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#66 FREE

CONTENTS Volume 8 Number 5 Issue 66 8 10 12 44 46 47 48

Editor’s Letter Let’s hit the beach, brah.   Of The Month More information about Die Antwoord. Stuff about DVDs and art shows too! ION the Street What if we want to wear our sunglasses during the day? What then, Corey Hart? Poster Art: Christine Hale These posters are adorable! ION the Web 8=====D  Horoscopes Apparently astronomers believe there should be a 13th zodiac sign. Astrologists disagree and we’ll take their word over some science guys, any day.  Comics 

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CULTURE Dave Arnold Call Dave if you want a sign painted or erotic Archie comic fan art.  Vladimir Kato Get impaled by Vlad... impaled with laughter and awe that is. 


Beach Blanket Bingo A look at some of our favourite swimwear lines. Night Camp This issue’s fashion editorial is shot by Kin Chan and styled by Charlotte Stokes. 


Die Antwoord The most interweb-famous band of all time sits down for a interview and photoshoot with us. Let’s see if they translate well from web to print. Holy Ghost! Interview with the DFA signed band with Fleetwood Mac drums. Protomen Oh man is this issue nerdy. Tame Impala Australian Psych Rock group gets wavy with us.   Album Reviews 

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Publisher/Fashion Director Vanessa Leigh Editor in Chief Creative Director Art Director Music Editor  Fashion Editor  Office Manager

Michael Mann Danny Fazio Tyler Quarles Trevor Risk Toyo Tsuchiya Natasha Neale

Copy Editor Editorial Intern

Steven Evans Zia Hirji


Nojan Aminosharei, Jenkin Au, Dr. Ian Super, Tyler Fedchuk, Stefana Fratila, Aleem Jamal-Kabani, Sinead Keane, Ryan Kerr, Chelsea Moore, Kellen Powell, Ian Urbanski, Alicia Wrobel

ABOUT OUR COVER DIE Antwoord SHOT EXCLUSIVELY FOR ION MAGAZINE On the cover this month are Ninja and Yo-Landi Vi$$er of Die Antwoord. This high energy, rave rap outfit from South Africa caused the internet to explode back in February when two videos they made, “Zef Side” and “Enter The Ninja,” spread like tuberculosis. The virus analogies can’t stop there as everything about Die Antwoord is totally infectious, be it the music, the tattoos, the hair, the Zef style, or the Afrikaans slang. Given that Die Antwoord translates from Afrikaans to The Answer, it begs one to ask: what’s the question? Probably something along the lines of, “Are these two for fokken real?” After photographing and talking to them as well as seeing their ridiculously awesome live show (their first ever in Canada), we’d have to emphatically say yes! Die Antwoord currently have a digital ep, titled 5, available on iTunes and are slated to release their full-length album in October on Interscope Records.

Photographers and Artists Toby Marie Bannister, Baaron Campbell, Kin Chan, Justin Tyler Close, Aurielle St Cyr, Ashley Gesner, Adam Hendrik, Jonathon Kingsbury, Kris Krüg, Grace Lee, André Pinces, Charlotte Stokes, Andrea Tiller, Felix Wong


ION is printed 10 times a year by the ION Publishing Group. No parts of ION Magazine may be reproduced in any form by any means without prior written consent from the publisher. ION welcomes submissions but accepts no responsibility for the return of unsolicited materials. All content © Copyright ION Magazine 2010 Hey PR people, publicists, brand managers and label friends, send us stuff. High-resolution jpegs are nifty and all, but they’re no substitute for the real thing. Clothing, liquor, PS3s, CDs, vinyl, Blu-rays, video games, and an iPad can be sent to the address below. #303, 505 Hamilton Street. Vancouver, BC, Canada. V6B 2R1 Office 604.696.9466 Fax: 604.696.9411 | @ionmagazine | Advertising enquiries can be directed to



Cover Photography: André Pinces, Makeup: Andrea Tiller for TRESemmé Hair Care/NOBASURA, Live Photography: Kris Krüg


makeup ARTIST [Andrea Tiller]

stylist [Charlotte Stokes]

Writer [Alicia Wrobel]

Jenkin interviewed Vladimir Kato for this issue. Bio in third person? Jenkin would normally laugh. In fact, I know Jenkin so well that he’d probably make something up on the spot, like the chocolate chunking up on his teeth. Jenkin thinks photography is a sham and would never touch it. He also thinks writing is for the dogs and will never write a single piece in his life. Jenkin is a short scrawny Asian kid who thinks he was born here and wishes he was a super chef. He’s also a comic book nerd and he thinks that porn would be great in a 4-D theatre. Jenkin is my best friend.

Andrea did the makeup for our shoot with Die Antwoord. Dre was born and raised for most of her childhood in Peru by an Austrian father and Peruvian mother. This explains why she has Latina flare and an appreciation for art, music, fashion and culture. She’s been painting faces for the last five years in Vancouver and has been a regular contributor to ION. She dreams of doing makeup for Lil Wayne one day and possibly marrying him.

Charlotte styled our fashion editorial in this issue. Australia seems like a cruel place for a red headed girl to be born but Charlotte Stokes thrived while living directly under the hole in our ozone. She worked down under as a fashion editor and stylist until she made the move to Canada, just over a year ago. Vancouver has kept her busy and the area’s moderate climate has been easier on her complexion. She’s stoked to be working with ION and looks forward to flawless skin in 20 years thanks to a rigorous dedication to sun screen.

Alicia wrote the swimwear article in this issue. She hopes her cool glasses will convince someone to hire her as her degree in communications with a minor in publishing is proving to be more use folded as a paper airplane. She likes traveling, vintage teacups, Starbucks, sangria, mason jars, coffee ice cream, and still has yet to find a horror movie that scares her. Put a picture of a moth in front of her, or worse yet a real moth, and she will probably rip your head off—or the moth’s. In her free time she enjoys finding the most interesting words in the English language, one of which will always be ‘loaf’. She often wonders why she doesn’t get mail from carrier pigeons because it would be awesome.


[] []  




Michael Mann “Untitled” by Toby Marie Bannister

I recently read an article that a magazine produced a whole issue without going into their office once! Mindblowing stuff, I know. I can see why this would be a newsworthy story. Well, fuck you magazine that produced an issue without going into the office, we did this whole issue on the beach. And I wrote this whole editor’s letter without wearing socks or a shirt. Summer is all about sitting on the beach and getting drunk when you least expect it. However, sometimes there is a magazine to do. So we decided to multitask and combine the two. How is doing this possible, you ask? Well it’s really not that hard now that you can get the internet at the beach. How great is that? Who wants to read a book when you can Facebook instead? All you need to do is plug in one of those fancy



internet usb sticks or tether your iPhone to your computer with Bluetooth. I cannot wait to see my data charges at the end of the month! Life is tough. It’s not easy putting together a magazine on the beach. The sand is an issue. Not only does it get between your toes but it also gets in your keyboard. And you can’t merely wash it all off at one of those showers by the concession stand. We would have finished this issue weeks ago if we didn’t have to spend so much time cleaning our laptops with q-tips. Then there are all the distractions. Did you know women are now allowed to run around topless on public beaches without fear of being arrested? And not even exclusively at the weird hippy beach where the unemployed hang out and do mushrooms. Female doctors and lawyers

