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INBetween for parents caught in the middle of raising a teen & young adult

YOUR TODAY. their TOMORROW.

APRIL/MAY 2014

Funny Guy

COLIN Mochrie on comedy,

his career, & raising his son

Dropout Dilemma

What to do when your kid quits school

under the knife teens + plastic surgery

BURN FAT FAST with

Extreme Weight Loss’

Heidi Powell

MOM’s Day! your best memories and moments

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things to do for

your health today


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inbetween APRIL/MAY 2014

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INFORM 7 Health NEws 10 taming technology Why you

should come between your kids and their beloved gadgets

14 svelte via screen They can

have their gadgets and get fit, too 16 Kimberly Moffit Expert Q&A 18 dropping their degree

When your kid quits school 22 under construction

cover photo courtesy of TKTKTKT. Bottom left photo courtesyof laura davison

Teens under the knife

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INSPIRE 27 Mom moments INBETWEEN

moms share their most standout mothering memories

32 colin mochrie on surviving his son’s teens and early 20s 36 Step in style Fall in love

with our spring/summer kicks for the whole family

INDULGE 45 9 things to do for your body now Expert tips to fine-

tune your health

50 pampering for two

Rejuvenate your union with a dedicated spa-cation 55 fitness with Extreme Weight

Loss trainer Heidi Powell

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INSPIRE 58 10 minutes with... Golden Girl Olympian, Hayley Wickenheiser

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ONTRIBUTOR

Jordana Handler

Co-Founders and Editors

Rachel Naud Liz Bruckner

Art Director

Caroline Bishop Contributing Editors Jacqueline Kovacs Website Manager Victor Chard

A Toronto-based freelance stylist and writer, Jordana has a background in fashion design, advertising, and copy writing. These eclectic experiences all play a part in her style and creativity. When she is not working onset creating dynamic looks for television, commercials and print, she can be found reading a good book or practicing her favourite yoga pose: downward dog.

Editorial/Social Media Interns Erin Hesselink, Mikaila Kukurudza Business Development Manager Graham Farkas Account Managers Katie Braga E-Publishing Issuu Digital Publishing Services

Contributors Aileen Brabazon, Astrid Van Den Broek, Ryan Francoz, Jordana Handler, Stephanie Joanne, Jacqueline Kovacs, Amy MacLachlan, Kimberly Moffit, Heidi Powell, Janet Sangalang, Peggy Weber Copyright 2014 inBetween Magazine. All rights reserved. All images, unless otherwise noted, are Thinkstock.

No part of this magazine may be reproduced without the written permission of the publisher. The publisher accepts no responsibility for advertiser’s claims, unsolicited manuscripts, transparencies or other materials.

For any questions, submissions or comments, please contact info@inbetween.ca

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jacqueline kovacs

Writing our Taming Technology feature on page 10 reminded Jacqueline Kovacs just how much being a teen has changed. The 40-something mother of two teens and one tween remembers spending hours on the phone and passing notes in class to chat with friends. “My kids can’t imagine being without their smartphones,” she says. “They are constantly texting, watching videos, playing games — they almost never actually phone anyone. I didn’t even own a cellphone till I was in my 40s.”

Astrid Van Den Broek

Astrid Van Den Broek is a Toronto-based writer and a mom of two children who penned How to Improv Your Parenting on page 32. While she was a fairly responsible teen who pretty much lived at school and her local dance studio, she’s confident that her children will never, ever, ever roll their eyes at her once they move into the teen years.


