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SUMMER 2011

$7.95 (incl GST)

Celebrate CREATE LOOKING BACK ON 2010 AND

and

DESIGNING YOUR 2011

Surviving

the journey

BRANDON BAY’S INSPIRATIONAL HEALING

WHAT IS

?

KINESIOLOGY

YOUR KEY TO RESOLVING BODY ISSUES

In the

cards

GETTING STARTED WITH TAROT

Stephanie BRANTZ “If you want something you can enougithhappen” bad make

● Love by the stars ● Detox yourself after Xmas ● Communicating with finesse ● Have a happy New Career www.empoweronline.com.au


Join us for a powerful hands-on workshop covering:

• • • • • • •

What is Courage? How do you build it? Getting into the presentation state. Making a great standing start. Connecting with your clients / audience. Representational systems – using them for great effect. Opening the presentation. Psychological exibility and how to get it.

Friday 18 March, 2011 from 8.30am to 5.30pm

(morning, lunch and afternoon tea provided).

You should attend if: • You are required to speak to small or large groups as part of your work. • You have a teaching, training or sales role. • You are required to give a speech or speeches socially, for example at family or social functions. • You are required to act as a Master of Ceremony. • You wish to increase your Conndence and Courage.

About the Presenter: Dr Annie Wyatt is an expert in public speaking and has helped many people to become more conndent and successful as presenters. She holds a Master of Public Health and a Doctorate in Occupational Health, Safety and Adult Education. Dr Annie is also a Certiied Neuro-Linguistic Programming Trainer.


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10 In a man’s world

From fashion model to mother of three and Sports reporter, Stephanie Brantz is a selfconfessed sports-nut. She talks to emPOWER about life, in and out of the studio.

24 Surviving the journey

In 1992 Brandon Bays was diagnosed with a basketball-sized tumour. Only six and a half weeks later, without drugs or surgery, she was proclaimed healed. The groundbreaking work from her healing journey is now being used in 38 countries with her book, The Journey, being translated in 22 languages.

14 Time to celebrate Reflect on 2010 and celebrate both your successes and learnings.

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16 What’s on your ‘Bucket List’ for 2011? Decide what you want to achieve for 2011 in every area of life.

18 Live life N.O.W. Put yourself on a bootcamp to create your list for life. 20 Living by lunar With Stacey Demarco, learn the top seven ways to experience your most magical year ever.

22 Working with tarot Find out how tarot works and how to get started. 26 Love by the stars Understand each star sign to rekindle the fire or gain entry into the heart.

28 Survive any financial crisis Learn the four strategies to ensure your

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relationship survives any financial crisis.

29 Become a sexual goddess Break free from your early sexual programming.

30 Exploring kinesiology Learn how kinesiology can uncover the stress patterns and resolve issues in your body.

32 Detox yourself Find out how to detox the different areas of your body and start a daily detox.

34 A slim secret Be inspired by Sharon Thurin, who set about filling a gap in the health market.

36 Communicating with finesse Increase your credibility and influential power in the workplace.

38 Happy New Career Apply your usual New Year’s resolutions to your career in 2011.

40 Seven deadly sins of super Find out why sinning with your super can lead to a less than heavenly retirement.

41 What do they have? Learn why some investors achieve extraordinary success, while others struggle to make the grade.

5 From the desk… 6 Your Say 8 Meet the Experts

30 38

9 Acts of Kindness 20 Great Reads 42 Change Your Life in 15 Minutes

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From the desk... 2010 has been an amazing year for emPOWER. We’ve faced challenges, we’ve laughed, we’ve appreciated some wonderful feedback from you, our readers and most of all, we’ve grown, not only as a business but also personally and as a team. Everything has not always been perfect, but we’ve learned from our mistakes and we’ve celebrated our successes. And now, as we move into the New Year, we‘re planning for a powerful and successful year ahead. I invite you to do the same in our Special feature this issue. Firstly, Claire Hall takes you through a process of Personal change and celebration, helping you to look back on your successes and learnings from 2010 and celebrate how you have changed and grown (p14). Then, we invite you to look forward with positivity and optimism and create your ‘Bucket List’ for 2011 (p16). Enjoy the exercises, I don’t think you can help but to be motivated and excited about what’s ahead. Before jumping into the special feature in this issue, we are so pleased to introduce you to Stephanie Brantz. Self-confessed ‘sports nut’ Stephanie discusses her journey from fashion model to mother-of-three and ABC News sports reporter. Be inspired by Stephanie on page 10. If that’s not inspiration enough, an inspirational profile that I’ve always wanted to share is that of Brandon Bays, who was diagnosed with a tumour the size of a basketball and without medical intervention underwent an amazing healing journey that she now teaches worldwide. Grace has looked upon us and shared her with us. Read Brandon’s incredible story of ‘Surviving the journey’ on page 24. If you want to know the ins and outs of each star sign you’ll love the article ‘Love by the stars’ on page 26. Mark Husson, provides a light and fun read showing you how to wiggle into the life of each star sign, whether it’s to gain entry into someone’s heart or rekindle the fire in your relationship. Something different onthe wellbeing front, we’ve put the ‘Spotlight on’ Kineseology in this issue. Ondrej Bursick shares his knowledge of this widely used, but little understood practice designed to uncover and resolve various issues in the body. Also in wellbeing, after what will most likely be a big (and unhealthy) festive season, check out ‘Detox yourself’ on page 32. Emma Sutherland firstly explains the process and goals of detoxification and provides a suggested daily detox regime. Our business profile in this issue, ‘A Slim Secret’, features Sharon Thurin, founder of Slim Secrets (p34). Find out how and why Sharon started her business journey and what she’s doing that’s different. On the career front, check out ‘Communicating with Finnesse’ (p36) where Savleen Bajaj helps you to increase your credibility and influential power in the workplace. My personal thanks to you for all of your support and encouragement over this past year. In particular, a big thank you to our expert contributors and columnists who so generously share their time and knowledge to make emPOWER great! We look forward to bringing you more great articles and resources to help you improve your life in 2011. It is our greatest wish that you and your loved ones share an amazing Christmas and a happy beginning to the New Year.

Helen Rosing, Publisher

Contributors Savleen Bajaj, Dale Beaumont, Sally-Anne Blanshard, Ondrej Bursik, Theresa Chapman, Stacey Demarco, Claire Hall, Dr Janet Hall, Mark Husson, Dorothy Morrisson, Karina Stephens, Emma Sutherland, Karen Vella Publisher & Editor Helen Rosing helen@empoweronline.com.au

Production & Subscriptions admin@empoweronline.com.au P: (02) 9686 4398

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Advertising gidon@empoweronline.com.au P: 0402 822 722

Cover Photography Photography courtesy of ABC

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Published by Indigo Productions Pty Limited ABN: 90 135 381 118 PO Box 1397 Baulkham Hills, NSW, 1755 P: (02) 9686 4398 F: (02) 9686 4394 E: admin@empoweronline.com.au www.empoweronline.com.au

Advertisers and contributors to emPOWER Magazine acknowledge they are aware of the provisions of the Anti-Discrimination Act 1977 and the Trade Practices Act 1974 in relation to false and misleading advertising or statements under other unfair practices and the penalties for breach of provisions of those Acts. The publisher accepts no responsibility for such breaches. Opinions expressed by contributors are their own and not necessarily endorsed by emPOWER Magazine or the publishers. All material in emPOWER magazine is copyright and may not be produced in whole or in part without express permission of the publishers. ISSN 1835-8705


Thank you for all the wonderful feedback on the magazine and website. Keep your comments and ideas coming. Email us at admin@empoweronline.com.au

favourite letter I’m a big “should-er” and I wanted to thank you for the article ‘Stop Shoulding’ in the last issue of emPOWER. I’ve made some great changes in my life since reading this article and am getting some much better results, particularly around my health. Firstly, I was motivated by the story of Mike [who, before a car accident that put him in a wheelchair was a promising triathlete]. I often think of Mike when I feel a ‘should’ go for a walk but really don’t want to. I’m also sure that ‘Mike’ would love the opportunity to do the same. Secondly, I’ve taken on board the suggestion to make unpleasant activities, pleasant. I now put on music and dance in the kitchen when I am cooking and celebrate that I’ve chosen healthy food. And, when I go for a walk, I always ask a friend to join me – it makes the time go faster and I can also build the relationship. - Gemma, via email

My husband saw me reading the emPOWER magazine online and decided to surprise me one day with hardcopy editions of the back issues. I have been spending a lot of time reading them and I love it! Even the very first issue with Katie Ritchie is fantastic. I now have a magazine holder dedicated to my emPOWER magazines. - Cate, via email I would say that I’ve always been a big sceptic when it comes to spiritual matters and re-incarnation has always been right up there with the things I do not believe in. I have to say though that your article on ‘Who was I?’ (Spring 2010) looking at past lives kept my attention. It really doesn’t seem like hocus-pocus and more about interpreting the different messages we get in life. Although I’m still not exist that I was on the earth before, I’m now intrigued to learn a bit more and see if it has any meaning to me. - Melissa, via email

I just love Dr John Demartini and read/listen to anything I can find from him. Your article ‘Grateful ever after’ (Spring 2010) did not disappoint and I, yet again, gained a lot from his insight and wisdom. In my own life I can see that I have strived to be ‘happy-ever-after’ and that this quest has caused disheartenment. Happyever-after always feels so far away. To be grateful though is something that I can achieve now and every moment to which I am present. - Daina, via email

One of my favourite things about your magazine is that you feature powerful Australian women. I always feel empowered after reading the article on them. It’s nice to see them get the recognition they deserve. -Eloise, via email

It’s really nice to see an Australian magazine available to read online. It makes it very convenient for busy women on the go, like me. I’m more likely to read your magazine than bother forking out $10 for one at the shops. - Penny, via email

Submit ‘YOUR SAY’ through the website at www.empoweronline.com.au or email admin@empoweronline.com.au


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Coaching Essentials is an inspiring start to a career as an internationally certified Meta-Coach. For more information about Coach Training click here.

Ph:1300 858 089 www.thecoachingroom.com.au emPOWER readers who book for the next Coaching Essentials workshop on 18-20 February, 2011 will get a 20% discount


meet the experts

to all our expert contributors Savleen Bajaj Savleen Bajaj is an international success coach, psychologist, speaker, author, facilitator and consultant. She has spent almost two decades using cutting-edge technologies to accelerate human growth and enabling individuals to unleash their true potential. With a deep insight into the principles for personal breakthroughs and holistic success, Savleen is passionate about supporting people to live their greatest life by transforming their visions and intentions into results.

Dale Beaumont Dale Beaumont is a young entrepreneur and the creator of the ‘Secrets Exposed’ series. Having now released over 15 best-selling business books (available in bookstores across Australia or from www.SecretsExposed.com.au). Dale has been featured in all forms of the media and has become a sought-after speaker.

Sally-Anne Blanshard Sally-Anne Blanshard is the Career Manager for www.myambition.com, a website dedicated to helping individuals accelerate their job search and career strategy. She has over 12 years experience in consulting, specifically in the areas of talent management and career development. Sally regularly blogs on the hurdles of searching for a new job and all aspects of career management. In addition, Sally-Anne coaches candidates through interactive tutorials, workshops and one to one sessions.

Ondrej Bursik Ondrej Bursik is the Principal of the Kinesiology department at the College of Complimentary Medicine Pty.LtD. He is the senior Lecture with over 8 years of clinic and teaching experience. He is also the director of the Optimal Learning Centre that specialises with helping children and adolescence with learning difficulties. Ondrej is also trained in Neurofeedback assessment and analysis procedures, Samonas Sound Therapy, Primitive Reflex Therapy (INPP) and Interactive Metronome.

Theresa Chapman Theresa Chapman is a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) and has obtained a Diploma of Financial Planning from Deakin University. She is a member of the Financial Planning Association of Australia, an Associate of the Financial Services Institute of Australia and a Commissioner for Declarations. Theresa has 16 years experience in the Financial Services Industry and regularly presents the talk-back financial planning program, “Finance Forum” on 4CRB 89.3FM each Thursday morning.

Stacey Demarco Stacey Demarco, the Modern Witch, is one of Australia’s most high profile and trusted metaphysicists and spiritual practitioners. Stacey is the author of several successful books, Witch in the Boardroom, Witch in the Bedroom, and The No Excuses Guide to Soul Mates. She has recently appeared on the hit TV program THE ONE as one of the expert panelists. Stacey is one of the foundation members of the Australian Psychics Association and a Board Member of the Pagan Awareness Network.

Claire Hall Claire Hall is the founder of Authentic Empowerment, a life coaching practice established in 2004. In addition to her corporate experience, Claire brings extensive coaching and counselling qualifications to her coaching sessions. She also holds a degree in Politics with International Relations and a Diploma in Communications, Advertising and Marketing. Last year Claire launched Sydney Life Clubs, a unique coaching solution for groups.

Dr Janet Hall Dr Janet Hall is a Clinical Psychologist, Sex-therapist, Hypnotist, Author and Speaker. She is the author of eight books on family and relationship issues including “Sex-Wise Teens” and “Sexlife Solutions”. Her 18 CDS in the Sensational Sex Series frankly and informatively discuss sexual issues. Jan featured regularly on the television program “Sex Life” as their female sex therapist/advisor. Dr Jan is consistently in demand from the media for her expert comments.

Mark Husson Mark S. Husson is a man with a lifelong interest in the inner workings of the mind. He has a degree in Psychology and a Master’s in Counseling. He is an expert in Astrology and through his astrological classes and workshops enabled psychotherapists, psychiatrists, psychologists, and lay persons to become aware of astrology’s ability to empower themselves and their clients. Mark also designed the Twelfth House Website (12house.com), which was recognised for its psychological approach to astrology, accessible to both lay-people and professionals.

Dorothy Morrison Introduced to the Tarot by her mother over 40 years ago, Dorothy Morrison is much sought after for both her readings and for her classes on the subject matter. She is the author of Everyday Tarot Magic, the creator of The Whimsical Tarot [illustrated by Mary Hanson-Roberts], and the author of The Whimsical Tarot: A Deck for Children and the Young at Heart.

Karina Stephens Karina Stephens has over 22 years experience in the health and wellbeing industry. She is co-founder of Neuro-Transformational Strategies, the new science of permanent behaviour change. She is a Life Enrichment Coach, author and Speaker in the areas of personal growth and spiritual development.

Emma Sutherland Emma Sutherland is a leading Sydney naturopath who has spent years working with patients in the therapeutic areas of infertility, women’s health, IVF support and Detox. She is a guest presenter at the exclusive Golden Door Health Retreat and features regularly in magazines, on the radio and her latest project is a TV show about women’s health.

Karen Vella Karen Vella is a Life Coach, NLP Practitioner and owner of coaching business, You’re The One. She has a vision to reconnect others back to their truest selves – and follow their highest paths – with the power of self-belief, self-esteem and self-love. Karen’s expertise can be found in the range of coaching programs and services, she offers from individual coaching to workshops, webinars, writing articles, and keynote speeches.

Summer 2011

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We can change the world, one act at a time – a little kindness is all it takes.

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t’s quite possible you have changed someone’s day without even knowing it. Perhaps you gave a welcoming smile when they were feeling left out, delivered a compliment, opened a door, offered up your seat on the bus or were generally helpful and pleasant when it was most needed. You can probably also think of moments when someone changed your day in a similar way. What happened in each of those moments is called an Act of Kindness – a small action that can make a big difference. Here’s how some of our readers are getting in on the act.

