear issue in the Australian and Japanese press. Throughout the week, we saw the pure sensationalism and, at times, pure fiction, in the various media. This includes typically serious media outlets such as The Australian and ABC News 24. In this article, I will be comparing the reactions of various Australian news stations to the Japanese press, primarily the Yomiuri Shimbun and the NHK News. On that fateful Friday afternoon, I turned on my television and saw the destruction that hit various parts of Japan, and the news stations did their best to inform worried people around the world about the developments occurring. However, come the Monday, we began seeing sensationalist headlines about both the natural disaster and the nuclear situation, the Gold Coast Bulletin leading with ‘3/11: Nature’s terror attack on Japan’, ‘Hope in Hell’ featuring in the Courier Mail, ‘Nuclear disaster ahead’ in the Australian, and ‘Another Chernobyl’. Whilst survivors were seeking shelter; the Japanese Government and the Tokyo Electric Power Company doing everything in their power to cool the fuel rods; and foreign governments sending aid, we were given lurid accounts about what was happening on the ground, how this was the end of nuclear power in the world, and the end to the habitability of Japan. On The Drum, we saw Dr Karl – best known for such fascinating Sunrise segments as how many times we need to wash our jeans a year - telling us how 95 per cent of nuclear energy is wasted, how nuclear energy is dangerous to humanity and how we’d be better off as a species if we got rid of it. And we cannot forget how our own Foreign Minister, Kevin Rudd, called on the Japanese Government to give every possible bit of information, not on the status of the rescue effort or the state of the Australians living there, but the state of the nuclear efforts. On the other hand, let’s look at the calmer, and just as factual, news stories coming out of Japan – Yomiuri Shimbun and NHK. ‘Japan grapples with serious situation’, ‘Government doing what it can’, ‘SDF called in to deal with Fukushima’. Within these news stories, we saw how the people of Japan and the Government were dealing with the potential meltdown at the Fukushima Daiichi power station. All the facts were there, all the steps there… but no panic. The Japanese people were kept abreast about what was happening on the ground, nothing was kept from them, but unlike in Australia, we weren’t told we should flee to the hills to stop us glowing green and having three-headed babies. This shows a tremendous lapse of judgement by the Australian press, and the sensationalism surrounding any possible disaster in far-off lands. I have to admit, there were calm heads trying to keep us informed in the Australian press – Ziggy Stikowski of ANSTO and the Sydney Morning Herald had a blow by blow account of how disaster relief and nuclear safety efforts were being carried out. Unfortunately, 600 words isn’t enough to fully inform readers about the failures in reporting by the Australian press. This writer hopes that in the future, we see more facts, and less fear in our news reports.

4


Japan Tsunami 2011

It's Time

Alex Myers

The recent tsunami in Japan has been devastating for a number of reasons. As of March 14, Japanese broadcaster NHK had confirmed 1,596 deaths. In reality, that number is much higher. Economic damage caused by the earthquake is equally formidable. ABC News reported yesterday that the damage bill could be as high as $US235 billion. Despite the catastrophic level of damage, the aspect of the Japanese earthquake receiving by far the most media attention is the damage of several nuclear reactors. There can be no doubt that the destruction caused by the earthquake has been exemplified by the severe damage caused to the reactor at Fukushima dai-ichi. Many repercussions arise from the focus on this issue. One of the most unfortunate is the setback caused to the nuclear energy industry. This is partly caused by the media attempting to liken what has happened in Japan to the Chernobyl disaster of 1986.

Fukushima Power Plant

In reality of course, Chernobyl and what is happening in Japan have precious little in common. The Chernobyl disaster was caused by an experiment that did not follow proper safety procedures. Further, at Chernobyl, there was no proper containment shield around the reactor, which would have mitigated considerable amounts of the damage. Although some doubts have been raised, as made clear in The Economist this week, that the primary reason the disaster was so significant was the use of old technology, the event leading to the Fukushima disaster was also, of course, totally beyond human control.

power as a political football for years, ensuring any debate is out of the question. The scaremongering attitude toward nuclear power is reflected in statements made by Senator Brown of the Australian Greens. Senator Brown was quoted in The Australian on Friday last week as saying the world should ‘…phase-out […] this toxic and obsolete technology’.