from Liz & Rachel

photo by Ryan Francoz

SPRING IN YOUR STEP Whether you’re a parent or a teen, there’s one thing we can all agree on – growing up is hard to do. Case in point: Coming to terms with your physical appearance. While decades of gazing at the same (albeit, slowly changing) face and body does much to foster acceptance in an adult, for teens and very young adults, sometimes it’s the features we love most – Grandma’s chin, your nose, their father’s eyes – that cause them the most emotional angst. To the point that many are seeking out plastic surgery to “fix” their appearance, avoid bullying, or simply look more like celebs on the big and small screens. Aileen Brabazon investigates the growing trend on page 22 and gets to the heart of the matter. On a lighter note, in this issue we were lucky enough to chat with Canadian funny man, Colin Mochrie. If there’s any parent who knows how important it is to have a sense of humour when raising a teen, it’s him. On page 32, the Whose Line Is It Anyway? star discusses his new book, his foray into the Hollywood comedy scene, and his musings on why the highs and lows of parenting a teen and young adult are akin to life as an improv comedian. On a slightly less amusing note, we think most people would agree that Old Man Winter offered up some of his most bitter showings during these last few months. So to usher in a touch of spring, we present our footwear

feature on page 36. Stylish, family-friendly and spring- and summer-ready, these kicks are ideal for any wardrobe. And with warmer weather on the horizon, we also recruited ABC’s Extreme Weight Loss trainer Heidi Powell to create a completely unique fat-burning workout (see page 55) to get you ready to show some skin. Whether this is your first time reading INBETWEEN or you’ve been with us since the beginning, we’d love to know your thoughts on the magazine. Like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, and write us at Rachel@inbetween.ca or Liz@inbetween.ca. We’d love to hear from you!

email us: info@inbetween.ca inbetween

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inFORM

What you need to know for your today and their tomorrow ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼▲▼ ▲▼▲▼▲

SKIN SAVERS

Need a quick exfoliant fix? Mix two cups of brown sugar with 1/2 cup of olive oil and a 1/4 cup of honey. Not only is the combination a natural way to slough off dead skin cells, the olive oil helps protect skin from the sun while also reviving it with vitamins A and E, and because it’s naturally antibacterial, the honey works to combat acne and breakouts. All that and it brightens and evens skin tone while providing an antioxidant boost. — Erin Hesselink

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Health Briefs

DETOX SMOOTHIE Peace of Mind Parenting Who hasn’t worred about where their kids are, how safe they’re driving and who they are friending on social media? But without secretly stalking their every move, how’s one to know? Meet the MamaBear Family Safety app. The allin-one parenting app, which downloads to smartphones from the iTunes store or Google Play store, lets you know where your child is, what’s on their social media and even tells you when they’ve been speeding. It also allows your kid to send you a Come Get Me or Emergency alert. For more info, visit mamabearapp.com

Find your kids with a click of a button

Sure, they taste great, but smoothies do more than please the palette. Brimming with vitamins, minerals and nutrients, they infuse your body with nutritional benefits while offering serious toxin removal, too. Here’s one we love. 1 cup kale or collard greens firmly packed, stems removed, coarsely chopped (4 oz.) 1 Granny Smith apple, coarsely chopped 1/2 ripe banana 1/2 cup parsley leaves, loosely packed fresh flat-leaf 2-1/4 cups water Combine all ingredients in a blender, and blend until smooth. If the mixture needs to be thinned out, add a little bit of water.

OIL PULLING 101

A new trend within the social media realm, oil pulling is actually an ancient Ayurvedic practice that offers users fresher breath, whiter teeth, fewer cavities, clearer sinuses, better sleep and prevention of gingivitis … and that’s just the beginning. How does it work? The “bad” bacteria in your mouth sticks to the oil, thereby “pulling” it out, leaving your mouth clean and overall health improved. Here’s how to pull off oil pulling: 1. Put a teaspoon of coconut oil in your mouth. 2. Swish it around for 20 minutes. No more, no less. 3. Spit it out (into the garbage or a plastic bag, not down the drain!). – Erin Hesselink inbetween

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TECHNO

Why you should come between yo

by Jacquel

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Teens and Tech

OLOGY

our kids and their beloved gadgets.

line Kovacs

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Teens and Tech

could track my children’s days by gadget use. • Smartphone alarms wake them up and they immediately check how many “likes” they’ve garnered on Instagram. • Breakfast is punctuated by texts or “push feeds” from Twitter. They may squeeze in a little homework on the laptop or chillax with a game on that same smartphone. • Devices of all sorts go to school where, yes, they are used in the curriculum, but I also get “can you pick me up later” texts.

