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ENTER & WIN

ARE YOU THE FACE OF SOURCE OF BEAUTY?

100

THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE

MAKE UP SEX GOOD OR BAD?

“ANOREXIA LOST

AND I WON!”

Melinda Hutchings Triumph Over Death

URINARY TRACT INFECTIONS How to prevent & treat them


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Finally at 40 | Life Begins

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Contents

Inspire ANOREXIA LOST AND I WON! | 06 40 year old author and youth role model, Melinda Hutchings has defied the odds and emerged triumphant from her battle with the deadly condition, Anorexia Nervosa. Hayley Solich shares the story.

Community HEART OF GOLD | 10 Grandmother, Ros Worthington OAM, Australia’s most successful charity champion, reveals the personal pain that drives her to continue her inspirational social entrepreneurialship.

Country BEEN THERE DONE THAT |14

Anorexia Lost and I won! p.06

City born, Country tried farmer’s wife, Jenny Stockings, shares how she jumped out of a plane at 54 just so she could tell her skydiving husband she’d, ‘Been There and Done That!’

Health

Style

Inspire

Relationship

YOU’RE NOT DEAD YET | 28

ELEGANCE: COAST, COUNTRY,

MY ALASKAN ADVENTURE | 42

A LOVER’S WAY TO SOLVE

David Beard proves that the longer you remain active, the better your quality of life will be and is on a mission to empower people of all ages to take better care of their physical health so that they can enjoy a better quality of life as they get older.

CITY | 22

RELATIONSHIP ISSUES | 48

Our new fashion writer, Trace Davis, covers styling for elegance and encourages all to experiment and find what works for you.

Perth Artist, Michelle Ryan, shares her gorgeous photos and exciting adventure kayaking in Alaska. It’s enough to make you want to go there too!

CONSCIOUS STYLING | 24

TODAY I WILL… | 52

Is ‘make up sex’ good or bad? Heidi McConkey tackles the very difficult issue of resolving conflicts lovingly and shines some light on the well quoted, ‘Kiss and make up’ part of a couple’s routine.

Alexia Tzovlas shares her list of 100 things to do before she becomes an angel and asks, “What’s on your list?”

ARE YOUR 40S REALLY

EMPOWERING FOODS FOR DETOX & WEIGHT LOSS | 58 Figure Champion and Chinese Medicine Practioner, Kathryn Avramakis, has got it all covered in her informative East meets West look at food, detox and weight loss.

UTI’S | 20 The bane of many women’s lives, UTI’s affect so many, especially those over 40. Learn how to prevent them and how to treat them in this informative article from Lisa Bennett.

Finally at 40 | Life Begins

Do you buy your clothes on purpose or is it random? Helen Robinett reveals the four stages we pass through in our personal styling journey. Which one are you?

FABULOUS? | 18 FINDING YOUR HIDDEN GOLD | 36

THE MODEL ARTIST | 38 Successful artist, Selena Smith, shares about her life as a ‘serviceman’s wife’ and how she came to be an inspirational role model and selected as a Champion for Further Education.

Most women multi-task on a daily basis, but because they do not receive a wage for their efforts many fail to appreciate the skills they are acquiring along the way, skills that are worth

Popular culture and ‘Sex and the City’ would like us to think so, but women in their 40s may not necessarily agree. Jean Hailles shares how to reverse the downward slide that can happen when we turn 40.

gold. Discover your transferrable skills.

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PUBLISHER JACOB PUBLISHING Jenny Jacob

EDITORIAL

I

n the last couple of months I have come to two realizations, some of us don’t like to admit our age and some don’t mind seeing younger models wearing their favourite fashion labels, it’s acceptable or…it just looks more appealing! I speak on behalf of the 80% of the female population and the remaining 20% I congratulate – I visualise them with hands raised, shouting ‘I’m Free’! I don’t know about you, but I picture myself wearing that model’s garment in the hope to look like her, and to begin with I do. Well maybe only in the morning, but come the afternoon my over 40’s bloated stomach re-appears and there goes the look! But that’s not to say I don’t count to 10 every 60 seconds holding my breath – a good excuse to tighten the tummy. The above revelation comes after many recent conversations I had concerning age, and in particular, with women in their 60s and 70s admitting they would rather see a younger face modelling their favourite label, be it skin or dress. Which are you? The 80% with a forever youthful complexion and never ageing or the 20% with hands raised shouting, ‘I’m free’. I know what I am! Ageing is inevitable, and to be honest, since commencing this mag I have met so many diverse women over the age of 40, go-getters, entrepreneurs, athletic, hot-to-trot, business women etc... There are thousands of women in their late 40’s and beyond who have started great works - Why? Because of age and with that comes wisdom and experience, yes we are ageing – ‘ageing gracefully’ – I say put it to use and show the young ones we’ve still got it! Jenny

C

ongratulations to two lucky readers; June Kelly who won the Image Consultation with Helen Robinett, and Heather Robertson who won the copy of Ms Millionaire book. I can hardly believe we are already well into 2011! So what are my Editor’s picks from this issue? Firstly, I loved interviewing our gorgeous cover model, Melinda Hutchings, who is not only beautiful but articulate and very professional. Hard to believe she is 40 until you hear her speak – so much wisdom! As always you can’t go past Steve Wilkinson’s Midlife Manness article…had me in stitches (my kids think I’m really strange sitting giggling at my computer screen). Loved the story ‘Been There Done That’, a farmer’s wife’s adventure by Kerrie Phipps, which certainly shows us that country women are not limited to farm duties only. Ros Worthington OAM continues to inspire with her social entrepreneurial brilliance and passion for helping others. She has certainly earned her Order of Australia medal! I love Selena Smith’s artwork and she definitely is a great role model and inspirational artist. Speaking of role models, sneak a peek at Fitness Specialist David Beard. He’s certainly giving his sons a run for their money and he’s not just a good looking man in his 50’s, ladies, he has brains, practical wisdom and a great sense of humour too. Finally, there are so many great articles from our regular contributors: Wild About Bananas, Urinary Tract Infections, Physical Touch, Conflict Resolution, and so many more great and helpful articles. Grab a cuppa, find a comfy chair and enjoy the magazine…and don’t forget to pass it on when you’re done. Share the love! Hayley

EDITOR Hayley Solich SENIOR DESIGNER Renee Fulton DESIGNER Kristie Kernke CONTRIBUTORS Susannah Anderson Christine Camp Kathryn Avramakis Helen Robinett Lisa Bennett Chrissy Fraser Andrea Cafnik Donna Hanson Steve Wilkinson Susan Gianevsky Heidi McConkey Kerrie Phipps Kareena Trevillian Sarah Singer Tracey Davis

PHOTOS Big Stock Photo EDITORIAL CONTENT info@jacobpublishing.com ON THE COVER Melinda Hutchings Photo by Jodie Anne Photography Dress by Moss and Spy CONTACT US Ph. 1300 737 629 info@jacobpublishing.com SUBSCRIPTIONS Jacob Publishing, PO Box 172 Tullamarine, VIC 3043 Australia Ph. 1300 737 629 Web: www.finallyat40.com.au info@jacobpublishing.com To Advertise in Magazine and Website info@jacobpublishing.com Ph. 1300 737 629 DISCLAIMER No material may be reproduced in part or in whole without written consent from the copyright holder. For reprinting or publishing written permission is required to the editor. While we always try to clear and confirm all editorial content both text and photographs before publishing, we do welcome the opportunity to correct any errors or omissions. the opinions of the contributors, interviewee and/or columnists are not necessarily those of the publisher. Finally at 40 Life Begins TM magazine aims to encourage women in all facets of life: mentally, physically and emotinally. JACOB PUBLISHING PO BOX 172, TULLAMARINE VIC 3043 ABN: 731 450 070 76

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Finally at 40 | Life Begins


40 FRIENDSHIPS

Coffee With Chrissy

As Time Goes By By Chrissy Fraser

It

is topically known as the Bucket list. That is a list of things to do, before we meet our maker. Mine would have to be called the mini skip list, as it keeps increasing in size as I get older. Funny that the longer I live the more I have to achieve. I believe it is not that I am a procrastinator; it is that I just don’t know where to start. It started way back in the 70’s with the first of my four children. I have his hospital bracelet (now yellow with age), his birth notice and all his cards and photo’s not to mention the mandatory baby album. I have all the necessary objects and artefacts; they just have to be placed in chronological order. Thirty seven years later they are still to be done! I counted eighty one little black containers in a drawer in my tall boy last week. Entrusted to them, is the countless memories yet to be developed from my children’s childhood. Yes I am guilty of taking photos and not getting them developed for years, no sorry decades. While on the subject there are the innumerable little yellow packets waiting to be placed lovingly in their appropriate albums. If this sounds sad to you please bear in mind, at least these ones I had developed. I am not one of those women who have a burning desire to parachute from a plane that is going to land anyway. I will wait and alight Finally at 40 | Life Begins

with my dignity intact. I do not have a yen to deep sea dive with sharks. I like to dine not be dined on. I do not wish to bungy jump either, if I wanted to shock my ageing joints I would probably do something truly amazing like, EXERCISE, at least that I could recover from and live to tell the tale. I would however like to visit Machu Pichu. That has been a long held desire of mine. Alas, the Aztec calendar ends in the year 2012 so that window of opportunity is closing fast. I have always wanted to learn how to belly dance, I even have the costume. A pair of harem pants and a midriff top with bells that jingle and sequins to shimmer and shine. On the detrimental side, I now have a large round stomach. I think that I’ve left my run too late for that one. Besides, now the Zumba is the rage. I have a house full of treasured mother’s day presents, lovingly wrapped by chubby little fingers all those years ago. Hand written cards and uncashed I.O.Us .They all need to be sorted. Beloved toys no longer played with, school reports and brilliant works of art (finger paintings), carefully packed away. I even have little locks of hair from their first haircuts. I will someday part with my many and varied treasures. So after reading this you may think of me as a hoarder. I refute this; I am a collector and keeper of fine and treasured memories, just still to be sorted.

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Contributors HEIDI MCCONKEY – SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS SPECIALIST Heidi is a registered professional counsellor and clincial sex therapist who is down to earth, witty and easy to talk to, with specialisations in a broad range of sex related subjects. www.affirmotive.com

KERRIE PHIPPS – LIFE COACH & AUTHOR Kerrie facilitates and highlights success in regional Australia through writing, coaching and speaking. Kerrie understands the unique challenges and opportunities of regional life and business and thrives on connecting people. www.liftingthelid.com

KAREENA TREVILLIAN – WRITER Kareena’s childhood dream was always to be a writer and after 40 years she has achieved that desire. Based in NSW, her passion is to brighten someone’s day.

HELEN ROBINETT – PERSONAL IMAGE CONSULTANT Helen is an Image Consultant who maximises the potential look and feel of individual personalities and corporate cultures in a service that is second to none. www.imagequest.com.au

SARAH SINGER – INTERVIEW STYLIST & COACH Sarah runs dressyu Melbourne, a styling and interview coaching consultancy. There are 3 sides to the business – dressyu4interview, dressyustyling and dressyuunderstands. www.dressyu.com.au

STEVE WILKINSON – MIDLIFE MANNESS A former cop, cartoonist and copywriter, Steve now works as an online editor and freelance writer. Now in his 40’s he is committed to taking things less seriously. www.stevebeingsteve.com

CHRISTINE CAMP – WRITER & DESIGNER Christine is a professional writer and entrepreneur, with skills and businesses focused around ecard and website design. She also has a keen interest in dream interpretation and teaching people how to understand their dreams. www.christinecamp.com.au

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SUSANNAH ANDERSON – REAL ESTATE SPECIALIST With well over 15 years’ experience in the real estate industry, Susannah Anderson has assisted people selling real estate in all kinds of market conditions.

KATHRYN AVRAMAKIS – NATURAL MEDICINE Kathryn is a Natural Medicine practitioner and lecturer with over 19 years experience, working in the fields of muscular/sports injuries and cellular health. www.kathrynavramakis.com

LISA BENNETT – NATUROPATH Lisa is a leading women’s health naturopath, herbalist, registered nurse and integrative medicine practitioner with 25 years experience. lisa@roseannanaturopath.com.au

CHRISSY FRASER – COFFEE WITH CHRISSY Wife, mother of three and professional, Chrissy Fraser gives us a lighter look at the wisdom of being 52 and fabuous.

ANDREA CAFNIK – BOOK REVIEWER Andrea is a dedicated writer who loves the written word and sharing stories. Also an avid reader, Andrea contributes to a number of magazines and newspapers.

SUSAN GIANEVSKY – HOMEOPATH Susan is an award winning homeopath and Health Writer with a passion for Women’s Health and over 18 years experience in the health industry. www.befreenow.com.au

DONNA HANSON – TECHNOLOGY EXPERT Donna is the Technology Translator, turning computer jargon into everyday language. She has made several appearances on Channel 7’s Sunrise program and monthly radio segments across Australia. www.donnahanson.com.au

Finally at 40 | Life Begins


timeless style for travel, business and life on the move our clients are women who are: • wanting to do more

with less

Readers Comments I came across your magazine quite by accident. I used to purchase all the women’s magazines but the last few years have been unsatisfied with them, so I stopped. These days I only purchase when I‘m travelling or holidaying. I was off to Tassie, so grabbed a copy and read it cover to cover, pleasantly surprised and wondering why I hadn’t heard of it before?

• ready to step up

their image

• time poor • mothers, daughters,

grandmothers

• business executives • successful professionals

My girlfriend would not let me bring it home, she too loved it, so I purchased another at home, then purchased 3 more and gave to friends. I love the realness, the positiveness and the fact I feel like I am sitting down with friends. I will also be purchasing 4 more copies to send to women I love to let them know they are special.

• speakers and presenters

As a speaker and trainer of Self Worth, and a woman who has issues about her own aging and health, this magazine seems to answer questions, make me feel more than ok and addresses what I would want to speak about.

• certified image advice

Body image these days is also high on the agenda with retailers finally realising women are meant to look like women and that we come in all shapes and sizes so Finally at 40 does not only say they support healthy body image, they do it.

• wardrobe planning

• conscious of their style

what we offer our clients: • high quality basics • impact dressing • styles that flatter • colour and style

direction

I suggest this to be the best gift ever, either to one self just because we are all special and to someone we love because it’s a gift that really can make a difference. I cannot wait for the next edition and would LOVE to meet readers at an event that we can all celebrate our age, our life and our selves.

GIMME 10 – Join those who are putting up their hand “For I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat...” GIMME 10’s aim is to provide care to the needy, to the desperately poor, neglected and forgotten orphans whose parents have died of Aids, wars or natural disasters and widows who are left desolate and to fend for themselves. Then of course there is our own country, where from time to time certain situations and projects will come to our attention. Our hope is that many will embrace the vision of GIMME 10 by contributing $10 a month, imagine 200 men and women or better 500 men and women all contributing $10 a month – we would certainly change lives and communities… JOIN NOW! For more information visit www.gimmeten.org

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Take a well-earned coffee break and visit us at www.finallyat40.com.au! You’ll find articles on a great range of topics relevant to over-40’s – including health, self-confidence and fashion – and of course our inspiring real-life stories. You can subscribe to the magazine (just in case you haven’t already!), enter competitions, drop us a line or visit stockists who have products and resources that will interest you. Who said Baby Boomers aren’t tech savvy… let’s get clicking!

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40 INSPIRE

Anorexia Lost and I won! 40 year old author and youth role model, Melinda Hutchings, has defied the odds and emerged triumphant from her battle with the deadly condition, Anorexia Nervosa. Using her experience to change the lives of teenagers everywhere, Melinda is an inspirational role model for Australian young men and women. Hayley Solich shares the story behind the woman tackling eating disorders head on…

W

hen I first met Melinda Hutchings on social media website,Thought Leaders Central, I was taken by her warmth, her beauty and her passion for her subject - young people and eating disorders. With a daughter coming into her teens who was worrying me, I immediately connected with the theme of her books and started communicating with her, one writer to another. Inviting her to write for Finally at 40 seemed logical, after all, I was keen to know more about eating disorders as I felt like my daughter may be headed down that road. However, it wasn’t until the opportunity came to hunt for a woman turning 40 who could be an inspirational cover model, that Melinda came very much back on my radar and I watched the media clip of her interview on the David and Kym Show that I really connected with her journey and realised the full impact of how she is changing lives every day with her message. So what led to this beautiful young woman choosing to starve herself half to death? What were the signs and who was reading them? How did she emerge from this deadly disease and what is her message to young women who may be going through the same struggles? Melinda describes herself as an intelligent young woman who was in the top percent of her class in a competitive all-girls primary school. There was nothing sinister in her early years. She excelled at school and had a loving home environment. However, approaching her first year of high school she started to feel some anxiety. The transition from being the ‘biggest fish in the pond’, to being one in a sea of many talented students

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was devastating for Melinda’s confidence. Her expectations of continuing her high achievement were shattered and she chose to suppress all these negative emotions and put on a front to the world that all was well when it was seriously not well at all. “Nothing I did was ever good enough and I felt like a failure,” shares Melinda candidly. “I internalised all those feelings and by the time I got to Year 9 I was feeling quite worthless. There was a lot of peer pressure, as it was a very competitive environment and being a high achiever and perfectionist, I was hard on myself. This is when the dangerous dieting behaviours began.” Melinda describes how she covered up her eating disorder and how exhausting it was to maintain her positive front. “It takes a lot of energy to keep up an eating disorder and to lose weight. I hid my eating habits from my parents by lying to them and wearing baggy clothes,” reveals Melinda. “It’s a very secretive behaviour. Someone with an eating disorder feels so worthless on the inside but on the outside they project a confident and happy person. It is so deceptive. It took a long while for my family to see what was actually happening.” Melinda goes on to share the moment that it all changed for her. She was sitting on the steps of a church and a bridal couple came out. Melinda says that the bride looked so radiant and happy and she realised that she really wanted that for herself. Turning to her friend and said, “I don’t want to live this way anymore” and that was the start of her recovery. After two and a half years of hiding her behaviours, Melinda took the first steps towards her healing. Crucial to that process

was finding a counsellor who helped her to ‘peel back the layers and look at the triggers’, but there was a whole team involved in her recovery. “Overcoming anorexia as a teenager was the biggest challenge of my life,” shares Melinda. “It was a constant conscious effort to turn my mindset around and reframe my thoughts during recovery so that they became strong, positive ideals. I had to accept that the path I’d originally planned had changed forever, and find the courage and strength to create a new path.” Anorexia Nervosa is a serious psychological illness that needs treatment from a whole team of specialists. It is essential that anyone battling this condition get the help that they need as it can be lifethreatening. Melinda says that there are warning signs before the obvious body warnings of ill-health. Parents or grandparents should keep an eye out for consistent or recurrent headaches, complaints of feeling tired all the time, unexplained hostile behaviour, a pre-occupation or obsession with dieting, exercise or food preparation. She recommends that if your child appears anxious and has these symptoms that you should get help immediately and talk to them in a non-threatening way to find out what is happening. “As a parent your first course of action is to show your support to your child by keeping an open line of communication. Encourage them to talk about how they are feeling and let them know that you are there to support them,” says Melinda. “Above all avoid judgement statements. Simply validate that you are listening by sharing their concerns.” Finally at 40 | Life Begins


