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T�� G�ea�es�? Get in Touch with Jack Swan www.JackSwan.co.uk / 07974 055529


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t’s our 13th issue and like the Swans I feel we are improving each and every month. I started the magazine a little over a year ago with a crazy idea in my head. At the time there was no magazine in Swansea like it – (or anywhere else for that matter) a free publications which follows the mighty Swans, some jokes which wouldn’t get printed in any other local publications and at least five miss-spelled words and poor grammar each page. The magazine, like the Swans has grown in popularity and as it’s a New Year I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of you who have helped the magazine thrive. You know who you are. I’ve made many a mistakes over the previous twelve issues and while designing this issue I fell across another one - the front page of issue 11. It seems like an age ago when I designed it but it was only a little over two months back. We had just lost three on the bounce to Villa, Everton and Stoke, looked completely clueless and were in complete disarray. The natural front cover was the ‘panic button’ and I threw in a few jibes at Michael Laudrup too, fearing he wasn’t the right man for the job and expecting the very worst. I hold my hands up and although I’ve promised myself to never fall in love with another manager again, he can do very little wrong in my eyes at the moment and I’m feeling lucky to have him as our manager. It shows how confidence has changed as it is January and with it is the transfer window. Yet although we are in a higher mid-table position in the league we are all looking forward to who is coming in to take us to the ‘next level’ as against fearing those leaving. Rumours of players in certainly outweigh the rumours out and there are still some crazy David Villa rumour going round. Crazy, but just that their there helps show our progression. I expect a couple of new faces, Danny Graham has staked his claim to keep the shirt for a couple of months more but talks are that there is a lot of interest in the Geordie striker and a high bid would go some way towards getting in a top European striker. Apart from Graham, I can’t really see any of the main match day squad leaving. Moore and Lita seem destined to leave and Mark Gower, if anyone can find him. Where is he? Enjoy the issue, its pretty jam packed. I always apreciate feedback to help improve the mag so get in touch. Best wishes for 2013

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What people said on Facebook and Twitter when asked, is Leon the greatest?

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As Swansea celebrate their 100th year in football it is clear that nobody has seen every player, watched every match and can therefore rightfully comment on who the greatest Swansea player of all time is. What they can do is comment on the greatest player they have ever seen in a Swans shirt and for me that man is Leon Britton.

Dublin Jack As The Swans have progressed over the last decade, Leon has been an integral part of that progression. He has been a standout performer from League 2 to the Prem oozing class and epitomizing all that is good about Swansea City FC

A truly great player is noticed as much when not there as they are when there and I don’t feel that can be said for any current player in any team in the Premiership as it can for Swansea and Leon Britton.

Alun Krem-Szczesniak A class act, but not the greatest ever.

At thirty years of age, he has clocked up over 400 games for the Swans in four different divisions. Looking back it’s hard to remember that he joined us as an attackive player who could play on the wing. His silky skills went down well in the lower leagues and in his early years with the Swans he chipped in with his fair share of goals and created a lot more.

Vetch TheGnome Not the greatest for me sorry... Great player, but not the greatest Robert Day Leon britton a true swans legend in my eyes and a true jack bastard Ben Abrahams Couldn't choose between him and freestone in terms of what they have done for the club, trundle has to get an honorable mention too. Ben Beynon: Say no more than the fans chants of 'Leon, Leon, Leon!' Count ourselves lucky he came back and more importantly, wanted to come back!

He mops up and recycles the ball better than anyone else in the league, bringing every player into play. His passes are in all directions, generally short, always precise and always with a calm persona. He has a great ability to get in-between ball and opposition. Where as 6 foot plus players use their additional height as an advantage, Leon uses his lack of height to this advantage and is somehow able to sneak in-front of players and pinch the ball, almost unnoticed at times.

As he and Swansea improved, he found himself in the more pinnacle role of central midfield and this is where his love for the ball became obvious. Developing a footballing cultural relationship with Roberto Marthinez took his and Swansea’s style of play to a new level. The idea that it was when Roberto became manager of Swansea that the club became a ‘footballing side’ is a clear myth as the side enjoyed a passing style of play with the Spaniard playing in it. Its true that Marthinez took this to a new level by putting the extra man in midfield and concentrating on possession football but Leon was essential to this style of play and without him there is no way that it could have been implemented to such an extent. So it was no surprise that Judas wanted the 5 foot 5 midfielder when he left to take over at Wigan. This was the start of a downward relationship between club and player and lead to Leon’s refusal to sign a contract and his regrettable free transfer move to Sheffield United. Now if there were ever a club and player less suited to each other it was the Blades and Mr Britton, who spent his 6 months with a bad neck watching the ball launched over his head to the big centre forwards. Leon returned to work under Brendan for the first time and team up with a more

