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Sexual Temptations Of Man

Sexual Temptations Of Man This work is dedicated to my dear friend Ron Akre – a man who found victory over the sexual temptations of man!

If our Lord leads you, consider donating to our tax-deductible ministry: DONATE NOW: IOM AMERICA

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are taken from the New American Revised Standard (NASB),  1960, 1962, 1963, 1971, 1973 by the Lockman Foundation, are used by permission. Sexual Temptations of Man ISBN: In application process Printed in the United States of America Copyright  2013 by Dr. Stephen R. Phinney IOM America Box 71 Sterling, KS 67579 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Phinney, Stephen Ray Sexual Temptations of Man/by Stephen R. Phinney, D.Min. In application process.  2004, 2008, 2009, 2011, 2012, 2013 IOM America Sterling, KS

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TABLE OF CONTENTS Section

Page

Introduction Explanation of Study Guide Topics Author’s Challenge

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Lesson One Sexual Temptations Lesson Two Rearranging The Order Lesson Three Original Design of Man Lesson Four Original Marriage Lesson Five Passivity of Immorality Lesson Six Know Your Enemy Lesson Seven Satan’s Limited Power Lesson Eight A Man’s Victory Lesson Nine A Man’s Love for Beauty Lesson Ten Masturbation Lesson Eleven Dressing Spiritually Lesson Twelve Men Who Are Strong

5 10 14 18 22 26 31 36 39 44 48 50

APPENDIX Practical Aspects of Running Small Groups Learning To Pray Doctrinally – Sample Prayers Tools of Warfare Desensitization of Satan The Power of Prayer Personal Reflection & Confession Praise & Adoration Prayers & Supplication Sample Intercessory Prayer Prayer of Repentance Prayer of Renouncing Sexual Bonds Prayer Breaking Down Relational Walls Prayer Against Adultery Prayer Against Fornication Prayer Against Sensuality Prayer for Marriages Prayer for Children & Sexual Perversions 3

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Introduction: The Sexual Temptations of Man study guide is designed for men only. This study can be used as a private Bible study, independent of a group, although, this study is most effective in a small group environment. As a counselor, I understand the difficulty for men to submit themselves to other men – particularly in a small group structure. Due to this reality, I strongly suggest using this guide as tools to help yourself, as well as other men you know, gain the knowledge and freedom needed in Christ Jesus. Another method that is less threatening is; pick a friend that would be willing to go through the study independently of you then come together on a weekly basis over a “cup of coffee” and discuss your answers. This avenue could help bring a certain level of support that you may need in order to embrace your freedom. The ideal way to complete this study is in a small group format. In the Appendix section of this study, you will find helpful information on how to lead a successful small group.

We have provided the following topics: † † † † † † † † † † † † † † † †

Understanding Structure Setting Objectives Seven Core Values of Transformation Small Groups Small Group Organizational Charts Understanding Men & Their Mentors Being Called as a Leader Group Leaders in Action Teaching Hints The Five M’s of Ministry People of Hindrance Men that Bless Ministry Four Levels of Transparency and Intimacy Training an Apprentice Leading the Group Preparation Check Lists Much more . . .

It is my prayer that you not only enjoy this study, but that you would experience the freedom Christ Jesus offers you from all forms of Sexual Temptations of Man. If you are in need of talking to counselor/discipler personally, please do not hesitate to contact our ministry. IOM America P.O. Box 71 Sterling, KS 67579 sphinney@iomamerica.org (602) 292-2985

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Sexual Temptations Of Man

Temptations of Man 12 Week Study By Stephen R. Phinney

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Introductions  Each group member should consider offering the following information: 1) Name 2) Age 3) Who in your personal acquaintances seems to have the best handle on the issue of sexual temptations?

What Women Think: 

The talk of the table turned to what women found interesting in men…One young lady said she liked a man with dark eyes…Another said she preferred strong, muscular men. Another said she was attracted to men with beards. Then one of the well seasoned ladies at the table spoke up and said… ‘I don’t know many young women who are not drawn by looks, money and strength but most women who have been hurt by the superficial elements of men don’t seem to care about what he owns, the size of his home, amount of his investments, how his body looks, what he can achieve, people he knows, the model of his car or the status he holds in the community. I believe women, as a whole, are drawn to men who are strong in character, faithful, reliable, hardworking, men of integrity and are not easily seduced by the superficial seductions of a women who are out to steal the hearts of men. These are the things I love about a man.’ There was silence at the table. –Anonymous

Your Turn What do you consider the top two most valuable male attributes women adore?

Group Leader: Have each attendee share their answers. When completed, read 2 Timothy 2:21-26 to the men.

NOTES:

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Here Are Some Statistics To Be Aware Of:       

One third of American children are not living with their natural fathers Over 15 million kids are growing up in homes without any father Seventy percent of the men in prison grew up without a father Over one and a half million children a year watch their parents split up Sixty percent of all marriages in Arizona end in divorce Nine out of ten men have had sex before marriage Over eighty percent of men masturbate after married

Your Turn Write out a brief description of how the world of immorality has affected you:

Group Leader: Ask your group if there is someone who feels comfortable sharing their description with the other men.

What are some of the avenues of sexual temptations that men face today? 1) ____________________________ 2) ____________________________ 3) ____________________________ 4) ____________________________

Group Leader: Have a few men share their answers.

5) ____________________________

How are most young men introduced to immorality? 1) ________________________________________________________ 2) ________________________________________________________ 3) ________________________________________________________

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The following five ways keeps immorality alive in a male mind: 1) 2) 3) 4) 5)

Taking a second look at women Not standing against sexually explicit movies and music Pornography Masturbation Men finding identity in their sexual abilities

Did you know? 1. Men love the look of a nude woman. 2. Ninety-three percent of all men have looked at nude women. 3. Ninety-six percent of all men know where to find pictures of nude women. The question is what you are going to do about the facts. We can simply accept the facts and give in to our flesh or we can live a life of integrity and avoid the pitfalls and traps of Sexual Temptations of Man. This is almost every man's battle.

Fact #1 Women are beautiful because that's the way God made them. We are naturally attracted to them. If you're not, then there is probably another ministry out there that can help you with the “other” problem. However, for all those that are attracted to women, we need to put into perspective women's beauty. Our flesh seeks to distort and destroy God's ultimate plan for relationships between men and women. He did not create women for us to be able to defile another man’s property and lust in our hearts to have them. He did not design the woman's body so we could steal from the domain of God’s perfect design. There is so much more to God's plan. You need to understand that attraction is from God's heart, but lust is from the deeds of the flesh – Satan’s kingdom.

Fact #2 Ok, most men continue to stay in denial, sit there and say that they don’t take that “second look”. As a counselor, I can't believe how many men still discuss this issue as "other man's problem." It kind of goes like this...."well my friend Jeff... Most men use the “third person” to reveal a Sexual Temptation they struggle with. Embracement (pride) stops them from confessing their own lust and desires to defile the design of woman.

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Fact #3 Here is the clincher, we have established the fact that most men like to look. Now finally, there is the truth that men know where to find pictures that stimulate their flesh. That is the “golden key” to the enemies attack on the character of man. What are we going to do about it? Put safeguards in your life right now!! Don't have it be a secret any longer. Get real and stop messing around with your integrity and your future. Get some accountability partners, like joining this “Sexual Temptations Of Man” small group, and start talking openly and honestly about these issues. The facts speak for themselves. As men of God, it is time for us to rise to the occasion and be the leaders that God has designed us to be. Do it for yourself. Do it for your wife. Do it for your kids. Do it because God (your Faithful Father) wants you to protect the hearts of women, children, community and nation! The goal of your small group is to equip you with the tools necessary to maintain sexual integrity and to enjoy healthy, productive relationships and insight into the nature of sexual temptation and be able to use those tools to battle it.

The World Cries Out For Real Men The world cries for men who are strong: in conviction, to stand, to lead, & to suffer. Live life, then, with a due sense of responsibility, not as men who do not know the meaning and purpose of life but as those who do. Make the best use of your time, despite all the difficulties of these days. Don’t be vague but firmly grasp what you know to the will of the Lord. – Ephesians 5:15-17

Quotable “Radical feminism has blurred the distinction between the sexes, leaving many men and women today stranded in regard to forming their sex roles.” The Mark of a Man – Elizabeth Elliot

Trinity Of Brothers What do you hope to gain from this small group?

What topics do you hope the group leader will cover? (Write down and give to primary leader) 9


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What will affect you the most from today’s discussion?

How can the group be praying for you?

Group Leader: Break your group into cells of three. Pick a leader for each tirade. This leader is to ask the stated questions and lead in a time of prayer. Give each tirade approximately 20 minutes. When they have completed the assignments, they are free to dismiss themselves.

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Introductions Each group member should consider offering the following information:

 

Give an update on how their week went regarding temptations Leader should write down prayer concerns noted

Rearranging Gods Order The original family did not start with Adam and Eve. The first family was established in Heaven – God the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit and the Father’s angels. The angels were organized in three primary arenas: Lucifer – in charge of worship; Michael – in charge of warfare; and Gabriel – in charge of delivering the messages of the Father. See Diagram 1 The first family unit provided the Father with His central relationships, nurture, and support. God gave us an earthly model to live by through the order and preexisting relationships He had/has in Heaven. His creation was based upon an order and flow that He was most familiar with – His own. According to Hebrew studies, family is based upon several factors; place of residence, a tribe, descendants, property, and dependency on a father, authority and of coarse the first-born son getting married. God the Father holds His residence in Heaven; His tribe is the children of God and His angels. His descendants were created through Adam and spiritually through His Son’s marriage to the Bride of Christ, the Church. God’s property is Heaven and the earth that He created for His footstool. He created man to be completely dependant on Him as their Father, which gave Him authority of everything. This makes up the perfect plan for the development of God’s family unit – His tribe. Many modern views of “family” completely rape the world of the true reason and purpose of a godly family. Because of man’s sin, he/she has made serious modifications to the original design. The design of Heaven is not restrictive, but freeing and perfect. God has never modified His view of family here on earth. If He did so, it would be giving in to the plan and plot Satan has to take over the order of Heaven. Satan was removed from Heaven because God 11


Sexual Temptations Of Man wouldn’t adjust His order to accommodate the views of a follower. We will spend more time talking about this in later lessons, but know that mankind’s guilt and disorder does not tempt God to change the order of the FIRST family.

Your Turn In your view, why would it be so critical for Satan to attempt to destroy the order of the FIRST Family?

Group Leader: Have each attendee share their answers. When completed, read Genesis 1:26 to the men.

The enemy has been diligent in rearranging the order God has established to preserve His testimonies and Truth. For example . . . •

In 1942 – Over 95% of American men encourage their wives to be workers at home. Titus 2:5

In 2004 – Over 95% of American men encourage their wives to be workers outside the home.

What other ways come to mind regarding how the enemy rearranges God’s order?

Group Leader: Have several of your own answers ready to share with the group. Pornography seems to be one of the leading ways that the enemy attempts to rearrange God’s design of man and woman. The industry of porn is a clever and addictive way for the enemy to introduce homosexuality and lesbianism. Consider the following statistics:

Did you know? •

$12 Billion – Annual revenue generated by pornography in the United States. Source: www.familysafemedia.com 12


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$1 Billion – Revenue generated per year by internet sex sites. Source: www.xxxchurch.com

800 Million – Number of adult videos and DVDs rented each year. Source: www.worldandi.com

72 Million – Internet users who visit pornographic Web sites per year.

80% of 15-17 year olds who have had multiple exposures to hard-core pornography.

13% of women who admit to accessing porn Web sites while at work. Source www.internetfilterview.com

11 years of age is the average age of first porn exposure.

In your opinion, what are the common traps of pornography?

Group Leader: Have several volunteers share their answers. God has given us built in warning signs in our hearts, minds and environments to protect us from the traps of immorality. Here are the top twelve found in counseling men who struggle with immorality.

Warning Signs To Be Aware Of: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12.

A father who demonstrates immorality Few or no “parental controls” over media Hanging with “friends” who are immoral Fantasizing when masturbating Looking at “pictures” when masturbating Adopting masturbation as a healthy form of “release” Taking your first look at porn Casual commitment to Christ Chinks in your armor – worldly thinking Avoiding mentorship Pride - avoids saying “I was wrong” Unrepentant heart

How many of these apply to you? _____ out of eleven. Describe the level of morality your father exhibited while you were growing up: _______________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ 13


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Trinity Of Brothers What did you hear today that brought the most conviction?

When do you feel most manly?

When you look in a mirror, what do you feel most guilt about?

How can the group be praying for you?

Group Leader: Depending on time, try to gain responses to each of these questions. If time is a factor, do not skip over the “praying for you� question.

NOTES:

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Introductions Each group member should consider offering the following information:  Give an update on what they are learning from the study

Original Design The original family is not about to be broken up by an angel who thinks himself to be a father. God’s role is not “up for grabs”. He will not offer His seat to anybody, angel or man. God the Father considers it a major violation for any being to attempt to be like Him or take on the role of the Heavenly Father. Preserving the original family is a top priority for God. His perfect model is a clear demonstration of perfection regarding spiritual, relational and physical relationships. God is pleased to announce that His Heaven is secure and free from all forms of rebellion. It is unclear to us why God allows “self-will” even in the Heavenlies. We can only assume that God creates man and woman with the same design of Heaven. God created the angels with a will to choose whom they would serve. Satan, named Lucifer at the time, chose to be an adversary to the Father of Heaven and paid a stiff penalty because of this act of declaring, “I will make myself to be like the Most High”. Nobody is to take on the role of Father except for God who is the Father. Authority is the key to accomplishing a significant work, good or bad. Satan knew that he was unable to accomplish his work unless he had the authority to do it.

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Satan knows that God’s order of conducting business is the only way. He understands that God is the supreme Father and Christ is the Son and the Son only says and does what the Father tells Him (John 8:28). The Word of God is God and Christ spoke only of His Father’s Words. Even Christ was not able to come up with His own Words. The Holy Spirit’s role was to bring to remembrance the Words of Jesus (John 14:26). Angels are designed by God to carry out the business that God the Father orders. Gabriel leads in the deliverance of God’s messages, Michael leads in spiritual warfare and Lucifer was in charge of the “harp” - worship (Isaiah 14:11). For whatever reason, Satan was not content with the role in which God placed him. He asserted himself by attempting to take on the Heavenly Father in the role of the father. His attempt at a “hostile takeover” placed him in eternal damnation. Just as Adam and Eve were removed from the garden, Satan was removed from Heaven (Isaiah 14:15). In Heaven, attempting to take the role of the Father is a serious and unforgivable offense. Thanks to Jesus, when we attempt to do this, we can be forgiven and made whole again. This is not the case for Satan. When a Heavenly host attempts to take the throne of the Father, the consequences are irreversible. A person can only imagine how hostile Satan was when he was cast from Heaven like a lightening bolt. I’m sure he hit the dirt with a revenge that shook the foundation of the world. His consequences for the attempt of take over put him in his place but he was not about to stop there. In his mindset of revenge, Satan fought back in the most obvious way, attempting to make man ashamed of his nakedness. For he surely knows that the very things that man is ashamed of becomes the very things that seduce that man – immorality is born.

Something to Think About The term authority comes from the word author. God is the author and perfecter of the universe. His Son is the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before the Heavenly Father endured the cross, depising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of His author, the Abba Father. When Satan, or anone else, attempts to claim ownership of the Bible, they are attempting to forge the name of the Living God. The person who does this has a problem with submitting to authrotiy. Satan does not like what is written in the book of Life about him. It spells “dooms-day”.

Your Turn In your view, why do you believe it was so important for Satan to steal the role of the Heavenly Father?

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Group Leader: Have each attendee share some of the ways they attempt to “steal” the role of the Father. By reading Job 1:6-12, we find Satan presenting himself before God among the “sons of God”, and it appears that the enemy needs permission to attack the children of God. Read this passage and state why you believe God would allow you to be tested morally.