MELINDA IS DRESSED BY MOSS AND SPY PHOTOGRAPH BY JODIE ANNE PHOTOGRAPHY

Finally at 40 | Life Begins

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elinda is now a parent herself, so understands how challenging this can be for parents but also how crucial it is to your child’s survival. “I am a single parent and feel blessed to have a beautiful son, Flynn, who is 6. I love being a mum and Flynn and I have a deep and special bond. The sound of his laughter is one of the best sounds in the world! I also have wonderful friends in my life who I enjoy spending time with. I love barbeques that go all afternoon, the beach, picnics in the park, sunsets, sushi and romantic comedies. I have a motorcycle license although I’ve never used it! And I adore shoes, in particular stilettos. My friends joke that I can cartwheel in them!” shares Melinda. So what was the greatest learning for Melinda through this difficult phase of her life? “The greatest learning from my struggle with Anorexia is that even when we make plans, sometimes life has other ideas. It

what it took to recover. “Because anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any psychological illness, and I know intimately what it feels like to suffer from this devastating illness, I am passionate about spreading awareness to help reduce the incidence of disordered eating especially in young people. In a world where eight year old girls are being diagnosed with anorexia, and a quarter of children diagnosed are boys, there is so much more that needs to be done. In addition, when I was researching and interviewing for my third book Why Can’t I Look the Way I Want; Overcoming Eating Issues, I became aware of many other serious issues affecting teens. This is a time when bullying is on the rise and suicide is the leading cause of death in the 15-24 age group, which is why I wrote my fourth book It Will Get Better; Finding Your Way Through Teen Issues. This book highlights not only eating disorders, but many other serious issues affecting teens.” Melinda’s first two books are both about anorexia – the first is a fictionalized account of her story, the second explores how to recover. Her third book Why Can’t I Look the Way I Want; Overcoming Eating Issues was published in 2009 by Allen & Unwin and reveals the harsh reality of eating disorders

road. The other thing that stood out was that once the people I interviewed had recovered, they had an inbuilt set of coping mechanisms. I know myself, that the coping mechanisms I found through recovery have buoyed me through some tough times, such as when my marriage ended and more recently, when a close friend died of cancer.” Melinda’s message to young people going through this dark phase of their life is, “You don’t realise how rewarding and amazing life on the other side of recovery can be until you get there,” and she has recently set up a post-treatment mentoring program to mentor those who are coming out the other side of the recovery process to inspire confidence that they have enormous potential to rebuild incredible lives for themselves. Melinda’s fourth book It Will Get Better; Finding Your Way Through Teen Issues was recently published by Allen & Unwin. When she was in the research phase for Why Can’t I Look the Way I Want, it became increasingly clear that apart from eating issues, there were a myriad of other issues affecting teens, including cyberbullying, cutting, death of a parent, suicide, alcohol, family break ups and dealing with troubled friends. Many teens also confided to Melinda about being physically and/or sexually abused, sometimes even by their parents. She realised that with

THE GREATEST LEARNING FROM MY STRUGGLE WITH ANOREXIA IS THAT EVEN WHEN WE MAKE PLANS, SOMETIMES LIFE HAS OTHER IDEAS.” was a hard lesson, but I will always be grateful that I learned at a young age not to be too attached to my plans – and while it is important to have goals, it is also essential to be flexible and open, and flow with whatever unfolds.” For Melinda this knowledge that she now possesses has been transformed into a passion, a passion to help young people, teenagers in particular, overcome hardship and challenging issues so they can create the life that truly reflects their potential. “Having lost my teenage years to anorexia, I decided I wanted to turn that experience into something positive. I have always loved writing and when I reached my mid-twenties, I had the desire to write a book about what it is like to suffer from anorexia to help people understand what it feels like to struggle with self-destructive thoughts and behaviours. So I wrote a fictionalized account of my battle with anorexia from the point of view of a 15-year-old girl. From there my other books followed and I started speaking at schools to teens, and at forums to parents, carers, teachers and counsellors, about the dangers of dieting, the early warning signs and what it feels like to suffer from anorexia – the personal and emotional cost – as well as

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as well as insights into the recovery process and beyond. The information is presented in a funky, modern format to capture the reader’s interest, as well as detailing her journey through anorexia. Sixteen girls and one boy who suffered and recovered from an eating disorder were interviewed to give a detailed and honest account of the pain, the struggle and the process, and how recovery was possible. The book takes recovery one step further by outlining how these people went on to create happy and fulfilling lives postrecovery, to show that it is not only possible, but that life on the other side can be amazing. “During the research phase, every person I spoke to thought that an eating disorder would be the answers to all their problems,” reveals Melinda. “That on some level an eating disorder represented taking control of their life. However, once the eating disorder took hold, it took over their lives and became all consuming. People lost friends, relationships and the existence was one of misery and heartache. Although it is difficult to draw out common threads because everyone’s circumstances are so different, the one thing that stood out was that the eating disorder is about self-destruction, which is why recovery can be such a hard

all these other issues going on, teens are often conflicted and confused because many of these issues are not widely discussed or addressed. Many of them felt stuck, hopeless and lost. Others were already spiralling out of control to the point where they were stealing or getting into fights. “This book came to fruition after interviewing more than 50 people including teens, young adults, school counsellors, health professionals and psychologists. I also spoke to organisations such as Kids Helpline, the Inspire Foundation, the Butterfly Foundation, the Life Changing Experiences Foundation and Youth Insearch, to see what resources are available to young people in need.“ “My book not only exposes these issues with real life stories from teens in crisis, it also provides strategies to face and conquer these issues and includes expert advice, real life examples, practical tips, websites and many other supportive resources,” reveals Melinda. Melinda’s message is that although teens have enormous potential, many suffer from self-esteem issues and this can manifest as an eating disorder, or other destructive behaviour. She feels there is a need to Finally at 40 | Life Begins


DURING THE RESEARCH PHASE, EVERY PERSON I SPOKE TO THOUGHT THAT AN EATING DISORDER WOULD BE THE ANSWERS TO ALL THEIR PROBLEMS,” reveals Melinda increase the awareness of these issues so that teens realise there is a way through and that it is okay to ask for help. 2011 is Melinda Hutchings 40th year of life and she feels totally comfortable in her own skin. She has learned some hard lessons along the way and as a result, she knows exactly who she is. She feels a sense of peace and personal freedom that she didn’t have in her 20’s or early 30’s. “I’m excited about this next phase of my life!” shares Melinda. “How many women get to be on the cover of a national magazine for their 40th?” “My message to young people everywhere is, trust the voice that speaks from your heart and listen to what it tells you because this is the voice of love. Live your life from a place of ‘anything is possible’. Life is now, moment to moment, we have the opportunity to open ourselves to love, friendship, opportunities and the amazing potential that lies within us all. Never be afraid to stand up and stand out, because if you’re not living your full potential you are not immersing yourself in the glorious richness of life.” Melinda believes that we all have the power to choose to make positive decisions and be proactive in terms of our health and wellbeing. She feels everything in life is a choice and this is a really powerful concept. To Mothers, “Your daughters look to you for guidance and inspiration, and if you love yourself and love your body, this will assimilate in your daughter’s subconscious and have a positive influence on their body image.” To Daughters, “Never doubt yourself. Whatever your talents and passions, actively pursue the direction that is your truth and know that your family are your greatest support.” Finally at 40 | Life Begins

MELINDA IS DRESSED BY MOSS AND SPY PHOTOGRAPH BY JODIE ANNE PHOTOGRAPHY

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40 COMMUNITY

Heart of Gold Cover girl on the Perth White pages, Ros Worthington OAM is to receive an honorary doctorate from Murdoch University for her Charity Work. Having left school at 14 and with no formal education or qualifications, Christine Camp caught up with the passionate humanitarian on location in Bali, discovering the true heart of a philanthropist.

If

y o u did not know Ros Worthington, and sat down to hear her sad and compelling story of how at nearly 60 she does not own her own home or car and has less than $1000 in the bank, would you care or even listen? This recipient of the prized Medal of the Order of Australia, describes herself as one of the wealthiest women in Australia, declaring, “You don’t have to have material wealth to make a difference.” Over the 25 years of being involved in her charity work, millions of other people’s dollars have constantly flowed through Ros Worthington’s trustworthy entrepreneurial

honest heart. The pure innate kindness of others has also enabled me to have a roof over my head, a car to drive and invitations to wonderful experiences and destinations. Staying in Bali at the beautiful Rumah Cantik Bali Villas, is one of those occasions,” adds Ros, revealing it is the first proper holiday she has had in years. From balls in the bush to glamorous city events, the Ernst & Young Social Entrepreneur of the Year knows how to throw a charity party and create the dollars to make visions happen. As the first volunteer for the Make-A-Wish Foundation in WA, Ros singlehandedly set up state branches, and made hundreds of dreams come true for children

who are our future, to have a philanthropic heart and to pay it forward. Paying it forward means to give without expecting anything in return.” “To most people philanthropic means wealthy people giving money to people in need, and while this is one side of the coin, I believe that true philanthropy is giving with the heart. I am an expert at this because I don’t have financial wealth. I am blessed now to have wealthy philanthropic friends who support me in my many causes. In the beginning however, I relied on family and friends to help me as they still do today,” says Ros. Ros Worthington is now a highly sort

I focus on what I do have, not on what I don’t have,” says Ros. “The precious valuables in my life are my family, my passion for helping others and keeping my heart in a state of humility. These to me are the mantles that keep me grounded and moving forward.” hands, earning her the title of Queen of Charity.. So what’s Ros’s secrets that have made her so successful? “I focus on what I do have, not on what I don’t have,” says Ros. “The precious valuables in my life are my family, my passion for helping others and keeping my heart in a state of humility. These to me are the mantles that keep me grounded and moving forward.” “People often question why I wear beautiful clothes and jewellery, the truth is, designers and jewellers approach me and paying it forward, ask me to wear their designs which I accept with an open and

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with life threatening illnesses. Driven with a passion to support women with breast cancer, she founded the Breast Cancer Foundation of WA (now Breast Care WA) which is one of the highest profile and fastest growing charities in Western Australia. Her love of children then led her journey to founding the Love Angels Foundation, a charity that helps feed and educate underprivileged children. “Essentially, the Love Angels Foundation is all about kids helping kids,” says Ros. “It aims to get Australian children to reach out and help others in third world countries. It is not about money, it’s teaching our young,

after motivational and inspirational speaker. Her story is indeed compelling; however it is her compassionate heart and driven determination to help others that grabs your attention. So how does Ros Worthington make visions happen? “People can have a vision, and they can be visionary but the key to making it happen is by surrounding yourself with people who have a team spirit and who believe in what you’re doing. I also recognise in them the skills I don’t have to help make it happen. The other main ingredients are pure determination, passion and your compassionate heart that wants to make Finally at 40 | Life Begins


Finally at 40 | Life Begins

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through non traditional methods, like Feldenkrais. After these sessions I would sometimes feel very sick, knowing that I was dealing with my grief, which would pass in a couple of days. This was my personal path for two and half years.” “I reflect back on that time and I am filled with gratitude, knowing that I had the inner strength to believe that ‘this too shall pass”. They say that time is a healer, and I believe this, however the key is what you do with this time. Take all the time you need to grieve but know there does come a day, when you GRAZI LISCIOTTO, ROS WORTHINGTON AND PETER HUGHES must bravely step out and AT THE KHQ GOLF DAY move on.” we pulled together and did it.” Even as Ros Worthington relaxes by the “I just can’t do what I do without poolside in her villa in Bali, she is describing the people I put around me,” adds Ros. the 2010 Christmas lunch that she put on for “Everyone has a gift, gifts that I don’t have, the orphans of Bali Kids. This was financed and a true leader recognises what they can by one of her philanthropic friends and do and what their team are to do.” Christmas presents were donated by family Ros is also a great believer in working and friends. “I did not have the money to together, which can create an even more make this happen,” says Ros, “but it has powerful impact in our world. “I love working never stopped me from anything I have ever together,” says Ros. “This is why I like to done.” partner with other charities. Like the Kitchen “People think that money stops them HQ’s Golf day, where my team and I worked from making a dream happen or helping side by side with the Peter Hughes Burns others. It will never be about the money”, Foundation, to raise awareness and funds laughs Ros. ”If I had waited until I had for their charity and Life Line WA. We had money, I would not be where I am today. an absolute ball,” says Ros. “Volunteers met Some people have the vision and then others for the first time and the golfers (all men), make it happen by doing their bit. If everyone enjoyed a day out but were also given the gave a little of their time or effort, then can opportunity of hearing about depression and you imagine what sort of world we would how it affects families.” live in? Anyone can pay it forward and it truly Ros Worthington is a true blue Aussie would be heaven on earth.” with a heart of gold. She is a pioneer who According to Ros, visionaries come in not only dares to put up her hand and say all shapes and sizes and it has nothing to do “let’s do it”, she also goes with an attitude to with your personality type or what you do for conquer! And according to son, Tony, “just a living, or how much money you don’t have. get your wallets out when you see Mum It will always be about your passion and what coming”. motivates you to pursue your vision. On the personal side of this charismatic “Personally, I am more of a humanitian woman, is the perfect picture of true than a philanthropist or entrepreneur. It’s happiness. “True happiness is also looking about helping others and making a difference after your self and receiving the love, help, in their life that really motivates me. Like the support, kindness, and friendship from day I was sitting in my Breast Cancer Care others... It has only been in the last few years WA office, when a gentleman walked through that I have learnt to receive from others, just the door. He sat down with tears running as I give to others. True happiness is about down his face as he poured out the story of the balance of both,” which Ros adds, she his wife who needed a drug that was going to has in abundance. give her an extra 40% chance of surviving her “You can live your whole life and not cancer. The drug was going to cost $55,000, know what happiness is and I’m so glad that and his only option was to sell his home. I found this wonderful way of living my life. I I was deeply moved and this is where the need the love of my family, the friendship of crazy Ros comes in,” laughs Ros. “I reached my loved ones and the people who support over, and held his hand and with only $5000 my causes. Personally, I am rich beyond my in the bank at that time, I said we will raise wildest dreams.” the money to the get the drug and as a team www.rosworthington.com.au Finally at 40 | Life Begins

PHOTO COURTESY OF JEREMY ATLAN, DIRECTOR OF 3P PHOTOGRAPHY

it happen. It’s not easy and its hard work,” admits Ros. Ros also speaks highly of her family, who have been her champion supporters over the years of her charity work. “My family is the most important and precious thing in my life. Without the love and support of my family I would not fly as far as I do.” With all the accolades, which included Oprah Winfrey shortlist of people to meet in Australia, how does Ros Worthington stay grounded in her world now glittering with celebrity status? “HUMILITY,” states Ros. “True humility is always being true to yourself, and never trying to be someone you are not. It’s not about me, although I have been criticised by people who do not know me, that I am a serving person.” “The true philanthropic heart doesn’t get tangled up in what other people say and the tall poppy syndrome. If I listened, I could start questioning my belief in me and that’s when the vision will be diminished, so I don’t listen to them. I could let it hurt me, but I just smile to myself and know that what I’m doing and have been doing my whole life is truly giving with a humble heart, so while others may question my intentions I stayed focused on the vision and just get on with business.” Behind the beautiful smile of Ros Worthington is the kindness of a true Aussie spirited woman who is moved by the women diagnosed with breast cancer, the children dying with a life-threatening illness and the widows and orphans around the world. “These are the people that don’t have a voice or rights,” says Ros. Known for her loud voice, laughs Ros, she will speak out about causes where others have not stepped out. Her latest cause is speaking out about the stigma associated with depression and suicide, a mission that was inspired by a personal tragedy. Losing her husband and soul mate, Ross, to suicide 8 years ago has given Ros the strength and courage to step out again. She initiated The HelpMe campaign and has partnered with Lifeline WA in raising funds and awareness with breaking down the shame and stigma associated with suicide and depression. http://www.helpme.com.au/ “With the death of my husband,” says Ros, “I experienced an emotional breakdown. I lost my home and my business and I could not stop crying and I went into a terrible depression. The despair was so overwhelming, and while I was not alone because of the support of my family and friends, inside I was shattered and felt so deeply alone. It was such a black time in my life.” “However, because of my personal faith, deep down I knew I was going to come back. I had to grieve, which came in waves. I chose alternative ways to overcome my grief,


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40 INSPIRE

Been There Done That

For farmer’s wife, Jenny Stockings, jumping out of a plane at 54 is about as far removed from farming as you can get. About as different as her surprise invitation to dine at a royal banquet hosted by two princes whilst attending a sky diving meet in Jordan and transporting John Howard in the back of their van in France whilst touring WWI memorials. Kerrie Phipps shares Jenny’s extraordinary life as a ‘woman of the land’…

f

r o m 14,000 ft (over 4200 metres) above the regional city of Dubbo, Jenny Stockings hurtled towards the ground, strapped to one of Australia’s champion skydivers. She kept a grin on her face, having seen video footage of skydivers faces flapping about as they fall. “The smile on my face was purely vanity”, Jenny laughs. “I’d been warned by an experienced woman skydiver to ‘put your chin out and a smile on your face’ to avoid everyone laughing at your video.” So what makes a 54 year old woman decide to jump out of a plane? “My husband Ross had been jumping for 20 years and I’d decided I wasn’t getting any younger, and I had the opportunity to jump

