CYM Dissertation - Tina Collins

Page 1

What do Christian Parents understand of their children’s spirituality and how do they nurture it? by Tina Collins

CYM Dissertation Showcase www.cym.ac.uk

Page 1 of 50


Abstract

___________________________________________________________________________ For many years we have been told that children are not the church of the future but the church of today. This investigation has led me to question whether this is just a catchy platitude because churches do not appear to know how to support children’s spiritual development. A significant amount of research has taken place in recent years on children’s spirituality this has revealed that the world of the child is perceived to be quite different from the world of the adult. This investigation set out to discover how much of this information had filtered down to Christian parents, and what, if anything, they were doing to nurture it? By using a quantitative research method I quickly discovered that parents knew very little on the subject. This proved embarrassing for some, resulting in questionnaires not being completed, and follow up interviews not taking place. The participant group of parents were drawn from local churches and from a group of ministers and children/youth workers in training. Their questionnaires were analysed and reflected on. The simplified conclusions were that Christian parents were struggling with this subject and admitted that they needed the support of their churches to help them. However what was more enlightening was the fact that those who were training for ministry had no greater understanding of this subject than the average parent in the pew. If ministers are not receiving the correct training in this area it brings into question how churches can provide guidance and the support networks that parents need.

Page 2 of 50


Contents ___________________________________________________________________________ Chapter One: Introduction and Aims of the Research Project……………………………………..6 Chapter Two: Literature Review………………………………………………………………………..9 Chapter Three: Research Methodology…………………………………………………………......16 Chapter Four: Pilot Results and Amendments……………………………………………………...20 Chapter Five: Questionnaire Analysis and Discussion…………………………………………….21 Chapter Six: Individual Interviews……………………………………………………………………31 Chapter Seven: Summary of the Research findings…………………………………………….. ..32 Chapter Eight: Research Recommendations and Suggestions for Future Research…………..33 Chapter Nine: Conclusion…………………………………………………………………………......34 Appendix 1: The Questionnaire……………………………………………………………………….37 Appendix 2: The Covering Letter……………………………………………………………………..39 Appendix 3: Research Analysis………………………………………………………………………40 Bibliography……………………………………………………………………………………….……49 Ethical Clearance Form………………………………………………………………………………..51

Page 3 of 50


Chapter One: Introduction and Aims of the Research Project ___________________________________________________________________________ As I distributed books to help church families worship together one parent’s response was “We aren’t overly bothered about engaging the girls in worship they are too young, we expect Fred1 (8) to join in but we are happy for the girls (4 and 5) to play.” Too often we assume families are in tune with their children’s spirituality but too often the reality is they aren’t. At best, adults often do not expect or encourage children to worship fully and, at worst, prevent them from taking part. The age when children are ready to connect with God appears to be different for each family. When we look around at church families, do we see children who are enthused by their faith and engaged fully in worship or do we see children playing and entertaining themselves in the corner? Psalm 139 explains the completeness of God’s knowledge and care for every individual; it states that he knows each person intimately in the depth of their unconsciousness. Verse 13 explains God created peoples inner most being and knitted them together in their mother’s womb. Meaning he sees every action and knows every thought. This concurs with Genesis 2, the Lord being the designer and maker behind humanity. My understanding of this is the younger the child is the closer to God they are likely to be; God and children have always been together and can connect with him from conception onwards. They are capable of experiencing a deep harmonic oneness with the God who gives purpose and meaning to life. Whether adults or children, wherever and whatever is taking place God is there, eternal and omnipresent waiting to reveal something of himself. Surely claiming children are too young has the potential to suppress children’s spiritual experiences and prevent them from recognising God. Dr Rebecca Nye (2009) writes ‘When spirituality is given the attention it deserves, we can make a vital and positive contribution to children’s lives.’(2009:XI) Children of all ages have a natural capacity for the awareness of God, thinking they were too young meant their parents were missing out on opportunities to nurture those special moments. I considered the family quoted to be one of the churches core families; if this family were struggling to understand their children’s true connectedness to God, how many others were in the same place. Faith is clearly important to both parents; they hold 1

Name changed to protect identity

Page 4 of 50


positions of authority in the church and are teaching their children to pray and read their Bibles. They are clearly teaching their children about God but it appears to be all head knowledge rather than relational. In the context of learning Ofsted defines Spiritual development as “The development of the non-material element of a human being which animates and sustains us…It is about the development of a sense of identity, self worth, personal insight, meaning and purpose.” (2004:12) The Children’s Society Good Childhood report describes it from the Christian perspective ‘helping to develop the spiritual qualities of wonder and inner peace – and the sense of something greater than themselves… No child is complete without some passionate spiritual engagement.’(Layard 2009:86) My role is to support children and their families on their spiritual journeys; the realisation that this core family seemingly lacked understanding of children’s spirituality completely threw me. I resolved at that time to find out what the other parents understood of ‘Gods way of being with children and children’s ways of being with God.’ (NYE 2009:5) Nye has conducted significant research into this subject; when speaking at a conference on ‘Children’s spirituality: What can parents do?’ She stated “The longer she studied and researched the subject the more difficult it was to define.” If a leading voice is struggling to define it is it any wonder parents are struggling to decipher it. Spirituality in children is clearly a very complex subject indeed. Parents today are under many pressures; consequently it can be hard for children's spirituality to be given any conscious thought let alone the nurture it needs in order to develop. There is also weariness in society of the connections between spirituality and new age thinking that perceives God as impersonal, a force, or energy, providing spiritual and ethical guidance for the future. Catering for children’s spirituality can be a daunting task, something else parents are expected to fit in around their busy lives. Although most Christian parents would want their children to find ‘the peace, vibrancy and power that they find in their own faith’ many parents won’t know where to begin so they are ‘robbing their children of what they were designed for- to be in a relationship with God.’ (Turner 2010:8)

Page 5 of 50


The subject of this research project was born out of a degree of frustration caused by the incident mentioned above. So my aims are to define Children’s spirituality and explore the role of parents in nurturing it. I will do this by comparing and critiquing the opinions of the professionals in the literature review. Then I will carry out research amongst Christian parents to understand what knowledge and understanding they have. My overall hypotheses would be Christian parents are aware of nurturing children’s faith development but lack knowledge and understanding of how to nurture children’s Spirituality. Terms like ‘spirituality,’ ‘faith’ and ‘religion” can mean different things to different people. The Oxford English dictionary defines faith as ‘Complete trust or confidence in someone or something’ where as the Bible says ‘Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see’ (Hebrews11:1 NIV). In other words faith is complete and absolute trust in God. The dictionary definition of religion is ‘belief in and worship of, a superhuman controlling power, especially a personal God or gods'. Where as I understand ‘religion’ to be more specific to church faith, referring to the customs and practices of faith such as prayer, worship and sacraments. Spirituality is explained as ‘having a relationship based on a profound level of mental or emotional communion.’ To most Christians ‘Spirituality,’ means finding out a little bit more about God through connectedness to him. If I discover the majority of parents are aware of their children’s spirituality I will look at the ways in which they develop and nurture it in order to support others. If I discover they are struggling to understand children’s spirituality I will consider what churches are doing to support them.