Left: Cardiff City’s latest attraction

Right: Michu Puppy Not Just for Xmas


Leon Britton Greatst Ever? Continued established Joe Allen, scoring a couple of important goals on our way to promotion. It was with Allen that the former West Ham and Arsenal player set up a Premiership midfield partnership to dominate possession and get plaudits from all corners. A better pass completion rate than Xavi got more paper attention yet it was Allen who got the big money love to Liverpool and still no England call up for Leon. Post Allen and with Michael Laudrup at the helm, the little maestro has continued to do his stuff and continued to be over looked by his country. It has become increasingly clear that he needs Swansea as much as Swansea need him, that as greater player as he is, Swansea are designed to play around him and he to play for Swansea. There are many players to thank for our rise over the last decade as there were under Toshack but no player has been so instrumental in both our ability and our style of play as our current number seven. At no point, in any league has he been a ‘stand out’ talent, always quietly doing his job and his job slowly and gradually becoming increasingly important. The Michu’s of this world will come and go but let’s be sure that we have a statue in waiting for the day Leon calls time at SA1….but not before we get at least another 250 games out of him. Discuss this on PlanetSwans at http://alturl.com/muqm3

We leaked this article to Planet Swans first and AberJabber responded with:-

The only part I disagree with is what led to Leon going to Sheffield, that was down to Sousa as far as I'm concerned, him and Leon didn't get on.

The rest of it is bang on, Leon is ours, a Londoner by birth but a Jack by adoption. I hope he has at least 4 more good years in him. Of all our players (including Michu) I think Leon will be the hardest to replace. And, like I hoped for Monk and Tate, when he hangs up his boots I hope he has done his coaching badges and is given a job here. Continuity is one of our greatest assets. Players and managers come and go, but Swansea City's mantra remains the same. Leon Britton, you're a Jack and you know you are.

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six point rant...time for me to let go..

We have a chance to make Swansea City FC and Swansea into a brand, a massive international brand, lets get behind it and promote what we have got. a) Let's improve the main road from the Liberty into Swansea. I mean the road through the Hafod. What a run down route from the City it is. I've walked it many times as have thousands every week, lets turn it into a boulevard of dreams, a nice stroll before and after a cracking game of footy. Open cafes, nice broadleaf trees, minimal traffic, maybe even a cable car to Wind street. Why not? b) more space for car parking, fans are now getting fined by traffic wardens, traffic chaos every week. c) Commercially the people running the club shop are naive. I want a medium Swansea football top, I don't want Xl or small. Surely a lot more of popular sizes should be ordered and if they run out, order more. I don't think they've got it right in 3 years of trying. Why is so much of the shop devoted to the Ospreys? 10% of the crowds therefore 10% of the shop allocation. d) Tickets, what a shambles, just trawl the internet to find confusion and mayhem trying to buy/renew tickets. Also too expensive and not enough availability, extension please. e) When I want a drink I don't want to pay ridululous money for a coke or a beer, SCFC get a grip of the money grabbing gits who profit from true fans. If I was a guest and served beer like that I'd leave. f ) Also the toilets and cafe way to close in the east stand, revise layouts, paint the walls, murials, giant posters, just spend a relatively small amount on making fans feel like it truly is their home, not like animals who beg for treats. I completely and utterly love the Swans, these are my own thoughts, you may agree, you may not. Please, let us know what you think.


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And then there was the transfer window and as ever our best players are in demand and linked to ‘bigger’ teams. Grass is always greener but who was the last person who made the right move in leaving the Swans?

Lost

Lee Trundle: He lit up the dark ages of being a Swans fan scoring some wonder goals and some silky skills. His life long dream of playing in the premiership lead him to a one million pound move to Bristol City. He never found the form which he had at SA1 and although returned on a short term loan could never find that magic spark. Currently injured at Preston North End.

Jason Scotland: The only player to make Lee Trundle look two footed, Jason Scotland banged them in for the Swans and Judas took him to Wigan for some premier league football. He never forced his way into the first team, got a move back to the championship with Ipswich and I rarely hear his name on Soccer Saturday these days.

Suicide Watch

Where is he now?

Dorus De Vries: ‘the difference between Swansea and Wolves is that Swansea hope to stay up and Wolves expect to’ ummm..... The difference between you and Vorm is that Vorm is the Netherlands number 2 and the Dutch manager doesn’t even know you exist (I don’t feel that I need to go into any detail here).