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with Australia’s best,” confesses Jenny. When he started skydiving, Jenny was pregnant with her third child, and stood watching with baited breath, along with their other two children, aged 8 and 6. “I had no idea he’d ever do something like that, and had asked if we couldn’t just do something that we could do together, like tennis or going to the beach. He’d respond with ‘Been there done that’, so now I can say the same of skydiving,” she says with a cheeky smile. The burning question in everyone’s mind is whether or not it was worth it and if Jenny would do it all again? “I did enjoy it, especially once the parachute opened! It was really noisy in freefall, like being on the back of a motorbike,

but under canopy it was so quiet and I could look around, appreciating the view, it was just beautiful. I felt great, actually I remember thinking I feel 20 years younger. Perhaps instead of a facelift people could try a parachute jump. I don’t know if I’ll jump again, I have so many great opportunities because of Ross’s skydiving, such as going up in planes over the beautiful gulf of Aqaba in Jordan and over Canada and Switzerland. In much smaller planes, so it’s all closer up and more breathtaking than seeing it from a passenger airline. Helicopters and hot air balloons have also been part of the adventure,” shares Jenny. Two years after his first jump, husband Ross joined a parachute club a couple of hours from home, and Jenny was steeling Finally at 40 | Life Begins


herself for ‘Early Widowhood’ – the name of a book she’d been given by a relative – and didn’t read. So is Jennifer really a dare-devil? ‘Hardly’, she confesses. “As a teenager I loved to ride roller-coasters but pregnancy and the responsibility that follows certainly makes you more cautious”, a sentiment shared by many women. Farm life was very challenging for cityborn and bred Jennifer, a Sydney girl who once desired to be a teacher and then settled on nursing. Her career took an unexpected curve when she married a farmer from Gilgandra, Central West NSW, and plunged into the world of farming and country living. “I had so much anxiety to start with. I felt like I’d stepped into a man’s world. I often prayed for help, and a neighbour would ‘just pop in” and they’d lend a hand, for which I was so thankful!” confesses Jenny. Her first real obstacle was overcoming her fear. Learning to drive a car topped her fear list, which she needed to conquer to be able to work at the hospital in town. Then there was learning to ride a motorbike and then to drive a truck and tractor. Confessing a dislike of big machinery, Jenny summoned all her courage and says the first 10 years were the hardest as her husband ploughed all his energies into paying off the farm. However, every cloud has a silver lining and Jenny has discovered that she enjoys entertaining. “Hospitality is very common in the country – it’s ‘take me as you find me, don’t mind if there’s a mess’. It’s something I learned growing up, from church and Sunday school – and my parents who were renowned for it. There’s a scripture about ‘entertaining angels unawares’. I feel that every person God sends my way is important,” confides Jenny. Her hospitality, though very simple, has far reaching effects. When Ross met a tourist on a nearby road, who was motorcycling around Australia he invited him in for a cuppa. The man was so delighted that he offered to reciprocate if they were ever in Belgium. As Ross was never interested in going overseas, they didn’t expect to see their Belgian friend again, however several years later they landed in Europe and took up his offer, being chauffeured at breakneck speeds in his Mercedes. Their overseas adventures began following their involvement in Gilgandra’s re-enactment of the 1915 Cooee recruiting march to Sydney. With 21 other men, Ross Finally at 40 | Life Begins

Jenny has been able to achieve her dreams by encouraging and supporting her husband to achieve his” marched the 550km to Sydney in 1987, which was followed up in 1993 by a trip to England, Belguim and France to complete the reenactment. They visited the battlefields and cemeteries of WW1 to commemorate the 75th anniversary of the end of the war, along with a number of elderly WW1 veterans, their nurses and Australian officials. Jenny offered John Howard a seat in their van, but he insisted on sitting in the back on the floor with the other men. The travel bug was birthed, then the skydiving community introduced them to world meets, every two years in a different host country, including Switzerland, Jordan, Canada, New Zealand, Arizona, and Queensland. This community goes by the name POPS - Parachutists Over Phorty Society – which also includes SOS (Skydivers Over Sixty). For Jenny, traveling was the fulfillment of a secret ambition, having desired to travel as a young woman but having no-one to travel with. “It’s been a privilege to meet so many inspiring people who’ve overcome adversity; there’s Blind John, (the blind skydiver), and a skydiver from England who lost his legs to a landmine in Northern Ireland and has since become a world champion skydiver, and another skydiver who spent 3 years in a burns unit fighting for his life in the 1960’s. I’ve found that everyone has a story when you take the time to listen.” “I never thought I would attend a royal

banquet and chat with princes. In Jordan, two of King Hussein’s sons flew out to meet us and watch the skydiving. Their banquet was a wonderful experience, along with the camel rides and touring around Jordan and Israel. One gentleman told me admiringly that I was “a five camel madam” – but he probably said that to all the tourists.” “There was another incredible moment in Switzerland when I stood on a mountain with a few other women, watching the skydivers come in to land in the valley below – we burst into song “The hills are alive with the Sound of Music” – it was so impromptu and a fun, but breathtaking moment.” It seems Jenny’s life in the country has opened her eyes to opportunities and stretched her beyond her comfort zone, fulfilling her innermost desires. Jenny has been able to achieve her dreams by encouraging and supporting her husband to achieve his. For her, their vows and the scripture shared at their wedding, “What God has joined together let no man tear apart”, really have been the staying force in her marriage, helping her to get through the tough times on the land and supporting her husband in all their shared adventures. Despite the current challenges due to flooding in the Central West, Jenny loves her life as a farmer’s wife, although she’d sometimes prefer to be in town having a cuppa with friends rather than pulling her husband out of a bog!

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40 HEALTH

wild about By Susan Gianevsky

I

surprised myself when I listed this as my article for the March issue. I remember as a child being given mashed bananas on a little plate from my favourite tea set. Since then I have just loved bananas...they have remained a lifelong friend and whenever I run out of the house for the office, I grab my keys and I grab a banana. I watch my husband some mornings. He leaves with a banana in his mouth as he locks the door. I started to wonder about this. There must be something amazing in bananas as we keep coming back for more. I often watch my fruit bowl and it seems empty if there are no bananas in the bowl. I buy at least 10 each week and my husband, probably a man thing, comes home with 3. I give him that “banana eye look” as if to say you are kidding right. Within a few hours all the bananas have gone and I know that they go back as my number 1 fruit each time I visit the fruiterer. I have developed a wonderful relationship with Daniel, our fruiterer, and he assists me when selecting my fruit. As a fruiterer, he hears the whispers from nature, doesn’t he? I think there must be a language, unspoken, between fruiterer and fruit. Anyway, getting back to the nourishing banana... So what is so special about the bright yellow fruit that only 12 months ago were over $12 a kilo? Can you believe I still bought them at the highest price as I couldn’t go

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without having my banana each day? I have also been known to be in awe when I see a Banana tree. A bit like the Pomegranate tree. How lucky we are to have such nourishing fruit at our doorstep.

Bananas are • Calming •

Nourishing

Ease anxiety

Improve your sleep

B = bananas build healthy cells and support the building of muscles and protein synthesis

Reduce high blood pressure

Defend and heal against infections

A = abundant in many nutrients – potassium, phosphorus, magnesium, calcium, iron, selenium, manganese, copper, zinc..vitamin A, B1, B2, B3, B6, Folate, C, E and K

Assist with protein synthesis

N = night calm - assists with better sleep due to the potassium content and also reduces the risk of hypertension and stroke A = absolute nourishment even supporting pregnant mothers and infants N = natural sugars – 3 found in bananas – along with fibre – this explains the instant boost of energy when you eat a banana A = always respect and be mindful as the banana has made a long journey to get to you. Bananas were first found in the region of Malaysia. They then found their way to India dating back to the 6th Century BC. It was Alexander the Great who bought the banana back with him to the Western World. Next time you are having a banana, taste it and feel the nutrients as they enter your blood stream and be thankful that it is part of your daily nourishment.

I always think of my wonderful grandmother when I buy bananas. Along with the quince, banana was her favourite fruit. She must have known that bananas had so much potassium. My mother-in-law loved a banana roll and said this was one of her favourites. She too knew of the jam packed nutrition that lived in the banana. Next time you eat a banana witness how it makes you feel... HAVE YOU EVER PREPARED A BANANA MOON DELUXE FACIAL MASK? 1 tsp honey 1 banana 1 egg yolk 1 tsp lemon juice 1 tsp wheat germ oil Blend together and apply to clean face for 10 minutes avoiding eye and mouth area. Wash off with luke warm water and enjoy the nourishment this blend provides your skin. A natural face lift.

Finally at 40 | Life Begins


• Overindulging in rich or unhealthy foods? • Cravings for sweets? May also assist with poor digestion, nervous exhaustion & poor sleep.

Be Free™ is a homoeopathic formulation with the inclusion of Schuessler Tissue Salts.

AVAILABLE FROM HEALTH FOOD STORES For more information go to: www.befreenow.com.au Always read the label and use only as directed. If symptoms persist consult your healthcare professional. Finally at 40 | Life Begins

CHC41687-11/10

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40 HEALTH

Are your 40s really fabulous? Popular culture and Sex and the City would like us to think so. Women in their 40s are depicted as glamorous, successful, and sexy, all the while managing to juggle a career and a family because – haven’t you heard? – feminism is alive and well and women really can have it.

N

ow, let’s snap back to reality for a minute. For most 40-somethings, feeling sexy and glamorous on a daily basis is just not a priority. Described as the ‘sandwich generation’, women in this age group are often torn between caring for children (from babies to young adults) and ageing parents. The 40s are also a time that many women find their career really starts to take off and this comes with added pressure and expectations. It’s hardly surprising that the health nirvana of daily exercise and homecooked nutritious meals may fall by the wayside, not because we don’t care about our health but because there are simply so many demands on our time. Women in Australia are suffering from the ‘kilo creep’, gaining on average 700-800g a year. Doesn’t sound like a big deal, until you realise that 7-8kg over the course of a decade shifts many of us from a healthy weight range into the overweight category. It’s not hard to see why so many women feel their 40s are not-so-fabulous after all. But it doesn’t have to be this way! Women’s health experts are encouraging women to see their 40s as the perfect time to stop putting everyone else first and start taking care of themselves for a change. According to gynaecologist Dr Elizabeth Farrell, prevention is the key to healthy ageing. “The 40s are a time for women to focus on themselves and their needs and start putting into place their insurance policy on their health.” Basically, this means we need to start taking care of our health today

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so that we have a better chance to be healthy tomorrow. One way that you can do this is by having a free 45-49 year old health check-up which includes tests for blood pressure, cholesterol and blood sugar. This check-up is available from your General Practitioner (GP) if you are at increased risk of developing a chronic disease such as heart disease or diabetes. According to the Royal Australian College of General Practitioners, 89 per cent of women aged 45-55 have at least one risk factor for cardiovascular disease so if you’re between 45 and 49, chances are you qualify for the free check-up. Aside from general health conditions, women in their 40s commonly face health challenges caused by hormone fluctuations. Yes, it’s not just teenagers who are riding an emotional, hormonal rollercoaster – it’s their mums too! As women hit their 30s and 40s, their fertility starts to decline. Eventually, their periods start to become irregular and they may even experience some menopausal symptoms such as hot flushes or night sweats. This stage is known as perimenopause and it spans an average of 4-6 years leading up to menopause. The average age for women to reach menopause in Australia is around 50 years but the average range is 45-55, and even older or younger in some cases. As women approach menopause, their oestrogen levels fluctuate from one day to the next. This contributes to mood swings, irritability, anxiety, tearfulness, tension and feeling like you’re out of control. Perimenopause shares many of these symptoms with another hormonerelated condition – premenstrual syndrome

(PMS). The difference is that PMS usually only lasts for one week, once a month but perimenopause can last anywhere from 1 to 10 years. No wonder women in their 40s are feeling overwhelmed – some of them have had PMS for a decade! Given everything that’s happening in their lives and their bodies, it’s little wonder that many 40-somethings aren’t in the mood for sex. Loss of libido affects all women at some point in their lives, either in the shortterm (e.g. after the birth of a baby, during a stressful time at work, during a rocky relationship) or in the long-term. For some women, low libido isn’t an issue – as long as they and their partner (if they have one) are satisfied, then that’s fine. Mismatched libidos – where one partner wants sex and the other partner doesn’t – are a different matter and may lead to relationship problems down the track. Low libido can have a range of causes including physical, emotional, sexual and psychological reasons. You might be simply too tired, or living what sex therapist Dr Rosie King describes as an ‘anti-sex lifestyle’. “If you are so worn out and exhausted by the end of the day that sex is the last thing on your mind, take a look at your life – try to reduce your load – prioritise, delegate and prune,” she advises. In practical terms, this might mean making a conscious decision to leave the washing up for the morning and get an early night – think of it as adding your partner to your ‘to-do’ list. This method is most effective if you’re in a happy relationship and you enjoy sex – once you get going. The message that Rosie has for women is that it’s ok to have sex without initial desire, sometimes just loving your partner and Finally at 40 | Life Begins


GIVEN EVERYTHING THAT’S HAPPENING IN THEIR LIVES AND THEIR BODIES, IT’S LITTLE WONDER THAT MANY 40-SOMETHINGS AREN’T IN THE MOOD FOR SEX.”

wanting to show your affection is enough of a reason to have sex. Of course, there are sometimes physical reasons why women no longer enjoy sex. Pain, discomfort and dryness are usually caused by a drop in oestrogen and this may impact on a women’s libido in her 40s and beyond. Fortunately, there are a whole range of treatments and therapies available to help, from the trusty old KY jelly to prescription creams and medications from your GP. Seek advice from your health professional about the best option for you and don’t just put up with painful or dry sex. Both Liz and Rosie agree that above all, the 40s are a time for you to take stock of your life and make some decisions about how best to look after yourself in the decades to come. “It’s a time to educate yourself about your health and possible risk factors for disease. If you have any concerns don’t hesitate to seek medical advice,” says Rosie. Liz added, “I think the 40s are a time when women are establishing who they are and how they live. It is a great time to start preparing yourself for a healthy future. Women need to think about themselves Think about what a parent does for their children and start doing it for you. ‘Mother yourself’ is a great message for women.” Finally at 40 | Life Begins

To view the FREE online webcast ‘Making your 40s fabulous’ go to www.jeanhailes.org.au/webcast. Women can listen to health experts discussing the issues that affect women in their 40s, including hormonal changes, libido, physical changes, sleep, emotional health and the importance of maintaining health for the future. For more information, contact the Jean Hailes Foundation for Women’s Health tollfree on 1800 151 441. Published with permission from the Jean Hailes Foundation for Women’s Health. This information is not to be taken as personal medical advice and is not intended to substitute for the evaluation of your individual health condition by your personal healthcare provider.

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40 HEALTH

Urinary Tract Infections

Most women will experience at least one urinary tract infection (UTI) in their life, but did you know there are many simple ways to not only prevent their occurrence, but to treat them without resorting to antibiotics? Integrateive Medical Practitioner, Lisa Bennett, reveals the inner workings of UTIs…

U

Lethargy or incontinence in older people Fever, chills and abdominal pain may also

Most urinary tract infections are confined to infections of the bladder; these are termed cystitis.

CAUSES

• Pregnancy

Bacterial urinary tract infections (UTI’s) are most commonly caused by a bacterium common to the digestive tract called Escherichia coli (E. coli). It is usually spread to the urethra from the anus (opening in the back passage). Other bacteria such as Proteus, Klebsiella, Enterobacter, & or Strep faecalis, collecting within the urinary pathways & adhering to the mucosal wall can also cause them to occur. Other micro-organisms, such as Mycoplasma and Chlamydia, can cause urethritis in both men and women; however these micro-organisms are sexually transmitted so, when these infections are detected, both partners need medical treatment to avoid re-infection.

PREVENTION

rinary tract infections are a very common infection. They generally occur more frequently in women, babies and the elderly. It is an interesting fact that around one in two women and one in 20 men will get a UTI in their lifetime!

Whilst generally not life threatening they can cause severe pain & discomfort. There are other classifications of urinary infections, and these are named according to the site in which the infection occurs. Example: Urethritis –infection of the urethra; Cystitis – infection of the bladder; and Pyelonephritis – infection of the kidneys. Interstitial cystitis is again a different form of urinary complaint. It is a condition, in which the symptoms of infection are present, without any detectable infection. This is a more difficult form of the condition to manage.

TYPES OF UTI’S Most UTI’s are usually cystitis; i.e. confined to the bladder. Urethritis is a more rare form of UTI. If the bacteria/infection does spread up into the kidneys, pyelonephritis can occur. All UTI’s should be taken as a serious condition, especially in the mature or elderly person. They should be identified and treated very quickly, so that a mild infection does not develop into a more serious and even life threatening condition such as kidney failure and even death in very rare cases.

SYMPTOMS

A burning sensation when urinating Frequent need to urinate with little urine passed

A sensation of not being able to hold urine A feeling that the bladder is still full after urinating

Urine with a strong, foul odour and sometimes a dark brown/orange or red colour

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be present in severe cases

Pain above the pubic bone Possibly seeing blood in the urine

Urinary infections are always related to some cause, however the general health of the person does have a great deal to do with whether signs or symptoms develop, how long the infection hangs around for and how quickly it can effectively be treated. No one should have to be subject to repeated urinary tract infections. Some women may contract the infection from sexual intercourse, which can result in bacteria being pushed into the bladder via the urethra. The bacteria then rapidly reproduce in any stagnant urine left in the bladder. Other causes can be related to: • Obstruction- blockage • Diabetes - increased blood sugar (blood sugar thrive on bacteria) • People with a weakened immune system (Immune suppression) chronically ill/ unwell; causing a depleted immune system • A short Urethra – women have an

increased risk than males (10-20% of all women may have urinary discomfort at least once a year) • Hormonal Changes- these can ↑ or ↓ the likelihood of the bacteria sticking to the urinary mucosa walls

There are many ways to prevent, as well as treat UTI’s, without having to resort to antibiotics. Diet, hydration (the level of water we drink) and general health all impact the development, progression & resolution of the condition. Antibiotics may be needed in some situations, however all attempts should be made NOT to resort to antibiotics. This is because they can damage the lining of your intestine (hence further weakening your innate immunity) as well as displacing both good and bad bacteria that inhabit your gut. If antibiotics are used, then a course of pre and probiotics should be taken for at least 1-3 months post treatment. Good quality Probiotics are sometimes hard to come by, however your local health food store naturopath can lead you in the right direction.

TREATMENT Treatment always follows a correct diagnosis. Diagnosis is made from your doctor of other health professional via your presenting signs and symptoms, urinalysis, mid steam urine specimen. Treatment may vary depending on the person’s individual choices; however the ‘basic’ fundamentals need to be addressed. 1. Remove infection- use of anti infective herbs, diet with low sugar, low refined/ processed foods 2. Soothe irritated mucosa- demulcent herbs, tea and increase water/hydration status. Finally at 40 | Life Begins


Wear cotton underwear and loose, non-binding clothing that does not trap heat and moisture.”

3. Reduce likelihood of re-occurrence of infection via:

It is also recommended to drink this tea daily to strengthen and cleanse the bladder.

• pre/probiotics-urinary health herbs • Cranberry tablets - these can both prevent & treat infections

Uva ursi is a herb which has traditionally been indicated to help provide relief from urinary infection; as a diuretic and antiseptic (E.Coli).