I was at the local library, looking through books to help with a project I was doing at work. In one of the books, there was a post-it note stuck to a random page. It said, “Remember, you are beautiful!” I have no idea who put it there, but it gave me a nice ego boost. I left it there for the next person to see. Suraya – via website night from a local I get a burrito for dinner every Friday busiest I have ever seen the Mexican joint. This one night was really struggling. I were ter it! The two girls behind the coun queue with a few the in ers work r recognised one of the othe noticed that the also She off. t nigh her friends, I guess it was counter to help. I girls were struggling and went behind the while she worked. I saw that her friends sat at a table to eat it was nice of her to don’t know how long she stayed for, but to. need help them when she really didn’t Magan – via email

I joined the gym that my girl friend goes to. I didn’t really have any good gym clothes – just a Bonds chesty and trackies – and I didn’t want to spend any more money. I was already spending enough in gym fees! My girl friend took me to Lorna Jane and asked what I liked. I pointed out a couple of things I thought were nice, knowing full well they were too expensive for me. She ended up buying them for me so I wouldn’t feel as compromised as she first did at the gym. She’s so sweet! Leila – by email

iStockphoto

jumpers”. So one year, I decided to start knitting a Knitting is a hobby of mine and my kids are too old to wear “mum’s daggy knitted time winter came around, I had a whole box full. the By . whole lot of winter things. I made scarves, beanies, gloves, socks and blankets homeless people got a nice warm meal and a The there. be to d I found out the next time the Soup Kitchen was open and organise couple of winter necessities. I do it every year now. Lesley – via website

We live in a quiet, tight knit neighbourhood. There was work being done on a house across the street and the workers were there long hours all days of the week. One day was particularly hot and I felt real sorry for the poor fellows. I was looking out the window when I saw my neighbour crossing the street to them. She was carrying a plate of sandwiches and a six-pack of beer. It was a real nice thing for her to do. I could tell they appreciated it. Kylie – via email

I catch the bus and I often see people running as the bus pulls away. Sometim es the bus driver sees them and stops; sometimes they miss the bus. I get too nervous to tell the bus driver to stop for them; I know it’s silly. One morning, the lady sitting in front of me noticed the person running. “Wait! Someone’s coming!” She yelled to the bus driver and he stopped and let the person on. They were so relieved to make it on. I wish I wasn’t so shy, it was really nice of her to do that. Juliette – via email

Submit your Act of Kindness & Win The reader to send in our favourite and most inspiring act of kindness for the next issue will win a gorgeous luggage set from Catherine Manuell Designs. The Large Wheely Carry-on is valued at $160 and comes in ‘Black white café’ style. To view the whole range of Catherine Manuell Designs products visit www.catherinemanuelldesign.com. Submit your Act of Kindness at empoweronline.com.au or email admin@empoweronline.com.au.

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www.empoweonline.com.au


cover story

In a man’s

world

From fashion model to mother of three and Sports reporter, Stephanie Brantz is a self-confessed sports-nut. She talks to emPOWER about life, in and out of the studio.

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ou may not have heard the name before, but Stephanie Brantz has been around the block and is now a sports presenter and reporter for ABC News. Born in Queensland to Dutch parents Stephanie started her career as a model in 1985. Fifteen years later in 2000, she commenced her TV career and has never looked back. She’s worked with SBS, Channel nine, ESPN, Fox Sports and in October this year accepted a role hosting the Summer of Sport for the ABC. Stephanie’s career has not been without controversy and she’s had to deal with incorrect media reporting. A testament to her, she says it’s all just experience. Off-air, Stephanie is married to Foxtel football commentator, Simon Hill and has three children, Patrick (15), Lewis (10) and Lindsay (8). Family is obviously the most important thing to her and somehow she manages to balance her work with her family and even manages to squeeze in some time for herself. We’re inspired. We hope you are too.

Q. Tell us a bit about yourself.

Where did you grow up and how would you describe your childhood? A. I grew up in surburban Brisbane. I had quite an idyllic childhood really, we lived in the same house the whole time and I went to the same school from year one to year 12. I would say my life was very stable. I still have a group of

Summer 2011

about 15-20 friends from school that I am still close to which is fantastic.

Q. What values do you feel you

inherited from your upbringing and how have these shaped who you are today? A. My parents moved from Holland to Australia after they were married and experienced how difficult it is to emigrate and settle in a completely different country. I really admire what they did and how well they managed to carve out a life on the other side of the world. I guess they really taught me that if you want something bad enough and are willing to work for it, you can make it happen.

Q. Where did your love of sport come from?

A. I guess most of it was

genetic. My parents were quite sporty and still are. They both played for Queensland Volleyball teams and my Dad played basketball and various other sports during school and University. Growing up, it was my brother and I that lived for sport. Cricket in Summer, Football in Winter and everything else in between.

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cover story

Q. We understand that you worked

as a model for 15 years. What was this experience like? What did you learn during this time? A. The biggest lesson I learned during that time was that wherever you go, always take a book. Patience is key in photo shoots. Modeling for me was a very well paid part-time job that also allowed me to travel and work easily overseas. It was important for me in terms of dealing with situations in other countries where you didn’t know anybody. Modeling was also great for picking up foreign languages.

Q. How did you make your break into TV and sports reporting?

A. I had done various modeling jobs in

television, but no presenting. One day I was playing football in the backyard with two of my now three kids, and one of my neighbours asked if I would be interested in working in sports presenting. I said, “of course, why not!” From there I did a screen test for SBS; I was absolutely awful. Very kindly, they offered to train me and that’s what I spent the next couple of years doing. The rest, as they say, is history.

Q. Please tell us about your TV

career and how it has developed.

A. I stayed at SBS from about 2000 until

2006 and that culminated in a role presenting Toyota World Sport. At that time I was also one of the team presenting the FIFA World Cup from Germany, which was of course a watershed moment for Australian Football. Post-World Cup, Toyota World Sport was brought to a close and I was offered a role at Channel nine, which I accepted. I was at Channel nine for three and a half years covering, cricket, basketball, general sport and also the Ironman Series, before going freelance

and doing work for ESPN and Fox Sports. In October this year, I signed on with ABC to front the Summer of Sport, and have been really enjoying the time there so far. It’s nice to have a change and be out from behind a news desk. Also, covering women’s sport is not something I have had much opportunity to do before.

Q. What have been the highs of your TV career?

A. I suppose working on big events is

always a highlight. I was lucky enough to be involved in the FIFA World Cup and the Ashes. However, working on big events like these has made it clear to me that working on an event and attending it as a fan, are two very different prospects. On one side you get access to the games, but if you are working, you don’t watch the event in the same way.

Q. What has been the biggest

challenge you’ve had to overcome in your career and how did you overcome it? A. My biggest challenge has really been juggling three children with work and giving all aspects the attention they deserve. My children are more important than my job, but my job feeds them and educates them and so can’t be ignored. I guess it’s the same struggle every working parent has. You don’t overcome it, you bump along, they get older, your role changes and some days are better than others.

Q. You’ve not been without your

fair share of controversy. In particular, when you were involved in reporting the Ashes cricket series in 2006 you were apparently dropped by Channel nine because the male cricketers were reluctant to talk to you. It

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was reported that you claimed Channel Nine needed a culture change and were not quite sure about what to do with a woman in sport. What happened here? A. Sadly this was reported incorrectly. I have found challenges in my work, but they were not related to gender or role specifically. I don’t think anyone works in media without coming across people whose way of dealing is less than straight. The key is to learn from that and next time, see them coming. As I said earlier, if you want something bad enough, work hard and persevere; eventually you’ll get there or you’ll realise that what you are chasing, just isn’t worth it.

Q. You’ve also operated your own

Naturopathy Clinic and been a lecturer on Nutrition for the Fitness Institute of Australia. How did you fit everything into your day? A. I operated my Natural Therapy clinic for about eight years, until I started work on the World cup in 2006. It became very very difficult to juggle everything that I was doing so something had to give. I ended up selling the clinic, because in any Holistic Therapy you need to connect with clients and give them your full undivided attention. I realised when that was no longer possible. As a professional I had to allow someone else to work with them.

Q. What else would you like to achieve in your career?

A. Work/life balance. I’m actually really

enjoying where I am at right now. I no longer have to take jobs to ‘climb the ladder’ and I think because I am happier as a person, more interesting work is coming my way. Every new job is a whole new adventure.

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cover story

In a man’s Q. How do you manage to balance

your career and your family life with a husband and three children? A. It’s really hard, and anyone who says otherwise is lying! My husband works six to seven days a week while inseason, which doesn’t help, so we have to almost schedule time out together. I find being organised means the world is a better place in our household. When something upsets that organisation, such as ‘night before’ assignments, my world temporarily falls apart. Any parent of

school age kids would feel my pain on that one. Lists are also a big favourite of mine; I should’ve been a Virgo!

Q. How do you ensure that you get

some time for yourself if this is possible? A. I create it out of nothing. If it has to be at 11.00pm at night then so be it. I love to read, so escaping into a book for an hour or so at the end of the day is very cathartic. Going for a run is always great too. It makes me feel good and no one gives me grief for taking a half hour out to do it!

Q. What are some things you have your learned from your children? A. Boundless love. I’ve learned what it’s like to truly be proud of someone else. I’ve also learned endless patience… or is that impatience… and the value of a good night’s sleep.

Q. You’ve been

married for sometime to Foxtel reporter Simon Hill. What have you learned in your relationship?

A. That compromise is the most

important thing in any relationship. Also the importance of occasionally just having fun!

Q. What do you think is the secret to success?

A. Being happy with what you have.

Happy and confident people attract good things and good people to them. I think the key is to surround yourself with motivated people who are supportive and who will watch your back.

Q. What is the best piece of advice

you have that might help other women realise they can reach their full potential? A. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It took me a long time to learn that lesson and I could have gotten places a whole lot quicker if I had asked for help sooner.

Q. Who has been the biggest influence in your life? A. My children and my husband. Q. What’s your ultimate indulgence/can’t live without? A. Sleep. Q. Who is (was) your biggest inspiration? A. My parents and my paternal grandmother. Q. Who would you most like to meet? A. Michael Jordan…what can I say, he’s my childhood idol and all that! Q. Biggest turning point in your life? A. Back surgery – realising that I may not walk again. Q. What motivates you? A. Building a better future for my children (and my husband and I). Q. What is a little-known fact about you? A. My favourite sweet is Dutch salted licorice. Q. Do you tend to work towards goals or do you prefer not to make plans? A. I definitely work towards goals.

Summer 2011

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special feature

Time to

celebrate

It’s always surprising how quick we are to dismiss the old year in exchange for the new. It feels like a huge opportunity gets lost. This year, do something different with Claire Hall who shows you how to acknowledge the year that was and celebrate in your own way.

A

dmittedly a new year is a great occasion to embrace the exciting energy of a fresh start, a clean slate and motivating sense of possibility. But before deciding how your 2011 is going to be different to 2010, have you considered the powerful impact of reflection? 2010 now offers the gift of hindsight, a worthy tool to elicit insights for personal growth. I heavily encourage you to take a moment to relish in the delights and reflections of 2010. While focusing on the wins and celebrations of 2010, you may also stumble upon unconquered goals, unresolved decisions or perceived failures. Disappointments, failed goals, lost opportunities and hardships are all part of life. If 2010 dealt you a rough hand, now is the time to stare at it head-on and make peace. Choose to leave unnecessary emotional baggage behind and liberate yourself from self-inflicted chains of guilt. Let’s start by simply listing an objective description of your disappointment and perceived failures from 2010: • What goals weren’t realised? • Did you hope to get married or start a family? • Did you lose a loved one? • What happened to your finances, relationships, children, holidays, family, and career or business? Be honest; there is no judgment here. By acknowledging things that didn’t work out as planned, you release any blocked energy and free yourself to accurately access what really went on. Consider: • Did you have a higher learning at play and have you learned it?

Summer 2011

• What would you have missed out on if you had achieved the goal? • Do you still want them in 2011 or have your priorities changed? • What can you learn about yourself and your values by witnessing your disappointment in this area? • What you are choosing to learn from 2010? • Who are you now as a result of 2010? Remember this list is not an accurate portrait of you now or your future potential. It is what happened in the past. It’s up to you to choose where it shall remain, in the past or determining your future. You cannot change what happened but you can choose your response to it. A successful 2011 starts with a long list of achievements, a commitment to celebrate, a dose of gratitude and an honest heart for learning. So why choose to list our achievements from 2010? Actually the question is why wouldn’t you? By recording our successes we can learn to give ourselves a pat on the back, which fuels our motivation and self-esteem. Remember how good it feels when someone notices how well you are doing? Recall how your self esteems boosts and your confidence rockets as recognition flows your way? Imagine if you gave yourself that boost to start 2011. Well you can. It always amazes me, how hard we, as human beings, find the exercise of self-acknowledgment. Yet, your list of disappointment and perceived failures is probably long. Isn’t it strange how we unconsciously focus on the negative? If you use a daily to do list and only completed four of the five tasks, it would be the fifth

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that claimed your focus rather than the four completed tasks. Now imagine all of 2010s task lists (that’s 365 days worth!). Focus on all the incomplete tasks, how does that feel? Disappointing? Ambivalent? This is hardly an inspired mindset to create your exciting and positive New Years Resolutions. And yet this is how we can unconsciously sabotage ourselves. Now imagine your attention is on those tasks that were complete, from the momentous to the micro. Allow yourself to bask in the evidence of where your hours of labour have been spent. Feel each achievement as a brick of confidence laying the foundations for a ‘can do’ attitude. Now think about creating your goals for 2011. Much more inspiring and fun right? You can consciously choose to focus your awareness on things that make you feel good about yourself. And when you feel good, good things are attracted to you as well as your ability to manifest them. By witnessing and owning our wins, successes and achievements we allow others to also seek out their own. A cycle of self-esteem, positivity, and possibility develops. Lets be clear, this isn’t about bragging – “look how great I am” – it’s about having an honest and balanced self perception which positively feeds our soul and fuels our journey. Our life is determined by our interpretation of events. Reality happens but it is the decisions we make from it that create our emotional wellbeing. So take a moment now to think back to 2010. Recall memories of different events and start to list what you accomplished. Consider each area of your life, from your relationships with ‘self’, your partner


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and family, to your social life, wellbeing, spirituality, career or business and finances. In each area consider: • Where was I at the beginning of the year and where am I now in this area? • What did I do well in this area? • What am I proud of? • How did I challenge myself? • What did I learn? As an example, a client of mine included the following on her list: 1. I ate organic food 90% of the time 2. On average, I cooked five healthy meals a week 3. I established a new organisation routine for family 4. I gained a promotion at work

5. I learned how to paint with watercolours 6. I conquered new mobile phone applications 7. I went on self development course 8. I challenged my father and found a resolution 9. I cut back to one coffee a day 10. I joined a salsa class for exercise A sense of gratitude swept over this client as she read her list out aloud. She was in awe of how much she had actually achieved, despite major obstacles. Her gratitude came from her ability to acknowledge her abilities, her will and also for her life, which presented her with these opportunities.

Use the space provided to list your achievements for 2010. Make you list “I” statement, after all this is about your achievements. Got your list? Now it’s time to celebrate. It sounds easy doesn’t it? Yet, in my experience people do not generally schedule in time to really celebrate. Be responsible for giving yourself the rewards you deserve. If your best friend was hesitating with her celebration wouldn’t you encourage her? Do the same for you. Give yourself the love and acknowledgement you deserve? It doesn’t have to be a grand affair, but it can be! No one is judging your celebration so be as wild and creative as possible. Consider these examples to get you going: • Purchase that object of pure indulgence • Spend time with a friend and each share your achievements with the other. Congratulate each other on your successes and learnings • Enrol in that course you’ve always wanted to do • Get your favourite magazine delivered to your door for a whole year • Spend a whole day just reading • Go horse riding • Sit somewhere you love and be truly thankful for yourself • Buy 12 tickets to the cinema and go once a month • Embark on a healing program • Do an act of kindness The most important part of celebration is to be present to the fact that you are celebrating while you are doing it.

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Claire Hall is a highly respected life coach and founder of Authentic Empowerment. Her practice encompasses coaching for individuals, groups and teams. For more information call (02) 9953 4036 or visit www.authenticempowerment.com.au

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What’s your bucket list for

2011

Now you’ve got your list of achievements for 2010, it’s time to look forward and decide how 2011 is going to turn out for you.

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ou may have seen the movie The Bucket List starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. A lot has been written about the concept since. It’s a very inspirational movie about two men who meet in hospital after each discovering they have a brain tumour. During their stay in hospital they make a list of all the things they want to achieve before they “kick the bucket”. They then set about ticking off everything that they wrote on their list. As we enter 2011, it’s the perfect time for you to create your own bucket list for every area of your life. On the next page, you’ve been provided with space to make your bucket list for each area of life. It’s time to dream. There’s really only one question to ask yourself – what would you like to achieve in this area by the end of 2011? Come up with at least six things for each area that you would like to achieve or experience in 2011. Once you have created your initial list for each area, apply the E.M.P.O.W.E.R. principle to do a sanity check on what you have written.

have already achieved it. For example, under finances, you may write “I have commenced a savings plan” rather than “I want to commence a savings plan”. Make each item specific and put a deadline on it. In the above example, you may add “I have commenced a savings plan to save $100 per week by 31 March 2011”. Check that each item is meaningful and inspiring for you. Ask yourself the questions: • Is this really important to me? • How will I feel when I have achieved it? • Why do I want this so bad? • How will my life be different when I have achieved this? Naturally, each item needs to be something that will positively change your life and it needs to be something that you want for you; not a goal to change someone else. Finally, ensure that each item on your bucket list is realistic to achieve by the end of 2011. In the above example, $100 per week may not be realistic for you but $20 may be. It’s a good idea to stretch yourself a little beyond what you currently feel is realistic (you may make it $30); if you’re not stretching the limits, you will not remain motivated. With bucket list in hand, it’s time to get some power behind it to get moving and most importantly, keep moving.

