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Aug. 19, 2009 QUICK CALENDAR

Mission Yearbook Prayer

Sept 1, COM Meeting @Central, noon

You in whom all help and health arise, guard us from pride in our accomplishments. May our deeds rise like a fragrant offering to you, so that the work you do in us may lift up the lowly and sweep the mighty from their seats. May the earth be filled with new knowledge for you, O Lord. even as waters cover the sea. In Jesus' name, Amen.

New Book of Order Available in the Presbytery Office 2009-2011 Book of Order $8 You can read it/download it online.

Looking Ahead and Making Plans? Make Sure to Include Montreat!

Aug 20, Council Meeting @INP, 10a-2p

How and where do we get our soul strength renewed? That God is our answer is no surprise, but there are intriguing surprises in Prayers for the New Social Awakening: Inspired by the New Social Creed -- an Orthodox theologian prays for the bees, the former head of Witness for Peace provides a prayer for persons in recovery, a retired CIA agent prays for integrity for spies, a tax lawyer prays for tax fairness, a biblical scholar and a potter describe how to pray-especially for rain and an unknown immigrant from Mexico provides a lament for immigrants suffocated in a locked truck on the Texas border. The book features almost 100 prayers that demonstrate the reality truth that justice issues are spiritual issues. &&Since 1946, the General Assembly, acting out of faith in Jesus Christ, has recognized that working for God's intended order and life abundant involves seeking international disarmament and arms control measures. [PDF] A new moment for that work has arrived. President Obama, Senator McCain and others, including former Cold Warriors, have begun to speak of limiting and eliminating nuclear weapons. They have called the U.S. to ratify the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty. President Obama and Russian President Medvedev have agreed on the basic terms of a treaty to reduce the number of warheads and missiles to the lowest levels since early in the Cold War. Find resources for study and advocacy. &&&&Peacemaking Program Notes Learn about upcoming events. The Commitment to Peacemaking provides a tool to organize peacemaking ministry. Use the prayers on Spiritual Nurture for Peacemakers in personal devotions and corporate worship.Follow Swords into Plowshares, the Presbyterian Peacemaking Program blog. Contribute to the Peacemaking Offering.


PHONE: 630-627-0507 FAX: 630-627-0519 E-MAIL: Admin@LMPeaceCenter.org WEBSITE: www.LMPeaceCenter.org Lombard Mennonite Peace Center 101 West 22nd Street, Suite 206, Lombard, IL 60148 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation. – 2 Corinthians 5:18

For Immediate Release Contact: Ginny Hrushka April 2009 Lombard Mennonite Peace Center To Offer “Mediation Skills Training Institute for Church Leaders” “The Mediation Skills Training Institute . . . was ‘life transforming’ for me . . . My faith and call to

peacemaking came together . . . My ministry and life will not be the same and I am equipped to be ‘part of the solution’ instead of being part of the problem.” This was the sentiment of a pastor/therapist who participated in Lombard Mennonite Peace Center’s (LMPC) Mediation Skills Training Institute for Church Leaders. Other participants in the training have had similar responses. During the week of October 5-9, 2009, LMPC will be conducting this dynamic training event at St. John the Apostle United Methodist Church in Arlington, Texas. The leader of the institute will be Richard Blackburn, LMPC Executive Director. The Mediation Skills Training Institute has also been described by participants as being “A great event for developing skills in working with conflict in the church,” as “the best continuing education event I’ve attended in all my years of ministry,” and as “Well worth your investment of self as well as resources.” One participant advises, “You must take one week out of your life to do this!” The institute focuses on: individual styles of response to conflict; win-win negotiation skills; skills to mediate conflict between individuals; and tools to effectively manage congregational conflict. A component on group consultation and intervention is also included. Specific attention is given to mediating conflict in the church, though the skills gained are also helpful in other settings including the home, the school, and the workplace. LMPC is committed to the mission of helping the church grow into health and wholeness, into all that Christ wants the church to be. LMPC pursues that mission by conducting workshops on biblical peacemaking and conflict transformation skills and by providing mediation and consultation services for conflicted churches in addition to offering several Mediation Skills Training Institutes yearly. The cost for this five-day institute is $650 if registered by September 7, 2009, and $725 after that date. A registration brochure and other information may be obtained by writing to: LMPC, 101 W. 22nd St., Suite 206, Lombard, IL 60148. Email Admin@LMPeaceCenter.org or call 630-627-0507. Also, learn more about LMPC and other training events at the website: www.LMPeaceCenter.org. xxx

All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation. – 2 Corinthians 5:18


