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HALFWAY CROOKS / THE FURTHEST THING FROM THE WORD FRIEND AWARDS
1. Fat Slimison aka pumpkinhead aka my daddy beat me wah: Never being good looking nor popular with any chicks ever, clung to me for that. Short-changed gum sales in middle school to give them free to chicks since ugly, fat, awkward. Coach on acid after I struck out 7 batters in a row on my bday took me out, ahead by 4 runs, put in this lard bucket and we LOST. Started slanging summer 1996 set me up in E. Lansing had some ‘scary black kids’ pull a gun on me, take the cash etc. come to find out he got a cut of it. WAS THE EXACT REASON I was setup, introduced me to his ‘neighbor kid friend’ with a ‘hippie dad’ who ‘was looking for a decent amount’. Raped K w nitrous balloons pushing. She was saying no you kept trying to get her passed out. 2. Mark Buttcheeks, see his bank account info on following page, he claimed to be a friend I’m like dude you just steal all of my ideas , make me homeless etc. how the fuck is that a friend? Anyways Marko, PoleHO! $732,412 last time I saw cash bal. I NEVER rolled over. I TRIED TO ON WETBACK COX BECAUSE I HATED HIM. HE STOLE THE NARCotics OFFICERS CASH AND RAN< OH WELL I TRIED YOU PRICK ENDED UP IN POKEY ON YOUR OWN ACCORD I HEAR AT ANY RATE BEER THIEF ! YEA I TOOK IT FOR THAT ONE! 3. Ian Mulcringe aka baby-raper aka slave driver. In the end, he thought the universe surrounded him so much that he WISHED me from skid row to Michigan at his cripple-whim. SINCE I DID NOT HAVE TITS OH BOY I REALLY NEEDED THAT WATER FILTER PRICK < $37 and giving me shit? You gave yourself ALS? LOL BYE FELICIA
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