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• After school, it’s a combination of doing homework on the computer, texting friends, playing video games and watching stuff on YouTube. • At bedtime, they often listen to music on their smartphones to fall asleep. This seems like a whole lot of screen time, which, as we parents have all been told, we are supposed to limit. But just how concerned should we be about our tech-addicted teens and what can we do about it?


It’s important to acknowledge that this is, in fact, the way kids communicate now Setting limits “It’s important to acknowledge that this is, in fact, the way kids communicate now,” says Vancouver-based author and parenting expert Kathy Lynn. She points out that when we were teens, our parents thought we were on the phone too much. “On the other hand,” she says, “there is no reason we can’t set limits.” One crucial limit: all devices should be put away at night. And not in your kid’s bedroom, because, as Lynn points out, “they can’t resist a buzzing phone. Kids who won’t wake up in the morning will wake up in the middle of the night if their phone pings.” Sleep disrupter There are health-related reasons for gadget-free bedrooms too. According to doctors at the Mayo Clinic, the light that emanates from smartphones, tablets and laptops tells the body “hey, it’s daytime” which interrupts the release of sleep-inducing melatonin. Plus, the kind of dramatic texting and gameplaying that teenagers typically do actually stimulate the brain rather than calm things down. So it’s a double-whammy sleep killer.

And sleep is crucial for teens — they are growing and learning at a rapid rate and need a solid eight hours of shut-eye every night. Missed manners Another rule Lynn recommends: All devices have to be put away during mealtime or at restaurants. “Otherwise, it’s just bad manners,” she says. And that goes for mom and dad too; you have to model the behaviour you want to see. You also have to make the rules known and get buy-in from your teens. “It’s about setting expectations,” says Lynn. “Sit down and talk to them. And make sure they have other things to do — not just gadget time. A teen could help make dinner, or do yard work or paint a fence.” Back off Once they’ve bought in — for instance, not including actual homework time, your teen gets two hours of screen time and has to hand all devices over an hour before bed — let them be. Hand over the smartphone or tablet and set the timer. “At that point, just leave them alone and let them enjoy it.” That way everyone can stick to their limits. ■

screen sickness

Remember being told as a kid to mind your posture? Well that’s doubly important for today’s teens whose gadget addictions are leading to some high-tech ailments. Recognize any of these? Tech neck About 84 per cent of young adults aged 18 to 24 complained about neck and back pain in the last year. And some estimate that more than a trillion texts were sent that same year. Solution? Hold that little screen up rather than slouching your head down to look at it. Crackberry thumb Yes, you can get tendinitis in your text-crazed thumbs. Solution? Massage your thumb, and try these exercises: gently stretch your thumb toward your forearm; tap each finger to your thumb five times. Or give up texting for a couple of days to rest your thumbs. Sperm stoppage Does your teen keep his laptop on his lap? He could be messing up his sperm production. The heat from the laptop warms the testes, which in turn halts the creation of sperm. And the effects can last months. Solution? Put the laptop on a table. Easy peasy. inbetween

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SveltE via Screen

Teens and young adults are texting and gaming their spare time away. The good news? They can have their gadgets and get fit, too. by Stephanie Joanne

Between TVs, phones and tablets, it’s more likely that you’ll find your kid lazing about than working out. But if the thought of prying gadgets from his hands to encourage him to get active is too overwhelming, know this: These devices can actually get your sedentary offspring moving. Here’s how.

