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FEBRUARY 2017

I AM COSMOPOLITAN

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FEBRUARY 2017

The o kout e e yone s g t

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g sec et addiction

THE No.1 WOMEN’S GLOSSY MAGAZINE

O O CO SU D B th By those

MEET THE OST C O O R*

who've ho' e do e it done

HAVE YOU GOT VEGAN WRINKLES? What extreme diets are doing to our faces 02

EXCLUSIVE

Emma Willis TOOK US HOME AND GOT US NAKED

9 770141 055283 WWW.COSMOPOLITAN.CO.UK

*And find out how you can be one


Contents UARY 2016

COVER PHOTOGRAPH MATTHEW EADES. FASHION DIRECTOR AMY BANNERMAN. HAIR LOUIS BYRNE AT THE LONDON STYLE AGENCY, USING GHD PLATINUM STYLER AND GHDHAIR.COM. MAKE-UP AMANDA BOWEN, USING BURBERRY BEAUTY. NAILS MICHELLE HUMPHREY AT LMC WORLDWIDE. FASHION ASSISTANT MADDY ALFORD. EMMA WEARS, NEWSSTAND COVER: SHIRT, £715, MONSE. JEANS, £25, ROKIT. JEWELLERY, ALL EMMA’S OWN. SUBSCRIBER COVER: DRESS, £55, V BY VERY.CO.UK. THIS PAGE: DRESS, £350, HOUSE OF HOLLAND. EARRINGS, £225, SHOUROUK

✱ On the cover

28 EMMA WILLIS Took us home and got us naked 58 HAVE YOU GOT VEGAN WRINKLES? What extreme diets are doing to our faces 66 HOW TO BECOME A SUPER BRAND By those who’ve done it 72 UNDO THE DAMAGE The workout everyone is talking about 80 ‘I JUST CAN’T STOP MYSELF’ One magazine editor’s secret addiction 94 MEET THE MOST FANCIED PEOPLE ON TINDER And find out how you can be one

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A round of applause for S/S 17’s new looks

✱ Know 13 GET YOUR TECH ON Why this year’s hottest festivals are all about the technology and not so much the tents 15 HOT RIGHT NOW! Beauty buys to fall in love with 16 TRY THE TREND Power pouts get some major lip service 19 WELL, HELLO THERE… Shouty beefcake Joe Wicks 20 CONFESSIONS Features bed-wetting and Mary Poppins porn. Business as usual, then 22 HELLO TO 2017 Presenting your new-year menu of film, TV and music 24 OSCAR CRIB SHEET Skipped all those highbrow films and went to see Office Christmas Party instead? We’re here to help 27 THE COMPASS The month’s cultural ups and downs C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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Contents

102

How to get curls that feel this good

28

The only celebrity who ever made us dinner

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Meet our new fashion sweethearts

39 OBJECT OF DESIRE Why we’ve got heart eyes for these… er… heart eyes 40 SWEAT IT OUT Rule the running machine in the hottest workout gear 48 HEY, HOW DO I WEAR… Underwear as outerwear? Grab your best grundies and read on 50 THE JEANIUS Double denim that’s cool, not Clarkson 52 UNDER WRAPS The big news when it comes to smalls

✱ Glow 57 OUT OF THIS WORLD Why a konjac sponge needs to be in your beauty orbit 62 BEAUTY LAB So just how essential are ‘essential essences’? 63 INGE HAS ISSUES It’s time to get your name down for members-only make-up

69 SELF MADE A career clinic from Robyn Exton, founder of dating app Her

✱ Move 71 TRY THE HALFTOX Because isn’t dry January just a touch too drastic? 76 SUPER BOWLS Healthy meals too powerful for plates 79 OLD SKOOL The ’90s called to let you know their sportswear is still awesome

✱ Read 88 MEET THE MOST POWERFUL WOMAN IN FITNESS Shredded, successful and nice – why Kayla Itsines is killing it 102 CURLS ALLOWED From cool kinks to power ringlets, here’s how to work your waves 110 CAN YOU KICK IT? Yes, you can, in S/S 17’s new looks

✱ Earn

✱ Lust

65 HOME ALONE How to win when it comes to WFH

121 MORNING GLORY Why a rude awakening is good for you

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122 MY BEST WORST SEX EVER WAS… when his penis broke. Bringing new meaning to the word ‘ouch’ 123 WORST DATES EVER Read these; feel better about your own life 124 FIRST LOVE Is the magic still there for Mitch and Georgia?

✱ Play 127 PURPLE REIGN Mauve over, avocado. Meet the new Insta food star 129 DESIGN DOUBLES Don’t lose your marbles over these buys 130 WHAT’S YOUR SPA GOAL? Want to carve out some abs or just calm your mind? We’ve found the best breaks

✱ And the rest… 8 MEET TEAM COSMOPOLITAN 9 FROM THE EDITOR 136 BEHIND THE SCENES AT COSMOPOLITAN’S INFLUENCER AWARDS 146 COSMOPOLITAN CONTRACT The gym changing room

PHOTOGRAPHS DENNIS PEDERSEN, ELISABETH HOFF, MATTHEW EADES

✱ Wear


RANDOM QUESTION OF THE MONTH Tell us a secret about your body…

FARRAH STORR Editor PA to the Editor JESSICA BROWNING Deputy Editor SHOSHANA GOLDBERG Creative Director STUART SELNER

FEATU R ES Features Director AMY GRIER Senior Editor CATRIONA INNES Junior Writer JENNIFER SAVIN Features Intern JOSIE COPSON

I have a scar in the shape of a lightning bolt on my leg (not a wizard, just fell down a ditch in Greece).

ENT ER TA I N MEN T Entertainment Director LOTTIE LUMSDEN

DESI GN

My y hair g grow ws tw wo completely different colours – the majority is blonde, but it s orange at the front. it’s

Art Director VICTORIA HORN Senior Designer HARRY WINFIELD Junior Designer JESSICA LOCKETT

PI CTU R ES Picture Director CAT COSTELLOE

GRO UP E D ITOR I A L PR ODU CTI ON

I ha ave size 9 feet – my dad wou uld say you’d spot them t coming oming round a corner corn before the rest of me.

Workflow Director CATHY LEVY Chief Sub-Editor HANNAH JONES Deputy Chief Sub-Editor SAMANTHA DE HAAS Senior Sub-Editor FRANCESCA COTTON

B EAU TY Beauty Director INGEBORG VAN LOTRINGEN Beauty Editor CASSIE POWNEY (maternity) Acting Beauty Editor BECCI VALLIS Beauty Writer LUCY PARTINGTON

I have a birthmark on my inner thigh the shape (and size) of France. That’s chic, right?

FASHI ON Fashion Director AMY BANNERMAN Senior Fashion Editor SAIREY STEMP Bookings Editor KIAAN ORANGE Fashion Assistant MADDY ALFORD

COS M OPOLI TA N .CO.U K

I’m knock-kneed and it makes certain trousers look really weird on me. I hate it!

Digital Editor CLAIRE HODGSON Fashion Editor JESS EDWARDS News & Entertainment Editor ANNA LEWIS Beauty Editor BRIDGET MARCH (maternity) Acting Beauty Editor VICTORIA JOWETT Social Media Manager LAUREN SMITH Writers CATRIONA HARVEY-JENNER, DUSTY BAXTER-WRIGHT Fashion & Beauty Writer LAURA CAPON Social Media Assistant & Writer CHARLOTTE WARWICK Multimedia Producer ALEX HERING Snapchat Animator CHARLOTTE TEMPLE

I can’t roll my tongue, but I can bend it. A bit weird…

CON TR I B U TOR S RORY ROBERTSON (Interiors), AMANDA STATHAM (Travel) Editorial Business Manager MERRICK CASSANOVA

P UBLIS HER

GEORGINA HOLT Brand Development Director ALISTAIR WOOD Brand Director HAYLEY LEWIS (maternity) Business Manager RACHEL PAWSON Group Partnerships Director LAURA CHASE Art Director SIMEEN KARIM Creative Solutions Acting Art Directors DALJIT KAUR BABBER, JOJO MA Partnerships Project Manager ALEXANDER STANHOPE Head of Events and Sponsorship VICTORIA ARCHBOLD Events Manager LEAH LESSER Regional Business Development Director CLARE CROOKES Director of Hearst Magazines Direct CAMERON DUNN Head of Consumer Sales and Marketing MATTHEW BLAIZE-SMITH Group Customer Marketing Manager NATASHA CHAMBERLIN Senior Marketing Executive TILLY MICHELL Head of Marketing Operations JENNIFER SMITH Head of Marketing Promotions CHARLOTTE CUNLIFFE Head of Digital Marketing SEEMA KUMARI PR Manager BEN BOLTON Production Director JOHN HUGHES Production Manager ALICIA GRAY Senior Ad Production Controller PAUL TAYLOR

H EARST M AGAZ INE S U K Managing Director, Brands MICHAEL ROWLEY Chief Revenue Officer DUNCAN CHATER Director of Communications LISA QUINN Chief Financial Officer CLAIRE BLUNT Circulation & Marketing Director REID HOLLAND Chief Operations Director CLARE GORMAN Chief Digital Officer DARREN GOLDSBY HR Director SURINDER SIMMONS

CHI EF EXECU TI VE OFFI CER

ANNA JONES HEA R ST MAGA ZI N ES I N TER N ATI ON A L Senior Vice President/CFO and General Manager SIMON HORNE Senior Vice President/International Publishing Director JEANNETTE CHANG Senior Vice President/Editorial Director KIM ST CLAIR BODDEN Fashion/Entertainment Director KRISTEN INGERSOLL International Editions Editor JACQUELYN GALGEY Editor-in-Chief, Cosmopolitan (1965-1997) HELEN GURLEY BROWN

I N TER N ATI ON A L EDI TI ON S Editor, Argentina MARÍA JOSÉ GRILLO Australia CLAIRE ASKEW Brazil CRISTINA NAUMOVS Bulgaria Chile IGNACIA URIBE China YVONNE LIU Croatia ALEKSANDRA ORLIĆ Czech Republic SABRINA KARASOVA Finland STINA MANTYNIEMI France MARIE LA FONTA Germany ANJA DELASTIK Greece Hong Kong RUQIYAH LAW KAM YING Hungary JOHANNA SABJÁN India NANDINI BHALLA Indonesia FILISYA THUNGGAWAN Italy FRANCESCA DELOGU Kazakhstan AZIZA YESMAGANBETOVA Korea HYUN JOO KIM Latin America Latvia Lithuania VIOLETA KALIKAUSKIENE Malaysia Middle East BROOKE DALLOW Mongolia Netherlands ANNE MARIJE DE VRIES LENTSCH Philippines MYRZA SISON Poland HANNA WOLSKA Portugal SANDRA MAURICIO Romania DIANA COLCER Russia POLINA SOKHRANOVA Serbia NASJA VELJKOVIC Slovenia MANCA ČAMPA PAVLIN South Africa Spain ANA UREÑA Sri Lanka TREVINA ABEYESUNDERE Turkey OZLEM KOTAN Ukraine OLEKSANDRA BURYNSKA USA MICHELE PROMAULAYKO

This magazine can be recycled either through your kerbside collection, or at a local recycling point. Log on to Recyclenow. com and enter your postcode to find your nearest sites. Cosmopolitan is a member of the Independent Press Standards Organisation. We abide by the Editors’ Code of Practice and are committed to upholding the highest standards of journalism. If you think we haven’t met those standards and want to make a complaint, contact complaints@hearst.co.uk or visit hearst.co.uk/hearst-magazines-uk-complaints-procedure. If we are unable to resolve your complaint or you’d like more information about IPSO or the Editors’ Code, call IPSO on 0300 123 2220 or go to ipso.co.uk.

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FIRST WORD

FROM THE EDITOR My Instagram finds Bo Boyfriend leather jjaccket, £699, Me+Em; @m @me_andem ““I sspotted this brand on a friend’s feed. o Cla C assic, cool and my new obsession.”

Painting, about £95, Sally Mackness; @sallymackness “Art doesn’t have to cost the earth – I found this woman’s work using the hashtag #modernart.”

Essential Oil Blends, £25 each for 8ml, Bamford; @bamfordjournal “Every stylish woman I know, in turn, follows thiss lifestyle brand. Its beauty products and cashmere are slowly bankrupting me.”

@farrahstorr “Oh yeah, this is my account. Follow me for all things dogs, style and Cosmopolitan office gossip. This is me with our cover star.”

What would you do if you had no inhibitions? Would you dance in front of strangers in the blinding, sober light of day? Would you start a business and crow about it to the world? Maybe you’d finally get around to asking out that man you see every morning – you know, the one who orders his flat white at 8.17am and lingers by the condiments station just a little too long. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Sure! I’d do all of the above. But who doesn’t have inhibitions?” Well, you don’t – at least not when you’re on The Internet. That’s according to scientists (and I tend not to disagree with them) who have spent years investigating us and, rather more specifically, how we behave in front of our computer screens. Turns out all of us are significantly more disinhibited when sat behind the cloak that technology offers us. It’s the reason we feel OK uploading a Boomerang video of ourselves ‘freestyling’ to the world. It’s the same reason millions of us have launched side businesses on Instagram and Facebook. It’s the reason why we talk in the Twittersphere to people we admire, and right swipe on men and women we hope to fall in love with. Technology, when used correctly, is a gift. It allows us to touch the world. It unshackles us from fear and judgement and instead waits, hand out, to see what we’ve got to offer. It can transform an unconnected ‘no one’ into a bespokely networked someone within hours. It can launch and market a new business within days. It can open your options and your world in a way no career adviser ever could back in my day. So here is my plea: use it. Not as a cesspit in which to publicly pelt others, but as the grandest, vastest opportunity in which to realise your potential. Use it to reach out to someone you’ve always wanted to speak to. Use it to start your career. Use it to share with the world who you are and where you want to be. Do this and believe me… technology will help you get there.

FARRAH STORR S O R Editor dito 4Follow me on Twitter @Farrah_Storr and Instagram @farrahstorr C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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I F I T ’ S H O T A N D H A P P E N I N G , I T ’ S I N H E R E ...

GET YOUR TECH ON

WORDS LOTTIE LUMSDEN. PHOTOGRAPH LEVI BROWN/TRUNK ARCHIVE

Lukewarm cider, flooded Portaloos and some bloke peeing up the side of your tent… If your last music festival included one of the aforementioned, we’re betting you’re in the mood for something altogether more civilised. Introducing the ‘techstival’ – think a TED Talk convention meets Coachella, where the toilets flush, the attendees are sober and the men all come with expensive-looking optical wear. The year’s ultimate hipster music gathering, South By Southwest (March), will also host a tech conference alongside the partying while, closer to home, Liverpool’s Sound City (May) has TED-style talks from music industry bigwigs next to performances from bands. And if you want to get really techy, Brighton’s Great Escape (May) will feature grade-A bands plus panel discussions on the future of the music business. Our keynote speech on the cultural legacy of 5ive is prepped and ready to go. Just waiting for the invite…

C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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Avon Birthstones Nailwear Pro in Pearl, £6 Twelve pretty polishes to match your birthstone – OK, we weren’t born in June but we’re going to rock this shade anyway.

Jo Malone Red Roses Bath Soap, £14 Can’t afford the candles? Invest in a Jo Malone soap to scent your bathroom instead. If you can bear to peel off the packaging, that is.

WORDS LUCY PARTINGTON, BECCI VALLIS. STILL LIFES HEARST STUDIOS. *AVAILABLE FROM 30 JANUARY RY

Guerlain Lip & Cheek Tint, £23.50 It looks a little bit like nail polish, but it’s actually a sheer stain that’ll flatter any skin tone.

MAC Strobe Cream in Redlite, £24.50 Same iridescent finish as the original but now with softly pigmented pearls. Use as a primer or add to your base.

Hot right now! Swipe right for these love-at-first-sight charmers

Bobbi Brown Extra Lip Tint in Bare Pink, £24 Back by popular demand and with two new shades, the bestselling balm changes colour depending on your lips’ natural pH.

Peter Thomas Roth Rose Stem Cell Bio-Repair Gel Mask, £34.50 Soothe wind-whipped skin and patches of rosacea with this luscious mask – like jelly on your face but with zero stickiness.

Annick Goutal Tenue de Soirée, from £80* If this soft, powdery, sexy scent doesn’t make people want to nuzzle up to you, nothing will.

Clarins Multi-Active Eye Revive, £35 Stop eye bags turning into leathery satchels with a formula filled with teasel – a potent plant that ramps up skin cell energy.

Too Faced Papa Don’t Peach Peach-Infused Blush, £25 Remember Pez sweets? This smells identical to them. And it also gives cheeks a warm, wearable, healthy glow – bonus!

Tisserand Rose & Geranium Leaf The Body Wash, £9.95 Don’t let the rosy label put you off; this all-natural gel smells like a spa in a bottle and leaves skin hydrated.

LOVES + 2 01 7 +

When you see beauty products with this logo anywhere, you can be guaranteed they are Cosmopolitan-beautyteam-approved.

Urban Decay Liquid Moondust Eyeshadow in Recharged, £9.95 Exactly how our seven-year-old selves imagined actual moondust would be: ridiculously sparkly and oh-so-pretty.

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POUT STARE-AT SCALE 1/3

This look is ‘post-snog’ and sexy as hell. “It has a romantic, painterly feel,” says MAC senior artist Lesley Keane. With your finger, pat a hefty amount of MAC Retro Matte Liquid Lip Colour in High Drama (£17.50) on the centre of the lip. Then, with an eyeshadow blending brush, buff the colour out until you’ve got an ombré effect from dark berry into a light stain. Amp it up a gear by mixing black kohl liner with black shadow and applying to the middle of your lips with a pencil-shaped brush. Less scary than it sounds, honest.

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DOUBLE TROUBLE STARE-AT SCALE 3/3

Two-tone lips aren’t going anywhere. “It’s beauty with

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1 Sleek Matte Me Lipstick in Rioja Red, £4.99

VAMP IT UP STARE-AT SCALE 1/3

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attitude,” says Mark Carrasquillo, AKA the man behind this bold, don’t-mess-with-me lip. It’s not one for the faint-hearted, so consider this your warning. To recreate it, outline your lips and then, using a lip brush, apply your chosen deep berry shade (Carrasquillo mixed three together to get the perfect colour, but you don’t need to break the bank when just one will do the same job). Leave the centre slightly bare, then

fill in with a punchy red, like Sleek Matte Me Lipstick in Rioja Red (£4.99). Then just own it.

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Dior Rouge Dior Lipstick in Poison, £26

Rimmel Soft Kohl Pencil in Black, £7.99 MAC Retro Matte Lip Colour in High Drama, £17.50

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BLURRED LINES

CREATURES OF THE WIND A/W 16

Thought there was only one way to wear lipstick? Then think again

Lipstick doesn’t get much more rebellious than when it’s almost black. If you’ve come this far, you may as well go the whole shebang and add a gloss, like make-up artist Peter Philips did at Dior. Filling lips with black eyeliner first, to help the plummy pigment from Dior’s Rouge Dior Lipstick in Poison (£26.50) lock into lips, he finished with a layer of crystal-clear gloss for a ‘coloured in with fresh ink’ feel. To avoid a gloopy mess you won’t be able to move your mouth much, but for head-turning results, who cares?

WORDS LUCY PARTINGTON, BECCI VALLIS. PHOTOGRAPHS JASON LLOYD-EVANS. STILL LIFES HEARST STUDIOS

Power

ANTONIO MARRAS A/W 16

TRY THE TREND


WELL, HELLO THERE Joe Wicks

Hair to rival Jon Snow’s, abs as hard as Poldark’s and the cooking skills of Nigella? Bosh!

Running mate “I like to have shared interests. I would date someone who isn’t into exercise, but I find that whoever I’m with tends to get a bit active because I am.”

Mr Lover Lover “My idea of a romantic evening is a bath with candles and Magic FM. Then a nice meal, a film and a cuddle. Mostly, I cook healthy food but I always make naughty desserts, so I’d go for sticky toffee pudding or chocolate fondant.”

HIS VITALS Age 31

You know nothing, Jon Snow…

Home town Epsom, Surrey

WORDS LOTTIE LUMSDEN. PHOTOGRAPH THE SUN/NEWS SYNDICATION

Big break His first book, 2015’s Lean In 15, was the fastest-selling debut cookbook ever.

“People confuse me with Kit Harington. They send me pictures of him on Twitter asking if I’m Jon Snow’s long-lost brother. He’s a good-looking bloke, so I really don’t mind.”

Crazy fact #1 The Instagram star reportedly turns over £1 million a month. We know. Crazy fact #2 Joe hates his feet. He says, “I’ve got funny-shaped toes and everyone calls them hobbit feet.” (Judge for yourself to the right…) ✱ Joe’s fitness DVD Joe Wicks: Lean In 15 is out now (BBC Worldwide, £19.99)

Stood up

Lusciouss lock ocks “My secret is coconut oil. I rub it on my hair before bed. I wake up and it’s all shiny! It’s good for dry skin and cooking, too. I can go through a couple of jars a day!”

“The worst date I’ve ever been on was when I was 16. I was meant to meet a girl at the cinema to watch Small Soldiers but she never showed up. I felt really upset but saw the film anyway – then ran home.”