_________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________. Look up the following verses and make a summary statement as to what each has to say about the morality of man and the role of the enemy: Scripture

Statement

Summary

Rev. 9:11

Hebrew name of Satan = Abaddon

Angel that tries to kill me morally

Rev. 12:10

An accuser of the brethren

1 Peter 5:8

Adversary

Isa. 14:13

Lucifer, son of the morning

Rev. 20:2

He is a devil = evil a person

Matt. 13:39

Enemy of the children of God

John 12:31

Prince of the world

John 8:44

Father of lies

Eph. 2:2

The power of the air

Matt. 4:3

A tempter of God’s children

2 Cor. 4:4

A god of this world

Matt. 13:19,38

Wicked a person

Trinity Of Brothers What way(s) does Satan attack you the most?

What lies do you tend to submit to?

How do you submit to them? Give one specific example.

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How can the group be praying for you?

Group Leader: When you are done with your discussion and prayer data gathering time, read the following prayer over the men:

Dear Father, I ask that You give these men the power and the strength to discern the ways of the enemy and what to do about his attacks. I believe in Your divine interventions and Your ability to use the enemy’s lies to tell each of us the Truth. I choose to appropriate Your ways within my life and the lives of these men. I stand with Your Son, Jesus Christ, in renouncing the tactics of the enemy. I thank You for giving us the help and guidance we need in walking the walk and not just talking the talk. I ask that You would use this lesson to reveal to us the Truth that will set us free from the lies of the evil one. These things I pray in the blessed name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. -- Amen.

NOTES:

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Introductions Each group member should consider offering the following information:  What do you consider the purpose of marriage?

Original Moral Marriage God took the design of Heaven and mirrored it hear on earth by setting up the order of Heaven through Adam and Eve. By reviewing diagram 4, you will see that God took His perfect model of the FIRST FAMILY and designed or formed the first earthly family. In Heaven you have God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit overseeing the “sons of God” – His angels. On earth, He, being the Us, oversees the family of man, Trinity, Adam and Eve overseeing their children – Cain and Able. Now we have Adam representing the role of Christ (1 Cor 11:3). Woman was formed to be a representative of the role of the Holy Spirit. By the way, all the adjectives used to describe woman just happen to be the same adjectives used to describe the Holy Spirit. A surprise? Not really, Adam and Eve were created in the image of the Us (Gen 1:26). God took His image from Heaven and established it here on earth to continue to fulfill His commitment to be a God of order. Satan’s act of rebellion did not throw God off from being worshiped and the center of the universe. You see, Adam and Eve became a significant part of God’s instrument to punish Satan. Yes, we are vessels of punishment for the enemy (Ezek 28:7-8). Now our part in this world has expanded; we are created to worship the Father and bring punishment to the evil one. I wish I could say it all stopped there, but it didn’t. Satan was not about to give up on taking the role of the Father. Not knowing the mind and will of the Father, he was about to fall into God’s plan again. Isn’t it interesting that God removed Satan from Heaven, placed him in the garden of Eden, in a tree, formed by God, knowing Satan was about to tempt Eve with the same sin he fell into? It’s also important to understand that, when God created Adam and Eve, he 19


Sexual Temptations Of Man gave them freedom and a command to eat from all the trees in the garden except the “tree of knowledge”. It sounds to me like God knew what Satan was about to do. What would have made more sense to me would have been to place Satan on a planet in another solar system. That wasn’t God’s plan. God was using all of creation to put Satan in his place once and for all. We were created for a specific mission that included all the key players that were in the garden that day. Since Satan has no ability to know the mind of the Father, he does what was predicted. He attempts to steal the role of the Father in Adam and Eve’s life. He knew the only way he could function in this role was to break the connection between God and His children. He also knew that he couldn’t go directly through Adam to get this job done. Therefore, he goes through the weakness of Adam, his helpmate. In order to break the connection between Adam and his Father, Satan needed to get Adam to listen to a voice other than God. Ultimately, Satan wanted Adam to listen to him, but knowing Adam’s design, he knew he had a better chance of accomplishing his mission if he went through a vessel Adam was commanded to be one with, Eve. The plan worked and Adam chose to harken to the voice of his woman instead of the voice of his Father. Now the enemy was able to move into position of father of lies (John 8:44). Adam and Eve, and all subsequent generations, would be subject to the father of lies and be bound to carry out the desires of the enemy (Romans 5:19). Because sin entered into Adam’s seed, every man or woman born of Adam would be born into the slavery of Satan. The enemy knew that man was created by the Father to carry out the desires of a father. By stealing the role of father, he was guaranteed to have children of disobedience and have the Father’s wrath would come upon man (Colossians 3:6). Satan is no longer alone in his rebellion.

Your Turn What immoral things did you learn from your father?

Group Leader: Lead a discussion on the impact fathers have on their sons.

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Why do you believe it is important for Satan to play the role of your father?

Please describe the role pride plays with being immoral: _________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________________________

Key Note: Satan may be the father of the sin nature (flesh) of your mortal body, but if you are a “born again� Christian, he can not father you as a daddy!

Look up Romans 5:19 and state what the Word says about being righteous.

Trinity Of Brothers What is the worst habit you learned from your father?

How has the habit affected you today?

How can the group be praying for you?

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Group Leader: When you are done with your discussion and prayer data gathering time, read the following prayer over the men: Dear Father, I ask that You would give us the power and the strength to understand the deeds and tricks of the enemy. I know that Satan attempts to play the role of a father in our lives and I choose this day to reject every way he attempts to deceive us. I claim Your Truth as our guide and we stand on all of Your promises as Your children. We believe in the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives. We accept the fact that You are they only Father, Leader and Rabbi that can be trusted. We embrace Christ as the One and only teacher that You have sent to train us up as Your children. These things we pray in the blessed name of our Lord and Savior –Jesus Christ. Amen.

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Introductions The enemy is effective at presenting a worldly view as normal, health, and true. James 4:4 tells us; You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. When men become friends with worldly ideas, they set themselves up as being an enemy of the Living God. God is immovable in this. The enemy knows this and works to have God’s children fall into this promise. Once they enemy has deceived man into thinking that immorality is normal, “this is the way men are,” he then can destroy the next generation. God always looks to future generations to restore His people back unto Himself. He knows and commissions His leaders before they are born. Satan being intimidated by this truth, he creates a battle plan – abortion. Through the years, the enemy has deceived the minds of man into considering it normal to abort children before they are born. God calls this murder. Man calls it compassionate results. Satan has successfully changed the mindset of the world to consider murder as an act of being responsible. Satan knows that God has His leaders ordained before they are conceived. Abortion becomes a “logical” solution for the enemy to use as a counter measure for God’s mission. The next “logical” societal plan from the enemy most likely will be the killing of innocent elderly and handicapped individuals. Wisdom is “experience proven under pressure.” Wisdom is most commonly seen in the elderly. Satan knows that wise people must be removed in order for him to control all of life. Now you have “Christian persecution,” removing the bold and vocal Believers or the “killing off” of “wise old men.” Once he makes this as normal as abortion, he will have the stage set for the Seven Year Reign as an anti-Christ. What does abortion have to do with immorality? It’s simple, if a man “buys” into the killing of children (abortion), he then can be immoral without the fear of having to be responsible for another life. A disgusting plan for sure, but effective! Man’s tendency is to think and reason on a level that is superficial and self-pleasing. Very few men take the time to connect the spiritual dots. Everything, and I mean everything, has a rhyme or reason. God is in all and owns all things (Galatians 4:1). Since God is in everything, Satan must “rearrange” everything in order to control the minds of men. In Satan’s mind, what was once right needs to be wrong and what was once wrong must be right. This is the simple battle plan of the enemy. Your only solution to battling this deceptive plan is to KNOW THE WORD. 23


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Take a few moments to check your level of commitment to God’s Word. Please answer each question honestly. Jesus said in Matthew 5 to let your “yes be yes and your no, be no”. Question Do you open the Word of God at least once a day? Have you ever completed a historical study on the Bible? Do you take time to memorize the Word of God? Upon any given week, are you involved in a “Bible Study” of some type? Do you go to the scriptures to find practical solutions to your challenges? Do you own your own Bible? Does it look warn? If married, do you read the Word over your wife sometime throughout the week? If you are a father, do you read the Word to your children at least twice a week? Do you pray over the scriptures you are reading for practical application? Is the Bible the sole standard for what you believe? Can you dialogue with friends about Bible passages without having your Bible with you? If you were asked to find the book of Ecclesiastes without looking in the Table of Contents, could you do it? Do you know how many books there are in the Bible? Could you explain the difference between the Gospels and other New Testament writings? Could you explain what a Concordance is and how to use it? Have you read the Bible in its entirety like a novel? Do you believe the Bible is the absolute authoritive Words of God? Do you believe the Bible is inerrant (containing no mistakes)?

Yes

How often do you open the Bible each day? ______ Each week? ______ Each Month?_________. What does Hosea 4:6 have to say about what happens to a man who does not know the Word of God?

Looking at this same passage, what happens if we “reject” His Knowledge? And how does He reject leaders (priests) because of it? _____________________________________________. In this verse, God says He will forget our children if we fathers _________________ the Word of God.

Group Leader: Have your attendees share their pattern in reading/studying the Word of God.

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Look up Joshua 1:8 and respond to the following questions: 1. What does God want men to do with the Word each day?

2.

What was the “so that …” in this verse?

3.

According to this passage, how are we men to be guaranteed to be prosperous?

1.

What does Joshua say about how we can have success?

Look Jeremiah 1:1-6 and write in your own words why abortion would be so wrong:

Group Leader: Have a few men share their answer to the Jeremiah passage.

NOTES:

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Trinity Of Brothers What is the connection between abortion and immorality?

If abortion is a part of your past, please share your experience?

How can the group be praying for you?

Group Leader: When you are done with your discussion and prayer data gathering time, read the following to the men: Now the word of the LORD came to me saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, And before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations." Then I said, "Alas, Lord GOD! Behold, I do not know how to speak, Because I am a youth." But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am a youth,' Because everywhere I send you, you shall go, And all that I command you, you shall speak. "Do not be afraid of them, For I am with you to deliver you," declares the LORD. Then the LORD stretched out His hand and touched my mouth, and the LORD said to me, "Behold, I have put My words in your mouth. Jeremiah 1:5-9

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Introductions The enemy takes offense to God’s order of marriage – for he knows it clearly communicates the order of the Trinity. He truly wants God to turn the people over to their unnatural ways. Knowing God and honoring Him as God seems to be important to Him. The enemy understands that in order for the people to become futile in their speculations, their foolish hearts must be darkened. Satan seems to have a keen sense of those who profess to be wise with their own understanding. He knows the result – becoming fools and exchanging God’s order for that of the un-natural, Satan’s. Once this happens, the enemy knows God will most likely turn them over to the lusts of their hearts. This will give the enemy a certain guarantee that this people will exchanged the truth for a lie. That means the “father of lies” becomes a temporary surrogate father. Once this occurs, this people will adopt unnatural beliefs like same sex marriages. By looking at the diagram “Doctrines of the trinity Fades in Society,” you can see that the children of the next generation are left to determine their own beliefs of the Trinity.

The Great Exchange 27


Sexual Temptations Of Man For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures. Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them. For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen. For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural [lesbianism], and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another [homosexuality], men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error. And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper, being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; {they are} gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful; and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them. Romans 1:21-32

One of the more significant ways the enemy changes the way we view God’s natural functions of men& women is through pornography. Man’s mark has always been the number six. In light of this, we find six degenerate phases of porn. Please review the list:

Six Phases of Porn PAHSE ONE: “Soft” Porn – Naked woman • Disrobing what God has covered • Promotes adultery • Masturbation – can be a form of selfishness PHASE TWO: “Moderate” Porn – Woman with woman • Promotes lesbianism & adultery • Masturbation mixed with lesbianism PHASE THREE: “Hardcore” Porn – Man with woman • Promotes homosexuality – man watching man with woman • Encourages homosexuality, lesbianism, & adultery PHASE FOUR: Homosexual Porn – Men with men • Activates Romans chapter one • Promotes same sex marriages • Confuses the next generation PHASE FIVE: “Bondage” Porn – Violent Sex • Promotes rape • Removes the intimacy of sexual relations 28


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PHASE SIX: “Beastology” Porn – Men/women with animals • Promotes worship of the beast – Rom. 1:21-25 • Satan [the beast] successfully transfers glory from God to the beast of the field – marriage institution destroyed! For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.

In order to overcome the deception of the enemy, we need to understand the basic design of the enemy.

Your Turn What immoral things bother you about other men?

Group Leader: Lead a discussion regarding the questions above.

Look up Ezekiel 28:12-17 and then fill in the blanks: 1. 2. 3. 4.

He was full of ______________ and _______________. He was given a place on God’s Holy ________________. He was created a ___________ and ___________ being. Pride in his heart was the beginning of his ___________.

Because of point #4, th3e scriptures reveal that Satan’s rebellion and fall was because of two grave violations. Look up Isaiah 14:12-15 and then fill in the blanks: 1. Lucifer (his pre-fall name) sought to __________________________. 2. In his vanity, he declared, “I will be _____________ God. Because of man’s fall, man began to function like the “father of lies.” This enemy wants men & woman to live according to the image of the b east. The six following statements reveal his plan.

Men Functioning In the Image of Satan: 1. He wants men to be filled up with their own wisdom and beauty. 2. He wants men to be an “island” in and of themselves. 29


Sexual Temptations Of Man 3. 4. 5. 6.

He wants men to be “holy” and “right” in their own eyes. He wants pride to fill the man’s heart – for this is the beginning of his fall. He wants men to “disrobe” what God covers. He wants man to be an adversary unto God.

Names are God’s design of revealing identity. When God takes the time to name someone, or something – we are given the privilege to look into God’s mind. I know that 13 is an unlucky number but it is quite appropriate for Satan. We can learn a great deal about the enemy through the names God has placed upon him. The name of an individual or being typically reveals character, or lack of it. When you do the assignment listed below, you will discover the mission and purpose of the enemy and what exactly God things of this foe.

Look up the following scriptures to discover the enemy’s primary names. Scriptures Zechariah 3:1 Revelation 12:10 Isaiah 14:12 Revelation 12:7 1 Peter 5:8 John 8:44 Revelation 20:10 John 12:31 Ephesians 2:2 Revelation 9:11 Matthew 4:3 Matthew 13:38 2 Corinthians 4:4 Truth.

Name

By reviewing the names of the enemy we can discover his primary plan of attack. For example: because he is an adversary, he is an accuser of God’s children. He wants to come before the Father accusing us of being more like the “father of lies” instead of the “Father of Truth.” Since the enemy presents himself as an angel of light, we as God’s children are often deceived into thinking his works or revelations are God’s. What a liar! To avoid this deception, a man must adequately know the Word of

Trinity Of Brothers How has the enemy affected your life, wife and/or children?

What level(s) of pornography have you tampered with?

How can the group be praying for you?

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Group Leader: When you are done with your discussion and prayer data gathering time, pray this prayer over the men:

Dear Heavenly Father, these men have openly confessed sins that the enemy has used to conform them into his image. We renounce all these lies in the blessed name of Jesus Christ. We claim Your truth as the only way. We stand as men, arm in arm, battling the enemy through the weapons of warfare that you gave us through Christ Jesus. We embrace the full truth of the gospel in our daily lives. We thank you for the deliverance You provide for us through confession and healing through the blood of Your Son. We pray only in the blessed name of our Husband and Savior Jesus Christ – Amen!