Read your bucket list every night.

Any type of goal that you write should be written in the present tense as if you

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This is possibly the most important step. It’s easy to be motivated initially; the challenge is to stay motivated over time. The last five minutes before you go to sleep at night is the perfect time to read each item and imagine life having achieved it.

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That way, as you drift off to sleep your subconscious mind is working overtime.

Consider your learnings If we don’t learn from our mistakes and perceived failures, we will not change our results. Consider the learnings that you wrote down for 2010 and how you will avoid making the same mistakes this year.

Recruit a friend Being accountable to someone else is a very powerful leverage. Share your bucket list with your partner or friend and ask them to keep you accountable in what you want to achieve this year.

Ask for help At some stage of achieving the things on your bucket list, you will need some help. Don’t be afraid to ask; most people love to feel they are making a difference.

Create a vision board A visual image of what you want to achieve is always a great way to continually reinforce the idea and remind you of how you will feel once you have achieved the things on your bucket list. Put some time aside for this and really enjoy the process. If you have children, get them involved in creating their own dream board. Initially, go through old magazines and cut out the words and pictures that symbolize those things you want to achieve. Then, on a


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piece of cardboard arrange your words and pictures. If you’re like me, you may need more than one piece of cardboard. Once your masterpiece is complete, stick it up somewhere you can see it everyday. When you look at it everyday, give yourself a feel of abundance and gratitude knowing that you are on your way to achieving your bucket list.

Consider solutions In any worthwhile goal, there are always obstacles to overcome. Be smart and plan for these in advance. For each item, consider what could go wrong and list at least two solutions for each obstacle. You might even be able to prevent the obstacle from arising. For example, you may feel that you are not disciplined enough to deposit your $100 into a savings account each week. To prevent this, set up a direct deposit plan that automatically transfers money into your savings account and ensure that your

savings account is one that you cannot withdraw from easily.

upon, you’ll also be held accountable to those plans.

What else do you need?

Take action

Which strengths and qualities do you feel you don’t have at the moment that you need in order to achieve your bucket list. Work out in advance what you are going to do to develop those strengths and qualities. For example you may have a goal to get a promotion at work this year but you do not feel confident to ask for it. Decide to join a networking group or attend a public speaking workshop to increase your confidence.

The best thing you can do to give yourself a good start for 2011,is to take action on your bucket list within the next 24-48 hours. Taking action quickly dramatically increases your chances of success by creating momentum. What you do in the next 12-48 hours will make all the difference.

Plan your celebration It’s a great idea to know in advance how you will celebrate your achievements in the coming year. Not only will this add to the excitement of what you are embarking

Partner

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Helen Rosing is the founder of emPOWER Magazine and www.emPOWERonline.com.au. She is a trained business and executive coach and corporate trainer with a specialty in personality. She is also a Chartered Accountant with over ten years experience in business.

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you | Feature

N.O.W.

Live life

Do you ever feel like you’ve lost that spark for life? If you answered ‘Yes’, you are not alone and Karen Vella invites you on a self-imposed boot camp to shed your inhibitions and create your list for life.

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f you had 6 months to live would you be living as you are now? Perhaps this is a question you have asked yourself at sometime. If you are like most people, you have probably found yourself questioning whether you are truly getting the most out of your life or are just settling for whatever comes along. It takes a lot of honesty, to reflect that you may be settling, or even staying in a cocoon. In the safety and comfort you keep repeating the same behaviour, until it becomes habitual, inviting the mundane and routine to become the norm. The outcome is bound to have you feeling jaded and losing the life spark that is so vital for an exciting life. And you don’t know how to get your zing back. Is this sounding all too familiar? Here is your mission. Mission Assignment: To discover how you can live life with a “no opportunity wasted”(N.O.W.) mindset; to find a way to re-energize your life, follow your deepest passions and most importantly, to pay it forward to others. To complete this mission you first, need to “ditch the excuses”. Excuses are the one thing that will stop you from getting started on the N.O.W. lifestyle. To ditch the excuses, take out a piece of paper, and write down the excuses you’ve been telling yourself over the years about why you can’t follow your dreams and have what you desire. Here are some of the most common ones: • I don’t have the money; • I don’t have the time; • You don’t understand my job is my life; • My family must always come first; • In my spare time, I just need to relax; • I’m too old for this; • I’m too out of shape; • I just don’t think I can do it; Now that you have your list, destroy it. As you stomp on it, tear it up, throw it in the bin, burn it or shred it, make the decision that you are going to start on your N.O.W. lifestyle right N.O.W.


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Congratulations! You are on your way to creating your own unique list for life. Now, in a notebook, put the following eight themes as headings on a separate page. Follow the instructions for each theme, spending about 15-30 minutes on each. Ponder the questions, and allow your intuition to guide you. Be really honest within yourself, the answers may surprise you!

1. Face Your Fear Mission: Discover and take action on your greatest Fear! Benefit: By taking action on your greatest fear – you will gain power over your fear and can continue on the NOW lifestyle in spite of it. Questions: If you were to live your last breath tomorrow at 3pm, what would be the thing you regretted not doing? What is the one fear that has emerged a lot in your life? What is your earliest memory of having this fear? What kind of physical reactions do you have to this fear? What are some things this fear keeps you from doing? How might your life change if you were able to overcome this fear? Action: Do what you are afraid of. For example, if you are scared of public speaking, enrol in a debating class, if you are afraid of sharks, start with an aquarium visit and build up from there.

2. Get Lost Mission: Throw away the Blackberry and get marooned. Benefit: By immersing yourself and going with the flow in a totally new environment you are opening yourself up again to the mystery of life again – to that genetic need within you to explore, adapt, cope and survive. Questions: Where can you go to leave the shelter of your current lifestyle and leave the blackberry at home? Is there a place you can go for a quest, or is there a retreat you can attend for a few days? Where can you go to be open to your intuition rather than knowing with certainty what comes next? Action: Leave the shelter of your current lifestyle and do something different.

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3. Test your limits Mission: Push yourself to a limit you thought you’d never attain. Benefit: By training and sweating some blood, sweat and tears and doing something that is hard and meaningful you will boost your self-esteem.

Questions: Where is a place you dream of visiting that you can combine a task you feel driven to do? Where can you test your tolerance? Where can you take fun to the extreme? Where can you do a boot camp/ race/marathon/walkathon/survival course? Action: Find something difficult that you don’t really feel confident enough to achieve and do it anyway.

4. Take a leap of faith Mission: Experience new opportunities. Benefit: By taking a leap of faith past uncertainty, you learn to believe in yourself (the leap is more about the mind rather than the legs). Questions: What is something ambitious that you have been teetering at the edges of doing? What passions are choosing you? Action: Take a chance and follow your passion. For example, make a film, open that cafe, paint that masterpiece, change your career, start a new business, move to a new place, go paragliding, take a dive, ride the roller coaster.

5. Rediscover your childhood Mission: Reconnect with a more youthful attitude and spirit. Benefit: By being childlike again and tapping into your “I can do anything” powers, you’ll develop a youthful attitude and enrich your life. Questions: How can you rediscover your childhood possibilities? How can you reconnect with a more youthful attitude and spirit? Action: Do what you did as a child. For example, stay up all night, get back on the bike, go treasure hunting, take lessons, get scared, go rolling skating, think young, do what you love, be curious and try new things, take off your shoes.

6. Shed your inhibitions/ express yourself Mission: Break down your own selfimposed stereotypes and be free. Benefit: By letting down your guard, you will open yourself up to new experiences that can continue in your life. Questions: What rules do you have that are holding you back? How can you break

down those rules you have imposed on yourself? What experiences can you open yourself up to? Action: Go against your limiting beliefs and express yourself in ways you never have before. For example, get naked, trust, love, perform live, stay up all night.

7. Break new ground Mission: Satisfy the craving of the primal urge to use your hands/wits to produce something didn’t exist before. Benefit: By breaking new ground and doing something that would serve a human need beyond your own, you’re on your way toward an experience that is not only satisfying but could be powerfully meaningful and important. Questions: What can you make that would be useful to others? What can you do to build a dream for yourself whilst enriching the life of someone else? What can you do to build/invent/initiate something that also serves a human need beyond your own? Action: Create something new. For example, build a tree house or the ultimate sand castle, plan an urban garden, help renovate a school or community centre, volunteer on your time off.

8. Aim for the heart Mission: Pay it forward. Benefit: By doing acts of kindness for others, or even sharing the N.O.W. philosophy and encouraging others to write their own List for Life you will make a difference in both their lives your own. Questions: What can you do to enrich someone else’s life? Who do you know that you can help? What can you do to help people you don’t know (strangers in a queue/neighbours you haven’t met)? Action: Pay it forward. For example, cut someone’s grass, pay for the meal at another person’s table, wash someone’s car, pay the toll for the car behind you, visit a nursing home and take out a complete stranger for lunch, share a hug, share a book, stage a “this is your life“ reunion for friend, donate yourself, offer to join someone as they face a fear, help something stay alive.

Karen Vella is a Life Coach, NLP Practitioner and owner of coaching business, You’re The One. She has a vision to reconnect others back to their truest selves – and follow their highest paths – with the power of self-belief, self-esteem and self-love. She offers a range of coaching programs and services from individual coaching to workshops, webinars, writing articles, and key note speeches. Karen@youretheone.com.au or www.youretheone.com.au.

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Enjoy some time out for yourself with these new inspiring and motivational books. Learn to Find Inner Peace By Mike George, Simon & Schuster, $19.99

It is easy to become vulnerable to stress and frustration in our daily lives. This book shows that by paying attention to our spirit we can attain greater clarity and depth of thinking, greater self-understanding,selfesteem and self-confidence, and greater peace of mind. At the same time, we can begin to enjoy life more. With the help of insights, meditative exercises and visualisations adapted from various traditions around the world, the author presents a wealth of ways for us to shake off the burden of the ego, clear the anxieties that cloud our perceptions, and break free to a higher plane of personal fulfilment.

2011 Lunar Diary By Stacey Demarco, Rockpool Publishing, $24.99

The 2011 Lunar Diary, written by Australia’s most prolific and respected witch, Stacey Demarco, is a beautifully produced Lunar diary offering daily explanations of the moon and the impact it has on us, with practical suggestions to get the most out of the energies of the season. Educating the reader on everything from planting a garden, increasing your wealth, improving your relationship to conceiving a child, this diary includes: seasonal spell casting and timings, original spells for specific moon phases; Moon Resources and important Southern Hemisphere dates, and Moon Phase Information for 2011 including a summary page with all full and new moons for easy reference.

Love Scopes By Mark Husson, Hay House, $24.95

In this book, Mark takes the astrological signs two by two and shines the light of understanding on their relationship with each other. He gives each a Love Scope score to predict the potential success right from the beginning. You can use that score to learn how things can go better, how much effort you’ll need to invest, and how to take a good relationship and make it into a great one. Love Scopes addresses specific characteristics of each sign alone and in partnership, referencing powerful mythological archetypes to illustrate the principles. Let Love Scopes help you fix relationships you have . . . and help you prepare to plunge into those you want!

Summer 2011

Release Your Worries By Dr Cate Howell & Dr Michele Murphy, Exisle Publishing, $29.95

Do you wish to be happier, more calm, less prone to depression and all-around a healthier person? Just buy this book. It is impossible that you won’t find it helpful! With Release Your Worries, all the hard work and research has been done for you – the authors present their top advice, tactics and strategies for dealing with stress and anxiety and regaining control over your emotions. Learn to feel confident, in control and calm – and best of all, learn what works for YOU! This quick, practical, easy to read handbook is a powerful tool for anyone whose quality of life has diminished as a result of anxiety or stress.

Rock, Paper, Scissors By Len Fisher, Hay House, $24.95

Game Theory is the study of co-operation and the underlying strategies that shape human behaviour. In Rock, Paper, Scissors, Len Fisher unearths the wide-ranging applications for this science, and the ways we can use its discoveries to find effective means to co-operate in daily life. Whether we want to understand where a shared supply of teaspoons disappears to, or why countries take themselves to the brink of nuclear war, Game Theory reveals the decision-making process. Dealing with collaboration, cooperation, completion and confrontation, Rock, Paper, Scissors is essential reading for anyone interest in what it takes to get people to work together. 20


Spirituality | you

Lunar

Living by

You certainly don’t need to call yourself a witch to take advantage of Stacey Demarco’s top seven ways to experience your most magical year ever.

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Take the time to know what you really want People often come to me for a spell casting not actually knowing what they would like to experience. Rather, most people know what they don’t want because it is causing them pain. Exploring what we REALLY want is so worthwhile. This is not what is expected of us, what our parents want, what our friends have, but what we, in our deepest heart of hearts, desires for ourselves. Take some time to write down what you want. A good tip is to write down what you don’t want and reverse it! Do this well in advance of New Years Eve so you go armed into that evening with wellconsidered intentions.

on your health and vitality. Summer is an extroverted time, great for the attraction of things such as prosperity and friendship of all kinds. Autumn is a time to be grateful for what we have and the consolidation of purpose, work and relationships.

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Set intentions, not resolutions Once we have decided what we really want in our lives, its time to set some practical intentions. An intention is something you intend to do. It’s a little more open and creative than a goal or resolution. The word resolution comes from ‘resolve’, which sounds resistant. It sounds like you have to steel yourself to get it all done. I think its far better to set a small series of activities or outcomes that you intend to fulfill. This not only lessens the pressure, it gives you room to get excited and out-do what you have set. The new moon is a great time to set intentions.

Ride the natural cycles of the moon Why not take a leaf out of the witch’s book and go with the natural cycles and energies rather than against them? For new beginnings and starts of projects set your intention on new moons especially those in Spring and Summer. For reducing obstacles and anxiety set these intentions on a waning moon cycle (moon getting smaller in the sky). Anything that you want to move towards, like attracting a new partner or better health, state that clearly on a waxing cycle (moon getting larger in the sky), and full moon is wonderful for asking for fulfillment of ‘big’ intentions, legal solutions and gratitude.

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Choose the right seasons for growth or introspection Achieving that intention need not be a struggle. Winter is the perfect time to let die what we no longer need in our life; it’s the perfect time to break a bad habit. Spring carries with it enormous energies of growth so it’s perfect for concentrating

equinoxes are extra powerful times to leave your obstacles and fears behind.

Know your obstacles We all have them, those niggling doubts, anxieties or fears that stop us from living our ideal life, but, they seem more ominous, nasty and damaging if we really don’t take a good look at them. It’s my experience that if we see a fear or obstacle it loses a lot of its power. The obstacle boogieman is never as scary as we think it is. If we examine it we can find a way to lessen, or even remove it. Autumn, winter, dark moons and the

Relax The easiest way to not get your intentions met is to let life get in the way. You know, all those small and not so important things that you allow to take up so much of your time. Take a cleansing view to your life and do the witch’s thing of “sweeping aside” what really is just small stuff! A great times to do this is during the dark moons (no moon in the sky) each month and full moons if the issue is chronic stress.

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Retreat The ancients knew the value of a good retreat. The ancient Roman and Greek leaders would go away for small but intense retreats where they would do little but reflect, eat well and see natural beauty. A true retreat should not be confused with a holiday, but rather a time where you give yourself the freedom to recover, renew and rethink. The perfect times for retreats are the gateway months in autumn and spring, as these are times of change and can often be very taxing on the mind, body and spirit. Ensure you experience a full moon on your retreat too…its the optimum time to wish for more connection in your life. For more tips on how to get the most out of 2011, check out Stacey Demarco’s 2011 Lunar Diary (Rockpool Publishing $24.99).

