Earth, Wind and Toi
COVER STORY p. 9 Toi Moore: A local celebrity wife defines her own identity
DANCE, DANCE, DANCE! p. 17 Alias Movement Center offers adult dance and fitness classes
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Go Red for Women: Celebrating 10 Years of Saving and Changing Lives For more than a decade, women have been fighting heart disease individually and together as part of the American Heart Association’s (AHA) Go Red for Women movement. Since 2004 more than 627,000 women’s lives have been saved. Despite this significant progress, heart disease is still the number one killer of women, claiming the lives of 1,100 women each day, which is more than all forms of cancer combined. Heart disease is referred to as the silent killer because most women don’t recognize symptoms of a heart attack until it’s too late. Well-known heart attack symptoms can include chest pain and radiating discomfort in the left arm. But there are additional ways your body may tell you when something isn’t quite right, potentially with your heart. Watch for these warning signs: •
Shortness of breath: Women often struggle to breathe a few weeks before experiencing a heart attack
Back pain: Irregular pain in the lower or upper back can indicate stress to the heart muscle
Jaw pain: Pain radiating to the neck, jaw and back
Nausea: Flu-like symptoms are often reported weeks and days before a heart attack
Trust your instincts: Go to your local emergency room if you do not feel normal or experience any of these symptoms. In the event you are having a heart attack, it is far better to take early precautions and prevent damage to your heart.
Tips for a Healthy Heart To think of heart disease as your leading health threat is scary until you factor in the good news—you can take significant steps to reduce your risk. The AHA recommends Life’s Simple 7™ to improve your heart health: 1. Get active: Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate physical activity each day, five times a week. 2. Eat better: A heart-healthy diet is low in saturated and trans fat, cholesterol, sodium and added sugars. It is high in whole grain fiber, lean protein, and a variety of fruits and vegetables. 3. Lose weight: If your BMI (body mass index) is 25.0 or higher, you will benefit by bringing your number below 25. 4. Stop smoking: If you want to live a long and healthy life, break the nicotine addiction. 5. Manage blood pressure: Keep blood pressure levels to less than 120/80. Uncontrolled high blood pressure can harm or kill you. 6. Control cholesterol: If your cholesterol is 200 mg/dL or higher, you need take action. High cholesterol can cause blocked arteries, which could lead to a heart attack. 7. Reduce blood sugar: If your fasting blood sugar level is below 100, you are in the healthy range. If not, you may have pre-diabetes or diabetes, which has been shown to increase the chances of a heart attack or stroke. To learn how to get involved locally in the Go Red for Women movement, visit www.heart.org/inlandempire or call 310.424.4160.
Photo submitted by local photographer Kristi Harris, taken at Glen Arbor Park in Murrieta.
IN THIS ISSUE
9 COVER STORY Earth, Wind and Toi
To Submit Material For story ideas, inquiries, letters to the editor, photos of local scenes, Girls Next Door submissions, questions or comments, email: email@example.com
12 WOMEN’S WELLNESS Take Care of Your Face 13 INNER FASHIONISTA Date Night 14 ABOUT A GIRL An Accidental Sanctuary 16 SHE SAID/HE SAID 17 BUSINESS SAVVY Alias Movement Center
For Advertising For advertising contact David Mains: 951.319.4000 firstname.lastname@example.org Visit Us Read the full copy of LoLa Magazine online: ireadlola.com Connect with Us Like us on Facebook: Facebook.com/ireadlola Follow us on Twitter: @ireadlola
19 SINGLE IN THE VALLEY 20 TAMMY’S TABLE Dark Chocolate Tofu Mousse 21 GIRLS NEXT DOOR Local Ladies Strike a Pose for LoLa Magazine
Cover photo by Amy Dawnelle
An Accidental Sanctuary 4•
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CELEBRATE ST. PATRICK S DAY ON THE GREENS!
A WORD FROM THE PUBLISHER Let’s paint this town RED! It’s February. So much happens this month. February 7 is National Wear Red Day in conjunction with American Heart Month. We also observe Black History Month, Presidents Day, and of course, Valentine’s Day. Whatever you’re celebrating this month, get out there and do something! The sun’s-a-shining and there is an event awaiting your attendance. Need tips on what to wear? Check out Grayse Kelly’s fashion blog on page 13. In this issue, LoLa has the pleasure of introdu cing you to Toi Moore. Toi is a local mom, wife, author and pie maker. She is joined on our cover by her husband Greg, who is a member of the Grammy Award winning band, Earth, Wind and Fire. How cool is that! Want to tantalize the taste buds of your sweetie this Valentine’s Day? Be sure to check out Tammy’s quick dessert recipe on page 20. And if you are single this Valentine’s Day, get together with a couple single gal pals and have a blast! Go see a movie, grab an early dinner before the lovers fill the tables of local restaurants, or catch a band in Old Town Temecula. Treat yourself to a gift … who says you have to receive chocolates to make it a great Valentine’s Day? I’ll take a new pair of shoes any day. They last longer. Hope you enjoy reading our February issue and getting to know the amazing women sharing their stories with us this month.