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Introductions God wants us to be strong only in His resources and in the strength in His power! This is why God offers the Full Armor of God. Remembering when David tried to put on the full armor of man, King Saul’s armor. What happened? You guessed it; it was too heavy and cumbersome. The Armor of God is light and easy to bear. Just as David took off mans armor, so must we! David went into battle the giant, Goliath, only with the strength and might of the Lord. All self effort, defense and techniques of man are classified as “armor of men.” These “manly” techniques are a waste of time and energy. In fact, God will come against them and cause you and me to lean only of the might of the Father. This can only happen through a process that we call; coming to the end of yourself. It is a painful process but needed. One of the mistakes that man makes is that of fighting “flesh and blood.” As a counselor, I have learned over the past 30 years, that most men and women spend their time fighting each other instead of the real and true source of conflict. When man realizes that all conflicts are in the spiritual realm, he becomes a true warrior of the Lord. In reality, we fight authorities and powers of darkness, against spiritual forces in the heavenly places. If we don’t view the war through the eyes of God, we end up spending our time judging and “problem resolving” what isn’t real. I can guarantee you – your problems will return like a dog to its vomit. Can you imagine how peaceful and graceful we would be in all of our relationships if we embraced just this one principle? Living in such a way that any and all conflicts are not “flesh and blood” but “powers of darkness” using our family, friends and others to trip us up. Wow!

Your Turn Describe the way you tend to “problem resolve” in a “heated” battle:

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Group Leader: Lead a discussion regarding the questions above.

Look up the following verses and answer the following questions:

Ephesians 6:11-12: What are we to stand for?

From this passage, what tools are we given to accomplish this?

What type of powers do we actually fight?

Luke 11:14-18: What have we been given authority over?

Revelation 2:13: What is Satan’s throne?

Matthew 12:26: What specifically does Satan rule?

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2 Corinthians 11:14-15: What does Satan masquerade himself as?

Jude 9: What does this passage reveal about the enemy’s limited power?

1 John 5:19: Who does Satan hold in bondage?

Job 1:6-12: What is Satan required to do in order to attack?

Group Leader: Pick out a couple of the above scripture assignments and create a discussion.

Knowing the enemy’s strategy kills it. Any time we discover a strategy that comes against us, we are then able to form a defensive strategy to combat it. Once the defensive plan is in place we can move forward with an offensive strategy. The enemy is the author of sin. He causes sickness and sufferings of all kinds. He has limited powers of death, both in relationships and within the human body. He is quick to provide traps through his deceitful ways. He want s us to think that his goals of destruction are “righteous” and of God. Once man thinks Satan’s plans are pleasurable and beneficial to man – we bite the bate and fall. Our torment begins! Look up the following verses, and then answer the questions:

Genesis 3:1-6: Who is the author of sin?

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Hebrews 2:14: What does this passage say about Satan?

1 Timothy 3:7: What does Satan provide for men?

John 13:2: What does the enemy inject into the heart of men?

Mark 4:15: What does the enemy do with God’s Holy Word?

1 Thessalonians 2:18: What does Satan attempt to do with God’s mission?

The enemy does not want to focus on the fact that his destiny is doom. He is under an unending curse by being permanently removed from Heaven and will be bound to the bottomless pit forever. Due to this reality, he really wants company down there – misery truly does love company! What he doesn’t realize is, even though he will gain many followers, he will be kept from being able to be with them. True hell is eternal separation – being completely alone. There is no other definition of hell. This will be his eternal punishment for offending the Bride of Christ. Look up the following verses, and then answer the questions:

Isaiah 14:15: What is the destiny of Satan?

Revelation 12:7-10: What actions are revealed in the passage?

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Revelation 20:1-3; 10: What is said here about the enemy’s eternal home?

The enemy has nothing to look forward to. This is probably why he is “having his fun” now. His days of limited power are numbered and he knows it. This defeatist attitude drives him daily to deceive men into joining him. Even though he knows he has lost the war, he finds great pleasure in seeing men dishonor the Living God. Thank God for the Victory of the Cross! We as gentlemen are victors now and forever.

Trinity Of Brothers Share with the group your view of Satan’s power before you did this study?

Are you living a victor’s life? If not, in your confession, why not?

How can the group be praying for you?

Group Leader: When you are done with your discussion and prayer data gathering time, pray this prayer over the men:

Dear Father, we are victors in Christ Jesus. We as men acknowledge that fact the enemy is weak and powerless when it comes to Your Power and Strength. We confess that we have chosen to submit to the enemy’s power from time to time. We now choose to join You in Your Power and Strength as we battle to powers of darkness. Cause us not to be afraid of darkness but bring the light and life of our Husband into these dark places. Cause us not to fight flesh and blood but look at life through the reality of Your Heaven. We thank you and praise You for Your strength and purpose in our lives. It is in the name of our Husband Jesus Christ we pray – Amen!

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Introductions Can you imagine the confidence a warrior would have knowing he has won the battle before he enters the battlefield? This would be a warriors dream. Well, my dear friends, this is what God gave us by sending His Son to pay the cost of the battle. He not only became the victor on the Cross, but He made all of His Bridal members, Christians, victors on that day as well. Most likely, the reason why the enemy fights with such a determination, even though he knows he has already lost the battle, is; “there is power in numbers.” He is more interested in the number of men and women that will march with him right into the bottomless pit. I think he thinks that this will somehow hurt God. Well, the fact is, it does! The difference is - it doesn’t change the Lords sovereign plan. Freedom of belief is something mankind has always struggled with. Why God allows man to “choose whom you will serve: is a great mystery. We simply have to accept it. But this we do know, Satan was defeated at the Cross and all of mankind has the prerogative to accept Christ or reject Him.

Your Turn Describe your view of a sovereign God:

Group Leader: Lead a discussion regarding the challenge above.

Look up each passage and answer the questions:

1 John 3:8: What did the power of the Cross accomplish? 37


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Ephesians 1:19-23: What does the Believer have inside of them and what does it accomplish?

Acts 26:18: What specifically is the Believer set free from?

James 4:7: What are we to do before “resisting the devil?�

Ephesians 4:27: What are we asked NOT to give the enemy?

Acts 5:11: What actions are we warned of?

Ephesians 4:17-32: How are we asked to HONOR God?

1 Timothy 3:6-7: What is our testimony to be like?

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2 Timothy 2:23-26: We are asked to use a specific weapon in our daily battles, what is it?

When we total all the truths contained in the Word, we have hope to stand firm in times of temptations. Without understanding the Truth – we cannot be set free. Knowing and embracing the Truth is what gives us freedom from the “father of lies.” For how can we stand against a lie if the Truth stays on the pages of a Book? Jesus is the Truth, we must first believe in Him, know His Life and walk in Him. This is our greatest weapon.

Trinity Of Brothers Share with your triad your pattern of spending time in the Word?

What things get in the way of you NOT reading the Word?

How can the group be praying for you?

Group Leader: When you are done with your discussion and prayer data gathering time, pray this prayer over the men:

Dear Father, we ask of you today for a fresh power of deliverance. We know that Your Truth is the only way to freedom and that by studying it we can come to know You better. Therefore, we pray that You will empower us to be consistent in being in Your written Word. We renounce the stronghold of rebelling against the Word of Truth. Guard our hearts of God that we might rest in Your everlasting love. Cause us to be men of the Word of Truth from this day forward. We thank you and praise You for Your strength and purpose in our lives. It is in the name of our Husband Jesus Christ we pray – Amen!

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Introductions It is an undeniable fact that men are attracted to beauty. For we need to learn to appreciate natural beauty without lust. This not only applies to the attraction to women but to all things; cars, houses toys etc. When a man sees an “attractive” woman, we should thank God for His everlasting creation – even though this is an insult to the “ugly” or “less attractive” women in the world! The image of the “perfect woman” is formed by the enemy. God considers all women to be perfectly created. Satan has develop a “measurement” of “pretty” under the guidelines of the flesh – legs, breast size, hair, skin color etc. This is why women are so insulted by pornography. Women know, without question, that it is a “type cast” of woman that is used to seduce men. Most women do not “fit” into this “type” of female categorizing. Women of the world have not only tolerated this lie but they strive to “conform” to this image by changing their created beauty through surgeries, hair color, buffeting their bodie3s and acting like the “type” of seductive women that men are drawn to. For those men who are tempted by lust of this “type” of graven image of woman, they tend to be plagued with “feeling guilty.” Satan needs man’s guilt in order to paralyze him. Satan uses this feeling of being paralyzed to keep men trapped in lusting as a life-style. Christ came to take all guilt and placed in on the Cross. Christ wants to turn our passion into compassion, training men to “stand in the gap” for all women. Satan wants us to disrobe what God covers – that means women gentlemen. God’s desires for all of us men to cover women with a covering of true masculinity and integrity. This is what attracts women to men – men who guard their hearts with their eyes. Passion with purity breeds Holy power and God’s power is what transforms and protects. If a man learns the art of passion and purity – he will become a vessel of ministry that will protect women, children, community and nation. Practically speaking, men need to “nip it in the bud.” They can do this by having every thought yielded and help captive by the Holy Spirit.

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Something to Think About If women are a symbol of the purity of the Holy Spirit and God has a”thing” about NOT insulting the Holy Spirit, wouldn’t it be wise of us to guard women as God does the Spirit?

Your Turn Describe the “type” of woman that stimulates you to lust:

Group Leader: Have each of your group members share their answers. Then pray as a group against such lust.

Look up 2 Corinthians 10:5 and rewrite the verse by placing your name in its appropriate place.

James 1:14-15 tells us something significant about sin. What is it?

Men, married or not, need to avoid being alone with women. No man is beyond being tempted and most men are within reach of “falling.” Avoid tempting situations, like traveling alone, business lunches with women, comforting hurting women and likeminded situations. Many of men have fallen through the “compassionate touch” – letting women know you care. Leave that job up to their women friends. One of the deepest pits is that of men having “female friends.” Having ladies that are friends is one thing but functioning with a woman as a man would with a male close friend is another. 41


Sexual Temptations Of Man Avoid this “pit.” If a man cannot manage his friendships with women like a sister – run! A man thinking he is strong enough to handle intimate female relationships outside of marriage is bordering on a fall. Plus – ask your wife if she wants you to have “friendships” with other females. We both know the answer! I am going to give you SIX techniques that will protect you in your purity. Please consider the following ideas as needing to be empowered by the Holy Spirit. Remember, any idea that is not empowered by the Spirit will end up in completer failure.

TECHNIQUE # ONE: One of the ideal techniques is; when a man is in the presence of a woman, talk about your wife. If single, talk about Christ like He is your greatest love. Women tend to be “turned off”: sexually when a man exalts his wife or Christ. Women who are not need to be strongly avoided. This could mean they are on a mission to seduce you. With women who purpose to “get a man,” your “techniques” will only be a challenge to them. Run my dear friend – run like the wind! Although I want to remind you of a masculine fact, most men love being chased.

TECHNIQUE # TWO: Another practical & tactical action that could help is; make a list of all the persons, places and things that provoke lust and temptation. I have started this list but you need to complete it: ACTION Drinking with the boys Sexual jokes Sexually related e-mails

DEFENSE Avoid group drinking with males Don’t laugh or participate First send an e-mail to that friend asking them not to forward sexually related e-mails – then delete it immediately!

TECHNIQUE # TTHREE:

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Sexual Temptations Of Man If married, tell your wife about your struggles. If single, tell a buddy or your pastor. For example, I shared with my wife years ago that I struggle with female joggers who wear short shorts. Since that day, she watches my eyes when passing a jogger. It is quite effective!

TECHNIQUE # FOUR: If you struggle with temptation as a life-style, consider getting counseling/discipleship. Pick a male mentor only! Choose a mentor that is conservative Biblically and maintains a certain level of moral success. All men lust and many men have a marked success in avoiding a fall. You may need to interview them. If they are “put off” by such an interview – avoid them as an option.

TECHNIQUE # FIVE: Be intentional about attending a small group for men. Avoid “sexual addictions” small groups! These groups tend to arouse thoughts and further the struggle throughout the following week. Many churches are getting away from groups that focus on “sexually related problems” due to this reality. If is OK to attend a group that equips men in sexually related teachings but the “hi, my name is John Doe and I am a sexual addict” type of groups should be avoided. Consider joining a men’s small group that simply focuses on the Word of God.

TECHNIQUE # SIX: Consider taking yourself through the Men & Warfare – The 30-Day Study Guide. This study trains men in learning how to pray “doctrinal prayers,” prayers based on scriptures. This material can be ordered at www.menmapping.org . There are other scripturally based materials on the market that can help you establish a new pattern of purity. Remember, avoid materials that cause you to focus on the “sex” part of your “problem.” There are many other techniques that are helpful and valuable. Just make sure that they are Biblically based and doctrinally sound. It is always a great idea to have your pastor/mentor check out materials and ideas that could assist you in becoming free. Enjoy the beauty that surrounds you but stand firm against the enemy when he uses God’s beauty to tempt you.

Trinity Of Brothers Share with your triad your ACTIONS vs. DEFENSE lists?

How can the group be praying for you?

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Group Leader: When you are done with your discussion and prayer data gathering time, pray this prayer over the men:

Dear Father, we as men are blessed by your creation. We also know that the enemy tempts us with what You created as perfect and pure. We confess to You that it is sin to lust after Your creation. We pray that You would protect our minds. Cause us to pray for the women that we tend to lust after. Give us the knowledge and reminders that we are called by You to protect women with our eyes and hearts. Teach us in all Your ways. Turn us into men of Holiness. We love you and ask that our love would be turned by to our homes and our Husband Jesus Christ. It is in the name of our Husband Jesus Christ we pray – Amen!

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Introductions Masturbation is a topic most men avoid talking about. It is said that 92% of all men struggle with masturbation – married or single, the percentages don’t change that much. Masturbation is simply defined, that of pleasing one-self. God gave sexual expression first, for procreation and second, for pleasure. The question is; “pleasure for whom?” Sexual expression is for the pleaser of another. If masturbation is used within the context of marriage, and using it as foreplay, it is, in my humble opinion, appropriate and pure. If masturbation is used to please self, we need to evaluate the appropriateness of it. As a man, I’m not afraid to admit that masturbation is self promoting. If or when I fall, I need to recognize that I am attempting to fill a want or need buried within my soul. Most men, if not all men, masturbate to mange a felling of loneliness. Once I am able to acknowledge this, I then can look to have this overwhelming feeling of loneliness fulfilled in a Christ-like fashion. With this understanding, I now have several choices:

1. If married, share my needs, hurts and feelings with my wife. 2. If single, share my struggles of loneliness with a close friend or pastor. 3. Married or single, draw closer to Christ through reading the Word, praying frequently and connecting with other men within the church. Most men struggle with sharing their deepest feelings with their wives or fiends. Since this factor is real and statistically proven, they remain alone – thus, masturbation becomes a way of relief in order to produce short moments of surrogate intimacy. Masturbation now becomes a habitual practice.