Darren Pratley: Played a major part in our promotion party and then opted to join Bolton on a free transfer. Back in the championship, I’m sure he regrets signing that contract.

Forgotten

Sam Ricketts: A long with Pratley, he has returned to the championship with Bolton but unlike the others he did get a few good premiership seasons in before relegation. Although now a division lower, he must have been happy with his move.

Good Move

Robinson: He wanted to play in the championship, ideally for Leeds but if they lost Who ate Andy their play-off final he wanted to stay with the Swans who were already promoted. Mr Jenkins let him wait until after the play-off final to decide and so Andy signed for Leeds, all the pies? wouldn’t who lost the final. He’s now put on more weight and plays for Tranmere.

Rich

Joe Allen: A move to Liverpool is a dream for any boyhood Man United fan and it started well, with him being singled out as the one good player in a poor team. The side’s fortunes have improved while his own level has dropped. He’s at a bit of a cross roads at the moment. Time will tell. Those who never signed:-

Jordi Gomez: When Judas went to the latics it seemed inevitable that Jordi would go with him. He’s been instrumental in their survival over the past few seasons and must be happy with his move.

Unconvinced

Loved

Gilfi Sigurdsen: Not set the world alight as he did here at the start of 2012. Its still early days and time will tell but with Dempsey, Dembele, Bale, Lennon, Parker, Huddleston, Sandro, Townsend and that other kid who got in the England squad all fighting for 4 places he may not get the time on the pitch he wants.

Left: Jack Swan TV’s advent calendar Right: Competition Time. Whose foot is this, a) Dyer b)Michu c) someone else!

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Sh��l� ���� st�� �� Sh��l� ���� g�? Our Great Dane has spoken about wanting competition for places and having 2 players for every position. I expect in reality we will want 3 goal keepers and 3 strikers and then 2 per posoition. This is how I see us in each position and I must say for the first time in my memory we have a half decent second eleven, certainly a second eleven which would push for promotion in the championship. Am I wrong or right? Discuss these ratings at http://alturl.com/vbap2

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Unit 14, SA1 Business Park, Langdon Rd, Swansea, SA1 8QY

Davies 7.5/10 He’s been brilliant and keeps getting better, starting to overlap his winger with confidence.

Vorm 7/10 Not the superhero that he was this time last year but still a top keeper.

Williams 7/10 Getting back to his very best after a slow start and a few very sloppy back passes. Chico 7.5/10 A foolish early red card got us a bit worried but he’s looking the business at the moment. Rangel 7.5/10 Had a couple of poor games after I claimed he was the best right back in the league but has been brilliant.

Britton 7.5/10 Mr consistent and very noticeably missed when not in the team. The best player to ever wear the shirt. JDG 7/10 A decent goal scoring record and a great delivery. A bit hot and cold but improving. Sign him up. Ki 6.5/10 He’s had a tough time of late and seems very sloppy at times. Has real quality and the ability to be a real talent.

Routledge 7.5/10 In the form of his life, scoring and creating goals and looking dangerous and making something happen in almost every game.

Michu 9/10 Arguably the best player in the league thus far. Scores goals, brings players into the game and a real handful.

Hernandez 8/10 He looks a different level again. Took him a few games after no real pre-season but if he is a real quality player.


Dyer 6/10 Frustratingly poor of late. Started the season well but hasn’t enjoyed the competition for his place.

Graham 6/10 Sheckter 5.5/10 Neither have set the world alight and I expect someone to be brought in, maybe two strikers.

Winger I expect another winger to come in with only 3 recognised players to cover that position and Dyer being on poor form.

Agustien 6.5/10 MOM v Man Utd followed by a poor performance against Fulham. Splits opinion but a good squad player. Midfielder With Michu playing a more advanced role we are clearly short a bit of cover in centre midfield. Moore 6/10 He must be annoyed with lack of chances after starting the season well. Versatility may keep him his job.

Tiendalli 7/10 Pushing both full backs for a first team spot. Great going forward. Looked a bit lost against Fulham. Monk 7.5/10 Mr dependable. Quality whenever called upon and has been apart of a few great performances and results this season. Bartley ? Injury has prevented him from playing any football since his debut v Barnsley. Time will tell but no need for cover. Left Back: With Taylor to come back, Davies doing so well and Tiendalli able to fill in at Left back I don’t expect or want extra cover

Tremmel 7.5/10 Possibly our best goal keeper on current form. Certainly didn’t let us down at any point and a reliable keeper.