• Blended herbal tablets - these can both prevent & treat infections

Echinacea and Baptisia boost the immune system.

4. Enhance Immune function- herbs such as Echinacea, and vitamins such as Vitamin C, Bioflavonoids and zinc. You will need to ensure adequate water in the daily diet. Drink a minimum of 8-10 glasses of water/day; up to 3lts (Or 30ml/kg/ weight). By increasing the amounts of liquids consumed - pure water and or herbal teas etc. Avoid all soft drinks, concentrated fruit juices, coffee and alcohol and spicy foods that can all irritate the bladder.

HERBAL THERAPIES Cranberry - Widely used in the prevention and treatment of UTI’s. Cranberry appears to lower the ability of E. coli to stick to the urinary tract lining cells. The amount and type of cranberry does differ and needs to be addressed. Whilst some choose to drink their cranberry, the amount that you really do need is so high (500mls 4xday), you will generally need to take a high dose tablet. Cranberry contains proanthocyanidins that prevent the bacteria (E.Coli) from sticking to the walls of the urinary tract. Buchu helps where there is burning. Goldenseal helps where there is bleeding, but should not be used long term. Marshmallow increases the acidity of the urine and thus inhibits bacterial growth. Finally at 40 | Life Begins

Herbal teas containing buchu, marshmallow or cornsilk provide and assist in the relief from the burning pain of cystitis, the addition of dandelion leaf also promotes the flow of urine.

PREVENTING THE INFECTION Nutritional Support and Lifestyle Factors Some women have found the following suggestions useful in reducing their risk of developing urinary tract infections: • Drink plenty of clean water to encourage frequent urination and flushing of the urinary tract. • Some patients find their cystitis is aggravated by foods and drinks such as alcohol, coffee, soft drinks and citrus, tomatoes, vinegar and artificial sweeteners, SO AVOID THOSE. • Treat vaginal infections such as thrush or Trichomonas quickly. • Avoid using spermicide-containing products, particularly with a diaphragm contraceptive device. • Practise good hygiene. Always wipe from front to back after going to the toilet, and be sure to urinate as soon as possible after you feel the urge, making sure you empty your bladder completely each time.

• Urinate immediately after sexual intercourse to flush out any bacteria in the urethra. • Wear cotton underwear and loose, nonbinding clothing that does not trap heat and moisture. • Go to the toilet as soon as you feel the urge to urinate, rather than holding on. • Empty your bladder after sex. Ensure good GUT health with Prebiotics These are substances that support Probiotics. They help the body eliminate the ‘bad’ bacteria, whilst assisting the ‘good’ bacteria to effectively adhere to the mucosa wall. Probiotics- These are ‘friendly bacteria that live in your stomach and intestines. They aide the immune system and improve the normal functioning of the stomach. By following a low sugar, low yeast and high fibre diet will help this. Garlic is a natural antibiotic and immune booster: 2-3 grams per day. Vitamin C and bioflavonoids have an immune boosting and antibacterial effect; 1-2 grams every 2 hours to have a local antibacterial effect. Keep this going for 3-4 days till infection has cleared; then reduce to a maintenance dose. Eating a balanced diet containing lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, and avoiding excessive dietary protein, will help to balance urinary acidity. Avoid yeast, bread, cheese, vegemite, wine and beer. b-Mannose can help prevent bacterial adhesion. This is present in Aloe Vera juice - 2 cups per day or d-mannose ½ teaspoon 3 times a day.

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Elegance 40 FASHION

Coast, Country, City...

Deep down we’re gracefully comfortable in our own skin, knowing ourselves, our ideals, and passions with an inherent wisdom... this is a time we can use our maturity to emanate a style unique to our own. Trace Davis covers styling for elegance.  

It’s

true our Cities culturally mirror European styling and move closer in step with the hub of the fashion world, though with a calm confidence we can learn to wear sophisticated, sexy styling wherever we are. Australia’s fantastic climate lends a certain grace to fashion with city living comfortably wearing twilight shades at any time of the year, while our coastal stretches drum a different beat with a relaxed code of sun-bleached whites, brighter shades of colours and sheerer fabrics. Out in the country, styling is easier when we adopt a tasteful blend of dress etiquette complimented by vibrant colours to stand the test of earthy reality. Change at our age is inevitable when it comes to fashion and at this time we may be a little sensitive with our image because of our ever-changing bodies and lifestyles, however, we can get through this with maturity and discover a fashion sense complimenting our newfound wisdom. If we experiment freely, we can then proclaim ourselves confidently in our new ventures with heartfelt strides, radiant with the confidence reflecting our lives lived so far. With each season new fashion styles are available to us, and it’s up to us to choose

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mossandspy.com.au

to work a little more diligently at our image. Taking the time and making the effort, with a little guidance, will create fashion styling that will suite our lifestyles to complete the well earned image of who we’ve become. There are so many of us who have already established truly stunning signature images and if we haven’t, there are talented image stylists that can help us learn our styling if we require it. The fun part is to join in the current fashion trend and give ourselves an added freshness or edge to our look. Then, with efficiency, we can go into any store and instantly know what will work for us or not. Rarely will we be surprised. The fact that we truly care about ourselves by including new fashion styling will be clearly evident and rewarded with those second glance looks. The ultimate goal is creating an image which becomes us, complementing our age whilst feeling luxurious while we wear it. When we find a quality garment piece or a fashion label that beautifully and effortlessly fits our bodies we’re well on our way. Enjoy this!  This new season reflects beauty and elegance, radiating from sheer flowing three quarter length dresses and figure hugging tailored outfits contouring our figures with a streamlined form. Pants that exhume luxury are wide-legged or when matched with

SHOES AND BAGS BY JOANNE MERCER Finally at 40 | Life Begins


Elegance is romantic yet mysteriously confident.

DESIGNER NARCISO RODRIGUEZ AVAILABLE IN MYER

layers, try leg-ins. Shoes to get into this season are full knee-length boots and ‘booties’ (ankle boots). Boots are as complementary to our look as pleasurably dainty pumps or laced up sandals. Wear these with opaque sheer ribbed tights for a new look, and don’t forget peep-toe hosiery. Accessories embellish our image with the vision of what is personal to us and how we like to feel. Finding an exquisite piece of fine jewellery is all part of the joy of wearing it, and while you’re looking, large designs of rings with thicker bands and hugely impressive stones are the new favourite. Earrings are still very important to complete the outfit, and what is divine to any outfit has to be Coco Chanel’s Camellia selection range of fine jewellery – big and wide is beautiful in jewellery. It seems many of us keeping our hair styles long, and where we can enhance this maturely is with beautiful hair clips complimentary to our jewellery. Favourite bags are unique to each of us and there is so many to choose from. What feels good to you, complimenting the colour of your outfit, will work. There are many new endearing tote bags coming out with Mulberry. Beautiful clutches are still an accessory to include with each new outfit. We’ve come of age... embracing elegant beauty and relaxed confidence where it’s only natural to let it shine.   Finally at 40 | Life Begins

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40 FASHION

Styling Conscious

HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY SOME PEOPLE LOOK STYLED AND ‘PUT TOGETHER’ FROM THEIR HAIR AND ACCESSORIES TO THEIR CLOTHING CHOICE AND COLOURS? OUR STYLIST, HELEN ROBINETT, EXAMINES STYLING FROM A ‘CONSCIOUS’ PERSPECTIVE.

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Finally at 40 | Life Begins


It’s

no fluke that some people have style and others just don’t. Some people tell me that style kings and queens are just born like that. I’m not buying it. What I know for sure is that this stuff is modelled from a very young age. If you’ve had great role models who have shown you the value of a good education, how to communicate and how to get yourself organised, congratulations! Our parents and teachers do their best to model what they can. Some of us are well skilled in some areas and leave the rest to chance. Same thing happens with an effective visual image and some sense of style. No one is born with it. It’s modelled and coached, for sure! Conscious styling is about being seriously conscious about how you are building your wardrobe to set yourself up for success. If you are in business, and more particularly, if you are in a service based profession this is crucial as your perspective client’s first impression forms a perception that communicates strongly WHO you are. Your ability to look like the brand of your business/ organisation will let the client know if you are the one they want to be doing business with. Elements of your grooming, choice of colour and accessories will send warning bells to your client as to the level of detail you will take in your dealings with them. If you are looking groomed and styled it will send the message that you will attend to the same level of detail with them in business. If you are running late, forgot your pen and neglected to press your shirt it will alert your prospective client to google someone else who might care a bit more than you do. A recent client gave me a gift of awareness this year. She very clearly communicated that she has ‘too much stuff’ in the wardrobe and was feeling quite overwhelmed about why she had made some purchases. This got me to thinking about why on earth this happens because over the past eight years I have discovered that most of us are wearing about 20% of our wardrobe. We wear that 20% over and over again. Why? Because it works, that’s why. So what’s happening with the other 80%? And how much of your hard earned cash is sitting there not earning its rent in your wardrobe? Dare you to do the math on that? Anyway, I reckon we evolve as style queens and kings for our business and personal lives. I see just as many women who are successful in their business attire and have no idea how to dress for a hot date. The biggest wardrobe issue for men and women is to discover how to do ‘smart casual’ well. They can present well Finally at 40 | Life Begins

FREEDOM

Fully conscious shopping. Bridging the gaps and creating a story that is uniquely ‘you’. $2-5,000 pa

OVERWHELM

Conscious high end boutique shopping. Quality + quantity = confusion. Too much stuff. $10-20,000 pa

DISCOVERY

Semi conscious department store shopping. Not really expressing your personal branding. $5,000 pa

TRAPPED

Unconscious Op shopping, thrift stores, cheap and cheerful. A wardrobe full of nothing to wear. $2,000 pa

for business and do the ‘real’ casual thing at home on the weekend but they lack the knack of the smart or business casual for dinner with friends, a work conference or casual Friday. All this leads to the development of the ‘conscious styling evolution model’. Here’s how the model works. Start at the bottom in ‘trapped’ and move your way up: Can you see where you are? Are you feeling uncomfortable or are you in sheer delight because you recognise that you have already reached the freedom zone? Is your current wardrobe in alignment with the goals you have set for yourself for 2011? If not, now is a very good time to take stock and re-assess the action you need to take to step up a level. Most people are hovering about in Discovery and some have found their way into Overwhelm where they are absolutely and utterly confused. The goal is to move you into the Freedom zone and this can be achieved in a relatively short pain free period of time. Oh you will experience a little discomfort as you become conscious of how much you have been sabotaging yourself, but this will pass very quickly as you journey on to the freedom zone. Jane has recently completed a wardrobe session. Her last session was a few years ago and the purchases made were great for where she was at then. She is now in a senior position for a training company and about to take on a role where she will have quite a public profile. Her life has changed and the wardrobe is no longer reflective of who she is. Jane admitted that she just kept going back to the same shop because it was ‘easy’. I get it! The thing is that we evolve as human beings and our needs change. Keeping a current and fresh image matters. It matters quite a lot.

I built a list for Jane. Some of what she had in that wardrobe is still quite good. Some of it just had to be retired. She got busy with life and just kept going back to the same store to buy more of the same stuff she was buying before. Not a bad idea initially. It’s easy isn’t it? No need to think too much or put in the legwork to find the pieces to compliment the wardrobe more effectively and make the other pieces work a bit harder. Now you might be thinking, seriously how could she not have got that handled on her own???? Easy, most of us are just too darn close to our own stuff. Hence the reason I hire an image professional to check out my wardrobe each year in line with my goals of who I want my clients to be and where I see my business heading. Someone else always sees the stuff that you don’t. Even better when you hire a professional to get this stuff handled for you. Besides that, you can probably claim it as a tax deduction depending on your work. Where is Jane at now? I set her up with the right boutiques to bridge the gaps for exactly the pieces she was missing in her wardrobe. I gave the boutique owners the heads up on what Jane needed and then I checked in to see that she was happy. She knows where to go now for the perfect pair of jeans and a summer sandal that will fit with her lifestyle. Her hair colour has just been changed to a deeper shade and she has refreshed her make up with the Image Quest make up stylist. In a nutshell, Jane feels great. She was fine before, but she has stepped up a level now and her confidence has soared. She got really clear that a wardrobe refresh needs to be an annual event and has asked me to diarise to call her to rebook at the end of 2011. Too much money wasted on stuff that was not serving her as she progressed professionally. How are you going?

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40 FASHION

Are You Fully Conscious of your Personal Styling? Don’t do another thing until you have actioned these 10 steps!

1. 2.

Eliminate If it’s dated, in poor condition, no longer fits or is just not you anymore, make it redundant now. Make space for a new, more confident and energised you!

3.

Create a shoe boutique Turn all shoes to face you, just like a shoe boutique really. Then spray your shoe cupboard with something gorgeous like Planet Ark’s Orange Power with lemon myrtle. Make it a visual and sensory experience that will delight you.

4.

Go undercover Head to your lingerie store and get yourself fitted with a new bra. Toss the lingerie that no longer supports you and consider a little help in the shapewear department. Create a foundation that will ensure your garments fit superbly and lift your confidence.

5. 6. 7.

Heads up Off to your hairdresser (or perhaps it’s time for a new one?) and update your hairstyle. A minor change can have a major impact on how you feel and keep you looking like you belong in 2011.

Visual Merchandise Upgrade your coat hangers. Jackets, skirts and pants like the wooden variety to give them the support they need. Hang pants from the hems. You will find them at Coles or Safeway. Ikea have them as well. All your other garments will love the solid plastic hangers. This will have you feeling like you are shopping in a boutique. You made the garment purchase because you loved it in the store, so now create that at home and love it in your wardrobe too.

About face Book a make up lesson and learn some new tricks. As we advance in years, keeping up to date with new techniques and products is essential. Confidence Stop and think! Is your current wardrobe serving you for your career and life in 2011? Which outfit do you feel most confident in? Which one do you feel compromised in? Dressing to your optimal level will be crucial to your success in business and life for this year.

8.

Signature colours Discover your very best signature colours and use them in accessories, tops, jackets and everything close to your face. Excellent for rapport building, trust and credibility in business.

9.

Style expression Bring your style expression into your outfits every day. It will leave you feeling quietly confident and communicate visually to prospective clients exactly who you are. Fast tracks rapport building.

10.

Fabric Find your most flattering fabric weight, drape and texture. Use it effectively to balance your proportions and create illusion to trim kilos or create them.

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Finally at 40 | Life Begins


EntEr & Win and you could bE thE nEW facE of SourcE of bEauty

australian based Source of beauty, supplies professional salon quality beauty products to the public. With a new Mineral cosmetic range about to launch, we are on the hunt for a face. We want a graceful, mature aged woman, and they will not necessarily be the most beautiful. our perfect face will epitomise our 40’s plus clients, so we encourage all women aged 40 and over to enter. fabulous prizes to be won, including Mineral cosmetics, Skincare & nail care Products, plus a portfolio of images taken by a professional photographer; the experience of a lifetime...

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Finally at 40 | Life Begins

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40 MALE

YOU’RE NOT

DEAD YET!

If you asked the average woman to imagine a male over 40, I think most visualise grey hair, a spreading midrif and mid life crisis. However, there are a growing number of males that are in tune with their bodies and life and are leading the way towards a long and healthy lifestyle. Author David Beard is just one of these and Hayley Solich reveals his passion, purpose and positive attitude to life. eeting David for the first time at the National Speakers Association in Perth, I was immediately impressed with his energy and zeal for life, all contained in a very Australian, earthy, surfy male aura. Then we met by chance at a small business mentoring group, and his genuine passion for life struck me again. So when we were looking for a male to feature, I immediately thought of David, as I knew he was a shining example of what is possible no matter your age. David simply is not your run of the mill bloke. Even his job title is a little extraordinary, being ‘Exercise Physiologist’. I have to confess that I laughed selfconsciously when he told me and asked awkwardly, “And what is an exercise physiologist exactly?” because I am embarrassed to confess I was clueless. David responded, “Essentially, an Exercise Physiologist is someone who is trained to work with people who are suffering from a musculoskeletal or metabolic condition. This includes conditions such as diabetes, arthritis, heart disease, stroke or some neuromuscular disease. They also work with people who are at risk of these conditions.” Digging a little deeper, asked how he had ended up in this field. David responded, “I went to University with the intention of becoming a Physical Education teacher. Half way through my degree I became much more interested in how exercise and fitness impacts on people’s health so I pursued more

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studies and a career in Exercise Physiology.” Brought up to speed, I was intrigued to know more. So I asked David to share a bit more about his work. “I personally have worked a lot with older adults who don’t necessarily have a medical condition but who have got unfit, frail or weak due to an inactive lifestyle. There is so much evidence now that exercise is the most potent defense we all have against the ageing process. In fact it should be called the inactivity process. I see people in their 70s, 80s and 90s who are more active and more capable than some 30 and 40 year olds who lead sedentary lives. I hate to think where they will be in 20 or 30 years if they don’t get moving,” responded David. With a strong history of involvement in a number of different sports including competing in Triathalons whilst studying for his Masters’ Degree in the United States, David really came to appreciate the importance of exercise and staying fit as people get older. “I was working in the University of Arizona’s Adult Fitness and Cardiac Rehab programs where people were trying to regain their health. Some of the clients were heart transplant patients and others were very overweight and unfit. Their poor health had such a negative impact on their life and their families. I realized how much easier it was to stay fit and healthy and vowed I would rather work to maintain my fitness than lose it and have to try and get it back again,” shares David. David’s passion is not just for others, he

lives what he preaches. His daily routine goes something like this… “My day starts early. I find it’s the best time for me to do my exercise. It gets me in the right frame of mind to tackle whatever the day presents. I figure my exercise is probably going to be the hardest thing I do each day, so if I get up and do it I know the rest of the day should be manageable.” “After my exercise and breakfast I am either off to my two-day a week consulting job or starting work at home. I run my health and speaking business out of my home office 2-3 days per week. I’m lucky to have the balance of a regular part-time role and my own business. It’s a challenge sometimes with so many different things going on but I’d get bored if it was too routine. I get to travel a bit but not so much that it is a drag.” “I try to get home in the afternoons to do 15-20 minutes of strength training in my home studio a couple of days a week. I find it helps me relax after a busy day and it makes my cycling and swimming so much easier being that bit stronger. Everybody should do some strength training at least once a week just to maintain their muscle mass,” shares David. Immediately I start thinking of the sedentary life I spend as the Editor of a magazine and running my own business which requires a lot of sitting in front of a computer and am feeling challenged. So I turn the tables and ask David about his children and how being a father has impacted his life. “Being a father is a great privilege and Finally at 40 | Life Begins


I REALIZED HOW MUCH EASIER IT WAS TO STAY FIT AND HEALTHY AND VOWED I WOULD RATHER WORK TO MAINTAIN MY FITNESS THAN LOSE IT AND HAVE TO TRY AND GET IT BACK AGAIN,”