That is not to say that nuclear power does not give rise to some inherent risks. The nature of spent nuclear fuel is that it is radioactive and, consequently, hazardous to human health and the environment. Such fuel will not become completely harmless for thousands of years. If any radioactive material is not stored properly or leaks from a damaged reactor, it can give rise to many ramifications. Water can be contaminated and people can get radiation poisoning. Such risks cannot be ignored. However, what should occur in Australia, and what will undoubtedly be hampered by the nuclear disaster, is a serious and constructive

A second reason is the various benefits nuclear power could bring to Australia, as well as the advantages of the technology generally. Almost one quarter of the world’s uranium reserves are located within Australia. Australia would never have to purchase and import uranium from another state. Further, as also illustrated in The Economist this week, new nuclear reactors are much safer than old ones. Also, Australia is far less prone to earthquakes and other natural disaster that could damage nuclear reactors than Japan. Additionally, the efficiency of nuclear power should not be underestimated. France’s 58 nuclear reactors account for 75 per cent of its domestic electricity production. Last of all is the positive effects on carbon emissions that can be gained by increasing reliance on nuclear power and phasing out older polluting technology.

debate about nuclear power. This is the case for many reasons.

At the very least, a constructive debate on nuclear power in Australia must occur. It’s time.

First and foremost is the fact that such a debate has yet to occur. The Australian left in particular has used nuclear

5


Greatest Economic Challenge of Our Generation The greatest moral challenge of our generation? Forget that. Climate change is the greatest economic challenge of our generation. The habit of politicians to conflate economic policy with morality is a counter-productive one, particularly when pushing through difficult reforms. Former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd misspoke when he called climate change “the greatest moral challenge of our generation”, as he essentially gave those who oppose the concept a (moral, but not rational) leg to stand on. Instead of setting the tone for a debate grounded in dispassionate science, intelligent policy design by technocrats and a costbenefit analysis in light of the growing risks posed by climate change, the debate was shifted in favour of grand, moralising statements on both sides. Enough, however, of the politics of climate change; more attention needs to be paid to the economics of climate change. As Nobel Laureate Paul Krugman notes “… economics is not a morality play; the social and economic order we have doesn’t represent the playing out of some deep moral principles.” Scientific consensus on the issue is coming ever closer to absolute; the increase of carbon dioxide in our atmosphere will have some profoundly negative effects on our standard and way of life. The time to act has passed, which only highlights the need for effective and efficient policy. Likewise, consensus amongst mainstream economists is that a market-based program for reducing emissions is the best possible answer. I wish to give a broad overview on the economics of climate change, ranging from its theoretical foundations to the current policy proposals. Pigou, the father of environmental economics At an individual level, economics concerns itself with the effect of incentives on behaviour. As economists branched out from their classical fields in the late-19th and early-20th Centuries, they began to study how economic theory could be applied to environmental protection. Arthur Pigou, a British economist on the early 20th Century, is regarded as the father of environmental economics. He posited that although an economic transaction is mutually beneficial for the consenting parties, it can also impose a negative externality on remote, non-consenting parties. Instead of banning these transactions outright, which would be draconian and inefficient, Pigou proposed that a fee reflecting the external cost of these transactions to society should be imposed to discourage them. You have probably come across this concept in your Principles of Economics class, where it is referred to as a Pigovian tax (for, obviously, Arthur Pigou). The best example of a Pigovian tax is a pollution fee for factories dumping chemicals into the environment. Bigger polluters would pay more, which would induce them to emit less, either by producing less, or becoming more efficient with the resources they currently possess.