J��e� B� S��n��

My mates missus left him last Thursday. She said she was going out for a pint of milk and never came back. I asked him how he was coping and he said, "not bad, I've been using that powdered stuff." I'm so excited. Only three more Chelsea managers until Christmas! After all these years the birth mark I've had on my left arse cheek turns out to be a cigar burn! How's about that then! BBC News: Bad drivers to face £100 fines Seems a bit sexist to me that Prince Harry has been given the task of naming the new baby he said if the baby is a girl she will be called Denise, and if its a boy Denephew! I went to the pub last night and saw a fat bird dancing on a table, I said to her "Good legs" The girl giggled and said with a smile "Do you really think so?" I said "Definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now" My main hope for 2004 is to clear up my dementia issues. There are 10 types of people that understand the binary number system - those that do & those that don't I have just created a new website for female drivers. Problem is, it keeps crashing. What do you call a sleeping bull.. A bulldozer. A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen." "That's a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name..?" "No," she replied. As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most - cars and men. Therefore I chose "Carmen". "What's your name..?" she asked. He answered "B.J. Titsengolf." My mate just told me he's sleeping with twins I said how do you tell them apart he said Ann's got long blond hair and Bills got a beard. I won the meat raffle in the pub..... .....wasn't the answer my kids were expecting when they asked how I met their mother.


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Here on Jack swan we like to appear intellectual. How many of you know what a PARAPROSDOKIANS is? (Winston Churchill loved them.) I had to look up "paraprosdokian". Here is the definition: "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian. 1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list. 3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong. 5. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public. 6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left. 7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. 9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. 10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. 11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks. 12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.' 13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. 15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. 16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory. 17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. 18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. 19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. 20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure. 21. You're never too old to learn something stupid. 22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. 23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. 24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 26. Where there's a will, there's relatives.


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We asked folk on Facebook and Twitter what they thought about our need for a leader. Are we missing a leader on the field?

Julian L Mallows

our tempo is fine!!! as for leader..I think ash is more than capable

Katie 'Scfc' Gaule

I dont think we need a leader, the boys communicate well with each other to see if anything is going wrong. Ashley Williams is a great captain

Meuryn Nelson Williams is fine

Kayrene Griffiths

D� W� N�e� � Lea���?

1-0 up against an inexperienced, young Aston Villas side who are playing away from home and have conceded fifteen goals in their last three games without reply. Battered in every part of the pitch for the first twenty minutes, Aston Villa regroup and are arguably unfortunate to concede a ninety forth minute equaliser. Credit to Villa? To an extent yes, the leadership shown on the field to get back into that game after the run they were on was impressive. However looking closer to home, if we have had that leadership on that field then I don’t think they would have had a look in. I’ve been drumming on about this for over a year now and I feel that it needs to be addressed. Before I go on, we’ve had a great season thus far and I am very content with our league position and our cup run. It seems that I have to mention this before intending to slightly criticise any minute part of our set-up as not doing so results in scathing attacks about how we’re still progressing, I have poor eye sight and I’m a spoilt twelve year old playing house. On too many occasions this season we have dropped points which we shouldn’t have done. By that I don’t mean simply that on paper we should be beating the likes of Reading home and away but when you’re in a position as we were against Aston Villa, anything other than three points is a mild disaster. It seems like an age ago but on our trips away against Reading and Southampton we battered them for the first ten to fifteen minutes, completely taking the games to them, dominating possession and looking at ease and yet in both games, as with Villa at home we totally took our foot of the gas, let them back into it and in all three cases were fortunate to escape with a draw.

Think they doing Fab as they are, the boys gel well and have fantastic communication between themselves

We seem incapable of changing a game during a match like Aston Villa did at the Liberty. Norwich battered us in the first half and looked better than us all over the park. The same eleven players came out in the second half after a ‘team talk’ (which I hoped involved Curtis kicking boots at them) and destroyed Norwich and were unfortunate not to get at least a draw. Why couldn’t someone on the pitch take control? Before we were three goals down.