Page 6 of 50


Chapter Two: Literature Review ___________________________________________________________________________ ‘It is obvious that spirituality at any age, but most of all in childhood, exists on both verbal and non-verbal planes.’(Richards and Privett 2009:73) Given this position why do Christian parents appear to be failing to recognise it? Is it because of bias, seeing real church as being a place for adults only? Or is it due to a lack of understanding? Whatever it is a consequence of adult inaction is the ‘spiritual life of less verbal (often younger) children is overlooked and their journey begins with the negative lesson that a central core of their spiritual engagement is both invisible to others and presumably of lesser value’ (Richards and Privett 2009:73) Bunge claims ‘Parenting is a serious calling, (2001:20) just as Christ is the teacher for all humankind, parents are to be teachers of their children.’ (Bunge 2001:21) If children are not being encouraged to express their faith and connect to God in churches are there places where they are being encouraged to do so? If not, why not? God clearly commanded parents to ‘impress on their children’ the need to ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength’ it is clear parents are to ‘talk about God when they sit at home and when they walk along the road, when they lie down and when they get up.’ (Deuteronomy 6:4-9) This command is still relevant today even thought today’s culture and family structure is different. Claiming children are too young to engage with God can prevent them from connecting to him, and prevent them feeling they belong to something much bigger than themselves. Jesus maintained we were to ‘Let the children come to me; do not stop them.’ (Luke18:16) So why are so many being stopped? It is conceivable that most Christian parents would want to nurture their children and help them grow in the faith, parental inaction is likely to be due to a lack of knowledge and understanding; you can only nurture children’s spirituality if you know what to look for and how to do it. As a parent I found my children’s spirituality daunting because there were no fundamental characteristics, in both children the signs were different so nurturing it was a task which I didn’t know how to begin. No one in my church at the time offered me any help or support. I would argue this is common because most children’s ministries rarely take the child’s family into account. Beckwith concurs ‘One would think with all the talk about family values that the church has spewed out over the last two decades that most if not all, churches would take seriously the Page 7 of 50


importance of family in the spiritual nurture of their own children. One would think that churches would work hard at empowering parents to model faith at home and to use teachable moments and intentional practices to positively nurture their children in Spirituality. One would think that would be the basis of Children’s ministry. But that’s not the case at all.’(Beckwith 2004: 102.) As a result of churches inaction most parents have misunderstandings about faith which promotes the idea that faith is about religious or biblical knowledge; this prevents children engaging on a deeper level with God. (Nye 2009:13) This research should shed some light on how supportive churches are however my hunch would be ‘parents leave the church building each week with few tools to help them care for the souls of their children.’ (Beckwith 2004:103) If churches are failing to support parents as they encourage children to have a deep intimate relationship with God it is questionable how long will it be before children’s interest in God start’s waning. Griffiths warns us that already the church is “disappearing from the face of the nation faster than the ice flows are melting in the Antarctic’ (2009:15) The aim of this literature review is to define spirituality and understand what it looks like in children, in order to help parents and churches understand their role in nurturing it. Defining spirituality Defining spirituality is challenging because of its very nature. It is questionable how something that is by nature indefinable can be defined. Spirituality is something that can be sensed deep within our being but is something that cannot be seen or measured. It has ‘extremely vague connotations.’ (Hay and Nye 2006:18) One view is that it is ‘pertaining to interior life, religious experience, the search for meaning and purpose, expression of relatedness, transcendence, immanence, ultimate values, integrity, identity, a connection to something greater and awareness.’ (Adams et al 2008:11) where as Hay and Nye’s definition disagrees, maintaining it is something much warmer ‘associated with love, inspiration, wholeness, depth, mystery and personal devotions.’ (2006:19) so many words to describe what is in essence the same thing. Spirituality has also come to be associated with the new age movement, as a result the term Spirituality is regarded with suspicion by some Christians. ‘it has become an ‘in word’; today it covers everything from different moral and ethical codes to a diverse range of esoteric, sometimes occult, practices… there is emphasis Page 8 of 50


on attaining higher consciousness in the search for the divine, the interrelatedness of all things, and holistic healing.’ (Croft et al 2005:8) Today many claim to be ‘spiritual but not religious,’ (Lamont 2007:1) believing there is a higher power or something mystical but not necessarily a God. So ‘….rather than being the exclusive property of any one religious tradition, spirituality is an essential human trait…..it concerns a journey towards…….the notion of Ultimate Unity, and …it is given expression in terms of how one might act in relation to the human and nonhuman world.’ (Hyde 2008:23) In today’s unchurched generation connecting to another can be anything ‘with whom self seeks to become unified’ (Hyde 2008:44) Many definitions for Christian spirituality have been offered by academics and theorists; Nye’s thinking claims it “is not something that likes to be confined to words…its more felt ‘sense.’ (2009:1) Whereas McGrath a leading theologian states the word “Spirituality” draws on the Hebrew word ‘ruach’ which has a range of meanings; spirit, breath, or wind that gives life and animation to something. McGarth continues it is about ‘the life of faith - what drives and motivates it and what people find helpful in sustaining and developing it. It is about that which animates the life of believers and urges them on…’ (McGrath 1999:1) Hay maintains ‘spiritual awareness is a part of our human make-up and biologically built or ‘hard wired’ into our being.’(Cited in Croft et al 2005:11) Spirituality is not just knowing about God, but really experiencing him as a third person it impacts on the whole of a persons life ‘and is meant to entail all that we are called to be.’ (Nye 2009:5) Lamont claims it ‘opens up a third dimension to life.’ (2007:2) Although different it’s clear the above definitions have commonalities, maintaining spirituality has human characteristics; that it is to do with being in touch with a higher essence and it is an experience that can be felt. Spirituality is something which animates a person's life; for Christians that is God. Christian Spirituality has been described as ‘the search for God in response to Gods search for us’ (Jo Anne Taylor cited in Nye 2009:2) this includes ‘our deepest emotions – love, joy, grief- as well as how we relate to each other…Spirituality is an experience of an inner life.’ (Lamont 2007: 58)

Page 9 of 50


Children’s Spirituality Research has led me to conclude Children’s Spirituality is even more difficult to define, ‘children do not separate out spiritual from other aspects of their lives’ it is claimed to be ‘evident in the very ordinary, everyday aspects of children’s lives.’ (Richards and Privett 2009:72) This challenges adults to be alert and look and listen for spirituality when it is expressed. So often adults are ‘foolish and senseless people, who have eyes but do not see, who have ears but do not hear:’ (Jeremiah 5:21) ‘The world at large cannot receive him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognise him’ (John14:17 NLT) We live in a post modern society where ‘most have never heard the gospel of Jesus in a way that makes sense to them.’(Hope 2006:1) People cannot look for something they do not recognise. Christians must learn to look for the Holy Spirit in children, Richards and Privett make it clear ‘our mindset about spirituality and about children needs to be radically open to do this’ (2009:82) Nye explains children are unable to put into words the experiences they have had so adults need to be aware of their ‘imaginings, views, questions, play and ideas’ in order to become familiar with their Spiritual awareness. (Nye 2009:7) Failing to do this will mean missing ‘Gods way of being with children and children’s ways of being with God.’ (Nye 2009:5) Nye a leading voice in the field claims: ‘Children’s spirituality is an initially natural capacity for awareness of the sacred quality to life experiences. This awareness can be both conscious, or unconscious, and sometimes fluctuates between both, but in both cases can affect actions, feelings and thoughts. In childhood, spirituality is especially about being attracted towards ‘being in relation’, responding to a call to relate to more than ‘just me’ – i.e. to others, to God, to creation or to a deeper inner sense of self. This encounter with transcendence can happen in specific experiences or moments, as well as through imaginative or reflective activity (thoughts and meaning making).’ (Nye 2009:6) Lamont’s thinking appears to support Nye’s view, she refers to the consciousness as children being aware; she claims they ‘can feel a mood’ they can focus on the mood and dwell in the moment. Both voices support spirituality as a felt ‘sense’. Lamont recognises that children have a great ‘sense of awe’ and an incredible ‘imagination’ about God, and God’s life and activity in the world. Children can be seen to be miles away or absorbed in the moment these are both indications that they are in a higher place. Children do not have the same intellectual Page 10 of 50


capacities as adults so things adults find difficult can be less challenging and more natural for children. Bushnell claims children ‘take in all the most precious thoughts of God more easily. The very highest and most spiritual things are a great deal closer to them than to us.’ (Bushnell cited in Bunge 2001:359) Hay and Nye (2006) recognise Children’s spirituality is vague as a result they provide some helpful guidelines to look out for. 

Awareness sensing - Attending to the here and now of the experience, the alertness of what might be experienced in moments of concentration or stillness.

Mystery sensing - the Awe and Wonder the fascination and questioning which is characteristic of children as they interact with the mystery of the universe.