Stacey Demarco, the Modern Witch, is one of Australia’s most high profile and trusted metaphysicists and spiritual practitioners. Stacey is the author of several successful books including Witch in the Boardroom and she has recently appeared on the hit TV program THE ONE as an expert panelist. Her website www.themodernwitch.com is one of the most popular websites in its genre.

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you | Spirituality

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Working with

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arot not only bridges the gap between the mundane and spiritual worlds, but also delivers clear and accurate advice that we can use to our benefit. That’s good news. The best news, though, is that people can use it to empower their lives and increase their productivity. It doesn’t take special card-reading skills or psychic ability. A high IQ isn’t necessary, and neither is a red phone to the spirit world. All it takes is a firm desire, a little imagination, and the ability to follow a storyline. It’s as simple as that. Working with the Tarot comes easily because it speaks to us in images – a subliminal language that the brain not only understands, but uses to process every single thought we think. Here’s how it works. When we look at a picture, the mundane self (the conscious mind) immediately strikes up a conversation with the inner child (the subconscious mind). As they talk, the subconscious mind searches the memory banks for every image that relates to that picture. The pictures form in the mind’s eye and when that happens, both sectors of the spiritual self (the personal unconscious and the collective unconscious) come alive. The personal unconscious processes every bit of personal knowledge that we’ve ever accumulated in connection with that image. The collective unconscious gets busy too – it finds every related instinctual and intuitive reaction, draws its own conclusions, and matches those up with the data collected by the personal unconscious. Once all the information is together, it forms a nice, neat little package and delivers it to the conscious and subconscious minds. The brain’s work is done and voila, we suddenly understand what the image is saying.

Summer 2011

Even so, many people have difficulty using the Tarot. Why? Simply put, they just try too hard. They think that they’re supposed to get some sort of mysterious set of messages. That being the case, they send their brains into overload with the search and when it comes back empty-handed, they pack up the deck and put it aside, never to be used again. The truth of the matter is that the Tarot is nothing more than a set of pictures designed to tell a story. In fact, it’s much like reading a comic strip without the benefit of words. Once we determine what the characters are doing and how they’re interacting, the message comes through loud and clear. There’s nothing to ponder, nothing with which to tax our brains. We see it and understand it. End of story! That’s all well and good but other than the fact that the card images speak to all parts of the brain, what makes it a spiritual tool? Isn’t it just another fortune-telling device? Contrary to popular belief, the Tarot does not in any way forecast the future. Instead, it gives us choices and allows pause for thought. It taps into what we either cannot see or refuse to see on a mundane level, and puts it in front of us. That, in itself, is quite a feat. But it doesn’t stop there. It goes on to show us what is likely to happen if we continue upon the current path. We can then decide whether it’s in our best interest to change the route or move forward as planned. And that’s something a mere fortune-telling device can’t do.

Finding the right deck Long ago, my mother presented me with the Rider-Waite deck. I studied it. I worked with it. I even went as far as to memorize the instruction booklet. But no matter

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Regardless of its history, the Tarot is, without a doubt, one of the most useful spiritual tools at our disposal. Dorothy Morrison explains how the Tarot works and how you can get started.

what I did, I simply couldn’t make it work for me. To say that I was disgusted was an understatement. I’d always been able to accomplish anything I’d put my mind to, and for the life of me, I just couldn’t understand why I was having so much trouble. Suffice it to say, the deck finally wound up on a shelf, never to be used again, for even looking at it made me feel useless and stupid. As a result, I resolved never to pick up another Tarot deck again. Of course, there was a lot I didn’t understand about the Tarot back then. There was nothing wrong with the deck. There was nothing wrong with me. In fact, the only problem was that we just didn’t belong together. Not knowing that, cost me dearly and almost kept me from discovering the joys of the Tarot. This doesn’t have to happen to you. Finding the deck that’s right for you isn’t difficult, but shopping for it may take some patience. That’s because there are literally hundreds of decks to choose from. And, if it’s your first deck, you may not even be sure of what you’re looking for. It’s a trial and error process much like finding the perfect outfit. You see it and like it, but can’t get the whole picture until you try it on. Fortunately, most stores that carry decks now have sample copies on hand, allowing you to look through the cards and play with them a bit before you buy. Be prepared to spend a little time, at least twenty minutes, with any deck that appeals to you. Examine each card and see how it makes you feel. Make a few notes. Pay special attention to the colouring, the imagery, and, of course, any emotional response that particular cards evoke in you. Then take your notepad and go home. Leaving the store before you buy is imperative because it prevents the two


Spirituality | you

most common problems involved when searching for a deck: first, you’re not tempted to buy on impulse (impulsively purchased decks frequently wind up unused because they seldom really speak to you); and second, you’re more apt to search a little further for the perfect deck if you haven’t already purchased one. With that in mind, wait a day or two and pull out your notes. Then take a good hard look at what you wrote down. Does the deck still appeal to you as much as it did then? Is the imagery still as vibrant within your mind’s eye? If not, keep searching. The perfect deck will present itself.

Blessing the deck

After the Blessing The deck is blessed and it’s ready for use, right? Well, that depends solely upon whom you ask. Many people subscribe to the “put the deck under your pillow and sleep with it” rule. Some disagree, saying that a new deck should be carted around in the purse or briefcase. Still others insist that the deck must be housed with an assortment of crystals-rose, smoky, and clear quartz, to be exact-wrapped in silk, and carried somewhere on the owner’s body.

The only thing that most agree upon is the length of the methodology: a one-week period. You’re not alone if you think these ideas sound like strange preparation tactics. But the reasoning behind them is sound. Simply put, it’s that constantly having the deck close to you for the first week literally saturates the cards with your personal energy. And that being the case, it stands to reason that the deck will always read well for you.

Storing the Deck To be perfectly honest, I’ve never found that one particular storage method worked any better for me than another, or that any of them ever improved the performance of any deck I used. For that reason, I believe in keeping it simple. If you find a pouch, scarf, or box that appeals to you, so be it. But if you’re just as comfortable keeping your cards together with a rubber band, that’s okay, too. Just don’t get caught up in an inner struggle over something as trivial as deck storage. Simply do whatever feels right to you, and know that you can’t go wrong. A professional tarot reader and teacher, Dorothy Morrison is the creator of “The Whimsical Tarot,” and the author of both the book by the same name, and “Everyday Tarot Magic.” She lives near Washington, DC, and may be contacted by email at headwitch@earthlink.net, or through her website at www.dorothymorrison.com.

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Although using the Tarot isn’t difficult, not many people would turn down an extra boost of energy to get the best performance possible. And I’m sure you’re no exception. That’s where blessing the deck comes in. I’ve provided a sample blessing ritual for you. Don’t be afraid to rework it to suit yourself. There is no right or wrong way to bless your deck. Materials: • 1 purple candle • Incense of your choice • Tarot deck • Water • Salt Begin by lighting the candle and incense, and placing the deck in front of them. Close your eyes and inhale deeply through your nose. Exhale fully from your mouth. After four or five breaths, open your eyes and pass the deck through the incense smoke. Repeat the following:

“I give you now the breath of air. Inhale its twirling riches, fair.” Being careful not to burn yourself or the cards, quickly pass the deck through the candle flame. Repeat the following: “I give you now the warmth of fire. So you may answer my desire.” Lightly sprinkle the deck with a few drops of water, saying: “I give you water-life’s true force. Drink deeply as you chart your course.” Then sprinkle the deck with a few grains of salt, saying: “I give you earth that you may sow. The seeds of power, my Tarot” Finally, lift the deck skyward and say: “Power of the ancient Tarot. Bring your knowledge; let it flow. Into my soul, into my brain. From this deck, let knowledge rain.” Then spend fifteen minutes or so in visualisation mode. See yourself reading the cards with insight and accuracy, understanding every message completely. Leave the deck in front of the candle until the wick burns out.

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inspirational | Profile

Surviving

the journey

In 1992 Brandon Bays was diagnosed with a basketballsized tumour and was catapulted on a profound healing journey. Only six and a half weeks later, without drugs or surgery, she was proclaimed completely healed. The groundbreaking work from her healing journey is now being used in 38 countries with her book, The Journey, being translated in 22 languages.

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lmost all of my adult life had been spent in the areas of personal growth, health and spiritual awakening. I’d taken 100’s of courses and ended up being certified in many aspects of the personal growth and health fields. I had always been blessed with an incredible lifestyle, having cleared a whole host of issues through the myriad of courses I had done. In 1992, it seemed I was doing everything right. I had moved from NYC to Malibu, California. I was breathing fresh sea air, eating organic food, and working out every day. I had a job I felt very fulfilled in, travelling with Tony Robbins presenting the Living Health seminars to thousands of people. I was really living my talk, and more important than all those things I felt deeply fulfilled in my personal life. I had a beautiful marriage, wonderful kids, and I felt genuinely blessed. You could say I was at a peak in my life. Then, one morning at the age of 39, I was sitting for meditation and realised I finally had to face whatever it was that had made my tummy grow so large over the last few months. My mind began to fall into the

Summer 2011

background and out of nowhere came a gut knowing that I might be seriously ill, and that I needed to get real and get myself to an orthodox medical doctor and have this thing checked out. I couldn’t stay in denial any longer. I just didn’t want to believe this could be happening to me. After all I was doing everything right, wasn’t I? I’d spent a lifetime attending workshops and seminars, learning everything I could about healing the body and spirit. Yet, here I was faced with a tummy so large that I looked pregnant, though I knew I wasn’t. Embarrassed and ashamed, I couldn’t admit my fears to even my closest friends. Here I was, ‘an expert’, teaching others how to take charge of their health, yet I couldn’t even zip up my loosest-fitting trousers. The night before my appointment I plucked up the courage to tell one of my best girlfriends, Catherine, what was going on, and asked if she would accompany me to the doctor. The 45-minute examination was painstakingly thorough, and seemed to drag on endlessly. The doctor virtually said nothing as I waited to finally hear what I

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feared most. When she finished, she quietly turned to me and looked me straight in the eyes. In a kind but unemotional voice she said, “Brandon, you are equivalent to five months pregnant with a tumour the size of a basketball.” It seemed as if everything started reeling inwardly as I tried desperately to grasp what she had said. I felt as if someone had knocked the air out of me. I asked the doctor what exactly it all meant, and what my options were. It seemed the more she talked, the more dire it sounded. Surgery was ‘my only option’ – immediate surgery at that. My heart started to pound as the pressure began to build inside. Being in the natural health field I felt a strong need to at least give it my best shot, to see if I could heal naturally, without drugs or surgery. So I asked her for one month’s time, which she hesitantly agreed to. As I was leaving her office I stepped out into the LA sunshine and saw this beautiful Mimosa tree. I was absolutely arrested by its beauty – stopped in my tracks. In my awe, my thinking mind began to slow down and finally came to rest and out of nowhere


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Profile | inspirational

came a gut knowing that I had been given a ‘wake-up’ call and that, in fact this tumour was a gift. I knew that somehow I would be guided to heal this tumour. Somehow I realised that the same part of me that created this tumour would also be responsible for un-creating it. And so my healing journey began. Snatches of memories of the various spiritual and mind-body healing teachings I’d experienced through years of study flowed through my mind. I felt a welling of gratitude for all I’d learned, for all the teachers I’d learned from and for all the case histories I’d studied of people who had been diagnosed with illnesses more serious than mine, people who had, with great courage, been successful in healing themselves. I realised their experiences had been a real-life example for me, and their courage had kindled my own. I knew that it there was just one person who had been successful in healing at a physical-cellular level, then it meant that every human body was capable of cellular healing. I was catapulted on a radical healing journey. I knew that my body needed support physically if it was to start dumping a huge amount of degenerative and toxic cells. I already ate extremely healthful foods, but now decided to boost my vegetarian diet from 65-70 per cent fresh and raw fruits and vegetables to s ay B on nd Bra 100 per cent completely live food. I added food enzymes and increased my mineral intake significantly, and took herbs that I knew would help in the cleansing process. Additionally, I decided to keep my lymphatic system flowing with massage, and my colon cleansed with colonic irrigation, so that when the emotional letting-go was complete, my body would be in top condition to do the physical letting-go.

But, these were just physical supports that were easy to do. I knew my real work lay in discovering what was emotionally stored inside my tumour. My emotional healing journey began with a call from a friend who recommended a bodyworker, Surja, who helps people let go of emotional issues stored inside, while working on the body. At the time, I didn’t know how important my decision to see Surja would turn out to be. Before I started my first session with Surja, I made a silent prayer that I would have the courage to face whatever was stored inside that tumour. I then opened and surrendered inwardly. As she began massaging she suggested, “Why don’t you, in your mind’s eye, take some steps right down into your tumour and see what it looks like in there?” When I got into my uterus I didn’t like what I saw and as I was ‘walking about’, I came to an area that seemed particularly dark. I could sense a feeling of fear emanating from the walls and an old memory of an intense childhood trauma flashed before me. As I discussed my feelings with Surja, she introduced me to a ‘campfire’ process whereby I put all the people from my memory around a campfire. “Why don’t you have a chat and find out why the other people were behaving as they did, and let them now your true feelings – let the younger you talk to them as if they were here right now”, Surja said. The fireside chat continued until we’d all emptied ourselves, having shared from our deepest hearts. And my little childhood self finally, truly understood why and how everything had taken place. Tears streamed down my cheeks and peace washed through my body. Somewhere deep within I knew the tumour’s healing had begun. For days, I felt my body processing and with only 10 days until I was due back at the doctor, I felt my stomach growing flatter. Over those next days, I continued with the memory processing exercise. When I went back to the doctor’s office, my heart was pounding. I felt a mixture of excitement, anticipation and fear washing through me. At the end of the examination, she said “Well, there’s been a big improvement. The pelvic mass seems to have gone down significantly – from the size of a basketball to the size of a cantaloupe. You still need to have it surgically removed. That’s my strong

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advice to you.” The words fell on my ears with a dull thud. Everything she said made sense but everything inside me was still saying ‘NO!’ I thanked her for her time and said that my belief was not that the tumour would blow up and down and up again, but that I was on a healing journey. I was determined to honour my body and would give it whatever time it needed to complete the healing process. Ultimately, my own healing journey led me to discover a means for all of us to get direct access to the infinite intelligence in the core of our being – to that part of you that makes your heart beat, your eyes shine and your hair grow. From this deepest level, the torch gets turned on and you undergo a journey to very specific parts of your body, uncovering old repressed cell memories and ultimately going through a process of release, letting go and forgiveness of yourself, of God, of life. Through this radical clearing the body is then able to go through its own process of healing, so that not only the body but the being can heal. I could never have known that my own wake up call would become a healing process that millions of people around the world can now use to clear whatever’s holding them back in life, to clear whatever lampshades they’ve put on, to clear whatever blocks them and to open into their own authentic, joyous, free selves. So these days The Journey has become well known as a process that facilitates cellular healing and awakening, and is being used not only for physical healing but also for emotional healing, to clear whatever sabotages us, or holds us back in any way. Mainly it’s being used as a stepby-step process to awaken people to their own infinite divine potential and to come home and begin living a fulfilled life, fully expressed as their own authentic self. And so the greatest blessing of my life has been this journey – the amazing gift of being able to witness each day, humanity’s call to wake up to the truth of its own self and to heal. Brandon is in Australia teaching the powerful tools pioneered from her own healing journey at the 2-day Journey Intensive weekends being held in Sydney, Perth, Gold Coast, Melbourne and Auckland. For more info and bookings call 02 6629 1881 or visit www.thejourney.com/ australasia/intensive.htm

www.empoweonline.com.au


life | Feature

Love by the

stars

Whether you’re trying to gain entry to someone’s heart or rekindle the fire in your relationship, Mark Husson shows you how to wiggle into the life of each sign during the summer of 2011.

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ummer of 2010 brought us to the realisation that things might have to change in our relationships. The catalyst for that change may not have been the relationship itself but the fact that we were taking closer a look at ourselves and discarding the nonessentials from our inner relationship closets. The results of our inner purging found many of you newly single and most of you in shock! Thankfully, 2011 omits the turbulence of 2010 and offers us a fighting chance to re-engage in our quest for relationships, or at the very least, our quest to enhance our existing ones. Follow the guide below to gain a sneak peak into each star sign and experience love by the stars.