C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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Because sometimes life is stranger than fiction

MARILYN I once had a job MOMENT at a fancy restaurant in Sydney. While taking some food to our terrace area, a gust of wind blew my skirt up, revealing my underwear to the entire place. It wasn’t a very Marilyn Monroe moment – more like a granny on laundry day, sadly. LUCY, 28, MANAGER, LINCOLNSHIRE

FEELING WET, WET, WET I was late for a meeting, so was cycling fast on a hot day. I made it, but when I looked in a mirror, the back of my blouse was dark grey with sweat. I had to wait outside the room until everyone was in, and left last so they only saw my front. NATASHA, 29, MARKETING AGENCY FOUNDER, MANCHESTER

SUMMER GLOW I was on my way to a job interview and the Tube ride over made my make-up melt. So I nipped into Boots and applied some of their sample foundation. It wasn’t until I clocked myself in the mirror afterwards that I realised I must have applied instant tan. I didn’t get the job. LOUISE, 25, ONLINE CLAIMS ASSESSOR, BRIGHTON

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BUBBLE TROUBLE

I was entrusted with babysitting my little cousin for the first time last month. All was going well until bath time; when I turned away, he dipped his bottle in the bubblebath water, then spent all night doing these weird hiccup-burps. Thank God he can’t speak yet, so his parents will never know. TOBI, 25, BARTENDER, LONDON


AS CONFESSED TO JOSIE COPSON. PHOTOGRAPHS ANTONIO PETRONZIO. HAIR AND MAKE-UP EMILY-JANE WILLIAMS. WITH THANKS TO THE HOXTON (THEHOXTON.COM)

WET My now-exDREAMS boyfriend and I ordered a pizza delivery, but all the salt made me really thirsty, so I downed pints of water right before bed. At around 6am, I realised I was wetting myself. I was trying to think how to explain what had happened but I couldn’t stop laughing. He woke up to see what all the commotion was about and put his hand right in the wet patch. KATIE, 22, MAKE-UP ARTIST, MINORCA

NOT A HAPPY ENDING

WHEN I WAS 14, I ACCIDENTALLY TAPED OVER MY MUM’S MARY POPPINS VIDEO WITH SOME PORN. THEN, ABOUT A WEEK LATER, SHE SAT DOWN WITH A CUPPA, ALL READY TO WATCH HER FAVOURITE FILM. I NEVER DID GET TO ENJOY MY RECORDING… LEWIS, 24, ACTOR, LONDON

HAIRY MOVIE

THE NIGHT BEFORE I WENT ON CBBC’S 50/50 GAME SHOW, AGED 11, I CUT MYSELF A NEW FRINGE. IT LOOKED LIKE I’D GLUED A BROOM TO MY FOREHEAD. REBECCA, 25, MARKETING COORDINATOR, LONDON

SLIDING DOORS I was peeing in a train toilet when everyone’s worst nightmare happened – the door had some sort of malfunction and slid open. I was mid-stream, and the close button was on the other side of the loo, so I couldn’t even leap up to shut the door. I just had to stare, horrified, at a full carriage of people trying not to laugh. LUCY, 24, SHOP ASSISTANT, BRISTOL C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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Hello to 2017

The good, the bad and the ugly (that’ll be Gaga at Glastonbury if she resurrects that meat dress) – here’s what you can expect from the entertainment world this year

HIGHBROW

Beware The Slenderman 2017’s Making A Murderer. But should a do documentary about a 12-year-old 1 killed by two classmates by really be entertainment?

T2: Trainspotting Twenty years later, Trainspotting gets a sequel. Choose life. Choose a job. Choose to still have a crush on Ewan McGregor.

Gaga at Glastonbury Not confirmed, but heavily rumoured. So what will she wear and can she (or anyone) beat Adele’s 2016 set?

Wonder Woman America didn’t get a female president (*heavy sigh*), so we’ll have to make do with a fictional fem e female superhero.

The Big Family Cooking Challenge The BBC’s attempt to fill The Great British Bake Off hole. e. e. Mary Berry is tipped to be on board. If so, we might just be OK..

Let It Shine A TV talent show to find the stars of a Take That musical, with Dannii Minogue and Gary Barlow as judges. We really want this to work.

Good Me, Bad Me The new Girl On The Train, which was the new Gone Girl… You get the picture. This psycho-thriller by Ali Land is set to be massive.

Harry Styles’ acting debut He’s in movie Dunkirk this summer – but will his acting be as watchable as his nonchalant hair flick?

JURY’S OUT

Bros are back The Goss twins (remember them?) return, less blonde and more Botoxed for summer shows att London London’ss O O2.

Fifty Shades Darker More whips, masks and glimpses of Jamie Dornan’s naked flesh in time for Valentine’s Day. As for the storyline…

LOWBROW BROW 22

Diana: Her Fashion Story An exhibition of Princess Di’s style. Pie-crust collars at the ready.

GET G IN LINEE

Lorde Everyone’s favourite New Zealand pop pixie finally releases her second album in early 2017. Thank goodness for that.

Hamilton Lin-Manuel Miranda’s musical phenomenon, the hip-hop story of America’s founding father, comes to the UK in autumn. Form an orderly queue.

Baywatch the movie Pammy and Hasselhoff only have cameos? How will this ever work? Oh OK, a super-buff Zac Efron is in it…

WORDS CLARE THORP. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, HBO/EVERETT/REX/SHUTTERSTOCK, NEW YORK TIMES/REDUX/EYEVINE, UNIVERSAL/PLANET PHOTOS, MAID/VP/LMKMEDIA

Twin Peaks The cult ’90s TV show gets a Netflix revamp starring Amanda Seyfried to satisfy our Stanger-Thingsn shaped, small-town supernatural needs.

Raye This 18-year-old R&B singer, songwriter and BRIT School alumni wants to take over the world. Don’t Don t bet be against it.


Oscar crib sheet T H E Q U IR K Y O N E LA LA LAND (In cinemas 13th January) What? Ryan Gosling (OK, we’re sold) and Emma Stone star in this adorable contemporary-LA musical from Whiplash director Damien Chazelle.

T H E H E AV Y W E IG H T MOONLIGHT (In cinemas 17th February) What? A critically acclaimed three-part film about a gay African-American boy – aged nine, then 16, and finally, in his twenties – growing up in Miami during its war-on-

Essential trivia Emma Watson turn ned down Stone’s role for B Beauty And The Beast. Gosling, meanwhile, passed on the role of The Beast for La La Land. Blag it “Chazelle wrote this six years ago but couldn’t get it financed until Whiplash made him a hot name.” Why it should win When Gosling and Stone float into the stars while dancing inside LA’s Griffith Observatory, the film really takes Best flight. Oh, and Picture the final scene ODDS will break your heart.

2/1

drugs period in the ’80s. Trivia “Naomie Harris had vowed to never play a crack addict, but was persuaded by the director to take on the role of the boy’s mother.” Blag it “Given the sheer intensity of the scenes, it’s hard to believe that this entire film was shot over just 25 days. Madness!” Why it should win With a 99/100 score on reviews website Metacritic, Best this is the most Picture highly rated of any ODDS film in the awards race this year.

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T H E T E A R-J E R K E R MANCHESTER BY THE SEA

(In cinemas 13th January) What? Casey Affleck wows in a drama about an emotionally numb man who has to care for his teenage nephew.

T H E B IO P IC JACKIE (In cinemas 20th January) What? As widow Jackie Kennedy (Natalie Portman) prepares for the funeral of her assassinated husband, President JFK, she is interviewed by a journalist.

Oscar nominations are announced on 24th January

Essential trivia Matt Damon originally commissioned this script as his own directing project, but then insisted only Kenneth Lonergan (who co-wrote Gangs Of New York) could do it justice. Blag it “Do you think Ben Affleck has given his brother any tips for his Oscar acceptance speech?” Why it should win The film hits peak emotion in a scene where Best Affleck’s character Picture runs into his ODDS ex-wife (Michelle Williams).

8/1

Essential trivia Black Swan’s Darren Aronofsky was set to direct his then partner Rachel Weisz in this, but both dropped out when they split up in 2010. Blag it “Natalie Portman’s imitation of Jackie O’s strange, affected mid-Atlantic accent is completely mesmerising.” Why it should win It’s an intimate character study featuring Best a meticulous Picture central ODDS performance from Portman.

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OTHER BUZZ FILMS TO LOOOK OUT OU FOR... O . LOVING

SILENCE

LION

(In cinemas 3rd February)

(In cinemas now)

(In cinemas 20th Janu uary)

Drama about a 1950s couple facing prison for their inter-racial marriage.

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Martin Scorsese directs Andre ew Garfield and Adam Driver as two Jesu uit p priests despatched to locate their mentor m (Liam Neeson) in inhospita able 17th-century Japan.

Dev Patel and Nico ole Kidman star in the true sto ory of a lost Indian boy y who, a after being adopted, uses Go oogle Earth to o find his birth mother.

WORDS CHARLES GANT. PHOTOGRAPHS LIONSGATE/DALE ROBINETTE, STUDIOCANAL/CLAIRE FOLGER, ENTERTAINMENT ONE/STEPHANIE BRANCHU, ALTITUDE FILM ENTERTAINMENT/DAVID BORNFRIEND, MOVIESTORE/REX/SHUTTERSTOCK, ENTERTAINMENT FILM DISTRIBUTORS/MARK ROGERS. ODDS ACCORDING TO LADBROKES AT TIME OF GOING TO PRESS

It’s time to have an opinion on the most hyped films of the year – you know know, without actually havingg seen them


The

Compass

SOUND BITESS We’ve got your new w commute listen: Speech Debeelle’s The Work p Brunch Faamous guests unch podcast*. d ttalk earlyy food meemories and get w a wooden g probed b d (not with spoon) about what fuels them. p

ALL ABOUT YVES

M C RODENT BURGERS T of the menu in Moscow Top riight now is rat. Yes, Krasnodar Bistro B is serving burgers and ho hotdogs made from coypu, a river rat. Tastes like porky ch arently. We’ll We ll pass pass. hicken apparently

UNDERWORLD: BLOOD WAARSS

Surely four films is enough? Th his month, Kate Beckinsale reprisess her role as werewolf-killing vampirre Selene. What’s more, there’s a ssixth film on the way. Making Twilight ght look Oscar worthy since 2003.

POS OSHESTT OF O POLISH O SH

HAND JOBS

Iff you y u can’t have a pair of his heells, you can darn well bag h on one of Louboutin’s mini bo ottles of metallic epicness, at £366 a pop. Polishes to perv on? W o Want. All. Three.

Who can get through life with jewellery strapped from their wrists to their fingertips? Washing up? Getting your eah. That’ll That ll tights on? Oh yeah n… be Rihanna, then

FIRST DATES REBOOTED

Fred and the herd head to the South of France for First Dates Hotel, where new love matches are sent on a make-or-break holiday. So will Fred be arranging breakfast in bed?

ALL GLO’D UP You know, k when someone grow g ws up and blossoms from S et But No Way to Yes Way, Swee E y Day. Prime examples Every i lude Justin Bieber and inclu M thew Lewis. Matt

TALKING VIBRATORS

Sinking our ship

WORDS LOTTIE LUMSDEN. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, 2016 CTMG, INC/SONY PICTURES ENTERTAINMENT INC. *THE WORK BRUNCH LAUNCHES 8TH JANUARY, AVAILABLE ON ITUNES, SOUNDCLOUD AND SPOTIFY

Shiny new creative director A Anthony h Vaccarello is putting the ‘Y’ baack k in YSL (the label switched to ‘Saaint Laurent’ in 2012) and sex on the runway. Mean tailoring in blaack, k, thi h hi h and bodyccon all star. s thigh-highs

Floating our boat

Pointing you in the right ultural direction this month…

Bedtime reading just got sinister. The Vibease helps you y ‘relieve’ yourself while it reaads out erotic fiction. Linked to o an app with more than 500 sau d ucy audio books, it will pulse at key moments. m h. Eesh.

REED-WINE BATHING Cle leopatra bathed in milk, but b t now at Japan’s Yunessun S a Resort you can douse Spa urself in wine, green tea you a d, erm, ramen. We’ll stick and t S Soap & Glory, thanks. to

C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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‘THINGS LIKE THIS DON’T HAPPEN TO PEOPLE She’s funny, she’s smart – and chances are your partner’s a little bit in love with her. Cosmopolitan falls for the Emma Willis effect i Words LOT TIE LU MSD E N

Phot og raphs MAT THEW E AD E S

28


d

uring my 12-year career as an entertainment journalist, no celebrity has ever made me dinner. There was the time X Factor’s Leon Jackson made me a cup of tea with the electric kettle in his hotel room. And last summer I got a carton of Vita Coco round at Rita Ora’s house but, by and large, celebrities don’t do their own hospitality.

So, as Emma Willis pops a plate of homemade chilli con carne in front of me (“Do you want rice or a jacket potato on the side?”), I’m floored. A long wooden table runs down the length of her open-plan kitchen and in the background there is the lovely tinkle of family life. Her mum potters about the kitchen, husband Matt is running around looking for his guitar strap, the children (there are three, all under seven years old) scamper underfoot and even Emma’s PT has joined us for dinner. This is the end of an eight-hour day I’ve spent with Emma, one that began at 12 noon as she popped on her

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· C O S M O P O L I TA N

‘I almost jacked it all in’

headphones and pre-recorded her Heart Sunday Morning Breakfast radio show with Stephen Mulhern. After that, we hot-footed it to the other side of town where there were voice-overs to be done for the new series of The Voice before heading to rural Hertfordshire, which the family have called home for the past two years. Once here, we did a workout in her garage. I even had a shower in her upstairs bathroom afterwards. That’s another first – celebrities don’t normally invite you to lather up either.

The home, by the way, is rather spectacular. It’s a two-storey modern masterpiece with all the celebrity accoutrements you would expect: an electronic gate, a large gravel drive, views out to undulating fields beyond and a short drive to Elstree Studios where Emma films Big Brother twice a year. But then Emma is a big name now. As well as Big Brother, she’s back on screens with a sixth series of The Voice, now on ITV (this year with new judges Jennifer Hudson and Gavin Rossdale, as well as the returning


PREVIOUS SPREAD: SHIRT, £290, EQUIPMENT AT NET-A-PORTER.COM. JEANS, £25, ROKIT. RINGS, EMMA’S OWN. THIS PAGE: DRESS, £365; BELT £100, BOTH SEE BY CHLOE

CELEBRITY

Will.i.am and Tom Jones). Later this year, she’ll also present The Voice Kids. “Matt and I are always like, ‘Can you believe this is our life?’” she says as we settle down after dinner with cups of tea and After Eights (“There are only 70 calories in two!” she discloses). “‘Can you believe this is our house? Fucking hell.’ I think we say it every week. I keep thinking soon somebody’s going to twig that I shouldn’t be having this career,” she laughs. You see, Emma was never meant to be a TV presenter – she was actually

meant to be a nurse. “I was always going to do that because that’s what my mum did,” she says of her childhood in Sutton Coldfield. “When I was growing up, things like the media and entertainment happened to other people, not to people like us. It was never in my orbit that it could be a possibility. So I went with nursing because hospitals fascinated me and my mum always smelt of them. I love the body and blood.” But at 17, she was signed by Models 1 agency in London. It was too good

an opportunity to pass up. So she cashed in a £2,000 premium bond her great aunt had opened for her and moved down for the summer holidays. She never went back. Her first job was a commercial for Aapri, a line of exfoliation products. “Another time, I was sent on a catalogue shoot to Germany,” she says. “I was only a teenager and when I got there I discovered it was for a shower cubicle advert and they expected me to be shot wearing just a G-string.” She whispers, “I went, ‘You can get fucked’.” Emma’s mum, who is making a cup of tea in the kitchen, chimes in, “I remember an agency in Australia telling you that you were too fat for a shoot. You were so tiny – you must have been a size six then.” Emma adds,“They told me that I needed to slim down the puppy fat. I remember calling Mum and crying.” But in 2002, after nearly 10 years in the modelling industry (including a three-year stint in New York), Emma started to consider a career change. “I’d been thinking for a year that I needed to start looking for something else – after all, you can’t model forever. I wanted to do something that would give me the same freedom I had with modelling, and that’s very difficult to find. So I thought, ‘Oh telly, what’s that about then?’ I didn’t do anything, then one day, my agent called to say a casting director had asked me to go into MTV as they were looking for a batch of new presenters because Cat Deeley and some others had just left.” She got the job, first presenting MTV UK and then MTV Total Request Live (TRL), where she met Matt, then at the height of his fame in boy band Busted. (If you search on YouTube, there’s a video from 2004, the year they got together, of a baby-faced Emma, then 28, interviewing a 21-year-old Matt on MTV TRL.) “I remember seeing him at MTV. He had so much make-up on and i C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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CELEBRITY

I thought, ‘Under all that is a really good-looking boy.’” Sparks finally flew when they both found themselves out in Miami for work in 2004. “We got on brilliantly and he was a lot of fun,” she says. When they returned to London, she asked Blue’s Simon Webbe to give Matt her number and, a few days later, he called. “I tracked him down,” she says, beaming. “We went on a few dates and that was it.” But in 2005 her MTV stint came to an abrupt end. “They didn’t renew my contract,” she says. “It knocked me.” And for the next five years, she struggled to get regular work. “I didn’t really do much. Even when Matt and I were signed to present I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here… NOW! in 2007, I thought it was just because I was his girlfriend (he won the show in 2006). It was paranoia. I thought about jacking it all in. I wasn’t working and I wasn’t earning. Matt and I had been together for a couple of years and I didn’t want to have to rely on him. He was helping me out. It festers in your head and you get all negative. But Matt just told me to keep going.” He was right. In 2013, the Big Brother gig came up after Brian Dowling was axed. But it was a long time in the works. A self-confessed “superfan” of the show, Emma had engineered her way in, first as a guest presenter on Big Brother’s Big Mouth, then as the presenter of the spin-off show before taking the main prize. “Suddenly, I knew I could do it,” she says. “I knew it so well because I’m a fan. I lived and breathed Big Brother as a viewer, so I knew I could do it as a presenter. And when you’re confident, you do a good job.” The same year, she also landed The Voice on BBC One. “I didn’t audition,” she says. “When my agent called to tell me I’d been offered it, I was like, ‘What? Are you sure they’ve got the right Emma? Did they mean Emma Forbes because I’ve never even met them?’” It was the same time Emma’s career had floundered after MTV that her

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‘Not knowing if he’d come home was the worst thing’

husband, Matt, started to struggle with a well-documented addiction to alcohol and weed. I ask her what the hardest moments of that time were. “The unknown,” she says. She’s quiet for a few seconds before adding, “Not knowing whether he could do it. And not knowing if he’d come home. That was the worst thing. I always thought that there would be a pretty horrific phone call, but thankfully there wasn’t... it’s taught him who’s boss,” she says. “It’s just another layer of something you go through. Lots of people don’t have that layer, but we have. The only thing I can compare it to is Matt


SHIRT, £715, MONSE. JEANS, AS BEFORE JEWELLERY, ALL EMMA’S OWN

saying that the minute he saw me give birth, it changed everything. It’s just a whole different level of respect. It’s knowing how much strength they have to be able to do that. When you see somebody so sick and then curing themselves, it’s mind-blowing. If you can crack that, you can crack anything. Hopefully, we won’t have to face anything worse. To see them together is to see two people very much in love but also to witness the strength that struggle can bring to a relationship. At a recent

Cosmopolitan event, I spied Emma leaving on the stroke of midnight, walking not into a chauffeur-driven car but getting into the passenger seat beside her husband, who had made the hourlong drive to pick up his wife. “We like each other,” she says, shrugging. “We have a lot of fun and neither of us thinks of ourselves as grown-ups. We’re also both workingclass people who are like, ‘Shit, this is good, we’ve done alright.’ He keeps me young and I keep him sensible.” It’s now 9pm, and it’s well past my allotted time with Emma. I ask for

a local cab number but instead she insists on driving me the 10-minute journey to the station. I say goodbye and head out into the cold autumn night. It feels like the end of a day spent with an old friend, which, of course, is strange given I’ve only met her three times. But that’s just who Emma is: open, relatable and still the same girl from Birmingham who moved to London aged 17 and can’t quite believe her luck. As she told me earlier, “This is all lovely but next year it could be gone. It’s best to be realistic. It keeps you on your toes and it keeps you on the ground.” i C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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2017: Presenter, The Voice Kids, ITV, and presenter, The Voice, ITV “The new team had drinks together to meet each other. It felt like starting a new school! Jennifer Hudson and I bonded over having short hair. And it’s great working with Will.i.am again. I still get excited when he calls me “Ems”. You never know whether what he’s said is a question or a statement. He’s one of the most unique people I’ve ever met.” 2016: Presenter, What Would Be Your Miracle?, ITV 2015: Co-presenter with Reggie Yates, Prized Apart, BBC1 “Shows that don’t do well are character-building and I don’t regret any of them. I only do shows that I genuinely believe in. But shows cost money and that is scarce, so a lot of the time you don’t get to make a second series.” 2014-2016: Co-presenter with Marvin Humes, The Voice, BBC “When I got it I thought, ‘Oh God, I’m doing alright.’ And then the next thing I was like, ‘Please renew my contract!’ Doing the live shows was scary at first, I’d look at Marv and go, ‘Please save me!’ But it all worked out in the end.” 2013 onwards: Presenter, Big Brother and Celebrity Big Brother, Channel 5 “Big Brother is the one thing I thank. It gave me confidence because I knew the subject matter. I’d been on Big Brother’s Little Brother as a guest when Dermot O’Leary hosted it and I’d never missed an episode. I’m passionate – perhaps too passionate – about it. You do get criticism for a

show like ike Big Brother. Ever Everybody e ybo ybody dy has io on on on whether wh whether I’m a good an opinion not.” t. presenterr or no 2012 onwards: ds: Co-p Co-presenter C o-pres resenter with hern, Sunday Morning Stephen Mulhern, w,, He Heart art FM Breakfast Show, 2012-2013: Presenter, nter, Girlfr Girlfriends, lfrien iends dss, ITV ITV 2011-2015: Presenterr and later, later,, colat co presenter with Rylan Cl Clark-Nea Clark-Neal, Neal, l, Big de, Channel C Chan hannel nel 5 Brother’s Bit On The Side, 2010: Co-presenter with Geo George Lamb, Big Brother’s Little Brother, r, Channel 4 2007-2008: Co-presenter with Matt Willis, I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! NOW!, ITV2 2003-2005: Presenter, Total Requestt Live, MTV 2002-2003: Presenter, MTV UK “I learned my craft here. There were brilliant people around me and I picked up little things. I remember Davina McCall saying that it’s like university, and that is the perfect way to describe it: you learn a lot and you have a lot of fun.” 1993: Signed by Models 1 “I was with a local agency in Birmingham and they suggested I do some pictures to send to one in London. They said not to hold out hope – I didn’t even like having my picture taken! But they said yes. I moved down and lived with a couple of girls in Fulham. It was all very alien but I didn’t really think about it. I’m quite adaptable.”