and bankers are running around tits out and rubbing sunblock on each other at even the most family friendly beaches these days. You go girls! Assert your hard-fought-for rights and never take them for granted (I’ve been in the sun all day and might imagining this). And then there’s the sun! Nevermind how hard it is to Photoshop Yo-Landi from Die Antwoord’s hair when the sun’s glaring on your computer screen. The real pain in the ass is sunburn. Oh, the sun’s deadly rays can be unforgiving. Fortunately we have a sexy young intern to slather sunblock on our pasty skin. His name is Zia and he has magically soft hands. Wanna be less productive? Crack open a drink. Even one can totally throw a wrench in the production of a magazine. With each successive

drink, productivity goes down till it degenerates into hours of “Hey look at these funny pictures of cats I found on the internet.” A month ago we were all busy Icing each other—a fun summer game where you force your friends to drink Smirnoff Ice at hilarious and inopportune moments. Now we’ve actually started drinking Palm Bay coolers. Not for a joke, but because they’re tasty. We do this magazine with cellphones, laptops, iChat, pirated software and a printer that’s so old, the paper has those perforated edges on it. We do it in cramped apartments, tiny offices, patios and even the beach. A lot of times it’s like trying to build a skyscraper with glue and popsicle sticks. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. Also, I am eating a popsicle right now. It’s delicious. I can never resist the siren’s song of the ice cream truck.

OF THE MONTH [Boxers] Ninja’s Boxers [DVD] A Prophet [DVD] The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo [DVD] The Runaways





[1] Boxers—Ninja’s Boxers For this issue we got the oddest and awesomest request from an artist ever.

Prophet is fresh, dirty, quickly paced and smart. It shows us an exciting and dangerous world that until

Prior to our photoshoot with Die Antwoord, we received an email asking, “Can you bring XL boxers of

now we’ve never had access to. It’s a welcome contribution to the genre. —Kellen Powell

Canadian flag and maple leaves for Ninja to wear for this?” We were, of course, ecstatic and immediately dropped everything we were doing to go on a quest for him. Said Ninja of the boxers we gave him,

[3] DVD—The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo You’ve read the book and you loved it so much you went out and

“They’re nice. I love new boxers and underpants and socks. We never had money so for a few birthdays

got a massive winged serpent tattooed on your back and even started learning a little Swedish. Now see

Yo-landi always bought me underpants and socks and I always liked them. I have nice affection with new

the movie! Mikael Blomkvist is a journalist who has just lost a libel case and is sentenced to jail. Little

underpants.” If you’d like to look like Ninja does on our cover, his maple leaf boxers can be purchased for

does he know, he’s secretly being hacked and stalked by a hot and complicated young goth named

$15 at almost any tourist store in Gastown, Vancouver.

Lisbeth Salander (Noomi Rapace). Before going to jail, Mikael is hired by a wealthy industrialist to investigate the incredibly old and unsolved case of his missing foster child. Lisbeth, one of the more fascinating

[2] DVD—A Prophet In the earliest days of the gangster movie, the films had to address gangster-ism

female characters we’ve seen in years, decides to help Mikael get to the bottom it all. Suspense, Nazis,

under the guise of exposing a social problem no one wanted to talk about. In reality they were mostly

intrigue and serial murder ensue. Just wishing they stuck with the original name, Men Who Hate Women.

made because they were exciting and provided a dark romantic fantasy to audiences dealing with a harsher realities such as war or recession. Somewhere along the way this changed and we didn’t have

[4] DVD—The Runaways The Runaways were an all-girl rock band from the Seventies fronted by Joan Jett

to pretend we were only watching it so we could learn about how bad crime was. Routing for anti-heroes

and Cherie Currie. So naturally, when it came time to make the movie, Kristen Stewart and Dakota

became okay because everyone knew it was just a movie. The problem now is that we’ve seen them all

Fanning were cast to play them. The movie is rather superficial but undeniably stylish and a great intro-

before. Even new gangster movies coming out today can be easily pigeonholed; “This movie wants to

duction to The Runaways’ music. Kristen Stewart’s and Dakota Fanning’s performances aren’t as painful

be Heat, this movie wants to be Goodfellas, etc.” The exceptions seem to be coming out of Europe. A

as you’d expect either. One of the problems with the movie is it focuses too much on Cherie, the least



[Book] David Choe [Call for Submissions] By The Pound [Mixes] White Light Mix Series. [Art Show] the dark [5]




interesting person the group (Yes, we’re fully aware that the movie is based on Cherie Currie’s book). Oh

the action, you are in luck, because the Sleeping Giant gallery is currently taking submissions. —Zia Hirji

boo hoo Cherie, your dad’s an alcoholic so you decided to get back at him by developing a drug problem.


Give us more about Kristen Stewart... err... Joan Jett, please! [7] Mixes—White Light Mix Series White Light is a great series of mixes curated by local Vancouver boys [5] Book—David Choe David Choe is an artist you should know. One reason is he’s completely nuts and

Matty C and DJ Neoteric. Don’t expect any head banging electro or anything you’d find yourself grinding

got locked up for three months in a Japanese jail for shoving a cop. A more important reason is that he’s

your teeth to at four in the morning on these mixes, think of these as the perfect soundtrack to a late

one of the most talented artists in the world and his work can be seen in Facebook headquarters and the

night drive or something you could listen to while hanging out with a lady friend. Based on songs, not

White House. His book is 288 pages of Choey goodness. That means lots of portraits of skulls, whales

tracks, this is Dance music done just right—dark and moody. A few of ION’s favourites are Vol. 18 by

and incredibly graphic females nudes. Seriously, this guy loves women more than any other man on the

Neoteric, Vol. 24 by Rory Phillips and Vol. 22 by Wax Romeo, who “tried to do a mix that would sound as

planet. Another fun fact, David Choe is sometimes a backup dancer for Die Antwoord. Read his blog. It’s

good in your white Miata as it would at your next séance.” —Zia Hirji []

great. [] [8] Art Show—the dark For one night only, one of our favourite artists—Devitt Brown aka the dark—will [6] Call for Submissions—By The Pound You can buy a lot of stuff by the pound: meat, bulk dry soup mix

be having a show at On Main. Devitt is easily one of Vancouver’s best stencil and screenprint artists so

and... art? According to the people at Sleeping Giant Gallery in Toronto, hosts of the By the Pound exhibit,

you don’t want to miss this. He’ll be doing a live installation and there’ll be prints and shirts available for

you can. The basic concept involves 200 artists from across Ontario submitting pieces of art. If a buyer is

purchase. Come on down, have a drink and art it up.

interested in making a purchase, they will take said piece of art to a scale where it will be weighed and

ON MAIN, 1965 Main Street. Friday, August 20. Show starts at 7pm.

sold according to a set by the pound price. Clever, right? Well if you’re an artist who wants to get in on

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[1] Vonzipper - Manchu [2] Aldo - Kulzer




It’s that time of the summer when you sail through life. So wake up dude! Go to the beach, laze around, throw some sunnies on and you are set for a killer yet fashionable time.