Kevin Evans yeah think

I’m a huge fan of both Monk and Williams. Their assets as captain are obvious. Both represent the club very well off the field, have a calming influence and have experienced the lower leagues which give a more rounded feel to the club. Obviously Monk isn’t a first choice starter and so on most occasions it is the former Stockport player who wears the captains armband on the field.

so and williams aint vocal enough

Arthur Bishop Ashley williams leads by example and the communication amongst the team is ok

Tim Rendell Yep !! How's that for brief ?? In definite need of a Roy Keane figure head, without the murderous tackles though Vince Hotten No one dishes out the bollockings like Leon Vincent, not sure they could afford his wages though! (look out for Jack Swan TV to get what that last one is about)

Come match day I don’t see Williams dishing out the Roy Kean type roaring attacks at fellow players to get the very best out of them and I don’t see it from any other player on the field. Michu is possibly the only one I see who constantly wears his heart on his sleeve during the bad times and raises his and other peoples games around him. But it’s hard for him to do it from his advanced role. January will bring its usual rumours of players coming in and departures and centre midfield appears to be an area where we are pretty solid however if the likes of Leon, Ki and JDG cannot add some leadership to their attributes then I wouldn’t be too disappointed if ML finds someone who has. Discuss further on PlanetSwans at http://alturl.com/9xj89

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We asked folk on Facebook and Twitter what they thought about the potential of Cardiff In the Prem. Would it be all a bad thing? @publicmouse

Cardiff in the prem would be BRILLIANT - we could kick ‘em back down!

@garethmthomas

The only good thing to come of it would be the fact we'd only have to find a further 34 points from somewhere next season.

Craig Wilkinson 6 points for the swans every season Darren Scfc Rendall it be good for wales 2 welsh teams in the premiership

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It’s looking good for the red birds as it has on many occasions in the past and although we all know their going to screw it up, let’s just entertain ourselves and contemplate that come May they don’t fall at the final hurdle and they actually have the balls to finish the job and go up – I know its hard to imagine but lets just run with it a minute. Would it all be a bad thing? I think it would be a disaster if we were to go down, a complete disaster and not just because none of us would be able to leave the house through embarrassment. At present we are the team in Wales, we are grabbing new geographical areas. It wasn’t too long ago that Port Talbot was the halfway split, we can now claim half of Bridgend and by the end of the season we may have the posh village of Cowbridge under our wings (although who wants that snotty nose, upper class Mumbles wannabee to be associated with us anyway) But assuming we stayed up, finished tenth and then our local neighbours came to Premier league party, would it all be bad? The first thing I want to think about when looking at any teams coming up or staying up is whether we will finish above them next year. It’s hard to know what backing they have and what they haven’t but I don’t think they will be able to spend massively as they still have debts which need to be paid. Their current squad is clearly inferior to ours and I think it would take huge amounts of investment for them to have a squad able to challenge with us for league position and I don’t really think they will be able to. So if promoted its nice to know that we’ll be sure to finish above at least one side. The ‘its good for Wales argument’ for them to go up, which rugby supporters who take a slight interest in football always seem to use is an interesting one. Maybe a fair one for the whole of Wales, it is difficult to argue that it wouldn’t help put Wales on the map, that two Welsh Premier league derbies wouldn’t attract some extra attention from around the world and support Wales in various ways in doing so. But I don’t really give a flying toss about Wales, this isn’t Rugby.

Tim Rendell Not a bad

I’d prefer Swansea on the map, that when people around the world hear about Wales they think about Swansea and Swansea alone because that’s the only place worth going to. If it is true that Cardiff going up will ‘be good for Wales’ then we all know what that has meant in the past- its good for the Capital. Instead of visit Swansea advertising everywhere it will be Visit Wales and its capital.

Kyle Scfc Thomas be

I must admit that after looking forward to a league derby for over a decade when the days actually came, I hated them. So much lies on the ninety minutes that I struggled to enjoy them in the slightest. The fear of losing outweighs the thrill of winning and as much as there are now a couple of missing dates in the calendar: I’m quite happy . Plus the tides have now turned, where as when we played them in the Championship, we were the promoted team who had to endure the spotlight being on them as the ‘best team in Wales’ and all that frustration and passion which we felt. A premiership derby would be flipped. It would be us with the pressure and expectation and them as the battling underdogs.

thing at all, it may bring a little solidarity, when being surrounded by all the English teams !!

fun to have a welsh derby in the prem + 2 easy wins

Swansea Loyal great!!! battered every week! FACT

Vetch TheGnome as long as their fans behave, we've built a good reputation as a set of fans who can have a good day out, don't need to be tarred with the same brush if they start playing up. Matthew Vincent yes welsh media wouldnt shut up about it.. theyll muck it up anyway ha ha

Apart from a guaranteed spot in the relegation zone being filled, I can’t see any reason to be happy if the boys in purple get their desired dream. It would be nice to keep claiming more of their fans should they remain in the championship but should they go up, it won’t really matter. And lets face it, we all know their going to choke come May....they always do. Discuss this on PlanetSwans @ http://alturl.com/qnddn

When will the wheels come off Cardiffs promotion hopes?