Finally at 40 | Life Begins

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40 MALE also a great learning curve. I’ve realized how much kids copy what their fathers do so I am very conscious of being a good role model. I don’t push my sons to exercise or play sport but they see me getting up every morning to go for a ride or swim. I am sure in years to come, they will start doing the same, not because I told them to but because they think that is the normal thing for an adult to do. I think we underestimate how much our kids copy what we do, even later in life. I hope to be a good role model even when I am in my 90s and beyond,” reveals David. My curiosity getting the better of me, I just have to ask David what he thinks is the best part of being a male over 50 to which he responds… “By 50 a lot of the competitiveness that exists between males is mellowed so while I still enjoy exercising and doing things with my friends I don’t feel the same pressure I did when I was younger. I actually enjoy my exercise more now that I am doing it for my own health and satisfaction than I did when I was competing.” “At 50, I’m fitter and leaner now than I have ever been. Having a good fitness base from years of regular exercise means that I can do all the things I want to without fear of hurting myself. Having said that, by 50 I’m not worried about competing with others so I don’t put myself under pressure like I did when I was younger and competing in sports and triathlons.” “Being fit is also an advantage when I want to do things with my teenage boys. We go surfing together on holidays and play the occasional game of squash. I can still hold my own,” says David with a smile. So what has been David’s greatest learning in life? “I think I have learnt that consistency is the key to long-term success. Whether it is studying, achieving your career goals or health and fitness, it is the things we do every day that make the difference. Anyone can put in a big effort for a short period of time, like cramming for exams, but long-term success means building habits that move us forward toward our goals,” shares David. I can’t resist asking with a giggle, “What kinds of excuses have you heard for not exercising and how do you overcome these objections with your clients?” to which David responds… “By far the biggest excuse is time. I point out to people that it is much safer to use 30-60 minutes a day now to avoid poor health than risk having to spend days, weeks or months trying to get their health back in 10 years time.” “I also point out that one of the mistakes the fitness industry has made over the years is telling people to go out for 45 – 60 minutes

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of long slow walking or jogging. We now know that it is intensity of exercise that is important so you only need to do short bursts of higher intensity exercise to get even more benefit. Once someone has reached a reasonable level of fitness, 20-30 minutes a day is all that is needed. That’s about 2%.” “Some people try to tell me that it is too late for them to start exercise but I have seen some remarkable achievements and improvements in people in their 90s. Our bodies are designed for movement so no matter how old you are the physiology in the cells and muscles is still ready to spring into action. We just have to not let our heads talk us out of it. “ “Some people tell me they don’t like exercise because it hurts. My response is that it is supposed to hurt a bit. If it didn’t, it wouldn’t be exercise! Actually, it shouldn’t hurt but it should be uncomfortable. You only get fitter when we push yourself out of your comfort zone and the fitter you are the more you can do before it gets uncomfortable,” explains David. As a woman in her 40’s, I decide to throw caution to the wind and ask for some advice on what I and others my age and over should consider in relation to taking up exercise? “Most people are too conservative in their exercise advice for people once they

get past 40. People are told to only exercise at a moderate intensity; don’t push yourself too hard. The problem with this advice is that people don’t actually get any fitter and I think this is one of the reasons people give up. They are out there putting in the time but they don’t get the results they wanted and they don’t feel any different.” “Exercise intensity is relative to one’s fitness and to get fitter people need to push themselves to the point that they are a bit puffed and that their muscles are a bit sore the next day. That’s normal, and just the body’s way of responding to the exercise. Researchers working with very old athletes are realising that they can do and tolerate a lot more than most people think,” reveals David. With a small purple table book in my hands with a fun cartoon figure on the cover I am intrigued as to how the book David has written came about. “I worked in the Aged Care industry for 12 years. During that time I learned some really valuable lessons and I thought it was a shame that younger people didn’t know some of these things before they got old. So I started writing down the things I had learned. Eventually I had enough that I put them together into my book, which is written for people as young as 25 and as old as 105. Finally at 40 | Life Begins


Younger readers comment that they are glad they learnt this now and older people get a chuckle and can appreciate the messages. I’ve had lots of people buy a copy for themselves and then come back to get more copies as gifts for family and friends,” shares David. In closing, I ask that question that we are all waiting to know…What’s next for David Beard? “I’ve got a few things in the pipeline,” David responds. “One little project is to write a book or booklet that gives parents some guidance in raising fit kids. The current trends in childhood obesity are frightening. We are seeing kids as young as nine showing changes in their arteries that were once only seen in middle aged men. I believe that if you want to change children’s behaviour, you have to change their parents behaviour first. The book will hopefully help parents design healthy lifestyles for them and their kids. I might not see the results for many years but if we don’t do something soon, many parents today will outlive their own kids,” says David. David has one inspiring message for the world… “Staying fit is easy. Getting fit takes some effort. And getting your health back takes a lot of work and probably a lot of money. So take the easy path and just stay fit and healthy in the first place. And if you want some great advice from people who have lived long and healthy lives… read my book and buy your friends a copy so they don’t all die on you!”

WIN

A COPY OF DAVID’S COFFEE TABLE BOOK, “IF ONLY I’D KNOWN I’D LIVE THIS LONG”!

Women Over 40 Tea is a specially selected herbal tea blend rich in phytonutrients and assists women in maintaining their balance and radiance over 40 and beyond. This tea is focused to support hormone balance, sexual vitality, and rejuvenation of the entire endocrine system and nervous system.

If I’d only known   I’d live this long...

Simple (ps on health, fitness and life that   everyone should know before they get old by David Beard 1

Visit www.finallyat40.com. au and click on the competitions tab, then David Beard’s Book and simply tell us in 40 words or less what one step you could take to improve your health today.

Recommended by Naturopaths & Health Care Practitioners

Finally at 40 | Life Begins

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40 MALE

Oh, what a tangled Web we weave –

Online Dating STEVE WILKINSON TACKLES THE DIFFICULT TOPIC OF ONLINE DATING FROM A BLOKES POINT OF VIEW…

I

must say I thoroughly enjoyed reading Suddenly Single Susan’s recent column about the deceptive online dating game. And although I feel for SSS and understand her frustrations, to provide a balanced view I felt it was important for me on behalf of my bros to weigh in on the discussion. Before I get started, there’s something I need to make clear. Around the time this magazine goes to print, I’ll be celebrating a minor miracle - my 20th wedding anniversary; so I’ll concede asking me for advice on online dating is akin to asking Uncle Fester or Lord Voldemort for hair and beauty tips. In fact, to say I’m rusty in the wooing department is a gross understatement. Sure, woo-hooing is still something I practice at the footy when the cheer girls emerge from the tunnel, but wooing women… well, I really have no idea. Customarily at this point in my column I’ll launch into a flimsy uninformed opinion piece, but not this time. Once I’d made the decision to tackle this weighty subject I resolved to do something even more foreign to me than the foreign movies featuring Helga and Inga I keep hidden under my bed: I decided to do some r-e-s-e-a-r-c-h. And whadd’ya know - it paid off. Before long I’d discovered a mate who, unbeknownst to me, had already zigzagged his way down the twisted online dating path. This is his story. Curly (name changed to protect his fragile male ego) is a typical knockabout Aussie bloke now living in a relationship with Shirley (not her real name either. She didn’t ask me to change it but I did anyway because Shirley rhymes with Curly and I thought it sounded way cool). According to Curly, he met Shirley about 14 months ago on a popular Australian dating site. He’d told me they’d hooked up on the dance floor of a 30+ nightclub. Honestly, I should have known he was lying: to watch the guy dance, you’d swear he’s trying to shake a hungry iguana from the leg of his trousers, and after about 6-8 beers - as was customary for Curly before busting any moves - he talks and dribbles as if he’s just emerged from a dentist’s chair. But, I digress. Apparently Curly, after three years of single life and approaching forty, faced with the growing realisation the drunken dribble and swagger nightclub routine wasn’t working for him, reluctantly turned to the internet. Curly’s initial thoughts when confronted by pages and pages of beautiful women was to flee - get outta there alive and go back to his old ways. But to his credit he stuck at it and soon became emboldened enough to send some virtual kisses in the direction of a few candidates on his shortlist. He hoped they’d return the favour and initiate a conversation thereby removing the necessity for him to

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reach into his own pocket and become a paid member (So not only is Curly a dancing dynamo and borderline alcoholic, he’s tight as well yep, quite a catch!). Anyway, Curly’s flirting eventually led to some fully-fledged dating. Of course, he said, there was the usual deception – photo retouching and the like – but the thing he found most frustrating was not the anomalies with pictures and description, but the jumble of acronyms he was forced to decipher in order to determine whether he even wanted to meet face-to-face. “Such a simple thing,” he explained, “made needlessly complicated”. In fact he reckoned ASIO’s top code breakers would struggle to make sense of the BS he had to contend with. For example, he said to me, “Steve, did you know GSOH does NOT mean Good Set of HOOTERS?” “Get out!” I said. “Yep, it’s true.” Then he said, “And NS stands for Non-Smoker and NOT NON-SHOPPER!” Crikey, I thought – that’s a big one. After all, nonshopper would be at the top of any bloke’s list of desired attributes for prospective partners. And there were many other equally baffling acronyms, e.g. WLTM does not mean, Would Like To MATE and BMW does not necessarily indicate the affluence of the other person and can actually mean, Big Muscly Woman. Not that there’s anything wrong with that but as Curly explained with a shiver, “It would have been nice to have been forewarned then perhaps I wouldn’t have been crushed in her bulging biceps embrace.” Finally, after much patience and persistence, a few broken hearts and ribs, Curly eventually got lucky. And Shirley, well… she got Curly. To wind up, I’ll leave you with a few motivational words from Curly and I hope SSS is reading along because Mr Right may be just one more virtual kiss away. Curly’s advice for those contemplating their online dating debut: “Be prepared for a few surprises, delights, disappointments and awkward moments - but hang in there.” “Do your research, break down the acronyms letter by letter, and even then - PWEC (Proceed With Extreme Caution); because in your quest to track down that elusive TDHM (Tall, Dark and Handsome Man), despite your best efforts, there’s still a very real possibility you’ll wind up faceto-face with a Tiny, Desperate and Horny Munchkin and you’ll need to be prepared to POQ (shouldn’t need to explain this one).” Me, I’m glad I’m married. This online dating game sounds like too much hard work. But then again, it worked for Curly and Shirley, and although it’s early days, judging by their split watermelon smiles when in each other’s company it seems the pleasure of getting it right makes the teething pains tolerable. HH (Happy Hunting)! Steve Wilkinson Finally at 40 | Life Begins


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40 MONEY

HOT BUYING

&

SELLING TIPS

SUSANNAH ANDERSON, MANAGING DIRECTOR OF BOUTIQUE AGENCY, DI JONES REAL ESTATE, SHARES SOME HOT TIPS FOR BUYING AND SELLING PROPERTY VIA AUCTIONS.

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hen it comes to real estate, many people - whether buying or selling – find themselves involved in the auction process. Susannah says that in the current market, auctions might just be your best bet for both buying and selling. “The market is patchy right now,” Susannah says. “We have entered a phase in the property market where it’s neither a buyer’s nor a seller’s market. It’s about as unpredictable as it has ever been”. Susannah has a few tips to help you make the most of your auction experience.

FOR VENDORS:

FOR PURCHASERS:

Do the auction circuit. Attend some on-site and in-room auctions to get a feel for how the auction process works so that you are comfortable when you’re in the auction room for your own buying purposes. Keep in mind that there is no better time to buy than when the vendor is in the auction room, primed and ready to sell.

Don’t be scared to bid if no-one else is bidding. It’s too easy to be led by other’s actions within an auction environment. The trick is to trust your instincts and keep your eyes on your own boat. If you like the property and have a good idea of what you are willing to pay for it, then go ahead and make a bid!

Talk to the agent prior to the auction date if you’re particularly keen on a property. Many vendors are open to pre-auction offers. We are seeing around 50% of properties reaching a sale agreement before going under the hammer!

Invest in a pre-auction campaign to maximise your chances of selling prior to an official marketing campaign. In this early stage your agent will take buyers from their database through and your property will be advertised online before the print campaign takes place. This could mean an early, easy sale for you with reduced marketing costs, and at the very least, it will increase the length of your auction marketing campaign without overexposing the property. Do your research to make sure you have a good understanding of market prices and auction sales results for similar properties. You want to go into a campaign with realistic expectations and an educated understanding of what your property should sell for in the current market. Presentation is imperative – except for the odd exception, a well presented property will sell faster and for a higher price than a seemingly neglected and poorly presented one. Spend the time and money refreshing your property before starting the auction marketing campaign. First impressions matter. Give the walls a lick of paint, steam clean the carpets, dust the blinds, clean the windows and remove the clutter. Sprucing up has always been the golden rule when it comes to successful selling. That is not about to change now. 

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40 CAREER

Finding Your

Hidden Gold YOUR TRANSFERRABLE SKILLS COULD INCLUDE:

A

re you yearning for a new career challenge? Whether it’s turning 40, having more spare time in the day or a change in personal circumstances, there is often a point in our lives when we look to refresh our career. We may never have taken a career break, may have chosen to be a stay at home mum or have no kids, however regardless of our background, a change of career direction is not easy and requires thought, reflection and planning. As this new chapter of our life begins, our head may be full of ideas as well as worries, but a logical and systematic approach makes it easier to find a rewarding career path and Sarah Singer will now show you where your gold is hiding… One of the most important first steps in your new career journey is to identify your transferrable skills, ie those skills acquired during any part of your life that can be applied to your next job and this is your hidden gold. Think this through carefully and don’t dismiss anything instantly – over time we have all picked up skills, many away from the workplace. Our life experiences often unearth those skills which we never realised we had or knew we enjoyed using. Perhaps you are involved with the Parent/Teacher Association, help with fundraising or organising school events? Or possibly you do voluntary work in a different capacity, are active on other charity committees or involved with community projects? You may have a natural flair for one of your hobbies or interests, or maybe your life as a mum has taken multitasking to a new level! Were you instrumental in negotiations for your house, interviewed builders and then managed the building project? Maybe you successfully coach one of your children’s sports teams or you manage your household finances? Add all these life experience skills to your past job skills and you will be amazed how many transferrable skills you have. A good starting point is to conduct a self-assessment which will help identify all your transferrable skills. Start by listing all your job/ life experiences and then write down the skills used for each. Next, rate your ability in each of those skills as either beginner, experienced or advanced. Finally tick those skills you enjoy using and would be keen to apply in a new job.

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› Organisation & Planning › Fundraising › Delegating › Motivating › Dealing with difficult situations › Managing complaints › Childcare › Multitasking › Time management › Negotiating › Interpersonal › Leadership › Patience › Emotional Intelligence › Writing › Record Keeping › Interviewing › Public Speaking › Budgeting › Financial Planning › Foreign language › IT Once you have established your transferrable skills, the next step is to evaluate those additional considerations that will be factors in your career choice:

 

Do you want to or would you be able to start your own business? Would you prefer a job offering the option of working from home?

Do you need to retrain in any areas or have your skills formally been recognised?

What are your restraints? eg working hours, distance and travel, school holidays, childcare?

What are your financial needs?

Finally, you can generate career ideas, assessing each for their suitability in terms of your skills set and the additional considerations. If no career or business idea is immediately apparent, spend time looking through job websites and reading the newspaper career sections to give you ideas of what options are out there. Just remember, a career change is not going to happen instantly. It will take time to find a job or develop a business plan, especially if you also have family commitments. However, remain positive and look to what lies ahead as an exciting challenge, a chance to find a role with fulfilment and an opportunity to utilise your transferrable skills.

Finally at 40 | Life Begins


1300 Pro Health For Women Starting out as a young woman in the workforce, Shery Phillips had a dream of owning and running a chain of hairdressing salons. It was as Sheryl was living her dream that she noticed her health started to deteriorate. She developed skin rashes and breathing difficulties. Whilst investigating her condition, Sheryl went through many doctors who were baffled by her condition, as her hands were cracking and bleeding and her breathing was becoming more subdued.

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Finally, Sheryl was referred to a specialist who performed a number of tests, including an xray of her lungs which revealed they were damaged and that her body was experiencing a toxic overload to the point that her health was really in a critical state. The toxicity Sheryl realised was caused by the many years of hairdressing using chemicals and also her own household’s cleaning products. She realised that every day she had contact with some chemical or other, whether it was from her clothes that had been washed, or her benches that had been wiped, or even the fruit that was eaten without being washed properly. With an order to detoxify her life, Sheryl faced the daunting task of a career change and a household detox, making the switch to non-toxic, natural and organic supplements and cleaners. This change didn’t happen overnight, but it did happen and with it the benefits experienced were tangible, with an increased ability to live each day abundantly, passionaly and more importantly, in good health. A further benefit was the birth of 1300 Pro Health for Women, a distribution business that specialises in natural and organic products that are safe for the whole family. Sheryl would like to encourage all people everywhere to consider how their bodies are being affected by the toxic chemicals that surround our lives and to make the decision to go natural. As women, we are responsible for our own health and wellbeing and what we bring into the home for our loved ones. You just never know when it could be you that is battling chronic illness because of chemical toxicity in your body, so it is better to be safe than sorry.

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{www.finallyat40.com.au} XX.

©Lumiere Portraiture


40 ART

The Model Artist

What inspires Queensland based artist and Champion for Vocational Education, Selena Smith? Hayley Solich reveals all in this peak behind the canvas.

S

elena Smith is used to uniforms, after all, her husband is a serviceman. However her uniform is far removed from the rigid standards of the military. Her uniform of choice is her artist’s smock, pallet of paint and brush, which allows her to bring to the canvas those things that inspire her in every day life. But she is equally as comfortable donning her public speakers outfit, acting as a Champion for Vocational Education and inspiring others to consider further education. “Today Selena Smith is an artist, but I am also a mentor, role model, motivator and public speaker. And we must not forget that I am a wife and mother,” says Selena. As we look into Selena’s life, we learn that subconsciously Selena has always been an artist, enjoying bringing colour to her immediate surroundings, whether it was covering her books for school or helping to paint the walls of the kindergarten. However it was not until 2003/2004 that she formalised her intentions by attending TAFE for a couple of semesters.