LoLa Magazine 39252 Winchester Road, Suite #107-256 Murrieta, CA 92563 951.319.4000 PUBLISHER/EDITOR IN CHIEF Angela Mains CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Holly Suhi hollysuhi.com SALES & MARKETING DIRECTOR David Mains SALES ACCOUNT MANAGER Karen Twyla Twyman CREATIVE DIRECTOR Hope Fultz LAYOUT & DESIGN Chris Keach chriskeachdesign.com COLUMNISTS Grayse Kelly Inner Fashionista Missy Jones She Said/He Said Dominic Carcioppolo She Said/He Said Shelly Moore Single in the Valley Tammy Albery Tammy’s Table CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Heather Bremner Sharon Goldsmith, LE
Breathe. Believe. Achieve. -Angela M. Comment from a reader (may be edited for space or clarity) December 2013 Issue:
Congratulations on your third issue! I picked it up over the holidays and one of my favorite sections is “Girls Next Door.” I believe it is so inspiring for other women to see how amazing the women are that live right in their community. Perhaps there are some synergies we can provide each other in the New Year. -Michelle
CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Amy Dawnelle amydawnelle.com INTERNS Mikayla Fultz Peche Cordero
LoLa Magazine is published monthly by LoLa Magazine, LLC. While every attempt has been made to ensure the accuracy of the content in this publication, the publisher cannot be responsible for ad content, submitted articles, errors, or omissions. No part of this publication may be reproduced without permission of the publisher. Copyright 2014, LoLa Magazine, LLC.
February 2014 • 7
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Earth, Wind and Toi By Angela Mains | Photo shoot by Amy Dawnelle, additional photos courtesy of Toi Moore
When your husband is a member of the legendary R&B band Earth, Wind and Fire, and you refer to songstress Anita Baker as a close personal friend, an outsider could think it was a struggle for you to find your own identity. But not for Toi Moore. She is very clear about who she is in the amazing life she has built for herself. Toi is a wife, mother, manicurist, pie baker, writer of more than 350 magazine and newspaper articles, and author of eight books. A California girl, Toi was born and raised in San Diego where she met her husband Greg “G. Moe” Moore over 30 years ago. At the time, Greg was playing guitar for Patrice Rushen, whose song “Forget Me Nots” topped the billboards in the 1980s. He and Toi met at a Rushen concert when he presented her with tickets a friend had reserved for her. During the 30 years they’ve been married, Greg has performed with icons such as Whitney Houston, Anita Baker, Gladys Knight, and Michael Jackson, to name a few. Greg is now a permanent fixture with Earth, Wind and Fire.
to a professional level. She began her writing career at a newspaper in San Bernardino. “I found that people really enjoyed my writing and it motivated me to keep at it,” she said. Her opportunities soon took off and she began writing for magazines such as Billboard which led to many memorable interviews including musicians, political officials, and other celebrities. It was an interview she heard with one of her favorite novelists, Judith Krantz, that moved her to try her hand at more in-depth writing. And she was on her way to writing plays, screen plays and novels.
When their two sons Kenan and Amon were young, Greg’s career required him to travel much of the time, and Toi provided stability at home, raising the boys. During this period she delved into an early passion of hers … writing. “I first discovered I could write when I was in high school,” she said, remembering the acclaim she received from an English teacher for her essay about Martin Luther King, Jr.
Her first book started as a screen play that dealt with domestic violence. “Writing the book was therapeutic,” she recalls. The story came from a place Toi knew all too well. “My mom was a victim of domestic violence. A character in the book was actually me as a five-year-old, seeing my mother abused by my stepfather, and being unable to help. I poured out my feelings in the story, releasing emotions that had been bottled up for years.” The end of the book provides information about how and where to get help, “because many people keep this type of thing to themselves,” Toi said. One step led to another, and she found herself speaking at high schools and domestic abuse shelters. She felt the need to talk directly with young women and explain how abuse can affect their lives and impact their children.