E D U C AT I O N John Willmott School, Sutton Coldfield “I hung out with a big group of people – some were loud and naughty, but I was always on the outskirts. I just floated along and did what I had to to get through. I’m not academic, but I was always good with life skills, and surviving.” ◆

HAIR LOUIS BYRNE AT THE LONDON STYLE AGENCY, USING GHD PLATINUM STYLER AND GHDHAIR.COM. MAKE-UP AMANDA BOWEN, USING BURBERRY BEAUTY. FASHION DIRECTOR AMY BANNERMAN. NAILS MICHELLE HUMPHREY AT LMC WORLDWIDE. FASHION ASSISTANT MADDY ALFORD. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS JOHN BAGULEY/CAMERA PRESS, SHUTTERSTOCK

Emma Willis

REFERENCES

AWA R DS

INTERESTS

MY CV

HOME

CELEBRITY


WORDS AMY BANNERMAN. PHOTOGRAPH DENNIS PEDERSEN. ROSE, BLOOMSBURY FLOWERS (BLOOMSBURYFLOWERS.CO.UK)

SOMETIMES IT’S WHAT’S ON THE OUTSID E THAT COUNTS

OBJECT OF DESIRE Cold weather calls for different kinds of shades. Those aviators you’ve been wearing all summer? They just won’t cut it when the world around you is cold, miserable and skint. Instead, you need something that’s going to make people smile. And maybe fall a little bit in love with you, which is where these cuties (which, thankfully, suit all face shapes) can oblige. We heart. Sunglasses, £180, Linda Farrow x Markus Lupfer

C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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Sweat it

out Metallic jacket, £129.95; black jacket, £79.95; shorts, £47.95; leggings, £62.95; trainers, £169.95, all Stella McCartney

Half the battle of getting to the gym is deciding what to wear once you’re there. Allow us to inspire you Senior fashion editor SAIREY STEMP Photographs DANIEL NADEL


Leggings, £69, Pepper & Mayne

Jacket, £45, Asos.com Sunglasses, £30, See Concept

Bottle, £42, S’well at Thesports edit.com

SHOP ME NOW Rucksack, £39.99, Mi-Pac

Trainers, £115, New Balance Shorts, £130, No Kai’Oi at Avenue32.com

Run, baby, run Water-bottle belt, £34.96, Adidas by Stella McCartney

Winter calls for multiple layers and zero excuses. Running not your thing? Opt for ’80s-style power walking. It’s back, seriously

Top, £20, Next

Pssst… Too cold to start your run in just a tee? Stella McCartney’s metallic jacket (far left) can be peeled off and worn like a rucksack as soon as you get your sweat on.

Shorts, £54.95, Adidas by Stella McCartney at Thesportsedit.com

Watch, £110, Baby-G by G-Shock

Gloves, £165, Nike

Leggings, £70, Icebreaker

Visor, £17.95, Adidas by Stella McCartney

Bumbag, £30, Eastpak

Bralet, £25, Marks & Spencer

Trainers, £120, Asics at Thesportsedit.com

Sunglasses, £179, Ray-Ban C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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Fitness tracker, £129.99, TomTom m at John Lewi wis

Bodysuit, £250, Mara Hoffman at Avenue 32.com

Sweatshirt, £52, The Numinous Sliders, £55, Ugg

Towel, £12, Linea at House Of Fraser

Leggings, £75, Varley at Thesports edit.com Exercise ball, £24, Yoga Design Lab

Yoga zen Vest, £95, SukiShufu hufu

Bra, £68, Lululemon

Rock those downward dogs, headstands and warrior poses in kit that makes you feel more well-balanced just looking at it

Bralet, £36.99, Onzie at Zalando.co.uk

Pssst… Caution: slippery when wet. Use liquid chalk (buy at Myprotein.co.uk) to stop your inverted pose turning into a face plant.

oga mat,, Yog 0, B Y £60, Yoga at Thesports edit.com

Vest, £40, Beyond Yoga X Kate Spade New York

Unitard, £70, Pepper & Mayne

Necklace, £85, Rebecca Joseph

Water bottle, £28, Lorna Jane at House Of Fraser Bra, £12.99, H&M

Yoga mat, £120, Monreal London

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Leggings, £82, Lululemon


Jacket, £120, Alo Yoga at Thesportsedit.com. Top, £24.99; leggings, £39.99, both Adidas Stellasport at Zalando.co.uk. Watch, £27.50, Swatch


Bra, ÂŁ45; leggings, ÂŁ75, both Sweaty Betty


Jacket, £50, Hump at Cycle Republic

Gloves, £20, Dare 2b at Halfords

Fitness watch, £159.99, Fitbit at House Of Fraser Helmet, £38.99, Bobbin at Cyclechic.co.uk

Vest, £39.90, Benetton

Bra, £70, No Kai’Oi at Avenue32.com

Leggings, £110, ADAY

Bralet, £12.99, H&M

Soul cycle

Shoes, £59.99, Shimano at Halfords

Time to limber up: pretend you’re Bradley Wiggins and crank up the gears. We’ll let you off the sideburns, though… Pssst… Yes, you still need to wear a good sports bra for spinning or cycling (Triumph’s Triaction bra reduces ‘movement’ by 73-78%). Things can get bouncy up there.

Top, £85, Icebreaker

Jacket, £119, Ivy Park

Leggings, £119, We Are Handsome at Fashercise.com

Bodysuit, £12, Boohoo.com Watch, £76, Swatch

Sunglasses, £167, Oakley at Sunglasses -shop.co.uk

Backpack, £135, Finisterre

Socks, £4.99, Boardman at Halfords

Shorts, £7.99, H&M

Leggings, £140, No Kai’Oi at Avenue32.com

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Trainers, £150, Michael Michael Kors Bag, £49.99, Puma at Zalando.co.uk

Leggings, £53, Bellum Active Bralet, £44, Fabletics. co.uk

Bralet, £34, Animal

Socks, £10, Pointe Studio at Thesportsedit.com

Feel the burn

Leggings, £138, Lululemon

Bralet, £45, Varley at Avenue32. com

It’s time to get the sweats. Squats, power boxing and planking all hurt less when your kit looks fierce Shorts, £47.99, Adidas by Stella McCartney at Zalando.co.uk

Bag, £170, Gymtote at Thesportsedit.com

Pssst… No matter how cold it is outside, no one wants thick leggings for cardio workouts. Lululemon’s fab Nulux leggings (above left) feel as light as a second skin.

Trainers, £70, Nike at Schuh

Boxing gloves, £69, Fab by Fabienne at Fashercise.com

Leggings, £140, Koral

Trainers, £65, Hotter

Fitness tracker, £135, Michael Kors

Bottle, £42, S’well at Thesports edit.com

Watch, £269, Out Of Order

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Jacket, £40; leggings, £28, both River Island Active. Bra, £85, SukiShufu. Boxing gloves, £69, Fab By Fabienne at Fashercise.com ◆ Model Sarah Lysander at IMG. Hair Ranelle Chapman, using Leonor Greyl. Make-up Megumi Matsuno at Carol Hayes Management, using YSL Beauty. Fashion assistant Joella Sawyer


HEY, HOW DO I WEAR… Underwear as outerwear?

From the bedroom to brunch to the boardroom, here’s how to air your undercrackers with dignity

1 LENGTH IS

EVERYTHING

When layering underwear over outerwear, o never style it with your actual everyday bra – seriously, s that’s a step too o farr. Always opt for sometthing longer – a bralet, bustie er or corset. The extra fabricc below the cups makes itt mo more like a top and therrefore day-appropriate – yo you know, like you’ve don ne it on purpose.

3 JUST 2 LAYER WISELY

Worn over a cropped crew neck, a sexy, sheer bralet takes on new life outside your clothes. A simple, white fitted tee with a high neck is the cool and casual antidote you need to pull this off. The simple cotton contrasts perfectly with the strappy black lace.

4 CASUAL

ACCESSORIES

Patent boots could be too vampy for this look, but a blocky mid-heel keeps it casual. Avoid spiky stilettos with boudoir-style dressing because, well, you know why. Throw on some sturdy boots and Lennon shades for downtown cool just like Miss Jenner.

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A PEEK

You have to be strategic about what skin you’re showing if you’ve got lingerie vibes going on. Cleavage? Absolutely not. Kendall’s sliver of midriff works because she’s covered up elsewhere with jeans and a big coat. You want it to appear effortless, not like you’re dressed for the red room with Christian Grey.

5 ARTY ADD-ONS

The lingerie trend lends itself perfectly to bohemian extras. Kendall’s tapestry coat feels rich and sumptuous paired with black lace. Anything velvet or silk is also a good bet (think of your favourite art teacher), as long as it’s offset with casual pieces such as basic jeans and a tee.


Alexa Chung

THE CAMISOLE A pretty, feminine camisole is the perfect antidote to mensy pieces like a blazer. Contrast your textures – silk with velvet, lace with denim – to ace the look like Alexa. For her signature quirky touch, adorn your blazer with a brooch, or pair your heels with slouchy men’s socks. If you feel too much like your Auntie Alison circa New Year’s Eve 2004, layer a white muscle tee under your cami for a younger feel. Blazer, £229, Jigsaw. Camisole, £98, Mimi Holliday. Vest, around £62, Re/Done. Jeans, £180, Agolde. Socks, £3, Topman. Bag, £150, Aspinal. Earrings, £75, Matthew Calvin. Shoes, £185, Russell & Bromley

THE SPORTS BRA Thank you, Chloë, for this night-out-incomfort inspiration – the humble sports bra as a layering piece. Important: this look only works with old-school style sports bras – look to Calvin Klein, Champion and Reebok. You’re going for a streetwear feel, so no moulded cups or printed ‘techy’ words like ‘Dri-FIT’, please. Bodysuit, £24, Urban Outfitters. Bra, £32, Calvin Klein at Urban Outfitters. Skirt, £198, The Kooples. Ring, £108, No. 13. Coat, £39.99, Quiz Clothing. Trainers, £55, Vans. Ring, £59, Lee Renée Chloë Sevigny

WORDS AND STYLING MADDY ALFORD. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, AKM-GSI-XPOSURE. STILL LIFES PIXELATE

THE CORSET Lace-up corsets were all over the A/W 16 catwalks, and Kim shows us exactly how it’s done. Grab a sweater dress or men’s XL long tee, use the corset as a belt to define your waist, and finish with your boyfriend’s jacket. Jumper dress, £22.99, New Look. Corset, £285, Sarah Bond. Necklace, £15, Cheap Monday. Jacket, £110, Carhartt WIP. Shoes, £52, Topshop

PSST…

Kim Kardashian

Make sure your lacy bralet doesn’t fray – pop it in a Betty Ball, £12.99, to protect it in the washing machine.

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THE JE US .

DOU

DENIM

Diane Kruger

Cosmopolitan’s Fashioon Director Amy Bannerman explains how to doubl d h bl ble-down on the blues

ebbie Harry, Steve McQueen, Madonna d circa 1985… My iconic style y dude and dudettes all hing: understood one th g the enduringg appeal off d this season, you double denim. And y should too. As regular readers of tthis column will know, denim has word, just made it up) anything, a way of coolifying (new w and double denim twice ass much. h The h k keyy to side-stepping d g Keep everything the full John Wayne look? K y g else simple (see Diane Kruger for your inspiration). What m makes k this thi hi h the classics: a white tee, simple look work is pairing it with boots, a camel coat and a caashmere h y sweater in naavyy or ggrey. o ggo wrong. ayeringg Stick to this and it’s hard to g Use as a laay blue piece under a timeless wintter coat – a battered b d bl 22 Frame Jeans, £225, denim jacket fitted underneeath will make the co oatt look less twee and smart. Go G on… Pull ll the h jacke ket et cuffs out from under your coat for added edge. A traditional denim jacket and jeans can look very cool (did I mention Debbie Harry?), but is trickier to pull off. An easier approach with the same rock ’n’ roll appeal is a soft denim or chambray shirt tucked into jeans. This will make you look more Parisian fashion girl than Texan ranch owner. And for those who feel they’re not street enough to pull off blue on blue, there are options. An easier way of rocking top-to-toe denim is to wear varying shades, so black or dark indigo jeans with a blue jacket. Also FYI, this trend is officially known in the fashion industry as the Canadian tuxedo – and just like maple syrup, beards and the Canadian prime minister/hottie Justin Trudeau, it’s a trend that’s going nowhere, fast.

Debbie Harry

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· C O S M O P O L I TA N

l 3 5 Sunglasses, £3 345 5, l and d Grross r s Cutler

JJacket, k , £80,, Levi s Levi’s

I’M WEARING W JJacke et, £275, Re/Done. J s, £120, Wrangler. Jeans Coa at, £79.99, H&M. Boots and rings, Bo Amy’s own

Shirt, £77, Sh i about b £ Lee 09 MCM M Bag, £1,095,

PHOTOGRAPHS STEPHANIE SIAN SMITH, FAMEFLYNET.COM, REX FEATURES, GETTY IMAGE ES

JJeans, aro o oun nd £85, 8 Lee e


TIP! Bra, £19.99;

Bra, £22;

Dry bras naturally on a coat hanger with the middle part hanging on o the bottom o o bar. N Never, everr bl dry. d . tumble

Bra, £32; briefs, £17, both Bouxavenue.com

briefs, £4.99, both H&M briefs, £10, both Pour Moi? Bra, £26; briefs, £12.50, both Rosie for Autograph at Marks & Spencer

Bra, £34;

Under

briefs, £20, both Triumph

Bra, £38; briefs, £24; suspenders, £29, all Soft Paris

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ALBERTA FERRETTI S/S 17

Bra, £22; briefs, £12, both Next

Bra, £100; briefs, £70, both Rose Fulbright at Keturah Brown

Bra, £14.99;

briefs, £6.99, both New Look

ETERNAL LOVE

Bra, £78;

Classic lingerie works best in timeless colours. Off white, blush pink, black and grey are go-to shades for most skintones

briefs, £38, both Iris London


Bra, £125; briefs, £65, both Agent Provocateur

HE DIT

SPORTY SPICE This season it’s about showing off sporty straps, lace bralets and angular triangle bras. Comfy, supportive and pretty. Winner

Bra, £32; briefs, £24, both Mimi Holliday

Bra, £45; briefs, £26, both L’Agent by Agent Provocateur

3.1 PHILLIP LIM S/S 17

Bra, £42.90;

Bra, £28; briefs, £17, both Bouxavenue.com

briefs, £14.90, both Princesse Tam Tam

wraps Want knickers that make your bum look like Gisele’s? And pretty, simple bras to wear under an unbuttoned boyish shirt? SENIOR FASHION EDITOR

TIP! Princesse Tam Tam’s HeatTech underwear means you’ll stay warm in the cold but won’t overheat indoors. Thermal bras – why have we had to wait so long?

Bra, £16; briefs, £8, both Next

Bra, £27; briefs, £18, both B.tempt’d

Bra, £34; briefs, £23, both Calvin Klein

SAIREY STEMP has you covered

Bra, £24, Topshop

Bra, £16; briefs, £13, both Victoria’s Secret i

Bra, £160; briefs, £103, both Fifi Chachnil Bra, £27.50, Hunkemoller.co.uk C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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TIP! If you live in fear of ENS* when wearing fine lace bras, Boux Avenue do silicone stick-on petals for £6.

Bra, £86;

briefs, £105, both Fleur Of England

Nipple petals, £6, Bouxavenue.com

Bra, £30;

NEW ROMANTIC

3.1 PHILLIP LIM S/S 17

Bra £130; briefs, £45, both Gilda & Pearl

If full-blown florals and delicate lace float your boat, there are plenty of seductive smalls around to tickle every fancy

briefs, £16, both Bluebella.com

Bra, £76.50; briefs, £46, both Hanro

Bra, £56;

TIP! Want a pretty triangle bra but you’re a DD cup or over? Mimi Holliday’s soft-cups are great for bigger-busted girls who don’t want underwires.

briefs, £32, both Calvin Klein Bra and briefs, £41 for the set, JJLux By Caprice

Bra, £17.99; briefs, £9.99, both Mango

Bra, £70; Bra, £32; briefs, £23, both MImi Holliday

Bra £18.50; briefs, £13.50, both B by Ted Baker at Debenhams Bra, £26; briefs, £16, both B.tempt’d

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briefs, £40, both Heidi Klum Intimates


Bra, £24, Bouxavenue. com

THE EDIT

Basque, £250, Adina Reay Slip, £440, La Perla

TIP! Fuller busted and can’t risk going braless with a plunging or backbaring dress? Bouxavenue. com has a backless and strapless bra, perfect for revealing partywear. No one need ever know.

Bralette, £24, Reger By Janet Reger at Debenhams

Body, £37, Charnos at Figleaves. com

Bra, £18; briefs, £6, both M&S Collection at Marks & Spencer

Bra, £38;

Body, £20, M&Co briefs, £36, both Triumph Briefs, £33, Spanx at John Lewis

HOUSE OF HOLLAND S/S 17

*ENS = ERECT NIPPLE SYNDROME. **WE WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED. PHOTOGRAPHS JASON LLOYD-EVANS

Body, £99, Maison Lejaby at Fenwick

TIP! Don’t buy shapewear knickers too tight – they’ll only roll down. If in doubt, buy a shaping body such as Maison Lejaby’s Gaby. Then you’re free to dance in comfort comfort.

Bra, £49; briefs, £32, both Wacoal

Bra, £16;

briefs, £8, both Simply Be

SHAPE SHIFTERS Meet the supersmoothers, figure-flatterers and dress fixers. They can also summon unicorns**

Body, £44, Maidenform at Figleaves.com ◆ C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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YOUR NO–BS GUIDE TO ALL THINGS BEAUTY

WORDS BECCI VALLIS. PHOTOGRAPH DENNIS PEDERSEN

OUT OF THIS WORLD Is it a pumice stone? Is it a blending sponge? Is it a small fungal mound that’s thriving in your bathroom? Nope – it’s a konjac sponge. Made from Asian konjac root (which, incidentally, has enough minerals and antioxidants to put a multivitamin to shame), the skin-loving loofahs do more than just remove make-up. “They condition without taking away natural oils, and the dome shape means you don’t disrupt the skin’s barrier because you massage, not rub as you would with a flannel,” explains skin scientist Dr Om Prawarisa. It’s A-OK to use alone – just wet MZ Skin’s red-clay-based Natural Konjac Sponge (£19), to release the radiance-boosting powders; or squirt a blob of face wash in the ready-made dip of Om’s Cleanse & Glow Konjac Sponge (£8). Air-dry, and you’ll bag up to eight weeks’ face-time from your biodegradable cosmic cleanser. Beam us up.

C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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HAVE YOU GOT

That New-Year health kick sounds like it’ll do the business for your waistline – but at what price to your skin?

VEGAN WRINKLES?

ook at you, all flush with smugness over sticking to your New Year’s diet. But while the pounds may be sliding off your body, are the years creeping onto your face? Dermatologists increasingly diagnose skin complaints based on a face-food link. So do dieticians; skin ailments give them a good clue as to what’s wrong with your diet. “Certain foods or drinks can affect the gut negatively, and as your skin is related to your digestive health, this can result in inflammation, oxidative stress and signs of ageing on your face,” says freelance dietician Kate Roberts. But before you roll your eyes and say, “Duh,” it’s not simply the usual culprits – gluten, dairy, wine and carbs – that are to blame for your gut/skin throwing a wobbly. It turns out that hallowed health foods such as fish, soya beans and even vegetables can cause trouble if you’re not careful. Surprised? We were. So if you want to learn how to avoid the

L

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· C O S M O P O L I TA N

skin-related pitfalls your health kick can bring, we suggest you read on…

SOYA FACE So you’ve ditched dairy, and we’re willing to bet that your spots have disappeared, too. One theory: cow’s milk (even organic) contains the hormones testosterone and oestrogen, which cause oil glands to go into overdrive and make sebum thicker. “So instead of moving dead skin cells to the surface, the sebum forms a plug that clogs pores, and eventually causes blemishes,” explains Peter Cox, clinical nutritionist at London’s Omniya clinic. But eliminating dairy from your diet altogether poses its own challenges. What going dairy-free gave you in clear skin, soya milk (made from water and ground-up soya beans) will take away in firmness. “Most soya milks are sweetened with added sugar (anything up to 12g per carton) to match the natural sweetness of milk,”

says Cox. Sugar molecules bind to proteins, including the collagen in your skin, in a process known as glycation. “Consequently, tissues become more brittle and wrinkles form prematurely,” adds dermatologist Dr Harold Lancer. The other problem with shunning dairy is that it’s a good source of calcium for healthy bones. “The bones of the eye socket, the chin and the area near the base of the nose in particular will erode with age, causing overlying tissue to sag,” says oculoplastic surgeon Sabrina Shah-Desai. No anti-ageing cream can rectify that, so you need to eat calciumrich foods to keep bone erosion at bay.

Fix it Increase your intake of green veg such as kale, bok choi and broccoli: Cox recommends at least one portion a day of these nutritional calcium bombs. In addition, he says those on dairy-free diets should eat “plenty of pulses, nuts and seeds; all contain significant amounts of calcium”. As i


Turns out that even vegetables can cause gut and skin trouble

C O S M O P O L I TA N ¡

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the body needs vitamin D to absorb calcium, a daily 1,000mg vitamin D supplement is advisable, too. For a dairy-free splash in your tea, Cox is keen on unsweetened almond and hazelnut milk – plentiful in calcium. Sugar damage can be corrected with topical strategies. “Anything that stimulates the skin to produce new collagen is going to help,” says Dr Lancer, who’s a fan of creating a controlled injury in the skin to do this. Professional microneedling will get results; a course of four treatments will set you back roughly £450. A good daily vitamin C product should keep your collagen production ticking over long-term, too; try Lancer Advanced C Radiance Cream (£68).