Photography: Adam Hendrik Styling: Toyo Tsuchiya Styling assistants: VCC Styling Bootcamp March 2010. Makeup and Hair: Aurielle St Cyr Models: Brennan at Richard’s Model Management, Amy at Lizbell Agency


ION THE PRIZE WESC Apparently the Swedes are good at a few things: crafting perfect pop songs, furniture you put together yourself and meatballs. They can add making sunglasses to that list with this month’s prize, a pair of WESC shades. The heat is on which means beach days aplenty—what better way to spot your summer crush while you’re catching some rays than through the lenses of a pair of WESCs. To enter visit []


Dave Arnold

Sign Language Words: Chelsea Moore

Two things about Montreal artist Dave Arnold: A) He is hilarious, and B) He doesn’t like to be pigeonholed. In an attempt to avoid this, he’s currently working under the alias Mr. Sign, and is bringing a new face to many storefronts in an old way: by hand-painting signs for businesses eager to recreate that old nostalgic charm. He also has a collection of paintings titled “Teenage Nudes,” consisting of Betty and Veronica from Archie comics posing in the nude. “It seemed like a decent idea,” he says, laughing. One commonality within all of Dave’s work is his rampant penchant for nostalgia. “I think a lot of it’s based on reading Archie comics actually,” he reveals. “The stuff I think looks interesting mostly can be traced back to all those funny, weird little ads in them that have tricky wording, but are also real simple.” Having never really been interested in the “newer stuff,” he shares that he’s basically been stuck in the Twenties, adding that this has made business successful. “It almost seems to be like a trendy thing now, to take a place and give it that old-fashioned, almost cottagey type vibe, and it seems to be appealing to all sorts of different people—to



go back to the sort of older look, like not as crisp and clean.” Mr. Sign’s success in Montreal has had people talking, with store owners eager to commission his work and clients brought to tears of utter joy with the results. Dave laughs, “Oh my god, I think that was the best response you could ask for. If someone breaks into tears, then you know that you’ve hit the mark.” And although he’s always had a knack for artistry, Dave unabashedly admits that really, he’s just trying to get by. It’s all about, “How can I take what I’m doing and charge more money for it, basically. It’s always been the goal to sell everything I’ve got!” He further divulges that he doesn’t have much of a connection to, or interest in art as self-expression. “The whole ‘express what’s on the inside’, like, ‘put yourself on the canvas’, has never interested me. I just like pumping this stuff out, and if I can somehow pay my bills doing it, I’m happy.” Apart from his flourishing sign painting business, “Teenage Nudes” has been Dave’s greatest success to-date, garnering overwhelmingly positive public interest. Always candid, he

laughs, “People actually give a shit about Archie?” But after doing the show it hit him, “At that age you have no idea what sex is about, and then you see a boob in a magazine and giggle yourself to death, just trying to figure out what is actually going on. So a lot of people were like, ‘This really speaks to how my brain used to work, and how my brain works now,’ and the fact that I was able to bring them back to an older time.” As for what’s next, Dave says not to expect to see him in the sign business for much longer, as he tends to bore easily. He’s planning his next show to be titled “Mr. Sign” and it will consist of signs he describes as a little bit more twisted or weird, thus marking the end of Mr. Sign, and the beginning of something new. His motivation for doing this? “So my brain doesn’t explode.” []

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Toronto artist Vladimir Kato is an animator by day and a glorious painter by any-other-time-of-the-day. Vladimir’s twisted and hilarious creations include concepts from the far reaches of his mind such as R-rated movies and dark-humoured Italian comics. Luckily, he keeps some of that stuff out of his animation work, as he works on a lot of childrens’ programs. Recently I had a chance to chat with him following his most recent solo art show, titled Wilderness. As an animator, have you had trouble deciding whether a character or concept should go in an animation or your artwork? It depends what it is. My full time job is character design and background design for Teletoon and stuff like that. For instance, right now maybe a more retro character would totally belong in an art gallery. A piece back from the past is not ironic but it brings out the retro cool. People would mock the newer stuff that I would do and they wouldn’t take it seriously, even if my intention was to provoke them. If I were to draw any of the 3D or newer animation styles, they wouldn’t take it seriously in an art gallery. Why is that? I’m not sure. Maybe because it doesn’t have any credibility or it’s too commercial and they don’t understand it. If I were to do that, I would do it on purpose to provoke them to get a reaction and get hate out of them. It would be where I knew they would hate it, but I would do it just to prove that humanity is shitty. Where would you find the separation between work and art? My artwork definitely has my personal humour in it. I would try to explain my personality through my humour. My animation work is completely commercial and I do work based on what my clients want to see. I use technical skills for that. Both works are kind of weird—I



have to put emotion into both of them. I do a lot of background work and you have to convey a lot of emotions and feelings. My personal work is kind of like a party. If I were to describe my personal work, it would be a scene from Trading Places where Eddie Murphy takes all the scumbags from the bar back to his house and the place goes wild. What would you say is your kind of humour? It’s just really obnoxious stuff like a drunk guy in high heels. I am totally going to go back to that kind of stuff because it’s really fun for me. I’m going to be staying away from the upscale hipster stuff. Your artwork is quite spontaneous. More on the serious side, does your artwork hide any political motives that emerge subconsciously? It kind of does. There are political motives that I want to do but I’m being safe and holding it back. I grew up in a communist country and we were isolated from the West, yet we still got exposure to everything, even if it was forbidden, showing how corrupt the government can be at times. Right now, I’m just trying to have some fun with it and find my themes and style. Maybe later I will become more serious with a serious message. Are the tranny pictures a political move? I was upset about the way they were treating the trannies. Even though I am not a homosexual, I admire their culture. This was kind of like an ode to that and how awesome it is, kind of in your face with a Prince vibe. The colours are also totally my colour scheme with the blue, the red, and the black. Prince is one of my favourite artists and I was just listening to him the other night. Wanting to keep your work life separate from your art life is quite difficult, especially with running two solo shows in two years. Did

preparing for these two shows at any point feel like work more than pleasure? Definitely. The first art show was pretty fun because it was my introduction to everybody. With the second one, I had to stick with a theme and I also had my full time job picking up at the same time. I set a theme but I’m so spontaneous that I can never pick something and do it. I always like to explore other options and do random shit, like an artist with A.D.D. The problem with all this was that sometimes, I had a wicked idea in my head but when I go to paint it, I wasn’t having fun painting it and it was almost a chore. When I was goofing off, I have the best time ever. There are a few paintings I planned out this year and it was just a total chore. What will your next show be based around? The next show will definitely be the whole package – some of the technicals and lots of humour. I still haven’t decided on a theme but it will be stuff that I like to see and a bit on what people want to see. This will be the last show and I want to have some fun with it. Finally, how do you see the evolution of your artwork taking place? It is definitely going to evolve. Everything that fazes me always changes and I like to put out the most recent thing that fazes me. The quality will definitely improve and my painting skills will become more complex. My painting skills are getting better each year and right now. It is completely different than it was three or four years ago. I’m going to try some different media, too. I used to do a lot of film and film funny things, following people around with amazing music over top. It will always change and evolve. []

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BEACH BLANKET BINGO! Words: Alicia Wrobel

Photography: Felix Wong

It’s about time you ditch that itsy-bitsy-teenie-weenie-yellow -polka-dot-bikini for something a bit more original. Swimwear companies are upping the ante when it comes to merging fashion with function, and you don’t want to be left behind. If you’re not sure where to start your search, why not try a couple of buzz-worthy ones on for size. Anna Kosturova’s swimwear has graced many famous bodies, including those in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, which she describes as the holy grail of the industry. As a youngster, she spent her summers lounging by the pool from morning to night, and it is because of this she believes she developed her love for all things aquatic. Designing swimwear was a natural progression for her, “I’m just perpetuating my childhood dream by making the beach my office.”