Over the next years, Toi’s writing branched to poems, postcards and greeting cards, and she began to realize that she had more than a love for writing, she had a true gift. Encouraged by her friend Anita Baker who told her, “You are able to write emotion that most people have a hard time putting in words,” Toi eventually took her writing
February 2014 • 9
Makeup by Paola Santos styleseat.com/paoladsantos Hair by Katrina Tibur 10 â€˘
Other books include a mystery novel which is a sequel to her first book, and a book on how to self-publish. She and her husband co-authored and published Unbreakable. “It is his version versus my version of how our marriage grew strong over the years. It’s funny you can ask a couple a simple question like how they met, and their stories are totally different.” Her more recent books are a little spicier, including a romantic comedy, Not Quite Good Enough, and her latest two books, Adult Conversations, Volumes I and II, to help women and men discuss mature issues such as love and sex. Toi has also co-authored an inspirational book, The Calling, with James Cannon, who is the father of Mariah Carey’s husband, writer/producer Nick Cannon. When it comes to self-publishing, Toi has the know-how and formed a publishing company, TM Publications. “People often asked me how to go about publishing their works and I wanted to help,” she says. Her services help writers with editing, getting their writings in book format, creating cover graphics, as well as publishing and printing their work.
Toi Moore at home with the family: sons Kenan and Amon, and husband Greg
Toi also owns a mobile manicuring service that caters to older residents who cannot travel to a salon. She spoke in particular of a favorite client who has a severe case of Parkinson’s disease, but seems to relax enough to enjoy having her nails done. As though all this isn’t enough to keep her going non-stop, three years ago Toi began a new business, Moore Sweet Pies. She borrows space from a Murrieta bakery, baking and shipping pies to customers all over the US. Her celebrity-endorsed pies will soon be avai lable for sale at AJ’s fish market in Lake Elsinore. “There was a time when I thought I was going to be a famous singer, but I was too shy,” Toi admits. Instead, she has fun with karaoke. Although she has traveled the world with her husband, Toi finds the simple pleasures of home life and family time best of all. She describes her Menifee home as a mini petting zoo. “We weren’t allowed to have pets growing up,” she says. She now has a 4,000 gallon koi pond with spoiled koi fish that she hand-feeds hot dogs, their favorite treat. She also “mothers” rabbits, a chicken, dogs, kittens, and a bird.
Toi Moore, co-author of The Calling, with James Cannon (father of Nick Cannon)
Besides managing her busy schedule and Greg’s, she says that being a mom has always been her favorite job. “Our sons are both so talented. And they are good boys,” she says with a proud smile. Twenty-seven-year-old Kenan is a musician, a producer, and a local disc jockey. Amon, 25, is an artist heavily into anime (Japanese animated productions). “But now that the boys are older, I’m not letting any grass grow under my feet,” she says. “I try not to overdo it, but sometimes doors open and you have to follow the path. I like people. I think that’s why I do so much. The sky is our only limit. People feel like they are stuck with what is given to them. That’s not the case. I try to encourage people to go for it, whatever it is. Life is to enjoy.” For more about Toi Moore, visit her website at toimoore.com or mooresweetpies.webs.com
Toi Moore with My Haley (wife of the late Alex Haley), promoting Moore Sweet Pies February 2014 • 11
Take Care of Your Face By Sharon Goldsmith, LE | Photo by Amy Dawnelle
GOOD SKIN CARE IS NOT A LUXURY. It’s a necessity. Each ethnic skin type has its particular challenges and needs. A regimen that is right for you can help your skin appear positively radiant. It can also help prevent and reverse signs of aging, and lower the risk of skin cancer. It’s never too early, never too late. Even a woman in her 20’s can
have fine lines, wrinkles, and pigmentation problems caused by sun exposure years ago, when she was too young to realize the longterm effects. There are many factors that contribute to skin aging, but a large percentage is the result of unprotected exposure to the elements. A woman in her mid-sixties came to me for her first facial in 30 years, telling me she has to swallow her self-esteem when she looks into the magnifying mirror to apply her makeup. Whether you are a grandmother, a granddaughter, or somewhere in between, you don’t have to live with this! The effects of good skin care over even a few months can be amazing. Do you have fine line, wrinkles, under-eye dark circles, brown spots (unwanted pigmentation), or dry, oily or acne-prone skin? These conditions can be dramatically improved at any age. Start with products formulated for your skin type and specific concerns. • Really cleanse. Blemishes can be due to pores that are clogged by excessive oil production, cosmetic residue, and environmental impurities. Blemishes can also result from hormone imbalance, especially in the teenage, menopausal and post-menopause years. Be sure to cleanse twice at night and once in the morning. Use a white (un-dyed), steamy wash cloth to remove cleanser. Pay special attention to areas around your nose, mouth and eyes, massaging gently with the wash cloth. By increasing circulation, you bring the body’s natural healing properties to your skin.