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“Age is no barrier to learning. I was in my mid 30’s when I commenced training as an Artist,” reveals Selena. “And when I started I had no idea that I would win the vocational training awards and be North Queensland Student of the Year. I certainly didn’t foresee that I would be chosen to be an ambassador for the Vocational Education System and hitting the speaking circuit and delivering this message. This has all been such an exciting surprise.” So in her journey, how has Selena found the motivation for her art. What inspires this mother to paint and create? “I am the only motivator, it comes from within me. Externally random objects and experiences will conjure up an idea, but the key to a successful piece for me is to lose myself within the process and let the outcome arrive naturally, then it is easy to sit back and tweak the piece with the knowledge gained at art school,” reveals Selena. Selena’s art has been shown in many places in Australia including Adelaide, Murray Bridge, Canberra, Umbrella Gallery, Perc Finally at 40 | Life Begins


Tucker Regional Gallery, Murray Bridge Regional Gallery and Jan Umbrella Gallery. In Townsville Selena has her own art space called Studio2. Many of these Galleries have Selena’s artwork showing now. So who have been the big influences, mentors and sources of artistic inspiration for Selena Smith’s work? “I find Margaret Olley, Charles Blackman, Marc Chagall visually very inspiring. Barbara Cheshire, artist and teacher, was my springboard in the big art world, believing in my talent and encouraging me to embrace each day,” reveals Selena. Selena’s pathway has not been without challenge. Being married to a serviceman, whose life is not his own, has been a difficult balancing act which Selena has had to come to terms. With her husband deployed or away on exercise and courses often, Selena has had to also cope with living 6000km’s from her family. As a mother without family support, Selena has found support from friends who have become her chosen family. “I learned a lot from having a partner working away for much of the time and Finally at 40 | Life Begins

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40 ART

living so far away from family. I learned that I can’t do it all and I have to choose what is important at that moment in time, to be very supportive to our children as they have milestones that Dad can’t attend or be part of. Tolerance and patience are two strengths that I have developed from this process,” shares Selena. So how did turning 40 affect Selena? “Turning 40 was when I finally knew who I was and what I wanted to be and I knew it was only me that could make the future my own. I stopped worrying about the incidentals that no longer mattered and got on with my creative lifestyle. This freed me up mentally and emotionally to be me,” says Selena. On her list of people to meet, Selena shares that Rowan Atkinson is top of her list. When asked why, Selena responded, “Because he is a clever, intelligent, one of a kind artisan who went and did what he wanted regardless of the critique.” While others are moaning about their limitations and focusing on what they can’t do, Selena Smith is setting her course for the next exciting adventure in life. She shares this message with others, “Don’t wait for things to happen, take a chance and have a go yourself, there is no fail just a different journey to take, this journey could be the most rewarding.” Selena’s future is looking very positive. Her goals are to become a national artist, to be published and sell bigger better works that possibly grace the pages of a glossy magazine. Well, we can help her out there! And we wish her well with her desire to take the Studio2 concept nationally and engage other emerging artists into the realm of full-time art. Enjoy her gorgeous artwork.

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Finally at 40 | Life Begins


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Finally at 40 | Life Begins

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40 TRAVEL

My Alaskan Adventure For some people an adventure might be paddling in a canoe down the local river or even going on a river cruise, but for Perth Artist, Michelle Ryan, her thirst for a real adventure took her all the way to Alaska. Here she describes her incredible adventure…

In

2009, while on an adventure trip with my good friend Sue, I visited Valdez. We had just completed a five-day Glacier trek and now we were about to embark on a 4 day camping and kayaking trip through the Prince William Sound. Now don’t get the wrong idea, I will tell you straight up, Sue and I are not young fit adventurous people! Nope in fact we went on this amazing month-long adventure in Alaska to celebrate Sue’s 50th birthday! Years of being wives and mothers, we had decided to step out beyond our box and discover life! Guess most people would call this ‘mid life crisis’, but I call it living the next chapter of my life! We were up early and ready to go. Did not get a whole lot of sleep but I think my excitement carried me through. Sue and I met up with the two other people on our trip; Jen a recently single girl from Boston and Sam our courageous guide for four days. We spent our first day paddling around Glacier Island. The water was so calm and peaceful. The scenery was amazing! Nothing

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like I had ever seen before! There were small caves with a multitude of birds nesting in them, including the very cartoon looking Puffin. As we paddled we were joined by some friendly sea lions. A little too friendly as they popped their heads up out of the water right next to our Kayaks and jumped and flipped in front of us! Off in the distance we could see the snorts of the whales. That night we camped on the beach and enjoyed a fabulous meal of Halibut, local fish, that Sam cooked for us and spent the rest of the evening sitting around the campfire getting to know each other. It was perfect. The next morning, I was lying awake just listening to the waves gently lapping on the shore. The sound was so beautiful. I remember thinking, ‘I could get used to waking up to this’. It was very overcast and drizzly. We paddled for a while and then came across this beach that had a lot of Sea Lions on it. I have never in my life seen so many sea lions all in the same place. I felt like I was watching a National Geographic show. The Noise! The Smell! All the young males

banging their chests together, so typical. It doesn’t matter what species we talk about the males always behave the same! Trying to impress the girls! We paddled some more then we stopped on a small beach for lunch. Sam went off to explore and after awhile he came racing back waving his arm around in excitement! Gold! He thinks he found gold! That was it, Gold Fever struck us down and for the next hour we were looking for gold. With renewed energy, we paddled to get to our next camp. We had a 4-mile crossing to do and as it was getting late the sea had become rough so it was a real challenge. Eventually we made it to camp and Sam once again cooked us another fantastic meal. This time we had Salmon that Sam caught especially for this trip. The next day we were off, heading towards Columbia Bay past Heather Island and spending some time paddling through the huge ice bergs. As we paddled we could start to feel the air getting a bit cooler and the water had small ice cubes bobbing around in it. It was a bit like paddling in a glass of soft drink with ice cubes. We got closer towards the glacier and those ice cubes turned into ice blocks, then into ice boulders. The feeling I got was better than when I was a kid on Christmas morning about to open my gifts from Santa. The smile on my face just wouldn’t go away, only I couldn’t really see it as by this stage I had my bandanna and beanie covering my whole face with only my eyes exposed and they were covered with my glasses. Sue laughed at me. She thought I looked really funny and I probably did but hey, I was warm! We stopped for lunch on a moraine that was surrounded by Ice bergs. This was so incredible and so hard to believe that I was actually there. It was so surreal that I was sure I must have been in a National Geographic show? We then paddled through the maze of big bergs. The colours that they gave off were simply stunning. Their shapes were all so unique. It was very daunting, as they Finally at 40 | Life Begins


GUESS MOST PEOPLE WOULD CALL THIS ‘MID LIFE CRISIS’, BUT I CALL IT LIVING THE NEXT CHAPTER OF MY LIFE!”

towered over us while we tried to navigate our way through them. This was one hell of an experience I will never forget. Ever. Unfortunately, it was getting late and as we paddled away we could hear the sounds of the bergs hissing and cracking. They sounded like they were saying goodbye to us, then every now and then there was the angry sound of thunder! That was the big bergs flipping over. Such an intense sound. This was our last night before we headed back to Valdez. It was sad as we really would have liked to keep going. We had a roaring campfire with another fabulous dinner. I didn’t want this to end. The weather on our final day was not so good but we couldn’t complain. We spent more time travelling through the huge ice bergs and even though we were there the day before it felt like we were in another place as it had all changed. Before we headed back to Valdez, we paddled around Emerald Cove. It’s easy to understand how it gets it’s name as the water is the colour of emeralds. The day was drizzly but the water was so calm it was like a mill pond. The mountains reflected perfectly like a mirror image. The calmness was breathtaking and I really didn’t want it to end. I know that one adventure ends so that another can begin, but I really wanted so much more of this adventure. Finally at 40 | Life Begins

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Advertorial

I just refuse to live like this a Moment Longer Geraldine Teggelove shares her story of overcoming adversity at the tender age of 57, giving hope and a clear message that “despite your circumstances, it’s never too late to start living the life of your dreams” “I felt the shake and I heard the message, but still didn’t take any notice. Finally came the big bang and I was left reeling from the aftershocks, and asking, ‘Why is this happening? Why me?’ “My finances fell apart over a period of 18 months; so much so, that we lost everything. I was going through complete and utter financial meltdown and I couldn’t stop it. Looking back, probably the most significant reason our world fell apart was that I was unable to let go when I knew in my heart it was time to move on. Then I found myself standing in a material world with absolutely nothing and feeling completely and utterly vulnerable. I wasn’t sure if I could go on. Each morning I had to force myself to get up and make the decision to move forward. In one very dark, sobbing moment, I finally made the decision to let go and move on! And no matter what it took, I was going to find a way! “But how, at 58 years of age, does one begin again? How do you find the strength and courage to take a u-turn, to look at life from a totally new perspective, to find your gift, and then share it with the world? You find someone who has pulled themselves out of the smouldering rubble, rediscovered their passion in life, achieved success, and is now willing to show you step by practical step, how to do the same…It’s all about “Finding Your Song and Finding Your Voice”, with someone beside you holding your hand and cheering you on.

“The following two years were still filled with doubts and fears. I had commenced studies in Metaphysics and, as I grew in knowledge and understanding of myself, things began to fall into place. I slowly discovered the uniqueness of me – My Song - and I began to smile again. Out of this was born our book, Beyond Broke, which became an International Bestseller. In addition, I realised a childhood dream ofcomposing and recording, and now have two albums of my own inspirational songs, as well as Meditation CDs. “In spite of this apparent success, there was still something missing; the courage to step out and share my gifts with the world! I had attended dozens of seminars and courses, and was excited at the possibilities, but then I’d throw my hands in the air and give up, because I lacked the courage to take the first vital steps to get started! “Finally, at 60, I unlocked the secret to success and shared my gifts. I am now passionate about spending time assisting other women in overcoming the challenges of starting again, taking the steps needed to become successful at what they love, and living a truly prosperous life. I do this through individual mentoring, or my course “Finding Your Song – Finding Your Voice.” This 6 week course is available online as a series of live webinars, or as a series of workshops held in Melbourne. “So often in life, the journey wears us down. We think our time has passed and we miss the brilliance that lies within us. We fail to recognise the jewels that make us the unique, magnificent spirits that we truly are. And yet, the world awaits our gifts; the world awaits the moment that we step out in faith and shine! And when that moment arrives, all of creation smiles, and sings our song.”

Dr. Geraldine Teggelove is an Inspirational metaphysical mentor and coach, author singer/songwriter and public speaker. For more information or to contact, XX. {www.finallyat40.com.au} visit her website at www.geraldineteggelove.com

Finally at 40 | Life Begins


40 EVENTS

What’s On By Andrea Cafnik

Melbourne International Flower & Garden Show Gardeners rejoice! The MIFG returns for its 16th year and blooming in autumn at the Carlton Gardens, there will be flowers and gardens of every variety, inspirational landscaping, and the most spectacular floral arrangements! Come and see the Great Hall of Flowers held inside the Royal Exhibition Building; the Garden Design Awards, recognising the best of outdoor landscaping; the Sculpture Garden features art from both established and emerging artists, and the sculptors fight for attention some of Victoria’s finest Art Societies will be exhibiting works inspired by nature; and lastly, The Children’s Garden is particularly special and encourages budding green thumbs. THE MIFG this year will be supporting The Alannah and Madeline Foundation – take the littlies to the 3D Enchanted Garden in the Buildings and the butterfly enclosures – oohs and aahs aplenty! Wednesday 30 March – Sunday 3 April 2011 9am to 5pm daily

Madam Butterfly The American Lieutenant Pinkerton has fallen under the spell of her innocence and charm.... Madame Butterfly began life as an opera composed by Puccini based in part on the short story of the same name by John Luther Long (written in 1898). It is the story of US Naval Officer Pinkerton and Cio-Cio San (nicknamed Madame Butterfly), a story of love, tragedy and ultimately betrayal that has moved audiences around the globe and as a ballet, it is truly breathtaking.

Royal Exhibition Building and Carlton Gardens, Carlton, Victoria

And the costumes - designer, Peter Farmer adorns the cast in watercolour chiffons, exquisite kimonos, luxurious brocades and dresses as light as butterfly wings.

Tasmania

This production is truly a testimony to the magnificence of the Australian Ballet.

Tasmania in autumn is a kaleidoscope of colours - greens, reds, browns, golds – they’re all here in the gardens, the picturesque scenery, the beautiful scenic trails for which Tasmania is known.

Melbourne 25 February – 9 March The Arts Centre, State Theatre with Orchestra Victoria

Tasmania is a gourmet paradise, where people live close to the land and sea and there is a natural flow from paddock to plate. Four distinct seasons make it perfect for producing prime cheeses, mouth-watering berries, wide-ranging vegetables, stone fruits, herbs, premium beef, specialty honey, mushrooms, cool-climate wines and some of Australia’s leading boutique and production beers.

Adelaide 18 – 23 March Festival Theatre, Adelaide Festival Centre with Adelaide Symphony Orchestra

About 40% of Tasmania is protected within national parks and reserves, and you’ll be surprised how easy it is to experience the wilderness – on a Dove Lake or Russell Falls walking track, a cruise boat off Bruny Island’s south coast or by light plane to Melaleuca, deep in the south-west.

Sydney 7 – 27 April Opera Theatre, Sydney Opera House with Australian Opera and Ballet Orchestra

If you have never been to Tassie, the cool crisp mornings, clear sunny days and cold nights of autumn are the perfect time to visit and I promise, you will not be disappointed!

Finally at 40 | Life Begins

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40 ARMCHAIR READER

Good Reads By Andrea Cafnik THE DISTANT HOURS Kate Morton Allen & Unwin Shamefully, I admit to never having had a Kate Morton book, but that is a wrong that has now been righted. Morton is one of Australia’s bestselling authors, and rightfully so. The Distant Hours is essentially a love story – the love a daughter has for her mother, the love between three sisters, and the love of a house – a home in essence. It begins with a letter being delivered – a letter that was lost for many, many years and thus begins a journey from Edie Burchill to bridge the distance that has long marred her relationship with her mother. Evacuated to Millderhurst Castle during the War, Edie’s mother stays with the Blythe family – Juniper, her twin sisters and their father, Raymond, the world renowned author of the classic children’s book, The True History of the Mud Man. And fifty years on, Millderhurst Castle still stands, and the three sisters, old ladies now, still live in the family home, with the twins nursing Juniper and still keeping their secrets. But Edie has her mission now, to uncover what really happened at the Castle and to uncover those long ago forgotten Distant Hours. The Distant Hours is beautifully told, magically written, and from the first page, I really didn’t want the book to end. Morton leads us to the Castle, and once there, you can feel the dust and the grime, but under all that, you can see the glory of the Castle’s bones and green of the grounds. And the mud that once was there. It’s spooky and delicious and gets under your skin and really, you can’t let go, even if you wanted to...

THE REVERSAL Michael Connelly Allen & Unwin

FALL GIRL Toni Jordan Text Publishing Very, very funny! Poor Daniel Metcalf, a good-looking millionaire. Well, he really didn’t stand a chance against Dr Ella Canfield who desperately needs funding for her work, proving an extinct animal is actually roaming through Australia’s national park. So Daniel and Ella meet, and Daniel wants to be helpful – one small hitch – Dr Ella Canfield doesn’t exist. There is no research, no animal roaming happily through the park, but there is lots of money and there is a fall – only, who’s gonna take that very hard-landing fall? This is a fun read, easy, light-hearted but very witty and very funny – perfect for summer reading on a beach – or dare I say, a national park...

This is not an innocent man being set free after years of serving time in prison. It is a guilty man playing the system and being set free to kill again. Can Mickey Haller change sides – work for the DA? Is he being set up to take the fall? Jason Jessup has spent the last 25 years on death row and now he has been vindicated – freed, and Haller has been chosen as the one man to put him back where he belongs – in prison. Harry Bosch is absolutely convinced Jessup is a guilty man and working with Haller, they need to shore up the evidence because on the other side is a media blitz waiting to happen, and a defense attorney who will portray Jessup as an innocent man fighting a corrupt justice system. As always, Connelly’s books are lightning fast, a good-fashioned crime book and a great read. Just what you need for lazy, hot summer days.

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Finally at 40 | Life Begins


WORLD TABLE – FAVOURITE RECIPES FROM AROUND THE WORLD AWW

KITCHEN – RECIPES FROM THE HEART OF THE HOME Nigella Lawson AWW

Part recipe book, part travel and part coffee book. Put this book down anywhere in the house, and someone is likely to come along and pick it up. And even if you never cook any of the recipes, which are simple enough for anyone, you will nonetheless enjoy browsing, dreaming and escaping to some of the exotic tastes conjured up from around the world in this highly evocative foodie’s escape. World Table has some of the well-known dishes from around the world – Chicken Cacciatore from Italy; Dolmades from Greece, Rogan Josh from India, American Meatloaf, and Mexican Chilli con Carne – what more could you ask for? And all these recipes are straight forward – the ingredients in your cupboard, all you need is someone to volunteer to eat the delights!

This sumptuous creation can only be described as seductive. As you turn the pages another wonderful recipe magically appears and you can almost smell and taste the banana bread, the roasted shoulder of lamb, or do you fancy an easy-peasy chocolate chip cookie? Beautifully laid out, glorious images and step by step instructions – a foodie’s dream come true. And with the holidays almost upon us, now is a perfect time to try your hand at some of these taste-tempting treats. Along the way, there are little snippets of stories, tips and thoughts and I promise you, if you enjoyed her TV series, you will absolutely love her new book.