Schedule The Mediation Skills Training Institute runs daily from 8:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., with the exception of Monday, which starts at 9:00 a.m., and Friday, which concludes at 4:00 p.m. Monday, 8/3, 10/5, 11/16 Introduction: The Nature and Role of Conflict Conflict in the Bible: Finding Renewal in Conflict Understanding Your Own Style of Response to Conflict Your Personal Style Profile for Communication at Work Affirming Your Strengths and Managing Your Excesses Tuesday, 8/4, 10/6, 11/17 Interpersonal Peacemaking Skills: How to Be Effective When People Are Angry Interpersonal Peacemaking Skills: Negotiating Win-Win Solutions Mediating Conflict Between Individuals: An Overview of the Process Mediation Skills: Getting People to the Table Mediation Skills: The Introduction Stage Wednesday, 8/5, 10/7, 11/18 Mediation Skills: The Story-Telling Stage Mediation Skills: The Problem-Solving Stage Mediation Skills: The Agreement Stage Thursday, 8/6, 10/8, 11/19 Mediating Multi-Party Disputes Congregational Conflict: Understanding Conflict in Groups Family Systems Theory and Church Conflict Designing Effective Group Decision-Making Procedures Congregational Conflict: Structuring Dialogue When Anxiety Is High Friday, 8/7, 10/9, 11/20 Mediating Congregational Disputes: An Overview of the Intervention Process Mediation Skills: Early Phases of the Intervention Mediation Skills: Healing and Problem-Solving Phases Mediation Skills: Bringing Closure to the Intervention Overview The institute includes lectures, discussion, and guided practice in role-plays. Active and practical in focus, the sessions emphasize hands-on skills training and real-life role-plays based on the kinds of conflicts faced by participants. A more detailed description of the sessions is available upon request. Locations August 3-7, 2009 St. Barnabas Episcopal Church 22W415 Butterfield Rd. Glen Ellyn, IL October 5-9, 2009 St. John the Apostle United Methodist Church 5450 Mansfield Rd. Arlington, TX


November 16-20, 2009 New Philadelphia Moravian Church 4440 Country Club Road Winston-Salem, NC A map for those traveling by car, as well as information about travel from airports, will be sent with confirmation of registration in any of the institutes. Meals and Accommodations Daily refreshments and lunches on Monday and Friday are included. Participants will need to arrange for their own lodging and the other meals. Lodging options, directions, and a registrant list will be sent with confirmation of registration, after the pre-registration deadline. Tuition Tuition is $650 when paid by: July 6 for the August institute; September 7 for the October institute; October 19 for the November institute or $725 after those dates. Participants receive a training manual and other materials upon arrival. Cancellations are subject to a $75 non-refundable fee if LMPC is notified at least two weeks prior to the institute, or half of the registration fee otherwise. Enrollment is limited, so register early. Send form and full payment. Trainer Richard Blackburn is the Executive Director of the Lombard Mennonite Peace Center. LMPC desires to equip others to be ministers of reconciliation in daily life. Richard has led hundreds of workshops on conflict transformation and mediation skills, and serves as a mediator and consultant for individuals, churches, schools, and other organizations. For Further Information Write: Lombard Mennonite Peace Center 101 West 22nd Street, Suite 206 Lombard, IL 60148 Call: (630) 627-0507 Fax: (630) 627-0519 E-mail: Admin@LMPeaceCenter.org Web Site: www.LMPeaceCenter.org About the Institute Other LMPC Programs Here I Stand: Leading Change Through Self-Differentiation Here I Stand equips pastors to address congregational patterns of conflict, blaming, and distancing by inviting members toward greater clarity of core beliefs and principles. Clergy Clinic in Family Emotional Process Clergy Clinic in Family Emotional Process is designed to enhance the ability of participants to function as differentiated leaders in their ministry setting. The clinic meets 3 times each program year, 3 days each, for 9 full days of training. For further information: www.LMPeaceCenter.org


Registration Form Enclose payment of $900 for the series ($1,000 after 9/22/09). Make checks payable (in US funds) to “LMPC.” Clip and mail to: Lombard Mennonite Peace Center, 101 West 22nd Street, Suite 206, Lombard, IL 60148. Name (s) ______________________________________________________ Home Phone ____________________ Address _________________________________________City__________________ State ______ Zip _________ Congregation/Organization ________________________________ Work Phone ____________________________ Personal Email ____________________________________ Other Email __________________________________ ____ Register me for the 2009-2010 Clergy Clinic in Family Emotional Process. _____ Group A _____ Group B ____ Send me _________ more copies of this brochure for sharing with clergy colleagues. ____ Let me know of workshops on family systems theory and congregational systems that can be held in my church. ____ Keep me informed about LMPC’s: ____ Future Clergy Clinics. ____ Here I Stand: Leading Change Through Self-Differentiation ____ Mediation Skills Training Institute for Church Leaders. Please check if registering: I have read read and agree to the cancellation policy explained under “Tuition” in this brochure.