PROTEIN FACE You’ve sworn off a beige diet of processed carbs in favour of protein for every meal to complement the HIIT regime that’ll make you all lean and muscular. So why is your skin suffering from a nasty cocktail of dullness, flakes and fine lines? It turns out you can have too much of a good thing. As well as muscle growth, protein encourages the production of collagen to thicken the skin and prevent wrinkles. But there is a downside. The more protein you eat, the more of its waste products the kidneys have to remove from the blood. “The latest research supports the thinking that healthy kidneys can adapt to increased protein intake without negative impact” says Roberts. However, if you have kidney disease or reduced kidney function, it can lead to problems such as dehydration, “because the body has to rob your tissues of water to flush out the waste. That can lead to wrinkles, sensitivity, and even acne as oil production goes into overdrive,” warns Dr Nigma Talib, a naturopathic practitioner. Another not-so-fun fact: while canned meat and fish are easy ways to get your protein fix, they are also high in histamine. “This natural

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chemical is produced over time in preserved foods; the older it is, the higher the levels of histamine,” says Cox. “If you’re sensitive to histamine, angry red patches on the chest and cheeks are almost impossible to avoid. Over time, this reaction leads to a breakdown of tiny capillaries close to the skin’s surface, resulting in an almost permanent flush [aka rosacea].” Dollop of tuna, anyone?

Fix it Dehydrated skin needs water, not oil. Avoid heavy emollient creams and opt for serums and oils based on hyaluronic acid, a molecule that holds onto water like a sponge. Instead of just hydrating the surface of the skin as larger hyaluronic acid molecules

do, The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid 2% + B5 (£5.90) uses tiny ones that travel deep into the skin to plumpen. As histamine sensitivity is often a precursor to rosacea, use NeoStrata Redness Neutralizing Serum (£47) on skin that’s prickly and flushed. Its brew of peptides and soothers quells inflammation, while bionic acids rebuild your skin’s barrier. As for diet, those with kidney trouble shouldn’t exceed the RDA of protein – which, according to Roberts, is 1.5g per kilo of bodyweight – so 90g or two large chicken breasts a day for a 60kg woman. “Balance this with complex carbs such as wholegrains, quinoa and buckwheat, which keep bloodsugar levels even,” says Dr Talib.


hormone expert and author of The Tiredness Cure. Inflammation is how the body responds to invasion from undesirable substances – it produces white blood cells to kill the ‘attackers’. This causes swelling and irritation, and if it goes on for a long time, damage to healthy tissue. Inflammation in the gut often leads to tiredness too, which will show up on your face as sallow skin and dark circles. As a vegan, you are also at risk of not getting the variety of protein needed for building skin and supporting the muscles. Eggs in particular are nutritional powerhouses for the skin, so cutting them out requires you carefully substituting the proteins and lipids they pack.

Fix it While we love the benefits of

WORDS FIONA EMBLETON. PHOTOGRAPHS LEVI BROWN/TRUNK ARCHIVE. FIND KATE ROBERTS AT KATEROBERTSNUTRITION.COM

SALAD FACE Veganism has shed its anaemic, hippy image (the number of vegans in Britain has risen by more than 360% in 10 years). There are plenty of reasons why your skin will thank you for switching to a plant-based diet: nuts rev up circulation to help with nutrient delivery to cells, while fruit and vegetables have tonnes of antioxidants to nuke skin cell-destroying toxins and other free radicals. But there are downsides. Fruit and vegetables also contain compounds known as oxalates, which are basically natural pesticides. “The trouble is, when consumed in large quantities, oxalates can fuel inflammation in the body,” says Dr Sohère Roked, a GP,

veganism, it’s all about balance. Diet-wise, aim for “‘complete’ or ‘high-quality’ proteins, which contain amino acids the body cannot produce,” says Roberts. “Add a variety of pulses, grains, legumes, nuts and seeds, and antiinflammatory omega-3 and -6 essential fatty acids in the shape of olive, avocado, sunflower and other plant oils.” On your skin, try Yes To Argan Miracle Oil (£14.99); argan oil is one of the best sources of essential fatty acids. Retinoids matter, too: “Vegan skin needs extra help to build collagen and repair itself,” says Dr Lancer. Try Allies Of Skin 1A Overnight Mask, £75; it’s less likely to cause redness because the retinoid is gradually released over time. Counter the visible effects of tiredness with a serum rich in ferulic acid, such as Goldfaden MD’s Brightening Elixir (£75); it increases blood flow to the skin’s tissues for increased luminosity. Pair with an eye cream that contains caffeine (such as Perricone MD Pre:Empt Series Brightening Eye Cream, £39); it speeds up blood flow in the capillaries around the eyes to fight bags and circles. ◆

YOUR FACE-FRIENDLY FOOD FAD ermented food fans, pat yourselves on the back. “Foods such as kimchi and sauerkraut, along with fermented milk (or kefir) and yoghurts, introduce ‘good’ probiotic bacteria to the gut,” says Roberts. “Gut bacteria create a barrier to reduce inflammation, which is at the heart of countless diseases, as well as the ageing process.” Add plenty of prebiotics in the form of fibre from plants and wholegrains: they act as food and fertiliser for the good bacteria. “A gut full of healthy microbes modulates the immune system and so keeps every part of the body in balance,” says doctor of pharmacy Marie Drago. A good probiotic supplement such as OptiBac Probiotics For Every Day (£11.29) is also an option. Topical bacteria are crucial, too. “Skin has its own microbiome of healthy bacteria [the o acid mantle], which keeps a tthe surface slightly acidic tto ward off ‘bad’ bacteria and pollution and locks in a moisture,” says Drago. But m ssoaps, sulfate cleansers and even hard tap water a strip this layer, making skin dry and sensitive and creating an inviting environment for acne bacteria to thrive. The right strategy? Choose sulfate-free cleansers such as Gallinée La Culture Foaming Facial Cleanser (£14), with added biotics to support the acid mantle, followed by probiotic-rich Aurelia Cell Revitalise Night Moisturiser (£52). To keep skin’s acidity topped up, embrace exfoliating acids: “Lactic acid is akin to what the body itself produces, and is the best acid for efficacy and safety,” says Drago. Swipe skin with a Zelens PHA+ Bio-Peel Resurfacing Facial Pad (£65 for 50) twice a week.

F

C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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BEAUTY LAB

Origins Original Skin Essence Lotion, £22 Impressive, despite the ingredients list reading like a Gwyneth Paltrow recipe (think fermented molasses). The texture is thicker than your average essence, but there was no tackiness and my make-up glided on like a dream. A close runner-up.

Editor’s pick...

Essential essences

This hybrid toner/seruum promises to boost the effectiveness of your other skincare. But do d you need one asks Acting Beauty Editor FIONA EMBLETON Aveda Botanical Kinetics Hydrating Treatment Lotion, £22.50 This is more like a toner for sensitive skin. It clears away all traces o cleanser – without the of st stinging side effects – so ot other products can sink in better. The spa-like sccent of chamomile an eucalyptus also and de deserves a mention.

B Refreshed Essence Lotion, £6.99 Proof that you don’t need to blow big bucks on good skincare. This n budget-friendly option contains hyaluronic acid (sounds chemicall w but works like a dream y d m). It’s normally found in i serums e tto really lly increase moisture mpressiv ve e. m i re. Impressive.

Aurelia Calming Botanical Essence, £42 No faffing around with cotton pads with this g mist. The skin-soothing her probiotics are another ing bonus. Stick to using g – the underneath your night cream,, though soporific scent had me drifting off at my desk!

PHOTOGRAPHS MICHA MICHAEL THOMPSON/ TRUNK ARCHIVE ARCHIVE, GETTY IMAGES

This month...

Giv venchy Le Soin Noir L Lottion Essence, £88.50 O OK,, this has a hefty price tag – but it wass also the most multitasking essence. I hap ppily skipped the next two steps of m my regime r (serum and moisturiser) thanks tto how ho dewy it made my skin right away.


INGE HAS ISSUES

Cosmopolitan’s Beauty Director INGEBORG VAN LOTRINGEN gets a few things off her chest

We need to talk about…

PHOTOGRAPH GETTY IMAGES. *FIND YOUR NEAREST DECLÉOR SALON AT DECLEOR.CO.UK. FUR AT CONTENTBEAUTYWELLBEING.COM

Members-only make-up

The cost price of that premium mascara that set you back as much as a restaurant meal? About £1.87. Makes you wish you could buy your cosmetics directly from the factories that produce them, right? Well, now you can. h woman A genius new brand called Beauty Pie (by the who brought us Soap & Glory and FitFlop, Marcia Kilgore) sources its make-up from the best suppliers around the world, and each item from the country that excels at making it (German pencils are the best, little known fact). The quality and packaging are gorgeous, and the prices are accordingly steep (£20 for a lipstick). But if you become a £10 a month Beautypie.com subscriber, magic happens. You can snap up everything at factory prices (making that £20 lipstick a £2.43 one), up to the value of £100 a month. Skincare (from Switzerland) is in the pipeline, and there will be additional member benefits. Too good to be true? Nope. Revolutionary? Hell, yes. Now you can have your beauty pie and eat it.

TRENDING... CHEEKBONE AEROBICS If you’ve had it with beauty editors harping on about eye-wateringly expensive facial massage therapists based nowhere near you (um, sorry), there’s some good news. Brilliant Japanese masseuse Chico Shigeta has trained all of Decléor’s therapists in Facial Pilates; an intense, sculpting massage workout (deeply relaxing it’s not) that totally brings out your cheekbones. Available in spas and salons* from £75 for 75 minutes, it’s so worth the cash.

#nomakeupface

PERSONAL SHOPPER

OBSESSED

✱ Alpha-H Vitamin B Serum, £58.50 Niacinamide? Tick. Copper peptides? Tick. Ferulic acid? Tick. This stuff combines all my favourite skin cell saviours and it’s hydrating to boot.

IMPRESSED

✱ Clinique Crayola Chubby Stick, £17.50 Not sure how the word ‘Crayola’ makes these different from the original Chubby Sticks, but they’re fab, balmy lip colours nonetheless.

NON-PLUSSED NON

✱ Fu ur Oil for Pubic Hairr, £35 No, I don’t neeed a hair oil for a glossy, conditioned bush, thank you very much. But if you do, here h is one. C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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WORDS JENNIFER SAVIN. *RESEARCH CONDUCTED BY DELOITTE ON MORE THAN 4,000 US WORKERS. PHOTOGRAPHS JOHANNA PARKIN. ILLUSTRATION COLIN BEAGLEY

WORK SMARTER, NOT HARDER…

HOME ALONE Jean-Paul Sartre once said, “Hell is other people.” And when you’re having to endure a tea-slurping, keyboard-bashing desk neighbour it’s hard not to agree. Which may explain why more of us than ever are leaving behind our colleagues for the freelance dream – with career forecasters CEBR finding a quarter of 18- to 34-year-olds preparing to become self-employed. The reality, however, may not be that rosy: in a landmark study, 70% of home-alone workers who work independently say that, given the choice, they wouldn’t do it again, with half citing loneliness as the reason*. The solution? Find company in a co-working space. WeWork have over 10 desks-to-rent sites alongside creative ‘fellowlancers’, with memberships from £250 per month. The Skiff in Brighton, meanwhile, is a hot spot for meeting new work pals while grafting solo, and the Regus app can matchmake you with an office environment in minutes. Unfortunately, we’re yet to find a space that vets applicants on how loudly they type – but, we live in hope.

C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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Brand Want Zoella’s salary and Alexa’s street cred? Make yourself a brand with a little help from the people behind the UK’s biggest names

Aid

hen Victoria Beckham proclaimed she wanted to be “more famous than Persil Automatic” everyone rolled their eyes (c’mon, you did too). Why was she, a human, trying to become a brand? Because she’s smart, that’s why. You see, in the age of the individual you need to do everything you can to stand out. You have to be CEO of your own life and market yourself to everyone. How do you do that? By taking notes from the individuals who created the world’s most iconic brands.

W

1 Curate your story What’s your story? Every strong brand has one. They use it to make customers trust and believe in their product. It could be historical (think Chanel constantly referencing their legacy); or more ideological, such as Nike reinforcing the message that if you buy their shoes, you’re a go-getter. “The parts of these brands’ histories we see have been carefully selected,”

says Dr Tim Hill, lecturer in marketing and branding at the University of Bath. “They asked who their audience was and what they wanted to hear, then worked out a story that matched it.” The Spice Girls? We hate to break it to you, but that was all personal branding – picking parts of their own back stories and personalities to create a memorable group. Seriously, no one is that sporty. Do it! Work backwards. Write down your ‘history’ and how you got to the position you’re in today. Then pick out the parts most relevant and exciting to a new audience, be it employers or clients.

think you’re doing it for love, rather than being motivated by profit.” This, he says, is the secret behind Apple’s success (currently listed on Forbes as the most valuable brand in the world) – “they famously, and strategically, don’t listen to market trends – they seem to be producing innovative, brilliant products in pursuit of human progress. They don’t come across as sell, sell, sell.” A sneaky trick considering they’ve managed to make us buy, buy, buy. In personal branding terms, this means ensuring that you come across as genuine, something super-vloggers Zoella and Tanya Burr have built million-pound empires on. “It’s really important to maintain credibility,” says Dom Smales, MD of Gleam Futures, who got both their careers off the ground. Recent selfies of Tanya show her seemingly makeup free on holiday, and her feed has fuzzy shots that are a lot less slick than her highly edited vlogs. Do it! First, match your online presence to what you’re like IRL – 80% of employers google applicants, so what’s on your social media should match your CV. Said you have an interest in politics? Tweet articles related to it. And remember, you can be too corporate. For every three social media posts relating to work, include a personal one showcasing your passions.

“What’s your story? Every strong brand has one”

2 Be believable ‘Authenticity’ is what Dr Hill calls ‘the holy grail of branding.’ “It’s getting the customer to trust you because they

3 Know your brand Easyjet’s Sir Stelios HajiIoannou isn’t just a really, really big fan of orange. He knows consumers associate bright colours with cheapness. That’s the reason his planes, coffee shops and hotels are all plastered with that headacheinducing hue. “Everythingbrands do is strategic,” says Dr Hill. For you, i C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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CELEBRITY BRAND SWAPS It is possible to switch up your brand, as this lot prove...

TAYLOR SWIFT

Af ter

CALVIN HARRIS Once upon a time, Calvin was a scruffy, spotty, vampirically Before pale party boy from Dumfries. Then he got fit, straightened his teeth and got a tan, so clearly that’s a look we’re definitely Af ter on board with.

MILEY CYRUS

Before

Af ter

this means knowing the right brand associations. All work you do should show you know your core values. Would Alexa Chung have become a respected fashion writer with Marks & Spencer deals had she been teasing the lad-mag crowd? “She was offered lots of profitable underwear shoots,” admits Liz Matthews, her publicist, “but we knew it wouldn’t be a good idea for her to go in that direction.” Do it! Ask friends and colleagues for five words to describe you – is that how you want to be seen? Make those your brand values. And remember, your name is often the first thing people see of you, so be wary of

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using something different across channels. Pick one and stick to it.

Expand and grow “Brilliant marketing is when the brand doesn’t see itself in isolation. It looks at the wider world and what’s coming next,” Dr Hill says, citing Barbie’s recent foray into adverts that challenged feminist criticism of her. “It came five years too late – now consumers can see it’s just for profit. Had they looked outward earlier, they could have predicted that the culture surrounding toys and gender norms was changing.” On a personal level, this could mean

Her teens were spent as Hannah Montana, but one haircut, that MTV Music Awards spot later, and Miley morphed from Minnie Mouse to Jessica Rabbit.

looking at less obvious opportunities – back when Alexa Chung was presenting T4 she wanted to break into the fashion market. Vogue would have been an obvious choice, but she wasn’t there yet. “Instead, she got a style column in The Independent,” explains Matthews. “It was an unexpected move, but it impressed key people and helped us sell her to new markets.” Do it! Want to branch into something else? Slowly begin to show off your skills in that area. Set up a newsletter discussing your knowledge of the subject, or sign up for an extra project outside work hours. With time, you’ll begin to get noticed. ◆

WORDS ED DYSON AND CATRIONA INNES. PHOTOGRAPHS NICK ONKEN. FASHION DIRECTOR KRISTEN INGERSOLL. HAIR CLAY NIELSEN AT SPOKE & WEAL SALON, USING BUMBLE AND BUMBLE. MAKE-UP CAMPBELL RITCHIE, ART DEPARTMENT. NAILS TEE HUNDLEY (TEEFORNAILS.COM). PROP STYLING LYNNE CHAN. MODEL QI WEN AT Q MODELS. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, SNAP STILLS/REX/SHUTTERSTOCK

Before

She ditched the perm and cowboy boots for a choppy bob and edgy outfits, switching from country princess to queen of pop. Next up: A duet with Princes Harry and Wills?


SELF MADE

‘Having no money can force you to think creatively’

WORDS JOSIE COPSON. PHOTOGRAPH MARIYA STANGL

ROBYN EXTON, 30, founder of LGBTQ+ dating app Her, tells how buying shots helped her business ³ Sometimes you have to do weird shit When I was promoting my company, I had to think of innovative ways to get the brand to the masses. I’d go to LGBT nightclubs, buy bottles of tequila from the bar, and then every half an hour I would stand on a chair and shout, “If you show me my app on your phone I’ll give you a shot.” I learnt so much about my target audience by being in those clubs. Don’t let something like having no money stop you from being creative. ³Believe you can change the world I’ve always been optimistic about my business. I genuinely believe Her can change people’s lives. I made a decision to deal with problems as they happen and move on. On launch day, the app broke. Our engineer was on a plane and he was the only one who could fix it. I was speaking at a conference and I had to tell Her users the app had crashed due to unprecedented demand, when the reality was totally different. ³Ignore the haters Investors have turned Her down for funding because they have “strong Christian beliefs” and don’t believe in “my lifestyle”. It’s hard, but I take inspiration from people like Ellen

ROBYN’S CV 2007 Graduated from Bristol University with a degree in geography. 2007-2008 Became an account manager at design and production agency Tag. 2008-2012 Account manager at Calling Brands. 2013 Started the London arm of GeekGirlMeetup – a network that brings together women in technology. 2013 Founded Dattch – a dating app for lesbians/ bisexual women. 2015 Moved to San Francisco and rebranded Dattch to become Her. Hearst Empowering Women is an initiative to support women’s careers in business, tech and beyond. Find more at Empowering.hearst.co.uk

DeGeneres and Clare Balding. They overcame so many obstacles and I know I can do the same. I met Clare once and thanked her for being an ambassador for me. I hope I can inspire just one person the same way she inspired me. ³Immerse yourself in your industry People who want to be in the tech industry go to San Francisco. I moved my whole life there from the UK so I could surround myself with the right people – and it worked. I’ll be at a coffee shop and suddenly I’m chatting about coding my app with someone high up at Facebook. Don’t be afraid to walk up to someone and ask questions. ³Risks give the biggest pay-offs ‘Ask for forgiveness, not permission’ is my favourite mantra. It’s better to take the risk and then do damage limitation if needed. Our logo is a perfect example. It has a vagina in the middle of it and some people thought it was too overtly sexy. We now have 1.5 million users in 55 different countries, so it didn’t put too many people off. I’m convinced it’s one of our strongest assets. C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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WORDS JENNIFER SAVIN. ILLUSTRATION COLIN BEAGLEY. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, ALAMY. *ACCORDING TO NHS GUIDELINES

STRETCH YOUR BODY

AND YOUR MIND...

TRY THE HALFTOX Not ready to commit to a whole dry January? Then try a ‘halftox’ instead – the drinking equivalent of dehydrated kale in one hand and a Mars Ice Cream in the other. Research shows that after taking an alcoholic battering over the festive period, it’s possible for our liver cells to regenerate and return to a normal state after just a two-week break from boozing* – rather than the month-long happy-hour hiatus we tend to force upon ourselves. Make that fortnight count by starting your days with a liver-detoxing wellness shot. Mix a tablespoon of apple-cider vinegar (our favourite is Aspall) with the juice of half a lemon, top up with water and knock back. Salt and lemon chasers thankfully not necessary. Chin-chin.

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Tame your tush with this speedy workout from m New York City’s hottestt ballet coach

lift

he bun TIP! Want to make your bridge workout more challenging? Mary Helen recommends placing a balance dome (£135, Bosu at Tesco.com) under your feet for the exercise. If you don’t have one, use a firm cushion.

EXPRESS WORKOUT

PHOTOGRAPH SARAH FORD/THELICENSINGPROJECT.COM. ILLUSTRATIONS LIZZY THOMAS. PORTRAIT COURTESY OF BALLET BEAUTIFUL


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TARGETS Bum, inner thighs, hips and core 1 Still in the bridge, keep your hips lifted up high, your shoulders relaxed and your core tight. 2 Open out your knees to each side, squeezing your glutes. Close your knees back together again, engaging your inner thighs. Now give us 32, no stopping.

STEP 2 Butterfly

TARGETS Bum, hips, legs and core 1 Lie on your back with knees bent and feet flat, hands by your sides. Press your shoulders into the floor and lift up your hips, squeezing your bum tight, while pulling in your abs. 2 Slowly sink your hips down as far as you can without letting them touch the mat, releasing your glutes. Then go back up. That’s one move – do another 31. Ready for more?

STEP 1 Classic bridge

orget squats – the latest moves to tighten your bum are ballet-inspired. And no one’s more qualified to hone and tone than Mary Helen Bowers, the founder of NYC’s Ballet Beautiful and the woman behind the divine derrières of Miranda Kerr, Kirsten Dunst and Lily Aldridge. “Each of these moves calls on your glutes to work their absolute hardest,” she says. “But they’ll also target the inner thighs and lower abs.” Do one circuit three times a week and you’ll be leotard-ready in no time.

TARGETS Core, bum, thighs and back 1 Start as arabesque swan but bend your right knee further. Bend your torso and reach your hands to the floor as your left foot slides out behind you. 2 Return to an upright position and straighten the right leg, keeping your left foot touching the floor. Do 16, then switch legs. Revel in your born-again bum.

STEP 5 Low arabesque lunge

TARGETS Arms, back and bum 1 Stand with your right foot in front of your left. Bend your right knee and slide your left leg along the floor behind you into a lunge. 2 Straighten your knee and lift your left leg off the floor, lifting your arms into a V. Return to a lunge, lowering your arms. Do 16, then switch legs.

STEP 4 Arabesque swan

TARGETS Thighs, hips and bum 1 Lie on your right side, head on your arm, legs stretched out with pointed toes. 2 Raise your left leg a few inches and circle in the air as if drawing an O. Do four sets of eight circles, clockwise, then switch to your left side.