Value sensing - the moral sensitivity the delight and the despair that express children’s sense of goodness or evil. It includes a sense of that which really matters. (2006:65)

On the whole Childhood spirituality appears to be less about knowledge and more about seeing. It is less about learning facts and more about personal experiences and a way of being. Role of Parents The introduction to this literature review makes it clear parents need to take on responsibility for nurturing their children’s spirituality. ‘The family has the most potential of any institution for shaping the spiritual and moral lives of children.’ (Bunge 2001:24) Jesus passes some of his harshest judgments on people who cause ‘little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble.’ He claims ‘it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.’ (Matthew18:6) Another drastic statement is made by Bushnell who claims ‘Those who neglect the Spiritual well being of their children will be judged by God.’ (Cited in Bunge 2001:23) These are both seriously damning statements which show just how much God values children. However it’s hard to imagine parents are deliberately setting out to turn their children away from God, it could be argued today’s generation of parents haven’t been spiritually nurtured themselves so don’t know how to spiritually nurture their children. Inactions on the part of parents could also be due to a lack of support from churches, ‘who may or may not recognise how fundamental spirituality is.’ (Nye2009:95) Although our inadequacies might sadden God he is loving and merciful and understands the

Page 11 of 50


situation. There is no room for complacency but there is reassurance because ‘I love people even though they sin.’ (Hosea 3:1) Lamont believes families should be role models for children, ‘There is no doubt that as they grow up children absorb far more about life from the modeling what they experience from those around them than from words.’ (2007:6) Whereas Nye agrees with the gospel insight that children are the model for adult spirituality, rather than the reverse (2009:11) ‘I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.’ (Matthew 18:3) Statements of this kind should challenge parents to set the right example but they should also challenge adults to ask what they have learnt from being with children. This research will look at spirituality from both angles. Lamont makes it clear ‘One of our tasks as teachers is to give children and adults the language with which they can explore their spiritual lives.’ (2007:5) The research will look at how parents encourage children to question and how they respond to those questions to see if they are addressing ‘the spiritual dimensions of children’s lives in ways that are meaningful for them’ (Hyde 2008:50) or if it is being crushed and prevented from developing. Conclusion Children’s Spirituality is the responsibility of both parents and the wider church. Copsey states ‘It takes a healthy village to raise a healthy child.’ ‘This means that proper support for the child includes support for the child’s parents as well as others that relate to the child…this includes children’s workers, Sunday group leaders and ministers’ (Ethics cited in Copsey 2005:100) ‘The extent to which those in authority (clergy ministers) lead by example should not be underestimated. The attitude and behaviour they take towards children’s spiritual capacity will often influence the approach of parents.’ (Nye 2009:95) Paul says a community of believers should encourage and support each other (Hebrews10:24-25) this thinking is also supported by Westerhoff a professor of theology, who draws the conclusion that children will have faith so long as adults make the spiritual journey with them. If adults take the time to look in depth into spiritual matters maybe they will be able to see God in the way children see him and help them to recognise the sacred in their everyday lives. Too often Churches are more concerned with creating ‘teaching strategies, instrumental gimmicks, and curricular resources than with spiritual mentors.’(Westerhoff 2000:83) If Churches make an effort to understand the complex subject that children’s spirituality is and support parents there will be a change in attitudes towards children and worship. There will also be mutual enrichment for all. Spirituality in children is Page 12 of 50


something that can change, grow, and form if nurtured it but it can also fade and wither away if not.

Page 13 of 50


Chapter Three: Research Methodology ___________________________________________________________________________ In order to conduct this study in an ethical and methodical way and to ensure validity and reliability of the results this research will be carried out by evaluating the procedures intended for use and by being thorough in the planning. Pseudonyms will be used for any agencies and all individuals involved. The research methodology requires gathering relevant data and analysing it in order to find an answer or arrive at a greater understanding of the research question - What do Christian parents understand of their children’s spirituality and how do they nurture it? Subsidiary questions will be used to unpack parents understanding of their children’s spirituality because I believe there is a degree of confusion between faith development and spirituality; this research should uncover the evidence to support this thinking or prove me wrong. Whatever the outcome, this research will either confirm what parents and churches are doing well or will highlight what needs improving to nurture children’s spirituality effectively in the future. For this study anonymous questionnaires will be used for data collection, otherwise known as a quantitative research method. Using a questionnaire will require ‘discipline in the selection of questions, in question writing, in the design, piloting, distribution and return’(Bell 2010:140) but using ‘numerical data and, typically…structured and predetermined research questions’ (Punch 2005:28) will ensure everyone is treated equally and that there is adequate information to analyse. The aim is to obtain a representative range of responses; an earlier pilot study confirmed questionnaires were effective at this and at acquiring enough information to draw a reasonable conclusion. They were also ‘extremely efficient at providing large amounts of data at low cost in a short period of time.’ (Robson1999:129) The pilot study revealed that it is essential to pre-pilot questionnaires to identify any ambiguities or design flaws. This will take place as part of this study. Although the anonymity of questionnaires was frustrating in the previous study, because contacting participants to offer clarity was prevented, this research will be conducted in the same way. Questionnaires allow you to ‘collect facts and study the relationship of one set of facts to another.’ Bell (2010:5) and ‘seek to describe and /or analyse some aspect of the world out there as it is.’ (Robson1999:124) A prime consideration in this research is anonymity; research of a sensitive nature needs to be anonymous for feedback to

Page 14 of 50


be honest and for the data gathered to be reliable and meaningful. Questionnaires are the most suitable method for anonymous data collection. A large proportion of those I intend to interview are employees of churches, Christian communities or students training for ministry; these people clearly have a Christian faith. If spiritual leaders are going to admit they do not fully understand children’s spirituality they need to be guaranteed anonymity to avoid embarrassment. In order to prevent anyone feeling uncomfortable initial face to face methods of data collection were ruled out. Questionnaires will be distributed to students studying at a college responsible for training those in the ministry field. This will provide a representative sample of male and female Christian parents from diverse backgrounds. Questionnaires will also be distributed in my own church (C of E) and to parents of other students in my network. This will cover a range of denominations. To support this quantitative study with qualitative data, a small sample of face to face interviews will be conducted ‘to illuminate and enrich the survey findings.’ (Robson1999:125) The interviews should get parents to ‘think about an issue - their reasoning about why things are as they are and why they hold the views they do’ (Bell 2010:166) ‘Using more than one method of research, triangulation, enhances credibility and interpretability.’ (Robson 1999:291) The individual interviews will be carried out once the bulk of the research is complete. The aim is to interview 4 parents whose children regularly attend our church. These parents will be selected because they are representative of our diverse family units. E.g. Married couples, or lone parent families. These interviews will be informal and more like ‘conversations with a purpose’ (Dexter cited in Bell 2010:164) that have been designed to gather the information required. This will involve qualitative research, an inquiry process of understanding where a more complex, holistic picture is developed and more detailed views of parents are acquired in a natural setting. I know these families well so this should encourage openness. A basic frame work of questions will be drafted once the initial questionnaires are returned and it is clear what further information is needed. Working in his way will allow me to ‘follow up ideas, probe responses and investigate motives and feelings’ (Bell 2010:161) something a questionnaire is unable to do. Interview questions will be circulated to the interviewees beforehand so they can consider their answers, ask questions if they need to and withdraw if they prefer not to take part. Interviewing these families will ‘put flesh on the bones of the questionnaire responses,’ (Bell 2010 161) It will also provide an opportunity to clarify information and gain a more in depth

Page 15 of 50


knowledge of the local situation. This method should also answer any further subsidiary questions. An alternative approaches might have been a focus group interview; this would offer the benefit of sharing views and would have allowed for all the church parents to be invited to take part in the study; it would also be less time consuming. However it was deemed necessary to consider group dynamics and experiences. Some individuals might feel self conscious and be unwilling to share personal experiences or thoughts in front of their peers. As a result a group approach might skew the results which could influence or hinder the study. Individual interviews will ensure everybody has an equal opportunity to contribute their experiences and that no one dominates the discussion. Once the enquiry is complete a group meeting will be held to look at the findings and explore some of the issues. A major flaw in this methodology could be that I am reliant on others to distribute and collect questionnaires. Meaning there are more chances for human error and questionnaires could be forgotten or lost. In an attempt to overcome this, contacts will be followed up after seven days to ensure maximum questionnaires are distributed and returned and a clear deadline date for questionnaire returns will be given. Collection of the completed questionnaires will be more complicated because several collection points will be needed. Electronic distribution and submission was considered but anonymity would have been lost. Central to gaining an answer to the research question is analysing the data gathered. The questionnaires will make up the bulk of this study. The information gleamed from these will primarily be concerned with looking for trends, similarities and differences in the opinions gathered, and how these led to action or practice in the life or attitude of the families participating. The data will be analysed by recording all responses onto a data base. The rationale for this approach is that the quantitative data and results provide a general picture of the research problem. Interviews will be recorded, but not transcribed because as Bell points out ‘you have to question whether you have the time; it’s incredibly time consuming.’(2010:168) Time is limited for this research so transcribing would be impractical. Instead notes will be made as the research takes place and key areas and topics will be identified for analysing in a similar way to the questionnaires. However a recording of the interviews will be included in the appendix. I anticipate looking at things from different angles, in the triangulated dialogue of questionnaire and interviews will demonstrate validity in the study. Page 16 of 50


Within the analysis there is potential for the findings to be subjective. The researcher is not separate from the research and there is potential that both data received and the analysis of it will contain some bias towards the researchers ‘identity, values and beliefs’ (Denscombe 2000:208) To avoid this as far as possible there will be on going reflection during the process as well as accountability to both the supervisor and agency gatekeeper.