Liam Auer

It is this interplay of societal welfare and firm-level incentives (or rather, disincentives) that underpins the concept of either a carbon tax or an emissions trading scheme. Certainty of quantity or certainty of price Broadly speaking, the difference between a Pigovian carbon tax and an emissions trading scheme is minor. Both impose a cost on emitting carbon dioxide and both provide incentives for consumers and firms alike to shift away from carbon-intensive behaviour. However, there is one difference that has important practical implications. A carbon tax provides certainty on the price of carbon, whereas an emissions trading scheme provides certainty on the quantity of carbon emitted. Aggregately, and I believe most climate scientists would also endorse this opinion; certainty on the amount of carbon emitted is preferable. Climate science, although very advanced, is still measuring the impacts of a variable on a highly complicated system. Introducing another uncertain relationship – the one between the price of carbon and the level of carbon emitted – it too much of a risk, given the upside uncertainty of how sensitive the environment is to carbon. Another interplay here is if carbon levels reach a certain point, they may become self-perpetuating and lead to catastrophic consequences. Hence, the minimisation of this upside risk is paramount. How quickly should we act? For many, carbon reduction policy has been an agonisingly slow process. The question, therefore, becomes how long do we have until we hit the point where we absolutely have to bite the bullet and reform? Furthermore, how quickly should the price of carbon rise once we do implement reform? This is one area where climate economists are not in agreement. There seems to be two major positions: the policy-ramp position and the ‘act-now’ position. They differ on an apparently minor, but profoundly powerful, assumption. The policy-ramp position includes the pioneering environmental economist from Yale, Professor William Nordhaus. This position is that the price of carbon emissions should gradually increase, with most of the increases coming later this century. This implies a low marginal cost of additional carbon emissions now, but a high marginal cost at higher concentrations of atmospheric carbon; think of it as following an exponential cost function. Or, in layman’s terms (courtesy of Krugman), “…the message from these economists is a sort of climate version of St. Augustine’s famous prayer, ‘Give me chastity and continence, but not just now.”


The ‘act-now’ camp takes a more dire view on the consequences of emissions. Moreover, they believe that governments should give equal weight to the welfare of future generations, who will most likely deal with the more severe consequences of climate change. The most prominent proponent of this view is Lord Nicholas Stern, an economist from the London School of Economics (LSE). He produced a report for the British Government, informally known as the ‘Stern Review’. Other economists, such as Harvard-based Martin Weitzman, are in this camp, but for different reasons. He believes that the significant risk of catastrophic disaster is the prime reason for faster action. For the Law students in the audience, Weitzman’s argument is akin to one of the tests for negligence: weigh up the probability of risk (rather significant) and the seriousness of the potential harm (utterly devastating). Perhaps this is my risk-aversion shining through, but I prefer the second approach. Recent events have shown – the Global Financial Crisis (GFC) and the resulting nuclear meltdowns stemming from the tsunamis in Japan, for example – that society consistently underestimates ‘fat-tail’ risks. Given humanity’s propensity to systematically underestimate these risks, I say we err on the side of caution. History is on the side of an emissions trading scheme You may not know this, but an emissions trading scheme is not a radically new idea and it has been effectively used in the past. When acid rain was rearing its head as the environmental problem in the late 1980s, the United States (US) Congress passed The Clean Air Act of 1990. This was an emissions trading scheme for sulphur dioxide, where power plants could buy and sell emission permits. It is a demonstrable success – according to the US Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) emissions of sulphur dioxide were reduced from 17.3 million tons per annum to 10.3 million tons and the overall annual cost of compliance was estimated at between USD1 billion and USD2 billion this year. These compliance costs are miniscule in an economy that is USD14.2 trillion. Without a doubt, there will be costs to action. However, they will undoubtedly outweigh the costs of inaction. Households and businesses will face higher costs for certain goods, with petrol being the most visible for voters. Yet, the entire point of an emissions trading scheme is to raise the prices of carbon-intensive activities. This is exactly in line with the economic theory I outlined earlier; there is no gain without pain. Even so, the costs of an emissions trading scheme are relatively minor. Commonwealth Treasury analysis suggests that an emissions trading scheme would reduce Australia’s real Gross Domestic Product (GDP) by 0.1 – 0.2 percent on an annual basis. The goal is thus to minimise the cost of action and to maximise the carbon reduction. Unfortunately, none of the policy proposals from the current parties achieves this satisfactorily. Current options on the table Let me lay this out first: on one hand, we have a carbon tax possibly leading into an emissions trading scheme that will let the market respond to price incentives to best find out the way of reducing emissions without heavy-handed government interference. On the other hand, you have a direct action, commandand-control policy that leaves important decisions in the hands of bureaucrats based in Canberra. You would be forgiven for thinking that a Greens-constrained La-