STEP 3 Rond de jambe


SUPER BOWLS D Plates? So 2016. Grab a spoon and get to work on these ultimate breakfast updates

o you know toast’s main flaw? You can’t serve it in a bowl. And if we’ve learned anything from the LA food scene, it’s that things just taste better when served in a vat for you to dip a spoon/slab of bread into. So we tasked London’s hippest wellness café The Good Life Eatery (Goodlifeeatery.com) with creating six recipes that are brilliant for your body and taste so good you’ll forget about bacon sandwiches (kinda). Do remember that these recipes are enough for two, though.

THE LEAN GREEN

ACAI WARRIOR GRANOLA

For a granola batch 500g gluten-free oats 40g coconut flakes 70g almonds 70g sunflower seeds 5½ tbsp coconut oil 1½ tsp vanilla extract 5 tbsp honey 120g dried pitted dates, chopped 40g dried goji berries

For the acai purée 200g frozen acai pulp

100g cashew nuts, soaked in boiling water for an hour 200ml cashew milk 2 frozen bananas, chopped 2 tsp spirulina 100g frozen pineapple 1 avocado 2 tbsp honey Pinch of sea salt

Toppings ½ a large banana, sliced 10 raspberries

1 Drain the cashew nuts and discard the nutty soaking water. 2 Put the soaked cashew nuts and half of the cashew milk in a blender and mix it up until you have a thick, smooth and creamy consistency.

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4 tbsp fresh pineapple, chopped 2 tbsp chia seeds

3 Add the other ingredients to the blender and slowly pour in the remaining milk (adding more if you need it). 4 Chill for at least half an hour before serving with the toppings scattered on top. Dig in.

100g frozen strawberries 2 frozen bananas, chopped ½ avocado 1 tbsp honey 200ml apple juice

1 Preheat the oven to 160°C. Mix the gluten-free oats, coconut flakes, almonds and sunflower seeds in a big bowl. 2 In a small saucepan, gently heat the coconut oil, vanilla extract and honey until melted. 3 Pour the coconut oil mixture over the oat mix and give it a good stir. Cover a large oven tray with parchment paper and spread the granola out evenly. Bake for 40 minutes, stirring it every 15 minutes to make sure everything crisps evenly. 4 Take out of the oven and leave to cool, then add the chopped dates and dried goji berries.

Toppings ½ a sliced banana 6 tbsp fresh pineapple cubes, chopped ½ Granny Smith apple, chopped 2 tbsp coconut flakes

5 While your granola goodness cools, make the acai purée. Run the frozen acai packets under warm water. Remove the pulp from the plastic, break it up into pieces and place in a blender. 6 Add the remaining ingredients to the blender, using only half the apple juice, and blitz. Slowly add the remaining apple juice as necessary to create a soft but thick purée. 7 Now, put it all together. Spoon 75g granola into each bowl, top with a generous dollop of acai purée (it’s healthy, remember) and garnish with all the toppings.


MANGO & BAOBAB MUESLI

ALT FRUIT COCKTAIL

75g oats 100ml almond milk 50ml apple juice 25g apricot, chopped 1 tbsp chia seeds 1 tbsp baobab 1-2 Granny Smith apples 1-2 tbsp coconut yoghurt

2 ripe peaches or plums 2 frozen bananas, chopped 10 strawberries 1 tbsp flax seeds 1 tbsp chia seeds 1 tbsp honey 100ml apple or orange juice Pinch of sea salt

Toppings 4 tbsp almonds, chopped 4 mint leaves, chopped

with a coarse grater straight into the muesli. 3 Add the yoghurt to make it super creamy and stir well. Divide into two bowls and dress each with the toppings. Scoff.

MATCHA CHIA PUDDING

½ can of black beans 2 ears of sweetcorn, kernels removed 8-10 cherry tomatoes, halved Large handful of kale with the stalks removed 1 tbsp olive oil

200g cashew nuts 60g agave nectar 5-10g matcha powder 450ml coconut milk 70g chia seeds 300ml water

Toppings 4 poached eggs 1 avocado, sliced

1 Drain and rinse the beans, then put in a pan on a medium heat. Add the sweetcorn, tomatoes and kale. Drizzle with the olive oil and add a pinch of salt and two tablespoons of water. Cover and cook for four to five minutes until the kale has wilted.

Pimp your bowls even further with these tasty body boosters

2 sprigs of fresh coriander Drizzle of olive oil

Toppings 2 kiwi fruit, sliced 8 strawberries, sliced

1 Whizz together all the main ingredients in a high-speed blender until smooth. 2 Allow the mixture to chill for about an hour before you

MEXICAN BEAN SUPREME

POWER POWDERS

WORDS AMY GRIER. ADDITIONAL CONTENT MARIANNA MANSON. PHOTOGRAPHS JOHANNA PARKIN

1 Mix the oats, almond milk (or milk of your choice), apple juice, apricot, chia seeds and baobab in a bowl and leave to soak for an hour, or overnight. 2 Once soaked, grate the apple

60g dried mango, chopped Drizzle of honey

Toppings 2 tbsp coconut

2 tbsp macadamia nuts, crumbled 4 mint leaves, chopped

eat it, then serve in two bowls, each garnished with half of the topping ingredients. Yep, that’s really all there is to it.

yoghurt 2 tbsp almonds, flaked 16 raspberries

16 blueberries Pinch of matcha powder

2 Meanwhile, poach four eggs in a separate pan. Divide your cooked bean mixture evenly between two bowls, top each one with two poached eggs, garnish with the other topping ingredients and drizzle some more olive oil on top.

1 Soak the cashew nuts in boiling water for one hour, then drain, discarding the soaking water. 2 Whizz all the ingredients, except the chia seeds (this is very important), in a blender until completely smooth.

3 Pour into a bowl and add the chia seeds. Allow the mixture to soak for two to three hours or – if you’re organised – overnight. 4 To assemble, divide the mix between two bowls and garnish with the toppings and a sprinkle of matcha powder.

Ashwagandha Tricky to say, but so easy to eat. Bake it in muffins for natural energy without the slump. It’s also said to have stress-balancing properties – but that could just be the cake. £6.99, Nutriseed.co.uk

Slippery elm bark powder Sounds like a tree disease, but is more like Actimel on steroids. Slippery elm is extracted from the tree of the same name, and aids healthy digestion. £9.99, Amazon.co.uk

Camu camu Get your zing on with this Brazilian berry, which has up to 60 times more vitamin C than an orange. Add it to a smoothie or a homemade face mask. Germs, be gone. £10.99, Healthysupplies.co.uk

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Sweatshirt, £65; S ttracksuit bottoms, £50; trainers, from £ a selection, all Fila

Back when Run DMC and LL Cool J dictated what we wore, said and listened to, the world seemed a simpler place. Fast-forward 20 years and retro sportswear is still kool with a capital K, and topping the wish lists of fit, young things, skateboarders and hipsters. Get your classics on.

Sweatshirt,, £50,, Fila at JD Sports

Cap, p £28, New Era

Bag, £18, Nike at Lookagain.co.uk

OLD SKOOL Badass logos and low-slung trackie pants – the ’90s want to cover your (gym) ass T-shirt, £25, Adidas Originals at Lookagain.co.uk

Hoodie, H d £55, Adidas dd O i i l att JD S t Originals Sports

Top, £18, Ellesse

Tracksuit bottoms, £47.95, Reebok k

Trainers, £64.95, Reebok at Urban Outfitters

TIP!

COMPILED BY SAIREY STEMP

Shortss, around d £20, S mericcanapparel.net l t Am

H dph nes, £149, Headphones Audio-Technica at AudioJohn Lewis

Keep trainers ultrault sparkling whitte by giving them a reg egular l r rub-down with h baby b by wipes. p Who knew? k e

Bag, £60, Bag £60 Fred Perry

ainers, £120, Nike Tra £120 Nik

h , £85,, Sweatshirt, h p m Champion at Asos.com

Top, £20, Ellesse at JD Sports

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‘What I wear is taking over my life’ She’s saving for a house deposit and has a wardrobe (and attic and spare room) full of clothes. And yet Lottie Lumsden can’t stop spending… i P H O T O G R A P H S A N TO N I O P E T RO N Z I O


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t’s 9am on a Tuesday morning and, instead of heading to the office when I exit the Tube, I make a beeline for H&M on Regent Street. I’m in a mad panic because I’ve suddenly decided that the skirt and jumper I put on this morning look old and scruffy. I only bought them last month, but I have been consumed by this thought since I left the house at 8am and am now intent on buying an entirely new outfit before I go to work and face my colleagues. I can’t get through the day looking like this. Within 15 minutes of walking through the doors of H&M’s flagship store, I’ve selected a new £49.99 dress, paid for it, changed into it and, by 9.30am, I am sitting at my desk feeling confident for the day ahead. Colleagues comment on my attire. “Oh, this? I’ve had it a while,” I lie. Mad? Me? Probably. But one thing is for certain – I have a serious problem when it comes to clothes. I. Can’t. Stop. Buying. Them. New outfits make me feel good and form part of my identity but, in the past year, my shopping has got out of control. It wasn’t until I joined Cosmopolitan in September 2015 that I realised my habits weren’t normal. As I slowly got to know my colleagues, they started to comment on the pile of shopping bags that lived permanently beneath my desk. They were invariably filled with clothes – ones I had just bought or ones I was about to return. Clothes bought in a panic in my lunch break because I had nothing to wear to a work event, an important meeting, or someone’s birthday at the weekend – or even that night. What baffled them most was that a few months before I started working at Cosmopolitan, my boyfriend and I had moved in with my mum to save

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for a house deposit – shouldn’t my salary be going towards that? Of course it should, but that didn’t stop me. The week before payday, when I only have £50 left in my current account, I’ve been known to transfer £100 out of the savings meant to be going towards a down payment on a home (!) because I’ve spotted a dress in & Other Stories that I simply must have. Often, I’ll only wear an item once before casting it aside, or worse, I’ll never wear it at all. This is despite my mum’s loft quite literally groaning from the weight of the suitcases of clothing stored up there – seriously, since my suitcases and I moved in, cracks have amassed across the ceiling. On average, I spend £300 a month on clothes; mainly cheap, disposable items – a £6.99 T-shirt here or a £29.99 dress there. About 10 things every month. It means that in the past year I’ve invested nearly £4,000 in my wardrobe. That’s one-tenth of my house deposit. There is no logic to my buying. It is lust driven. Sporadic. Every January, I say I’m going to curate a wardrobe full of basic pieces. But I never do. The most devastating thing is that I hate most of my clothes. It causes a 20-minute panic every morning. So I hunted down a qualified expert, Professor Karen Pine, author of Mind What You Wear: The Psychology Of Fashion. Turns out it’s a serious business. On the phone she tells me, “Clothes affect how we think and feel. We can put on something that makes us happy but if we feel what we are wearing isn’t right, it can depress us all day.” When she mentions ‘emotion regulation’ in regard to clothes, it all starts to fall into place. So here’s where I need to dig deep. I believe my obsession with clothes stems from being bullied at primary school from the age of nine. I’m 33 years old now and it is still having ramifications. It’s not that

“I didn’t conform to their idea of cool. And so, ever since, I have tried to fit in by looking good”


READ

I dressed badly – when I look at pictures now, I’m quite impressed with my Dr Martens, chokers and checked shirts. I had a strong identity for someone who hadn’t even reached their first decade in life. But it was not what was cool in the eyes of the girls who bullied me. It didn’t help that I hung around with a boy who was deaf (they could smell the vulnerability a mile off) and that I was obsessed with Take That (still am). In fact, now I think about it, my fashion sense back then was pretty much inspired by Mark Owen circa 1992. According to this group of five girls, to be worth anything, you could only listen to Michael Jackson. I remember them once surrounding me in the playground and repeatedly shouting “Michael Jackson”. Basically, I was different. I didn’t conform to their idea of cool. And so, ever since, I have tried to fit in by looking good. Thankfully, secondary school was an easier ride and I made a great group of friends. But then I started earning money, aged 15, through a well-paid Saturday job (£6 an hour was a big deal back in 1998) in a local clothing boutique where I got a 40% discount… Well, you can guess the rest. Most of my wages would be gone before the end of my shift. If I had a party to go to, I’d hit up Topshop after school. And even though I wore a school uniform, my shoes were Faith’s finest – and highest – heels, and I had the most fashionable jacket possible, even though most pupils wore schoolstandard black raincoats. The first time I kissed a boy was at his 16th birthday, when I was 15. He was from a cool group at another school. Boys had never noticed me before but for this occasion I’dbought a skimpy blue velvet strappy top from Miss Selfridge and a pair of black skintight trousers from Bay Trading. I felt confident – I felt in control, I felt… lusted after. And I pulled.  When I went to university in Leeds in 2001, one of the very first things i C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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Best for...

Monday meeting Work drinks I didwasapply for a credit card. What an error. It was maxed out from buying clothes within months but, hey, those £100 stonewashed jeans with the bullet holes in, I’ve worn them hundreds of times, right? Never, actually. When I started my first job in London on the princely salary of £16,000, I couldn’t afford to eat some weeks, but that didn’t stop me shoving £150+ Karen Millen dresses on my credit card or investing in Topshop, Oasis and Dorothy Perkins store cards so I had new things to wear to all the exciting launches I got to go to as part of my job as an editorial assistant. These days, there’s a glimmer of hope because the money I spend comes out of my actual salary – I got rid of my credit card and store cards years ago. But, on a daily basis, I yearn for the dream wardrobe that will solve all my problems and make my life easier. And,

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Interview quite frankly, it’s way past time I stopped thinking like this because it is exhausting and expensive – and I am now 33. I’m a proper grown-up; I have a long-term boyfriend, I’m in the process of trying to get a mortgage, I have a great job and I have a firm identity. I need to stop tethering that identity to what outfit I am wearing. So, last month, my editor and I decided that I should pack up my countless clothes and live in a capsule wardrobe for four weeks – no visiting Zara for a cheeky purchase either. I was craving the ease of being limited to a few key items. My job as Cosmopolitan’s entertainment director is very busy – I travel a lot, commute for two-anda-half hours every day, and have a hectic social life – so I hoped that not having to worry about what to wear every day would make life less stressful. My last job was at a fashion magazine and I had always admired the way the

Date night

fashion editor there dressed. I remember her telling me that she only ever had 15 items of clothing in her wardrobe at one time, it was just about styling them right. She always looked great and, most importantly, effortless and secure in her style. Similarly, I’ve always admired Gwyneth Paltrow’s style, and she lives in a capsule wardrobe, apparently. Could I do it? Cosmopolitan’s fashion director Amy Bannerman advised that I needed 12 items of clothing and three pairs of shoes. In some ways it was the dream, but it also meant I wouldn’t have anything new to wear for 31 days and would be seen wearing the same items at least twice a week. Think of the Instagram shame. Amy told me that neutral colours were key (no prints) so that everything could be interchangeable, and nothing should be particularly trend-led so that it would work


READ

Sunday brunch

Meet the parents Exhibition opening

whether you are 21 or 41. It was also important to go for quality. “If you’re going to get a trench, don’t get a £10 one from Primark,” says Amy. “It’s worth investing in classic pieces that will last. It’s also not just about getting, say, the first tux you see – shop around until you find the perfect one that suits your body shape, otherwise it will end up just being a filler piece.” With this in mind, I went for a Levi’s striped long-sleeved tee, black DL 1961 Instasculpt Skinny jeans, blue vintage Re/Done Levi’s The High Rise jeans, a Re/Done Hanes T-shirt, a Topshop trench, a navy LK Bennett wool coat, a blue ME+EM blouse, a Current/Elliott striped shirt, an H&M skirt, a Topshop Boutique little black

dress, a navy cashmere M&S men’s jumper, and a ME+EM tux. As for my feet, I went with a pair of Adidas Sambas, Jigsaw shoe boots and heeled Topshop boots. We worked out that there are more than 52 different ways to wear these clothes. My first week wearing it was during a business trip to New York. It made my life much easier when my jet-lagged brain had to choose what to wear in the morning because I had a uniform ready to go. It also meant I had to be more creative with the pieces, so I didn’t get bored. I’ve never worn a tux before in my life and I loved wearing it with trainers in the day and then dressing up the trousers with the jacket and heels for the evening. When I returned to

“I had to be more creative with the pieces, so I didn’t get bored”

A night at the local London, I found that getting ready for work was so much easier. But it was when I was going out that I almost came unstuck. I often meet friends for drinks after work in the week, meaning that when I saw them at the weekend, I had to sometimes recycle looks. Then there were the logistics of keeping it all clean. Some of the items needed to be handwashed, others were dry-clean only, so to wear things twice in a week, I really had to be organised. But, all in all, I feel better and, in one month, I only broke once when I bought a short floral dress from Zara for my best friend’s birthday drinks. I’ve since streamlined my wardrobe, giving some to a charity shop (as well as Cosmopolitan’s features intern) so I can go on living, to a degree, like this. Hopefully, it means my life will be a lot simpler, I’ll be in my dream house before the year is out, and my mum’s ceiling will survive a few more years. i C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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M&S cashmere makes life easy because it’s machine washable.

What I’ve learned... One month in, this is Lottie’s guide to styling out a capsule wardrobe IRL. No boredom, guaranteed

Go for a shirt that's versatile enough to be worn backwards. Yes, really. The key is to pick a style that doesn’t have any detail on the back. Play around with how many buttons you have undone, but it does look great only doing up the lower three for a modern sexy take.

Fancy a cashmere scarf but payday is a long way off? Loop your sweater around your neck. This is also great if you know you’ll be out all day and will need another layer in the evening.

Always go down two sizes in jeans. They should feel uncomfortably tight for at least two days if they’re the correct size. Sounds mad but it’s true, we promise. A pair of jeans that fits well on the stomach is essential for the front tucking of sweaters or shirts.

A bit bored of your trench? Swap the trench’s tie belt for a leather number that has more detail and a different feel. Buy one longer than standard so you can knot or tie it in an interesting way.

Not all blue shirts are created equal. H&M do great ones in loads of different styles every season. The lightness of the fabric makes layering pieces over the top much easier, and you’ll also see a hint of bra, which makes it more Carine Roitfeld, and less Carol from accounts.

Jeans under dresses? Yes, it’s a thing. Just make sure the dress is loose so the detail on the jeans doesn’t show through. A wrap style works perfectly and means you can even wear it as a coat – you heard it here first.

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Leaving your shirt undone? Pick a plunge bra with lacy detail. This is the best shape as it doesn’t push up or flatten down. A black bra is the best colour for cost per wear as it will go with everything, even worn under a white T-shirt.

… And what I wore Levi’s T-shirt, £35; DL 1961 Instasculpt Skinny jeans, £206; vintage Re/Done Levi’s The High Rise jeans, around £208; Re/Done Hanes T-shirt, £61; Topshop trench, £110; LK Bennett coat, £395; ME+EM blouse, £185; Current/Elliott shirt, £190; H&M skirt, £29.99; Topshop Boutique dress, £75; navy cashmere Marks & Spencer jumper, £89; ME+EM tuxedo, £384; Adidas trainers, £54.95, Jigsaw shoe boots, £158; Topshop boots, £79

FASHION DIRECTOR AMY BANNERMAN. HAIR AND MAKE-UP EMILY-JANE WILLIAMS, USING RODIAL MAKE-UP AND FUDGE HAIR. FASHION ASSISTANT BETHANY FERNS

But if you’re busty, head to the men’s department because the jumpers are longer and more generous in the cut. Then you can layer it over a dress and belt it. Very Prada S/S 17, darling.