Page 17 of 50


Chapter Four: Pilot Results and Amendments ___________________________________________________________________________ The questionnaires were distributed to two adults prior to the main study; their feed back confirmed the questions were clear and well worded. However they both felt this research was personally challenging, making them reflect on their own faith and spirituality and themselves as parents; this could be uncomfortable for some. The questionnaire was also considered time consuming taking at least 15 minutes to complete; this might deter some people or reduce the quality of the answers given. As a result of this feed back the questions were reviewed and two were omitted. However reflection on the remaining questions led to the conclusion that the questionnaire was probably considered time consuming because the participants were challenged as they encountered and reflected upon the questions. After due consideration, it was decided to continue with the study as planned. The questions were compiled specifically to answer the question in the title; any further simplification might result in inadequate information to carry out the study. Fewer respondents would be better than a mass response of diluted information; it was felt the covering letter, guaranteeing anonymity, would be helpful in overcoming parent’s embarrassment or concerns. Piloting the questionnaire was successful in highlighting something that will need to be considered in the data analysis – the reason for some questions being left unanswered, or only vaguely answered, and why fewer questionnaires than expected may be returned. The final questionnaire can be found in Appendix 1 The covering letter in Appendix 2

Page 18 of 50


Chapter Five: Questionnaire Analysis and Discussion ___________________________________________________________________________ Before analysis of the questionnaires could take place and questions drafted for individual interviews the research from the questionnaires needed to be collated in a clear and accessible fashion. This information can be found in full in Appendix 3. 110 questionnaires were distributed by me and 5 appointed distributors; 27 were returned for analysis. Responses were received from all those who agreed to distribute them, although some were poorly represented. This could be due to the reasons highlighted in the pilot study or because some volunteers did not reliably follow through on the commitments they had made. From the initial review of the questionnaires, searching for simple or bold patterns in the data, the following conclusions arose: 

Respondents were mainly female, married to Christian partners and members of the Church of England or Baptist church.

A large proportion were employed by a church

Most claimed to attend church with their children on a weekly basis

Children of all ages were considered in the study

Christian practices of some kind were taking place in every home.

Less than half of Christian parents pray for their children everyday.

Many parents don’t pray themselves or chat to God themselves in front of their children.

Most agree that you should begin to talk to children about God from birth.

That there were as many definitions for children’s spirituality as there were people responding.

The majority felt parents should take primary responsibility for nurturing Children’s spirituality even though most of those responding admitted they didn’t know how too, or didn’t really understand children’s spirituality at all.

Very few claimed to understand children’s spirituality those who did, did not necessarily give other answers that supported this claim.

Page 19 of 50


Creation is the thing that captures children attention the most, enough to make them stop and talk.

More than half said their children had asked them a profound question in the last month.

All parents were able to recognise the signs that their children had done something wrong but there were multiple views on how they learnt right from wrong.

It was felt that the best way to address the anomalies in life was to talk about things as the situations arose and by being honest and upfront giving children the opportunities to ask the questions they needed to ask.

Roughly half of those who responded could recall a personal encounter with God as a child.

That the weak areas – the questions needing further research were the questions near the end of the study. Given the feed back in the pilot study it was possible that participants had become weary by this point. In order to gain a more in-depth view on these questions - relating to age, morality and the things that children talk about - these will become the bases for the individual interviews.

Analysis of the Questionnaires Analysing the questionnaires was a fascinating and informative process, there were several contradictions between peoples understanding of how they saw children’s spirituality and their spiritual practices. Questionnaire Findings The questionnaires were completed by both male and female parents from a range of Christian denominations. Respondents were predominately members of the Baptist church or the Church of England; they were mainly female and married to Christian partners. One person stated they were of no denomination but claimed an affiliation with the faith; so all participants were considered to be practising Christian parents. Just under half of those responding were

Page 20 of 50


employees of a church and three quarters claimed to attend church as a family every week. Children of all ages (birth to 18) were considered in the study.

Faith Development The information recorded in the graph below clearly indicates Christian practices are taking place in family homes that are encouraging faith development and spiritual awareness. Yust explains ‘The spiritual world that we create for our children to inhabit, with its content of religious stories, language and prayer, enables our children to think spiritually and it sets the stage for the cultivation of spiritual awareness.’ (Yust 2004 cited in Going4growth)

Which of the following do you do at home with your children? 30

Number replied

25 20 15 10 5 0

A range of further activities, (recorded on page 42 ) that weren’t considered in the original questions, were also mentioned as taking place e.g. a quarter of respondents claimed their children were participating in holiday clubs and religious gatherings like Greenbelt and Spring Harvest. Children were also attending Messy church events, using Bible reading notes and attending house groups. However the questionnaires failed to take into account that some families included children across a wide age range. Some participants had children as young as 5 and as old as 17 – a Page 21 of 50


12 year age gap. When parents were asked to indicate what was taking place in their families nearly three quarters claimed to be reading Christian books together and praying at bedtimes. However the research revealed, in homes of just teenagers, it was unlikely that activities of this kind were still taking place. One parent remarking “I did this when they were younger.” Where there was a mixed age family (primary school children and teenagers in the same home) the questionnaires didn’t allow for a clear conclusion to be drawn about who was involved in what activities. At what age did parents considered they had ‘Trained up a child in the way he should go’ (Proverbs 22: 6) and step back and become mentors or give children independence? Did teenagers opted out of taking part in family activities? Highlighting an area for further research. Prayer The prayer life of families was varied but three quarters of parents claimed to pray with their children everyday, this was virtually the same as the number of parents stating that they pray at bedtime with their children. Indicating that praying with children largely takes place at bedtime. However prayer generally was added as an extra to the questionnaire by two respondents and further references were made to praying about school and life issues. It wasn’t clear whether this was spontaneous prayer, indicating that prayer is taking place at other times, or whether this was forming the basis of bedtime prayers.

How often do you pray ....? 20 18

Number replied

16 14

12

with your child.

10

for your child as a family

8 6 4 2 0

Page 22 of 50


Stormie tells us an important part of a parent’s job is to pray for their children because ‘the power of God penetrates a child’s life when a parent prays.’ (1995:19) It was noticeable that only a half of Christian parents prayed for their children everyday and roughly a third had no regular pattern of prayer for their children at all. In the gospels, we read of Jesus going to a solitary place to pray, spending all night in prayer, and encouraging his disciples to pray. His final act was an all-night prayer vigil. Jesus thought prayer was important, and the Bible is full of repeated commands for believers to pray. (1 Corinthians 1:11; Ephesians 6:18; Philippians 4:6; Colossians 4:2) The research revealed praying for their children didn’t appear to be as a high a priority as praying with their children. This is worrying if Turner’s claim is to be believed that praying for children ‘is important to their connection with God’ (2010:111) Considering the majority of participants were married and living with Christian partners very few families prayed together regularly. Roughly a quarter of participants admitted they never did; indicating those parents and their children lacked unity with God through prayer. Praying together indicates families are partners, building strong spiritual foundations in their homes. 1 Corinthians 3:9, 11 tells us no one lays the foundations like Christ Jesus, so it was disconcerting that this didn’t appear to be happening. Just over a third of participants admitted that they didn’t pray or chat to God when their children were around. This brings into question what kind of prayer example is being set in Christian homes? Turner would argue this also prevents children seeing that ‘Chatting with God is as normal as chatting to other people.’ (2010:138) While some participants mentioned they had a special place where they spent time alone with God the majority did not have this. It is impossible to develop intimacy in any relationship without spending consistent time alone, and a relationship with God is no exception. The participants responses could be because life has become one of constant prayer where they considered themselves to be continually in a relationship with God so they didn’t need a special place or it could be due to the many other time pressures of modern life. A few participants claimed their children had a special space, stating they had their own bedrooms, but there was no supporting evidence indicating the children were using their bedrooms to meet with God.