bor Party was introducing the Soviet-style command-and-control policy, whereas the party of free enterprise that professes in the ‘miracle of markets’ – also known as the Liberal Party – was introducing the economically sensible policy. Alas, this is not the case. Do not read me wrong – there are plenty of flaws with Labor policy, but at least it adheres to the basic economic insight that people respond to price incentives and markets most efficiently compared to bureaucrats located in a central location. However, with a matter as highly complex and as significant as climate change, it is time to stop pursuing ‘second-best’ economics and implement an optimal policy. In a perfect world… In a perfect world, or a perfect Australia, at least, we would see an emissions trading scheme that auctioned all of its permits off without concessions to special interests and carbon adjustment tariffs imposed on countries without carbon pricing. (Before you accuse me of being protectionist on that last point, please note that: (i) there can be optimal levels of tariffs that are non-zero; and (ii) that World Trade Organisation (WTO) officials have commented that carbon tariffs would not be breaching international trade laws.) Another ideal policy component, and an interesting point recently raised by Professor Ross Garnaut (an economist from Australian National University (ANU) and author of the Governmentcommissioned Garnaut Report into climate change), is the need for a ‘carbon bank’. Economic reform often involves both winners and losers. For example, the lowering of trade tariffs in the 1970s and 1980s produced winners in the form of Australian consumers, who received lower prices for their manufactured goods, but also losers in the form of Australians employed in manufacturing, who lost their jobs due to increased competition. In order to salvage these losers from trade, society provided them with a strong safety net and job-training programs that allowed them to re-skill and gain employment in other sectors. This same principle should apply to the winners of an emissions trading scheme (i.e. society at large) and the losers of such a scheme (carbon-intensive exporters). However, the level of compensation for the losers should be independently and transparently set according to metrics that align with the overall goals of the scheme. This was not the case with the original Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme (CPRS). Rather, the level of compensation was set through closed-door dealings between the Prime Minister and company CEOs. You cannot truly blame the companies for extracting what they could from the Government, though. It is the duty of the CEO to extract what they can out of the government in order to maximise profits for shareholders. Instead, Garnaut recommends an institution that has legislative independence should set the levels of compensation. Sounds similar to the Reserve Bank of Australia, or as Garnaut coined it, “the Carbon Bank”. So there you have it. An emissions trading scheme is not such a radical economic policy that its opponents suggest and is an entirely reasonable response given the potential risks of inaction. And in an ideal world, the Government would pass an emissions trading scheme that emphasises a faster path of abatement and industry compensation would be set by a Carbon Bank. If only politicians were so easy to convince.


Grudge Week Beach Cricket Photographer: Andra Nasrie

Grudge Week Debate Photographer: Mitch Hammer


Grudge Week Launch Party

Photographer: Andrew Keep and Jonathon Bailey


Bus v Law Rugby Photographer: Andra Nasrie


PGSA Black & White Photographer: Hardy Awadjie


Little acts of

Kindness

Shannan Smith

“It will be my generation who witnesses the collapse of civil society as history has known it.“

In the space of just one week: The internet informed me a child had his leg broken in the hallway of a Sydney school after attacking a fellow student for no apparent reason. The radio station I listen to dedicated a whole afternoon segment to discussion of the decline of basic etiquette. The television broadcasters, never to be outdone, informed me that authorities had just exposed the largest paedophile ring in history - great news, yes, but it doesn’t change the fact that until last week the largest paedophile ring in history was fully operational. And I haven’t even mentioned Libya yet.

14


So maybe I’m a glass-half-empty kind of girl, but I have to say that more and more frequently, one of my greatest fears is absolutely reaffirmed. It will be my generation who witnesses the collapse of civil society as history has known it. Now there’s a comforting thought to have playing through your head as you attempt to fall asleep each night – though I guess you could say it’s my punishment for trying to dodge a rendezvous with the books in favour of a ‘blind date’ with shut-eye. I digress. The point is, to listen to the media on any given day of the week is to be bombarded with stories of violence, death and destruction. Without researching it for yourself, you’d find it exceedingly hard to believe the crime rate has actually declined from the levels of the 1990s in both Australia and the USA. Indeed, courtesy of the 21st Century’s ‘communicative abundance’ – thank you International Relations theory for that most eloquent expression of ‘the way the media runs our lives’ - even the most rational of minds is likely to question the direction the future generations are headed.