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Gaming If you’re trying to transition your couch potato to a healthy, active lifestyle, video game consoles that incorporate movement can help. Though they aren’t exactly cheap, fitness-focused Nintendo Wii or Xbox Kinect games can encourage your child to get moving in a way that doesn’t force them out of their comfort zone. And because they’re still at home “playing,” the consoles remove the intimidation that comes with working out for the first time. The fact that they’ll

get a glimpse of how fun fitness can be is a bonus. Go Online If you’re looking for something a little easier on your wallet, check out YouTube. Instructional workouts are plentiful and feature workouts from yoga to cardio. Just keep in mind that, as with most things on the Internet, it’s a good idea to use caution. Do your research and try to choose


Fitness for Teens

and follow reputable fitness sources rather than someone who is trying out something new in their living room. Get a Free App It’s a given that kids are experts at downloading apps, so encourage them to download something that will get them moving. Endomondo tracks its users’ physical activity — think running, biking, walking, etc. — and then announces their

results to social media platforms. After they’ve been active, your kids can connect with friends online (and we all know how much they love doing that), so not only will they be living a more active lifestyle, they’ll be joining a network of likeminded peers that will motivate and encourage them. Back to Basics A pedometer may seem oldschool in comparison to modern

devices that can do everything from planning your meals and tracking your sleep cycle (really, they can), but they’re still a great way to bolster motivation. Get competitive and have everyone in the house strap one on to keep track of their steps. Up the ante and challenge your family to a contest: first one to log 10,000 steps gets a small prize or pass on weekly chores. Keep things light and fun, and so will your kids! ■ inbetween

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ASK THE EXPERT with Kimberly Moffit Q.

motivate her to defy your rules. Your primary aim should be for her to learn and understand the real risks involved with sex — teenage pregnancy, STIs and the emotional ups and downs that intimacy brings. The first step to initiating discussions around sex is allowing your daughter to be open and honest with you The topic of sex can be without judgement. Talk to her difficult to bring up at any age, — about life, love, her friends but that doesn’t mean it needs to — before asking about the conbe awkward or uncomfortable, or doms. Ask her if she’s seeing that you should avoid it. anyone special. Providing a safe, First and foremost, don’t open and honest place for her to make assumptions about what discuss her feelings without your the condoms mean. She may not judgement is really the only way have a boyfriend; she might just you can expect her to trust you have them to ‘be prepared’ or by letting you into her world. ■ because she’s thinking about it. What not to say: “I found a box of condoms in your room — don’t even think about having sex. You’re grounded!” This won’t have the impact you’re looking Have a question for. In fact, it may just drive for kimberly? info@inbetween.ca her further away from you and

I was cleaning my daughter’s room the other day and found a box of condoms. I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend! How do I broach the subject of sex with her? Kimberly Moffit is a relationship expert who provides practical advice for families and psychological topics. She is a regular speaker for Queen’s University’s MBA and Women in Leadership Programs, a frequent lecturer at the University of Waterloo, and makes regular appearances on CTV’s Canada AM, CBC’s The National, City TV News and the Global TV’s Morning Show.

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A.

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Ask the Expert

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Their degree What to do when your kid drops out of school. by Amy MacLachlan

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degree

Teens and What ToTech Do...

The path to a career isn’t always clear cut. Jumping into university right after high school seems like a good idea... until it isn’t. Here’s how to help your post-secondary student get back on track.

14 per cent of first-year university students drop out, while a recent article in The Telegraph reporting on universities in the UK said about one in 15 or 6.7 per cent of first-year students dropped out last year.