She can sell out music arenas in minutes and is rumoured to be worth around £30 million – and right now someone you know is transforming their body with her help. Meet Kayla Itsines Words CATRIONA INNES

Meet

the most

POWERFUL woman in

fitness


READ

A

sweltering hot day in the summer of 2014. This is when I first heard Kayla Itsines’ name. A colleague turned to me and insisted that I follow her Instagram feed – “She completely changes bodies!” my deskmate gushed. I was dubious. In a previous incarnation I worked for Weight Watchers magazine; for three and a bit years my job was to sift through the hundreds of ‘success story’ submissions we received daily – I would say things like, “Oh, she only lost three stone, I need a seven or eight loss,” while failing to shift any weight myself. I’d become almost immune to body transformations. But Kayla’s feed was unique. Those devoted to her were following her Bikini Body Guides – downloadable PDFs featuring a series of 28-minute HIIT workouts with accompanying diet plans. Kayla’s profile largely comprised before and after shots of normal women taking selfies of themselves, underwear clad, in their bedroom mirrors. And while, undoubtedly, these women had shed pounds, their bodies had also been moulded into something different, something stronger. These were not ‘put on your old jeans and hold the waistband out’ transformations;

this was flat bums being lifted, the unveiling of six-packs, and arms turning into guns. Today this is nothing new, our feeds are full of this stuff; but this was before Strong Not Skinny: fitness classes were more Zumba-style cardio than weight training and the discussion that surrounded women’s bodies was a completely different playing field. So, was the woman behind it all aware of the revolution she was creating? “It was really rare at the time,” says Kayla, casting her mind back as we chat one evening. “It wasn’t about weight loss, it was about feeling good and being healthy… I wasn’t saying you need to eat this or that. Everything else out there was lose weight now.” Her approach clearly resonated. Kayla released her Bikini Body Guides in January 2014, and the website crashed that very day, such was the demand for what she was offering. Those guides have since evolved into the fitness app Sweat With Kayla, which has now overtaken My Fitness Pal in Apple’s health and fitness chart. At the time this magazine went to press, Kayla had 5.9 million Instagram followers – more than Gwyneth Paltrow and The Biggest Loser trainer Jillian Michaels combined. Her website now stocks a range of equipment; plastic water bottles and bright pink foam rollers, all emblazoned with Kayla’s signature. For the past two years she’s been on a world tour of stadiums usually reserved for rock stars, offering bootcamps to thousands of fans across the globe (she recently played

The Rose Bowl; Beyoncé was there two months earlier). Her latest move is the release of a book – The Bikini Body 28-Day Healthy Eating & Lifestyle Guide – which, she tells me, mainly comprises “the sort of recipes I grew up eating at my grandparents’ house”. There’s no doubt about it, Kayla is a brand. But, she insists, all of the above wasn’t planned. In fact, when she first joined Instagram, arguably the biggest platform for her success, she had no idea how to even use it. Her cousin suggested she get on it back in 2012, when she was working as a personal trainer at a women’s-only gym. “I thought my photos were just for friends,” she says. “People just started following… It was a bit of a fluke.” As for the Bikini Body Guides that are now synonymous with her name? She “didn’t think anybody would be interested in [them]”. They were the suggestion of her boyfriend Tobi Pearce – also a personal trainer and now her business partner – after Kayla expressed how upsetting she found turning away clients. “I wanted to train everyone myself,” she says. “The guides just took off. I didn’t even know it was getting around as fast as it was.” It doesn’t seem believable, does it? Success like hers doesn’t just happen. Especially not at such breakneck, profit-commanding speed: Kayla has just been named the fourth richest young woman in her native Australia, and is rumoured to be worth £29 million. Yet money is not something that she is willing to talk about – all questions I have on the subject are removed byher publicist beforehand, and in a recent profile on Bloomberg i

“It wasn’t about weight loss, it was all about feeling good”

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(the businessand markets website) it is suspiciously absent. So what was it about her, among the countless other PTs on Instagram, that struck gold? Kayla doesn’t come from money or a family of hustlers. Both her parents are teachers, and she grew up playing basketball with her dad, thinking she would eventually follow in their footsteps. “I was super sporty, I loved any sport I could play – I had my little sisters who I used to play with in the back yard,” she says, excited by the memory. “I really got it into my head that I wanted to be a PE teacher, that’s what led me to personal training. I loved it straight away.” If you’re trusting your health to someone, you want them to practise what they preach – something Kayla has done consistently even before burpeeing into the spotlight. She doesn’t drink, lives 10 minutes away from her family, still trains her regular clients and spends her downtime walking her two huskies. Her blatant ‘normality’ is part of her charm and there’s a distinct lack of ego within her social media channels – they’re full of inspirational quotes and proud collages of her ‘girls’, all scattered with heart-eye and bicep emojis. Any photos of her are either selfies with her aforementioned huskies taking up the majority of the frame or just pictures of her body, clad in sportswear, her face almost cut out. “I don’t know if you’ve seen other pages?” says Kayla, when I ask what she thinks the secret behind her success could be. She sounds shy, as if she’s careful not to offend anyone. “It’s not about just me or my life.

a completely normal occurrence for her. “I just want to be able to make them feel like I’m their friend.” Written down, this all seems a little I think that any woman could go on trite – like it was just included in there and see someone and be like, order to portray this carefully crafted ‘Oh, my body was like that, my story everywoman image that sells. The was like that.’ That’s cynic inside me doesn’t want to believe how it spread.” her. But she just comes across as so Now those following genuine. She’s like your nicest friend, Kayla’s plan keep in touch via hashtags – her who won’t say anything bitchy about devotees call themselves anyone, despite your best persuasion. And this works – it really is hard her ‘Army’ and find to find any dirt on Kayla at all. I chat each other using #BBG, to a few following the plan and they #BBGProgress and all use the same words to describe #BBGCommunity; her: ‘humble’, ‘genuine’ and ‘kind’, her fans use them as enthusing about how she’s changed a method to meet up their lives. Even on Gomiblog.com and work out together – an online forum pretty much – meet-ups that Kayla herself will devoted to tearing down internet often crash, causing mass hysteria. stars (Gomi stands for Get Off It’s an undeniably brilliant tool for My Internet) – I struggle to find market research. But these, she says, much criticism. were created by the That’s not to say community: “I just go Kayla’s ascent has along with whatever been controversy the girls create.” free. Her Bikini It’s the same story Body Guides amassed with her app – “They The number of women a torrent of criticism [her followers] said in Kayla’s Army for their name, which why don’t you create an many said shunned app? So we did. They certain body types. gave us the ideas, so…” Instagram posts Kayla went on to Kayla’s closeness to under #bbgprogress say it was a decision her fans is evident. she regretted. “I didn’t They’re mentioned think it would be in every single answer a global thing when with Kayla laughing Twitter followers I first released each time she has to them,” she says to cite them as the reason me on the furore. behind her launches. “I understand how “This is my life!” she YouTube subscribers that name could says. “I just go to them be misconstrued. and they tell me what That’s why the app they want!” is called Sweat – At one point she World records she broke in it’s just a really mentions she’s spent an one day for people doing empowering word.” hour that day on the exercise together phone to a BBG devotee who was struggling. The anecdote sounds like

“It’s reassuring to know that there is a steely side to her”

KAYLA BY NUMBERS

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minutes: how long it took her London live date to sell out


KAYLA’S DAY ON A PLATE

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Breakfast: Poached egg with kale and feta Morning snack: Chocolate raspberry smoothie

Then, in 2015, she lodged a complaint (which was later settled out of court) against the YouTube fitness star Leanne Ratcliffe (also known as Freelee The Banana Girl, who once famously advised eating 51 bananas in a day) after she claimed that Tobi ‘injected steroids’ and Kayla ‘starved her fans’. Ratcliffe was then legally barred from making disparaging statements about Kayla online.

think I can do this’. He Lunch: Chicken in a reminded me wholemeal wrap with that ‘these girls lettuce and tzatziki are relying on you everyday for Afternoon snack: Baked crisps (made out of your posts’. I just wholemeal wraps) and sat down and cannellini bean dip said ‘I’ve got to be strong.’” Dinner: Grilled salmon with If Kayla’s fans rice and courgette salad are the fuel for her success, boyfriend and business partner Tobi is most certainly the fire. All chiselled cheekbones and bulging biceps, Tobi now works full-time as CEO of Pearce & Co – the digital marketing agency that supports Kayla’s brand, with Kayla named as Director. He’s mentioned in her Instagram bio and introduces her on stage, but is largely the silent partner of the duo (apart from hitting headlines recently for parking his Lamborghini in a number of unsuitable spots around Adelaide, including a disabled parking zone). The tech end of the business, she says, is Tobi’s domain. “He loves that side of it all… I’ll say, ‘This girl had this recommendation for the apps,’ and he’ll say, ‘Yes, we can do that’.” She then proudly tells me about his double degree, and when I ask her who her business inspiration is, she replies, “Tobi.” Before our interview, I wanted to find a formula behind Kayla’s success; It’s reassuring to know that there is a steely side to her that is unleashed a steely business plan hidden by wideeyed enthusiasm. But it seems the key if anyone attacks her family or fans. has been in plain sight all along – it’s “I’m very protective. Growing with all down to her being herself and these girls and seeing their journeys, listening to her fans – with a bit of it’s like they are my family,” she says. Tobi’s savvy business nous thrown in. “I got really upset when people She set about wanting to help people, were saying stuff about them [in the and has ended up helping millions. comments section] and it got to the ÅThe Bikini Body 28-Day Healthy point where I said to Tobi, ‘I don’t Eating & Lifestyle Guide by Kayla Itsines (Bluebird, £18.99) i C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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Kayla’s total

tone-up

Sticking to those resolutions just got one step easier easier. KAYLA ITSINES haas devised this fullbody workout exclusively for Cosmopolitan…

INSTRUCTIONS Set your timer for seven minutes and complete 7 the intervals in both mins parts of Circuit One (arms and abs) as many times as you can before the alarm goes off. Now you can have a 30-second rest – but don’t get too comfortable because it’s time for seven minutes of Circuit Two. Sweating? Yep, that just means it’s working. You should aim to complete each exercise as quickly as possible, but make sure that you’re maintaining proper technique throughout. If you find you’re struggling, try to practise the moves first at a slower pace before doing a full workout. Done Circuit Two? Don’t think you’re done there, repeat both these circuits again. It’ll be worth it, we promise.

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CIRCUIT ONE THE ARMS

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Snap push-up

CCross mountain t i climber li b

Place both hands on the floor, slightly further than shoulder width apart, and both feet together behind you, resting on the balls of your feet. Perform a normal high push-up, with your arms straight and your hands placed outside of your shoulders. 2 Now jump both your feet in towards your hands, ensuring that your hands remain shoulderwidth apart. Keeping your body weight on your hands, kick both of your feet backwards into the starting position. 3 That’s one rep – now do nine more. You got this.

1 Place both hands on the floor, shoulder width apart and both feet together behind you, resting on the balls of your feet. 2 Keeping your left foot on the floor, bend your right knee and bring it into your chest and towards your left elbow. Bring your leg back to the start. 3 Repeat, bending on the left side, bringing your left knee to your right elbow. 4 Continue alternating between right and left for 40 repetitions, gradually increasing your speed. Then it’s straight on to the abs circuit next door…

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CIRCUIT ONE THE ABS

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CIRCUIT TWO THE LEGS

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Straight leg sit-up & twist Start by lying straight out on the floor, with your legs straight in front of you and your hands behind your earlobes. 2 Do a regular sit-up, and as you do so extend your right arm and twist over to the left of your body. Slowly untwist and lower down. 3 Repeat on the other side. Continue, alternating for 10 reps per side. Getting sweaty yet?

Broad oad jump

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Ab bike 1 Start by lying flat on your back with your feet extended out in front of you. Gently raise both feet, your head and your shoulder blades off the floor, keeping your hands by your temples. 2 At the same time, extend your right leg so it’s approximately 45° from the floor and bring your left knee into your chest. Repeat on the other side. This creates a pedalling/bike-like motion. 3 To make it tougher, incorporate an upper-body twist by raising your shoulder towards your opposite knee. Go on alternating between left and right for 30 reps.

Reverse lunge & knee lift 1 Plant both feet on the floor, slightly further than shoulder width apart. Carefully take a big step backwards with your right foot. As you plant your foot on th e floor, bend both knees to a 90° angle. Ensure that your weight is distributed evenly between both legs. 2 Transfer your weight completely onto your left foot by extending both knees while lifting your right foot and bringing your knee to your chest. 3 Place your leg back on the floor behind you. Do 10 on this side, before switching to the left.

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Sumo squatt jump 1 Begin in a sumo squat, with both feet on the floor further than shoulder-width apart and your knees bent so they point out toward your toes. Continue bending your knees until your upper legs are parallel with the floor. Make sure your back remains between 45° and 90° to your hips. 2 Propel your body upwards into the air. 3 Extend both your legs and your hips before landing back into sumo squat position. When landing, ensure that you maintain ‘soft’ knees to prevent injury. Repeat 10 times. Almost there!

1 Start in a low squat position. Looking straight ahead, ensure that your back remains between a 45° and 90° angle to your hips. 2 Jump up and forward. Land back in squat position. When landing, ensure that you maintain ‘soft’ knees to prevent injury. 3 Repeat 20 times. Keep breathing!

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Outward snap jump 1 Place both your hands on the floor slightly further than shoulder width apart, legs straight, with both feet together behind you, resting on the balls of your feet. This is your starting position. 2 Quickly jump both feet outwards so that they are wider than your hips. Then jump both feet inwards to bring them back together into starting position. 3 Continue alternating between feet together and feet apart 20 times. Yep, don’t worry we were totally knackered, too. ◆

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Meet the most fanc STEFAN 26, MODEL AND TV PRESENTER Time on Tinder: 2 years Matches a day: 20 Number of first dates: 5

RYAN 27, FINANCIAL CONSULTANT Time on Tinder: 3 years, 7 months Matches a day: 4 Number of first dates: 18

CRESSIDA 23, FASHION MARKETEER Time on Tinder: 1 year, 6 months Matches a day: 6 Number of first dates: 4


ied people in the UK ARTHUR 19, MUSICIAN Time on Tinder: 1 year, 6 months Matches a day: 6 Number of first dates: 3

What is it that takes you from ‘meh’ to match? Cosmopolitan catches up with the most right-swiped men and women on Tinder to find out Words CLARE THORP Photographs ANTONIO PETRONZIO

s biographies go, it’s not the most extensive. London, fine art, fashion marketing. Those five short words are the entirety of Cressida Barrett’s Tinder profile, the romantic shop window she’s set up for herself on the ubiquitous dating app. Other than the standard information, she lets a handful of pictures do the talking. “I think quite hard about the photos I put up,” she tells me. “They say you judge someone within the first seven seconds of seeing them.” In fact, some psychologists think we make our minds up in just one tenth of a second. There’s a photo of her roller-skating, another at Notting Hill Carnival. One shows her in a bikini and sunglasses, another in a chic wrap dress. Together, they paint an image of someone fun, adventurous and sociable who likes to travel, but works hard (and let’s not forget the obvious, she is very pretty). You wouldn’t be surprised to discover she does well on the app. Except she does more than well. Cressida, it turns out, is one of the three most rightswiped women on Tinder in the UK. I know this because Tinder has given Cosmopolitan exclusive access to the most right-swiped men and women in the UK, revealing the identities of the most fancied people in the country for the very first time. This is a group who share i

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LOUI 26, ENTREPRENEUR Time on Tinder: 2 years Matches a day: 1 Number of first dates: 8

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little in common looks-wise, but who have turned virtual heads more than anyone else – and I want to find out why. For those who somehow don’t know, a right swipe on Tinder is the cyber equivalent of someone sidling up to you in a bar, buying you a drink and asking for your number. Since it’s debut four years ago, Tinder has revolutionised the way millennials look for love – and lust – with an estimated 50 million active users worldwide. Every day 26 million matches are made – leading to 1.5 million dates around the world every week. Tinder won’t release exact figures for UK users, but you only need to look at your friends’ phones to see the ubiquity of that little red flame icon. Which makes becoming one of the top swiped people on the app especially impressive. How does it feel? “Obviously it makes you happy, it’s a very pleasant feeling,” says Cressida. “I knew I got attention on it – but had no idea of the extent.” She first downloaded the app just over a year ago. “When I first joined, I swiped right a lot and got a lot of matches straight away. I found it overwhelming. My phone would ping constantly.” She’s since got more picky – only swiping right on men she sees a genuine possibility with (she goes for “tall, dark and handsome – and I like it if they’re doing something active in their photos”) – so her match rate has gone down, though she still gets “about 10 a day”. Her selective swiping means she had no idea of the number of people queuing up to woo her – as the app’s double opt-in function meansboth i

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JADE 24, INTERNAL RECRUITER Time on Tinder: 2 years Matches a day: 5 Number of first dates: 13

STEPHEN 27, BUSINESS CONSULTANT Time on Tinder: 18 months Matches a day: 15 Number of first dates: 10


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HOLLY RICH

RODNEY

28, SINGER/SONGWRITER Time on Tinder: 2 years Matches a day: 6 Number of first dates: 10

22, SPORTS STUDENT Time on Tinder: 3 years Matches a day: 15 Number of first dates: 3

21, FILM STUDENT AND MODEL Time on Tinder: 8 months Matches a day: 10 Number of first dates: 1


parties have to swipe right on each other before they’re put in touch. Tinder says it means women feel less harassed and men feel less rejected. But, crucially, it also means first impressions are vital. If someone doesn’t tickle your fancy immediately, they don’t get a chance to win you over with their chat – and you’ll never hear or see from them again. Jade Orvis is another of Tinder’s most swiped-right women. The 24-year-old, who works in recruitment, joined Tinder two years ago after coming out of a long-term relationship, and has been on “20 or 30 dates”. She right-swipes “about one in 10” people, spending 20 minutes a day on the app, usually on the sofa in front of the TV after work. “I like to see a bit about their life – a friendship group or a hobby. I find that most people I swipe, I match with.” Tweaking her profile has helped up her success rate, she thinks. She’s now got a mix of photos, “one of me at work, one with my dog, with my horse, one with friends, and a selfie”. Her bio also links to her Instagram, and has her favourite quote, from self-help book The Secret. It reads, “Change your thoughts and you change your world.” “I want to give the right impression to attract the kind of guy I’m looking for,” she explains. Has it worked? “The quality of messages I get has definitely got better. I feel like people want to get to know me more.” She starts chatting with “eight out of 10” of her matches – but is put off by opening lines like ‘Hey. You OK?’. “I don’t like loads of compliments either – they make me feel awkward.” As in-house sociologist for Tinder, Dr Jessica Carbino spends her life trying to figure this stuff out, studying what makes us more or less likely to be attracted to someone online. Her research throws up random findings like the fact that you’re 14% more likely to get a right swipe if you’re smiling with your teeth

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showing. “You’re signalling that you’re kind, warm and approachable,” she says. Wearing glasses can reduce your chances of a right swipe by 12%. “Seeing the iris gives us clues as to whether you can be trusted.” “People that wear colour have a better chance of making an impression – but 72% of users wear neutrals like navy, beige, black and grey. Facing the camera in your photos also makes you 20% more likely to get a positive reaction.” This could be the case with 21-yearold Holly Mattar, who also made the top three, and whose profile picture features her in a bright blue dress, her long blonde curly hair falling over her shoulders. “I think it’s my hair that makes me stand out,” she says. “But I also select my photos really carefully. I like to include ones of me on holiday as I want people to think I have a fun life.” It seems mad that these tiny things make a difference, but Dr Carbino says whenever we look at a photo, we’re solving a puzzle about what that person is really like. Psychologists call this ‘thin-slicing’ – where we make quick decisions based on very limited information. In the age of dating apps, where our romantic fates are based on a handful of photos, we are utilising this skill more than ever – so choosing photos that show off your personality accurately is vital. That’s the crucial part. When we look at someone’s pictures, we’re not just deciding how good they look – but why they choose the photos in the first place. “One of the big changes in the role of attractiveness is that, in the world of dating apps, it’s now appearance management, rather than just physical appearance,” says Viren Swami, a professor of social psychology at Anglia Ruskin University. What we’re judging is how we edit that image, so the images we include speak silent volumes. “We’re making assumptions about someone’s personality and

JAY 30, MODEL AND PERSONAL TRAINER Time on Tinder: 4 years Matches a day: 5 Number of first dates: 6

whether we think we’ll get on with them.” Fun, sociable and friendly is good – full of yourself or try-hard isn’t. A study by the University of Iowa found that profiles with a high level of ‘selective self-presentation’ (so perfectly posed and highly filtered images) were deemed less socially attractive and trustworthy. In other words, braggers are a total turn-off.


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DANIEL 34, GAMING COMPANY DIRECTOR Time on Tinder: 6 months Matches a day: 5 Number of first dates: 15

TOM 27, EVENTS COMPANY OWNER Time on Tinder: 1 year, 2 months Matches a day: 10 Number of first dates: 5

“I don’t like men with loads of selfies,” adds Holly. “It makes them seem really self-obsessed.” You might be a dead ringer for Gigi Hadid, but if your photos are all black-and-white selfies and pictures of you glugging champagne on a yacht, you’ll be swiftly dismissed by someone looking for a down-toearth girl to share a Sunday roast with.

“Individuals that do well on Tinder are not necessarily the most attractive people in the room,” says Dr Carbino. “They’re ones who are creating a profile that presents an authentic self, and then go about matching with people who they believe will be compatible.” In fact, being too good-looking could work against you. “On apps,

there is a trade-off with being too attractive,” says Professor Swami. “One of the assumptions that people make is that if you’ve got a really amazing photograph, everyone is sending you messages, so why should they bother?” The word ‘approachable’ keeps coming up when I speak to these Tinder superstars – both in terms of why they think they’re successful, and what they’re looking for in others. Stephen Ski joined Tinder in the summer of 2015, after coming out of a three-year relationship. Finding out he was one of the most right-swiped was unexpected. “I had no idea how my profile compared to other guys until I was with a couple of female friends looking at their Tinder accounts. I was intrigued to see what guys were putting on there and I was pretty shocked. Topless photos, pictures of animals… it made me think maybe I’m just a bit more genuine.” So what does he look for? “I don’t like people who show off too much,” he says. “I look for women who are friendly. If they’re smiling in their picture, that automatically appeals, but I also like it if something stands out. I like an adventurous person – maybe if there was a picture of them wakeboarding or something.” When I ask Loui Blake, 26, why he thinks he’s one of the most rightswiped, he also says it’s probably because “I’m quite approachable and not posing in pictures. If someone seems standoffish, it prevents people from reaching out.” He’s been single for four years, on Tinder for two – and uses it to meet new people, romantically or otherwise. “People think Tinder is just a dating app, but I’ve made a lot of friends through it.” Loui’s pictures show him suited up and dressed down, with his many tattoos on show. “I recently put that I’m vegan in my profile and thought it would put a few people off but it didn’t. I’ve also got the word ‘wizard’ in there – I’m not sure why.” But both i C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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Dr Carbino and Professor Swami tell me that in such a large pool of people, standing out from the crowd is key. Once you’ve created your profile, you can’t control who swipes you – or even who sees you. That’s down to the Tinder algorithm, and Dan Gould, Tinder’s vice president of technology, is the man at the wheel of it. Is there any way of cheating the algorithm and upping your chances? “We have a system that tries to level out matches, and we try to make sure you’re shown to all sorts of people,” he says. His one tip is to log in a lot. “If you regularly open the app throughout the day, and do even just a tiny bit of swiping, then we’ll prioritise you.” He also urges people to “swipe accurately” so the system learns what you’re looking for. So say yes to one rugby player, and you’ll unlock the door to the whole of the local league? Not quite, he tells me. “We like to expose you to a huge mix of people, but steer you to ones that are more relevant to you.” But doesn’t an algorithm take the romance out of modern courtship? It’s hardly Brief Encounter. “I actually think it brings back some of the romance compared to traditional online dating sites,” he says. “The theory behind Tinder is it’s like showing up at a bar. There are all sorts of people on it for you to meet. You can find this person that you never would have thought would be your perfect partner, start talking to them, and all of a sudden there is a connection.” Except once you find your match, there’s no guarantee they’ll talk to you. According to research, 66% of users have matched with someone and never messaged them. Sometimes it’s simply stage fright, says Stephen. “There might be someone I’ve matched with who seems really cool, but I can’t think of a good thing to say to start chatting.” Dr Carbino says this is an issue – but it’s easily solved. “The one thing I tell people to include in their profile is information that will start a conversation – things that are unique

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to you. Individuals who ask a question are pretty successful because they’re providing an easy way to start talking.” Even if you’ve got loads to say to each other online, there’s no guarantee of attraction. “It’s still impossible to predict chemistry,” says Professor Swami. “One of the strongest predicters is similarities or interests and values. The more similar two people are to each other, the more likely they are to form a stable relationship.” When it comes to meeting in person, our Tinder superstars tell me they’ve had mixed fortunes on dates – some good, some bitterly disappointing, some so awkward they left after 10 minutes. It’s heartening to know that even the most fancied people in the country are on the same romantic roller-coaster as the rest of us. I’d originally expected the most sought after people on Tinder to be a line-up of David Gandy and Karlie Kloss clones. These are a good-looking bunch, no doubt – but they don’t look unreachable. They’re funny, down-toearth, sociable, nice. Their secret is they’ve found a way of getting that across in a handful of pictures and words, while still seeming genuine. This – along with the fact that the most attractive humans in the UK are still single – is something we should all take hope from. ◆

COSMOPOLITAN &

Want to join the ‘most fancied’ club?