The Biology of Reality The male body is created to be filled with “passions of procreation.” We have a biological time clock moving and driving us throughout the day to be “fruitful and multiply the earth.” There is nothing we can do about this reality. God will not change the way we are made just because some man has a propensity to lust. God does expect us to turn our passions into compassion. He wants us to use our “vigor” to give unto others and to save our sexual passions for our wives, if not married, or devotion to Christ. Many men are under the illusion that they are going to “explode” if they do not “release” themselves on a regular basis. I have been in the professional people helping field for 30 years and I have never had a case yet of a man exploding. Men do have a “build up” of sorts but if they wait it out, the body will absorb the fluids back into the body. God has designed the male body to 45


Sexual Temptations Of Man actually protect itself from immorality; it’s just that most men choose not to “wait it out.” The absorption process takes about 24 hours. The desire to masturbate typically goes away within 30 to 40 minutes. For the single male, I will default to the following article by Sam Fraser:

Singleness and Masturbation by Sam Fraser We are familiar enough with the Scriptural mandates about sexual purity so I will say no more. During our season of singleness, masturbation is a very real and present temptation. As a Christian single man I struggled with it in the 70’s and 80’s failing more than I succeeded until I was married. Getting married however, did not cure me. Now having been divorced for several years, I am once again acquainted with the battle anew with masturbation as a single again. Sex studies have concluded that for most men our sex drive, hormonally speaking, peaks at about age 15-20 or so. Since that is true as we move towards 25, 35, 45 and beyond, even though our sex drive begins to wane I didn’t notice that my frequency of acting out did not. So what gives? The activity of masturbation is no longer exclusively about the amount of testosterone flowing through our veins. Rather it is an expression of another ’drive’ taking place. Of the many forces that could keep this battle raging, I want to address only one, loneliness. Acting out in this way actually may be a substitute for not having a special relationship. For many singles, from 25 on, it can become part of a lifestyle to manage loneliness. This lesson took me from being an unmarried single into my 30’s, married into my 40’s, to divorced and single again to figure out. As a single person I was never able to overcome this temptation alone, by myself, in isolation. I could white knuckle it for periods of time but never conquer it. It was only after I was single again that I learned how much I needed to be connected to others. Having a couple of dear friends that I can share my needs, hurts and deepest feelings are like air and food, can’t live without it! Until I had those kinds of people around me I was never able to have very much success in this important spiritual area of my life. I would masturbate the feelings of loneliness because I wasn’t connected. For a long time I did not know how to admit this need. With my boyhood training about being independent, self-reliant, and standing tall, coupled with "big boys don’t cry" attitudes that pretty much shut me down emotionally throughout my formative years and well into adulthood. I was programmed to grow up as a man to stand alone. To ask for help went against the very grain of my upbringing. For some men, they have been able to battle sexual temptation and succeed on their own. However, for me and many others like me I am unable to do it without help. As a single man this becomes even more pronounced. Not having the type of friendships, or having the personal communication skills to express my loneliness openly and honestly had been my downfall. Since I couldn’t be real with my feelings, the development of a secret life became the place where I felt and acted in a manner that I didn’t feel was ok in my "real 46


Sexual Temptations Of Man life". Masturbation became the intimacy I craved in lieu of having a genuine relationship. Masturbation became the outlet I had substituted for healthy expressions of my maleness. It became sort of the social life that I did not have in real life. It was a way to cope with loneliness. It became the way to connect with myself since I was not connecting with others.

Your Turn Write our your belief or view of male masturbation:

Group Leader: Have several volunteers share their answers with the group. Consider a discussion regarding answers that seem to be worth challenging.

Topic Out of Selfishness Bitter Selfishness Worldly Ideas Selfish equals Demonic Lovers of Pleasure Find Pleasure in Reveling

Scripture Philippians 1:17 James 3:4 James 4:1-6 James 3:16 2 Timothy 3:4 2 Peter 2:13

Trinity Of Brothers Share with your triad your struggles with masturbation?

How can the group be praying for you?

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Group Leader: When you are done with your discussion and prayer data gathering time, pray this prayer over the men:

Dear Father, we thank You for forgiving us for our acts of selfishness. We choose to see and believe that our sexual expressions need to be within the context of Your Divine will. Please reveal to us Your thoughts and feelings regarding this controversial topic. Open our minds to the pure and unadulterated mind of Christ. We know we have the mind of Christ living inside us, therefore, we ask You Jesus to put Your mind in us regarding Your view on our morality. We love you our Savior and King. We pray that as we depart today, that we would leave with a refreshed and renewed mind. It is in the name of our Husband Jesus Christ we pray – Amen! NOTES:

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Introductions The homework for Week Eleven is somewhat of a challenge. I strongly suggest that you proclaim the Daily Affirmation Prayer aloud for the next 30 days and return to this prayer as often as needed. It will build a spiritual foundation in your soul. It will help you maintain the ground you have taken back from the enemy; as well, remind you of the victory you have in Christ Jesus. Study the scriptures listed at the end of the affirmation prayer. Choose several each day until you complete the list. THE DAILY AFFIRMATION OF FAITH Today I deliberately choose to submit myself fully to God as He has made Himself known to me through the Holy Scripture, which I honestly accept as the only inspired, infallible, authoritative standard for all life and practice. In this day, I will not judge God, His work, others or myself. 1. I recognize by faith that the true God is worthy of all honor, praise, and worship as the Creator, Sustainer, and End of all things. He is the Alpha and the Omega. I confess that God, as my Creator, made me for Himself. In this day, I therefore choose to live for Him. 2. I recognize by faith that God loved me and chose me in Jesus Christ before time began. 3. I recognize by faith that God has proven His love to me in sending His Son to die in my place, in whom every provision has already been made for my past, present, and future needs through His representative work, and that I have been quickened, raised, seated with Jesus in the heavenly places, and anointed with the Holy Spirit. 4. I recognize by faith that God has accepted me since I have received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior; that He has forgiven me; that He has adopted me into His family, assuming every responsibility for me; that He has given me eternal life; that He has applied the perfect righteousness of Christ to me so that I am now justified; that He has made me complete in Christ; and that He offers Himself to me as my daily sufficiency through prayer and the decisions of faith. 5. I recognize by faith that the Holy Spirit has baptized me into the Body of Christ; sealed me; anointed me for life and service; seeks to lead me into a deeper walk with Jesus; and to fill my life with Him. 6. I recognize by faith that only God can deal with sin and only God can produce holiness of life. I confess that in my Salvation my part was only to receive Him and that He dealt with my sin and saved me. Now I confess that in order to live a Holy life, I can only surrender to His will and receive Him as my sanctification; trusting Him to do whatever may be necessary in my life, without and within, so I may be enabled to live today in purity, freedom, rest and power for His glory. 7. For this day, I make the decision of faith to surrender wholly to the authority of God as He has revealed Himself in the? Scripture – to obey Him. I confess my sin, face the sinful 49


Sexual Temptations Of Man reality of my old nature, that is dead, and deliberately choose to walk in the light, in step with Christ, throughout the hours of this day. 8. For this day, I make the decision of faith to surrender wholly to the authority of God as revealed in the Scripture – to believe Him. I accept only His Word as final authority. I now believe that since I have confessed my sin He has already forgiven and cleansed me. I accept at full value His Word of promise to be my sufficiency and rest, and I will conduct myself accordingly. 9. For this day, I make the decision of faith to recognize that God has made very provision so that I may fulfill His will and calling in my Scripture Completed life. Therefore, I will not make any excuse Isaiah 43:1, 7, 21 for my sin and failure. Revelation 4:11 10. For this day, I make the decision of faith Ephesians 1:1-7 deliberately to receive from God that Romans 5:6-11 provision which He has made for me. I Romans 8:28-39 renounce all self-effort to live the Christian 1 Corinthians 1:30 life and to perform God’s service; I renounce Colossians 1:27 all sinful praying which asks God to change Galatians 2:20 circumstances and people so that I may be Matthew 21:22 more spiritual; I renounce all drawing back Romans 6:1-19 from the work of the Holy Spirit within and Hebrews 4:1-3, 11 the call of God without; and renounce all Ephesians 1:13-14 non-biblical motives, goals, and activities Acts 1:8 which serve my sinful pride. I receive Jesus John 7:37-39 as my sanctification, deliverance, my John 1:12 anointing, and my promise for daily living.

Trinity Of Brothers Share with your triad your view of “Dressing Spiritually” How can the group be praying for you?

Group Leader: When you are done with your discussion and prayer data gathering time, pray through the Daily Affirmation Prayer a loud, as a group.

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Introductions Let’s face it; men are unable to be strong without being empowered by Christ. Mankind is weak and feeble. I know we act strong and dependable, but the reality is we are weak and easily tempted and most men “crumble” under pressure. Men who depend on Christ are men of conviction. Being a man of conviction starts with his beliefs – believing in what God says to be True. Strength comes through our joy in the Lord. Without joy – we become weak and lonely. If a man finds his refuge in Christ, he finds a good thing. Therefore a man’s beliefs are formed in him through studying the Word of God. When the mind of a man is established through the mind of Christ, through the Spirit and written Word, he can stand strong. We need men who are sturdy and able to stand for what they believe. This way he will be immovable in all of his ways. Once a man knows what he believes – he then is able to stand without second guessing his actions. Standing is what forms a leader. Leaders are accustomed to standing for what they believe. Followers are attracted to leaders who do not waver in their position. Standing leaders create standing followers. Now we have a dynamic team of life-changers. When followers see that their leaders are strong in belief, conviction, and purpose, they can be relatively sure that their leader will be willing to suffer for them. Once this happens, we have the perfe4ct model of Christ’s servant leadership.

Your Turn Describe yourself as a leader:

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Group Leader: Have several volunteers share their answers with the group.

Look up Ephesians 6:12 and write this verse in your own words:

Any man, who desires to become a great leader, must first become a servant. This is the model that Jesus demonstrated for men. He didn’t come to be served, He came to serve and give His live as a ransom for all mankind. Most men today are driven to manipulate women to serve them, primarily sexually. Although, in most cases, with day-to-day activities. Women have labeled our men as being selfish, egocentered and self-serving. I wish I could say that our women are wrong on this but they are not. Most men have no clue what servant manhood is all about. How are we to know what “servant manhood” looks like? We can discover the answer to this question by observing how Jesus responds to His Father. The more a man studies the role Jesus had and has with His Father, the more we will understand servant manhood. Jesus said that He can do nothing of Himself, but only what He is able to see His Father do, for what the Father does, the Son does. Since the Heavenly Father loves His Son, He reveals all things that the Father does to His Son. As you can tell, the key here is following the Father. It always comes back to the Father. Men need to concentrate on the Heavenly Father, their earthly father and spiritual father. By watching and doing what they do, men can demonstrate servant manhood. If a man does not have a “healthy” earthly father or spiritual father, he is required to learn directly from the Heavenly Father. He promises to be a Father to the fatherless. Look up John 14:10 and write down in your own words what Jesus is saying here about His actions:

Now review John 20:17 and discover what is being said about the Father. Re-write the verse and replace the word “your” with your name:

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Men tend to be power hungry and this is what stops them from being able to be servant leaders. Jesus was not about revealing His power. True meekness knows that you have the power to do mighty things but don’t have the need to prove it. Patriarchy has been given a bad name because to the pride and ego of men. True patriarchs don’t need to display their authoritive power; they demonstrate it through acts of service. When men abuse their roles as leaders, the followers will ultimately choose a new leader to follow. People, men and women alike, intuitively desire to follow servant type leaders. Jesus knew this and this is why He came in the form of a bond servant. Look up Matthew 20:25-28 and list out the characteristics of a Jesus style of leadership. Write a brief explanation of what the scriptures say about each of these words: Gentiles: Authority: Great: Servant: Son of Man:

Give: Ransom: First: Slave: Serve:

The world’s idea of leadership is to exercise authority over another by revealing your immovable position of power. The Bible calls this “lording it over” another. True leadership is not about a battle over the “wills”. It is about serving another for the purpose of moving that follower in the direction you have laid out before them. Serving moves hearts and behavior always follows the heart. Read Philippians 2:7-9 and write out the guidelines that are provided for men to lead effectively:

A man does not need to give up his position of authority or his power in order to be a servant leader. The man does need to demonstrate obedience to his leaders by serving them. This is their training ground for being a leader. A man, who demonstrates their position and power by servant influence, will discover the power of servant leadership.

Trinity Of Brothers Share with your triad your leadership style and its weaknesses:

How can the group be praying for you?

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Group Leader: When you are done with your discussion and prayer data gathering time, pray through the Daily Affirmation Prayer a loud, as a group one last time.

NOTES:

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APPENDIX

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Understanding Structure Structure can and will facilitate or impede the ministry efforts of your small group. Small group leaders often fail to integrate their ideas and teachings with an organizational structure that can assist their ministries in accomplishing their goals and objectives. A Word of Caution: A group leader needs to ask, does the structure serve the people or does the small group leader force the people to serve their structure? The following guidelines are designed to provide the small group leader with basic small group structure and information that can assist them in effectively leading their group. This Introduction section will give you such suggestions.

UNDERSTANDING OUR OBJECTIVES As men, we need to understand and know the purpose of the activities we engage in. This purpose determines our effectiveness. The success of a chosen task depends on four components: † † † †

Knowing the target, Understanding our weaknesses in reaching the objective (target), Panning creative solutions and steps to meet the objective and Implementing the steps to “hit” the target.

This guide will assist us in accomplishing these four components of the Men Mapping Sexual Temptations small groups.

Our Target Our target is to reach the hearts of the men in your sphere of influence, helping men understand who they are in Christ, who they are as a man and who they are as an ordained leader of God. Secondly, this small group is to assist men in understanding the Biblical guidelines to morality and solutions to those who are trapped by immorality.

Men & Their Weaknesses Most men in our culture are independent, fragmented, indulgent and devoid of spiritual purpose. Our challenge will be to “convince” them that they need a personal relationship with Christ, with other men and with the Church body as a whole. Most men are intimidated by being a part of a small group. Small groups can intimidate anyone but in particular, they intimidate men. One of the greatest lies we face as men believes we can “fix” our own problems. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Small groups provide environments that help men connect with Christ, other men and other significant people in their lives.

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Our Mission: Changing Our Communities One Leader at a Time The overall mission of the Men Mapping Transformation Small Groups is to show men how to embrace their identity in Christ, their identity as masculine men, and to empower them as leaders of God. This will be accomplished in groups of 6 – 12 men. Another key to an effective men’s group is the Trinity of Brothers concept. The men in the group are separated into triads that meet on a weekly basis to discuss the content covered in the small group meeting. This “one-on-one” approach is not only effective but necessary. Most men don’t feel comfortable “downloading” in a small group setting. The Trinity of Brothers will help men who struggle with the fear of intimacy. Now, let’s take a look at the core values needed for transformation of lives through a small group format.

Seven Core Values of Transformation Small Groups Compassion – each transformation group is to radiate the attitude of compassion to all those who are interested “on-lookers.” People are drawn to Jesus because of His compassion. The Christ-like goal for each attendee needs to be communicating the love of God to all those who come in contact with the group member. No matter how “detached” and stubborn a man might be, he cannot resist someone loving and caring for him. God has placed this basic need in all of mankind, the need to be loved and to love another. A heart of compassion cannot be manifested by one’s own strength. Jesus placed His heart in each man through the indwelling life of the Holy Spirit. Each man needs to be taught how to release the Spirit within him to reveal the compassion of the heavenly Father. Care – is the action of compassion. Caring is demonstrated through love, acceptance and forgiveness (Colossians 3:12). A selfish person cannot truly care for another without wanting something in return. This is why it takes the act of Christ caring through them. The small group is to aid and assist each man in embracing the truth that they must die to themselves, pick up their cross and follow the life of Christ within them. The act of caring starts with the members of the group demonstrating unconditional love toward each other. Each showing acts of selflessness in helping each other experience the love, acceptance and forgiveness of Christ Himself. Once the attendee experiences this within the group, they are then able to reach out to men outside the group in like manner. Church – is the body of Christ functioning as a healing agent to touch the lost or the “wayward” Christian who has lost their way. Weather the small group is being conducted in a local church or in a community setting, the overall purpose of the group is to connect the attendees to the body of Christ. One of the specific challenges “mega” churches face today is developing a connectedness for all those attending the local church. The same thing is true for men who are out in the world functioning as independents. We need to assist them in gaining a feeling of connectedness to the body of Christ, the local church and other men – the three key elements in personal growth. Correction – the act of making a crocked path straight. Most men coming into the small group have areas in their lives that need correction. The act of correction is not forcing one to change; it is leading an individual to repentance through kindness 57


Sexual Temptations Of Man (Romans 2:4). This is one of the most misunderstood actions of Christianity. Many body members interrupt this action as “confrontation” – using the Law to change the heart of a man. The Law arouses more flesh; grace quiets the heart for the purpose of change (Romans 7:5). Since kindness is one of the manifestations of the Fruit of the Spirit, it will require fellow group members to allow the Holy Spirit to show love, patience, peace, joy, gentleness, self-control, faithfulness and kindness through them (Galatians 5:22-23). Commitment – is the actions of fulfilling your word. Jesus is strong in His statement of commitment to us as body members and He is strong in his requirements for us in being committed to each other as body members (John 21:15-19). Each group attendee should be equipped in the model of being committed and faithful to each other for edification of the body of Christ. Being committed requires courage, determination and perseverance even when you don’t feel like it. These qualities are not to be duplicated; they must be manifested through the work of the Holy Spirit that lives within the believer. This is why it takes the leader of the group to demonstrate undying resolve to be committed to each attendee of the group. The leader should consistently reveal that in and of themselves, they do not possess the ability to be committed but it is through Christ in them that gives them this ability. Celebration – the act of worship and prayerful thanksgiving. Once a man becomes comfortable and secure in the relationships formed within the group, they will begin to develop an attitude of celebration – being overwhelmed with a heart of thanksgiving. The people of God cannot celebrate unless they are thankful. Thanksgiving usually comes through watching God bring healing to the hearts of man. It is the group leaders’ responsibility to maintain a heart of celebration – consistently revealing what God is accomplishing in the lives of those attending the group. Celebration necessitates the need for sharing testimonies of what God is doing in each member’s heart.