Page 23 of 50


Spirituality Roughly 50 percent of participants could recall a memorable spiritual experience of God as a child supporting the research cited by Hay and Nye. (2006:52) Although there were no accepted norms these participants largely described this encounter as a feeling or ‘felt sense’, a conscious perception of physical bodily awareness. Again, in keeping with Hay and Nye, who define spirituality as something that ‘can be sensed deep within our being but is something that cannot be seen or measured, with extremely vague connotations.’ (2006:18) Can you recall encountering God as a child? If yes can you describe what that looked or felt like? 

Feeling of warmth and safety and joy = 5

Excitement

Having a vision of a blade of grass and somehow knowing that there is a God

Overwhelming sense of peace when grieving

A loving environment that God was an important aspect of

Feeling of being completely overwhelmed laughing and crying.

Positive but nowhere near as meaningful or intense as my encounters as an adult

Security and overwhelming love

I have always felt that God was with me throughout my life

Through Sunday school stories and singing.

I have felt his love but it’s difficult to describe.

When asked to describe what they felt children’s spirituality was there were as many different definitions as there were participants, and there were several questionnaires left blank, highlighting the confusion surrounding this subject. Answers to this question also indicated that there was some confusion between understanding the difference between faith development and spirituality. Confusion is confirmed by the fact that the more than half of the participants openly admitted that they didn’t really understand spirituality themselves nor did they know how to nurture it in their children.

Page 24 of 50


Children’s Spirituality has been described as “God’s way of being with Children and Children’s way of being with God.” How would you describe children’s spirituality? *

Children grow to see and recognise God as always being there, faithful and can be trusted. He knows best and loves them. (from birth) Awareness of God and understanding that God is with them at all times. A simple openness to the idea that we are part of a bigger story. Understanding the simple truth of God before adults make it complicated Believing, speaking and receiving. Allowing them to build a relationship with God in ways appropriate for them.

*

Innocence and knowing there is someone else there to talk to along with parents (age 5-6) Simple, innocent, straight forward and Profound!

*

Nothing to add to the description given (age 2-3) I’m not sure I have a definition for it. I feel this is a weak area in our training and the churches teaching so I’m glad you’re looking at this. Having Jesus as a friend that they can talk to about anything. As the description

*

One to one with God a breath of fresh air. (from birth) Open honest and real like talking to the person next door Children are very accepting and open it is easier for God to connect with them as they put up less obstacles and don’t worry about if it seems possible. Ours just say yes God. Innate, simple, innocent and amazing

* Innocent, perhaps naïve (from 1 year) Identifying with freedom, God being part of their total life, being with them all of the time Children’s understanding of God * Simple, Curious (from birth) Not sure! Simple I query? My eldest understands God is everywhere and loves him * Their relationship with God as their special friend they can turn to. (from birth) Individual, nauturally inquisitive, uncomplicated and inspiring * 4 unanswered questions (1 of the parents who failed to respond to this question, claimed to fully understand spirituality and gave the age 2-3 as the time when children were ready to talk to God)

Page 25 of 50


A few parents were confident that they understood children’s Spirituality; they gave the definitions marked with an asterisk above. When comparing these responses to the definitions given by the experts in the book review it was clear the majority of these responses were too vague to confirm that understanding. One parent claimed to understand spirituality yet gave no definition as to what she felt it was and believed children needed to be two or three before you talked to them about God. When considering the data gathered from the other asterisked participants on the age that children were considered to be ready to talk about God, several other anomalies came to light; one of these was that none of the participants had any understanding of the fact that spirituality was innate. This led to the conclusion that what some participants thought they understood; they clearly didn’t. (Respondents, who claimed to understand spirituality, felt children were ready to connect with God, at the age recorded in the brackets.) Nurturing Spirituality All participants agreed that parents should take primary responsible for nurturing their children’s spirituality albeit some considered it to be a joint effort and recognised it takes a ‘healthy village,’ a church community to parent. (Copsey2005:145) Bunge claims ‘The family has the most potential of any institution for shaping the spiritual and moral lives of children.’ (2001:24) The dilemma this research has revealed is that most participants admitted that they didn’t have the skills or knowledge required to know how to nurture this in their children and most churches didn’t appear to be helping with it either. The need for further support from churches in this area was highlighted by more than 40% of those taking part in the research. Considering over a third of the participants were trained or training in the ministry field this is worrying. If those in paid positions of authority in churches are struggling to know how to nurture their own children how can they take on responsibility for helping other parents to support theirs? One participant stated “I feel this is a weak area in our training and our teaching as churches.” The research appears to support that claim. There were several questions where the answers given merely skimmed the surface of the subject and offered little in the way of further insight. The purpose of question 15 was to reveal whether parents understood children’s thinking, what were the things that captured children’s attention, what was it that made them feel close to, or more aware of God? Nye tells us Page 26 of 50


conversations with children can ‘explore children’s imaginings, ideas, feelings and ways of relating in order to develop a broader impression of their spiritual life.’ (2009: 35) Creation was clearly the focus of many children’s conversations when they were out and about with the participants but there was nothing recorded in the answers that revealed that the participants had seen any signs of children being with God or God being with them. The questionnaire didn’t allow for deciphering whether this was because the question wasn’t clear or whether participants were unable to recognise these signs. It is by watching and listening that we are able to understand more fully what children reveal of God and his purpose and nature. Were the participants even aware of where children’s relationship with God could begin? Participants were also nearing the end of the questionnaire at this point and could have grown weary of answering the questions. Given the information already gleaned in this research either option was possible. Participants were aware of their children’s questioning and search for answers. The majority claimed to talk to their children about life issues as they arose in an honest and open manner; they were also good at recognising the profound questions that children had to ask and responding to them. The recorded responses to these questions clearly show people were doing their best to answer honestly. Whether aware of it or not the participants appeared to be naturally nurturing spirituality in this area by their willingness to give the time needed to respond to their children’s questions. They were also modelling to their children that it’s acceptable to speak freely and ask questions about spiritual things. Nye commends this, saying ‘When given free rein, children can talk at length, and in depth, about most spiritual issues including the purpose of life, the mystery of death , their experience of God, the question of suffering and the reality of evil.’ (2009:27) The responses to question 17 show children are moral beings who are capable of reflecting on their actions. All bar one of the participants were able to see from their children’s reactions, that they had done something wrong. Children crying or going sheepish indicates that children’s Christian upbringing or spiritual sense appeared to be guiding them in knowing the difference between right and wrong. However, when the participants were asked how children learnt right from wrong physical examples tended to be given. E.g. By the consequences of their actions, through punishment, and the example that parents set. Again this could have been down to confusion over understanding the questionnaire but it could also be due to a lack of

Page 27 of 50


understanding of the inner voice that provides guidance. This is an area for further consideration in the individual interviews.

Page 28 of 50


Chapter Six: Individual Interviews ___________________________________________________________________________ Verbal consent for individual interviews was sought from four families in my home church at the beginning of the research process. However by the time this stage in the proceedings had been reached two of the four participants were in hospital and medically unfit to participate. Attempts were made to recruit other volunteers from the same group but the pool was small with only four families remaining. The general consensus amongst these families was that they had nothing further to offer. Two admitting, they hadn’t even completed the original questionnaires because their knowledge on the subject was poor. The two remaining, original participants, felt similarly, when approached they both exercised their right to withdraw. This was disappointing, preventing me deriving any further understanding of the situation and leaving me with an open curiosity about participants understanding of the relationship between spirituality and morality and their understanding of the need to watch and listen in order to recognise what is being expressed; also their understanding of the deeper non verbal channels of children’s spirituality and the ambiguous forms these can take.