About Taurus

About Aries:

About Gemini

The summer months are going to slow things down for the Aries natives. Having had such a run of expansion earlier this year, they are now being asked to take a breather; to slow things down a bit. That said, they’re going to be more open to advances coming towards them, after all, no ram wants to sit around doing nothing. Be more brave than normal and you’re likely to make great progress. Secret tip: Aries love to be the knights in shining armor so give them a chance to rescue you from something (a project, a person, a deadline). They won’t let you down.

Yes they love to communicate with you but getting one to simply stop is going to be a challenge. Look for an opportunity to connect; when it arises listen to what they’re saying and then reflect it back to them in your own words, like you’ve been listening! When they realize you’re actually keeping up with them, you can ask them anything you want and get it! Secret tip: don’t pin them to appointments and schedules, keep things loose and they’ll come find you.

Summer 2011

Taurus natives have a lot to look forward to this summer so you can expect their moods to be on the high side. That’s great news for those of you wanting to make a difference in your bull’s life. Expect them to love being pampered and to say ‘no’ to every plan you lay out – at least at first. Taurus wants to be spoiled and if you have the means to do so, you can win! If you don’t have the funds to back up your seductive promises of a good time, then you can compensate with shameless adoration. Secret tip: a massage just below the neck is like flipping a switch that turns off the “no” and turns on the “yes”. Use it wisely and with abandon.

About Cancer Cancer natives have an eclipse floating

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around them this summer and it could activate all sorts of moods. The one sure way to bypass their pinchers is to dangle a tasty morsel of money or food in front of them. That’s right; money and food represent security, a primary issue with cancer. While you’re dangling, tell them something hopeful about the economy and watch their mood shift faster than you can say “come to mama!”. Secret tip: Never ask a cancer for a favor directly; if it’s not their idea you simply will not get it.

About Leo It’s their birthday season (yes they get an entire season) and they are all primed and ready for compliments so start talking! Their hair, their clothes, their pedicures, anything that you know you’ve put extra time into and are proud of. This will allow you to enter their kingdom with full on invitation. Once there, it’s important to not push but gently suggest while stroking their mane. The proper tone could get you just about anything you want. Secret tip: Leo’s value your support and strength, if you can solve a problem for them, you’ll get into their inner circle much faster.

About Virgo This summer is the first one in a while where Virgo natives are going to feel free


Feature | life

from the restraints of Saturn. Chances are, they are going to be overworked and stressed from all the multitasking they’ve been doing. Try to notice their hard work and see if there is something you can do on your own to lighten their load. Once you’ve made your attempt, there is a good chance the virgins will warm up to your requests. Word of caution, if you help them, be more thorough than you ever thought was possible. Secret tip: Virgos are moody and can be easily thrown off their game. If you hear an edge in their voice, like a critical tone emerging, back off and choose another day.

About Libra The ever more serious natives of Libra are still taking on lots of responsibilities even if they make it look easy! Approach them with a mature tone and an “on task” appearance so that they aren’t put off by any childish displays. With Saturn in their sign there isn’t a lot of room for small talk, but appreciating their good taste is never wrong. Secret tip: You can get what you want from a Libra if you carefully play the “something isn’t fair” card. They just hate injustice!

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About Scorpio Scorpio natives may be a little restless this summer but that doesn’t mean they’re not interested in making a new connection. You have to be upfront and fully exposed with these guys or you could chase them back into hiding. Work will be their topic of interest so be sure to know something about

what they do. The fine line here is that you don’t look like you’re up to something as they have superior radar. Be fully disclosing every chance you get. Secret tip: Don’t look a Scorpio native in the eyes just yet, that may be seen as way too aggressive. Let them take the lead in all personal moves.

About Sagittarius One of the most generous signs of the zodiac is also enjoying a prosperous summer. If you can catch a Sagittarius when they’re happy, you can ask them for anything and expect to get more than promised. It may require an ostentatious display of gratitude but it’s worth it to get a gift from Zeus’s own! Secret tip: Since Sagittarians hate the “real world”, why not take a risk and tell your Sag that they remind you of a character out of “The knights of the round table” and watch their eyes get big and ready for anything you say.

About Capricorn More serious than ever Capricorn is ready to give you anything that you are willing to pay or work for but getting them to give you a break is going to take some work. First remember, be mature, be kind and be direct with your Capricorn and compliment their accomplishments when you can. You’ll feel them open and that is when you can pop “the question” whatever it may be. Secret tip: Don’t talk about how hard you’ve had it. Talk about everything like it’s just the way it is. This sign loves it’s own drama but no one else’s.

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About Aquarius With Saturn in their sister sign of Libra, Aquarius natives should be feeling pretty secure and more willing to hear another point of view (trust me, that’s big news). They have big ideas and love to know that you are “on board” with what they’re doing. Once you feel a connection, you can pretty; much ask them for anything. Secret tip: Don’t ask or engage them on a day where you feel they are arguing with everyone; you won’t be the one who gets the special treatment. Just wait it out.

About Pisces Pisces natives like the summer. Usually the planets cooperate with the Pisces natives and they feel optimistic. To be aligned with them they have to know your pain but rather than dropping your life on them, ask them about their childhood. Especially mom! Just that someone listens to that part of their life endears them for life. Secret tip: Deal with your Pisces like a piranha. Don’t underestimate their ruthlessness. Keep things honest and you’ll be fine! Mark S. Husson has a degree in Psychology and a Master’s in Counseling. He is an expert in Astrology and through his astrological classes and workshops enabled psychotherapists, psychiatrists, psychologists, and lay persons to become aware of astrology’s ability to empower themselves and their clients. www.12house.com.

www.empoweonline.com.au


life | Feature

Canyour

relationship

? e v i v r su

Most of us have life and income insurance in case we suffer serious illness or injury or god-forbid, die. But few of us know how to protect our marriage or relationship during financial stress. Karina Stephens provides the four vital strategies to ensure your relationship survives any financial crisis.

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inancial advisors preach that we should prepare for a ‘winter season’ by having a cash-flow buffer to sustain us in times of crisis. But, how do we create a “love-buffer” that will sustain our relationships through that same storm? If you find yourself in a financial crisis, here are four critical strategies to help your relationship survive:

1. Fight for your relationship Firstly, you need to ensure that your relationship is your main priority. If not, be warned, you’re in for a rough time. When hit by the financial crisis, it’s time to put on the boxing gloves and come out fighting. People who survive cancers, serious accidents or trauma make it a priority to survive. It becomes their highest value and this is the approach you need to take to your relationship. My husband and I have a saying: “I’m never getting out of the spa”. To us it means that there is no ‘out’ in our marriage. When we use this term, it’s us saying “I’m not giving up on us”. This saying came about when we spent time in a luxurious spa, which overlooked the Pacific Ocean in Fiji. We were surrounded by candles and the sound of the waves. Now, whenever we have a disagreement or challenging time, one of us will say, “I’m never getting out of the spa” and instantly the uncertainty of the moment is replaced with the feeling of that memory and the certainty of our love.

Summer 2011

Your relationship needs to be the most important thing during times of financial stress and you need to stick together and fight for it.

2. Communication is the key Money is never the REAL issue; the real issue is lack of communication. Money may be the topic of the argument or the catalyst for heated discussion but it is never the root cause. Generally, people stop communicating when they feel fear, a common feeling when it comes to lack of money. When under financial stress, most of us think it’s better to say nothing, either because we don’t want to make the whole thing real or we don’t want our partner to worry or we hope that it will go away or we feel that we need to deal with it ourselves. But remember, two problem-solving heads are better than one.

3. Do not be defined by roles We all play a number of roles in our professional and personal lives. From mother, wife and daughter to friend, business owner, employee or breadwinner. When we define our self worth by our various roles however, problems arise if one of those roles disappears. The most common example of this is perhaps of a person who is the main breadwinner for a family and who suddenly is made redundant. Viewing themselves as a failure they feel unworthy and shut out the very people who love them the most.

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If you have played the role of provider and then suddenly you can’t work and your spouse has to take over that role, then being able to shed the role of provider, without guilt or shame, and adopt another equally important role, will be crucial to your relationship. We need to define our worth by who we are, not what we do. By defining yourself by who you are and not by the roles you play you will adapt more quickly and easily to change because the transition to a different role will be a lot smoother and more manageable. You will add just as much value to those around you in ay role.

4. Don’t blame and shame When a financial crisis hits drop the “blame and shame” game. Continuously blaming, whinging and nagging about the current state of affairs will do nothing for communication in your relationship. It’s also interesting to remember that when you point the finger of blame at another person, there are three fingers pointing back at you. Karina Stephens has over 22 years experience in the health and wellbeing industry. She is co-founder of NeuroTransformational Strategies, the new science of permanent behaviour change. She is a Life Enrichment Coach, author and Speaker in the areas of personal growth and spiritual development. karina@enrichgroup.com.au or visit www.karinastephens.com


goddess

Sex Advice | life

Become a sexual

In this issue, Dr Janet Hell shows you how to break free from your early sexual programming and become the sexual goddess you deserve to be.

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rom my practice as a sex therapist, I believe that we need to encourage women to overcome their embarrassment in sex and affirm their deservedness to enjoy being wanton and take as much time as they wish to peak to orgasm. These feeling of low sexual esteem are often the result of early sexual conditioning by parents and teachers.

The Madonna/Whore Syndrome Many women are hung-up on the sexual prohibition that “nice girls don’t have sex and enjoy it”. So many men have complained to me that their wives seemed to be sexually very interested before they married, but have switched off since. I’ve asked many women about this and it emerges that they didn’t really have that much interest in sex prior to marriage but went along with it because “it kept him interested”. Now that they are married and are confronting the challenges of career and/or children, sex becomes a chore and they have very little desire for it. Do you see the contradiction here? At first, the woman seems to be doing everything in her powers to turn the guy on by seducing him with her visual appeal and non-verbal come-ons. Then, once she has him where she wants him, she turns off her sex appeal and settles down to rear her brood.

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Jane’s Story Jane was hysterical in her first therapy session. She had been terrified that I would tell her that she should leave her husband because she had absolutely no desire to have sex with him. In fact, Jane said she

even hated him touching her. When he stroked her arm she felt her skin crawl! Yet, Jane said, everything else in the marriage, besides sex, was fabulous. Sex had been fine when they first met. Then Jane’s mother had died of cancer and she had been totally devastated by the loss. Her husband, Todd, had been compassionate during that time and understood that she had not wanted sex. But that was two years ago! Jane needed to learn how to turn her sexual switch back on! Some women are conditioned to be “stuck” at a sexual dead-zone by their prudish or abusive fathers and mothers!

Corrine’s Story Corrine was happily married to Marvin, who was fifteen years her senior. Their marriage was happy in every way except one – sex. He was hurt, exasperated and frustrated by the lack of response he was getting from his attempts to please his wife. Marvin put it this way, “I’ve put myself through every sexual acrobat I can think of, and nothing ever seems to give her a buzz”. Corrine admitted that sex had never really been of interest to her. She said, “I’d like to please Marvin, but I can’t pretend if I don’t really like it”. Corrine had received her sex education from a very sexually repressed mother, who had always warned her daughter about the dangers of boys and the terrible fate that would await her should she ever get pregnant. In hypnotherapy, Corrine accessed memories of her mother’s warnings. We revisited that time and coached her younger self to refuse to accept her mother’s negative view of sex. Gradually, Corrine

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started to give herself permission to enjoy sex and Marvin was thrilled when she reported having her first orgasm. Now she knew what she had been missing out on! So, what can be done to resolve the Madonna/Whore Syndrome? The first suggestion I’d like to make is that we re-label the dilemma so that it’s more palatable for the lady. I prefer to call it “The Nice Girl/Naughty Girl Syndrome”. With this label, women are more likely to see the challenge about letting go of the Nice Girl as a chance to let her frisky self come out to play. (Another useful label that I have used successfully is the “Lady and the Lusty Lover”.) The second suggestion is that men do not try to become their partner’s therapist. Some women who are stuck at “sexual off-switch” retreat even more into their dead-zone when they are bombarded by vibrators, pornographic movies and demands to “swing by their pubes” from the chandeliers. If a woman is stuck at the Nice Girl stage, she needs very gentle coaching and objective direction from a sex therapist. Trustfully, she will learn to relax into her Naughty Girl side and enjoy what is her birthright – a healthy and lustful sex-life. Dr Janet Hall is a Clinical Psychologist, Sex Therapist, Hypnotist, Author , Media contact and Speaker. She is the author of eight books including “Sex-Wise Teens” and “Sex-life Solutions” and 18 CDS in the Sensational Sex Series. For more information visit www.drjanethall.com.au or email jan@drjanethall.com.au

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wellbeing | Spotlight On

kinesiology

Exploring

rstood practice designed de un le litt t bu d use ly de wi a Kinesiology is body and resolve various issues to uncover stress patterns in the difficulties and health issues. ng rni lea ur, vio ha be l na tio nc including dysfu ins. Kinesiologist, Ondrej Bursik, expla

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recognised the face. I quickly searched through my memory to put a name to it. Ah yes, she was the mother of one of my clients; so I asked how her son, Matthew, was. “He is about to leave for overseas with his girlfriend. They are planning to drive through Europe for two months”. As ld conversations go this one probably wou ss unle y; man to ual unus ed seem not have ago. ths mon you had known Matthew nine n I must have had a very surprised expressio me, at ed look Jane use on my face beca shook her head from side to side and said, “I know, I can’t believe it either”. When Matthew came to see me nine old, months ago he presented as a 31 year had ds, frien no had e, hom at that lived ng never been in a relationship, had no drivi of out lled trave licence and had never NSW; and with the exception of attending t a University for 12 hours a week, spen es at gam r most of his time playing compute to him d ince conv home alone. His mother and n essio expr oral with him see me to help oral presentation skills. He needed to do an this d foun presentation at university and ral task daunting. However, it was an integ . done be to ed need and ies part of his stud thew Mat g askin y toda er emb rem still I to repeat a goal that we were about to embark on “can you please say for me ‘I express myself with confidence’”. We were about to start a process known as holistic kinesiology; an approach to n to healing, through which Matthew bega ty, socie of part ral integ an see himself as growing in confidence and increasing his self-worth. Thomas is an 11-year-old boy that came to me for a Holistic kinesiology session two months prior. I asked Thomas to read a passage from a book. It was the

Summer 2011

same passage that he struggled with only last week. He was very reluctant; he had s tried this so many times; hours and hour e mad that g ethin som read to g spent tryin ons no sense to him. This was our third sessi ed look and l nove together. He opened the at the first page with an expression of here we go again, and read the first line. He r looked up in amazement; he had neve ed look kly quic read a line that fast. He line, down and proceeded to read the next le who the then and h, grap para then the . page. He was making hardly any mistakes read to ed start he After the first paragraph n louder and with more confidence. Whe eyes “my said he felt he how him I asked work, my brain works!” He had always struggled with reading and was over four years behind his age group average. To succeed at school he had needed to improve his reading skills

What is Kinesiology?

The word Kinesiology comes from the word Kinetics, which is the study of movement. In the early 1960’s a rt chiropractor named George Goodhea ied appl ed nam he that pline disci formed a rn easte of n ratio integ an was It gy. siolo kine ern west a philosophy principles with understanding of body structure and the s. ability to monitor body’s response to stres rican Based on this original work an Ame Chiropractor Dr John Thie created that Touch for health, a kinesiology system pline disci this learn to door opened the gy without studying chiropractics. Kinesiolo this for term ric started to be used as a gene approach to healing.

How does it work?

Through gentle muscle monitoring kinesiologists are able to ascertain

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where certain blocks or stress patterns reside within the body. These stress al, patterns may be of physical, emotion re. natu in biochemical or spiritual Unresolved stress can lead to the establishment of neural compensation to programs. These programs may lead ing, learn er hind r, dysfunctional behaviou our to tal imen detr or even become say wellbeing. Most kinesiologists would that rather then healing the client they facilitate the session so healing can take to place. The body has a unique ability ance guid e som with often and heal itself gist and help from a well-trained kinesiolo the ck unlo to it will do so. The key is stress patterns that are present within our body and guide the body through be a process so these stress patterns can the to d ecte conn dissolved. Muscles are m; brain through our central nervous syste is and cted dete be can l leve any stress on This reflected through a muscle response. ng erlyi und for ing is invaluable when look . erns patt s issues and stres

What is holistic Kinesiology?

of Holistic kinesiology is the combination from s pline disci us kinesiology and vario . complementary and western medicine , icine med ese chin al ition trad on hasis Emp , omy anat nutrition, communication, physiology, pathology, homeopathic, energetic systems like chakras and auric fields are strongly represented within the studies. It is a discipline that truly takes a holistic approach to healing. A holistic and kinesiology’s explores the stress patterns y man from onse resp body the s rtain asce r angles. This gives the client a much bette rns patte g rlyin unde the t understanding wha lve reso to done be can t wha may be and and dissolve them.