Community – the demonstration of unity within a group of individuals. Small groups have two dimensions and objectives regarding community; first, to develop the act of unity within the group itself; second, to equip the members in being community minded outside of their group. The four layers of community for each small group is; community within the group, within the local church, within the body of Christ {world-wide}, and then touching the community around the local church. See illustration #1:

Small Group Community Local Church Community Body of Christ Community Outer Community

Illustration #1

When a group leader understands and embraces the seven core values of facilitating a small group, he will be and effective servant leader that others can trust. Small groups are the “heart beat” of all church and ministry structures. For without small groups, the local church will become an educational institution. This will encourage body members to come and be hand feed. Small groups equips the local church in intimacy, the local church equips the body of Christ (world-wide) to be effective community (world) changers. 58


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SMALL GROUP STRUCTURE As in any small group structure, we need to keep it simple and straightforward. There is a variety of small groups; young married, youth, families, men’s, singles etc. No matter what the needs are, the structure itself should rarely change. Each group should have the following components: Leader Apprentice Hospitality Committed Members New Members On-Lookers

 Leader – primary leader  Apprentice Leader – small group leader in the making  Hospitality Coordinator – serves in hosting and refreshments  Committed Attendees – dedicated and faithful workers  New Members – members that are not yet committed to the group’s mission  Interested On-lookers – individuals coming to “check things out”

Illustration #2

SMALL GROUP CONNECTION OF ORDER Small group leaders are not alone. Each leader should expect that the structure above and around them is an added protection for their group. In addition, it is equally as important for the group leader to understand the role of structure designated by their church or ministry leader. Most small group structures will look something like this:

Men’s Ministry Leader

Group Leader

Apprentice

Group Leader

Apprentice

Group Leader

Apprentice

Small Group Minister

Group Leader 59

Apprentice


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Illustration #3

This chart reveals the structure of support to ensure the small group leaders, apprentices, and workers are properly cared for and trained in servicing the church or ministry that hosts the small group ministry. If the small groups multiply beyond four or five, there will be one more position added to the structure – the Small Group Regional Coordinator. This individual will oversee small groups within a designated zone or region. Their primary responsibility would be to provide direction, insight and support to each of the Small Group Leaders under their care.

THE LEADER AND HIS MENTORS All leaders need other leaders to guide and direct them in all of their ways. It has been my experience, if a leader surrounds them with other leaders who can keep them focused and directed in their calling they will be able to multiply their efforts exponentially. I have had five mentors in my live for many years. These mentors were “hand-picked” for advising me in each of the list areas of life.

Ministry Mentor

Friend

Small Group Leader

Consider the following model of Biblical accountability: Leadership Mentor

Business Mentor

Personal Mentor

Illustration #4 Ministry Mentor – this individual should have experience in the day-to-day operations of ministry activities. They make great “sounding boards” for your ideas and plans. Their experience will help you avoid unnecessary “mistakes.” Plus, when they pray for you, they know what it is like to embrace the challenges of ministry.

Business Mentor – most “ministers” do not like to look at the business side of ministry. The reality is, all ministry activities must function under the ethics and organizational management of business. Business doesn’t mean “making money,” business is the practical elements of managing a structure that involves people, strategic plans and measurement outcomes. Your business mentor will be able to help you effectively manage the administrative side to your ministry. Personal Mentor – this individual keeps a close eye on your personal life; marriage, family, financial affairs, and personal vulnerabilities. Pray that God gives you a personal mentor that has their “household” in order. This does not mean they are without “sin,” it means that they are faithful in walking after the spirit and active in keep their personal affairs in order. Leadership Mentor – this is a man of God who has the gift of leadership. They will be quick to lead you and assist you in leading others. I have a dear friend (mentor) that is highly gifted in this area. He plays a major role in my life. His wisdom and insight is more valuable to me than words could ever express. This mentor is easy to find – he usually has a group of people following him. Friend – is a man who is simply one of your friends. This friend is faithful, loyal and true to you. They are “always there for you” through the “good” and the “bad” times. This type of friend is 60


Sexual Temptations Of Man quick to love on you and support you when you “mess-up.” If you do not have such a friend – pray for one. All men need a friend like this. My friend mentor is my “armor bearer” and we talk almost on a daily basis. It is my recommendation that you meet with your mentorship group on a weekly basis. I meet with my mentor group every Tuesday morning, same time, day and location. Don’t allow scheduling or vacations to get in the way. Whoever is able to come – comes! Through the years, there have been times that I was there alone having coffee with me, myself and God. Show your mentors that you are committed to be there at all cost. If you are out of town – they meet without you. This will keep a steady consistent pattern going for all of you. In due time, this meeting will become a “top priority” for each of them.

BEING “CALLED” AS A LEADER Small groups need gifted and called leaders. When a man feels manipulated into “filling the position” of small group leader, he will consistently fail at his responsibilities. This is why it is critical that each leader embraces their calling from God to lead. Leaders who know they are called by God consider it a privilege and honor to lead and be led. The best leaders are servant leaders. A qualified leader is one who is willing to serve their leaders, as well as serve the people who are in their care. Jesus said He did not come to be served by to serve and give His life as a ransom. Through service, followers become faithful. If you have chosen to be a small group leader, you are choosing to step into a life of giving your life away. Being responsible for people’s lives is a privilege that comes with great requirements. God said, to whom much is given, much is required. Those of us who are leadership know the sacrifice and hardship that comes with the job. If it wasn’t for the power of the Holy Spirit, it would be an impossible task. God not only calls the leader, He empowers them to accomplish all of what He gives them to do.

THE GROUP LEADER IN ACTION This individual functions in a servant leadership capacity. They operate as an overseer of the group that provides direction and leadership to the group. This individual should be gifted in teaching, leading and basic administrative skills. The small group leader should model the Seven Core Values presented in this Leaders Guide:

The Seven C’s

      

Compassion Care Church Correction Commitment Celebration Community

By being an example of each of these values, the leader is demonstrating to the attendees what true leadership is all about.

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Sexual Temptations Of Man The small group leader should make special effort to teach and disciple the apprentice leader in how to function in each of these seven values. In order to be a small group leader and/or an apprentice leader, he will need to be:             

A born-again Christian – received Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. A man of the Word of God – is devoted to daily reading of the Word. A man of integrity – is committed to what is right at all cost. A member of a local church – revealing the importance of being connected to the body of Christ and able to connect attendees to the local church. Committed to the assigned curriculum – will not “do their own thing”. A man who leads – is willing to guide and direct those he oversees through a servant style leadership. A man of his word – will keep his word regarding time, tasks and talents. A minister of reconciliation – focused on restoring brokenness in the body. A man of vision – one who embraces the purpose and vision of the small group and is able to recruit new attendees from the community. A man of multiplication – has the ability to multiply his efforts. A communicator – is able to communicate effectively. A leader among leaders – is able to “pick out” new leaders within the group and able to train these “leaders in the making” for future small groups. A man of discipleship – is able to disciple (grow others up in Truth) and problem solve issues that come up in the small group.

Leaders are called, gifted and ordained by God to build up the body of Christ for edifying the church (1 Corinthians 14:12). Without the leaders submitting to the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit, they will not be able to facilitate, grow or lead by example. A leader who leads in his own strength will fail! A leader who allows the Life of Christ to lead through them will prosper in all that they do. Don’t be intimidated by the above list. In and of ourselves, none of us as leaders fit this description; it is the life of Jesus Christ that functions as this dynamic leader through us. All you need to do is be dependant. God will take care of the rest.

TEACHING HINTS Being Visual: Earlier in the field of education, they use to teach that visual learners was a style of learning but most recent studies have shown that all people are visual learners. This is probably because that we have come to discover that the human mind thinks in word pictures. Because of these new discoveries, I strongly recommend the leader to use:      

Visual aids Handouts White boards Object lessons Parables Etc.

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Sexual Temptations Of Man This will help the leaders gain and keep the learners attention. Jesus used a method that matched the design of creation. He consistently used parables in communicating simple, straight forward and life-changing Truths. Not only is His method wise for us to use but His method is what He does use to teach others through us as living vessels. I doubt Jesus would adjust His teaching “style” for modern man. A leader who studies the life of Christ to better equip themselves as teachers, disciplers and leaders is a leader who become successful at all he does. Being Verbal: All learners are auditory learners, even the deaf. Working with the deaf for many years, I discovered a simple but profound truth. Once you reach the heart of a deaf person through methods of visual or touch communication, they “hear the words in their minds.” After hearing this testimony from many deaf people, I became a strong believer in “word picture communication.” One might ask; what does this have to do with verbal communication? Actually, it is a lot. When a leader chooses his words for communicating his point, they need to be words that create a “word picture” in the mind of the listener. On those occasions when we try to use non-word pictures, we begin to sound lofty and complicated. Not only does it make us look like we are trying to sound smart, but the listener doesn’t remember a word we were saying. Why, you might ask? It has no picture connected to it! Here are two examples of communication; the first has no word pictures connected to it and the second is vivid, active and alive: Example #1 – Mr. Complicated Ethics – the intellectual pursuit of relevant and objective data that transcends the elements of logical human behavior, while it reveals the characteristics of absolute truth. Example #2 – Mr. Simple Ethics – the study of a person’s life that has shown the ability to stand up for what is right even when faced with rejection. Using and finding words that effectively “paints” pictures in the minds of your listeners, will help your students remember the Truth that sets them free. Jesus Himself said that we must become like little children in order to inherit the Kingdom of Heaven (Matthew 18:3). He also said that out of the mouths of children God prepares His praises (Matthew 21:16). Children think in stories, parables, and illustrations. From the beginning of time, the primary tool for teaching children is using toys (visual aids) that have sounds (auditory aids) that help them connect with a word – the bird goes tweet-tweet. A leader will do well if he communicates with his adult students in a form that is borderline offensive to their minds. Being Real: People enjoy learning when they are able to “connect the dots” to something that is real and tangible. This is learning by doing. Each principle that a leader teaches should be a truth that is multipliable – information that is transferable. This is why it is so critical that a leader uses participatory teaching as a model of connecting the learner to what is being taught. This can be accomplished by:     

Testimonies Group discussions Asking open ended questions Role-playing Serving one another

Tangible Visuals

Concept Visuals

Auditory Visuals Illustration #5

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Demonstrations Community service projects Group counseling Etc.

An effective group leader will not only demonstrate what he is saying, he will involve the group members in activities or homework assignments that will drive the Truth from faith to works (James 2:18). Without the effort of making the Truth real and tangible, the leader is tempting the followers to always learn but never able to come to the full knowledge of Truth (2 Timothy 3:7). By using a participatory style of teaching, the leader is helping the group members get to know, embrace and function in their spiritual gifting.

THE FIVE “M’S” OF MINISTRY The primary truths that determine the success of a small groups or public forum meetings are meaning, message, media, momentum and motivation. When a teacher brings these elements together, he becomes a master communicator. The interplay of these elements encourages and ensures connection between the teacher and the student. The five “M’s” reinforces the message, encourages action and demonstrates true leadership. Meaning: Attendees need a reason for attending the meeting, above and beyond the idea of their body is in a seat. Ideally, the reason should provide a clear sense of purpose and relate to the mission of the meeting agenda. Once the attendee arrives, a clear purpose and overall sense of importance will create a feeling of mutual ownership, body-life and unity for everyone in the room. Message: The core message of the meeting should include information and insight that potentially can’t be found in any other group. This message is a special message that God gave this particular group to help the attendees grow in Christ in a strategic area of their lives. For example, a group of men getting together to learn how to become leaders of their homes, businesses and communities. By using a specific area of focus, the leader will focus his message to accomplish a specific mission and the attendees will leave the group feeling helped, encouraged and edified. Media: Leaders should not be afraid to use electronic visual aids to help the attendee remember the message with supportive graphics (PowerPoint), voice messaging, e-mails, and e-newsletters that continue to communicate the message. Let’s face it, we live in a media driven society. A leader who masters the art of using basic media tools to reinforce connectedness, will be a leader who will remain on the “cutting-edge.” A warning; don’t allow the media tool to distract from the message you are wanting to communicate. Multi-media tools are designed to keep you on track. If you choose to use a PowerPoint type of tool, keep the points short and sweet. Your bullet points are to provoke discussion and body-life. If the leader cannot find the balance, it is best not to use these types of tools. Momentum: It’s important, if not critical, to keep things moving. All successful small groups have a compelling pace. Attendees always anticipating what’s coming next. The group leader doesn’t dawdle or digress; agenda items stay on track and build to a logical conclusion. Facilitating a small group is like conducting an orchestra in song; it starts with a restful pace and ends with an explosion of crescendo.

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Sexual Temptations Of Man Motivation: When a small group leader gets people excited about their message, they give them a reason to act on it. Leaders that lack in personal motivation have followers that are poorly motivated. Like it or not, people follow and exemplify the behavior of their leaders. Motivation comes from within, through the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit. When a leader is, moment-bymoment, walking after the Spirit, they will be well equipped to empower their group members to live the message they are delivering. The leader must give people a reason to believe in the message or they most likely won’t believe in the One who sent the message – Christ Himself. A leader must be honest and credible in order to motivate the attendees. If the message is to be embraced, the leader will demonstrate their full devotion to Christ and His body. When all the “M” elements come together through the empowerment of Christ within the leader, they point to the big “M” – the Master Jesus Christ. When a leader attempts to accomplish any of the above items by using their own strength, they are sure to fall. The five “M’s” of teaching can easily be interpreted as “self-help” techniques. They are not! They are helpful and useful concepts that result from dependence on Christ. An effective small group leader should inform, engage and inspire all attendees in the room, which is humanly impossible. This is why it takes the Holy Spirit to bring meaning, message, momentum and motivation to the group. Those leaders who allow the Spirit to manage the meeting are sure to experience a transformation group.