• Apply eye cream. Don’t give up too soon. It can take weeks to see improvement in fine lines and wrinkles around the eyes. • Mask 2 – 3 times a week. Target your concerns — deep cleansing, hydrating, firming, brightening. • Everything you do for your face, do for your neck and chest! • Get eight hours of beauty sleep at night. This is when your skin repairs itself. Good skin care doesn’t have to be expensive. Just because a cosmetic
has a big price tag doesn’t necessarily mean it’s better for your skin. Excellent skin care products are available at most drug stores and mass retailers. It’s all about ingredients. Look for plant and herb extracts, antioxidants, peptides, and glycolic and lactic acid. What can an esthetician do for you? An experienced esthetician can
assess your skin’s specific needs and educate you on skin care. An esthetician’s facial can support your daily regimen with tools, techniques and products that can be more effective than those you buy over the counter. A professional-grade microdermabrasion tool, bleaching creams, chemical peels, and serums that target your specific concerns can take years off the appearance of aging skin, and set you on a course of daily skin care that will maintain healthier, younger-looking, more radiant skin for the rest of your life.
• Exfoliate 2-3 times a week. Do you wonder why a man’s skin typically does not age as early as a woman’s? It makes sense. Shaving regularly removes dull, dead skin cells, allowing new skin to surface. Exfoliation does an even better job, enabling the beneficial ingredients of your skin care products to permeate beneath the skin’s surface. Be gentle and avoid inflaming your skin. Inflammation causes signs of aging. • Tone. Many women omit this step from their skin care, however a toner restores pH balance, helping to return dry or oily skin to normal. • Moisturize and protect for your skin. Make sure your morning moisturizer has an SPF of 30. A mineral foundation will nourish your skin all day, and a concealer will protect especially vulnerable areas from environmental damage. Use a moisturizer at night if your skin is dry, as well as products an esthetician can recommend that are aimed at your other concerns. Never use a moisturizer with an SPF at night; this is when your skin needs to breathe and regenerate.
Sharon Goldsmith is a licensed esthetician who specializes in antiaging for all skin types. Reach her at Skincare By Sharon, 916.207.2900, or email@example.com
Date Night By Grayse Kelly | Photos by Amy Dawnelle
Date. Night. These two little words can send even the most level headed fashionista into a full-on frenzy of flying fabrics. Your date has the easy part, deciding the time and place, and paying the tab. You, on the other hand, have been awarded the most important detail that can make or break — in our minds anyway — the date. WHAT TO WEAR! Fear not. On the road of any trendsetter there are bound to be tests, and you shall pass this one. Is the occasion dressy or casual? An outdoor venue, a visit to a gallery, dinner and dancing, a formal affair? Late afternoon or evening plans? All these factor mightily into the perfect outfit for the perfect date. Outdoors: An outdoor venue, such as a festival or a concert, creates
the perfect ambiance to be fun and flirty. Slim distressed denim, leather pants or even a leather A-line skirt, paired with an off-theshoulder top would be show-stopping! Add a blazer or biker leather jacket for chilly nights. Flat boots, low heeled booties, or a pair of Converse sneakers are ideal. They’ll give your look an edge while freeing you from the distraction of painful feet while you stroll around and stand for extended periods of time. Museums and art galleries: This type of occasion calls for effortless
style and maximum comfort. Although you may want to wear your fanciest heels, refrain. A ballerina flat or loafer will be more suitable, or a riding boot. Slacks or jeans paired with a chiffon blouse work beautifully, or even a slip dress or sundress with a cardigan. Just keep in mind that you’ll be walking. Think lightweight, simple, yet eye-catching.
Dinner & dancing: Your guy would rather catch a late dinner and
then check out a live band at a lounge? Cocktail dresses will forever be the go-to, transitioning perfectly from dinner to dancing! You absolutely should wear your best shoes, the higher the heel, the better. The cuts of cocktail dresses are seemingly endless; remember to make the style work for your body type. Just because it looked good on a hanger or someone else, doesn’t mean it will look great on you. You’ll feel your best when you know you look your best. Black tie affair: Attending an “invitation only” black tie event?