“The media’s countless stories of nightclub violence, disrespect for authority and youth gang participation certainly do not paint a similarly pretty picture of Gen Y’s final destination.”

there they were, stopped, protecting a family of ducks they’d never see again.

Certainly, if we are to find truth in the archives of history and the legends of folklore, our predecessors spent their early years calling for ethnic and gender equality and environmental awareness. They offered their elders reassurance that the world that they led would be a better, more beautiful place than the one into which they were born.

Maybe I’m pathetic, but it made my day.

The media’s countless stories of nightclub violence, disrespect for authority and youth gang participation certainly do not paint a similarly pretty picture of Gen Y’s final destination.

Consider the couple featured Monday night on Channel 10’s 7pm Project, who are working 18 hours days in an attempt to restore some type of normalcy to the lives of the victims of the Queensland floods. Or think of the New Zealanders who opened their homes to complete strangers after the devastating quake.

Regardless of the truth or fallacy of such portrayals – and a great deal of what we hear is no more than hype – in a world where public perception is as good as fact, one could be forgiven for concluding (as I have, on the odd occasion), that all roads lead to fatalism. But to those who would resign themselves to inevitable doom, I caution you to take a breath and open your eyes. Having just heard about the Australia’s absence of manners on the radio on my way home, I turned a corner to find two vehicles idling in the middle of the road. But it wasn’t because of traffic, or stop signs, or roadworks; a little family of ducks was crossing. And in that instant I thought to myself, we’re just not as bad as we’re led to believe we are. No doubt those stopped cars contained people with places to go and deadlines to meet, but

And if you take a minute to pay attention to the ‘filler’ stories in between the hard-hitting evening news, little acts of kindness like this – and some far greater – are taking place every day.

Despite the fact that it is stories of suffering, indiscretion and misdemeanour that dominate our current affairs programs and the ensuing conversations, in between these features – and perhaps more commonly in everyday life – there are instances of genuine kindness and goodness that remind us why we get out of bed each morning. So to finish on that positive note, I challenge you this week to make somebody else’s day brighter. It can be through an act as simple as smiling and saying hello to somebody you would usually walk past without acknowledging; or as complex as you like...


Bond’s Greatest Athlete Vinnie Rugari


Last Wednesday, a new Bond tradition was born. We hope. 16 of Bond’s finest physical specimens - three of them female - were put to the ultimate physical test to find out who really is Bond’s Greatest Athlete. It was a tough day at the office in even tougher conditions for our competitors, but our champions were crowned: Michael Malouf is Bond’s Greatest Male Athlete and Ruth Ambrosiussen is Bond’s Greatest Physical Athlete. Consistency was the key for Malouf, racking up double-figure scores in each event despite only collecting the maximum 18 points in the 40-metre dash with a time of 5.20 seconds, tied with two others. Coming in second place was Duncan Roberts, who will be spewing given that despite running the same time in the 40-metre dash and topping the Stationary Bike challenge by riding 1.29km in just one minute, he still couldn’t take home the biscuits. Third place was the lead singer of R.E.M, Michael Puhle, who took out the AFL set shot challenge and smashed the opposition with a 18.5 score on the beep test, but was let down by his absolutely disgraceful soccer skills; or lack thereof. For the women, it was really a case of being the least worst participant for Ruth, nailing an 11.1 on the beep test and finishing top of the female division in four different categories. Our champions each received a trophy for their efforts and their choice of either two tickets to Friday night’s match between the Titans and the Broncos, theme park tickets, or a dinner voucher to the Watermark. Second and third place got whatever was leftover. Thanks to all our sponsors, our competitors and everyone who came out to watch - we donated $190 to the Premier’s Disaster Relief Fund, so thank you very much. Place