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19


‘I’�� ���� �r��n� ��� w��l� �n� f��n� �ha� ���� s���i� �e���� ��� ��ea��n�’ Surely in 2013 the only people idiotic enough to be racist are the sons and daughters of other racist idiots? I was so embarrassed to hear about the imbecile who racially abused Bassong when Norwich came to the Liberty in December and although I was pleased with how the club dealt with finding him and escorting him I have to wonder why somebody would feel comfortable enough at our ground to do it in the first place. Would he feel comfortable doing this ‘monkey chant’ elsewhere? in Tesco? in a swimming pool? In Court? I doubt it. Why? Because it is clearly totally unacceptable and it has to be deemed completely unacceptable in football, not just by the powers at be, not just by the stewards and police but by all decent football fans. The vast majority of football fans agree that this behaviour should be stamped out but we all need to be more vocal against racism, more brave, speak out and help kick these idiots out.

We should all be the ‘Prince’ I have huge admiration for Kevin Prince Boateng and will support any player, black or white for walking off a pitch when any racism is present. I think its only a matter of time before players and clubs form a breakaway organisation from FIFA if they continue to be completely inept at dealing with this issue and Seb Blatters latest condemnation of Boateng proves quite how out of touch he and FIFA are. It is a new year, 2013 and it really is time that we kicked this out. If you’re a racist please, please, go to the doctor and get a vasectomy and don’t inflict other generations with your idiotic point of view.

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We asked those on Twitter and Facebook what they thought of Dyer and here is what they said:@Swanseapassion Dyer on form is electric, has amazing elasticity and gets bums off seats, one of our most exciting wingers in recent history. Tim Rendell He is indeed like his surname suggests !! Alun Krem-Szczesniak Not the player he was last season, not really benefiting from playing narrower Emyr Evans Should be using his pace more than we do Robert Day Class player what he cost us , and look at other wingers who cost more and not half as good as our nath fact Robert Melen Dyer compared to last season. Steve Watts Consistent hungry for success gives 100 % every game match winner Simon Scfc Dale great player, one of the reasons why swans have stayed in the premiership and we're they are today, got everything you need as a winger, pace, skill, dribbling, shooting, cuts inside, take on his man, his crossing isn't bad either, good all round player

D��� – a� �es�?

This time last year I heard a rumour of a big money bid from Newcastle for our speed merchant. At the time as well as preying that Huw wasn’t tempted with the money, I was outraged that he kept being overlooked for an England cap and manager after manager kept opting for Stuart Downing over our reformed handbag thief. Over these twelve months there is no getting away from the fact that Dyer has gone backwards and is currently struggling for form. I know some of you will now be clinching the old motto of ‘form is temporary and class is permanent’ and while I agree with this motto, I dare ask myself quite how much class Nathan has or ever had. At the start of last season I told a plastic that Nathan is great but has no end product, a woeful shot and a very hit or miss cross. Dyer then went on a little run of scoring and a few valuable assists, proving me wrong and he’s banged in a couple this season too. But I think it’s still clear that his end product is far from the best part of his game. He is lighting, not just in a straight line and over a long distance but over a couple of feet in all directions. Over the years he has won so many free-kicks and penalties through his pace and I doubt any full back really wants to mark him. His work rate is also brilliant and he and Angel Rangel have a great understanding and Nathan looks a lot better player with the Spaniard behind him. It wasn’t that long ago that the former Southampton player, while on form, ripped Patrice Evra apart but things always work for a player on form, the ball will drop at your feet, the ricochets always fall nicely to you and the referee watches the same game as your optimistic self. It’s when you’re not on form that it all goes against you and some players can deal with a loss of form better than others. A striker goes a few games without scoring, a defender makes a couple of howlers, a central midfielder makes a few sloppy passes but I think it really hurts a player who is the kind of winger Dyer is. When your game is predominantly running at people and getting behind the defence it is very easy to lose the ball, whether you are Messi, Ronaldo or Nathan Dyer you are all hoping that the defender doesn’t guess the way you’re going and win the ball but sometimes, no matter how good you are, they do. And so when Dyer finds himself out of a bit of form and things aren’t going his way, the defender guesses right more often, he loses the ball more frequently, the crowd start to grumble and he get into dangerous positions less often. It is then that you really want to rely on a consistent end product which Dyer sadly lacks. So even when luck goes with him for a change, the defender guesses wrong and he skips past him, his cross still finds the back row. Where as last season he was getting twelve chances to find a good cross, this year he’s lucky to get three or four and of late none are finding the right target. The penalty challenge against Villa was (and being kind) useless, it was so incredibly sloppy, stupid and clearly from a player where nothing was going right. Having said that, if it had happened to a player on form the linesman could easily have been kinder, but that’s the way it goes. He is trying too hard, trying to force something to happen and I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that his form has dropped since the arrival of Hernandez and the form of Routledge. Some players need competition to avoid complacency; others and I believe Dyer is in this bracket, needs to be loved and appreciated. He’s got a big few months ahead of him which will decide how his career will pan out. He’s been a great servant over the years and I don’t want to come across as bashing him because I do rate the player and hope to keep hold of him. But I think that Swansea are establishing themselves as a good premiership team and I’m not convinced that Dyer will ever be worshiped as the stand out player he was during our promotion winning season or the early premiership games. He can either deal with this and learn how to play well as a good squad player and try and force himself into the starting eleven or if he really needs to be the main man then I think he needs to look else where.