Schedule The Clergy Clinic meets three times each year for three successive days each time for a total of nine days. Participants choose one of the two groups to attend: Group A: Group B: October 26-28, 2009 November 9-11, 2009 February 22-24, 2010 March 8-10, 2010 April 26-28, 2010 May 17-19, 2010 Mondays 10/26; 2/22; 4/26 or 11/9; 3/8; 5/17 1:00 p.m. Faculty Input or Congregational Case Study Presentations 5:30 p.m. Supper (provided on site) 6:30 p.m. Faculty Input 8:00 p.m. Adjournment Tuesdays 10/27; 2/23; 4/27 or 11/10; 3/9; 5/18 9:00 a.m. Input: Bowen Family Systems Theory 12:00 p.m. Lunch (on your own) 1:30 p.m. Family of Origin Groups 5:00 p.m. Adjournment Wednesdays 10/28; 2/24; 4/28 or 11/11; 3/10; 5/19 9:00 a.m. Input: Emotional Process and Congregational Systems 12:00 p.m. Lunch (on your own) 1:15 p.m. Congregational Case Study Presentations 4:30 p.m. Conclusion Location First Church of Lombard, UCC 220 South Main Street, Lombard, Illinois Lombard is in the western suburbs of Chicago, approximately 30-45 minutes by car from both O’are and Midway airports. A map and hotel list will be sent with confirmation of registration. Tuition Tuition is $900 for the entire series for registrations received prior to September 22, 2009. The fee is $1,000 for registrations received after that date. To register, return the form with full payment. Cancellations are subject to a $75 administration fee when we receive notification three or more weeks before the clinic begins, or half the registration fee otherwise. There are no refunds or credit for missed sessions. Faculty Richard Blackburn is Executive Director of the Lombard Mennonite Peace Center. He has broad experience as a trainer, mediator, and consultant with conflicted churches and their leaders. The congregational mediation model he developed represents a transformational approach, placed within the context of Bowen family systems theory. For several years, he attended Edwin Friedman’ Post Graduate Clergy Seminar in Family Emotional Process in Bethesda, MD. Richard has also participated in the Postgraduate Program in Bowen Family Systems Theory and Its Applications at the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family in Washington, D.C. He is an ordained Mennonite minister. Robert Williamson serves with LMPC in an Adjunct Faculty role. He is a graduate of the Lutheran School of Theology at Chicago and has been a parish pastor. Bob has served as a trainer in conflict transformation and a consultant to


pastors and churches. He has participated in the Postgraduate Program in Bowen Family Systems Theory and Its Applications at the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family in Washington, D.C. Most recently, he has developed Here I Stand: Leading Change Through Self-Differentiation, an approach to pastoral ministry grounded in Bowen family systems theory. Primary Reading Participants in the Clergy Clinic in Family Emotional Process are required to read Extraordinary Relationships: A New Way of Thinking About Human Interactions by Dr. Roberta Gilbert (John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 1992) and One Family’ Story: A Primer on Bowen Theory by Michael E. Kerr (Georgetown Family Center, 2003). Extraordinary Relationships is an excellent and readable summary of the basics of Bowen family systems theory. One Family’ Story gives an overview of the eight basic concepts of Bowen family systems theory. These books are available for purchase from LMPC. Concepts To Be Studied Triangles: The basic molecule of any relationship system, it describes the way any three people relate to each other and involve others in the emotional issues between them. Differentiation of Self: A way of describing people’ differing adaptiveness to anxiety and ability to balance the forces for individuality and togetherness. Change begins in a family (or organization) when a leader clarifies one’ thinking, keeps acting on that basis, and stays calmly connected to the family when they react. Nuclear Family Emotional System and Family Projection Process: The relationship patterns used to play out fusion or anxiety among parents and children, including the way in which parents project their problems to the children. Multigenerational Transmission Process: The emotional process patterns passed down through multiple generations in a family. Sibling Position: People take on a functioning position in their family that contributes toward personality development, with birth order being a key variable impacting attitudes and behaviors. Societal Regression: Society and its institutions are in a period of increasing chronic anxiety and respond with emotionally determined decisions to allay the anxiety of the moment. Emotional Cutoff: The way people handle the undifferentiation and emotional intensity that exist between the generations and their impact on family symptoms. The Clergy Clinic will help participants understand how each concept has implications for one’ family system, as well as one’ functioning as a leader within a congregational system. For Further Information Write: Lombard Mennonite Peace Center 101 West 22nd Street, Suite 206 Lombard, IL 60148 Call: (630) 627-0507 Fax: (630) 627-0519 E-mail: Admin@LMPeaceCenter.org Web Site: www.LMPeaceCenter.org