Name

BOND'S GREATEST ATHLETE RESULTS - MALE Soccer Kick

AFL Kick

Benchpress

Stationary Bike

40-metre Dash

Basketball

Beep Test

Overall Score

1st

Michael Malouf

13

12

14

15

12

18

13

14

111

2nd

Duncan Roberts

14

8

10

15

18

18

7

9

99

3rd

Michael Puhle

10

3

18

13

7

12

12

18

93

4th

Chris Lambert

18

8

12

9

11

5

18

12

93

5th

John Howell

11

14

1

11

14

12

12

13

88

6th

Gene Kubala

7

3

13

10

15

13

14

7

82

7th

Sellek Bunn

13

3

2

8

11

9

15

15

76

8th

Fredy Sandoval

2

18

8

18

6

9

7

6

74

9th

Arttu Takala

7

9

4

13

11

7

8

11

70

10th

Brad Holovati

9

11

3

7

13

7

7

8

65

11th

Steven Hodgson

12

15

9

1

5

10

7

5

64

12th

Jacob Collier

2

4

3

3

8

18

7

10

55

13th

Rob Libeau

4

7

13

7

4

4

7

4

50

Rugby Kick

BOND'S GREATEST ATHLETE RESULTS - FEMALE Rugby Kick

Soccer Kick

AFL Kick

Benchpress

Stationary Bike

40-metre Dash

Basketball

Beep Test

Overall Score

Ruth Ambrosiussen

5

14

7

5

2

3

9

18

63

2nd

Meredith Bond

8

3

11

5

3

2

12

14

58

3rd

Erinn Cooper

3

10

6

2

1

2

7

15

46

Place

Name

1st


The Burden of Thirst Most of us have never really been thirsty. We’ve never had to leave our houses and walk five miles to fetch water. We simply turn on the tap and water comes out. Clean. Yet there are a billion people on the planet who don’t have clean water. Tap Collective is a non-profit organization bringing clean, safe drinking water to people in developing nations. 100% of profits collected go directly to fund sustainable water solutions in areas of greatest need. It’s hard to imagine what a billion people really looks like, but one in eight might be easier to comprehend. One billion people in our world don’t have access to the most basic of human needs; something we can’t imagine going 12 hours without. Unsafe water and lack of basic sanitation causes 80% of diseases and kills more people every year than all forms of violence, including war. Children are especially vulnerable, as their bodies aren’t strong enough to fight diarrhea, dysentery and other illnesses. 90% of the 42,000 deaths that occur every week from unsafe water and unhygienic living conditions are of children under five years old. Many of these diseases are preventable. The UN predicts that one tenth of the global disease burden can be prevented simply by improving water supply and sanitation. Tap Collective would like to introduce you to some of these billion people. They are real, and they need your help. They didn’t choose to be born into a village where the only source of water is a polluted swamp. And we didn’t choose to be born in a country where even the homeless have ac-

Mitch Hammer

cess to clean water and a toilet. Put yourself in their shoes. Follow them on their daily journeys. Travel hours to gain access to the nearest well. Carry 36 kilos of water in yellow fuel cans. Dig with their children in the dirt for water. Line up at a well and wait eight hours for a turn. Now, make a decision. Are you going to help? At Tap Collective we do not offer grand schemes or multimillion dollar investments, but instead we simply offer a thing that works: freshwater wells. With your support, we, as a collective, can help millions. This is how we can help you help them. Tap Collective are supplying aluminum, eco-friendly drink bottles. Our plan is to source supporting Cafes and restaurants to stock and sell our bottles as well as refill Tap branded bottles with cold, fresh water for customers who enter supporting stores. We have registered tapcollective.org and are in the process of creating a website allowing each owner of a drink bottle to be able to track where their money has gone and the progress of the projects. In addition they will be able to become a part of the community that we are trying to create through Tap Collective. Simply buying a bottle can bring clean drinking water to those who desperately need it. Buy a Tap bottle and become part of the solution. To get a bottle directly, please contact Mitch Hammer, Myles Gunter or Sophia Grundy.