Student Support After investing thousands of So what’s a parent to do? Vancoudollars and three years of his life ver-based parenting expert Kathy toward an Education degree, with Lynn says supporting your child’s the finish line in sight, Winnipeg’s decision is the first step. “Some kids Harrison Brown dropped out. need a break when they finish high “It turns out I wanted something school. Some are older and more different,” he says. Even harder than mature than others, some are ready deciding to drop out? Brown was to leave home, but some are not. faced with another difficult task — You need to respect your child and telling Mom. Thankfully for Brown, where they’re at.” she was supportive of his decision You also need to breathe. “Don’t to switch career plans. freak out,” said Lynn. “There’s “It’s a huge decision for kids, and the tendency to think, ‘you went for parents, too,” Carol Brown says. through all of this, you were accept“After all, not every student at age ed’, and so on. But if it’s wrong, it’s 18 is going to have a life goal. I told wrong. Listen to them and respect Harrison he had to pick a career and their decision.” get a post-secondary education. He Next, get to the root of the problem. had to figure out what his interests “They need to be clear on the reasons were and what his strengths are.” behind their decision. Look at them And, after doing some research and and say something like, ‘talk to me even sitting in on a class or two, about why you’re doing this.’” Somehe decided to enroll in a two-year thing else to bear in mind? “You’re college I.T. program starting this fall. not doing your kid any favours by letBrown is far from alone. Statistics ting them hang around the house for Canada reported in 2009 that about a year, drinking beer on the couch inbetween

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What To Do...

“They need to apply to a trade school, get a job, volunteer — something. They need to have a plan. They’re adults; they can’t just hang around.” and getting their laundry done by Mom,” Lynn states. “They need to apply to a trade school, get a job, volunteer — something. They need to have a plan. They’re adults; they can’t just hang around.”

Jennifer Powell, student recruitment officer at Winnipeg’s Red River College, says the school serves up a variety of supportive options to help students choose what program is best for them. For instance, Red River College’s Finding their way counseling department offers caLuckily there are many options reer explanation and exploration, for forging ahead — and parents which is also available through can help their son or daughter fig- an online tool kit. “There’s also ure out what fits best. “One thing academic advising, which is good we can do is set up informational for students who have narrowed interviews for them with friends in things down to a couple of opdifferent kinds of jobs,” says Lynn. tions,” she says. Prospective stu“Most senior-level people will give dents can also take campus tours, a young person a 10-minute infor- where they might see something mational interview with no issue, they want to investigate further. and these can be very helpful.” “There are so many kids who Looking to college is also smart, don’t know what they want to do,” as they offer innovative programs, Powell says, “so it’s about getting a shorter time commitment, small- them engaged in the exploration er class sizes, creative, hands-on process, learning about themlearning, and internships — ultiselves, and taking advantage of mately offering students the prac- the information out there.” tical experience many employers Another route to consider is an want. Some also offer support apprenticeship. The Ontario Maservices for prospective students sonry Training Centre, for example, to help them determine what offers in-school apprenticeship interests them — free of charge — training for the masonry indusbefore even applying. try. They teach and certify highly

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skilled workers who are trained in quality, productivity and safety. Since fewer students today are opting to learn a trade, demand for quality workers is high, leading to many job opportunities. “You have to enjoy hard work, be able to problem-solve, and being able to accept criticism of the work you do is also a plus,” says lead instructor Mario De Nicola. “But satisfaction comes with creating and building something that is tangible. Your work isn’t lost in a database. It’s a great source of pride.” His advice for parents: “You can’t push a profession on your child. You need to know your child and their strengths and weaknesses. If you see that there’s an area they’re leaning toward, try to encourage them to try it and see if there’s any interest before they commit.” Carol Brown couldn’t agree more. “Have them take courses here and there and try to figure out what they want to do so it’s not a waste of time and money. Because ultimately, university is not an inexpensive venture.” ■


It’s Like a Pillow for Your Feet

• Instant Comfort • Contours to Your Feet • Ultra Soft

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UNDER CONSTRUCTI

plast surg

It’s a fact: The number of teens and young adults opting to go under the knife is on the rise. Here’s why. by Aileen Brabazon There are probably a slew of

things on your teen’s must-have list: A souped-up cellphone and an unlimited plan, later curfew, larger allowance and trendy clothes among them. But what if their gotta-have list also includes a nose job or breast implants? For a growing number of teens and young adults, that’s exactly the case. According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, teen cosmetic procedures went up two per cent from 2011 to 2012. While there are no precise Canadian stats, the experts we talked to said their patient population definitely includes more youth. “In the last five years in my practice, it’s gone up probably by 25 per cent,” says Dr. Peter Bray, a plastic and cosmetic surgeon in Toronto. What gives? If you saw the Dateline NBC segment about a bullied

