welcome to bloomington By definition, a Hoosier is a native or inhabitant of Indiana, but everyone in Indiana knows the truth. Being a Hoosier is much more than just living in Indiana - it’s about being a part of Indiana University. As a Hoosier, one must be ready at a moment’s notice to represent the true spirit of IU. So grab your candy-striped pants, pop a squat on your roof, and open a Natty Light. You’re about to be schooled on how to be a Hoosier.
If you’ve ever been to a football game at IU, you’ll know that you’re doing it wrong. The most exciting part of the fall semester is every Saturday of a home game. As a student, you’ll wake up early – sometimes before 6 a.m. —and drink until 9 p.m. or until you pass out. Whichever comes first. Sure, you can’t make it to your 8 a.m. class every Monday and Wednesday, but maybe your Intro to Finite professor could increase class attendance and participation if she offered shots of Komchatka for correct answers. Memorial Stadium // August - November
Formerly known as Midnight Madness, this is your excuse to pretend like you love and understand basketball. Get excited to see all those hot basketball players. Network with alumni while in your drunken fog. Maybe you’ll even see John Cougar Mellencamp and Meg Ryan’s lips! What’s that short guy’s name again? Yawgi? Yeah, he’s really great. He may even carry us to the World Series…or the super bowl — whatever that big tournament is called. Assembly Hall // October
1 WALNUT AVE
Hoosier Guide 1. FARMERS MARKET 2. HOUSE BAR 3. AVER S PIZZA 4. PRIVATE POOL 5. NICK S ’
6. KILROY S 7. DROOF ’
8. RUN NAKED 9. TAILGATE
You could splurge and get a $2 Upland Wheat, but why spend the extra money when, let’s face it, you’re only at House Bar because you’re either a.) already drunk, or b.) looking to get white girl wasted. Hipsters and Jocks unite over the glory of Old IU and cheap beer! 813 N Walnut St // 7 p.m. - 3 a.m. // Cash Only
OPEN TO CLOSE AT KILROY S Nothing says “college” like spending 16 hours in a bar. That’s right, for the low price of 1 drink per hour, you can spend your entire day at Kilroy’s on Kirkwood “Why would one do this,” you may be asking. Well, you’ll be immortalized on the KOK Wall of Shame…er…Fame. 502 E Kirkwood Ave // 11 a.m. - 3 a.m.
AVER S PIZZA
Forget Pizza X. Yes, it’s cheap, but if you’re going to gain the Freshman 15, you might as well do it the right way. Aver’s is the best pizza on the planet. We get it, there’s all that fantastic Chicago-style pizza from your hometown. But can you get an entire pizza, an order of breadsticks, two drinks, AND two cookies for $11.00? 2909 E Covenanter Dr // Delivers Until 4 a.m.
SINK THE BIZ AT NICK S You could play beer pong at your house and spend less money, but nothing beats the thrill of sinking a glass in a bucket of beer! Network with alumni and fellow students while you drink cheap beer, make a mess of the bar, and get so drunk, you won’t even acknowledge, let alone remember, the rules. 423 E Kirkwood Ave // 11 a.m. - 2 a.m.
Spend a summer in Bloomington and sneak into a private pool. Find your favorite in town. If you’re looking for the best college pool in town, check out Brownstone Terrace. Avoid any pool on Dunn Street. These pools have been known as “hair pool.” 336 E Brownstone Dr // All Summer Long
There are three times the student recreational center is packed with girls getting in shape. Those times are the week before spring break, the week after New Year’s, and the week before the Nearly Naked Mile. After you run nearly a mile while you’re nearly naked, splash in Showalter Fountain, and take amoxiciilin, because you probably have Pneumonia. Dunn Meadow // Homecoming Week
FARMERS MARKET No one knows local produce like Hoosiers. So what if farmers markets in Vermont, New York, and Wisconsin are nationally ranked? The farmers market here in Bloomington is jammed packed with Hoosiers’ favorite food group - corn! Outside City Hall // April - November
Drinking on your roof - “Droofing” - puts a whole new meaning to high gravity beer. If you end up in an apartment, it is essential that you befriend someone who lives in one of the historic houses on the south side of campus. Who cares if you actually like the person?
Historic Homes in Bloomington // 1st and 2nd St.
This tongue-in-cheek guide to Indiana University will have you speaking Hoosier in no time!