The Adjustment Bureau

Scope Review Little Miss Sunshine Soundtrack

Rebecca Black - Friday Wow. I cannot believe that this song is even getting airplay. It is by far the most vile, ever-growing collection of ass-water that I have ever encountered. (And, I have seen Napoleon Dynamite). To approach this song, I will attack it in two ways: i) if it is a legitimate song, and ii) if it is a marketing ploy by the producers. If this is a legitimate song, then there is no hope for us. Such lyrical genius has never seen the light of day. “Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal”. Are you fucking serious? You stupid swine. There was a good picture on 9gag.com, which stated that lyrics have gone south since the 70’s. It compared a Led Zeppelin track to Rebecca Black’s first (and hopefully last) sonnet of abortion. Gone are the days when lyrics actually meant something, even in an ironic or metaphoric manner. Music has now (at least in the case of Rebecca Black) become as delightful as a 1940’s Polish cattle car. I have actually seen someone use the threat “I will sing Rebecca Black at you” for the most meagre of things. Is this the society that we have become? Well, as long as people are aware that this song has no place in a developed society, I can handle it. If this song (which I highly doubt) is a marketing ploy, then hats off to the producers. As of 6pm (Tuesday night), this video has 33.4 million hits. It’s been up for approximately a month. This video has been watch (assuming it is a perfect 30 day month) 12.88 times each second. How can this not be good for a marketing stint. If you can at least get some exposure (and these figures are brilliant), then you are well on your way to establishing some (albeit terrible) credibility in the music world. However, I think that this song is not an intentionally awful ‘masterpiece’, but just a viral hit that infects the brain and multiplies, leaving the cerebral cortex as an eroded shell. Imagine watching ‘Neighbours’ on repeat; it has the same effect. I have wasted enough time in my life on this god awful song (3:48 to be exact). However, I am enjoying the online rants and parodies of this track that have spawned from this Godless, whorelike shell of a 13 year old girl. That being said, I would rather listen to a beginner string quartet while bashing my head with an assortment of hard objects (lead pipe in the Billiard Room) and download the discography of Justin Bieber than listen to this poor excuse for a song ever again. I hope that fame gets to Rebecca Black’s head, and she develops a major heroin addiction. Because, if she does, she may actually write some decent music. That, or just overdose, putting us all out of our fucking misery.

Rating: 0.1/10 -- Peter Clayton

Hey reader, what’s your favourite soundtrack? Garden State? Pulp Fiction? Forrest Gump, or maybe Romeo + Juliet? True, true, all good choices. My BFF soundtrack is Little Miss Sunshine. Unlike the other examples listed, it’s not exactly a compilation album. Although Sufjan Stevens pops up twice and there’s two wacky songs at the end, it’s mostly ‘scored’ by Mychael (no, that’s not a spelling mistake) Danna and a band called DeVotchKa (their myspace lettering not mine). Don’t worry if you haven’t heard about them. I’ve never listened to a proper DeVotchKa LP from start to finish. I don’t even really like their music. But this isn’t a DeVotchKa album. It’s a soundtrack to a film that manages to make me sad with wit and giggle with quirk and somehow end up feeling pretty awesome. So how exactly do you score an album like this? Easy: circus music. Seriously. Use instruments with sexy names like the bouzouki and the sousaphone, throw in some electronica, piano chords, strumming guitars and an accordion solo probably inspired by a sexalicious dead gypsy. On the other hand: there’s the two tunes I always skip, some whiny singing that a real-man would never own up to liking, and there really are no ‘stand-out singles’. So why, after 5 years, is it still one of my go-to playlists? Well, it’s easy enough to ignore the two tracks, I’m not a real-man and there’s no stand-out singles because the whole album is a trip. The music bounces with mirth, but there’s a deep, elegant sincerity to its sadness. Not depression or one of those emo facebook statuses. It’s music that recognises that happiness is not the same as ‘fun’; that you can have fun and still be sad, and can be sad but really also very happy at the same time.