The pictures that pulled a nation: clockwise from top left: Stephen, Jade, Rodney, Ryan, Cressida, Loui, Daniel, Tom, Jay, Arthur, Stefan, Holly and Rich

Sure you do! And here’s your chance. Tinder’s in-house sociologist Dr Jessica Carbino (below) and Cosmopolitan’s Lottie Lumsden will be hosting a very special dating event at Cosmopolitan Towers on 7th February. Not only will you get to meet the team (and even appear in these very pages), but you’ll get a bespoke upgrade of your Tinder profile by Dr Carbino. Book your £15 ticket now. Visit Cosmopolitan.co.uk/ cosmoxtinder for details.

ADDITIONAL REPORTING JOSIE COPSON. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS DANNY LIAO. STYLING JARED GREEN. MAKE-UP AND HAIR CHARLOTTE GASKELL AND CASSIE STEWARD AT LHA REPRESENTS, BOTH USING NARS AND KEVIN MURPHY. PHOTOGRAPHY ASSISTANTS GEORGE EYRES, MAGDA SIWICKA. STYLING ASSISTANT LILY AUSTIN. HAIR AND MAKE-UP ASSISTANT NICOLA SMITH. ALL CLOTHES PARTICIPANTS’ OWN. WITH THANKS TO SPRING STUDIOS

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Curls A L L O W E D

Since the dawn of the hair straightener, curls have been rarer than a bad Chrissy Teigen selfie. But things are changing. From super-tight twists and skyscraper Afros to pillowy spirals and full on ringlets, stylists at the S/S 17 shows gave us every kind of curl imaginable. And whether you’re kinky or straight, there’s one for everyone W O R D S Becci Vallis S T Y L I N G Ingeborg van Lotringen P H O T O G R A P H S Elisabeth Hoff

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Curly Qs

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vs

What do you have to do to make natural curls look half decent? A Sad but true: for refined ringlets, a blow-dry and straightening sesh first is the surest route. It smoothes cuticles and seals the ends so when you do whip out the rollers, your bouff is more inclined to behave.

Will a diffuser leave me looking a bit Brian May? A “Regular dryer nozzles disrupt the curl pattern, but diffusers don’t because they spread the force of the air flow,” says stylist Hiro Miyoshi. “I like the Styling Finger Diffuser or the Hot Sock (a foam diffuser) – both fit on most dryers.” FYI, don’t go near a dryer until hair is 75% dry and do the ends last – they’ll be most damaged so the less heat on them, the less fuzz.

Q  

My curls go crispier than soft shell crab, why? A It’s likely to be your products – any that hold or lift tend to contain alcohol, which dries out already-dry curly hair. Same for shampoos with SLS (sodium lauryl sulfate) – the stuff behind the foam party. ‘Free from’ are the words to look out for, and say hola to oils. “Sweet almond, jojoba and baobab strengthen hair, detangle and protect from frizz without weighing it down,” says stylist Vernon François.

Q  

So, frizz: can you ever escape it? A Apply styling products in the shower when your hair’s wet (but not sopping). “If hair dries with cuticles unsealed by product, frizz forms,” explains Tippi Shorter, Aveda global artistic director. Always condition to the max – leave-ins, masks, oils. More moisture allows new hydrogen bonds to form, restoring the curl pattern and keeping hair fresh, not fried. And stop fiddling with your hair. You’ll ruffle the cuticle, which is asking for frizz!

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N AT U R A L LY STRAIGHT

Q  

Yeah, yeah, curls are in but we’re beginners – is there a one-style-suits-all option? A “The wavy curl (loose and textured – see what Melanie C has been doing recently for your visual cue) is by far the easiest to wear and style,” says Miyoshi. “Go full blowout, bed hair or DIY. Use tongs, then shake out your curls so they don’t look too ‘set’. If it goes wrong you can scoop hair up into a fierce ponytail with wavy ends.”

Q  

All this ‘brush to soften curls’ talk – surely that will leave me as fuzzy as Jeremy Clarkson? A “Not if you follow the 10-minute rule,” says hair stylist Kevin Murphy. “Wait that long after tonging and curls will set and soften naturally. Then gently stroke a wide-tooth comb through to loosen any rigid-looking Annie ringlets without triggering frizz.”

Q  

I want that crazy curl – you know, the tight one that spirals right from the root. Can it be mine? A “Usually you’ll have about a one- to two-inch gap at the roots where your fingers can’t physically reach to wind the hair around the barrel, so instead of struggling with your hair, roll the tong inwards towards your root instead,” recommends session stylist Paul Percival. Dividing hair into smaller sections will help too. Perseverance = prettiness.

Q  

How can I get my curls to last without industrial amounts of hairspray? A “Use structure products that give hold – if you have straight hair and don’t prep properly it’s inevitable your curls will fall flat. A volumising mousse on wet hair is every stylist’s go-to when we’re creating coils and curls that we need to stay put,” advises Shorter.

“Can’t. Stop. Touching them”


Edible frizz fighters… …and for once it’s not coconut oil

APPLE CIDER VINEGAR

CASTOR OIL

GELATIN

WTF? Filled with

WTF? The acidity breaks down old product residue – hello sparkly spirals. “Add one teaspoon to a cup of water and massage it into your hair and scalp. Leave for five to 10 minutes and rinse thoroughly. I swear by it,” says stylist Hiro Miyoshi.

keratin-boosting antioxidants and fatty acids, it stops moisture escaping from hair. “Use a 5p-size drop if applying it neat or mix with water in a bottle and spritz all over – no need to rinse,” advises stylist Vernon François.

WTF? Contains tiny reparative proteins that close hair cuticles to prevent frizz. “Dissolve a sachet in water, then use a wide-tooth comb to run it from root to tip on wet hair,” advises Gary Baker, global creative director at Unite haircare. Smooth. i

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Ditching the straighteners can make you this happy


Power players Pick and mix products with care to play your best curl game SHAMPOO Yes To Coconuts Dry Hair Ultra Moisture Shampoo, £5.99 As long as your shampoo’s sulphate-free and moisturising, you don’t have to scour the shelves for curlenhancing washes. Just by eliminating sulphates that strip away natural moisture, odds are you’ll get A* spirals. Tick.

Perfepctairings

MOUSSE Percy & Reed Abundantly Bouncy Volumising Mousse, £12 Mousse used to be just aerated gel – hence the crispy aftereffect – but it’s evolved into a light, fluffy foam. Percy & Reed used leave-in conditioner as a marker for how hydrating they wanted this to be. It’s the don.

Vernon François Co-Wash, £23.50 A non-foaming formula to replace your shampoo and conditioner. “Effective on all hair types, co-washes remove dirt and replace moisture,” says François. Beginner? Use weekly. Pro? Every three days.

HAIRSPRAY

SMOOTHING CREAM OPENING SPREAD: JUMPER, GOAT. PREVIOUS SPREAD: JUMPER, HOLLY FULTON FOR JOHN SMEDLEY. THIS PAGE: JUMPER, BRORA

Who got it right and who got it so very, very wrong…

’60s David Bowie Not the Starman’s best. Roll on Ziggy

CO-WASH

SPRAY OIL Batiste Stylist Hydrate Me Oil Mist, £4.49 Substitute frizz-triggering serum (which often contains silicone to do the smoothing) with a next-generation micromist. Much lighter, they prevent OTT application and add shine, not grease. Result!

Phytolaque Design Botanical Finishing Spray, £12.50 Hairsprays need alcohol to deposit the fixative ingredient on hair, but it’s drying, so a total Catch-22. This uses beetroot alcohol as a base that’s way less dehydrating and demanding on curls.

Umberto Giannini Weather Proof Curls Finishing Cream, £7 AKA finishing or defining cream, or enhancing lotion. Repels water so hair remains pouf-free. Buzz ingredients are stolen from skincare – hyaluronic acid and collagen.

SALT SPRAY

LEAVE-IN CONDITIONER

Schwarzkopf OSiS+ Soft Glam Air-Dry Salt Mist, £14.60 “These absorb oils and coat hair in salt that manipulates and changes the texture of hair as it dries, transforming it into defined waves,” says Richard Ashforth, OSiS+ ambassador.

John Masters Organics Green Tea & Calendula Leave-In Conditioning Mist, £24 Great for parched thick hair and equally brilliant for fine hair, leave-ins mix well with other styling products. Try some with salt spray…

’70s Farrah Fawcett Making poufy hair forever sexy

’80s Kylie Minogue Acceptable in the ’80s. And now

’90s Justin Timberlake The words poodle and punch perm spring to mind

’00s Christina Aguilera We love you, Xtina, but no

PRIMING LOTION

CONDITIONER Dove Quench Absolute Ultra Nourishing Conditioner, £5.99 Curly hair is drier as the scalp produces less sebum – if you’re naturally curly, invest. Otherwise, oilbased products will glue open hair cuticles back together.

A-LIST WIND-UP

Pairs well with all products

Fudge Curve Recovery, £14.95 Makes ends and mid-lengths less porous (= frizzy), and blocks grime and humidity that cause curls to go as limp as a wet lettuce. Primers also masquerade as creams and balms. Just pick a texture. i

Now Solange Knowles All hail the Afro – especially this one

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We road-tested a brave new world of curling products. (Mainly for your amusement) BEF

ORE

AFTER

Beauty editor Becci meets the S P I R A L WA N D “From flat to full-on Charlene Robinson, I was amazed a wand could replicate the ’80s perm. I loved it – no joke!”

BEF

ORE

AFTER

Weapons of conical construction Contributor Jo tries Trevor Sorbie’s D I G I TA L P E R M “Normally between the straight and curly camps, now my waves bounce back after washing – with zero frizz.”

O BEF RE

AFTER

All you really need to create catwalk-worthy curls is a heated styler and a steady hand… For tight curls

T H E W A N D BaByliss Tight Curls Wand, £25 Whatever the heat

T H E R O L L E R S Cloud Nine The O Pod, £109

Beauty writer Lucy embraces N AT U R A L R I N G L E T S “Fudge Professional’s Curve Recovery (£14.95) plus a dollop of mousse means my straighteners are OOO.”

BEF

ORE

For precision curls

T H E T O N G GHD Soft Curl Tong, £120

AFTER

T H E S T R A I G H T E N E R Remington Keratin Therapy Pro Straightener, £89.99

Intern Paige embraces her true TEXTURE “Perseverance and Wella’s EIMI 48 H Shape Me Memory Hair Gel (13.30) gave me confidence in my curls.”

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source, remember these rules… ✱ Instead of a toe-curlingly high heat, lower that dial and hold the tool in your hair for a little longer. It’s less damaging. ✱ Watch how you wind – each strand must make contact with the barrel. Wrap them on top of each other and you’ll end up with a hot mess. ✱ Resist the urge to titivate until your curls are cool to the touch – it’s like pressing fastforward on the frizz. ✱ Get dressed first. Any over-the-head action and your curls will be out of control. ◆

HAIR HEATH MASSI AT FRANK AGENCY, USING BEAUTY WORKS. MAKE-UP KENNETH SOH AT FRANK AGENCY, USING MAC. NAILS VERONICA BUTENKO, USING SALLY HANSEN. MODEL JESSICA CLARKE AT PREMIER. SENIOR FASHION EDITOR SAIREY STEMP. JACKET, MARC CAIN. SUNGLASSES, WESTWARD LEANING. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS ALPHA PRESS, GETTY IMAGES, HUBERT BOESL/FAMOUS, MARK WEISS/IDOLS, REX FEATURES, TCD/VP/LMK MEDIA

The curl project


C A N YO U

IT? Yes, you can – in S/S 17’s freshest looks straight off the catwalk S E N I O R F A S H I O N E D I T O R Sairey Stemp

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Topshop Unique Cut through the saccharine sweetness of ’80s fuchsia with some sexed-up PVC kecks Coat, £425; shirt (just seen), £135; trousers, £350; shoes, £115, all Topshop Unique. Earrings, £15, Topshop


Isabel Marant Start a one-woman William Morris fan club and clash your florals Top, £270; skirt (short), £330; skirt (long), £390, all Isabel Marant. Earrings, £128, Rodrigo Otazu

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Kenzo If your sleeves and your earrings aren’t massive, then your name’s just not on the Kenzo disco-party list, and you ain’t coming in Shirt, £405; skirt, £810; earrings, from a selection, all Kenzo


Elie Saab This dress is sure to knock every other one off the red carpet, or out of the club, or the party… or hell, anywhere! Dress and scarf, from a selection; earrings, £275; belt, £600, all Elie Saab. Sunglasses, £490, Linda Farrow


Max Mara James Bond called, he’ll meet you in the bar at 8pm. Don’t get changed Body, £370; leggings, £265; belt, £210; shoes, £540, all Max Mara. Sunglasses, £145, Westward Leaning. Sunglasses chain, £50, Framechain.co.uk

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Ashley Williams Ashley got the memo this season – big shoulders = big news Dress (with belt), £645; earrings, £190, all Ashley Williams

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Au Jour Le Jour It’s a jumpsuit and it’s sequined. What more could a girl possibly want? Oh yeah, a perfect Afro, of course Jumpsuit, £1,793, Au Jour Le Jour. Earrings, £99, Swarovski


Mulberry Oh Johnny Coca, how we love you, giving old favourite, the classic trench, an injection of sex appeal. If only you’d considered the early morning latte spillage too! Coat, £4,995; dress, £2,760; bag, £1,950; shoes, £450, all Mulberry. Sunglasses, £425, Linda Farrow

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Carven A PVC skirt over a dress? Yes you can and yes you will… Top, £190; dress (worn underneath), price on request; skirt, £460; choker, £80; shoes, price on request, all Carven

Hair Sven Bayerbach at Carol Hayes Management, using Balmain Hair. Make-up Ruby Hammer at Angeli & Co, using BareMinerals BarePro Foundation. Model Cheyenne at Elite London. Fashion assistant Maddy Alford

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WORDS JOSIE COPSON. PHOTOGRAPH DENNIS PEDERSEN

SINGLE? SETTLED? WE’VE GOT YOU COVERED

MORNING GLORY Thought the smell of a good fry-up was the best way to be woken up from catching your Zs? Not according to Rutgers University, which found that beginning your day with an (wait for it) orgasm was the most productive way to start your day. In a frankly mind-blowing academic study, the randy boffins found that orgasms were better at stimulating the whole brain than crossword puzzles, which were found to only stimulate ‘local’ regions of your grey matter. Don’t have an obliging partner? (Hey, who does?) Then consider the Little Rooster alarm clock vibrator (£69). Simply set your desired wake-up time, slip the device into your PJs, and let the 30 levels of vibration (27 of which are silent) give you a rude awakening.

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A D U LT N O N - F I C T I O N

MY T S R O W BEST SEX EVER WAS… when his penis ‘broke’ When bad sex happens to good people…

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with red food dye – only it was coming from my boyfriend’s penis. Gabriel’s face contorted with pain as he squirmed in silence, trying not to wake his family. I frantically whipped the sheet off the bed and tried to stem the blood flow, while I wondered how the hell we’d managed to break his cock. Then he began to go woozy – this shit was becoming too much for me to handle. So, with the absolute highest level of mortification surging through me, I had no choice but to call the one person who I knew could help: my mother. Mum being a GP did not make the conversation any less excruciating. As I explained the situation, it became clear what the problem was: Gabriel’s banjo string had broken as a result of going at it too hard, while I hadn’t been quite wet enough. Mum then went on to query why we hadn’t indulged in sufficient foreplay. Not a question I wanted to answer, really. Eventually the blood stopped and the pain eased up. Time to tackle the crime scene: as Gabriel lay in bed,

I thought back to every serial-killer documentary I’d ever seen and got a bucket of soapy water to scrub away any traces of evidence. We covered Gabriel’s penis with gauze, which I managed to sneak from the bathroom, and allowed it to heal over the next few weeks. Gabriel said he’d rather eat his own face than show a doctor – and definitely not my mum – his injury. We then walked back downstairs, as his family began to shuffle in from their naps, oblivious to the blood bath they’d just missed. As for my boyfriend’s pained expression? He had to fake stomach cramps from over-eating, as I tried to hold down polite conversation for the rest of the afternoon. I had no idea this could happen. These stories aren’t often whipped out over dinner. “Hey, I’m Jo* and – oh my god, seriously funny story – this one time I snapped my boyfriend’s penis and it looked like a scene from Carrie. Anyone for seconds?” Be safe out there. You have been warned.

“How the hell had we managed to break his cock?”

*NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED. PHOTOGRAPH GETTY IMAGES

Anyone who’s been in a relationship where you both live with family or friends will know that sometimes you have to think outside the bed when it comes to sex. I’d been with Gabriel* for four years and our sex life was problemfree (actually it was pretty fantastic), minus the fact I lived with my grandma and he with his mother. So when any opportunity arose for a quickie, we’d seize it with both hands. One day, after a family meal at his mum’s with about 10 of his relatives, everybody conked out for a nap. We decided that, instead of sleeping, we’d sneak up to Gabriel’s room and get down to it. Within minutes he had his face between my thighs and then began penetrating me so deeply, I had to bite my lip to stop myself from screaming. It was such a turn-on. But sadly, the euphoria wasn’t to last – within a few minutes a ‘popping’ sound came from down below, like a condom breaking. Then through gritted teeth, he whispered, “Something’s burning,” and pulled out. Cue: a spray of horror-movierivalling blood splattering all over the bed, the floor and my naked body. It was like a water sprinkler infused


WORST DATES EVER Hey, we’ve all been there…

On our fi first date, he invited me to a fetish club – and explained he’d bought me a latex dress for the occasion. When I declined, he told me how beautiful our kids would be. JOSEPHINE, 31

The first thing my Tinder date said was, “So... you’re misleadingly photogenic.” My reply? “Yeah, well, you said you’re 6ft and I can see the top of your head.”

He spent 20 minutes showing me photos of all the ‘cool’ items he’d fished out of public bins over the years. His favourite? A ‘barely touched’ Egg McMuffin. So. Grim. BISOLA, 30

ELENA, 25

He invited me to the ‘party’ he was throwing, except when I got there it was just him and two of his friends salivating at the idea of hanging out with a girl. I legged it after half an hour of tumbleweed.

HE TEXTED ME A MESSAGE MEANT FOR HIS MATE: “NOT TOO SHABBY. RECKON I’LL HAVE HER BACK TO MINE WITHIN THE HOUR.” LAUREN, 29

We went for coffee. He went to the bathroom... and never came back. BELLE, 28

AS TOLD TO JENNIFER SAVIN. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES

NICOLE, 18

After all my attempts to make conversation were shut down for an hour and a half, he highfived me saying, “Well, we’ve done the obligatory 60 minutes – shall we scrap this now?”

HE USED A GAME OF ‘NEVER HAVE I EVER’ TO TELL ME HE’D BEEN A STRIPPER… THEN HE POLE-DANCED IN THE BAR ‘TO PROVE IT’.

CAIT, 27

HELENA, 24

LAURA, 25 ✱ Got a dating nightmare to share? Email worstdatesever @cosmopolitan.co.uk

FERAL FAC CTOR OR HOLD H YOUR HORSES

After a couple of OK dates, we headed back to his for incredibly average sex. In the morning, he told his mum (and all her friends who were over) that I was his girlfriend as I tried to run for the hills.

CRAZY FROG

TOTAL PIG

OTTER LOSER

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e The teenag Mitch d Georgia an

“He was the one that everyone faancied””

AS TOLD TO JOSIE COPSON. PHOTOGRAPHS ANTONIO PETRONZIO. HAIR AND MAKE-UP EMILY-JANE WILLIAMS. GEORGIA AND MITCH ATE AT JOE ALLEN IN COVENT GARDEN (JOEALLEN.CO.UK)

Georgia Smith, 22, is a personal assistant from Ken nt I’ve known Mitch since I was 13. He played the guitar, was totally hilarious and sweet. Most of the boys our age were arseholes, but he was the one everyone fancied. When we were 15, the house parties started. We used to slip away and chat for hours – he seemed genuinely interested in every word I said. I loved that everyone else wanted him, but he was giving me all this attention. We ended up kissing at one party, and we texted a lot after that. My mum paid my contract and saw my bill. I got in so much trouble because I was messaging him every minute of the day when I was meant to be listening in class. We were official a month after our first kiss – we’d go to each other’s houses, or to the cinema or I’d see his band play. Once, during a gig, he said, “This one is dedicated to Georgia.” It was so cute. It did feel like love and we’d tell each other that all the time. But after just over a year together, he went to university in Brighton (he was smart, so went at 16). We were trying to organise a weekend when I could go and visit him, but we both kept cancelling. We’d both checked out of the relationship, so we ended it. It wasn’t dramatic or bitter. I was excited to see Mitch. When we were together, life was simple – I was just young and having fun. Our date reminded me of how that felt. We were sitting so close together Would you see him again? because of the restaurant While he’s very fanciable and layout, but it didn’t feel I care about him still, it’s definitely platonic – we won’t awkward at all – it never does be getting back together. with Mitch. In the end it just We’re doing different things felt like a catch-up with an and both enjoy being single. old mate – no more than that.

