the Independent
i n dy e a s t e n d . c o m
Rick’s Space
June 14 2017
also drank wine and smoked, and By Rick Murphy he lived to a ripe old age but he
gave us skim milk aka low fat milk, which looked watery. You have to put half a carton in your coffee before it changes colors.
never did have a masculine child. Maybe it was something in the cream.
RICK’S SPACE
by Rick Murphy
Got Milk? I actually use almond “milk.” Reluctantly. I put it in my oatmeal. Let me point out that I feel about oatmeal the same as I do about almond milk: I don’t like the looks of it but my wife makes me eat it because it is supposedly good for me.
None of them are capable of producing real milk. The spittle we drink may be called “milk” but it ain’t. The whole concept is udderly ridiculous.
When I was little our parents forcefed us milk. It was years later when the truth began to leak out: stories like this one, from The Express in London: “Study shows drinking three glasses of milk a day can lead to earlier death . . .
We’ve all learned the hard way about this kind of thing. I remember when there was a massive advertising campaign urging parents to give their kids three big glasses of milk every day.
Of course, almond milk isn’t really milk. Try baking a cake or like, in my case, corn bread, and you’ll find out for yourselves. Here’s what the folks that make almond “milk” don’t want you to know:
“Milk is a pale liquid produced by the mammary glands of mammals. It is the primary source of nutrition for infant mammals (including humans who breastfeed) before they are able to digest other types of food.” That is the legal definition. Put in terms we can all relate to (since this is the country), think milking a cow as you all surely did many times as kids.
Unless I’m sadly mistaken, almonds have no mammary glands. You cannot milk an almond, no more than you can milk a soybean or a grain of rice.
. . high levels of lactose and galactose found in milk are to blame. These sugars can increase oxidative stress and chronic inflammation in the body – both of which are major causes of a host of killer and chronic diseases.” So let me get this straight: with all the drugs around during the ‘60s, and all the free love, and Vietnam, and drunk drivers, and all the other things that could have killed me, I’m screwed because I drank milk.
Then we had two percent milk, then one percent, and finally zero percent that, when you think about it, probably isn’t milk at all in the technical sense.
When we were kids in Sag Harbor, Vitali Cilli delivered milk from his dairy down at the corner of Glover Street and Long Island Avenue. For years he’d walk in the side door and put a couple of quarts in the icebox. My grandfather got mad once after my aunt Lucy was born; she was Papa’s third daughter and Mr. Cilli made a crack about him not having a son. He was never allowed in the house again. It was an Italian thing but thank God no fish heads showed up in the icebox.
Actually, Cilli kept delivering milk, only he left it outside on the side porch instead.
Each bottle had pure cream floating on the top. The first thing Papa would do is chug some of it. He
There is me, of course, his grandson. Being the masculine guy I am, it annoys me I have almond milk in my oatmeal and eat steamed veggies and live a healthy lifestyle. I blame my sissification on Karen, of course. That is why I announcing today that I intend to get a motorcycle, and I’m not kidding. I want to dress in black leather, wear boots with studs on them, rev up my Harley and channel James Dean and Steve McQueen. In the coming weeks read more about my search for the perfect hog while I master the tough guy biker lingo that goes with it.
And if I want to take a couple shots of the white stuff – the pure stuff – I will, damn it. You’d never know it from the above swill, but Rick Murphy is a sixtime winner of the New York Press Association Best Column Award.
SEASONED PROFESSIONALS
By the way, in the same article it was pointed out “drinking milk does not prevent broken bones,” so put that old wives’ tale to rest.
Let’s not get into all the tablespoons of chocolate syrup and powder we added to the milk when we were kids. Your dentist can tell you more about that. So did we do away with milk? Of course not. The dairy industry is way too powerful. Instead they
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