People of Hindrance: When leading a small group, understanding the dynamics of your group is critical for the growth of the attendees. This will require the leader being aware of the personalities, learning styles, and spiritual gifts represented in each of the members. The primary responsibility of the leader is to maintain proper management of the group as whole. One of the first things all leaders need to be aware of is the liabilities, or things that could go wrong, within the group. The following is a list of items that could obstruct the “flow” of the meeting:  The Humornator – this individual uses humor to “lighten” the atmosphere when things get to serious. The problem with this is true ministry happens when “things get serious.” Allow this to happen only once. After the meeting, pull this person aside and encourage them to allow the serious times in order for ministry to occur. Remember to thank them for their sense of humor but to stay alert as to the appropriate time to use it.  The Perfectionist – this person has the tendency to use too many details in answering questions or giving their “opinion” about the related topic. In a graceful way, find the good in what they are saying and move on quickly to the point you or another person is making. If this becomes a “problem” in the group, you may have to pull them aside as well.  The Pessimist – this attendee looks to the “dark-side” of everything. Their view of life usually comes by looking at the negative aspects of life. Normally, they do not have any answers to their own negative challenges but is certainly willing to point out “what won’t work.” Find the truth in what they are saying, tie it into the 65


Sexual Temptations Of Man topic and move on quickly. Keep the focus of attention off this individual. Most “attention seekers” are pessimistic in nature.  The Columnist – this attendee is a “walking dictionary” of facts, figures and information that is interesting but usually has little to do with the topic at hand. The problem: it causes other group members to think about details that pull them away from what God wants to reveal to the group. Secondly, it stimulates other members to go off on “rabbit trails” – talking about related items that don’t enhance or edify the body of Christ. I call it “fruitless discussions.”  The Self-seeker – this person is often times lonely and appears to need the attention from all those around them. In the world of counseling, we call this, “the boy who cried wolf.” They perceive that all their struggles are of critical nature. This is the most difficult person to deal with. When you do not give attention to them or move the group dynamics away from them, they feel overwhelmed with rejection. The best way to handle them is, take their “issue” and verbally tell them you are going to place their concern in the Leadership Prayer Log. Make the statement, and in front of the whole group, write it in the prayer log and move on immediately. **Remember to pray for them during your designated prayer time. **  The Assassinator – the leader of the group consistently threatens this person. They typically will only challenge the leader of the group. My experience with men like this is; a father or father figure at some point in their lives has seriously wounded them. The challenge is; this individual is usually your next small group leader. They have strong leadership skills that are in need of a great deal of training and grace of God. Physically make note of their ideas or challenges and move on. Do not, I repeat, do not get into debates or discussion in front of the group with this person. Their goal usually is not content, most of the time it is to bring the leader down a “notch” or two and put themselves in the leaders spot.

People That Will Bless Your Ministry: It wouldn’t be fair just to focus on the hindrances of leadership, God gives leaders body members that are uplifting and supportive of the mission of the small group. Let’s take a look at the general “types” of individuals that will bless your efforts as a leader: 

Armor Bearer – this worker is faithful and true to their leadership and the Word of God. They consistently watch the “backside” of the leader. They are quick to “stand in the gap” when other individuals attempt to bring the leader down. The seven core values are, or are beginning to be, a part of their daily living. Every leader needs at least one of these men. If you get more than one, feel blessed.

Exhorter – is a body member that is quick to encourage the leader and other members of the group. They show strong gifts of “counseling” or discipleship. Seeing “flaws” is a part of their gifting but they typically look past the sin and embrace the one who is choosing to sin. Acts of grace will pour out of this worker like rain from heaven. A leader should rely upon an exhorter to help him meet the emotional needs of the group attendees.

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Administrator – will watch for details that the leader often times overlooks. They see numbers, organizational issues and details that are necessary to keep the group connected to the vision and mission of the group. It would be wise of the leader to “recruit” this administrator to help them with the day-to-day details of managing the group.

Mercy Man – is quick to see the wounded hearts. Many times a leader is a “prophet” type and prophets have the tendency to “press on” even when a heart is being wounded. The mercy man will help the leader slow down and take the time necessary to help the wounded embrace the truth that will set them free. The group leader should always have one eye on the mercy man. This worker will become like a barometer for the leader. I recommend that the leader give the mercy man permission ahead of time to let him know when he thinks there is someone in the group that needs immediate prayer or further clarification regarding the teachings. I have an armor bearer that has the gift of mercy, which travels with me as I minister. I rely upon him to help me stay connected to the hearts of the people.

Challenger – is a worker that is not afraid to challenge the leader with Biblical accuracy. This individual is not “controversial” or “combative,” they are passionate about making sure that everything said and done is Biblical. Every leader needs one of these in his ministerial toolbox. Depending upon the growth level of the worker, you, as a leader, may need to encourage them to “pull you aside” after the meeting to challenge you with issues that will take time to work out.

Evangelist – this worker is always on the hunt for the unsaved. The evangelist type is a critical piece to the puzzle of small group growth. As a leader, you are appt to be so focused on shepherding the group, that you will miss opportunities for “leading a lost soul to Christ.” Give this person permission to spend time with the “unsaved” individuals attending the group. Encourage them to pursue relationship with the lost and to keep you updated on their progress.

Cupbearer – is quick to serve you and others that are in leadership positions. Many leaders are uncomfortable with this. Don’t be! Allow cupbearers to do what they do best; help make you more comfortable as you lead. I have cupbearers bring me water, coffee, snacks, set up equipment, and pack my briefcase and other cup bearing activities. When a servant is free to serve, they feel they are a significant part of the body of Christ. Besides, a cupbearer knows and understands that they more they can do for you, the more you are freed up to focus on ministering the hearts of the people. I highly value having a cupbearer in my life. You will too!

Here is a list of ways that you can involve key workers in your small group development:  

Leading worship – if your group meets in an environment that is conducive to worship, recruit one of your workers who has a love and gifting to lead people in song. The worship time needs to stay within the boundaries of your agenda. Refreshments – many attendees are more than willing to support the group by offering refreshments. It is my recommendation that you do not leave this up to the host/hostess. Offering your home for the group is a major gift in and of itself. Having other individuals “take turns” in bringing refreshments is usually a good idea. Social Events – your group should consistently plan social activities outside of your regular meeting time. There will be members in your group that enjoy organizing social activities. Do not put more than one person in charge of this responsibility. My experience is less is more. 67


Sexual Temptations Of Man 

Prayer – hopefully you will have at least one prayer warrior in your group. I like to make use of their gifting by putting them in charge of the prayer time. They are good at listing request, giving, and asking for updates. If the prayer coordinator does not think of it on their own, encourage them to start a Leadership Prayer Log. In this log, they will need to list all spoken needs, wants and hurts. Each week, you need to take the necessary time to go through the prayer list. This will also provide opportunities for testimonies. Reminder Calls – as mentioned earlier, it is a good idea to call your group members each week to remind them of the upcoming meeting date, time and location. This worker should show strong relational skills – enjoys talking to strangers. Have them place a call to each member 3 days before the event. Have your caller ask the member; “Is there anything that ‘John’ (the group leader) can pray about?” Have the caller promptly e-mail or call you with their request. Then pray! Database – it is a good idea to start a database on your members. Collect names, phone numbers, e-mail addresses, birthdates etc. Have your data collector be responsible for making sure you get the above information. You can accomplish this by designing a form, filled out by the attendees, on their first visit. The form should include:

There are many other types of roles that your group members can help with, for example; visiting other members, setup/take down of meetings, events calendar and planning community service projects. The important thing is, make use of your workers but do it according to their skills, talents and spiritual gifts.

FOUR LEVELS OF TRANSPARENCY & INTIMACY It is “wishful” thinking on a leader’s part to think that every man that attends his group will be ready and willing to allow you as a leader to go into their “inner room.” Most men need “runway” talk to feel comfortable or they typically run away. Transparency is a difficult thing for most people to demonstrate and enjoy. It usually brings up all kinds of fear; fear of the unknown, losing control, getting emotional, confessing some unknown sin, or just the fear of someone hurting them once they took the risk of being transparent. Whatever the case may be, it is your responsibility as a leader to help each person attending your group how to feel safe enough to be intimate and transparent with all those within the group. Throughout my years of counseling, I have learned that there are four primary levels of intimacy within relationships. Most “hang out” in the first two quads. Every once and a while you will have someone go to 3 and 4 on their own but this is rare. Usually the leader has to lead the attendee to “deeper” levels of intimacy.

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Please consider these four levels of intimacy when attempting to minister:

Four Quads of Intimacy 1

2

Gate Talk

Courtyard Talk

Superficial talk about sports, the market, politics, the latest hunt, business and likeminded activities.

Round table discussions about the struggles the attendee is having with “safe” relationships such as his boss, a friend or co-worker.

4

3

Inner Most Room Talk

Inner Room Talk

The inner most room is the most intimate place in a man’s heart. This is where secret sins are hidden away – things that typically only God knows about. Sins, thoughts and activities that the man is to “embarrassed” to discuss with anyone else.

Inner room talk is heart talk. There is a willingness to be open and transparent about the struggles he is having with his most intimate relationships; wife, children, lover, best friend, as well as talking about “safe” sins.

Illustration #6

It is the leader’s responsibility to lead the wounded man into each of the different levels of intimacy. A leader should not expect the man to walk into these quads without help. Don’t get me wrong, many men are open, willing and ready to step into the Inner Most Room quickly. However, this certainly is not the “norm.” When walking a brother into deeper levels of vulnerability and intimacy, it takes the leader building trust in the relationship. Trust comes through love, acceptance and forgiveness. The leader needs to allow gate talk and courtyard talk as often as necessary to help the individual feel comfortable and safe. Once there is a certain level of trust build, the leader should begin asking questions that will gently lead them into the next quad. Yes, this will take time. It will completely depend upon the level of openness that exists between the two men. What I have found to be the most successful strategy is, to confess my own struggles with temptations of the world and the flesh. This places the leader and the follower on the same playing field.

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TRAINING YOUR APPRENTICE The whole purpose of having an apprentice is for multiplying yourself and advancing the Kingdom of God. I have made it a habit for the past 20 years of ministry to have an apprentice with me most places I go. It is common to see me with a “leader in the making” at meetings, conferences, speeches, small groups and even social events. Mastering the art of mentoring will build your ministry faster than anything else will. A dear brother in the Lord, Bill Donahue, has put together a list to help small group leaders find an apprentice. Look for the following: 1. Look for group members who take the group seriously and are committed to you as a leader. 2. Consider those people who challenge your leadership. These may be potential leaders who are frustrated because they have no opportunity to lead. 3. Look for gifted people whom you can recognize and affirm. 4. Pray regularly for new apprentice – always be on the hunt for new leaders. 5. Look for people who embrace the small group vision. 6. Observe those in your ministry as they perform tasks or work with people. Give them additional ministry opportunities and responsibilities to see if perhaps they have some leadership potential. 7. Try to look for people who exhibit the following spiritual, emotional, and social qualifications:  Spiritual qualifications – do they see God working in their life? Are they self-feeders? Are they egger to lean?  Emotional qualifications – are they secure enough to be vulnerable and honest with the group? Are they emotionally stable? How do they respond to confrontation and character development?  Social qualifications – Do they openly participate without dominating? Are they able to listen to others in a caring way? Are they able to facilitate discussion? These are the primary seven. Once God leads you to a potential apprentice, approach them with confidence and grace. Let them know that you have been watching them and believe that they have the gifting and skills to help you lead. Invite them to pray about the opportunity of coming along side you as your apprentice leader. Answer their questions regarding what an apprentice is and what their responsibilities are. If they respond positively, let them know that you will be setting up a time to train and equip them for the “job.”

Apprentice Training Meeting: During this meeting, you will simply walk them through this manual, page-by-page. Remembering the key point of having an apprentice is that you are training them to take over your role as small group leader. After you have equipped them regarding your job, give them the specifics on how they will be helping you accomplish this mission. There are no hard-set rules for the role of an apprentice. The dynamics are easy; you serve your leader, they serve you and the group looks to them for guidance as well. On an ongoing basis, spend quality time with them. I suggest a weekly meeting over a cup of coffee. In this meeting, you should:

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Sexual Temptations Of Man 1. Encourage them – let them know what a great job they are doing. If they are not, help them see the ways that they are “falling down on the job.” 2. Review the last group meeting – list out the things that could have been done more effectively. 3. Member by member, talk about each attendee and what challenges these members might be having and then find solutions for your concerns. Keeping them in the “problem solving” process is the best way to train them for small group leadership. 4. Plan for the next meeting – give them a clear understanding of what you see happening next week and “list” of what you would like them to help you with. That’s it! Keep it simple because life will offer many complications. As long as you stay in touch with your apprentice spiritually and personally, you will do fine.

Leading the Group: Leading your small group requires spiritual leadership that includes sacrificial serving and giving. Whatever a leader does it needs to be done with his whole heart, working for the Lord and not for others (Colossians 3:23-24). Each small group leader is to serve Christ in their efforts of leadership. When a man attempts to serve Christ by ministering unto man, he is sure to fail. In fact, this is the number one reason why men drop out of leadership. They become discouraged because they are not getting the response from the people they expected. This is a mindset of investment with an expected return. All leaders want to see the fruit of their labors but God calls us as servants to not expect fruit but pray for it. Small group leaders have the privilege of “planting the seeds” or watering them but God is the one that causes the growth – therefore, He gets the fruit. Leading in ministry also requires bearing fruit in our own lives, being a “watch dog” in the lives of those we serve, being an example, using our spiritual gifts to their fullest capacity, teaching solid Biblical truths, being patient and longsuffering with those we help, and most important – focus on the ministry of reconciliation. When we as leaders lose sight of these basic elements of leadership, we become “spit in the wind.” Being organized can be a challenge for many of us. Doing things at the last moment is one of the worst habits of many leaders. They use their positions of authority to do things when they want and on their timetable. Once a leader takes on the responsibilities of ministry, it becomes all about the people they serve. We want help you be prepared and organized but we can’t “make you” use the tools we offer. That will be up to you.

Starting a small group is one thing but it takes wisdom, planning and consultation to adequately prepare and run a successful group. Many leaders fall short when it comes to planning. Particularly men, they have the tendency to “wing it.” It is our desire to help leaders follow a simple plan that is easily reproducible. Preparing for the meeting is more critical than leading the meeting itself. When a leader is well prepared, he will find it easy to manage the meeting. The leader should follow the stated format: 71


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Transformation Meeting Agenda: Leader: John

Apprentice: Jim

Location: Church Library

Meeting Date: January 8

Names of Workers: Host: Rick

Hospitality: Ralph

Agenda: Start 7:00 7:10 7:15 7:20 7:25 7:45

Finish 7:10 7:15 7:20 7:25 7:45 8:15

Activity Runway Time – fellowship/refreshments Prayer Testimony – group members story Review – last week’s topic Teaching – follow assigned curriculum Discussion – ask pre-planned questions that relate to the topic. 8:15 8:30 Prayer – pray regarding needs revealed during the discussion time. Remember to write each request and/or need in your leadership prayer log. 8:30 Dismissal – announcements etc. After Glow – leaders should make themselves available to talk, pray or encourage men who need one-on-one ministry.

Person Each Member Leader Group Member Apprentice Leader Apprentice Leader Apprentice Leader/ Apprentice

Preparation Checklist: Getting excited about the above outline is one thing but being well prepared for what take place within the meeting, itself is another. As I have lead groups through the years, I have developed a “check-list” to help me get ready for the event. I use this type of checklist for almost any event I am responsible in leading. The following list is a sample and I recommend that you take the format and design your own. In the Appendix portion of this manual, you will find a blank form that you can make copies for your projects. However, even when you are creating your own check list; consider these items as you prepare for your small group gathering:

Transformation Check List: Action

Person

Week Before Meeting 1. Write out the meeting agenda – see above example. 2. Reminder call, e-mail or face to face to all attendees. 3. Midweek call to attendees – find out how they are doing. 4. Select and call member-giving testimony. 5. Inform apprentice of their responsibilities. 6. Member prayer time – take time each day to pray for your members by praying through the Leadership Prayer Log. 7. Write out your discussion questions – unless the curriculum is providing them for you. 8. List out announcements you will be making. 72


Sexual Temptations Of Man 9. Decide on financial needs for the group. 10. Review your teaching and discussion questions. 11. Contact the host, or restaurant, to remind them of meeting time and number of members you are expecting. Once You Arrive 12. Check on seating – number and placement. 13. Eliminate all distractions – phones, TV, etc. 14. Check on temperature and lighting. 15. Refreshments ready and in place. 16. Background music – use instrumental on low volume. 17. Pray with leadership, host, and hospitality before members arrive. 18. Secure location of next meeting. Starting the Meeting 19. Welcome each person that arrives personally. Have your apprentice get in the habit of doing the same thing. 20. If the “runway time” is 10 min. – keep it to 10 minutes. 21. Turn off the background music. If you are in a restaurant, have them turn the music down in the room you are meeting in. 22. Once you have gained the attention of the attendees, introduce all of your workers. 23. Go around and have people introduce themselves and announce how long they have been attending this group. 24. Open in prayer promptly at the time designated. 25. Introduce your testimony and share a small background bio. 26. Pray silently throughout the meeting. There is power released in prayer. Closing the Meeting 27. Quickly go over the homework assignment the curriculum requires. Ask them if they have any questions. 28. Thank the group for coming and being willing to engage in the small group activities. 29. Make your announcements. Remind them of the next meeting date, time and location. 30. Give the group your (and your apprentice) phone number and e-mail address. 31. Offer the group the website addresses for Men Mapping and the IOM America On-line Bookstore. www.iomamerica.spreadtheword.com and www.menmapping.com 32. Announce to the group that you and the apprentice leader will be staying around for a few minutes after the meeting to talk to individuals that need personal ministry. 33. When closing with prayer, pray a benediction over the group. Resource: Men Mapping Book of Prayers by Dr. Phinney 34. Dismiss attendees.