Styling: Toyo Tsuchiya

Well known for using crochet in her pieces to give her control over design, structure and texture, Anna Kosturova promises that, “There will always be lots of colour, sparkle, and emphasis on maximizing the hotness.” If you’re a fan of her innovative designs, that’s good news. Anna has big plans for her company—she envisions offering a head-to-toe resortlook, that would include wrap dresses, swimsuits, shoes, bags and dresses. If you’re looking for something a little more earthy, add a botanical touch to your wardrobe with Maaji Swimwear. In 2002 the brand leads, Veronica Velez and Manuela Sierra, launched the Columbian company. Producing creative swimwear with an eclectic yet modern flair, designers mix patterns and textures to bring uniqueness to each piece. Their

2010 collection, Botanical Touch, brings elegance to bohemian style and offers an array of options including strapless, oneshouldered, halter, and one-piece. As if you didn’t already have enough excuses to leave work and hit the beach, now you have two more. If you’re in the market for a new swimsuit, be sure to check out Anna Kosturova and Maaji Swimwear. They’ll guarantee that no matter where you are, you’ll arrive in style. Mojitos are, unfortunately, not included. [] []

Makeup and Hair: Grace Lee for TRESemmé Hair Care/Plutino Group


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T-shirt-Mark’s Work Warehouse Hoodie-American Apparel Cords-WESC

Night Camp Direction: Vanessa Leigh Photography: Kin Chan

Styling: Charlotte Stokes [] Styling Assistant: Baaron Campbell Makeup and Hair Assistant: Ashley Gesner [] Models: Adrienne N and Sam L [] John T, Mark V and Jillian H []

Adrienne T-shirt-Public Library Shorts-Current Elliot Scarf-Wilfred @ Aritzia Caridigan-Numph

Jillian Top-Democracy Of Nevermind

Mark Shorts-WESC

Adrienne Tank-American Apparel

Sam Top-Finders Keepers

John Dressing gown-WESC

Jillian Swimsuit-Marc by Marc Jacobs @ Holt Renfrew

(Clockwise) Mark Sweater-Mark’s Work Warehouse Shorts-Customized Levi’s

John T-shirt-Mark’s Work Warehouse Hoodie-American Apparel Cords-WESC

John Jacket-Puma T-shirt-Mark’s Work Warehouse Shorts-Puma

Mark Flannel-American Apparel Shorts-Customized Levi’s Shoes-Puma

(L-R) John Cardigan-Diesel @ Holt Renfrew Shorts-Comune

Sam Top and Skirt-Talula @ Aritzia Socks-H&M

Adrienne Dress-Numph

Jillian Caridgan-Numph Shorts-Customized Levis Top-Free @ Aritzia

Jillian Tank-TNA Swimsuit (worn underneath)-Marc By Marc Jacobs @ Holt Renfrew Shorts-American Apparel Shoes-Keds @ Little Burgundy

Sam Jacket-Democracy Of Nevermind Top-American Apparel Shorts-Vintage Levi’s 501 Customized

John Jacket-Puma Top-Mark’s Work Warehouse


Makeup: Andrea Tiller for TRESemmé Hair Care/NOBASURA


Let’s Talk About Zef Words: Michael Mann Photography: André Pinces Live Photography: Kris Krüg

The video “Zef Side” went online in December 2009 and the video for “Enter the Ninja” was up in mid-January 2010. How did they fare initially? Ninja: No one watched them and we started getting insecure and we thought we sucked. Yo-Landi: A weird thing was, suddenly a lot of people caught on to “Zef Side” and we were a little tweaked because we made it for fun. But “Enter the Ninja” was more like our soul. From there, funny enough, “Zef Side” turned people on to “Enter The Ninja.” And that became the big deal. Please explain what Zef is. Ninja: It’s the ultimate style. February 3, 2010 is the day the videos went everywhere. What was that day like? Yo-Landi: It was messed up.



Ninja: It was nighttime. We got home at night after a show, late. We came in from Johannesburg. It was like The Twilight Zone for about a week. Did you leave your computer that week? Ninja: We just left to go to the bathroom and then came back. Or when the food ran out after the third day. We just laid down on the floor and looked at the sky and then went and looked at the computer again. Yo-Landi: When you have like 5,000 emails in your inbox you just give up eventually. I didn’t know what to do. Ninja: When you’d navigate away and come back there was like 2,000 more hits. Once it jumped up 10,000 hits in a second. It was a fokken freak out. So literally over two million people have seen you shaking your dick in the “Zef Side” video?

Ninja: It’s much bigger. Someone posted another one so it’s actually like four million. There’s two there. It’s ridiculous. After the explosion in early February, what happened next for you guys? Ninja: It’s all a psychedelic blur. Everyone wanted to be our friend. Yo-Landi: We went from a small fishing village in South Africa to flying business class to LA. Is it fair to say Die Antwoord is satire? Ninja: Not really. I think it’s just kind of new. A lot of people say that but it’s not really our thing. It’s very personal to us. It’s just how we are. We’ve done other stuff before but I didn’t really know what my fokken zone was. Then when it hit me with Die Antwoord it was like, “This is the fokken shit. We can go full-force into this.” It’s new. People get it and they love it. But some people are cozy with the shit state of pop at the moment and they can’t process it and think

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it’s not real. They’re not into the next dimension yet and are kind of stuck in the past. How old are you? I’m 31. How old are you guys? Ninja: I’m 35 and she doesn’t talk about her age. I’ve been doing other projects for a fokken long time. I’ve heard you say Die Antwoord is an overnight success that was 20 years in the making. Ninja: I’ve been rapping for ages. When rap came out it was so fokken fierce. There was nothing quite like it, but then rap kind of died. It’s huge but it’s this big fokken dead thing, to be perfectly honest. It was so fierce and psychedelic and had so many different



things popping. It started getting big and overtook Garth Brooks in the late Nineties. It was like, “Jesus, rap’s bigger than country.” Now it’s not such a big thing. It’s big but it’s dead. I was experimenting with all this different shit that was way off the fokken mark. It wasn’t close to the core. Then you find something like this. Die Antwoord? It’s fokken personal, Die Antwoord is. Why do you think Die Antwoord has resonated with people on a global level? Ninja: Because it’s new. What was the reaction to you in South Africa? Yo-Landi: Mixed emotions. Because it’s the place we come from

our music means something totally different to someone from South Africa. It’s got different nuances and they hear different things to what you hear. The kids love it. The older people aren’t that sure. Ninja: A lot of old people really, really, really don’t like it. I’m not bragging but we’re the biggest group in the world ever out of South Africa. Like ever, in the history of the whole fokker. There’s Mandela, District 9 and Die Antwoord. That’s the history of South Africa. Someone said that to me and I’m like, “Oh yeah, that’s true.” The style we represent pisses a lot of people off. South Africans generally, the culture—this is gonna be a little controversial what I’m going to say here—the entire culture

is insecure a little bit. Americans, they’re not insecure. You’ll see the French also and they’re like, “Fokk everyone; we’re the centre of the world.” We’re kind of inspired by that attitude. There’s cool fokken shit in South Africa. But the people, as a culture, as a whole, they haven’t got a fokken style. Then we check in and we get to present it and stylize it with full-force. And that’s what Zef is for us—that ultimate flex and it’s fokken South African. It’s a medium to put our most intense life experience and energy into like a bomb, which is Die Antwoord. You mentioned District 9. Is it true the director of that, Vancouverite Neil Blomkamp is going to make your next video?