Rating: 9.2/10 -- Q. M Noakhtar


brain teasers

trivia Logic Puzzles Daffy Duck

“Of course you know, this means war”. OK, you may know who Daffy Duck is, but how much do you really know about this daft Looney Tune? Find out by taking this quiz. 1. What was the name of the cartoon short that Daffy Duck first appeared in? 2. The character of Daffy Duck is older than the Bugs Bunny character. 3. In what year did Daffy Duck first appear? 4. Which word best describes Daffy Duck? 5. Daffy Duck has appeared in over 100 cartoon shorts since his creation. Double Jumble

First, unscramble each of the seven words below to form common English words. Then, take the first letter of each of those seven words and unscramble them, and take the last letter of each of those seven words and unscramble them. The result will be two words that form a common phrase.

Many Young Women The following clues refer to the names of several young women, in the form of Miss Suchandsuch. These names then actually form a new word (although there will be a spelling difference with one s missing) For example, “This young woman obeys all the rules” would be misbehave (Miss Behave) Can you figure out the rest of the words? 1. This young woman is in great shape. 2. This young woman is very generous at Christmas. 3. This young woman showed me where to go. 4. You could tell this young woman all your secrets. 5. This young woman knew exactly what I meant. 6. This young woman is exactly the right choice. 7. This young woman could lead the orchestra.

Wordoku

1. pluit 2. ftiles 3. uuienq 4. tbxiieh 5. ilscsca 6. itererpt 7. belemers What Song? A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees the man next to him pull a wad of £50 notes out of his wallet. He turns to the rich man and says to him, “I have an amazing talent; I know almost every song that has ever existed.” The rich man laughs. The poor man says, “I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady’s name of your choice in it.” The rich man laughs again and says, “OK, how about my daughter’s name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller?” The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich. What song did he sing?

Letters: BEGHINOQT

Solutions can be found on Scope’s Facebook profile. Add us as a friend.


HOT OR NOT

Scope Sport Bondies represent on queensland universities rugby league team Sarah Cobourn Two of our very own Bondies have recently been selected to the 2011 Queensland Universities Rugby League Team. According to the records, these are the first two Bond students to ever make the QLD Universities Rugby League team. Nicholas Harrold and Hayden Allsop will attend a week long training camp to prepare for when they go head to head against the NSW Universities Rugby League in an annual game held on 11 April, 2011, in Brisbane. The match will be held at Suncorp Stadium as the curtain raiser to the Broncos v Knights NRL game. The team that takes on NSW Universities that night will be coached by former NRL mentor Murray Hurst, who was head coach of the North Queensland Cowboys from 2001-02.

grown up on the Gold Coast, Hayden has been playing Rugby Union since 1991. He has been playing with the Burleigh Bears Queensland Cup Team since 2004. Having attended Bond College for 2 semesters, he is now in his fourth semester of the Property & Sustainable Development degree.

HOT Mimco 9gag.com Midgets

Lotus Flower Extravaganza Prince Charming Student Deals Being Serenaded Ethnic Modelling ‘Successful Black Man’ Meme

Although the selection process for this team was the result of a résumé submission, Hayden believes he has a “competitive chance” at making the Australian team. Good luck to Nicholas and Hayden!

Perserverence HTC Android phones Live ‘n’ Loud Long hair Spartacus

This is an important game for the boys as an Australian University Rugby League team will be selected following the QLD v NSW match that will then compete in an international series against Great Britain and New Zealand in June/July.

Anusol Men in suits NOT Grad Applications Burping eStudent

I caught up with Hayden last week to learn more about this opportunity of a lifetime. Born in Sydney but having

PDA Intimacy Rebecca Black (again)

Training events and times

mytimetable.bond. edu.au (new subject booking system) ‘Enter’ to post comment No technology Underarm hair Drunk parents

Only humans shed emotional tears Hippo milk is pink

Anus itch


One minute with...

Bondy Degree: Being awesome Nationality: Carcharhinus leucas Favourite food and why? Stray Griffith students, either on land or in the water. Less brains, more meat. Favourite swimming stroke? Butterfly Favourite ocean? Specific Ocean Who would you most like to eat and why? Sam Hourigan - he’s so juicy How do you feel about sharks as a food item? Sharks are friends, not food. Do you think sharks were represented accurately in ‘Finding Nemo’? Yes, all we want is to be loved.


Scope 111 Week 10  

Scope 111 Week 10

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