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Choosing a curriculum can be an overwhelming task. Men Mapping Outreach Ministries works diligently at writing materials that are “plug & play” for small group leaders. The Sexual Temptations of Man is practical and simple to follow. As you prepare for your first small group meeting, go through the checklist below and attempt to accomplish the stated agenda items. Action Items Personally invite 6-12 men to your first meeting. Communicate to the invites the vision and mission of why your meeting. Give the invite an overview of the Men & Warfare – The Study Guide series. Order The Sexual Temptations of Man workbook for each of your attendees. Each attendee is required to have the materials.  Men Mapping online bookstore gives a 30% discount on the guides – www.menmapping.com Have the materials in hand ready for distribution at your first meeting. Go through the Preparation Checklist listed earlier in this manual. Accomplish all the items that are appropriate for your first meeting. Re-read the Small Groups Leaders section of this manual 3 days before your 1st meeting. Print appropriate number of New Members Forms for 1st meeting. See Appendix portion of this manual. Re-read Introduction section of The Sexual Temptations of Man and highlight points you want to cover. Stay at least two weeks ahead of your attendees in the Study Guide. This will help you think through possible questions and issues that might arise. Obtain a notebook to start your Leadership Prayer Log. Have your first meeting.

Your Leadership Prayer Log should look something like this:

January 8, 04 John Doe John shared he is struggling with internet pornography. He fell twice this past week and he is concerned about telling his wife about his struggle. January 15, 04 Bob Doe Bob is suffering from “panic attacks.” It is stopping him from being able to be focused on his work. He is wondering if he should go to the doctor and get medicated. The group encouraged him not to. Keep your log simple and legible. You will be using this log to pray for your men, as well as “check up” on them during your weekly phone calls. I recommend that during the next 74


Sexual Temptations Of Man meeting you (or your apprentice) read the statements aloud in order for the group to get an update and offer more encouragement.

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Learning To Pray Doctrinally TOOLS OF WARFARE “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the victor’s crown, the life God has promised to those who love Him.” James 1:12 As workers, you probably understand the importance of having a toolbox equipped with the exact tools you need to accomplish the task you have set out to do. There is nothing more frustrating than wanting to do some project around the home and not having the necessary tools. In the same way, we need a spiritual toolbox packed with the proper tools to accomplish the eternal project that God has set before us as Christians. This is the underlying purpose of this Prayer Book – to provide practical, useful information and insight into waging war against the powers of darkness that seem to bind us as Christians. The world, the flesh and the devil will be continuously defeated if we use the weapons of our warfare effectively. The Lord Jesus has provided all the tools we need. He has already secured our daily victory. The tools His Father gave Him to “fight off” the enemy are the same tools He has made available to us. But, it remains our responsibility to activate these weapons by the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit. “Consider mine enemies, for they are many; and they hate me with cruel hatred.” Psalms 25:19 NKJV The subject of aggressive spiritual warfare against the world, the flesh, and the devil is becoming increasingly important. We live in a degrading society that makes fleshly things more accessible than ever before. Many, if not most, Christians are giving themselves to rampant abandonment and indulgence in fleshly sins. The enemy is pushing for conformity to his image through the power of media, unhealthy relationships, and an overwhelming influx of opportunities to please ourselves. Satan and his demonic kingdom relentlessly press their battle against believers and all of God’s provisions of freedom. Christians have the tendency to battle what they see. This includes our wives, rebellious children, unfaithful friends, employers, employees, etc. The first thing you must embrace before starting this study is that we do not fight flesh and blood, but powers of darkness. Satan simply uses and abuses what we see in order to destroy God’s ordained leadership of the home, community, nation and world. He hates leadership. He knows that through leadership comes authority, and through authority comes power.

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DESENSITIZATION OF SATAN Satan has successfully used the world, and all of its influences, to bring a light-hearted attitude and mindset regarding the kingdom of darkness. Just take a look at the enormous volume of books, movies, video games, T-shirts, music, toys, television, advertisements, internet, fashions, jewelry, and coarse, silly jesting that we are bombarded with wherever we turn! The desensitization about Satan and his role in man’s sins is a subtle, but strategic attack on God’s divine creation – His blessed children. The enemy of this world sees to it that the world (his domain) laughs him off with indifference. Always remember this callousness is the most powerful tool the enemy has in defusing God’s serious plan of redemption. Christians ought never to entertain crude joke-making, purchase degrading media products or light-heartedly support Satan in any way. While believers need to exercise care in not assigning all of their wrongdoing as Satan’s responsibility, we must with biblical insight, understand the limited power of Satan and his kingdom. Oppression and bondage is not a joking matter. The key in the believer’s emphasis on spiritual warfare must be based on a Biblical approach to the subject. Subjective feelings, emotional desires, and fervent sincerity are not sufficient weaponry against an enemy that laughs in the face of your intents. He yields no ground to emotion or sincerity. He retreats only from the authority and power that has been given to the Christian through his/her union with the Lord Jesus Christ and the absolute truth of the Word of God. An illustration worth remembering is this. If I were to give you a sharp two-edged sword and a butter knife, which would you use to fight an assailant? Dumb question? I don’t think so! Your logical male side would choose the sharp, two-edged sword. However, in reality, when we do not use the Word of God to fight off the enemy, we are essentially using a butter knife to war against an enemy that slings a ball and chain.

“Take . . . the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” Ephesians 6:17b NASB We have two basic offensive weapons to use against Satan. They are the word of God and the power of prayer. When you put the two of these together, you have the most intimidating weapon known to the enemy. He knows he has been “had” when a man of God masters the art of using the Word of God in the power of prayer. I pray that you are beginning to see our critical need for the Word of God and prayer. The sword of the Spirit, God’s Word, is living and active. These are not words on a page. They are life-giving Words from the mouth of a living God! Use your words, and you die. Use God’s Words you live. It’s as simple as that! ”For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to 77


Sexual Temptations Of Man judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12 NASB The Word is eternal just as God Himself is eternal. Just as God is omnipotent (all powerful), so does His Word have all the needed power to defeat the enemy and to accomplish God’s will. Just as God is immutable, so the Word of God will never change. Just as our Lord is omnipresent, so His Word is always there and ready to be used in every situation. Just as God is Holy, so His Word is Holy. The bottom line is this: His Word is living, active and sharper than any two-edged sword. The enemy hates hearing it. Jesus used it to fight off temptation. You can’t survive without it. As a sword, the Word has the power to penetrate the life of every being that hears it, and that includes the enemy. It is meant to do corrective surgery within the soul, spirit, thoughts, attitudes, and body of all who hear it. This is the secret of its power against the enemy. As you use it, the Word can penetrate, cleanse, and change the life of those that embrace it as Truth. This is why it cuts away at the grip of the enemy. There is nothing more powerful and there is certainly no substitute for persistent, steady, consistent application of coming against the enemy. Even Jesus, the Son of God, used the written Word in the wilderness to fight off Satan. What worked for the Son of the living God will certainly do no less for us! “Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led around by the Spirit in the wilderness for forty days being tempted by the devil. And He ate nothing during those days, and when they had ended, He became hungry. And the devil said to Him, ‘If You are the Son of God, tell this stone to become bread.’" Luke 4:1-3 NASB The importance of doctrinal Truth and doctrinal praying is given to us by God to use daily. Doctrine, God’s unchanging Truth, is mighty in defeating our enemies. This Truth must get deep into our hearts as Christians. This can only come about as we gain understanding of the Holy Word of God and then use that Word aggressively in our lives. The following material will be helpful in keeping doctrinal Truth in the forefront of your warfare activities. Normally speaking, I am not one who advocates following “steps” to embrace freedom. However, when it comes to deliverance from strongholds in our lives, I see a definite need for a plan to faithfully follow these suggestions word for word; they will equip you and build a foundation for your soul. The Holy Spirit will aggressively act to guard your heart against your enemies.

WARNING Whenever we go to the frontlines, where the enemy lives and breathes, he is bound to try chasing us away. Do not submit to his deceptive ideas and lies that tell you there is no time, or this level of combat isn’t necessary, that these are only words, that you can put this off because you already have too many things to do, that you’re tired, or too sick, or that you are already struggling with worries, doubts, fears that will prevent you from completing your pathway to deliverance. Push through it all and respond like a warrior! 78


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In rare cases, some people experience terrifying feelings of guilt, worthlessness, physical symptoms (choking, pains moving around their body, tightness above the eyes, dizziness, blackouts, or even fainting) and terrifying spells of panic and/or depression. If any of these symptoms occur to the point of “paralyzing” you from not being able to go through the study, you will need another partner (male) to do the study with you. Remember, fear is the fire of the dragon’s mouth – it is his primary tool of intimidation. Don’t worry – it’s only hot air! Another warning: avoid becoming preoccupied with Satan and his domain. Have you ever wondered why people are intrigued with movies, video games, and music based on the dark side? Well, one of the games that the enemy plays is to create an unhealthy fascination with his work. Many people are caught up in giving more attention and credit to the enemy than they do God. I call this a “demon behind every bush” mentality. It is common for those who are struggling with satanic affliction to be preoccupied with the enemy due to their level of temptation, obsession, and negative thoughts. However, one must take special caution to keep their eyes upon Jesus. Well-trained Christians in the Word and Spirit will not fear Satan or his schemes. The Christian man is engaged in a spiritual battle even if he does not believe that he is. Satan and his spiritual forces are on the battle line waiting for you each day. A man does not have a choice as to his engagement in this battle, it awaits him each day and there is no way getting around it. If you are saved and have received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you are in! Be alert and sober, for your enemy, Satan, roams around on the earth to seek whom he can devour. Are you battle ready? If not, that’s OK. This Prayer Book will equip you and ready you for taking on the challenges he and his demonic influence have to offer. SEE YOU ON THE FRONT LINES!

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The Power of Prayer Believers are being made awake to the reality that their fight in life is not against flesh and blood but the powers of darkness and the principalities of the air. So many Christians today are deceived into thinking that what they see is what they are to battle. As the Lord draws near, we can be assured that our battle with the world, the flesh and the devil will intensify. Worldly ideas of pop psychology will increase as the primary solution to our troubled minds. More rapidly than most of us realize, the questions people ask are based on worldly fables called philosophies of man. God is calling each of His children to call upon Him and He will deliver according to His divine Truth and Will. Fear of confronting the enemy has held most believers back from bolding going before the throne of God regarding the temptations and afflictions of the enemy. God’s greatest servants have always shared an appreciation of the magnificent power of prayer and the complete victory over Satan’s kingdom which is available to all believers through the mighty Person and work of our Husband Jesus Christ. The book of Ephesians is the New Testament handbook on spiritual warfare and prayer. Get to know this book like a handbook. The believer’s emphasis in prayer must be upon a Biblical & sound doctrinal approach to this subject. The Word of God recognizes that we encounter the three faces of Satan—the world, the flesh and the devil. When a person becomes born-again, his/her relationship to everything in the physical, spiritual, mental and emotional world completely change. Since the believer is a citizen of Heaven, they are given to power to face the enemy toe to toe. Scary? Well, look at it this way, either you face him head-on or he will constantly be nipping at your heel—eating away your life a little at a time. To resist the limited power of the enemy, one must submit therefore to God first, then resist the evil one and he will flee. It is a promise given to us by God. (James 4:7) Because of our new founded relationship with God, all believers are marked targets for attack from God’s enemy—Satan. Understanding that he is relentless in his attacks, believers must embrace the Truth that the Father has given them a defense system—the power of prayer. First things first, we must not depend upon feeling and experience as an evidence of our being strong enough to pray. The power and ability to pray boldly is to be based upon objective fact and not upon subjective feelings. The power of prayer is to be appropriated by faith and faith alone. The following are the Four Phases of Effectual Prayers: 1. Personal Reflection & Confession 2. Praise & Adoration 3. Prayers of Supplication 4. Worship & Affirmation 80


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PERSONAL REFLECTION & CONFESSION The following outline presents a Biblical procedure for your personal reflection and confession time with the Lord.  Engage in an honest appraisal regarding your selfishness. It is important to be open and honest with God about yourself .  Confess all known sin (1 John 1:9). Verbalize your sins against yourself & others. Confessions take back from Satan any ground which he has taken from you.  Extend forgiveness to those who have hurt you. Unforgiveness is the primary reason most Christians don’t pray consistently. List out who hurt you, how they hurt you and your reaction. Bring the offender & how they hurt you before Him and extend forgiveness to them in prayer. Now confess to God that your reactions to these offences are sin, accept His forgiveness and tell Him you are willing to seek the offenders forgiveness for those reactions.  Yield yourself to God (Romans 6:13). As an act of your will (displace your feelings), yield all areas of your life to Him—spiritual, psychological, physical, social, marital, parental & financial.  Express your passion & desire for the Holy Spirit to renew your mind.  Believe with your mind that the Holy Spirit will fill you up with His power—remember to set your “feelings” aside and claim this by faith.  Now obey God in all that He reveals and expresses in the Scriptures and begin to pray doctrinally.

Sample Doctrinal Prayer: Blessed Holy Father, in the name of my Husband & savior Jesus Christ, I choose to pray in the light of the Holy Spirit. I recognize that only as Jesus lives in the life of my mortal body, will I be able to escape the works of my flesh. I desire the Holy Spirit to bring all of the works of my flesh to death. I choose to bring all of the work of co-crucifixion and the resurrection of Christ into my life today. I pray that the life of Christ may produce His fruit within my whole being and fill my heart with Your love for You and others. I claim Your forgiveness for all the ways I have grieved or quenched You. Enable me to embrace and respond to Your Grace. Cause me to be obedient to Your precious Word. Grant me discernment to resist being deceived by the lies of the enemy. I choose this day to allow the Holy Spirit to control my heart and mind. I trust my victory over my flesh, worldly influence and completely yield my life to You. In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I 81


Sexual Temptations Of Man receive all of the fullness of the Holy Spirit into all areas of my being today. I now pray that you empower me to bring praise and adoration before your throne.

PRAISE & ADORATION Walking after the Spirit is absolutely essential if we are to bring praise and adoration before the Father. When God said to enter the courtyard with thanksgiving and prayer— He was quite serious. Many of Christians attempt to praise God while having “things” in their lives that they are not thankful for. Philippians 4:6 says; Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. It is difficult, if not impossible, to pray and supplicate with anxiety in your heart. The way to remove anxious thoughts is through thanksgiving! In Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation—having also believed, you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is given as a pledge of our inheritance, with a view to the redemption of God's own possession, to the praise of His glory. (Ephesians 1:13-14) Thanksgiving and praise for what He has accomplished for us through the Holy Spirit of promise is enough to be thankful for in spite of our infirmities. Prayers of praise and adoration are simply admiring the Person and work of God no matter what circumstance we are faced with. It is crucial to acknowledge before God that we are grateful for all things before we petition for all things.