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Each month, we send two former lovers on a date to s what see h happens… h

“She h wass better than everyone else” Mitch Duce, 21, is a musician from Kent My best mate and I decided one day to invade the local girls’ school hangout in town. There were always a lot of pretty girls to flirt with, but Georgia stood out to me. She was so easy to talk to and was allways loved by everybody who met her. Fast forward two years and we went from being flirty f iends to falling in love. I turned to her at a party and said, fr “Want to make this more official?” I’m not a romantic guy “W but I wanted to show her how I felt, and so when she came bu o see my band perform, I dedicated our song Wave Machine to o Georgia. It had zero relevance to our relationship – to didn’t even write the lyrics – but I was 15 and trying to Id mpress the girl I thought I was in love with. She looked so im mbarrassed… I didn’t do that again. I also remember I wore em heer mum’s fluffy pink PJs on the night after her prom – her m mum said that was the only way I was allowed to sleep over (liike Georgia, her mum has an amazing sense of humour). did it because I was besotted. Id I left to go to university at 16, and it instantly felt like the nd. We never had a big argument, we just stopped talking. en Georgia said, “I think this is a problem”, and that was it. G Georgia raised the bar, and now girls I date have to be ntelligent, funny and beautiful. She also gave me a thing in for girls with dark hair. We had a real laugh and I was gutted fo he had to leave early. We sh nded the night with a hug, en Would you see her again? ut it didn’t go any further, bu The date made me realise how nd I was OK with that. an much I miss her. Hanging out 4 4Would you like to be reunited with your first love? re Em mail us at first.love@ cosmopolitan.co.uk. co

with her is easy, so I’m sure I’ll see her again – maybe at her mum’s 50th birthday party. I’ve already had my invite.

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BECAUSE LIFE’S ALL ABOUT THE 5-9

WORDS CATRIONA INNES. PHOTOGRAPH @INDULGENTEATS

PURPLE REIGN Sorry avocado, you’ve lost your crown. Instead say hello to the ube (pronounced ‘oo-bay’), which is all set to be this year’s most Instagrammed vegetable. Yes, on first glance it might not seem much, what with it being a member of the yam family and kind of looking like a grey potato. But add the centre of the vegetable to dishes and watch them miraculously turn bright purple. As for its taste? It’s been a central ingredient in Filipino cooking for years and has been compared to a blend of pistachio, white chocolate and vanilla – perfect for whipping into cheesecake, ice cream or, as NYC hot spot Manila Social Club did last year, the centre of doughnuts (causing hipster hysteria). Want a taste yourself? Grab the Halo Halo ice cream at Romulo Café, London, or hit up Orientaltreasure.co.uk for Giron Foods’ Powdered Purple Yam (£3.80) and add a teaspoon to your own baking. Next step: a campaign to make the ube into an emoji…

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DESIGN DOUBLES

It’s time to get stoned. Deck out your gaff with marble accents to hit a new stylish high

BLOWOUT

BUDGET

Table, £3,685, Knoll at SCP Clock, £219, Menu

Cutlery set, £90, Habitat

Cushion, £125, Penelope Hope

£135 te, Pla

, John De ria n

Clock, £60, Beut.co.uk

Storage pot, £22.50, House Doctor

Storage pot, £49, Hay Cutlery set, £32, Next

Vase, £510, Aerin at Amara.com Floor lamp, £1,507, The Conran Shop

COMPILED BY RORY ROBERTSON

Table, £459, Bluesuntree

Paint in Darkroom Black, £41.50 for 2.5l, Bert & May

Cushion, £26, A Splash Of Colour

£13, te, Pla

Royal Sta

ffo rd

Vase, £30, Design Project by John Lewis

Floor lamp, £299, Lights4living.com

Paint in Rich Black, £14 for 2.5l, Dulux

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WHAT’S

YOUR Forget whale music and ylang every room. These super can de-stress without a


SPA GOAL: WEIGHT LOSS

SPA  H

Time Farrah Storr went to 7 days find peace and emotional

restoration (plus ditch 2016’s 10lb stomach resident) at Austria’s new VIVAMAYR Clinic

ylang reed diffusers in spas get you fit, firm, and holistic cliché in sight

ere’s the thing about VIVAMAYR – it’s ostensibly about finding inner harmony and outer peace, but ask the passive faces at dinner what they’re really here for and they will whisper: to lose weight, of course. And so here I am, sitting in a white dressing gown, on my 40th chew of a buckwheat roll, in the hope that VIVAMAYR can sort the not insubstantial tyre that has gathered momentum (and circumference) around my waist since January 2016. I have been to the original Mayr before (there are three of them, by the way, dotted around Austria like sentry guards with weighing scales). It was four years ago. I was 12 months into my first gig as an editor and I was Ready, set, chew

cranky and bloated. It was a slightly retro place with pine cupboards and staff in lederhosen, not unlike an Austrian porn set, I imagine. I spent most of my week there asleep, rousing only to escape one night in a motor boat with a prominent MP and a gaggle of Norfolk housewives to stare at cakes in shop windows in a small town at the other end of the lake. It was hell. But a good hell. I lost 7lb in a week. And kept it off for a year. The MP now stares back at me from the news, as slim as a blade of grass. I haven’t fared so well. This is a new Mayr though – a flashier, prettier, younger sibling. Its name is VIVAMAYR for a start, which in itself suggests a substantial step change in the glamour stakes. They’ve gone easy on the pine. The rooms are large and have the requisite amount of luxury: flatscreen TVs, cosy balconies and lots of sexy low lighting in the bathrooms (presumably to best admire the progress of your rapidly shrinking body). And the location is a real dazzler. Slap-bang i

Hey, there are worse places to be hungry

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and wonderful things, whose purpose seriously, there’s probably no I did not understand, but which better place in the world Where they put I supplicated myself to. If you time to stare at people. Though you if you only it right, you can also get a slot with VIVAMAYR is not stupidly chew 37 times expensive, it attracts the great celebrity super-facialist Teresa Tarmey, who is on site every few weeks. (She and the good. I missed Kate no longer takes appointments in the Moss by a few weeks. UK, as she is in such demand.) A guy who’d just sold his All in all, VIVAMAYR basically ‘tech’ company to Mark changed my shape, my mind and my Zuckerberg sat opposite me life. I came away lithe, uplifted and at dinner, and I made friends with a green Tyrolean hat. (Well, I did with a bona fide Lady with a manor house. You see, hunger say this place changes you.) Yes, the 40-bite rule is boring as sin for my is a great leveller. Status means husband, but it works. Three months nothing when you’re all starving and defecating (Epsom salts is a thing later, I’m still losing weight, still dreaming of Lake Altaussee and – a great ‘cleansing tool’, if you know even occasionally wearing the hat. what I mean). Of course, there is so much more to this place than ‘power chewing’. h DO IT Rooms at VIVAMAYR start There is a whole wing dedicated to on the edge of Lake Altaussee, there from £192 per night based on single is no lovelier place on earth. Honestly, vitamin injections and nasal occupancy (a minimum stay of seven reflexology and all sorts of weird one afternoon, five days in, I was so nights is recommended); vivamayr.com overcome by the autumn light cutting through the snow-capped mountains (well, it was that or the hunger) that I had a little wet-eyed moment down by the lake’s edge, startling a poor group of ramblers who stumbled upon me. It’s the chewing. That’s VIVAMAYR’s schtick. Chew, chew, chew. You not only fill up more quickly, but it helps your body digest Longevity Lanserhof Evian Resort, everything that bit easier. But, my Thalassa & Medical Tegernsee, France God, it’s a bore. So, at dinner, what Spa, Portugal Germany As in the bottled you do is you stare at people. And

3 more medispas

Lake Altaussee is so beautiful Farrah had to cover her eyes

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Want to detox and lose weight? How about some laser resurfacing and intravenous nutrient therapy while you’re at it? Do the lot here – you’ll come back at least 5lb lighter and with an addiction to expensive fluffy bathrobes too. Seven-night wellness break from £2,885 per person; Longevityvilalara.com

This state-of-the-art spa follows the LANS Med Concept; Mayr method with some extra techniques thrown in. Whether it’s bloating/ weight gain/bad skin or hell, anything else, they’ll find the problem and vow to fix it. Roman Abramovich is a fan of its sister hotel in Austria. If it’s good enough for an oligarch… Rooms from £333 per night; Lanserhof.com

water? Damn straight. There’s a whole thermal spa dedicated to the stuff, including an Evian Source detox and re-energise programme, plus water-based medi treatments for muscle pain, digestion problems and cellulite. And all this while overlooking stunning Lake Geneva. Eau so good. Rooms at the Hotel Royal from £231 per night; Evianresort.com


SPA GOAL: GET FIT Time

it5 days

Amy Grier toughed out at 38°N fitness retreat in Ibiza

hen one of my best friends announced she was having her hen do in Marbella, my initial elation about getting a week in the sun slowly turned to panic, and then cold, hard dread. The prospect of having to actually party in a bikini and have my picture taken next to 30 other women (most of whom actually have abs)? Terrifying, and more than enough to motivate even the laziest of gym-goers. So off I went to Body:Fit with 38°N, a luxury fitness boot camp in Ibiza, where, thankfully, they take no shit. No shit at all. On your first morning, things kick off with an hour and a half fitness assessment (heads up: it involves a bleep test, which is every bit as mortifying now as it was in PE lessons). Then, you go straight into

W  

brilliant core workout. After two hours of splashing and whacking ourselves in the heads with paddles, the local instructor managed to get all of us confidently standing on our boards. Did I mention how patient everyone is? Oh, and to stretch you out after some of the most gruelling classes, there’s also yoga, Pilates and mindfulness sessions slotted into your schedule to give you a breather when you need it most. I’d never done anything this intense before, so my biggest worry was that Yacht goals the days would drag. But you’re kept so busy that the only clue you’ve done five hours one of your five hour-long sessions of exercise is the mountain of kit you a day. Yes. You read that correctly. go through (bring a lot of socks is Five hours. Don’t be put off though my biggest tip) and the heaviness in – they cater for, and have seen, every your legs come sundown. ability. Groups are capped at 14, so If you do have the energy, take you always get a good amount of a gentle stroll into Santa Eulalia personal attention from the trainers. town – it’s one of the quieter resorts It’s these guys, the trainers and on the party isle. Think perving on various instructors you meet people’s yachts rather than drinking throughout the retreat, that are a shots of tequila on the deck. major draw of this Lap up the Evening meals are not particular boot camp. sunshine included, so I’d take a Rob, who led most of stroll around the cove i our sessions, was one of the most brilliant PTs I’ve met. From early morning beach runs along the Santa Eulalia coast, to gruelling HIIT and bodyweight circuits in the hotel grounds (burpeeing with a sea view is infinitely better than on a windowless gym floor), to boxing and kettlebells in the hotel’s fitness suite, he remained relentlessly Amy gets a cheery and ruthlessly firm. It’s not good ass by all cardio and heavy lifting; there’s getting bad-ass paddleboarding too, which is a C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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Sofas (not surfing)

to Babylon. By day it’s a relaxed beach caféserving amazing salads and grills, but by night it’s a buzzing beach bar and cantina with serious people-watching potential. Try the pumpkin and chickpea curry. It’s delicious, and leaves you with just the right amount of fuel to deal with one of Rob’s circuit classes the next day. I came back no lighter on the scales (I swear it had nothing to do with Babylon – honest) but considerably stronger. Five days at 38°N totally resets your attitude to fitness, and gives you a wealth of knowledge and willpower to

continue your hard work back home. I’m still doing the kettlebell circuit Rob taught us in my gym back home, gradually increasing the weights I lift and swing. After spending five hours a day exercising, squeezing in that hour before or after work suddenly doesn’t seem quite so hard. And the best bit? Six weeks post-retreat, I was lording it up on that hen do with my own set of abs. h DO IT Body:Fit from 38°N, Sol Beach House Ibiza, from £1,415 for six nights, not including flights; Thirtyeightdegreesnorth.com

3 more kick-ass boot camps

The Healthy Retreat Company, Dubai If being told what to do all day turns you into a pouting child, then The Healthy Retreat’s Flexi Programme is for you. Choose one of three exercise sessions a day, while sustenance comes as juices or portioncontrolled meals. From £300 per night, including all meals, activities, excluding flights; Thehealthyretreat company.com.

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Wildfitness, Norfolk

The Camp, Morocco

There are no kettlebells here. Instead, get your endorphins by rolling a log up a hill, brachiating (swinging, apparently – not like that) through tree branches or swimming across a river. Meals are all back-to-basics too; you can eat anything as long as it has fallen from a tree, been grown or reared. Deliveroo addicts – avoid. Long weekend from £840 in May; Wildfitness.com.

Want to drop a dress size and get fit in one week? (Er, yes, we’ll take that). Well, this women-only retreat in Marrakech is a new offering from The Camp team (they also operate in Scotland and Spain) and promises just that through a tight daily schedule of exercise. Think boxing circuits and hikes in the Atlas Mountains. Seven-night Boot Camp from £1,200; Thecamp.co.uk.

SPA GOAL: DE-STRESS Jessica Lockett went Time 48 looking for emotional hours

salvation at The Adler Dolomiti in Italy, and found four saunas, a seven-course meal and one very naked man an you de-stress in 48 hours? I’m not so sure, but a place that calls itself a ‘holistic spa’ is probably my best chance of achieving some sort of emotional realignment. I’ve had a ‘challenging’ year. A temporary break-up (happy ending disclaimer: we’re back together) and a stressful home situation meant my nerves were ragged when I arrived at The Adler. But as you make the drive from the airport, up (and up) into the bowels of the Italian Dolomites, you feel something shift. Checked in and suitcase unpacked, I’m wordlessly ushered to an outdoor whirlpool where a glass of rock crystal water (yes, that’s a thing here) awaits, along with a view of craggy snow-capped mountains. But it’s the sauna situation that really tickled me. For a start, I didn’t know you could have different types of saunas. Here, there are blossom-scented saunas,

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The spa grotto: no dive-bombing


PHOTOGRAPHS KENNETH WILARDT/TRUNK ARCHIVE, GETTY IMAGES

panoramic saunas, rock-salt saunas and even a rosy steam room that smells like an English garden after a rain storm. The only condition for entry into each: full European nudity. Ordinarily, I’d have passed, but at The Adler, things are different. Shedding your clothes to sit in 90˚ heat with a bunch of strangers feels OK-ish. Well, apart from when you’re sitting opposite a starkers man who thinks it’s entirely appropriate to do a 180˚spread-eagle for your amusement. After that, I hot-footed it to something called the salt grotto. Yeah, yeah, I know. It sounds like the sort of place you’d find Hugh Hefner hanging out in, but it’s far more trippy than that. Imagine a natural underground salt lake where you can lie back, close your eyes and float to oblivion, before waking up with clear, decongested skin (the high-grade salt has a deep cleansing effect). As for the spa… oh, the spa. The menu was crammed with weird and wonderful sounding treatments. I had an Adler Green Staminal Facial, which was far less scary than it sounds and left me looking 10 years younger, which is kind of comical when you only look 10 years old to start with. And I know what you’re going to ask me… the food, right? I hear you. The thing with ‘holistic’ retreats is that you’re always left feeling let down by the anaemic salads and vegan cakes on offer. Not here. The in-house restaurant does a brilliant sevencourse meal (that’s right, seven) that, frankly, it would be criminal not to try. That night I stumbled to bed feeling like Augustus Gloop and had the best night’s sleep I’ve had in 12 months. By the time I touched down

in London the following afternoon, The Adler felt like a dream. Rose-scented steam rooms, neverending meals, and naked men… h DO IT Adler A Modo Mio package from around £645, including four 45-50 minute treatments of your choice, three nights’ half-board accommodation, full use of spa and sports and nature programme, including guided hikes and mountain biking (skiing/ snowshoeing in winter); Adler-resorts.com. Easyjet flies to Innsbruck from £105; Easyjet.com

ABOVE: The Adler LEFT: Jessica in rare not-naked moment

3 more holistic havens

Essential Ayurveda, Lincolnshire

Real Retreats, Spain

There’s no need to travel all the way to India to have your Dosha read (google it), thanks to this farmhouse retreat. A three-day course includes daily 90-minute Ayurvedic sessions; massages, shirodharah (a relaxing but seriously trippy warm oil treatment), reflexology and guided breath work. Just a warning to all the carnivores: all meals are veggie. From £795 for three days; Essential ayurveda.co.uk

Get your Vinyasa on (not to mention some Pilates and meditation too) at this tranquil wellbeing retreat in hippy town Tarifa in southern Spain. And when you’re not in a downward dog or learning how to eat more healthily, there’s a chance to take a dip in the pool and hang out on the eight-mile beach checking out the kitesurfers (or having a go yourself). From £495pp for three nights; Realretreats.co.uk

Retreat Cottage At Witherdens Hall, Kent This two-bed private cottage is probably the cutest holistic escape in the country. Organic facials, yoga, Reiki, acupuncture, mindfulness, hypnotherapy; the schedule’s geared to your needs, whether that’s to get a decent night’s sleep or reduce anxiety. From £35 per person per night, based on four sharing for three nights, or £250 for two nights’ single occupancy; Witherdenshall.co.uk ◆

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B E H I N D T H E S C E N E S AT

Cosmopolitan’s

Influencer Awards

Cocktail heaven care of Blossom Hill; and below, merry mingling at The Orangery, Kensington Palace

We gathered some of the greatest talent on the internet in one room for a very special evening… t was the biggest night in the influencer calendar, when 200 of the brightest blog, vlog and social media stars gathered for Cosmopolitan’s Influencer Awards, in association with Blossom Hill. With hundreds of nominees across 10 categories, the gongs were hotly contested. Thankfully it didn’t stop them all piling into the OGX Boomerang booth, after Sam and Nic Chapman, the sisters behind Pixiwoo, crowned the winners. Speaking of which: here’s who the judging panel says you need to follow from now on…

I

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· C O S M O P O L I TA N

Blossom Hill Influencer’s Choice Award: Brogan Tate xo Best Health And Wellbeing Influencer: Imperfect Matter Best Use Of Social Media: Fleur De Force Content Of The Year: Zoe London Best Lifestyle Influencer: Pretty Ugly Best Vlogger: Hello October Best Beauty Influencer: Chloé Boucher Best Newcomer in association with OGX: The Style Memo Best Fashion Influencer: Pages By Megan Best Sex And Relationships: Hannah Witton

PHOTOGRAPHS BEN WILSON

Our winners, from top right: Brogan Tate; Zoe London in between presenters Nic and Sam Chapman; and Stephanie Peers of The Style Memo

THE WINNERS Ready, set, follow


Clockwise, from left: Gabriella Pisani of Pretty Ugly; Imperfect Matter’s Cat Meffan; getting glammed up at the OGX braid bar ar

WITH

OUR NIGHT We ate Edible gardens from the interactive dessert bar We drank Blossom Hill Spritz – a fruity twist on wine with light bubbles We posted GIFs from the OGX Boomerang booth We glammed up with The OGX braid bar, and party lashes and nails by Eylure and Elegant Touch We danced to Pop hits spun by Made In Chelsea’s Ashley James

We took home Baylis & Harding Hand Wash, Blossom Hill Spritz, Elegant Touch acrylic nails, Eylure lashes, Five Guys lunch voucher, Jade Angel beauty discount voucher, OGX shampoo and conditioner, Popband hair ties, Propercorn, Regenerate Toothpaste, The Good Guru vitamins, Urban Beauty United make-up brush

From left: Farrah Storr with Fleur de Force; Chloé Boucher; Pages by Megan; and Hannah Witton CATEGORY ASSOCIATION

C O S M O P O L I TA N ·

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Th gym hanging room This is an agreement made by A Woman Using The Gym Changing Room, ____________________ (hereafter referred to as the Gym-goer) ARRIVAL L

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2

ANNOYANCE E

Dressed d and d rarin ng to go, the Gym-goer will realise she’s forgotten g her earrphones and water bottle. She will see this as a sign g from m the Gods that she should abandon her workout but changges her mind when she sees a fellow gy gym-goer g in a crop top and micro shorts. She will then begrudgingly g g g y payy for a new set of earphones and water at the reception desk. She will try not to cry when she realises this l h costs morre than her monthly membership.

3

TOWEL WARS

Upon returning from her workout, the Gym-goer will pick up her one free towel. She’ll never again disobey the signs s after receiving dead-eye from the receptionist p the h onee time she h took k an eextra for she will reaalise f her hair. At this point p she’s forgotten which locker is hers. A After 10 1 minutes of trying her padlock co ode on every door, she will admit defeaat and in her tow a traipse p to reception p wel.

4

NAKED DISTRACTION N

A woman in just a thong h will start moisturising every inch o of her b body in ffront off the Gym-go oer. S She will edge away, only to o encounter another naked d

body bending over to rough-dry h h gh-dry her hair. To h her h horror, these women will start trrying to chatt to her. Unable to handle it (or avoid makin h ni i l )), ng eye contact with nipples), the Gym-goer will scarperr to the h sauna to esscape..

5

HOT MESS

6

CLEANSE

7

GO TIME

Having retreated to thee sauna to avoid d the h b naked talkers, and finally reelaxed onto her bench, , the Gym-goer will look up to t see the h steam cl c clear, and the door open. The nakeed talker has follllowed her in. “Hot in here, isn’t it,” she sh quips. The h Gy G Gym goer’s ‘no shit Sherlock’ retortt is mercifullyy drowned d out by the sizzle of water on hot h coals. She thinks..

f ed e with everyy In the shower, the Gym-goer er will be face exerciser’s worst nightmare (othe her than h cam m mell toe), that h most disastrous beauty hybrid: ‘h db d h. hair and bod dy wash’ Despite fully understanding that tthis is, esseentially, y, washing up liquid, she will have no n choice h b but to wash her hair with it. On leaving th h rr, the shower her hair will feel like three-day-old u d pizza cru ust.

Rushing to get to work, the Gym m-goer will w ll apply concealer and mascara to her red ed face f fr from her gym make-up bag. This is full of weird w miniatures in unsuitable colours that her he mum um m gets when she spends a certain amount in Bo oots. o . She looks like a beetroot covered in flou ur. Shee w will consider trying to pass this look off as thee sidee effect of some hip new wellness treatment pedaalled by nd buys b an Gwyneth Paltrow, but decides against it and almond croissant on her way to the office.

Signed: ___________ ___________________________ (The Gym-goer)

WORDS AMY GRIER. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, ALAMY, SHUTTERSTOCK. TRAINERS, NEW BALANCE. BRALET, WE ARE HANDSOME

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Cosmopolitan UK – February 2017