THREE SECONDS Roslund and Hellström Murdoch Books The Swedes know how to do crime, and in Three Seconds, award winning journalist, Anders Roslund has teamed up with ex-criminal Börge Hellström to write one hell of a story. Piet Hoffman is the best undercover operative in the Swedish police force, but no one knows he exists. And now he is being asked to infiltrate Sweden’s harshest maximum security prison. Meanwhile, DI Ewert Grens is investigating the drug-related killing which leads him to Hoffman. Not knowing Hoffman is one of theirs; Grens believes he is tracking a dangerous psychopath... Hoffman has insurance, implicating some of Sweden’s most prominent politicians, but they have Grens, who might just be the man to silence Hoffman and make the mess they have created vanish into thin air. Three Seconds is a thunderbolt, brutal, breath-taking and grounded in the gritty realism of criminal life. Don’t read this one in bed – it will keep you up most of the night! Finally at 40 | Life Begins

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40 RELATIONSHIPS

A LOVER’S WAY To solve relationship issues

Sexual Therapist and Relationships Specialist, Heide McConkey tackles the very difficult issue of resolving conflicts lovingly…

The

same society that expects us to be happy, create perfect relationships, and raise healthy families, teaches us next to nothing about how to do this. This most challenging role in our life is expected of us to be filled ‘naturally,’ without education. The extent of preparing us for how to be a good wife or husband, lover or parent, may be by observing and role-modelling our parents, who in turn had no other teachers than role modelling their own parents, and so on. It comes as no surprise that we keep repeating the same old mistakes over and over again throughout the generations. Too often, we grow up with wrong beliefs and expectations on relationships; they should be nuclear, they should be always happy, relationships should provide sex forever, and nothing should ever change. Nothing is further from the truth. All couples experience good times, and times of conflict in even the very best of relationships. All of us who are, or have been, in a committed bond with a significant other know this cycle of up times and down times only too well, and we usually do our very best to avoid those dreaded down times. Unfortunately, enjoying the goodies only and avoiding the bad bits might be the very reason for leading us down the path of relationship decay. In this article I invite you to embrace your couple down times as much as you enjoy the good times of harmony and happiness, because down times are our teachers, they are capable to open up a potential to personal and relationship growth and creativity. Down time is a part of every couple’s life span, and simply highlights our differences. If we use these differences positively they can be a great resource to growing together, building new levels of intimacy, love, and understanding, and they may allow us to experience new depth of relationship. Be aware of a number of silent relationship killers; we might have become too busy mastering the often too many work related, social, financial, parenting, and family related issues. The toll on

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relationships is quite predictable, and mostly includes becoming disappointed, frustrated, bored with one another, judgemental, getting too serious, losing playfulness and spontaneity, and forgetting how to have fun. This may lead to a cost of losing a part of our individuality and self expression that once created sparks of turnons. To some degree, we lose our radiance, our sensual and sexual selves, and perhaps we might lose sight of our partner’s needs as well. We have become ‘performers’ of perceived expectations of relationship, we do not live it organically anymore. The first tell tale signs are a certain loss of sexual interest, a lowering of libido, a decreased sense of attraction, and sexual dysfunctions. We need to stop this demise right here and swing into action, in order to change the dangers of stalemate and slip back into relationship. Often at this point, partners begin to openly fight about the lack of sex, or the lack of interest and attention given to each other. Partners may experience painful feelings of loss, neglect, and a lack of respect and love, as their mutual needs for intimacy are not being met. Many feel a sense of betrayal and hopelessness. Some want to give up. During many years of working as a sex and relationship therapist, I have developed helpful tools to solve relationship upheaval. Some of these are here for you to try. A word of warning beforehand! Try to never use sex for ‘making up’ or ‘mercy’ because you feel guilty or sorry for your partner. While making up by using sex may evoke a feeling of security, it is a false security. The dividing issues that have contributed to relationship disharmony are still the elephant in the room. Abusing sex to mask unresolved conflict will take away sexual spirituality - our most integral sexual and sensual gift. In case your sexual problems are due to physical health issues, make an appointment with your doctor. The sooner these health issues are addressed the better will be the outcome for the couple. Finally at 40 | Life Begins


Your feelings belong to you exclusively. You need to own and contain them. Your partner cannot correctly guess or feel them. Only when you let him/her know what you experience they can appreciate your emotions.”

PREPARING FOR SOLVING THE CONFLICT.

SOLVING CONFLICT, THE MEETING.

-

Deflect from the flashpoints in your sex life.

-

Keep your couple’s meeting democratic.

-

Organize a mutually agreed time and place for a ‘couple’s meeting.

-

-

Arrange private time with your partner, avoid being rushed or distracted by any other commitments, including children.

Begin the meeting with selecting one item from your list, and talk to your partner for an allocated and agreed time addressing your selected item. I recommend a time of 5 minutes.

-

Avoid the consumption of too much alcohol, food, or sugar because this may cause you getting too emotional.

-

-

Make sure that both of you are not too tired. You need a clear head.

Your partner is listening without interrupting you, while you talk. I recommend the listener taking written notes.

-

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Prior to the meeting prepare a list, carefully addressing your points of conflict that you want to solve.

When you are finished, your partner’s speech time begins with giving you feedback by asking e.g. ‘I heard you say… did I understand you correctly?

-

Invite your partner to do the same.

-

You need to clarify or agree.

-

Be aware that you might become emotional, teary or angry; therefore a written list/agenda is helpful to keep you on track.

-

Now, it is your partner’s time to talk for 5 minutes and your role is to listen, taking written notes, and most importantly not to interrupt.

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When your partner has finished, your speech time begins again with giving feedback, and your partner’s role is to clarify or agree. Then, you take over and begin talking for 5 minutes, etc.

-

Keep your couples meeting to one hour maximum to avoid overwhelm.

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Arrange a time for a new meeting, ideally no longer than one week away.

Finally at 40 | Life Begins

Most couples in my private practice find this technique to be a useful tool in reducing stress and anxiety, solving relationship issues, and maintaining better relationships. The main reasons why couples become estranged from each other lays in a lack of talking and listening boundaries. When using the above active communication tool, it is important to be aware of your emotions, particularly when you hear your partner talking about something too close to home. Your feelings belong to you exclusively. You need to own and contain them. Your partner cannot correctly guess or feel them. Only when you let him/her know what you experience they can appreciate your emotions. Couple’s fights are usually the result of a lack of personal emotion boundaries. Emotions are either not shared or ‘explode’. Using the above talking and listening model, both positive and negative feelings can be expressed safely. If your boundaries become violated, postpone the meeting or seek professional counselling help.

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40 FAMILY

SEEING RED*@# Have you ever bottled up your feelings for so long you feel like you’re about to explode? Discovering some simple steps you can take, Kareena Trevillian shares how you can express your feelings honestly, without sending everyone around you running for cover… “It’s taken me forty years to discover that I can have confrontations - and survive.” That’s how popular Irish writer Marian Keyes summed up her experience of turning 40 in an article published in the book Further Under the Duvet. The author revealed how, shortly after welcoming the start of her fifth decade, she suddenly began berating her friends for habits that had annoyed her for years but she’d always kept quiet about. Ms Keyes recounts criticising one close friend for constantly judging other women by their dress size and another for talking incessantly about her young children. Acknowledging that she’d previously gone to extraordinary lengths to avoid voicing negative opinions, the bemused writer recalls being as surprised as anyone by her uncharacteristic outbursts, likening them to a “red mist” descending on her from out of nowhere and disappearing just as quickly once they were over. This situation isn’t unusual according to counsellor Julie Ayres, who says many of her clients need help to learn to communicate more effectively and that for a lot of people it isn’t until reaching midlife that they develop the confidence to be honest about how they really feel. “I have all sorts of clients that have never been able to speak up for themselves and it’s not till they get older that they start to think that what they have to contribute is worthwhile,” she says. Julie continues that it’s common for people in this situation to feel overwhelmed by the sudden desire to voice their true feelings which she likens to a volcanic eruption. “I think over the years frustration builds internally with people who aren’t able to speak up,” says Julie. “When people hold down their feelings within themselves it’s like a volcano that keeps growing and sooner or later it’s got to explode.” But Julie advises that people experiencing this urge can learn to control their volatility. She recommends the following four-step process to help people express their feelings calmly and increase the likelihood of

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a positive outcome for both parties. Acknowledge the behaviour of the other person with composure and compassion

1.

Julie stresses that it’s important not to forget empathy when you’re learning to assert your own needs and the most important first step is to give to the other person what you’re hoping to get back. “People want to be heard, they want to be validated,” she says. “If we come with just the truth then we can easily cut them down, but if we come with some understanding as to where they’re at, that opens the door and they’re more likely to respond in a positive way.”

2.

Share the truth about your feelings and how their behaviour is affecting you

The key to the second step is having the courage to speak honestly about your feelings. “Sometimes we pussyfoot around and don’t say things to other people because we think we’re going to hurt them or they might react badly, but in fact when we do speak the truth our relationships can actually grow much stronger,” says Julie.

3.

Tell them how you would like them to behave in future

Many people trip up on this point by mistakenly assuming the other person already knows how you would like them to behave. Chances are, they don’t and you need to spell it out for them.

4.

one case she lost a friendship because of it. “I’m sad but I will live with it,” Marion confessed. Although it may be unsettling, learning to assert yourself can ultimately be very rewarding. Ms Keyes noted the satisfaction of finally feeling like an “adult” once she’d learned to handle confrontation, while Julie lists benefits that include a sense of selfempowerment, improved relationships and an increased ability to get what you need. After witnessing the changes in many of her clients Julie says she believes that learning to speak your own truth can transform people’s lives. “You really can live your best years after 40,” she says.” Once you bring out what’s inside you it’s a wonderful thing.” This example demonstrates using the four step process to speak to a partner who’s coming home angry and hostile as a result of troubles at work.

Ask them if they’re willing to change

Communicating assertively doesn’t mean trying to force other people to do what we want them to do. The final step in the process recognises that other people have rights too and offers them the opportunity to make up their own minds. Julie advises that changing the way we communicate is not an overnight process but persistent effort is likely to bring about results. “It may take some practice, but as you work consistently on changing the way you respond to people you will usually find that they change the way they respond to you,” she says. Although practicing these techniques will help smooth the transition for people learning to speak more openly, Julie cautions that inevitably there may be some friends and loved ones who aren’t willing to accept the change. “As you start to behave differently there will be people in your life who are affected by it so badly that they can’t maintain the relationship and ultimately you’ve just got to let them go,” she says. Marion Keyes reported having this experience, revealing that although most of her friends forgave her for her outbursts in

IT’S TAKEN ME FORTY YEARS TO DISCOVER THAT I CAN HAVE CONFRONTATIONS AND SURVIVE.”

Step 1

“I can see how upset you are and I’m sorry you’ve had a bad day.”

Step 2

“But the truth is when you come home from work and start getting angry with me, I feel like you’re taking it out on me and I start feeling anxious and disrespected.”

Step 3

“I understand your anger, but can we just sit down and talk logically? I’m here for you, and I want you to feel you can share your problems, but I can do without the anger.”

Step 4

“Would you be willing to do that for me?” Finally at 40 | Life Begins


Finally at 40 | Life Begins

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40 INSPIRATION

today I will….

List ’ h s i W y M ‘

Alexia Tzovlas shares her top 100 list of things she wants to do before she becomes an Angel… Whether you realize it or not, subconsciously our every day consists of goal setting; our aspirations, dreams and desires to fulfill what it is that defines happiness and personal achievement for us as individuals. Are we so caught up in the fear of having a mainstream wish list; going to university, owning our home, hoping for an annual holiday, financial freedom – that we forget or lose ourselves and the value of defining our own personal goals and dreams, or is it that we just don’t know how to?

F

rom the moment we are born we are destined to please someone else; our parents who are sleep deprived and wish that we will sleep through the night so they are rested for the challenges of the next day, our grandparents who cannot wait for us to grow up so they can read us stories and take us to the park for their social outings, our school teacher who watches over us for signs of our outstanding development that reflect on their great performance, our teenage friends who expect us to have the same interests otherwise ‘we cannot be friends anymore’ or our first employer who demands that the success of their business is our responsibility. All of these expectations we allow others to have of us, and yet, often we show no sign of owning ‘Our Wish List’ for our own benefit and fulfillment. Is this you? ‘Today I’m going to the gym’, ‘I’m going to finish reading my book’, ‘I’m going to start my diet’, ‘I’m going to look into booking that girlfriend dream holiday that we need so much’….gonna, gonna, gonna take over the world! The reality is that there are mostly gonna’s, who aspire to be doers, but there is always an excuse holding them back. Or there are the doers, who are self-motivated enough and have the resilience and courage to push aside their inhibitions in order to embrace and connect with what it is their heart desires. My list started in my mid 30’s. I committed through a business seminar to write down and share with my family and friends, the ‘My top 100 things that I wanted to achieve before I became an Angel’. The heading alone inspired and heightened my awareness to the understanding that I am my own creator through each and every choice that I make. As I scribbled with anticipation my list began with a pen which appeared to be running low. I began to reveal…a sense of being, a better understanding of self, a desire to giving as well as receiving, gratitude, definite purpose, my strength of ownership, an inner awakening and peace…empowerment! I now had my first vision before me and in writing! This was my list of challenges, opportunities and accountability to making every single one of them happen. I was achieving and ticking one item off at a time, with no fear, only celebration, for this was my chosen path and journey!

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How did you create your wish list? It’s really quite simple and begins with ensuring you are in a good space of being true to yourself, for this is Your List to own! Your goals plan needs to be SMART - Specific, Measurable, Action based, Realistic and Time framed. Begin by looking at the Adult Wheel of Life (AWOL). It consists of a circle divided equally into eight segments (like pieces of a pie or spokes in a wheel). Each segment represents an area of your life.

Let me introduce you to them;

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.

Family & Friends (direct and extended family) Love & Relationships (with friends, partner, family and at work) Community (how do I want to contribute) Health & Fitness (wellbeing both emotionally and physically) Finances (your ideal capacity and position) Personal Growth Career, and Fun & Recreation.

Finally at 40 | Life Begins


Balancing all of these in my personal Top 100 Wish List was definitely going to draw on my beliefs and my values, both traditional and unconventional. It has included the influences of my parents (my mother representing nourishment, strength and leadership and my father, as the sensitive and logical leader of the home), as well as everyone that has been a part of my life and taught me through their own experiences. As my list was finalised and the ticks and crosses were indicative of the coming to fruition of my Wish List, I realized that this list was now demanding to evolve, as I had evolved. Some that were priorities in my 30’s where no longer of importance and had to be replaced by somewhat more relevant new dreams and desires that came from new knowledge and insights. And so, on my 40th Birthday I re-defined my list. I took away being a proud owner of a pair of dream shoes from Manolo Blahnik – influenced by Sex and the City - and replaced it with providing 100 homeless children with a new pair of shoes. I took away sky-diving lessons and changed it to running a half-marathon in 2010 with my dearest friend – of which we achieved and shared a spiritual journey together. I deleted buying a genuine Louis Vuitton handbag and replaced it with spending a few months supporting a third world community. I have gratitude and have also celebrated founding three businesses and giving more than I received; raising two well balanced teenagers as a single mother; para-sailing in Fiji and Hawaii; running along the River Seine in Paris; Bike riding around Santorini in Greece; running in various Melbourne fun-runs and to my target times; taking a lift from a bikie in Bali; travelled in the jump seat of the cockpit all the way to Singapore; and a one-week girl’s trip adventure every year. Yes, I have the car of my dreams, the man of my dreams…and yet my top 100 is balanced with much more than what money can buy! And so in 2010, whilst well into my 40’s, I joined a Women’s Goal Group named ‘The G Spot’ (I know what you are thinking, so let me define this for you - The Goals Spot). My group consists of eight inspiring women who understood the power of creating a Wish List / Goals List, who were aligned and resilient enough to step out of their comfort zones and challenge one another in order to achieve our personal goals, to benefit from accountability by taking action and remaining focused, where all goals touched on the eight AWOL segments. Amongst us we have celebrated a wedding, a half-marathon, successes in business, new friendships and bonds, community engagement/fundraising, ongoing personal growth and one amongst us still ticked off that Loius Vuitton bag from her list! I am proud to have the power of my evolving list continuing to guide my path, providing clarity to my choices and engaging my ambitions….and I am excited to know that it will change again, as I change, well past my 40’s! In your daily reflections as busy women, mothers, lovers and teachers, is it that those closest to you have not yet shared their own Wish List and understood the significant benefit to growth and personal evolution, through writing down and following our own dreams? Can you imagine how different your choices may have been if you knew this back then and started your list earlier or even had one at all? I challenge you to create your own ‘Top 100 List of things to do before you become an Angel’ and sharing it with your own friends and family. They might just surprise you and help you tick off your goals (both tangible with a credit card and intangible with your spirituality), while they too support and help you celebrate on your journey….or, you may inspire them to make their own list! Embrace your power, Create that in which you desire, Live your dreams and surround yourself with Love. “Understand that no one can stop you from achieving your dreams, other than yourself”– The Little Book of Insights, Poppy Pavlides. Imagine what your sky will look like before you become a sparkling Angel? Finally at 40 | Life Begins

I AM PROUD TO HAVE THE POWER OF MY EVOLVING LIST CONTINUING TO GUIDE MY PATH, PROVIDING CLARITY TO MY CHOICES AND ENGAGING MY AMBITIONS…. AND I AM EXCITED TO KNOW THAT IT WILL CHANGE AGAIN, AS I CHANGE, WELL PAST MY 40’S!”

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Advertorial

Improv games for speakers...I love it! One day…one woman…one opportunity that empowered her to do things she’d never dreamed of… This was Sue Glendenning’s account of a day at a Think in Pictures event facilitated by Deanna Roberts… “As I received the object in my hand, I immediately felt my heart pick up a beat… “Then my mind kicked into gear and I realised that although I felt challenged, I had the skills necessary to deliver what was required. “After all, that was what the whole event with Deanna was all about. She had creatively taken me through a process of self-discovery and empowerment and I knew that only positive things could come out of the end of the activity and that gave me the courage to step forward and deliver. “I heard the person next to me saying out loud, ‘I can’t do it.’ Then I heard Deanna’s reassuring voice and the words were encouraging and I witnessed their self-imposed boundaries starting to crumble as they realised they could do something that previously terrified them. I was inspired and with a full heart I reflected back on why I came to the event… “In deciding to come, I knew it was going to be fun, because I knew Deanna was good at what she does and is the kind of person that makes life fun. “I expected it to be both relaxing and challenging and I wasn’t disappointed. Throughout the day she took us through her unique blend of challenging and fun activities that both helped us to grow individually - to develop on a personal level - but also to gain a specific set of skills necessary for speaking in public. “We didn’t have to be professional public speakers or even desire it. Some in our group just wanted to have the confidence to talk to others in a group environment! That was what made it all so special because no matter the level, you got what you needed from the event. “I loved that everyone was so warm and supportive. It really gave me and others the courage to try new and challenging things. And out of these, Deanna drew out the learning in such a positive and supportive way. She really did make the learning part incredibly easy and so enjoyable. “Stand out moments in the day were…developing my reflexes for life through the improv games…sharing the moments of challenge with others…gaining new skills…having so much fun! I know that I can take this further if I choose to. It was so enlightening and enriching, stepping out of your comfort zone, doing new things and feeling so good about it.”

Speaker SportS… Empowering People to Find the Confidence and the Skill to Speak Publicly in a Fun and Easy Way Step up and learn how to communicate with confidence now. It’s a whole load easier than you think and you could be rocking the world with your message! Contact Deanna Roberts on 0413 065 066 now to find out how.

think in pictureS eventS 2011

e: info@deannaroberts.com.au

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Specialising in pregnancy, newborn, baby, children and family photography, Jodie is an experienced photographer whose pictures capture the beauty of her subjects as they interact naturally and playfully. A photography session with Jodie is always relaxed and enjoyable, whether in her Sydney studio or at one of the many gorgeous outdoor locations nearby. Jodie herself is a mum to two little girls - Charlotte and Georgia. She feels that motherhood has given her a new appreciation of the importance of beautiful photographs that capture the unique personalities of your little ones.