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3) 4) 5) Massive thanks to Emma’s son Jack for coming up with these and last months quiz too, we gave Emma the credit but all the time it was her son who was the genius behind them. Good work Jack. Results to last months quiz are available at www.jackswan.co.uk Well done to Shelley, Allison, Lynda and Chicken from the Malsters Cwmbwrla for getting them right last tim out, see I did rememner :) Make your own Quiz for Jack Swan? We’re all out of questions. We need your help. I’m struggling eac issue. Get us some ideas of new people and how to do them. Text in your answers and your ideas to 07974 055529 T� A����i�� �� Ja�� Sw�� c�ntac� 07974 0��529

23


R��� R����w� f�� C�ic� �� C�n�����l� The Grand theatre put on an outstanding production of Cinderella featuring Swansea city’s very own Chico Flores. On some occassions, Chico was playing football at the Liberty stadium and nipping back and fore to the city centre to say his lines during quiet spells of the match. ‘It was a challenge’ said the Swansea centre half, ‘to be honest I blamed myself for us only getting a draw against Man United becasue when they scored I was enthraulled by Kevin Johns cleavage and was a bit late in getting back on the pitch’.

And on a move to the big screen ‘It’s something I have thought about but will wait untill I hang up my boots’. There will be no shortage of offers for when that day comes, Quinten Tarantino, Steven Speilberg and Martin Scorsese all fighting over his future services. It is reported that Nike offered Chico 45 Zillion pounds to shoot a thirty second advert with him pointing a gun at TIger Woods. ‘I don’t do guns’ said Chico. ‘Guns kill’. Yes they do Chico, yes they do, brave true words from the Swansea City star.

10 dubious facts about Chico By Simon Robbins

1.He used to be in a Spanish boy band with Fernando Torres and Cesc Fabregas. They were called La Patatas Bravas. 2. Before every match he listens to ‘Crazy Horses’ by the Osmonds on repeat for 2 hours, to get himself pumped up. 3.When he retires he plans to open a chorizo restaurant in Andalusia called Chicorizo. 4. He can run 100m in 9.5 seconds. Garry Monk is jealous. 5.Ex-Swan Guillem Bauza now works part time as Chico’s personal beard trimmer. 6.Before he settled for football, his childhood dream was to be a dancer in Las Vegas. 7. He holds the world record for the number of Ferrero Rocher eaten in a minute. Twelve. 8. His favourite player as a child was Swansea legend Jonathan Coates, brother of Liverpool defender Sebastian Coates. 9.His favourite TV programme is Loose Women, he loves to watch it after a gruelling training session 10. When playing for his school team, he vowed not to cut his hair until the team conceded a goal. They were unbeaten that season, and didn’t concede a single goal all season. Chico played Rapunzel in the school play that year.

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Jack Swan Fantasy Football League WINNER IN DECEMBER

In December it was Gareth Shaw who managed to get more points than any other. We tried a last minute, pre-deadline aproach to get his thoughts on how proud he was to with the win but didn’t get a reply in time, we did get a reply from his mate though :@Barryshirtk wat the feck ga?? Tell em how proud I was of u wen you lifted Jan above waist height when we got to the play off final I looked through Gareths recent tweets looking for an embarrising one to post and I didn’t have to look too far:‘I can't believe I contemplated relegating The Backstreet Boys out of my Top 5 Bands!! Never again will I be so stupid! #Legends’ If someone who chose the backstreet boys in their top 5 albums can win then surerly anyone can. If you haven’t already join Jack Swan fantasy league:Visit:www.fantasy.premierleague.com League Code: 309794-201235