Spotlight On | wellbeing

became much more than just being able Thomas tion for a University key to do an oral presenta In the first session with Thomas, several cle exam. Through mus feedback it was s ra stress patterns were identified. These stres identified that Mathew’s solar plexus chak n Whe ing. read his t affec ld wou us rns patte was greatly stressed. The solar plex e; Thomas was asked to read, the following chakra is what drives our inner confidenc r inne gain was observed: we h whic it is the place from s • His base chakra was out of balance strength. Following the pattern of stres had that tions this affected his adrenal system and his emo ront conf to had hew Mat . ated activ s was year x 26 refle For o . Mor been buried for a long time in ult diffic it d foun thew • The amygdala, a specific region with (since age five) Mat the limbic system that deals with core to interact with others. Why wouldn’t he or emotions and memory, was showing when he “knew” that no one loved him in cially was It espe ? , view onse of strong stress resp wanted to hear his point cing relation to fear. easier to be isolated and alone by redu was mas Tho . n whe mum s, mini term bare an’s a to laym ns In interactio t” The underlying attitude stemming asked to read he entered a “fight or fligh that what onse resp ival response. This is a surv from age five “that no one really cares t grea him in s ed love plac one are no we use n is needed whe he has to say beca s, al danger whereby blood rushes to our limb anyway” was at the core of his withdraw l hera left r perip our heart rate increases and our from life. Age five was when his fathe his vision is almost shut down. the family. Unfortunately for Matthew , ted hard so affec it ing that read d such foun was he No wonder coping mechanism he word the des. than e deca mor two see er not d furth he coul him for a Through holistic kinesiology it is not was looking at. rs was it ng itori mon Through muscle only possible to identify the many facto s was way rn also patte but s rns stres this patte s identified that that lead to stres . originating from a belief system that how each individual can dissolve them reading is unsafe; which stemmed from For Mathew a multie fear of failure. We applied an integrativ directional re, ressu acup g usin oach kinesiology appr flower essences, exploring attitudes, energetic chakra corrections and homeopathies. When we finished our 3rd session I asked Thomas to read a passage from the same book he had tried to read in our first session. I knew that the peripheral vision was back. The amygdala was no longer stressfully responding and the adrenals were not being activated. Simply put, he was able to see much more than just one word and his reading was fluent like never before.

ed to approach was used. His attitudes need ncing bala a and ed alter diet his be changed, At of various energetic centres required. ed the conclusion of our fifth session he look His . dent confi e mor better and sounded presentation was the following week. He I shook my hand and said “thank you”. e som y appl to hoped that he would be able elf hims in with e denc of this newfound confi n to more than just the presentation so whe l trave to leave to t abou is “He said, Jane overseas with his girlfriend” you could imagine my surprise. Holistic kinesiology is truly an integrative approach to healing. The body and has an immense ability to heal, recover we gy siolo kine tic holis change. Through give it the best chance to do so. Ondrej Bursik is the Principal of the of Kinesiology department at the College He tD. Pty.L Complimentary Medicine is the senior Lecture with over 8 years of clinic and teaching experience. He is also the director of the Optimal Learning ren Centre that specialises with helping child s. ultie diffic ing learn and adolescence with

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Matthew

“Can you please say for me ‘I express myself with confidence’?” In our first session together Matthew’s goal about expressing himself 31

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wellbeing | Feature

Detox After a very festive season, the New Year is the perfect time to get healthy and feel great again. Here, Emma Sutherland discusses detoxes and provides you with a simple daily detox to kick off a healthy 2011.

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etoxification is the process used to improve the release of both internal and external toxins and repair the damage they have done. Toxins may enter our bodies through the skin (heavy metals and solvents), via the lungs (cigarette smoke, traffic smog etc), and particularly within our food and water. Toxins may also be produced internally and these are called endotoxins. All detoxification programs involve the release and elimination of toxins from various organs and cells. The toxins are eliminated through various channels such as the kidneys, skin, bowel and liver. Primarily, a detoxification program focuses on the liver and the bowel, as these are the body’s primary defences against reactive toxins and infectious organisms. Detoxification programs have three main goals: 1. To eliminate from your diet, foods that contain toxins, harmful chemicals and allergens. 2. To optimise nutritional status. 3. To hydrate and flush the body’s blood and tissues.

Some symptoms of ‘toxic overload’ • Constipation, irregular/sluggish bowel movements. • Flatulence, abdominal bloating and poor digestion. • Bad breath and coated tongue. • Frequent inexplicable headaches. • Depression, irritability and anxiety. • Weight gain. • Skin rashes, boils, pimples.

• Frequent viral infections/lowered immunity. • General aches and pains. • Low energy levels. • Allergies. The liver detoxifies and processes all substances in circulation in the blood for excretion. This includes not only “pollutant” chemicals absorbed from the environment, i.e. petrochemicals, heavy metals, radioactive wastes etc, but also infective agents, food substances, drugs, pharmaceutical medicine and endogenous wastes. In Chinese medicine there are three emotions related to the liver; anger, depression and frustration. You may experience more or less of these emotions as you go through the process of detoxification

Friends of the Liver Antioxidants are the most important detoxifiers as they protect against the damaging effects of toxins in the body. Sunburn, stress, pollution, drugs, tobacco and alcohol can all cause free radical damage. The best antioxidants are: • Vitamin C and Bioflavonoids. • Vitamin E and Selenium. • Vitamin A and Beta-carotene. • Zinc. • Vitamin B6 and B12. • Lipoic acid.

Nutrients and foods for an optimal detox • All fruit and vegetables – berries, apples, pears (especially the pips), carrots, beetroot, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, red and green capsicum. • Garlic, leek and onions

• Green tea (one-three cups daily). • Lecithin (emulsifies fats and prevents fatty deposits in the liver). • Fish (especially deep sea, ocean and cold water fish). • Nuts and seeds (especially Brazil nuts (high in selenium) and pumpkin seeds (high in zinc)). • Cold Pressed Oils (especially olive and flaxseed oils). • Wheat and Barley Grass, wheat germ and seaweeds.

Herbal medicines for an optimal detox • St Mary’s Thistle. • Dandelion Root (try Dandelion tea or coffee). • Globe Artichoke. Rest whenever tired during a detox and sleep as much as is necessary (you have permission to enjoy an afternoon siesta!).

Water Aim to drink 10-12 glasses of purified or bottled spring water. Unfiltered water may be full of herbicides, pesticides, fertilizers, fluoride and heavy metals. A glass of warm water with the juice of a freshly squeezed lemon first thing in the morning is an excellent remedy for constipation and is the perfect way to start the detoxifying process of the liver each day.

Fibre Fibre supplements provide bulk and moisture for smooth elimination from the bowel and assist with any detoxification program. A combination of psyllium husks, rice bran, slippery elm and ground fennel


Feature | wellbeing

is a real winner! High fibre foods include whole corn, brown rice, lentils, beans, peas, apples, pears, figs, sprouts, nuts and seeds.

Exercise An important part of any detoxification program, exercise helps to improve circulation, stimulate the flow of lymph around the body, encourage the skin to perspire and helps to stimulate deeper breathing. However, it is important to exercise lightly during the initial phase of detoxification. Try to do it in open air in the sunshine.

Skin brushing The skin is the largest organ in the body, and therefore the largest organ of elimination. Sweating and/or skin brushing is a very useful detoxification method. Dry skin brush daily for 5-10 minutes before showering or bathing. If following this program in cooler months an Epsom salt bath will warm you and help detoxification through the skin. Add 1kg of salts per bath and soak for 20 minutes. Afterwards, wrap yourself in a big towel, lie down and continue to sweat. Saunas may be taken with dry skin brushing beforehand.

Deep breathing Breathing techniques are helpful for improving respiratory function. Breathing deeply will not only help to reduce stress levels and increase oxygen intake it will help to clean out the deep recesses of the lungs.

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Substances to avoid when detoxifying • Alcohol. • Tobacco and other non-prescription drugs. • Caffeine containing products i.e. coffee, tea, cola, chocolate. • All animal products except for fish (i.e. Red meat, poultry, shellfish, eggs, dairy products etc).

• Pre-packaged, processed and refined foods. • High-sugar foods. • High fat foods. • Foods containing gluten – wheat, oats, rye, barley. • Avoid all chemical food additives. • Peanuts, oranges, melons.

Tips for success throughout detox • Drink plenty of purified/filtered water • Drink diluted fresh organic fruit and vegetable juices. • Eat meals regularly in a relaxed environment – always chew food thoroughly. • Meals should be 50% raw and 50% cooked – this will provide optimum nutrient and fibre supply. • Keep food preparation simple – steaming, baking and grilling are best. • Rotate food choices daily – choose new fruits, vegetables, a new grain and protein each day. • Eat foods in season and preferably organic where possible. Wash all fruit and vegetable in a mild vinegar to remove chemical residue if not organic produce. (1 cup white vinegar to a sink of cold water). • A modified cleanse may include animal protein. If so, it should be organic or bio-dynamically produced. Lamb and turkey meats are cleaner meats than beef and chicken.

Suggested daily detox regime On waking • Drink one-two glasses of filtered water with juice of half a lemon. Breakfast • One piece of fruit (room temperature). • One bowl cooked grains (millet, brown rice, buckwheat, quinoa) with rice milk or soymilk and a sprinkle of LSA, Missing link or Flax meal. You can add

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• •

a little fruit juice to sweeten or tamari for a savoury taste. Rice or chia bread toasted with either avocado and tomato, tahina, almond butter or salmon and sprouts. Power smoothie with rice or soymilk, fruit, and one of LSA, Acai, Flax meal, Spirulina, Rice bran. Lunch One-two medium bowls of steamed and/or raw fresh vegetables with herbs and spices, plus cold pressed olive oil or linseed oil, apple cider vinegar. Depending on your appetite you may have some brown rice, hummus, tofu, legumes or fish. Sprinkle with raw, unsalted nuts and seeds. Dinner Repeat menu for lunch. Perhaps stirfry, grill, bake or make into a soup.

Fluids Drink 10-12 glasses of filtered water daily plus any herbal teas you like. Save the water from steamed vegetables, add some sea salt and sip as a broth or use in making soups. A daily vegetable juice of carrot/beetroot/ celery/ginger is an excellent Detox liquid. If your blood sugar drops and you need something sweet, dilute apple juice with water 50/50 and sip slowly, have a piece of fruit or have a few teaspoons of brown rice sprinkled with tamari and sunflower seeds chew slowly and very well.

Emma Sutherland is a leading Sydney naturopath who has spent years working with patients in the therapeutic areas of infertility, women’s health, IVF support and Detox. She is a guest presenter at the exclusive Golden Door Health Retreat and features regularly in magazines and on the radio. Her latest project is a TV show about women’s health. www.healthequalsvitality.com.au.

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business profile

A secret

Sharon Thurin thought up the idea for her business, Slim Secrets, during a sleepless night in 2005. Five years on, with a nationally and internationally recognised brand, she talks to emPOWER about where she started, where she’s going and who she’s become along the way. Q. Tell us a little about your background A. I have quite a diverse background with an Arts/Law degree and Diploma of Education. I have also done a Life/Health coaching course. While our kids were young and growing up I worked with my husband in his pharmacies. I came from a very medical family (father, brother, father in-law, brother in law are all Doctors) and have always taken an interest in health and wellness but it has been with no actual food or real business knowledge that I innocently started Slim Secrets. Q. What made you start Slim Secrets? A. I founded Slim Secrets one sleepless night in 2005 as I lay in bed concerned about the growing rate of obesity in Australia. Realising there was a gap in the health and wellbeing market, I set about creating a healthy snack bar range with a point of difference – nutritionally better than others, fun funky packaging and one that actually tasted like a treat. At the time it was meant to be a side hobby but I have never looked back. Q. What were the early days like? A. My early days were spent Googling everything from manufacturers and distributors to business advice and more. It was an extremely challenging but exciting time. To see the first three Slim Secrets bars eventuate after nine months of working on the concept and brand was such a great feeling. Even more satisfying was the great response that we received from consumers, retailers, distributors and exporters. Q. What challenges did you have to overcome? A. In the early days there were many challenges and some continue today. My lack of knowledge of the food industry, labelling and lack of

Summer 2011

business experience were a challenger, however, the biggest challenge was being a new brand coming into the market with very little marketing budget and competing for shelf space with some of the better known large brands. Proving to distributors that Slim Secrets was going to be a success and convincing them to take on the brand was definitely challenging but because the brand did have some unique characteristics this challenge was overcome quite quickly in the early days. A challenge we continually face is our reliance on contract manufacturers for our products. This means we have pressure on us in regards to pricing and new product development isn’t as fast as I would like. Sometimes we need stock produced urgently for exports or supermarket orders due to unexpected demand and we can’t fulfil the order. With exporting, changes in the Australian dollar presents a continual challenge but is manageable. Q. How has the business grown? A. Slim Secrets has grown from a business/hobby comprising three snack bars to a brand that is recognised around the world for providing nutritious snack products. We now have seven bars, plus chips and cookies. We have so much happening over the next 12 months; the growth of the business is potentially huge. Future growth will be through new product launches including, protein shots, gluten free bars under 100 calories, a range of healthier snacks for kids and protein bars for men. We have also evolved with better marketing such as a new TV commercial and utilising social networking for the business.

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The countries we export to have also grown to around 10 and continue to grow. Q. How have you grown personally through the development of the business? A. Developing Slim Secrets into a global brand has been a great confidence and self-esteem booster. Until I started Slim Secrets I hadn’t really done anything for myself. I was someone’s daughter, wife and mother, so to actually start something from scratch on my own and make it a success has definitely changed me as a person. I have also travelled on my own to events such as the Oscars in the US and attended parties, trade shows by myself. Going to Elton John’s party on my own and not knowing a single person was an amazing personal journey and something I could never have imagined myself doing previously. Also, speaking at various functions and doing radio interviews have


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business profile

definitely helped my confidence (although I prefer to leave that side of the business to my husband!). Learning to lead and manage others is a never-ending lesson, but one I immensely enjoy. Some of the leadership principles I live by are: • Be the best you can be in everything you do and others will follow in your footsteps. • Surround yourself with intelligent, positive people. • If you have fun and enjoy what you do, it follows that those around you will have the same experience. • Treat everyone as an equal. Every person involved in Slim Secrets plays a vital role, whether in delivery, manufacture or sales. I ensure that everyone is made to feel important and I always thank, praise and reward those involved. • Expect others to do their best. I only want to work with people with whom I share a work ethic. • Focus on what you can do rather than on what you can’t. Seek help when you can’t do something yourself. • Know how to do everything yourself, but outsource those parts of the business that require expertise. I employ contract manufacturers, warehouse staff, numerous distributors, a bookkeeper, legal advisors, a PR team and more. • Know your business inside out. On any given day I might work in sales, marketing, accounting, legal, etc. • Communication is key. As much as possible, be accessible and available. • Learn from your mistakes. I have made plenty over the past three years, but I try not to repeat them – and I pass the wisdom I’ve gained to my team. Q. What are you most proud of in your business? A. I’ve had some real milestone achievements that I’m proud of, such as: growing a brand from scratch to be well recognised in Australia and 10

countries around the world; having diversity of distribution from major supermarkets to gyms, pharmacies, practitioners, cafes and health food stores and getting the bars onto front counters of Boost Juice within two months of launch. Being called by Woolworths asking how they can stock Slim Secrets was a big thrill and being included in Oscars and Emmy’s bags in the US also ranks highly. We’ve also won awards such as the Healthy Eating Awards, Smart Company Best new Product Award and I was chosen as a Victorian finalist in Telstra Business Women’s Awards. I’m also proud of the many positive emails from our consumers to say how the snacks have helped them with their goals. Q. Who have been your mentors? A. My mentors have varied from family members to business colleagues. In the early days when things were tough setting up Slim Secrets there were many times I wanted to give up and if it wasn’t for my husband Peter and kids coaxing me on Slim Secrets, the business wouldn’t be where it is today. Also in the early days I had a coffee with Janine Allis from Boost Juice and she gave me some great tips especially in relation to intellectual property traps. Q. What would you do differently if you were starting out again? A. It’s funny but I don’t believe that if I started out again I would do anything much differently. The whole process has been a huge challenge that I have loved and whilst much of what has been achieved was done without a proper business plan and vision to begin with, perhaps if I had done it the “accepted way” Slim Secrets may not have grown in the same way. One thing that I would do differently is that until 10 months ago I ran Slim Secrets on my own. I now work with a fantastic person; I don’t know how I did it on my own for so long.