I can’t believe it. Neil: Fokk you. He was supposed to come tonight. He said “no” right before we came. He thought the show was at 7:30 on the 17th. So he missed it. We’re gonna do something with him but he’s caught up and doing a new film. We’re not sure what it is but probably a video. I haven’t met him yet. We’re looking forward to meeting him. He’s a genius. Yo-Landi, can you confirm that you’re talking to David Fincher about playing Lisbeth in the English version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo? Yo-Landi: He asked me and I said no. We’re shooting a feature film now so the plan didn’t work out. He wanted to shoot in August but

we’re in Japan and then we’re shooting our movie. What’s that called? Yo-Landi: The Answer. And it’s about you guys? Yo-Landi: Yeah. Die Antwoord have this amazing internet presence. However, you’ve signed with a big label, Interscope, and big labels are notoriously bad at the internet… Ninja: It’s like a gangster move. We have a very unique deal. Yo-Landi: I don’t understand. What I mean is big labels just aren’t good at the internet... especially

ION 33

on YouTube. A lot of the time, efforts to monetize online traffic can end up hurting the artist. Ninja: That’s why we’re with Interscope. They don’t restrict us at all. Every single fokken major was knocking on our door. We had a real affection with Interscope, like an understanding. We got an intimate understanding and that’s really fokken important to us. Yo-Landi: They’ve got Wat Pomp. They’ve got fokk you. They put out fokken Tupac. They put out fokken Eminem. They put out Dr. Dre. All these fokken people. You walk into their office and there’s Eminem’s album, fokken Marshall Mathers platinum.



Ninja: They’ve broke a lot of things. The worst thing they can do is restrict. As for the interweb, I can do so much. But when you take it to another level, we make pop music. I want to hit different people. The cool thing is our contract is unique and we have a fort around what we do. In the past you get bands like Queen and The Rolling Stones or Michael Jackson. I don’t think the labels were restricting them. I don’t think they were telling them what to do because they were popping. So the thing is stay popping and you’re gonna get more people plugging into this mechanism. What’s the coolest thing your newfound notoriety has allowed you

to do? Ninja: Get paid. And what’s the master plan to keep people talking about Die Antwoord for years to come? Ninja: I don’t know. We don’t think about that. The future is boring. I don’t care. I never worried about that before and I’m not going to start worrying about that now. []

ION 35


TEAM SPIRITS Words: Aleem Jamal-Kabani

Photography: Justin Tyler Close

Having a stamp of approval from New York’s famed DFA label is one way to turn heads in your direction. Another is to tastefully remix hit songs for bands such as Cut Copy, MGMT and Phoenix. But most of all, the best way to turn heads and keep them turned is to simply make good music—music that won’t rapidly vanish in the pile of hype-machined rubble. Remember when it was acceptable to take your time composing music and actually write those things called songs? Alex Frankel and Nick Millhiser of Holy Ghost! sure do. We got a chance to sit down with them on the Vancouver stop of their tour with LCD Soundsystem. How did your involvement with DFA come about? Nick: We met them through our old band Automato—which was Alex and I and four other guys. James Murphy and Tim Goldsworthy produced that band. After that band fell apart, we all just sort of remained friends and Alex and I started working on what became Holy Ghost! very shortly after. What did your musical background consist of when you formed the Holy Ghost! outfit? Nick: We’d both kind of been into dance music, as teenagers, but Automato was straight up rap. We both grew up listening to anything and everything. Meeting James and Tim was definitely a catalyst to start moving towards dancier tempo’s and sounds. It was also out of necessity after Automata broke up. We had been making rap for so long and thought that’s what we’d be doing, but we didn’t know any rappers [laughs]. So I guess we had to figure something else out. Alex: Direction also came from searching through dollar bins at record stores. We’d stumble across disco records from the late Seventies and early Eighties with the intent to sample them for rap music but then sort of started to actually like those songs that we were looking to sample from. Those weird dollar bin records definitely had an influence. What would you say distinguishes Holy Ghost! from other dance music out there? What’s your trademark sound?


Alex: Live drums. We were lucky enough to record a lot with Jerry Fuchs before he passed away. I’ve always said the drums are the most important thing in our sound. Live drums, not samples. Nick’s a good drummer and Jerry was obviously an amazing drummer. That combined with old kits, old mics, compressors, pre-amps kinda help us get as close to a Fleetwood Mac drum sound or whatever we’re after. We’ll often go to bigger studio just to do the drums because you can’t really do that in your bedroom. Nick: Also, I think in general, along the same lines as using live drums, we use a lot of synths. A lot of the stuff we do is played by hand. Even if it’s just a really simple one- or two-bar loop, instead of programming it with midi and recording it back into the computer—Alex or I will play it and do a really long take, even if it’s the same thing over and over again, Alex: You sometimes make weird mistakes due to human error and those accidents turn into the best parts. Like when you hit the wrong note or turn the phrase around on itself by accident and end up like “Oh shit, that’s it!” It’s just more fun too. It’s performative. Nick: I think a big part of our love for older gear is simply hands on is more fun. But at the same time I guess there is a slight hatred of staring at a computer screen. Alex: Pretending we’re controlling a spaceship is more fun than pretending to be an accountant at a tax office. Being a two-man band, translating your recorded music into a live show was presumably a bit tricky given the abundance of old and delicate outboard gear you guys use. How did you manage to accomplish that? Nick: It’s been really hard, but we’ve been fortunate. We got hooked up with this company called Dave Smith Instruments, which is a new company that makes analog stuff run by Dave Smith who ran Sequential Circuits in the Eighties when they created some of the most amazing and beautiful synthesizers ever. So we’ve been using a lot of their stuff which sounds really great but is also small, durable, affordable and designed to be taken on the road… We also had to

find some awesome dudes to play with us. None of our stuff is super technically demanding, but it can be physically demanding. Alex:. We’re still figuring it out. I think we’ll just keep adding elements as we go and live by the LCD motto: Start how you can and anytime you can get a little more money throw it back into the band. How has it been touring with LCD Soundsystem thus far, both on and off the stage? Alex: Amazing. On most tours, I assume there is usually a divide between the headliners and the support and they’re called that: support and headline. They travel separately, they don’t necessarily know each other’s songs and they’re kind of put together by a record label because they think it’s a bill that’ll work or whatever. But in this case, these are the same people we’ll be drinking with around the corner in Brooklyn if we weren’t all on tour. That, plus the fact they know our music really well. James knows the lyrics to our songs and of course we know their songs by heart. It’s pretty fun and relaxed and musically it’s really nice to have them all there to help and give us advice from their experience. I don’t think we’ll probably ever go on a tour this fun again… it’s all down hill from here [laughs]. To kick off the tour with LCD, you guys jumped into the fire with a series of sold out shows in New York. How was it playing some of your first live shows as Holy Ghost! in your hometown? Alex: Scaaaaary! Nick: As daunting as it was to playing in New York for our first shows, it’s also really nice to do four shows in a row with literally all your best friends standing right behind you. Alex: Plus, being in New York you can take the subway home after the show! []