Sophistication and elegance should be front and center. A floorlength gown, a small shiny clutch or an embellished clutch, plus an attention-getting shoe with a classy strappy heel—these looks will allow you to capture the essence of Anya Amasova next to your James Bond, for a blissful evening of mixing and mingling. “Will You Be Mine?” valentines are everywhere and Cupid is aiming his arrow at eager souls waiting for love. Just remember to put your most stylish foot forward, have fun, and you’ll speak the language of love through your choice of clothing! Model: Ocean Belt Makeup by Ocean Belt Jewelry styled by Katie Allen of Stella and Dot (see ad p. 8) Logo Top: Forever 21 Pink Cardigan: H&M Skirt: Urban Outfitters Heels: Remix at Promenade Mall, Temecula February 2014 • 13
ABOUT A GIRL
An Accidental Sanctuary By Heather Bremner
The second you pause on the winding dirt road, wondering if you’d missed a turn, a sign emblazoned with a cartoon cow greets you: “You are not lost!” After a few more crunches of gravel, puffs of dirt, and quick turns of the steering wheel, a donkey-filled pasture appears and the air is thick with an earthy smell of livestock. You’ve arrived, it seems almost by accident, at Save the Animals Today, a horse and farm animal sanctuary that came about quite “accidentally.” “This was never on my bucket list,” says Pattie Roberts, founder and director of the Winchester-based nonprofit. Seven years ago Pattie was an advertising professional with a hectic schedule, when suddenly the petite redhead with a big smile became a savior to 23 horses scheduled for euthanasia. It was 2007 when the avid horse lover, living on ranch property with her own horses, learned about the former show horses that had been surrendered to the state of California. The horses’ owners were from New Mexico and found themselves in financial straits when the economy began to sag and feed prices shot up. A woman who hoped to profit from the show horses transported them to California, but quickly learned she also was unable to cover the cost of feed and care. And 23 horses, the animals who birthed Save the Animals Today, found their way to Pattie. A friend who took Pattie to lunch one day commented, “you realize you’ve made a career change,” Pattie says with a laugh. “That’s one of those times when you ‘can’t see the forest for the trees.’ I finally realized what that [saying] meant.” She soon found herself kicking that advertising career to the curb in exchange for one filled with bales of hay and sweet animals in need of a loving home. A True Calling
It didn’t take long for Pattie to realize she had found her passion, and her ranch quickly filled with many more animals. Today, donkeys, geese, dogs, cats, pigs, goats, sheep, and even a 500-pound pig named Ernie, call the ranch home. “My rule is if you can make me cry I’ll probably take the animal,” she says, her eyes covered at the moment with big, dark sunglasses. A jaunt around the ranch illustrates why Pattie’s smile is so big. Cosmo, a lab mix, is the first greeter who runs over with a slightly lazy gait, delighting in Pattie’s attention. A hefty English Bulldog waddles up next before heading over to a plastic bucket that he proceeds to rip apart. “Clifford!” calls out the ranch manager Shary Carter, slightly admonishing the dog, but clearly amused by his antics. Shary explains that Clifford is just a temporary tenant. His family had found themselves homeless and couldn’t bring him 14 •
along to their transitional housing. Clifford’s owners had called that day to confirm their intent to pick him up, but it’s not unusual for owners to drop off their pets and never return. Nestled in the rolling hills of Winchester, surrounded by pastures of undeveloped land and well-kept pens, it’s not a bad place for any animal to call home. The low key temperaments of the ranch’s residents make it clear that living at the sanctuary is in fact, quite heavenly. Donkeys wander over, friendly as dogs and eager for affectionate petting. Sheep inch their noses through the gate, begging for treats. Cats lazily purr. Oakley, the black-haired micro-pig, oinks happily as he heads out of his house on the porch. And horses— brown, black, red and white—stand proudly, making beautiful, elegant mascots. A Civic Service Lesson
Nine-year-old Camryn Assumma pets a gray cat and then a white one. She laughs as another volunteer flashes a red laser for a spotted kitten that playfully chases the darting light. Camryn is at the ranch for the first time to help clean out rabbit cages and sweep up cat hair. Her mother and Girl Scout troop leader heard about the nonprofit and decided it would be a great place for the girls to learn the value of civic duty. “They have a lot of fun as Girl Scouts,” Lorraine Assumma explains, “but I also want them to help out.” Adults and children volunteer their time at Save the Animals Today, doing everything from cleaning horse stalls, to playing with
kittens, to giving horseback riding lessons. Without volunteers and monetary donations, the sanctuary would not exist. Every worker at the ranch is a volunteer. Saddling Up
On a warm day in January, Dawn Chapman leads Rico Nance around the pen, his gray hair a striking contrast to the unicorn-white horse. It’s only the second lesson for the 70-year-old man, who said he’d probably ridden a horse just a couple of times before. A recent visit to the sanctuary was the impetus for him to hop back in the saddle. “The whole place impresses me,” the Homeland, California resident says. “There’s a lot of T.L.C. for the animals here.” And Dawn is a master of T.L.C. while giving riding lessons whenever her time is not taken racing motocross or jet skis. The $45 riding lesson fees go back to the sanctuary, helping to cover various expenses from feed and insurance, to shots and the emergency veterinarian fund. “It’s costly to care for animals, especially horses, and every dollar helps,” Pattie explains. Although the nonprofit made it through the economic slump by the skin of their teeth, Pattie does not regret her career change. “I never got a Citizen of the Year award for advertising,” she says with that ever-present laugh, referring to her 2011 Murrieta Chamber Citizen of the Year award. The following year, Save the Animals Today was also named Murrieta Non-Profit of the Year.