Page 29 of 50


Chapter Seven: Summary of the Research findings ___________________________________________________________________________ This was an extremely challenging piece of research for some participants making them feel uncomfortable and inadequate as parents; indicating that they recognised just how complex a subject children’s spirituality is. All participants recognised that they had a responsibility to nurture spirituality in their children but the reality was the majority admitted they didn’t have the understanding or knowledge necessary to know how to do it. Having analysed the results it was clear all participants had some understanding of faith development and Christian practices were taking place in all Christian homes. There were approximately a third of participants who claimed to understand children’s spirituality but this research was effective in highlighting just how little they did know. It also highlighted how poor churches were in supporting parents in this field. An area that will need addressing in order to meet the needs of children and families in the future. A further problem that needs addressing is the training of those in ministry. Nye states ‘The extent to which those in authority (clergy, ministers) lead by example should not be underestimated. The attitude and behaviour they take towards children’s spiritual capacities will often influence the approach of parents and children’s leaders without either knowing it!’ (2009:95)

Page 30 of 50


Chapter Eight: Research Recommendations and Suggestions for Future Research ___________________________________________________________________________ This research is still very much a work in progress and there are possibly more questions than answers. However even at this early stage a number of very interesting facts have come to light that will need further exploration to fully understand the reason for the answers given. It is clear that the majority of Christian parents have limited or no understanding of spirituality in their children. This confirms my original hypothesis and answers my research question; because what they do not understand they clearly can not nurture. What is not clear and is an area for further research, is exactly why this is. Is it purely down to the lack of support and teaching on Children’s spirituality by churches, which appears to be an area highlighted in the research, or is it much deeper than that, perhaps an indication that parents own spiritual development has being neglected or hindered in some way? Ministerial training is another area of concern. Further research needs to take place in order to gain a deeper understanding of the level of training taking place nationally in children’s ministry. This research was limited to those training in one organisation. It was clear that those training for ministry did not have any greater insight into children’s spirituality than the average parent, indicating that something is wrong. Spiritual development is enshrined by law in schools in England and all teachers are expected to provide opportunities for spiritual development and to integrate it into all areas of learning. Do churches have something to learn from this example? Does the training college also have something to learn from this research? A copy will be forwarded to them for consideration. Implications for my future practise In my home church there will be room for further dialogue when the original participants have reached a full recovery and when the research findings are shared. I hope his will pave the way for drawing up a policy for future practice which will look at supporting both the needs of the parents and the children.

Page 31 of 50


Chapter Nine: Conclusion ___________________________________________________________________________ This study confirms the fact that children clearly possess a rich spiritual dimension to their lives that can be seen through their inbuilt curiosity about the world. Spirituality expresses itself in awe and wonder; in the profound questions about life, where they came from; and the meaning of death. It can be nurtured if those who spend time with children are aware of their ‘imaginings, views, questions, play and ideas.’ (Nye 2009:7) Children’s spirituality has been well researched by specialists in recent years. Although a significant amount of this is readily available this study indicates that very little information appears to have filtered down to churches and Christian parents. Through surveying the findings it was clear that there was still much confusion over this subject. Even though 50% of participants admitted having there own spiritual experience as a child most still didn’t understand what spirituality was. Feelings of embarrassment and inadequacy were expressed by some, particularly those who declined to take part in the individual interviews, some realised their ignorance and felt that they were failing in their responsibilities as parents. . Almost half of those responding to the survey were ministers or children/youth workers in training. You would think that those training in this field would have a well developed knowledge of the subject however the research revealed that their knowledge was not any greater than that of the average parent in the pew. One ministerial student remarked that she felt this was a “weak area in churches teaching and ministerial training.” The evidence appears to support this claim. If those in positions of authority in our churches do not have the necessary skills to support their own children it is questionable whether they have the skills to support the many other parents in their congregations. This brings into question the kind of training that Ministers are receiving and the perception of the value of children’s work in churches. ‘One would think with all the talk about family values that the church has spewed out over the last two decades that most if not all, churches would take seriously the importance of family in the spiritual nurture of their own children. One would think that churches would work hard at empowering parents to model faith at home and to use

Page 32 of 50


teachable moments and intentional practices to positively nurture their children in Spirituality. One would think that would be the basis of Children’s ministry. But that’s not the case at all.’(Beckwith 2004: 102.) This research supports Beckwith’s comments, there appears to be many parents leaving church buildings each week without the knowledge to know how to care for the spiritual lives of their children. A consequence of parental inaction, poor training of church leaders and lack of knowledge in churches is that we are robbing our children of what they were designed for - to be in a relationship with God. (Turner 2010:8) By continuing to over look the spiritual lives of children, Children’s Christian journeys could be beginning with ‘the negative lesson that a central core of their spiritual engagement is both invisible to others and presumably of lesser value’ (Richards and Privett 2009:73) In churches across this country there are thousands of untrained volunteers involved in children’s work, considering the knowledge now gained, it would be worth considering how many of these understand how fundamental spirituality is. It is clear from the research that all the parents were trying their best to encourage Christian practises in their homes, they are clearly teaching their children about God but it appears to be all head knowledge rather than relational. The separation of faith development and spirituality appeared to be a problem for some. This could be seen in their descriptions of spirituality. Faith and spirituality are intrinsically connected; this is something that needs to be separated before people can have any real understanding of spirituality; suggesting that this is a logical first step for anyone wishing to start addressing this issue. There is no room for ignorance or complacency where Children’s Spirituality is concerned ‘if spirituality is given the attention it deserves we can make a vital and positive contribution to children’s lives’ (Nye 2009:X1) Churches need to step up to the mark and start addressing this issue. Ignorance of the most basic spiritual knowledge is leading to misguided thinking and false values. Parents and churches must begin to recognise their God-given responsibility to give children the right foundations in life because if they don’t there are plenty of others who will. Many of today’s children are being raised in nurseries or by child minders, as they get older teachers, peers, TV personalities, the media and fashion trends begin to influence them. If parents and churches are not prepared to make the effort to nurture children’s spirituality it Page 33 of 50


will wither and die and other things will take over and ‘train children up in the way they should go.’ Word count 9790

Page 34 of 50


Appendix 1 – Questionnaire A Questionnaire for Christian Parents - Nurturing Spirituality in Children Under 16. 1. What denomination of Christian Church do you attend? (Please circle)

Church of England,

Baptist,

Methodist,

Free Church,

Other

2. Are you? (Please circle all that apply) Male,

Living with a Christian partner,

Female, Married, Living with a Non Christian Partner, A lone Parent

3. Are you employed or working for a Church.

Yes / No A family in a church congregation Yes / No Other please state ____________________________________________________

4. How often do you attend Church with your child? (Please circle)

Weekly,

Fortnightly,

Monthly,

No regular pattern

5. How old are your children? ______________________________________________ 6. Which of the following do you do at home with your children? (Please tick all that apply)

Read Bible Stories / Christian Books Say Grace before Meals Pray at Bedtimes Chat about God as part of your everyday conversations

Watch Christian DVDs Listen to Christian Music Sing Christian Songs Play on a Christian Theme, e.g. Godly Play

7. Is there anything else you consciously do as a family to help your children grow in

the Christian Faith or connect to God? Yes / NO (If yes Please give details) ____________________________________________________________________________________

8. Please tick all that apply Daily

Weekly

No regular pattern

I don’t do this

How often do you pray with your child? How often do you pray for your child? How often do you pray as a family? 9. Do your children ever witness you chatting out loud to God or engaged in private

prayer at home? (Please circle) Everyday, Most Weeks, Occasionally, I don’t pray/chat when my children are around. 10. Do you have a special place at home where you can spend time alone with God?