ION 37



Words: Trevor Risk

Photography: Jonathon Kingsbury

In the year 200X, the scientist Dr. Thomas Xavier Light created a robot which he called Mega Man. After the success of his creation Dr. Light and his assistant Dr. Wily built several other robots to defend against the dangers to humans. With what could only be described as premeditated insanity, Dr. Wily re-programmed the new machines to take control of the planet. In a world of allies, heroes and legends, Mega Man was a machine to create freedom. After a most tumultuous fight and adventure, Mega Man was nearly destroyed only to have his unconscious body saved by Breakman, a robot who regularly blocked Mega Man’s path along the way only to disappear after he was defeated. When Mega Man came to, Dr. Light revealed that Breakman was actually his first creation… Protoman. Turns out that Protoman has a band and they will never let the darkness win. We caught up with two of the players in their hometown of Nashville, Tennessee. Tell our readers about the musical climate of Nashville. Commander: It’s a strange beast, for sure. Most people associate it with Country music and the industry surrounding it, but in reality, there is a shit load of rock and roll happening there. Secretly, almost every rock band in Nashville is wishing that the rest of the world would appreciate how much good non-country music is coming out of Nashville, and simultaneously terrified that any high profile exposure from the rock community would damage their “cred.” Either way, the best players, country and not, are in Nashville. What is your live show like? How do you pull it off? Panther: We pretty much do everything that the Blue Man Group



does, except we’re silver instead of blue.... and don’t have anywhere close to the budget they have. Oh, and we play much tougher jams. On the road, we take 10 brave men and women, forgo sleep and nutrition, disregard any and all safety precautions and barrel our way through the country playing rock and roll. It’s not a pretty job.... but at least it doesn’t pay well. We take three times as much gear as any smart traveling rock band, spend twice as much time getting ready for shows, and take nine times as long loading out. But what we lack in blazing speed and efficiency, we make up with sassy good looks and raging beauty. So when “Give Us The Rope” begins, do some uninitiated fans think you may be busting into a cover of Ol’ Dirty Bastard’s “Shimmy Shimmy Ya”? Panther: By God, if they don’t, we haven’t done our job. The Protomen: Jesus Christ Superstar sung by “Thunder Road”era Springsteen… if Christ was actually Mega Man. Is that a fair observation? Panther: Yes. Nailed it. That’s the best description we’ve heard so far. Truthfully though, the religious overtones probably stem from the fact that the Bible is one of the best tales of good vs evil ever. We also would’ve accepted “The Protomen: Masters Of The Universe, as sung by Streets Of Fire era Diane Lane.... if that Dolph Lundgren fellow was actually Mega Man... and If Diane Lane was a bunch of dudes in makeup.” Actually, our description wins because it has the all-important “as written by Jim Steinman” clause implied.... and it also has Diane Lane. Commander: Originality is like dancing with a one legged bear...nearly impossible, and if you mess up, you’re dead. Capcom; what’s their reaction? Panther: I’m going to tell you the honest-to-God truth here. Capcom

is sort of like a giant corporate goldfish. Once every six months, their community representative contacts us with a very polite “Hi, we’re Capcom... we really like your band and wanted to say hi and introduce ourselves” letter. We respond with “Hi. We’re the Protomen. We really like you too, but we’ve already met.” They’re like some sweet good-looking sorority pledge that had too much to drink at a party and couldn’t remember who she’d made out with. That being said, we love the hell out of Capcom, and we look forward to all of their sweet letters of introduction. Someday, perhaps, we’ll meet. We’ll make the cutest couple! What percent of audiences think that you aren’t serious? Is it a higher percentage in certain cities or countries? Commander: We’re very aware of the dragon that we ride. We know how we look to the outside world. We’re sort of like that Michael Bolton looking lion guy in Linda Hamilton’s Beauty and the Beast show... Once you get to know us you realize that we’re really a beautiful prince man in a Michael Bolton monster suit that just happens to be living in a sewer. Our show is a somewhat careful balance of all the most ridiculous and fun things possible. Some people like the pretty prince side.... some people like the Michael Bolton monster living in a sewer side. In the end, all we’re shooting for is that people are entertained.... and don’t worry, I don’t follow any of my analogies either. []



IMPALA, MATE Words: Tyler Fedchuk

Photography: Tyler Quarles

Tame Impala are Australia’s biggest psych rock export. This summer the four-piece released their fuzzed out debut full length Innerspeaker on the Modular imprint and recently completed a North American tour with MGMT. The band’s frontman Kevin Parker took a minute to answer some burning questions about recording their album in a shack, salsa and working with The Flaming Lips’ producer, Dave Fridmann. Where exactly was Innerspeaker recorded? It’s difficult to say exactly. It’s just a giant, mostly wooden house on the coast about four hours south of Perth. It’s not a studio or anything, we just took down some of our own recording gear and set up all our bits and pieces in the main room. We were pretty adamant from the beginning that we didn’t want to go to a professional studio. In fact, we would have been happy to do it at home, where I do most of my recordings. But most people involved, including our manager and label, encouraged us to get a designated location where we wouldn’t be distracted, so I asked our manager to just get us a shack on the beach. Is it true you built a battery-powered recording studio? I hyped it up a bit. It’s mostly just my 8-track with a whole pile of jacks and chords and headphones running out of it. I was pretty proud of it



though. It was so inspiring shooting through endless American landscape at 100 miles an hour, it seemed a waste not to be recording music at the same time. It goes anywhere that has oxygen and road houses to fill up on AA batteries. Having Dave Fridmann master your album must have been interesting. Did he have much influence over the final sound of Innerspeaker, or was that pretty much what you envisioned sonically when you began recording? Well, like most people who are fans of Dave’s, I envisioned him having sonic super-powers, so it was relieving to discover that he had to work within the same sound boundaries as everyone else. That said, when you want the sound to do something, something that happens to be really weird or unconventional, where most sound engineers will say “No, no way, that’s a terrible idea,” Dave will say “Okay... let’s try it.” I remember asking him if he was concerned about how lo-fi the tracks had been recorded, and he said that if people asked him why the Tame Impala album sounds the way it does he said he’d say “Kevin came in with his funny little 8-track with its funny sounds and I just worked with it.” Are there any particular bands or albums that have influenced your sound? For this album, I suppose Dungen, Caribou, Beatles, Portishead, Flaming Lips, MGMT, Silver Apples... But it’s not like those names always come up

when I’m putting the song together. It’s more about how I appreciate the sound looking back at it. Is there an overall lyrical theme to Innerspeaker? There wasn’t meant to be, but looking back at it there definitely seems to be recurring themes. Self-questioning... Trusting your own judgement but never being really sure of anything... Your guess is as good as mine though. What’s been the most interesting touring experience in America so far? Probably Los Angeles as a whole. Everyone just does what they want and it seems to be a perpetual celebration/holiday. I could be way off the mark though. What have you guys been eating on your American Tour? Salsa and corn chips and salsa and corn chips and salsa and corn chips and salsa and corn chips. There seems to be a lot more cheese on everything. So what is your favourite vegetarian dish? Vegemite on toast. []