How to Help Save an Animal Sponsor a Horse: Feed Sponsorship ($150 a month) provides feed for
one horse for a month, Lease/Sponsorship ($250 a month) includes two riding lessons a month and the opportunity to visit and care for the horse at any time.
Riding Lessons: Private lesson – $45, group lesson – $30, 10-lesson
pack – $375, trail ride for experienced riders – $75 each. Events: Host a birthday party or other event.
Volunteer: The sanctuary always needs volunteers. Students can earn
community service hours through their volunteering. In addition, they offer Boy and Girl Scout badge programs, pre-school play groups, senior citizen trips, Wishes for Children, Disabled Veterans and Hospice programs. Donations: Monetary donations are tax-deductible and always wel-
come. In addition, see the website for the Wish List.
Open Barn: First Saturday of every month from 10am – 2pm. SaveTheAnimalsToday.org Pattie@DudetteRanch.com 951.733.3000
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February 2014 • 15
She Said/He Said Get great advice on life and love, from a woman’s perspective and a man’s perspective. Macy from Temecula: I’ve been dating this guy for about a month now. I like him a lot but
one thing bugs me. I asked him about making Valentine’s Day plans and he says he doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day. He says it’s a marketing scam that retailers use to make money from gullible people and he doesn’t buy it. I totally understand what he’s saying and I agree to an extent, but I’m a romantic. I want to be wooed on Valentine’s Day. The situation isn’t serious enough for me to break up with him, but I want to have a great Valentine’s Day with my new boyfriend. Any advice? Missy Jones: A month is very early in any kind of rela-
tionship. It’s not enough time for someone to show you what they will bring to your life. However, in the early stages of a romantic relationship you should expect to be wooed. Although your boyfriend has a cynical view of Valentine’s Day, it doesn’t mean you can’t take the opportunity to celebrate your new relationship. There are plenty of Valentine’s Day options that don’t rely on big brand industries. Communicate how much something special would mean to you, then let him be the leader and do the planning. Even this early in the game, any man who is serious about his girl will step up to the plate. If he doesn’t pump up the volume on the romance, what are the chances it will magically appear later in the relationship? If you require romance as a “must” in a partner and he can’t deliver, you’ve gotta move on. Dominic Carcioppolo: First of all, your boyfriend is kind
of correct. The good thing is that you’re not blind to his opinion. The bottom line is that at some point in every relationship both people have to realize that sometimes things are about you, and sometimes things are about your partner. He can have his opinion on the holiday but he should play along for your sake. There will come a time when he needs you to take part in something that you may not understand or totally agree with. I would just remind him of this. This concept shouldn’t be hard for him to grasp. As a backup plan, if you know he’s definitely going to drop the ball on VDAY, get him something super awesome for the occasion. It will make you feel good and show him how great it feels to be wooed. Hopefully he’ll get the message and spend future dates making it up to you. I’d also like to add … Happy Valentine’s Day to the beautiful Missy Jones. Have a comment or a question for Missy & Dominic? Send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. Subject line: She Said He Said All information expressed on this page is a matter of the writers’ individual opinions. None of the advice is intended to take the place of legal or professional counsel. 16 •
Dance, Dance, Dance! We can’t all move across the dance floor as effortlessly as Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, nor do we all have the supernatural dance abilities of Mikhail Baryshnikov or Greggory Hines, but anyone can dance. Every one of us has been guilty of dancing around the house when no one is watching. It’s just natural. Some of us may have had ballet classes since the age of three and continued to twirl through high school and college, and others may have learned our moves in front of our bedroom mirror, but we all have the ability to express ourselves rhythmically. Hence, anyone can dance … and everyone should. Alexis Weisbrod, Natalia Morales and Manpreet Mutneja (Preet), came together in April 2013 to open a dance and fitness studio in the Temecula Valley. Alexis has been dancing since she was very young, and went on to earn a BFA in dance from the University of Minnesota and a PhD in Dance from UC Riverside. Natalia started her dance career at a very young age as well. “I came out of the womb dancing,” she jokes. Natalia has a Bachelors in Dance from Cal State Fullerton and a Masters in Educational Leadership and Policy Studies in Higher Education from Cal State Northridge. She danced professionally before moving back to the Valley and becoming an instructor at Mount San Jacinto College where both she and Alexis currently teach. Their business partner, Preet, came to them by chance. Preet is a local biotech professional with a Master’s in Business Administration. To relax, he decided to explore a few classes at MSJC, one of them in dance. He took classes under the instruction of both Natalia and Alexis and hasn’t stopped dancing since his first class in 2009. “At first, it was just something to try,” he says. “I really enjoyed the class and thought it was a great way to get fit without having to go to a gym. But mostly it was fun.” They opened Alias Movement Center, a dance studio that caters to adult students. “We didn’t want to open a dance studio that would compete with the multitude of youth studios in the area. They are all pretty good, and there was no need for another studio,” says Natalia. But when Preet came to their attention with his desire for an adult studio to get fit, continue a dance career, or just start a new hobby, the conversation turned into a plan of action. Alexis Weisbrod says that the primary objective of the studio is to foster the next stage of growth for dancers over the age of 18. “Unless a dancer plans to dance professionally, there are not many economical alternatives to continuing dance after college,” she says. “This is what we provide. We are changing the mentality that dance is just for kids.” Their classes include modern dance, jazz, hip hop, and new to the menu, ballroom dance. They also offer Stretchalates, Barre Fitness, and Zumba fitness classes. The studio welcomes all experience advertorial