SAMPLE PRAISE & ADORATION PRAYER Dear Lord, I humbly approach You, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the God of promise, hope, love, and grace. I come before You in the merit, the Holiness, and the Righteousness of my Husband the Lord Jesus Christ. I praise You for the blessed ministry of prayer through the Holy Spirit. I thank you for the privilege of intercession for all of Your Saints. I praise You for being the God of all the living. I recognize that You are the Life giver and the substance of my faith. You are the God of perfection and purity. I bless you for the mighty work of the crucifixion that You accomplished through Jesus. Thank you for the cleansing work you accomplished through the blood of Your Son and for taking the penalty and guilt for my sin. I bless you for the privilege you give me to fellowship with You. Thank You that the work of the cross brings Satan’s work to nothing. I will be grateful all of the days of my life for the deliberate act of sacrifice You demonstrated by giving Your only Son to free us from the domain of darkness and transferring us into Your Kingdom of light. I will accept in my life only what comes by way of the cross of Christ. I chose to die to my old ways, and count my flesh dead with Christ on the cross. Therefore I thank You for my new identity and praise You for the redemptive act of putting off my old self and granting me new life! I now ask that you would receive my prayers of supplication . . .

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PRAYERS & SUPPLICATIONS Intercessory prayer is the practice of praying or applying the objective, absolute Truths of the Word of God as the hope and basis of resolving our prayer burden. God loves for us to pray His Word back to Him, claiming His attributes, promises and redemptive work as the foundation of our faith and hope that He will answer our supplications. The hope and solution of the prayer burden however, is always based upon the objective absolutes of God’s attributes and character as revealed in His Holy Word. Experienced prayer warriors know that using their own ideas, or words, accomplish nothing. But by using the Word of God in prayers, the enemy shutters and backs down. He, the enemy, cannot stand when the Word is used to combat the elements of his doings. Quoting verses while praying is what puts the enemy in his place—dark places. When we attempt to confront the tactics of our foe by using our own sincerity and efforts, we will soon discover he is not intimidated by us or our efforts. Doctrinal praying should occupy much of our daily prayer time. It must be used in praise, petition, and intercession. Herein lies one of God’s greatest gifts to us for our prayer times. Believers have a supernatural resource of wealth and riches in the grace and gifts bestowed upon us in the Lord Jesus Christ. The Truths are ours for claiming power, position, authority, and total victory over Satan’s world, which actually belongs to God the Father. The believers victory over the enemy is absolute when he attempts to use God’s Truth to defeat us—his primary tactic of deception. For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ… 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 It is important that you learn to pray aggressive warfare prayers for family and friends who you believe are struggling with bondage. Pray this prayer aloud when led to intercede for an individual. SAMPLE INTERCESSORY PRAYER FOR OTHERS My dear heavenly Father, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, I bring before You in prayer (loved ones name) ______________. I ask for the Holy Spirit's guidance that I might pray in the Spirit as You have taught me. I thank You, Father, that You have sovereign control over ____________. I thank You for the qualities you have placed in him/her. In the name of the Lord Jesus and as a priest of God, I ask for mercy and forgiveness for the sins of _____________ by which he/she has grieved You. I plead the sufficiency of the blood of Christ to meet the full penalty his/her sins deserve. I claim back the ground of his/her life, which he /she has given to Satan by believing the enemy’s deception. In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I resist all of Satan’s activity to hold ____________ in blindness and 83


Sexual Temptations Of Man darkness. Exercising my authority which is given to me in my union with the lord Jesus Christ, I pull down the strongholds which the kingdom of darkness has formed against ____________. I smash and break and destroy all those plans formed against _________ mind, his/her will, his/her emotions, and his/her body. I destroy in prayer the spiritual blindness and deafness that Satan keeps on him/her. I invite the Holy Spirit of God to bring the fullness of His power to convict, to bring to repentance, and to lead ___________ into faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and his/her Savior. I cover him/her with the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ, and I break Satan’s power to blind him/her to the Truth of God. Believing that You, Holy Spirit, are leading me, I claim ___________ for You in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and I thank You for the answer to my prayer. In the name of Jesus I joyfully lay this prayer before You in the worthiness of His completed work. Amen.

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REPENTANCE “When they heard this, they quieted down and glorified God, saying, "Well then, God has granted to the Gentiles also the repentance that leads to life." Acts 11:18 NASB

PRAYER Heavenly Father, I praise Your name for the grace that has come to me through the Lord Jesus Christ. I rejoice in the victory, which You have provided for me to live above sin and failure. I come before You in confession and to plead Your mercy over my own sins. I confess my sins of lukewarmness, apathy, and worldliness. I specifically confess my sin of ___________ (list all the known sins that have bound you – adultery, drug abuse etc.). I acknowledge before You the wickedness of the worldly environment by which I have allowed myself to be influenced. I accept Your forgiveness and mercy for the sins I have committed against You. I plead the sufficiency of the blood of Christ to meet the full penalty of what my sins deserve. I claim back the ground in my life, which I have given over to Satan by believing the enemy’s deception. In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I resist all of Satan’s activity to hold me blind and cause me to function in darkness. Exercising my authority, which is given to me in my union with the Lord Jesus Christ, I pull down the strongholds, which the kingdom of darkness has formed against me. I smash, break, and destroy all those plans formed against my mind, will, emotions, and body. I destroy in prayer the spiritual blindness and deafness that Satan has kept upon me. I invite the Holy Spirit of God to bring the fullness of His power to convict, to bring me to further repentance, and to lead me into faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. I claim the Truth that Satan has no power to blind me from Your Truth. I thank you for bringing me under conviction and leading me to pray this prayer of repentance and for answering my prayer of deliverance. In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I joyfully lay this prayer before You in the worthiness of Christ and the completed work on the cross. Amen.

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Renouncing Sexual Bonds “Food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food, but God will do away with both of them. Yet the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord is for the body. Now God has not only raised the Lord, but will also raise us up through His power.” 1 Corinthians 6:13-14 Yet the body is not ... – Meaning from the Greek; “the body is not designed for perusing desires sexually for selfish reasons, but to be devoted to the Lord.” The remainder of this chapter is occupied with an argument against indulgence in sex - a crime to which the Corinthians’ were particularly guilty of. Paul is simply guarding them from temptation, as to enable them to meet those who did defend it, and also to settle the morality of the question on this immovable foundation and doctrine of God. The first argument is here stated, that the body of man was designed by its Maker and is to be devoted to Him, and should be consecrated (set apart) to the purposes of a pure and Holy life. We are, therefore, bound to devote our bodies as well as our rational powers to the service of the Lord alone. This passage also states that we have no power in and of ourselves to contain this passion – it must be yielded to the power of Christ in us. This prayer renounces sinful sexual unions we have had with others outside of God’s Holy institution of marriage.

PRAYER I confess and renounce my sinful sexual union with ___________ as a sin against You, my body and __________ (the person you had the bond with). I ask that the cleansing blood of Jesus free me from the guilt and ground I’ve given by my sexual union with ___________. I renounce all bonding with this person that took place in the sexual act, and I ask for You to free me from the consequences of that bonding. I renounce all wicked and demonic holds that have a claim against me because of that sexual sin. In the name of Jesus, I break and renounce all transfer of evil that could have taken place. If you lead me to reconcile with this person, I pray for the willingness and strength to do so. I pray that You would give me to words and proper attitude to seek their forgiveness. I pray that You would use this unholy bond that I had with them as a venue to lead them to repentance and freedom like You did with me. I pray for complete freedom and forgiveness on their behalf. I cover both of us in the protective blood of Jesus Christ. It is in the power of Your Holy name that I pray – Amen.

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Relational Walls “Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all.” Ephesians 4:1-6 The unity of the Spirit - a united spirit or oneness of spirit. This does not refer to the single fact that there is one Holy Spirit; but it also refers to unity of affection, of confidence, of love that is to exist between all Bridal members of Christ (Christians). It means that Christians should be united in mind and affection, and not be split up into groups and doctrinal factions. It may be implied here, as is undoubtedly true, that such a unity would only be possible by and through the Holy Spirit; and that, as there is but one Spirit which united our hearts back to God, we certainly ought to have the same goal for each other. There is always danger of division where people are brought together in a particular society. There are so many different views of God by way of intellect and feeling; the modes of education, training and personal interpretation assist us in the constant danger of division. Satan has used these tools of the tree of knowledge for many generations to bring about relational walls to separate the Body of Christ. Pray against them!

PRAYER Dear Lord Jesus, I believe and know that relationships are for the divine purpose of reveling Your message of Truth to those that You bring into our lives. I stand before Your throne boldly. I appropriate the power and authority that You have given me as a Child of God. I am a lover of Your Truth and Righteousness and it is because of that love that I pull down the walls, relationships, and barriers that Satan and his kingdom are building between _________ (person you are struggling with) and me. I pray Lord that You would demolish all the destructive strongholds the kingdom of darkness has been able to erect between us. I ask my Lord for You to unleash the mighty power of the loving Heavenly Father on our relationship to make it all You want it to be. I ask that the Holy Spirit to put within __________ and me Your fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. By the faith You have given me by Your own measurement, I pray the healing power of the True and Living Word to break down all strongholds our relationship that rise up against Your hand. I ask for healing in our relationship and if you lead me to seek their forgiveness for anything I have done to hurt them – make me willing. I ask all this in Your mighty name – Amen.

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ADULTERY “You have heard that it was said, 'YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY'; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5: 27-28

PRAYER My dear Abba Father, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I desire to walk after the Spirit in my daily living. I recognize that the sin of adultery is a direct assault against Your will for my life. I acknowledge before You that every thought and action of adultery that I, or my ancestors, have ever committed is sin. I accept Your unmerited favor and forgiveness that You offer me through the blood of Jesus Christ. I recognize that it is only Your Son, through the indwelling Holy Spirit, that can give me the power to fight off these thoughts and temptations. I desire the Holy Spirit to bring all of the work of the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus into my mind today. Enable me to respond to Your prompting and voice to guard my eyes and mind from looking at others for the fulfillment of my sexual pleasures. I align my mind with Your doctrines for the true purpose of sexual fulfillment – contained for the ordained institution of marriage. I entrust my victory over this fleshly desire today completely into the hands of the Holy Spirit as I choose to let Him take full control of my mind. It is in the blessed name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.

Key Note: If you have committed physical adultery with the opposite sex or same sex, you need to seek their forgiveness whenever possible. When you do this, take with you a brother who is strong in their walk with Christ. Do not go alone! It is critical that you do not associate with this person again. If they are a relative or a person who cannot be avoided, do not – I repeat, do not -- be alone with them at any time.

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FORNICATION “That you abstain from things sacrificed to idols and from blood and from things strangled and from fornication; if you keep yourselves free from such things, you will do well." Acts 15:29 NASB

PRAYER My dear Abba Father, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I desire to walk after the Spirit in my daily living. I recognize that the sin of fornication is a direct assault against Your will for my life. I acknowledge before You that every immoral thought and action that I, or my ancestors, have ever committed is sin. I accept Your unmerited favor and forgiveness through the blood of Jesus Christ. I recognize that it is only Your Son, through the indwelling Holy Spirit, that can fulfill my “feelings” of sexual fulfillment. I desire the Holy Spirit to bring all of the work of the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus into my mind today. Enable me to respond to Your prompting and voice to guard my eyes and mind from looking at others for the fulfillment of my sexual pleasures. I align my mind with Your doctrines for the true purpose of sexual fulfillment – contained for the ordained institution of marriage. I entrust my victory over this fleshly desire today completely into the hands of the Holy Spirit as I choose to let Him take full control of my mind and body. It is in the blessed name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.

ENCOURAGEMENT God challenges us to flee sexual immorality and cleave to Christ, honoring Him with the physical body. Fornication is a result of the sinful fleshly trash the “old nature” left behind (Galatians 5:19), and unsuitable for God’s children (Ephesians 5:3). Christ has the ability and power to provide you with all the intimacy you need to “feel” sexually fulfilled. This prayer will help you appropriate this truth.

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SENSUALITY "For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, and adulteries, deeds of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, lasciviousness {sensuality}, envy, slander, pride and foolishness. All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man.” Mark 7:21-23

PRAYER Abba Father, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ I desire to walk after the Spirit in my daily living. I recognize that the sins of seductive behavior are a direct assault against Your will for my life. I acknowledge before You that every act of seduction I have had or my ancestors have had is sin. I accept Your unmerited favor and forgiveness through the blood of Jesus Christ. I recognize that Your Son, through the indwelling Holy Spirit, is the only One who can cause me to act in such a way that is honorable to You. I desire the Holy Spirit to bring all of the work of the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus into my mind today. Enable me to respond to Your prompting and voice to guard the way I dress, speak, laugh, smile and gesture. I ask that you cause me to be modest in all things. Remind me that I am not to draw attention to myself. Today I entrust my victory over these seductive ways completely into the hands of the Holy Spirit as I choose to let Him take full control of my mind and body. It is in the blessed name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen

ENCOURAGEMENT God gives you the gift of sexual pleasure for the sole purpose of man and woman complementing each other in marriage as “one flesh”. God expects us to maintain self-control in all things, not by our own efforts but through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit that lives within us. You have no power to control the sensual urges that reside in your flesh. Only God can control these thoughts and feelings. We need to call for God’s redemptive power to deliver us from Satan’s trap of sensual seductions.

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Prayer for Marriages “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Hebrews 13:4 The enemy attacks marriages in order to destroy the order of the marriage of the Lamb. By standing in the power of God’s doctrines in preserving marriage – you are standing in the everlasting covenant of Christ’s marriage with the Church.

PRAYER In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the power of His blood, I pull down the walls, relationships, and barriers that Satan and his kingdom are building between _______ (husband) and __________ (wife). I ask that You Lord demolish all the destructive strongholds the kingdom of darkness has been able to erect in their marriage. I ask You to unleash the mighty power of the loving Heavenly Father on their relationship to make it all You want it to be. I ask the Holy Spirit to put within __________, as head of his home, the fruit of the Spirit, which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. By faith, I pray the healing power of the true and living God on any damage the enemy may have caused their marriage. I claim with and for them the victory You offer us through the power of the cross. It is in the name of Jesus I pray—Amen.

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Children & Sexual Perversions " By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.” 1 John 4:17-18 There is no fear in love - Love is not an affection which produces fear. In the love which we have for a parent, a child, a friend, there is no fear. If a man had perfect love to God, he would have no fear of anything - for what would he have to dread? He would have no fear of death, illness or any other thing that tempts us to doubt God’s everlasting purpose of love.

PRAYER Dear God I thank You for Your perfect and Holy purpose for sexual desires. I pray in the name of Jesus against the perversion and misuse of You gift of sexuality. Any form of perversions my child(ren) may be involved with I acknowledge as sin. Through the words You put in my mouth, grant me the wisdom to convey to my child(ren) Biblical values concerning their sexuality. In the name of Jesus and by the power of His shed blood, I resist and stand against all strongholds of sexual perversion the adversary has assigned to manipulate and rule over ____________’s sexuality. I specifically resist strongholds of _________ (list specific tendencies you are aware of). I ask that You command the enemy from having access to my child(ren) in this area. I pray that You give my child(ren) the pure desire of purity and a willingness to save their body for Righteousness. I humbly ask for protection over them, me and others they may come in contact with. I stand willing to be Your vessel in Your name – Amen.

These prayers were taken from: The Book of Prayers – Praying Doctrinally By Stephen R. Phinney Order your copy today! www.iomamerica.org (see “Dr. Phinney’s Books) If our Lord leads you, consider donating to our tax-deductible ministry: DONATE NOW: IOM AMERICA

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Sexual Temptations of Man  

A 12 week study workbook assisting men to be free from the sexual temptations of man.

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