ION 41


The Clientele [Minotaur] DVAS [Society] Hot Panda [How Come I’m Dead?] Kylie [Aphrodite]


[1] The Clientele Minotaur Merge The Clientele have always been the band that I’ve listened to on cold and rainy days, but their sixth release, Minotaur EP, is being released in the middle of summer. “What the fuck?” Listening to this on a hot and humid evening, though, I begin to see how the violin and dreamy guitar perfectly soundtrack a barely dressed girl, in her apartment holding a flower that moves in the wind from her fan. “That romantic shit or whatever!” The electric bass sound. The English man’s voice. The yams in the oven. A song gets dark. “I love you, okay?” The eighth track comes on, “Nothing Here Is What It Seems,” and the pop gets wet and the drunk outside is still screaming: “I’ll learn Greek. So fuck you!” This is a nice and seasonal record to play in your living room. -Stefana Fratila [2] DVAS Society Upper Class Recordings Not for nothing but this album didn’t make my backbone slide; nor did it make my pants feel tight. Society’s strongest moments are achieved at the beginning of the album, with the title track and “Consenting Adults” being the best offerings.  After the midpoint all of the tracks sound repetitive and more like an afterthought.  Their last two tracks, “Giving it All Away” and “Passionate Persuasion,” would do better by not being on the album at all. My advice to DVAS would be to release strong singles, rather than throw out a




full length that doesn’t have any real umphh. It’s not that it’s a bad album, it just isn’t really great.  In summation, if Society was a Star Trek phaser setting, it would be meh. -Dr. Ian Super [3] Hot Panda How Come I’m Dead? Mint Boy, this is nice! How Come I’m Dead sounds like the perfect soundtrack for a sick new movie you could write in your head. Imagine the playful new alterations of the title that you could come up with … for instance: “How Come I’m Dad?” or “Homecoming, I’m Done.” Don’t those sound like nice movies to watch? It seems like Edmonton’s Hot Panda are ready. A song like “Fuck Shit Up/ Hell Hey Hex” is asking for a toss an’ turn in a busy and abandoned ‘venue’. Maybe I’m losing my grip on what music really is to me. But right now I just wish I could see this band live because, man, when I hear “Start Making Sense” I know those are the kind of guitar riffs I want to hear now and then... like the moment when we first felt something from music in ninth grade. Where were Hot Panda when we were in ninth grade!? -Stefana Fratila [4] Kylie Aphrodite Capitol The beauty of what sets Kylie Minogue’s 20-year career apart from that of other decade-spanning pop icons like Madonna is that while Madge and co. have radically reinvented themselves for every comeback, Kylie has fought all


conventional wisdom and stuck to what she does best: dance. (Dance! DANCE!) When she did experiment—with Body Language’s R&B flavour, or X’s scattershot of electro, disco and conventional radio bait—her unrepentant club beats lacked their usual luster. But Aphrodite is as precisely and distinctively Kylie as we’ve seen since Fever—catchy, heart pumping, love struck pop. Kylie sums up her 11th album in its title track (over a primal Rhythm Nation-style drum line): “It’s the truth / It’s a fact / I was gone and now I’m back.” It’s an auspicious return that hits every note longtime fans want their nouveau-disco queen to hit. Pop-rock “Cupid Boy” is a characteristically exuberant love song, and “All the Lovers,” the lead single whose music video has Kylie writhing in a 15-story-high dogpile of half-naked models (think Human Centipede meets the video for “Slow”—don’t fight it, you know it sounds hot), is simply euphoric synthpop. And “Get Outta My Way,” the album’s pièce de résistance, marks Kylie’s throwdown dance floor hit, every bit as infectious as “In Your Eyes” or “Love at First Sight.” -Nojan Aminosharei

M.I.A. [/\/\ /\ Y /\] Mogwai [Special Moves] Procedure Club [Doomed Forever] Wolf Parade [Expo 86]



[5] M.I.A. /\/\ /\ Y /\ Interscope There comes a moment in every controversial musician’s career where the tides turn and the fans that once anticipated her songs with genuine relish pull the pedestal out from under their idol and wait to watch her fall. For M.I.A., her third and possibly most personal album, /\/\ /\ Y /\, is that moment. But then again, that moment has been coming in fits and starts for months. First, there was the online release of M.I.A.’s uber-violent music video for “Born Free,” a calculated controversy that missed the mark with its oversimplified human rights allegory. Then there was Lynn Hirschberg’s New York Times Magazine takedown, which publicly shredded M.I.A.’s credibility as a revolutionary (if indeed anyone ever took her self-appointed role of pop star-pundit seriously). /\/\ /\ Y /\’s lyrics are often clumsy attempts at incendiary political statement, and lines like “Connected to the Google / Connected the government” (in opener “The Message”) are off-putting enough even before you realize they include not a shred of irony. The album is full of misses (and several near-hits), and it’s not as catchy as its predecessors, but it will hardly be the end of M.I.A. Behind /\/\ /\ Y /\’s over-aggresiveness are the makings of solid hip hop. If she learns to lay off, she might have us eating out of the palm of her truffle-fry-stained hands all over again. -Nojan Aminosharei


[6] Mogwai Special Moves Rock Action Mogwai are a cute, fuzzy, little chipmunk things that you buy from secret underground shops in Chinatown. They make delightful pets, multiply in numbers if you get them wet and turn into fiendish gremlins if fed after midnight. Mogwai is also a band from Scotland. They do really long, really pretty, cinematic sounding songs. Their live album is an elegant sampling of their best work. It comes with a DVD of the concert. As far as live albums go, there’s nothing absolutely mind blowing here. That said, Mogwai themselves are mindblowing. This might be a good introduction for the unfamiliar or a good way to revisit them if you haven’t paid attention to them in a while. -Kellen Powell [7] Procedure Club Doomed Forever Slumberland Like Halley’s Comet or a successful Oakland Raiders season, noise pop is a thing again for the first time in decades and we’re all paying attention. The best part about the genre is the idea that the melody is the Aspirin you require to ease the pain while the unearthly tones and production are the jam to spoon-feed to the contrarian music fan. If Procedure Club’s Doomed Forever was stripped down the songs would be more akin to Shonen Knife’s than they are to Prolapse’s. But with 8-bit drums and guitars referencing the out-of-tune stylings of Chin Chin (an excellent re-release by Slumberland Records, by the way) the band becomes both catchy to the easy summer listener and


respected by the stubborn I-Hate-All-Pop-Music art house fatty. Add the fact that the song structures range from the waltzy finger waggling of “Rather” to the sludgy butt-rock crawl of “Nautical Song” and you’ve got yourself a record to give you late night cred at a gallery opening while you secretly smooch it goodnight before you place it in a lavender scented box under your bed next to a copy of The Gentle Waves’ The Green Fields of Foreverland. -Trevor Risk [8] Wolf Parade Expo 86 Sub Pop A sentence I hear more and more lately is, “(band name) had to make (mediocre album) so that they could make (clearly superior album).” I’ve heard it said about Ariel Pink’s latest. I’ve heard it said about the last two or three Animal Collective releases. I am hoping beyond hope to hear it when the next Strokes album is released. However, I may have to use that sentence to talk about Expo 86. At Mount Zoomer, Wolf Parade’s previous release, fell short of my ridiculously high expectations. However, Wolf Parade brought the sprawling, ass-kicking aspects of Zoomer into the fold with the flawless hooks and energy of Apologies to the Queen Mary. On Expo 86, it no longer seems that the primary songwriters, Dan Boeckner and Spencer Krug, are dueling with each other. Rather, they seemed to work that relationship out on Zoomer and their respective side projects. What we are left with is a more cohesive, focused album that seems more representative of the talent involved. Plus, the album art is effing amazing. -Ian Urbanski