Sue Brenner Photography
levels, from first-time dancers to those who have danced throughout adolescence and wish to continue. Because the studio caters to adults, schedules and class times are flexible. “Dance hours” can be purchased and used according to the dancer’s discretion, so no one is locked into a certain schedule or class. The studio is open six mornings and four evenings a week, and drop-in rates are available. The instructors have seen to every detail to provide a comfortable, fun and safe fitness environment. “I think everyone should try dance,” Preet says. “This would not have happened if I hadn’t stepped out of my comfort zone and just given it a try.” Interested in trying a class? Alias Movement Center offers a free trial class to anyone who mentions this LoLa Magazine article. So go ahead and dance!
39040 Sky Canyon Drive #110, Murrieta, CA 92563 (951) 40-ALIAS · aliasmovementcenter.com February 2014 • 17
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SINGLE IN THE VALLEY
Wendy Whitelaw By Shelly Moore
On December 3, 2011, Wendy Whitelaw was enjoying breakfast with her two daughters at The Pancake House in Temecula when she noticed the many missed calls on her cell phone. When she returned one of the calls she found out her house was on fire. By the time she and her daughters got home, the house was fully engulfed in flames and for the next four hours they could do nothing but watch it burn. “Everything was gone,” she said, “the car that had been left in the garage, family photos, heirlooms, furniture, clothes … everything.” Thankfully, the neighbors were able to save the family’s dog. Can you imagine being a single mother and losing everything? Where do you go, how do you start again, and how do you attempt to stay strong through such a tragic loss? When talking with Wendy, I discovered what an amazing and courageous woman she is. Through all she had previously been through in her life— divorcing after 15 years of marriage, high-powered, stressful jobs, and financial woes—she had never asked for help or even allowed anyone to help her. After the fire, however, the outpouring from the community was overwhelming, and she learned to set aside her pride and accept the help she desperately needed. “When you are stripped down to nothing, you truly find what is important,” she said. Over the next year Wendy had to rebuild her life and a home for her daughters. It was during this time that her spirituality became much stronger. “I began believing that the world wants good things for me,” she said.” By the grace of God and with the help of friends and family who stuck by my side,” Wendy says she was able to rebuild her home and start a new chapter for herself and her girls. We sat on her sofa in her beautiful new home, and talked about her faith, her divorce, and dating as a single mother. “I had several relationships after my divorce, more than I am proud of. I made many mistakes and found that I had always been attracted to the wrong type of men, and was unclear about exactly what I myself wanted in
a relationship. I certainly wanted to be strong and independent, but part of me still wanted a man who could take care of me.” Wendy explained that she had to learn it was okay for her to have a more feminine role in a relationship. She went on to say, “I soon discovered that I had to respect men even if they are structured, linear thinkers and non-emotional, and that it’s okay for me as a woman, to be emotional and intuitive.” Wendy began to study dating, treating it like a job. “You need to have a plan for dating just like a business plan,” she said. In May, she joined an online dating site and met Kurt. Even after meeting the potential man of her dreams, she continued what she refers to as “duty dating.” She felt this was the way to rule out other men and be sure that Kurt was the one for her. “With Kurt, I didn’t have to force a square peg in a round hole He helped me realize it was okay for the man to be the king and for me to be his queen.” Wendy firmly believes that newly single women and men need time after their divorce to heal before they start dating. “So many people jump into serious relationships when they aren’t ready,” she believes. She created a dating contract with her girlfriends. I read through the contract and it was brilliant. She had taken her real estate coaching skills and applied it to dating, having her friends as accountability partners. With Wendy’s experience both as a business coach and with dating, she is excited to embark on a new adventure as a “dating coach, and will be hosting a workshop titled “Attracting the Love You Want,” tentatively scheduled for April. I left Wendy’s home moved and inspired by her story. I continue to be honored to meet these fabulous women who are “Single in the Valley.” “I would like to be known as an intelligent woman, a courageous woman, a loving woman, a woman who teaches by being.” – Maya Angelou
Photos from left to right: Wendy with “Single in the Valley” columnist Shelly Moore, with daughters Anna and Cora, Wendy at home.