Yes / No Are you aware of your children having a special place? Yes/ No

(if yes please give details) _____________________________________________________________________________________

Page 35 of 50


11. At what age do you think you should begin to talk to children about God and why

do you feel this is the right time to begin? ______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ 12. Children’s Spirituality has been described as “God’s way of being with Children

and Children’s way of being with God.” How would you describe children’s spirituality ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

13. Who do you think should take Primary responsibility for nurturing Children’s

Spirituality? (Please tick) Parents Leaders of the children’s work The wider church Schools Grand Parents/ God Parents/ Extended

Family

14. Do you feel you receive enough support from your church to help you understand

and nurture your children’s Spirituality? (please tick) I understand children’s spirituality and I receive the support I need. I understand Children’s Spirituality but I need help to know how to nurture my children. I don’t really understand Children’s Spirituality myself. 15. When you are out walking with your children what if anything captures their

attention and makes them Stop and talk? __________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ 16. In the last month has your child asked you any profound questions?

Yes / No If yes what were they and how did you respond? ______________________________________________________________________ 17. How do you know when your child has done something wrong e.g. how do they react? ____________________________________________________________________________________

18. How do your children learn right from wrong?

______________________________________________________________________ 19. How do you help your child to address the Anomalies in life e.g. Death, Birth, Creation? _____________________________________________________________ 20. Research has shown approx 50% of the population have had a spiritual experience, many in childhood. Can you recall encountering God as a child? Yes/No If Yes can you describe what that looked or felt like? ______________________________________________________________________ Thank you for taking the time to respond to my questionnaire, your help is very much appreciated

Page 36 of 50


Appendix 2 – Covering letter Reference number Dear Participant I am hoping that you will be willing to spare me a few minutes to read this consent form and fill in the attached questionnaire. I am a 3 rd year student currently studying for a degree in Children and Family work and Practical Theology at Bristol Centre for Youth Ministry. As part of that degree I am required to do a dissertation. For this study I will be looking at what Christian parents understand of their children’s spirituality and how/if at all, they nurture it. The aim of this study is to see how churches can help and support families with this important role. I am hoping that this survey will help me and others to improve the service we offer in the future. The questionnaire is relatively simple and completely anonymous; even I will not know who has completed each form. If you do not wish to take part that’s fine you are under no obligations to do so. If you are happy to participate but would prefer not to answer all the questions please leave them blank. At the top of both this letter and the questionnaire there is a reference number, this is for you, so that you have the right to withdraw your opinions at a later date if you wish. If at any point you feel that you do not want to take part in my survey simply inform me of your reference number before 21stMarch 2012 and I will remove you from my study. Once the study is complete (Aug 2012) all copies of the questionnaire will be shredded. Questionnaires handed in will be shared with no one other than myself and my tutor. The results once compiled will be part of my dissertation and seen by others but there is an assurance of anonymity throughout. I believe this will be a worth while study that could benefit your own children and others. So I would like to encourage you to spend a few minutes completing it. If you have any further questions please do not hesitate to contact me. Many thanks for your time

Tina Collins

07763208680 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Please separate this part of the form in order to guarantee your anonymity. Post this and your completed questionnaires in the boxes provided at CYM or St Nicholas Church. Envelopes will be provided for this section. If you are unable to access these boxes please return both parts to the person who handed it to you.

. I understand that by completing the attached questionnaire I am contributing to

a study on Nurturing Children’s Spirituality. . I understand I have the right to withdraw before the 21st March 2012,to do this I will need to notify Tina Collins of my unique reference number.

Signature - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Page 37 of 50

DATE -- - - - - - - - - -


Appendix 3 - Research Findings _____________________________________________________________________ A Questionnaire for Christian Parents - Nurturing Spirituality in Children under 16 Original questionnaire with exact responses recorded in red or graph form 1. What denomination of Christian Church do you attend? Church of England, Baptist, Methodist, Free Church, Other (Congregational) none 12 11 1 1 1 1 2 . Are you? (please circle all that apply) Male, Female, Married, Living with a Christian partner, Living with a Non Christian Partner, A lone Parent Male

Female x x

Married x

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

x x

Living/ C Partner x

Living/ NC Partner

A lone parent

x x x

x x x x x x

x x x x x x

x x x x x x x

x x x x x

x x x x

x x x x

Page 38 of 50


3. Are you employed or working for a Church. A family in a church congregation Other please state - We run a small Missional group out of the church Are you ‌‌ in a church? 25

Number replied

20

15 employed/working a family in church

10

5

0 Yes

No

Unanswered

4. How often do you attend Church with your child? Weekly, Fortnightly, Monthly, No regular pattern 21 2 0 4 5. How old are your children?

How old are your children? 16 14 12

Number replied

10 8 6 4 2 0 Under 11

Under and over 11

Page 39 of 50

Over 11


6. Which of the following do you do at home with your children? Read Bible Stories / Christian Books

20

Watch Christian DVDs (1 person stating

8

Evan Almighty! - this is a Walt Disney film)

Say Grace before Meals Pray at Bedtimes Chat about God as part of your everyday conversations Pray generally (added by participants)

12 21 26

Listen to Christian Music Sing Christian Songs Play on a Christian Theme, e.g. Godly Play

15 13 1

2

7. Is there anything else you consciously do as a family to help your children grow in the Christian Faith or connect to God? Yes = 15 No = 5 No response = 7 Other things mentioned were:  Holiday clubs and other religious events e.g. Greenbelt, Spring Harvest and Messy church = 7 participants  Daily reading notes = 1  Discussing and praying about school issues /life issues = 3  Talking about creation = 1  Talk about signs of God at work in the world =1  I run a Christian Youth Group partly for them = 1  Include our children in our home group = 2  Send them to Christian clubs e.g. Sunday School and Lighthouse =1  Play with Christian friends =1 8. Please tick all that apply How often do you pray ....? 25

Number replied

20 15

with your child. for your child as a family

10 5 0

Page 40 of 50


9. Do your children ever witness you chatting out loud to God or engaged in private prayer at home?

Do your children witness you chatting out loud to God in private prayer at home? 10 9

8

Number replied

7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 Everyday

Most Weeks

Occasionally

Never

10. Do you have a special place at home where you can spend time alone with God? Yes = 7, 2 saying their study, I saying the kitchen table or everywhere, 4 not saying where No = 19 Unanswered question = 1 Are you aware of your children having a special place? Yes = 6, 4 stating children have their own bedroom, 1 stating they say prayers at bedtime, 1 not saying where. No = 17 Unanswered = 4

Page 41 of 50


11. At what age do you think you should begin to talk to children about God and why do you feel this is the right time to begin?

At what age do you think you should begin to talk to children about God? 20 18

16

Number replied

14 12 10 8 6 4 2 0 From birth

1

2/3

4/5/6

Any age

When they ask

Reasons given: From Birth - So the grow up thinking it’s normal and a part of life = 11 participants - Sing simple songs and read bible stories = 1 - So they can make their own choice when their older =1 - God is part of everything=1 - No explanation given =5 From 1 - No explanation given From 2-3 - That’s when they begin to understand = 3 From 4-6 - That’s when they begin to understand = 2 Any Age - God is found in the memory. When they ask – When they ask is when they understand

Page 42 of 50


12. Children’s Spirituality has been described as “God’s way of being with Children and Children’s way of being with God.” How would you describe children’s spirituality? * Children grow to see and recognise God as always being there, faithful and can be trusted. He knows best and loves them. Awareness of God and understanding that God is with them at all times. A simple openness to the idea that we are part of a bigger story. Understanding the simple truth of God before adults make it complicated Believing, speaking and recieving Allowing them to build a relationship with God in ways appropriate for them * Innocence and knowing there is someone else there to talk to along with parents Simple, innocent, straight forward and Profound! * Nothing to add to the description given I’m not sure I have a definition for it, I feel this is a week area in churches teaching so I’m glad you’re looking at this Having Jesus as a friend that they can talk to about anything As the description * One to one with God a breath of fresh air. Open honest and real like talking to the person next door Children are very accepting and open it is easier for God to connect with them as they put up less obstacles and don’t worry about if it seems possible. Ours just say yes God. Innate, simple, innocent and amazing * Innocent, perhaps naive Identifying with freedom, God being part of their total life, being with them all of the time Children’s understanding of God * Simple, Curious Not sure! Simple I query? My eldest understands God is everywhere and loves him * Their relationship with God as their special friend they can turn to. Individual, nauturally inquisitive, uncomplicated and inspiring * 4 unanswered questions 13. Who do you think should take Primary responsibility for nurturing Children’s Spirituality? Parents Leaders of the children’s work The wider church Schools Grand Parents/ God Parents/ Extended Family

20

3 saying Joint between the parents and wider Church 1 saying joint between parents, extended family and schools 1 saying joint between parents and the leaders of the children’s work 2 saying all of the above

Page 43 of 50


14. Do you feel you receive enough support from your church to help you understand and nurture your children’s Spirituality? I understand children’s spirituality and I receive the support I need. Those answering yes to this have given the definitions marked * on question 12 above

8

I understand Children’s Spirituality but I need help to know how to nurture my children.