ION 43


Christine Hale



Really bad gig posters are the equivalent of projectile vomiting on the audience according to Christine Hale. And let’s face it, there is only a small minority of sick perverts out there who enjoy that. The illustrator, designer and musician with

Montreal-based band, The Hoof & The Heel, hopes that instead, her surrealist, cartoon animations simply speak to people. “There are three kinds of gig posters: the ones that just speak, the ones that are visually stunning, but kind of mumble or speak their own

language; and then the ones that can speak, but also be visually aesthetic, which is what I try to do with my posters.” If you’re a charity or non-profit, Christine may just pick up her pencil and

make you a poster for free because that’s just the kind of nice gal that she is. []

ION 45


Words: Zia Hirji





[1] [NASA] Want to know what’s going on in space? Probably. Have $200,000? Probably Not. Apart from booking a Virgin Galactic flight, following the NASA Twitter account may be the next best thing. [@NASA]

[3] [NOWNESS] Nowness is an arts and culture blog geared towards people who read Wallpaper and can tell you the name of their favourite Julian Schnabel piece. If you can get over the whole “online luxury lifestyle experience” of this site it can be a fairly interesting read. You’ll also have to try and ignore all the references to LVMH Brands (who also own this website). []

[2] [NERD BOYFRIEND] “Geek Chic is coming back!” I have no clue what that statement means and whoever makes comments like this should have their lips superglued together. This website combs photos of cultural icons of yore and breaks down how to get their aesthetic. Pretty neat.

[4] [P.S. I MADE THIS] Sixty years ago this website wouldn’t have been special. People would have been like. “Hey we make stuff with our hands all the time!” But now we just buy things migrant workers make using future robots, so it’s nice to DIY sometimes. This blog gives you instructions on how to make any accessory you want with things you probably already have. Etsy’s going to be pissed!





HOROSCOPES THIS MONTH: Ryan Kerr Ryan Kerr is an artist, author and performer based in Toronto. His first book, On Growin’ Up was just recently published and should be 10% as successful as a Canadian Bestseller by the end of this year. Ryan has a fetish for vintage glassware and things in general that are pretty but impractical. He also laughs at his own jokes. [] LEO: Even when it’s your time of year, remember that even the cutest of polar bears can’t smile or wink away the melting ice caps.  Nor can your excellent hair save you from terrible shoes.  Avoiding areas that need attention will only lead to, well, less excellent hair overall. VIRGO: You’ll never get anything done if you just stand there. Take off your pop-bottle glasses and headgear and step into the friggin’ sunshine already!  I’m sure that under all that nonsense, you’re even an attractive person.  And if not, follow someone attractive to a Pilates class! LIBRA: Remember to sort your plastics from your paper and glass—especially now.  Avoid certain death by reading from solar-powered iPads instead of wasteful printed pulp and paper publications.  You don’t want the Green Army to penalize you for not donating enough endangered Milk Thistle seeds to the We-Live-Better-ThanYou-Live Society.  Or maybe you DO!

SCORPIO: Sylvester Stallone’s mother, Jackie, is also an astrologer. In addition to inventing “rumpology” (AKA the palmistry of your butt), she has published books on more traditional star signs. In one, she says Scorpians are known for their beautiful genitalia.  Share my confidence in Jackie and make your gifts KNOWN already! SAGITTARIUS: It’s not your fault if that lunchtime quickie left your house and was immediately hit by a bus.  Fact is, bad stuff happens.  If you ever wanna avert a global disaster—ie a Backstreet Boys Reunion LP—don’t be so fucking hard on yourself. Only a useless idiot would keep that up! CAPRICORN: Being alive is a lot like baking a cake. Too much salt and it’s game over.  Plus, you only get one chance (per cake).  Just for kicks, why not try a new approach to creating something you can be proud of.  Season these upcoming months with moderate doses of fun rather than typical binge drinking marathons.  You’re an irritating drunk.

AQUARIUS: When the Aquarian Sun aligns with the Pescatarian Moon, a Lacto-Ovo Vegetarian will become a Twilight Vegan. Translation: you will be bombarded with watery, meaningless tripe this season.  Question is, will you choose to ingest it? PISCES: Dear Piscean, allow me to impart some wise words I once shared with my fishy mother.  MAKE A FUCKING DECISION ALREADY.  It’s not like you haven’t weighed the shit out of the options. Or, conversely, don’t.  It’s not my life. ARIES: Aries-heads have a lot goin’ on. Always good with your hands, great skin etc, etc. It’s just that dour-as-shit grimace you’ve been sporting recently that’s putting people off. You know that expression about lemons? Well stop sucking them already! Whiney looks about as good on you as navy socks in tan leather sandals look on my mother.

clumsily smashing delicate objects with your knobby heads. More than once, you are the first to leave the party—out of shame.  I’ve always felt that you have so much more to offer.  But you know what?   I’ve been wrong before! GEMINI: Using the expression “polar opposites” to describe two incomparable things seems wrong to me.  First of all, the North and South Poles are BOTH fucking inhabitable wastes of space.  Secondly, they’re similarly icy cold, lame, and remote.  Maybe your “bi-polar” personalities aren’t such opposites either.  Think about it… CANCER: Not everyone wants a Cancer.  The sooner you realize this, the sooner you can dump that piece of trash you’re dating and aim for someone who actually wants you for you.  Someone hot?  Focused maybe?  Even rich?  Nevermind, you’re gonna ignore this and just “take a break” aren’t you?

TAURUS: You bulls have such a crummy reputation. It’s always you, bottle in hand,

ION 47





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Beach Read anything by Hunter S Thompson or Dr. Seuss Blue PlatyPus Blog Madeline Wood Food TRuck Van Leeuwen yak Pak online SToRe Queen of Heartz

PeRSon To Follow on TwiTTeR Garey Busey dead Cities

Song oR alBum Jane’s Addiction - Summertime Rolls Model Citizen ClotHing

S k c i P r e m Sum

STReeT aRTiST Neck Face MaPtote SummeR dRink/Venue vodka press / on the roof 2enju

Thing To do in VegaS have a bacon martini at the Double Down Saloon Headline sHirts TRend in FaShion bright colors and bold prints alter ego jeWelry

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