February 2014 • 19
Dark Chocolate Tofu Mousse By Tammy Albery Ingredients
• 12.3 oz. organic firm silken tofu, well-drained and dried off • 10 oz. good quality dark chocolate (about 72% cocoa content) • 1/2 c. coconut milk, well-shaken (from a can, not the type you drink) • 2 T. organic agave nectar • 1 T. Malibu rum (other coconut rum or coconut extract is also fine) Break chocolate into small chunks and melt in double boiler. When melted, add the coconut rum and stir until well-combined. Remove from stove. Place tofu, coconut milk, agave nectar, and chocolate mixture into food processor. Process for about 2 minutes, scraping the sides to incorporate well. Spoon mixture into dessert glasses and top with whipped topping of choice. For a dairy-free topping, refrigerate a can of coconut milk overnight. When making the topping, use only the solidified
portion and whip it just like heavy cream, adding a little sugar and vanilla to taste. I created this mousse for those who want a rich, creamy chocolate mousse without dairy products. I like using dark chocolate because of its antioxidant properties. Tofu replaces the dairy ingredients while delivering the same rich creaminess with the added benefit of medium chain triglycerides (MCT’s), which are more quickly metabolized than dairy fat, and therefore less likely to be stored as fat. So go ahead and enjoy every luscious bite of your Valentines Day dessert! Tammy Albery is a private chef and cooking instructor. Reach her at email@example.com or visit facebook.com/tammystable22
GIRLS NEXT DOOR Paola Santos was born in Tijuana and raised in Southern California. She has three children, Christa-
belle who works in the fashion and makeup industry, and Paulette and Jermoll who both attend Lake Elsinore High School. She originally majored in child development and worked with children for more than 17 years before pursuing a career in the beauty industry four years ago. She is now a freelance makeup artist with an impressive list of clients, including Latin music artist Lupillo Rivera and his wife Meyali. She has done work for a number of music videos, commercials, runway shows, and photo shoots, including shoots for LoLa Magazine. Paola has also done makeup for Bravo TV’s Real Housewives of Orange County and for the movie The Lackey which won awards at the Cannes Movie Festival. She has been featured in San Diego Magazine among others. Paola recently started her own mobile makeup service. Her work is inspired by makeup artists Agostina Lombard and Sasson.
Vivian Buycks and her husband Willie reside locally with their three children. Vivian works at
Loma Linda Hospital in Human Resources. In her downtime she enjoys watching the Discovery Channel’s Crime Discovery and other shows such as Nightmare Next Door. Vivian aspires to open her own soul food restaurant someday. A lesson she has learned in life is not to take everything at face value, but to be bold enough to question. Her favorite quote is: “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.”
Villie Green was born in Arizona. She has lived in Southern California since 1989 and moved
to Murrieta in 2002 because of its family-oriented community. Villie has been married to her husband Kelly for 19 years. They have four beautiful children, Victoria who is 18, Kiefer who is 16, Kody who is 13, and Sarina who is two and a half years old. Villie lives to cherish every moment, especially spending time with her family. She is a realtor with Realty ONE Group Southwest in Temecula, and loves getting to know new people. Ville is known for bringing a smile or a helping hand to everyone she meets.
Doreen McKee grew up in the Philippines and Hawaii. She attended an exclusive all-girl Cath-
olic school and had childhood aspirations of becoming a nun, but high school and college changed her perspective. Doreen settled in Redondo Beach where she worked as a banker for Home Savings of America. She relocated to the Temecula Valley to open a new mortgage loan servicing branch for her company. The move was intended to be temporary, but 25 years later she’s still here, enjoying her life in Murrieta. As a single mom for the last 14 years, Doreen has successfully raised four sons and a daughter, Dino, Carmello, Daniel, Charles, and Catherine. She believes that parenting is a lifetime commitment and never misses an opportunity to tell her children that she misses them and loves them. Every year she makes time to get together and travel with family, and especially loves visiting home in the Philippines where two of her children have attended college. February 2014 • 21
OCTOBE R 2013
LoLa is a new, fun and informative magazine all about the Local Ladies of Southwest Riverside County.
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Published on Feb 7, 2014
LoLa stands for Local Ladies. We are a women's magazine for the Temecula Valley area of southern California. In our February issue, we are...