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Q. What’s your vision for the business? A. To be a well-recognised global

brand for great tasting, nutritionally balanced, on-the-go snack products for women, men and kids and in some small way help our growing obesity epidemic. Q. What advice do you have for other women wanting to start a business? A. It can look extremely daunting at the beginning and you may be apprehensive to start a business for reasons such as inexperience, gender, competition, family etc. (I nearly gave up within the first three months because everything was so hard and new for me). Thankfully my husband Peter was an amazing support and he kept me in the game. Without his and my whole family’s support I may not have survived the first few months of my new business. My advice is to find someone in your life that you can talk to and bounce ideas and thoughts off. Get sound advice and don’t be afraid to ask questions from other experienced business owners. Ensure you have a plan but don’t be too rigid as sometimes opportunities present themselves that are too good to not to pursue. Do it- don’t just dream about it. Anyone can have great idea; it’s about turning those ideas into reality. There’s never a right time; you’re never too young or old. If you’re dreaming about it, grab the opportunity now. Don’t be afraid of failure. We risk more than failure if we don’t try to turn our business dreams into reality; we risk not achieving our potential in life.

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career | Feature

finesse Communicating with

Savleen Bajaj shows how to communicate with tact, courtesy and finesse to increase your credibility and influential power in the workplace.

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ave you ever wondered what makes some people extraordinary communicators? People, who possess powerful communication skills, seem to naturally stand out and shine. Their mastery as an accomplished communicator is visible in the confident and authentic image they project. Their finesse is heard in their conscious choice of words and feelings, the polished style with which they speak, and in the reflection of support shown by others. They are consistently able to voice their opinions with authority, respect, diplomacy and tact, whilst maintaining a sense of dignity, selfcontrol and understanding. Extraordinary communicators inspire others with respect. They focus on getting people to respond positively by their own authenticity, character and practice of humaneness. Such communicators gain respect, cooperation and loyalty. They understand that the process of communicating can be more important than the actual message. How YOU communicate affects what YOU communicate. One of the most important keys to successful human relationships is effective communication. A breakdown in communication is often avoidable, if the process of receiving and transmitting information, ideas, thoughts, feelings, and needs is carefully managed. Tact and diplomacy is a combinative skill of sensitivity, respect, wisdom, empathy,

Summer 2011

and intuition. When used appropriately and in balance, you become equipped to respond with a certain delicacy of feeling and knowingness, which influences others positively. Successfully navigating through communication challenges opens doors to new opportunities. Applying effective skills of tact and diplomacy enables you to express your views without compromising your position, image, integrity, inner truth, or diminishing your authority. Instead, it improves your ability to nurture relationships, maintain caring bonds, work collaboratively with people and network proficiently. Furthermore, these skills can help you leverage opportunities for enjoying promotions and advancement, gain cooperation and commitment from others, boost business and profits, accelerate attentiveness and understanding, negotiate deals and solve problems without having to ostracise, embarrass, intimidate, invalidate, anger, provoke or insult anyone. In simple terms, the art of communicating with diplomacy, tact and finesse is the powerful ingredient that awakens latent potential to: • Positively convey a message. • Inspire, share, motivate or educate. • Influence a course of action. • Build trust and strengthen relationships • Problem-solve. • Increase collaboration and teamwork. • Listen with tact and diplomacy. • Paraphrase, for greater clarity and meaning.

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• Keep communication channels open. • Deliver positive and negative feedback constructively. • Rephrase blunt language to achieve positive results. • Politely disagree without being disagreeable. • Eliminate misunderstandings that cripple relationships . • Demonstrate emotional maturity • Approach challenges with a WIN/ WIN paradigm. • Enhance morale and human behaviour. The power of effective communication undeniably lies behind personal and career success. How you communicate influences how others perceive you – your intentions, your attitude, your performance, and your results. When used appropriately, diplomacy, tact, and credibility positively impact your personal and professional image. Here are some action steps you can take to develop superior communication skills to excel in your personal and professional life.

1. Communicate powerfully Communication is affected by various aspects such as; self-worth, emotions, communication style, family of origin, gender, culture, character, values, needs, experiences, career and work. Powerful communication begins with the clarity and calibre of feeling, with which you communicate – right mixture of feeling and analytical flavour will increase your


Feature | career

effectiveness. Choose and use the most appropriate words, emotional tone and non-verbal communication for every situation. An essential element is to practice mindfulness. Be aware of why, how, what and when you communicate. Remember, How YOU communicate affects what YOU communicate. Miscommunications are costly to you and others. Therefore ensure that your message is delivered appropriately and effectively.

2. Positive improvements Positive relationships are the key to all success. The results you get, define the meaningfulness of your communication. Continuously look for better ways to communicate when you fail to get the results you expect. Be responsible for your own level of comprehension, rather than blaming others for failing to understand.

3. Practice an assertive communication style Shift your focus inward to your own personal communication style. Are you using a passive, aggressive, passiveaggressive or assertive style? Your communication style impacts the image others have of you. Use a style that communicates diplomacy, tact, and credibility. When communicating, focus on achieving WIN/WIN outcomes. The challenge is to use creativity and collaboration to arrive at decisions and solutions that work for everyone in the particular situation. Remember, aggressive, passive and passive aggressive communication all produce outcomes in which someone loses. Capitalize on a positive style for more effective communication.

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4. Be authentic and approachable Be yourself. Don’t try to be someone else. Be the best of you, and be that person every day. Authenticity makes you approachable and valuable. Smile, be warm to others, give yourself permission to be real, and consistently be humane to everyone. This enables you to communicate your ideas or message tactfully and diplomatically in a more accepting, open, and warm

environment. By sharing your own opinions more proactively, you can become more direct in your communication. Balancing directness and sensitivity leads to a more effective approach.

5. Enhance your credibility Credibility is about trustworthiness. It is a decisive quality. It is largely about being true to yourself – having a consistency between ideas, promises, actions and follow through. Keeping your integrity intact enhances your credibility. Integrity is about being authentic and transparent with others, doing what you say you are going to do. Congruent words and actions are critical to maintaining integrity and enhancing credibility.

6. Listen with diplomacy and tact Use effective listening skills to build and improve your image, and your ability to communicate with tact, diplomacy, and credibility. This involves cultivating empathy by being sensitive to what is appropriate when dealing with others, being frank, sincere and open without offending others. Masterful listening is to be mentally engaged in what the other person is saying. Practice being attentive and give your full attention to the other person. To lay the groundwork for your tactful response, it is imperative that you learn to connect and develop trust and rapport through effective listening.

7. Develop empathy Develop sensitivity. Begin practicing greater awareness of the other person’s emotions, moods and attitudes, including their differing opinions, personality and interaction style. Responding with the same level of empathy you would want to receive, and keeping others in mind before you speak demonstrates respect for others. Relating humanely will naturally elevate your communication to a higher level.

8. Respond with tact and diplomacy Determine your objective before communicating to ensure your communication is concise and appropriate.

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It is important to understand your message before attempting to express it to others. When responding and expressing your message, it is important that you avoid harsh words, be gentle with your voice, avoid insulting non-verbal language, refrain from comments that mistakenly come across as being arrogant, unsure, nervous, angry or condescending. Communicating with tact and diplomacy requires you to elevate your choice of words, tone and manner to achieve win/win outcomes.

9. Create an action plan Create an action plan for communicating with diplomacy and tact, to improve your communication skills. Seek feedback from a trusted friend or colleague on your style and effectiveness of communication. Communication is vital to the maintenance of relationships on the job and at home. Becoming a skilful communicator is considered a key element in living a successful life. Remember, poor communication skills carry a great liability. People who can’t communicate effectively are at risk of losing; opportunities for enjoying close and loving relationships, promotions and advancement, cooperation and commitment from others, customers and profits, attentiveness and respect. With the right attitude, conversational direction and communication tools, you will be amazed at how communicating with tact and diplomacy can help reinvent your enthusiasm to work with people. Developing skills, to do and say what you mean, can do wonders to rebuild relationships that can impact your life in a positive manner. Savleen Bajaj is a Success Coach, Psychologist, International Speaker, Author, and Intuitive. She is the recipient of multi-international awards for her contribution to Psychology, Leadership, and Women’s Wellness. Savleen is a noted expert in the practical use of Extraordinary Communication, Emotional Intelligence and Influential Leadership, and works with her clients to achieve personal breakthroughs and great success. Visit her website at www.savleenbajaj.com

www.empoweonline.com.au


career | Feature

Happy

New Career! In this issue, career coach, Sally-Anne Blanshard shows how to apply your usual New Year’s Resolutions to create a happy new career.

I

f you’re like most people, the following feature regularly on your New Year’s Resolution list:

• Get healthy and detox • Exercise more • Make more money • Save Well, they still can this year but let’s turn these resolutions to your career and give it a real workout.

Get healthy and detox Remove the toxic things in your workplace and job and see your career shine: People – avoid the water filter gossip and negative chatter. This idle chatter only enhances the negativity and you end up taking on from others. Get comfy with the word “NO!” – Learn to push back and say no if your workload does not permit any more things to add to your to do list. Facebook or whatever else distracts you - Many workplaces now monitor Facebook and personal email usage, so do yourself a favour log out before you are found out. Turn off the email alerts that tell you someone has commented or tagged a photo of you and lose the trigger of distraction.

Summer 2011

Sarah worked for an accounting firm and felt drained from always being told by a colleague how terrible one of the Managers was. They seemed obsessed with picking faults and could not see the good in what management was trying to achieve. Sarah started to distance herself from the source and also suggested positively that the colleague share her grievances with HR. This new positive outlook started to pay off and the colleague eventually moved on from Sarah, leaving her feeling lighter at work and able to focus on her job.

Exercise more Get your career moving in the direction you want: Study -What courses can you do to enhance your performance at work? Being able to show interest in furthering your professional development will enhance your opportunities for the future. Who knows, your employer may even have a policy in place that funds a relevant course. Personal Development – Have you always wanted to learn Spanish or to make pasta from scratch? Do you have dreams of owning your own cafe and serving the best coffee in town? Look into a local community college course or short courses run in the area. Learning something new on a personal level will not only give you immense satisfaction and make work more enjoyable, it will also give you something else to talk about when networking. Andrea left her job in PR with long hours to focus on following her dream of owning a shop. She had no experience – just the fire in her belly. She did a local college business course, started to understand the types of businesses she admired (and despised!) did her research, utilised her PR contacts and set about creating an online store sourcing unique home wares from around the world. She may not have a roof on her shop yet but she is learning what clients like and not only will this help her fulfil her dream it’s adding value at work. Mentoring Programs – Some organisations run mentoring programs each year where you can nominate yourself as mentee. Be stretched to a new level and

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see your career bloom. With someone else involved this is a given. Speak up – Start asking for what you want in your career. If you want to manage people, start showing that you have potential by nurturing junior staff and being of assistance to your Manager. If you are looking for additional responsibilities be proactive and put your hand up for any projects you can get involved in. Networking – Networking doesn’t mean going to events and handing out your business cards. Networking starts much closer to home, or should that be work. Networking is about being able to engage in interesting conversations with people that you know and people that you want to get to know. In your current role think about conversing with other Divisional Managers, the HR Director and even the CEO – that you normally scurry past in the corridor, eyes to the floor. Being remembered by other people within your workplace may help you when planning new roles and promotion opportunities. Externally, consider any industry events that may help you advance your career. Professional associations often host networking lunches with an interesting speaker and the chance to meet new people in your field. Check and diarise the events schedule on their websites and ask your friends and colleagues what networking events they go to. It is always easier to take along a colleague or friend to these kind of events but remember, networking is about meeting new people, so enjoy mingling.

Make more money Earn more responsibility and in turn that into more dollars: Promotion – Getting to grips with how you get a promotion will give you a head start in what you need to do to get ahead this year. Talk to someone you know has been promoted. What did they have to do – is there an internal recruitment process featured on your intranet? Start


iStockphoto

Feature | career

to plan what you need to do and how you may approach a promotion. Maybe your appraisal meeting is the right environment to start suggesting how you would like to advance your career. If that meeting is not for a while catch up with your Manager and talk through your thoughts and ask what you need to do in order to advance early. This will also help you craft your professional development plan. Salary – Having turned a corner from the Global Financial Crisis, employers are dipping their hand back into the corporate purse for projects and new staffing requirements. Perhaps you even noticed it with your Christmas party this year. Be aware of what you and your skills are worth and ensure your salary is on track. Perhaps some may need an adjustment, others preferring a pay rise to maintain motivation in their roles. You can access salary surveys from most specialist recruiters and also get a feel for how much your kind of role will be paying by looking for a similar role on job board websites and newspapers. Similar to the approach of gaining a promotion, aim to talk to your employer and negotiate up. Remember – aim high and be prepared to compromise or settle on a realistic figure. Carmel wanted to move on from her current position that she had attained for four years. She was bored but knew she could offer her employer so much more. She set about identifying the needs of the business and how her skills could provide a solution to some problems in the business processes. With

courage, she approached her boss and talked through a prepared proposal and discussed how she could look at moving into a new role whilst also helping train her assistant to take on her old role. After three months the plan was implemented and Carmel now has a new job, new focus and is even officially mentoring her assistant to achieve her goals. Redesign your resume – The employment market is improving and as such you never know when you may get a call from a head-hunter or recruiter. Having your resume up to date will give you a head start for any new opportunities presented to you. Make sure that you are adding and updating your resume throughout the year with any new courses you have attended, achievements and new responsibilities. A good exercise is to make this a Saturday morning project. Go to your favourite cafe and get your regular coffee fix. Grab a blank sheet of paper and try to write your current role and achievements on your resume from scratch. You will start to think of new things to add to your skills instead of reading your old resume and adding to it.

Save Be smart with your time, energy and focus: Save time – Move over procrastination and get down to business on specific things that you want to achieve this year. You can set goals (see below) but first acknowledge the inner-procrastinator and observe your behaviours when setting out

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to take on a big task. Planning in advance, concentrating and focusing on the task and rewarding yourself will pay off. Remember, the things you wanted to fiddle around with in advance of the big project will still be there to have a play with later. Be focused and set some goals – If you want to really achieve something this year commit to it. Write it down, share it with someone who will ask you how you are going and put a visual reminder on the fridge. Whether this is a picture of your favourite house that you want to buy, or perhaps a picture of the car you see yourself cruising in, a visual reminder helps keep you focused. Also consider breaking this goal down into smaller chunks – where are you now in relation to that goal, how will you get to your goal and who may be able to help you. All this can also be achieved with the support of life or career coaches, financial planners or other professional advisors. Sally-Anne Blanshard is the Career Manager for www.myambition.com a website dedicated to helping individuals accelerate their job search and career strategy. In addition, Sally-Anne coaches candidates through interactive tutorials, workshops and one to one coaching sessions. sally-anne@myambition.com www.myambition.com

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finances | Feature

Seven

deadly

Whether it’s sloth or gluttony, envy or greed, sinning with your super can lead to a less-than-heavenly retirement.

E

ven if you’re not up to speed on the rules of superannuation, avoiding the seven deadly sins of super will maximise your nest

egg.

Pride – put it in your pocket Being too proud to ask for, or follow, the right advice can mean missing out on valuable investment opportunities. Worse still, innocent mistakes like making excess contributions could land you in hot water with the taxman (see “Greed”). So put your pride in your pocket and make a date with your adviser to check that your super strategy is on track.

Sloth – the deadliest sin Taking a slothful approach to your super means risking a cash-strapped retirement. The latest (March 2010) Westpac ASFA Retirement Standard, which benchmarks the annual budget needed to fund retirement, shows that it costs a couple around $53,000 annually to fund a ‘comfortable lifestyle’. In particular, consider making additional contributions in the transition to retirement. Take a close look at salary sacrifice – diverting part of your pre-tax income into super rather than taking the money as cash in hand. Or aim to make additional non-deductable contributions from your own pocket. If your annual income is below $61,920 you could also be entitled to a government co-contribution in each financial year. Track down any ‘lost’ super by checking the Tax Office Super Seeker (at www.ago.gov.au), and determine

Summer 2011

sinsofsuper

whether consolidating multiple accounts into one fund is appropriate for simpler management.