11 4

I don’t really understand Children’s Spirituality myself. Did not answer this question = 4

15. When you are out walking with your children what if anything captures their attention and makes them Stop and Talk?             

Answers relating to Creation /animals /the natural world = 9 Everything and anything = 3 Bad behaviour of others = 1 (gave two answers so also recorded under creation) We are always available and open to talk about everything =1 We discuss it there and then. =1 I will listen to them and discuss any questions they have =1 Cool bikes or Yellow cars! /cars = 2 Unusual happenings =1 Things they can see and name =1 Things that aren’t related to what we can see =1 Whatever in on their mind =1 I don’t really understand this question =1 Didn’t answer this question = 5

16. In the last month has your child asked you any profound questions? Yes = 16

No = 9

Unanswered = 2

If yes what were they and how did you respond?       

Questions asked and responses given; Why do you have cancer? Response not recorded Questions trying to make sense of death and heaven – I explained about bodies and spirits. How do you stand firm in what you believe at school?- I read some extracts from ‘Jesus Freaks’ about standing true, this is the only way even though it may be hard. Why do people hate Christians? We talked about being civil to everyone because God overcomes evil in the end. Question not disclosed but the responses was – We discussed it What is sin? I explained it is anything bad and It’s consequences in simple language. Can science end in God?- We discussed it

Page 44 of 50


        

Did God create the world in 7 days? – Most people think of the creation story as not being literal. What is hell? - I described it as a place of total separation from God but I didn’t feel it was an adequate response. Can God see us, is he real? - Response not recorded Is God blue because that’s the colour of the sky? - Response not recorded If God created us why are we not all white? - Response not recorded About feelings he wanted to die when he was in pain, How would he look in the future? -Response not recorded My eldest ask lots I reply the best I can Will I go to Hell if I don’t believe? Where is God? Response not recoreded. What would you say if a non Christian asked you, Why did you become a Christian? I explained but he thought my answer was naff.

17. How do you know when your child has done something wrong e.g. how do they react?        

They get upset and angry =8 Lack of eye contact =3 Quite / sheepish or worried = 5 They will tell us = 6 They are bad liars =1 They will hide =1 Look guilty or a bit cheeky = 2 I don’t know it’s hard to tell

18. How do your children learn right from wrong?           

Naughty step=1 From Parents teachers and Church =5 Consequences of their actions- the opportunity to put it right = 4 We praise good and feign sadness to encourage reflection = 2 Talk about how God will feel about it/ or what Jesus might do = 3 To treat others as they would like to be treated=1 The example we set = 4 Discipline/ punishment =3 Parental discussion=1 I tell them =2 They learn by making mistakes =1

Page 45 of 50


19. How do you help your child to address the Anomalies in life e.g. Death, Birth, Creation?            

Talk about things as the situation arises, being honest and up front giving them the opportunity to ask the questions =14 Pets help =2 Explain there are things beyond our understanding =1 Creative processes =1 Talk about it as it is in the Bible =1 Explain that God created everything and it is good =1 I tell them to think about the purpose of life Through faith, children’s Bibles, and personal experience =3 By explaining a lady has a baby in her tummy and then telling them it has come out. Explain that life is a gift we should enjoy; when we die we go to be with God to tell him our life journey By telling them that death is not the end and that we will go to be with Jesus My children are too young to be concerned with this

20. Research has shown approx 50% of the population have had a spiritual experience, many in childhood. Can you recall encountering God as a child? Yes = 15

No = 12

If Yes can you describe what that looked or felt like?           

Feeling of warmth and safety and joy = 5 Excitement Having a vision of a blade of grass and somehow knowing that there is a God Overwhelming sense of peace when grieving A loving environment that God was an important aspect of Feeling of being completely overwhelmed laughing and crying. Positive but nowhere near as meaningful or intense as my encounters as an adult Security and overwhelming love I have always felt that God was with me throughout my life Through Sunday school stories and singing. Felt his love but difficult to describe.

Page 46 of 50


Bibliography ___________________________________________________________________________ Adams, K. Hyde, B. Woolley, R., (2008) The Spiritual Dimension of Childhood, London: Jessica Kingsley publishers. Beckwith, I. (2004) Postmodern Children’s Ministry, Grand Rapids, Michagan: Zondervan. Bell, J. (2010) Doing your Research Project- A guide for first-time researchers in education, health and social science, 5th edt. Berkshire: Open University Press. Bunge, M. (2001) The Child in Christian thought, Michigan: Erdmans publishing. Copsey, K. (2005) From the ground up, Oxford: Bible Reading Fellowship. Croft, S. Frost, R. Ireland, M. Richards, A. Richmond, Y. Spencer, N. (2005) Evangelism in a spiritual Age, London: Church house publishing. Denscombe, M. (2000) The Good Research Guide, for small-scale social research projects, Buckham: Open University Press. Hay, D. Nye, R. (2006) The Spirit of the Child, revised edition, London: Jessica Kingsley publishers. Hope, S. (2006) Mission Shaped Spirituality, the transforming power of mission, London: Church house publishing. Hyde, B. (2008) Children and Spirituality, Searching for Meaning and Connectedness, London: Jessica Kingsley. Lamont, R. (2007) Understanding Children understanding God, London: SPCK. Layard, R. (2009) A Good Childhood, searching for values in a competitive age, London: Penguin books. Page 47 of 50


McGrath, A. (1999) Christian Spirituality an Introduction, Oxford: Blackwell Publishers. Griffiths, M. (2009) One Generation from Extinction, Oxford: Monarch books. Nye, R. (2009) Children’s Spirituality what it is and why it matters. London: Church House publishing. Punch, K. (2005) Introduction to Social Research - Quantitive and Qualitative Approaches, 2ndedt, London: Sage Publications. Richards, A. and Privett, P. (2009) Through the eyes of a child- New insights in theology from a child’s perspective. London: Church house publishing. Robson, C. (1999) Real World Research, Oxford: Blackwell Publishers. Stormie, 0. (1995) The Power of a Praying Parent, Oregon: Harvest house publishing. Turner, R. (2010) Parenting Children for a life of faith, Abingdon: Bible Reading Fellowship.

Westerhoff, J. (2000) Will Our Children Have Faith? Revised edition, Canada: Morehouse publishing. Ofsted- (2004) Guidance Paper- Promoting and evaluating pupils’ Spiritual, moral, social and cultural development, Ofsted: Manchester. The Oxford English dictionary http://oxforddictionaries.com: accessed 29/12/2011. The Church of England Going4growth resourse sheets. http://www.going4growth.org.uk/downloads/Childrens_Spirituality_Quotes.doc: accessed 20/3/2012. Conference - Children’s spirituality: what can parents do? http://communications.london.anglican.org/ministrymatters/2011/09/childrensspirituality-what-can-parents-do/ attended on 5/11/2011.

Page 48 of 50


Page 49 of 50


Acknowledgements ___________________________________________________________________________ It is with a genuine sense of gratitude that I acknowledge the kindness of a large number of people who have helped with this study. Firstly to my Church, who have loved me, believed in me and allowed me the honour of being part of their children’s lives. It has been a wonderful privilege to work amongst you. Secondly, a big thank-you to my friends who were generous with their time and helped me to distribute and collect the questionnaires and of course all the participants who shared their personal information. Without your willingness to participate this study would not have taken place. My tutor who guided me when I was lost, and willingly shared her knowledge and enthusiasm for the subject. Without her encouragement I wouldn’t have known where to start. Finally a special thank you to my family who have never let me give up, they have been around to pick up the pieces when I’ve needed them too and they have encouraged me every step of the way.

Page 50 of 50


Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.