Clip and mail to: Lombard Mennonite Peace Center, 101 West 22nd Street, Suite 206, Lombard, IL 60148. Name (s) ______________________________________________________ Home Phone ____________________ Address _________________________________________City__________________ State ______ Zip _________ Congregation/Organization ________________________________ Work Phone ____________________________ Personal Email ____________________________________ Other Email __________________________________ ____ Register me for the 2009-2010 Clergy Clinic in Family Emotional Process. _____ Group A _____ Group B ____ Send me _________ more copies of this brochure for sharing with clergy colleagues. ____ Let me know of workshops on family systems theory and congregational systems that can be held in my church. ____ Keep me informed about LMPC’: ____ Future Clergy Clinics. ____ Here I Stand: Leading Change Through Self-Differentiation ____ Mediation Skills Training Institute for Church Leaders. Please check if registering: _ I have read and agree to the cancellation policy explained under “Tuition” in this brochure.


Issue: 264

August 17, 2009

DEVELOPING THE CAPACITY TO ATTACH ANEW by Kenneth J. McFayden No one likes to grieve. But amid loss, change that generates loss, and broken or breaking attachments, we feel the powerful grip of grief. And it hurts. At such times, leaders are challenged to help congregations grieve, so that they can begin to accept the reality of the loss and to develop the capacity to attach anew. Clearly, this is not the expression of leadership that most congregations expect, want, or will readily accept. Instead, they yearn for leadership that will minimize their losses and enable them to avoid the pain of grief. Why is it important to name and grieve losses? Is it not easier simply to acknowledge our losses and to move on? Some congregational members and leaders express such sentiments in a time of loss, believing that attending to grief is a misdirection of energy, a misplacement of priorities, and a poor use of time. Losses that are not appropriately named and grieved remain buried, however, as do the intense feelings associated with them. And although we may look as if we are "moving forward," we remain stuck in the emotional processes of loss, unable to reinvest ourselves in the life and ministry of the congregation. Continue Reading "Developing the Capacity to Attach Anew"

NEW BOOK! Strategic Facing by

Our

Leadership Losses, Kenneth

for Finding J.

a Our

Change: Future McFayden

Many congregations are experiencing significant change both within and beyond their walls, and both members and leaders feel a sense of loss in the midst of these changes. In the midst of change, loss, and grief, congregations yearn for leadership, typically with differing expectations of what constitutes effective leadership in response to their needs, hopes, and priorities. At the same time, congregations resist leadership. After all, leadership assumes those who follow will be open to more change. Strategic Leadership for a Change provides congregational leaders with new insights and tools for understanding the relationships among change, attachment, loss, and grief. It also helps leaders facilitate the process of grieving, comprehend the centrality of vision, and demonstrate theological reflection in the midst of change, loss, grief, and attaching anew. All this occurs as the congregation aligns its vision with God's and understands processes of change as processes of fulfillment.


Drawing on attachment theory, leadership studies, and biblical and theological resources, McFayden's work is invaluable for leaders whose congregations face change, experience loss, wonder about their future, and yearn for leadership. "If you've ever wondered why your great new plans meet resistance and fail, you should read this book. Grounded in the author's real experience with congregations and their leaders, it offers significant insight into the implementation of change and how, as leaders, we can help congregational members and church systems accept and even embrace change." -Diana J. Barber, Associate Synod Executive for Leadership Development, Synod of Lakes and Prairies, Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.)

Watch this free webcast as Alban author Daniel P. Smith frames the issues around congregational renewal. Then sign up for the webinar!

Avoiding the Pitfalls that Sabotage Congregational Renewal Thursday, August 27, 2009 1:00 pm EDT

FEATURED RESOURCES

Leading Change in the Congregation: Spiritual and Organizational Tools for Leaders by Gilbert R. Rendle Holy Clarity: The Practice of Planning and Evaluation by Sarah B. Drummond

Heart, Mind, and Strength: Theory and Practice for Congregational Leadership by Jeffrey D. Jones Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times: Being Calm and Courageous No Matter What


by Peter L. Steinke

The Alban Institute | AlbanRoundtable Blog | Congregational Resource Guide

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