Wrath – emotion has no place in investing The sharemarket volatility of recent years has affected the nest eggs of most Australians, causing understandable concern. But don’t forget that despite the last few years, quality shares remain an important superannuation investment because they have a very good chance of delivering strong long-term returns. It’s never an easy time for investors when the sharemarket hits a pocket of turbulence. However like any sensible air traveller, the smart advice is to buckle up tight and avoid the temptation to grab the parachute. Having a disciplined approach and being in a relationship with a trusted adviser who monitors your personal situation can help ride out the tough times. Your adviser can show you how to spread your investments across different asset classes so you can receive worthwhile returns and income from your portfolio even in periods of uncertainty.

Envy – it’s your super, not the Joneses Comparing the performance of your super fund to those of friends or family can be a serious sin. Your goals for retirement and the strategies used to achieve them are uniquely yours. Over the very long-term period in which super is invested, there will be times when your fund streaks ahead while others languish, and vice versa. The key is to stick with your longterm strategy. Changing tack midstream because you’re envious of someone else’s super returns could unhinge the whole foundation of your retirement plans.

Gluttony – eating up too much now leaves the cupboard bare later Gluttony can be a problem during the accumulation phase of super if we simply don’t save enough but it’s in retirement that we really need to pace ourselves. Developing a budget for retirement living will help you select the appropriate annual drawdown from an allocated pension. You need to resist the ravenous temptation to draw down too much too early and avoid prematurely gobbling up your nest egg.

Greed – pace yourself While super can be great for tax-effective savings, if you’re tempted to put too much away in super each year it could mean paying excess tax. If you’re aged under 50, deductable (before-tax) contributions are limited to $25,000 annually. This total includes employer contributions plus salary sacrifice contributions, or personal contributions claimed as a tax deduction by self-employed workers. If you are aged 50 or over, the annual deductible contributions cap is currently $50,000. Any excess contributions are taxed at 31.5% - that’s in addition to the standard 15% contributions tax. Greed can also tempt us in other ways – so don’t be lured into high risk investments that you may not fully understand in the hope of a higher return. It’s the surest way to come undone.

Lust – better to lust for life, not money It’s generally more satisfying to lust for life rather than money. What’s important in planning your future is to understand and set your lifestyle goals and direct your wealth accordingly.

Theresa Chapman is a Certified Financial Planner passionate about helping women achieve financial security. For more information email tcc@sppgroup.com or visit www.sppgroup.com

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Property | finances

What do they have? Ever wondered why some investors achieve extraordinary success, while others struggle to make the grade? Why some investors attract an abundance of great opportunities, while others are still out there looking? Dale Beaumont explains…

F

rom countless interviews with very successful property investors, I’ve discovered the following ten personal qualities and attributes that all multi-millionaire property investors have in common.

1. A strong desire Successful investors have a strong desire to achieve their goals. They are not willing to compromise on their dreams and tend to be people that won’t settle for a mediocre life. They understand the importance of building wealth, not for the sake of having more money, but for the lifestyle, time and choices it brings. For example, Dymphna Boholt, was at a low point in her life where she’d just gone through a divorce and had two hungry mouths to feed. Her wish to spend time with her kids and provide them with a good upbringing fuelled her desire and drove her to achieve great heights.

2. Think abundance Multi-millionaire investors have an abundance mindset. They are of the belief that opportunities are always there and if they remain positive and optimistic, life will attract to them what they need. They know that the deal of a lifetime comes around once a week. So if you miss an opportunity, keep your chin up, because another deal is waiting just around the corner.

3. Be committed to a strategy Many millionaires I’ve interviewed commented that the biggest mistake they see new investors make is they try to execute too many strategies at once. As a result of chopping and changing, they lose focus, have fewer results and at worse, withdraw from property investing entirely. So take the time to devise a well thought out plan and then stick with it long enough to see it bear fruit. iStockphoto

4. Great communication skills .Multi-millionaire property investors understand the fact that real estate is

ultimately a people business! While the properties themselves may be inanimate objects, the people that own them, and the people around them are real people with feelings and emotions. That is why it’s important to treat people with respect and listen to their needs. News travels fast in property and your reputation is the key.

5. Action orientated This is where the rubber hits the road. High achievers understand there is time for setting goals and developing plans, but then there’s time for action. They know that when all is said and done, most talk but few do. High achievers take deliberate action. They know that anything worthwhile in life does not happen by accident. You must go after it and make it happen.

6. Take responsibility People who make a real success of property investing take responsibility for everything that happens to them. They resist the urge of blaming others for their circumstances. For example if one of their properties becomes vacant for two months they accept responsibility and become proactive about finding a tenant, rather than blaming the property manager.

7. Focus on the team Highly successful investors have all come to the realisation that you can’t do everything on your own. That’s why they’re committed to finding and keeping the best people to work with.

8. Have an ability to bounce back Challenges and obstacles are part of any worthwhile journey. Successful investors

understand this and have developed a special ability to express resilience when times are tough. There’s a Japanese proverb which says, ‘fall down seven times, get up eight’.

9. Committed to continual growth The only certainty in property is that things will never stay the same. That’s why each of the people interviewed for the book are committed to broadening their knowledge base. They advocate the importance of knowing what’s happening in the market and being aware of new issues that might affect them now or in the future.

10. Celebrate your success There is one more quality of successful property millionaires and that is they celebrate their successes and reward themselves for their achievements. There are a lot of people who are not happy because they haven’t mastered this particular quality. So go on, get out there and enjoy the journey!!

‘Secrets of Property Millionaires Exposed!’ takes people up-close and personal with 16 of the country’s most successful property investors. In a surprisingly candid way each contributor shares their own unique wealth strategy and dozens of hints and tips from years of experience. www.SecretsExposed.com.au

Dale Beaumont is the creator of the ‘Secrets Exposed’ series. Having now released over 15 best-selling business books (www.SecretsExposed.com.au). Dale has been featured in all forms of the media and has become a sought-after speaker. To discover more about Dale’s books, read his blog or to download other free articles and resources, please visit www.DaleBeaumont.com.

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change your life in 15 minutes

The gift of

giving

ence to to give a gift that makes a differ e issu s thi for tes nu mi 15 ur yo Use ur started . Here are some ideas to get yo ate tun for s les se tho of s live the

Basket of Hopeprofit organisation that delivers

Basket Brigade is a nonle in need all baskets full of food, drink and gifts to peop hope to assist they n seaso ay holid over the country. This the cause by more than 6,000 families. You can join not volunteer donating $25 to sponsor a basket, or why ets in your bask the er with a few friends to pack or deliv locate a to .au e.org igad etbr local area? Visit www.bask you. near Basket Brigade

cceed Mission to Su r the age of in Australia, up to 13,000 children unde

On any given night Christmas Appeal enables you 12 are homeless. The Mission Australia the opportunity to succeed. A to transform a child’s life by giving them resources so a child can and s donation of $30 will help provide book a child in a school holiday for e plac a ide learn to read; $60 will help prov homeless family with safe and secure playgroup; and $90 will help provide a sionpromotion.com/christmas/ accommodation for one night. www.mis

Life-ChanginegfrienLodsans and embark

Join forces with som on a new investment, provide a muchneeded loan to an entrepreneur in a developing country. www.kiva.org is a person-to-person micro-lending website that partners with expert microfinance institutions. Select from the many entrepreneur profiles available and the contribute an amount of your choice to the of se cour The . loan their of overall cost ng loan is usually six to twelve months, duri nal jour c roni which you can receive elect the updates and track repayments. When eone som to nd re-le can you id loan is repa else in need, or withdraw the funds.

Summer 2011

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Bowl of Love1949, the reverend

On Christmas day in ty Frank Byatt of Victoria placed an emp all d aske and table er dinn the on l bow to ‘present’ to give what they considered ts gues his d urge He l. be the cost of a mea and nes fortu good their on to reflect ss encouraged them to do something selfle d. worl the nd for those less fortunate arou – Creating your own ‘bowl of love’ is easy e mak to ds frien and ly fami your simply ask ay holid a contribution to the bowl at your s to a celebrations, and donate the total fund ce. charity of your choi

that Give Greeting Cardsto your loved ones in style and

Send seasons greetings cause. Many buy your Christmas cards in aid of a good onary stati own their offer ralia Aust charities around e prices. dabl range in a variety of festive designs at affor te iona pass are you Once you have selected a cause what out find to ity char ant about, simply contact a relev help will hase purc r You . lable avai stationary they have community. them to continue their work within the


coaching toolkit Coach yourself to success

SUMMER 2011


LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE week 1

Set Your Goals

AREAS OF YOUR LIFE Date:

Welcome to your first coaching session and congratulations for taking the first step to improving your life. In this first session you will be setting two inspiring goals for different areas of your life. Using the coaching models provided, complete the following exercises.

Where are you now?

On the chart, rate yourself on a scale of 0 - 10 in relation to where you feel you are at in each area of your life right now. Then, draw a line around the chart, joining the dots where you have marked your rating in each area. partner

mily

eg.

10

6

7

5

family

self 8

2

social

4

llbeing

finances

A ‘10’ means you consider that area is perfect and a ‘0’ means major improvement is needed.

social

0

PARTNER Think about this area in the context of whether you’re single or in a relationship. If you’re in a relationship, it refers to how you feel about your life with your partner. Is your relationship what you want it to be? If you’re single, think about your level of satisfaction with being single. Some people would love a committed relationship and others are content as they are. How do you feel?

6

FAMILY This 7 area refers to how you 5 family feel about your relationships with members. The rating you give this area should be an average for all family relationships. While 2 some will be strong, others may not be so good.

8

2

5

wellbeing

business/career

Where do you want to be?

10

spirituality

Next, give yourself a rating in relation to where you want to be in each area of your life in the next 1 - 2 months. Again, use a scale of 0 - 10 and draw a line around the chart, joining the dots where you have marked your rating in each area. Don’t be afraid to dream a little but consider what you can realistically achieve in that time. There’s no need to aim for a perfect 10 in any or every area. partner 10

family

self

finances

Imagine your life with these results

SOCIAL Similarly, 3 this area refers to how you feel about your relationships 4 with friends and your satisfaction with your level of social/fun activity. Again, provide an average rating of your relationships and social activity. WELLBEING This is your overall sense of wellbeing and how you feel about your health & fitness. SPIRITUALITY If you’re a spiritual or religious person, this area refers to your level of connectedness with your beliefs. If you’re not spiritual or religious, think about your level of contentment with life in general.

eg.

6

BUSINESS/CAREER This area considers 7 the level of success and/or fulfilment 5 you feel in relation to your business, career or current employment.

5

social

0

5

FINANCES This 2 final area refers to how you feel about your level of financial freedom and/or your progression 2 3 towards your desired level of financial freedom.

4

wellbeing

business/career 10

spirituality Summer 2011

SELF This is your relationship with yourself. Consider how much love, appreciation, acceptance and respect you have for yourself.

eg.

5

2

3

Use this goal-setting tool over the next three months to achieve your goals and improve your life. Set the dates for your coaching sessions and let’s get started.

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8


Creating your goal Now it’s time to create your goals. To begin with, choose one area of your life that you would like to improve. Say it’s ‘Partner’ and you want to go from a rating of 4 to 8. Using the goal template over the page, create a written goal outlining what that new rating means to you - perhaps it’s about finding a soulmate or re-connecting with your husband.

Every goal that you write should be an emPOWER goal. Think about the emPOWER principles as you go through the process

Wellbeing

It is the 28 2011 and I t h of Fe b ru a ry proud of wh feel so happy and I have reachat I have achieved. of 60kgs an ed my goal weight I am fit, he d I look fantastic. much more althy and have so fit into that energy. Now I can and I feel fasexy black dress bulous.

Write your goal in the present tense, as if you’ve already achieved it. Make it meaningful, including some strong emotions, and make sure your goal is inspiring to you. Use only positive words and be specific – focus on what you do want instead of what you don’t want. Be a little realistic (but not too much) about what you can achieve in the timeframe chosen. Remember, too, your goal needs to be your own, not a goal to change someone else. You can only take responsibility for improving yourself and your life.

Goal 1

Write your goal

Fill in the spaces below to create your first goal. Remember, you’re writing in the present tense and be positive - with the right attitude you’ll get where you want to be much faster. What you want [Date] [Emotion1] [Emotion 2] to achieve It is .............................. and I feel so ................................................... and ....................................................... I/We................................................................................................................................................................................... I/We................................................................................................................................................................................... I/We................................................................................................................................................................................... Now I/We........................................................................................................................................................................... and I feel............................................................................................................................................................................. [Emotion3] Why you want to achieve it

Goal 2

Write your goal

Fill in the spaces below to create your first goal. Remember, you’re writing in the present tense and be positive – with the right attitude you’ll get where you want to be much faster. It is .............................. and I feel so ............................................................. and .............................................................. I/We................................................................................................................................................................................... I/We................................................................................................................................................................................... I/We................................................................................................................................................................................... Now I/We........................................................................................................................................................................... and I feel.............................................................................................................................................................................

Required action: Your only action for the next week is to read your goals every day. Read them out loud and, as you read each one, experience how you will feel when you have achieved what you want. This is called visualisation and is an important step in the goalsetting process – visualise your goals as if you have already achieved them.

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week 2

Making it Happen

Date:

Now that you’ve been reading your goals for a week, consider whether you need to change or add anything to your goals to make them even more meaningful and inspiring. In this session, it’s time to start setting (and doing) the actions necessary to achieve each goal.

Required action: 1. If necessary, add to or change your goals. 2. On the action sheet provided, make a list of the actions you need to take in the next two weeks to get closer to your goals. Remember, these are your goals and you’re responsible for the actions, so be as detailed as you can. 3. Choose a motivational book to read or course to attend to expand your learning. 4. Continue to read and visualise your goals everyday.

Goal 1 Action

Completed

................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. .................................................................................................................................................................................

Goal 2 Action

Completed

................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. ................................................................................................................................................................................. .................................................................................................................................................................................

Summer 2011

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week 4

Date:

Reflect on your goals and actions. Are you achieving what you’d planned to by this time? If you feel that you’ve lost some motivation for achieving your goals, or that you aren’t getting any closer to achieving them, it’s quite normal for people to experience this at some stage during the coaching process. To give you a reminder, and a shot of motivation, do the first action suggested below. Consider your results from the last two weeks. Have you completed all of your actions? If not, what got in your way? What can you do differently to prevent the same outcome in the next two weeks? If you’ve completed all of your actions, perhaps you can now push yourself a little harder.

Required action: 1. Meet with a friend or partner and share your goals with them. Explain to them all the reasons why you want to achieve each goal and how it inspires you. Ask them to hold you accountable. 2. On a new piece of paper, set some new specific actions for each goal over the next two weeks. Remember to challenge yourself. Anything worth achieving may be a little uncomfortable. 3. Continue to read and visualise your goals every day.

week 6

Date:

Hopefully you are well on your way to achieving your goals. If not, you may need to consider adjusting your goal date a little. This is normal and can happen for numerous reasons. You may have underestimated the time it would take, you may have gotten off track, or perhaps you may need to be more strict with yourself in taking actions. Remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes. It is up to you to achieve your goals.

Required action: 1. Adjust your date if necessary. 2. For each goal, make a list of 20 reasons why you want to achieve the goal. Remind yourself of how good you will feel and how life will be different. 3. On a new piece of paper, make a list of the actions you need to take in the next two weeks to get you closer to your goal. Remember to challenge yourself. 4. Decide on one nice thing you are going to buy or do to celebrate achieving your goal. 5. Continue to read and visualise your goal every day.

week 8

Date:

Well done for making it to Week 8 and congratulations if you have achieved any of your goals. If not, don’t lose hope, things sometimes just take longer than initially expected. Either way, it’s important to celebrate how far you have come.

iStockphoto

Required action: 1. Celebrate your success to date. Do something nice or buy yourself your chosen gift. 2. If you have adjusted your goal date, continue to set actions every two weeks and read your goal every day. 3. If you’ve achieved your goal, get ready to set some more goals and start again at Week 1.

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emPOWER Magazine - Summer 2011