Contact Jodie on (02) 9967 4213 www.jodieannephotography.com.au

Finally at 40 | Life Begins


Advertorial

Women In Motion Events

During her primary school years, Sheryl Phillips says there were two girls, Christine and Barbara, who were always together. She recalls how she envied so much their special bond of friendship and longed to have a friendship like theirs. As an adult she also longed to be one of those successful ladies who have the confidence and social skills to go out for dinner, to catch up, form new relationships, receive advice, learn from others, create ideas, find out who to trust and who to confide in. Her solution to satisfying this longing in her life was to create an opportunity for herself and others like her through the vehicle of Women in Motion Events, which she launched in 2009. Essentially, Sheryl wanted women to have that opportunity to connect and make quality friendships with women who would be positively influential in their lives.

Dates of events are: Friday 8th April 2011 Firday 13 May 2011 Location: The Buckingham International 1130 Nepean Hwy Highett, Victoria For more information go to www.womeninmotionevents.com.au or phone 1300776432 or 1800776432.

So what are Women in Motion Events? Women in Motion Events are all about creating a happy, friendly atmosphere where women can get together to converse and enjoy themselves over a meal . Attracting women of all ages and stages of life, Founder and Managing Director, Sheryl Phillips, says “The ladies who attend our events are just amazing; their stories are very special, their dreams, their insights, their wealth of information are all so interesting.” The events are not just a meal, but also there are guest presenters who share of their wisdom and life journey.

Sheryl Phillips is offering you the opportunity to attend her next two events

at a reduced rate of $45 (includes a two course meal), but you will need to get in quick as this is for the first 25 women to regiSter only.

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subscribe now and win “Amie” quilted cotton cushions from Angads. Twenty lucky subscribers will go in the draw to win a pair of charming “Amie” cushions from Angads. Made from quilted cotton, these reversible, 45 cm square cushions feature a charming pink rose design on a white background and will add that finishing touch to your French style décor. Retailed $29.95

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40 WELL BEING

- FOODS- for: DETOX & WEIGHT LOSS Natural Medicine has been the forefront of holistic weight reduction that is safe with many therapeutic results. In my 18 years of clinical experience as a Chinese Medicine practitioner and Natural Therapist, I have found that when you combine a gentle detox and weight loss programme together, the benefits are much greater. In our modern lifestyle, the majority of people’s systems are overloaded with toxic chemicals, synthetic drugs, and manmade fast foods. No wonder we feel “not just right” physically but also emotionally. The change towards a healthy diet and a healthy weight loss regime would be more effective if preceded by a cleansing and detox programme. In the West, food is described according to the amount of carbohydrates, proteins, fats, minerals and vitamins it contains. In the East however, food is described according to their qualities in temperature and flavour. The temperatures of foods are either: Hot, Warm, Neutral, Cool or Cold. The flavours are described as Salty, Sour, Bitter, Sweet and Pungent and each of these flavours is related to an organ in the body. Due to the length of this article, I will only give a brief summary of the foods selected for detox and weight loss Excess – Phlegm and Dampness: In the West what we call toxin, is classified as an Excess in Chinese Medicine. Thus detox and weight loss is approached by eliminating this Excess in the body. This Excess can be further classified as Phlegm and Dampness.* (see below). So it makes sense to combine the two for an effective weight loss programme. Our body is so wise that initially it will store toxins in fat cells, away from vital organs. This is why people often become unwell when detoxing or losing weight rapidly. When toxins eventually get into arteries, organs or muscle tissues, they can create tissue damage, thus we cause further health problems for ourselves. Toxins in our tissues can also lead to premature ageing, disease and pain. As well as eliminating Excess in the form of Phlegm and Dampness, detox and weight loss in Chinese Medicine also focuses on restoring and strengthening all the organ systems responsible for maintaining ongoing detoxification and lasting weight loss. What I am sharing with you is not a diet, but some key guidelines that will help to strengthen your body’s organs that play a major role in controlling detoxification and weight loss. These guidelines follow the 5,000 year

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old Chinese Food Therapy principles which are still valid and proven to be effective in today’s modern lifestyle. * Dampness – this describes a weakness in the energy of the Spleen. Digestive weakness, tiredness and/or aches in the limbs or a ‘fuzzy head’ are some of the symptoms. * Phlegm – this describes a more developed manifestation or Dampness. It usually lodges in certain organs, congealing and obstructing our body’s functions. The following are the foundations for a successful detox and weight loss based on the 5000 year old Chinese Medicine protocols.

1) The Spleen: the centre of strengthening digestion and absorption of food. the centre for balancing blood sugar. The Spleen in Chinese Medicine is in charge of the transportation and transformation of foods and fluids after a meal. In other words, the Spleen determines how foods are utilized in the body and plays an important role in safe and effective weight loss. Nourishing the Spleen with tonic foods helps it do its job more efficiently. The Spleen also controls blood sugar levels i.e sweet cravings are a result of Spleen Qi Deficiency. The Spleen is damaged by the foods that create Phlegm and Dampness. These foods are: fried foods, sugars, iced drinks and over consumption of raw foods. Ironically too much salad, juices and fruits will damage the Spleen and cause additional weight gain. Some foods are particularly dampening, so it is best to avoid them, these are: dairy products (sheep and goat products are less dampening). Pork and rich meats, roasted peanuts, concentrated fruit juices (particularly oranges and tomatoes), wheat, bread, yeast, beer, bananas, sugar and sweeteners, saturated fats.

2) Bitter and Pungent flavours: the key to burning fat Being either slightly or grossly overweight or just carrying an extra 5 kilos is not always caused by overeating. There are many thin people who overeat and many with excess weight who do not. In Chinese Medicine this is due to a weakness in the Spleen’s function of transforming and transporting foods. There are also those who have followed a healthy diet and plenty of exercise but only lose weight slowly or not at all. For all these cases, it is recommended that bitter *and pungent* flavours are emphasized in the diet. Sweet, salty and sour foods are limited i.e: most fruits (except those on the list) Of course the fat content and diuretic properties of foods are also important.

* Bitter flavour – this flavour in foods ‘drains and dries’ as it travels downwards through the body. It detoxifies the body, improves digestion and appetite, and draws our Dampness and Phlegm which are associated to toxic overload in our body. Bitter herbs that are beneficial are: burdock root; dandelion root; chamomile (also pungent); yellow dock root (also laxative); and bupleurum root (also pungent); green tea; alfalfa tea; chickweed tea. * Pungent flavour – this flavour disperses stagnation and promotes circulation of energy and blood. It stimulates digestion and helps break Phlegm and Mucus-the stubborn toxic overload in our body which binds fat cells. Pungent herbs are: cumin; ginger; cloves; spearmint; fennel; anise; cayenne. A person with heat symptoms should avoid these warming pungents and should use neutral or cooling ones instead: peppermint; chamomile; kohlrabi; turnip; taro; white pepper.

3) The Kidney Fire: the foundation for boosting your metabolism. The Kidney, in Chinese Medicine, houses all the essence energy of the body. Therefore it is important that the energy of the Kidneys is optimal for strong metabolism and thus an effective weight loss. The consumption of Bitter and Pungent foods need to be supported by Yang tonic foods and herbs. These foods are: basil, chive seeds, dill seeds, garlic, sage, star anise, cinnamon bark, fennel seed, dried ginger, thyme, cloves, fenugreek seeds, nutmeg, rosemary. Other tonic foods to consume are: lobster, shrimp, and in small portions-walnuts and chestnuts. You can enjoy fresh raspberries for breakfast as they are Kidney tonics.

EATING 5-6 SMALL MEALS A DAY: THE KEY TO SUCCESSFUL WEIGHT LOSS.” As part of Chinese Medicine Food Therapy, it is important to eat breakfast every morning, especially if you are trying to lose weight. It is also important to eat 5-6 small meals, 2-3 hours apart. Eating breakfast, lunch and dinner makes up half your normal sized meals and the other half are 3 small snacks between each meal. All meals should be consumed before 7pm. Organic foods are preferred when available. An easy way to do this is divide your meals in the following: Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, and then add the snack midmorning and midafternoon. It is important for each meal and snacks to contain protein. Finally at 40 | Life Begins


YUMMY AUTUMN SOUPbarley soup for staying slim.

Serves 8. ¼ cup onion, chopped 4 carrots, grated 2 parsnips, diced 1 tablespoon oil 1 litre water 1 cup barley 1/3 teaspoon ginger, grated 1 teaspoon kelp (or other seaweed) or 1 tablespoon natto miso Parsley Sauté onion, carrots and parsnips in oil (or water) Add water, barley and ginger. Simmer for 1 ½ hours. Add salt or miso and simmer 15 minutes more Garnish with parsley

The following proportions of each food groups are recommended:

Empower foods: for detox and weight loss:

Vegetables – 60% 3-6 cups cooked vegetables per day. East mostly greens!

Beans: Aduki, Black soybeans Mung beans, Soybeans,Kidney and Broad beans

Grains - 40% 1-2 cups per day. Whole, organic preferred!

Grains: Oats, Barley,Rye

Beans, legumes – 30% 1-2 cups per day. Whole, organic!

Fruits: All berries,Tomato,Lemon/lime, Umeboshi plum, Dark grapes, Lemon peel,Tangerine peel Orange peel,Grapefruit,Pear

Fish and poultry – 30% 1-2 serves per day. Fresh water fish preferable i.e freshwater trout. (if you are trying to lose weight, then adding a third or fourth serve of protein is beneficial) Fruit – 20% 1 serve per day. Preferably in the morning with breakfast! Nuts & oils – 10% 1 tbsp olive or flaxseed oil per day. Cold-pressed organic preferred!Eat only ¼ cup of nuts per day or every second day ONLY! Meat – 10% 1 serve per week or even per fortnight. You will get enough iron with this amount. Over-consumption of red meat leads to toxic overload in your body. Dairy – 10% 1 serve per third day. (It is best to consume organic goats yoghurt. Otherwise, choose natural quality yoghurts with probiotics. Watch the sugar content! You will get enough calcium provided you eat lots of green vegetables and seaweed products in your cooking.Remember, according to Chinese medicine, too much dairy in your diet can cause a ‘damp’ symptoms. Finally at 40 | Life Begins

Oils: Flaxseed oil, Organic olive oil,Sesame and Soybean oil All Green food: Cereal grasses, alfalfa, Chlorella, kelp

THE MORE GREENS, THE FASTER THE BODY CLEANSES ITSELF, AND THE FURTHER YOU LEAN UP!”

In summary, when we consume the above foods and avoid those that are listed in the table, we are continuously keeping our body in the gentle maintenance of cleansing and detoxing mode. In a nutshell this involves consuming more green vegetables throughout the day! The more greens, the faster the body cleanses itself, and the further you lean up! If you are carrying excess weight, you need to focus mainly on increasing your consumption of plant-based foods of: whole grains, legumes and vegetables.

Vegetables: Broccoli, Asparagus, Artichoke, Garlic Shiitake mushroom, Button mushroom Radish, Sweet potato, Pumpkin, Scallion, White fungus, Celery, Onion, Turnip, Lettuce, Seaweed, Watercress, Corn Herbs and spices: Parsley, Horseradish, Mustard leaf, Marjoram, Black and white pepper, Thyme Seaweeds: Agar, Bladderwrack, Hijiki, Kombu, Kelp Fish: All deep ocean fish Beverages: Green tea, Jasmine tea, Buckwheat tea Peppermint tea

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40 GEEK

SmartPhone Invasion –

Android Vs iPhone® By Donna Hanson There is so much talk about Apple’s iPhone® and Android phones, you might start to think we’d moved back to the 70’s and were being taken over by Space Invaders!! So what is an Android phone? What’s the difference between it and an iPhone® and why don’t we need to worry about our personal safety? Our techno guru, Donna Hanson, has the guff on the stuff. WHAT IS AN ANDROID PHONE? In the 70’s, the only android we knew was the Robot in “Lost in Space”. These days it is a term used to describe a Smart Phone [a phone with the ability to access things such as email, the internet and act as a calendar] that runs Google® developed operating software. Smart Phones are divided into three types/categories: 1.

Apple’s iPhone®

2.

BlackBerry®

3.

Android/Other Phones

The difference between them is the software they run. The pros and cons are many and varied.

IPHONE® Uses Apple’s own iOS [iPhone operating system] to run. Apple’s iOS is only used on the iphone, the software is not used on any other devices or brands such as Nokia, Motorola etc. Applications [also referred to as apps] or programs for the iPhone® are strictly controlled by Apple and can only be downloaded via Apple’s on line “store” known as iTunes® - www.itunes.com.au Developers can submit their applications for “approval” and distribution via iTunes®. This is convenient in that the process of adding tools and applications to your iPhone® is easy as it is all available in one location. The downside with the iPhone® is that it cannot run Flash – the software used to run many on line videos via websites or sites such as YouTube® and it does not have a removable battery.

BLACKBERRY® The BlackBerry® also utilises its own proprietary software called BlackBerry® Device Software. BlackBerry® apps can be downloaded via BlackBerry®’s App World site available via http://appworld.

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blackberry.com/webstore/ Like Apple, the development of apps for the BlackBerry® is controlled. The BlackBerry® has the benefit of having an integrated keyboard, can multi-task, has a removable battery and offers military grade security – something the owners of the BlackBerry® brand RIM [Research in Motion] really focus on.

ANDROID PHONES A range of mobile phone brands who have chosen to run Google’s Android software on their phones. Manufacturers include Nokia, Motorola, HTC and Samsung. Not all phones by these manufacturers run Google’s Android software, some run Microsoft’s Windows Mobile – for example HTC’s Mozart – heavily advertised over the Christmas period in the media, runs Windows Mobile. Samsung and LG also offer smart phones utilising Windows Mobile. BlackBerry® started the onslaught of smart phones and had a very strong corporate market when the smart phone market initiated because of its ease of use and security. The iPhone® very much captured the consumer market and is now considered the phone of choice for many because of its integration of iPod® music capabilities and phone capabilities into one device. If you are looking at a Smart phone for yourself, you need to consider your intended use – business or personal and support. Chat with your friends about what they have and what they like or don’t like. You may also need to chat with your carrier about costs and data download charges. Finally, if you have kids, have a chat with them. After all, when your new smart phone arrives you are going to need someone to set your phone up and transfer all your contacts and numbers across. Why else do we have kids??? Finally at 40 | Life Begins


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End YOUR Weight Problems FOREVER! When it comes to health and fitness, we live in one of the most educated and well-resourced countries in the world. Curiously, we’re also the fattest. My guess is that you, like a vast majority of the population, have probably tried every imaginable diet, weight loss program, pill, shake, meal replacement, starvation method and exercise gadget on the market to lose weight ...... and failed. It’s time to put an end to your discouragement and disappointment – it’s time for you to ‘change YOUR mind’ and become a success story. Being healthy, losing weight and keeping your excess weight off isn’t about dieting, or exercising two hours each day – it’s about making small changes that don’t turn your life upside down. If you want to lose weight and finally create the body you truly desire; if you want to feel fitter and healthier and have more energy every day; if you want to get rid of cravings and control emotional eating or if you want to end your weight problems forever then you are reading this for a reason. You are right where you are supposed to be!

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40 BEAUTY

CLARINS VITAL LIGHT is an anti-

ageing day and night duo collection designed to revive deep luminosity. Formulated for the first time with the revitalising powers of three pioneer plants, Vital Light works to recapture the health and vitality of youthful looking skin. Clarins Vital Light Day Illuminating AntiAgeing Cream All Skin Types 50ml RRP $125 each Vital Light Night Revitalising Anti-Ageing Cream 50ml RRP $130.00 each

ROSEHIP ANTIOXIDANT CREAM, rich in

Indulge Your Skin

The key to youthfulness is looking good and feeling fresh. Our skin is the first to show signs of wear and tear. Like colouring our hair, a good skin care treatment can make us look and feel so much younger and more vibrant. Pamper yourself…

L’ORÉAL PARIS REVITALIFT FACE, CONTOURS & NECK L´Oréal Laboratories have developed a re-meshing support cream for the face and neck… designed to visibly define features and keep skin contours of the face and neck feeling firm and smooth. Revitalift Face, Contours and Neck is enriched with Pro Retinol A, Vitafibrine and double the Elastin* and has been especially designed to support and smooth face and neck skin by reinforcing the skin’s surface structure and reducing the appearance of surface lines and wrinkles. RRP $35.95

L’ORÉAL PARIS REVITALIFT DEEP-SET WRINKLES SPF 15

L’Oréal Paris Revitalift Deep-Set Wrinkles SPF 15 is an advanced anti-ageing formula with specific reparative qualities to help fight against wrinkles, while firming up the fabric of the skin. Revitalift Deep-Set Wrinkles SPF 15 protects skin from UVA rays which are one of the principal causes of premature ageing. Available from pharmacies, department and variety stores, and supermarkets at an RRP $35.95

DR ALKAITIS ORGANIC EYE CREAM This eye cream has a texture to die for!

As well as being organic it rejuvenates and refreshes tired eyes whilst reducing puffiness, dark circles and fine lines. Ingredients include organic Aloe Vera gel, Herbal Eye Renewal Complex wild rose buds, linden blossom, quince, green tea, cornflowers and mate Eye Rejuvenation Support Complex organic jojoba, Andean mountain rose hip seed and borage oils, natural vitamin A, C and full spectrum E. Dr Alkaitis RRP $75 - 100% active ingredients. www.lucioli.com.au

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antioxidants and natural oils from certified organic green tea, seaweed, olive leaf, rosehip and shea butter. Deeply nourishes and hydrates your skin, helps smooth fine lines and wrinkles and minimises the appearance of pores. $59.95 for 50ml www.laviol.com.au

ELLY B ORGANIC SKINCARE DREAM CREAM Formulated with certified organic plant and nut oils, this rich restorative cream hydrates and improves the elasticity of your skin. A powerful blend of active ingredients maximises moisture retention, leaving your skin feeling noticeable smooth and radiant. Especially for dry and mature skin. elly b ORGANIC SKINCARE dream cream 45mls RRP $65

GOLDEN SILK SERUM is a

high performance oil based serum, high in essential fatty acids, vitamins and antioxidants. Ingredients include camellia oil, carrot infused oil, centella oil, avocado oil, hypericum oil, evening primrose oil, frankincense, rose maroc, vitamin A and E to help reduce free radical damage and help reduce the appearance of ageing. Easily absorbed and extremely hydrating, Golden Silk Facial Serum leaves the complexion feeling soft and silky with a healthy glow. RRP $70.00 www.livinia.com.au

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