PHOTO COMPETITION Spenser has been on about us having a photo competition in the magazine for ages. What put me off is he wanted to offer £5 reward to the winning photo. Now, I don’t want to suggest I’m unorganised but the only people to actually ever physically receive their winning T-Shirts from the fantasy football league are people who I know and so have This Photo was chosen as the best photo in the been able to use the ‘I’m working’ Premier League in 2012 If the person who took the card to the missus while meeting photo had sent it into Jack Swan they would have won nothing. Absolutely Nothing them in the pub with the T-Shirt. So I’m going to do the photo competition without any prize. Send us in your photo’s of the swans and of football and we will publish the best ones each issue. Spenser fancies himself as a bit of a clever snapper so please send in better ones than him (think that’s why he wanted a cash reward)

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Had your share of 58 million pound? The money tree which is Premiership football has supposedly fallen all over the city, with a recent study estimating that it has developed 58 million pound for businesses in and around Swansea (and not all for Rossi’s Chip Shop). This very magazine is benefitting from our premiership status with huge followings both online and through people reading the magazine around the city. So make sure that you are having your share of the money!! If you have a business in the city get in touch and get an advert in Jack Swan magazine and make sure the money leaves are dropping on you

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Cheers to Steve Thomas for editing some of our photos this issue. Please check out: www.facebook.com/groups/swanseacityprideofwales/ and www.facebook.com/swanseacityyoujackbastard


Ra�� t� Pl���� � ��� Ye��

Michu: This time last year our goalkeeper was strolling away with this award. Maybe it says a lot about how we have come that there will be no disagreement when I say our forward thinking Michu has been our best player thus far this season. Its been released recently how many clubs turned down the chance to sign the Spaniard and Fergie himself has criticised his Spanish scouting network for letting him slip through their net. He’s strong, great in the air, fantastic movement and anticipation and a calm finish. He’s also a clear winner and wears his heart on his sleeve. Brilliant player.

1st

Pablo: Very little pre-season training and an injury has made it a slightly

2nd

stop-start season but I saw enough in the few games he was fit in to get excited about the slight winger. You can see how he has achieved caps for arguably the greatest national side to ever grace the planet and even though the likes of Matta and David Silva struggle to cement a place in the Spanish set-up, I expect Pablo to kick a ball for his national side once again. Can score with both feet, can cross and make dangerous, delicate touches while running at full pace and is just a joy to watch. As long as he stays fit, I’m expecting a big second half of the season – get him in your fantasy team.

Ben Davies: I’ve never seen a ducklings first experience of water but the

3rd

saying suggests that it’s quite a seamless progress and the Seven Sisters schooled boy has taken to life in the most watched league in the world with complete ease and how I imagine a duck would to the wet stuff. He’s still progressing; he’s more confident and meaningful with his forward, overlapping runs and looks comfortable defensively. I’d have to say that he looks a better player than Taylor.

Greatest Britton!!!!!!!! (Fact this time)

We asked Facebookers, Twitter tweeting tweeters and Planet Swans finest (and JackFlack :P ) who our best player was in the calendar year of 2012. A few players got mentioned, ‘in Vorm we trust’, the on-fire Michu and our very own Ben Davies but there were two stand out players in Ashley Williams and Leon Britton - with Leon narrowly getting the award It’s clearer with each game Leon misses quite how important he is to the team. Nobody has the same anticipation as to where the ball is going than the little maestro and we all know how rare it is that he gives the ball away. His 2012 will be split to the ‘with and without Joe Allen year’. Last season he was crucial in the duo ensuring close to 60% possession each game, rarely making a pass over 20 yards or in the oppositions half for that matter. This season, without the safety of another likeminded player, he is almost the sole line of defence before the back four. Having said that, as the side push forward under Laudrup and put pressure onto the opposition Leon has found himself further up the field at times and making more ambitious passes. Captained the side for the first time verse Arsenal away. I can’t say he’s the best ever but I can say with confidence that the 2012 Jack Swan Player of the year is Leon Britton.

Did you know? Barcelona player Xavi keeps a photo of Leon Britton in his wallet with the words ‘Uno Ceresco’ meaning ‘One Day’. This motivates him to train harder and one day be as good as Leon


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01792 182 Neath Road, Swansea, 2JT439212• www.mpnwindows.com Tel: 01656 648464 orSA1 01446 Showrooms at:the 10a Ewenny Road, Bridgend CF31 3HL • Unit 2, Leckwith Road, Cardiff CF11 8AP (Opposite Liberty Stadium) 359244

ALL NETWORK VEKA PRODUCTS COME WITH A 10-YEAR GUARANTEE.

HUGE Y R A U N JA

E L A SEVENT!


January JackSwan