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15-year-old girl who got a pro bono nose job and chin implant — the video went viral after it aired in January — you might assume that merciless name-calling is driving more teens under the knife. But that’s not quite the case. It’s true that teasing is and has always been part of the landscape of facial and body differences, but that alone isn’t why the majority of teens seek change. “The most common thing that they tell me is that they want to increase their self-confidence — that they feel conscious about something they can’t change otherwise,” says Dr. Jamil Asaria, a Toronto-based facial plastic surgeon. The Internet has influence, too. With the popularity of image-dominated social media sites Instagram, Twitter and Facebook,


Plastic Surgery

TION tic gery

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Plastic Surgery

teens are seeing a lot more of each other and that has increased the value of appearance — they’re more aware of their looks than ever before. Plus, as Dr. Bray points out, “now teens who may be self-conscious can quietly and anonymously research online to see what some of the options are [and decide if they really want to pursue them]. In the past, they would’ve been shuffled into the doctor, usually with their parent.”

The price of plastic surgery When and if you consider cosmetic procedures for your teen, remember that you’ll have to shell out a lot of coin. Here are price tags for the top treatments, according to Dr. Bray: Rhinoplasty (nose job): $5,000-$8,000 Otoplasty (ear pinning): $3,000-$5,000 Breast reduction (for girls and guys): $5,000-$8,000 Breast asymmetry: $5,000-$8,000

want to be sure that young Suzie or Steve is emotionally mature with a good head on their shoulders, is socially well-adjusted, performing well at school and The most desirable has family support. It’s also vital treatments that they want the change strictly What do surgery-seeking teens for themselves and that they covet? You may be relieved to have realistic expectations of the know that boob jobs and liposuc- surgery’s outcome. For example, tion aren’t on the most-popular it’s reasonable to assume that list. “The top procedures for a more petite nose will make a teen plastic surgery is rhinoplas- teen feel less self-conscious, but ty [nose jobs] and otoplasty [ear unreasonable to expect that it’ll pinning],” says Dr. Asaria. Breast have the power to solve teasing reduction (for both boys and for good or get them more dates. girls) and breast asymmetry and Age matters, too. Before going birthmark or mole treatments are ahead with surgery, the body has also in demand, says Dr. Bray. to reach maturation. “In the case of rhinoplasty, at about 16 for Fit for a fix-it? females and 17 for males the vast Before any scalpels or injections majority of growth of their nose come into play, surgeons have is done, so they’re stable to have serious tête-à-têtes with teens it operated on without it changto determine if they’re suitable ing more,” says Dr. Asaria. candidates for a treatment. They

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The good and the bad Correcting an out-of-proportion feature with plastic surgery can really make a teen feel good. “It can be liberating,” says Dr. Bray. “It can allow more comfort in doing certain activities and it can give self-esteem a nice boost.” But there’s some pain before the gain — after all, it’s surgery we’re talking about. And as with any medical procedure there are some risks, albeit minor ones, involved. “Complications and risks are extremely rare. Depending on the circumstances, there might also be scarring, and we talk about all of that in advance,” he says. Decisions, decisions Most teens are very self-conscious and particularly vulnerable to wanting to change their facial features, says Sara Dimerman, a psychologist and author in Thorn-


hill, Ont. But that doesn’t mean that every 16-year-old who pleads for a nose job should get one. So, as a parent, how do you decide whether or not to support a cry out for surgery? “If you are objectively able to see that your child’s face is symmetrically balanced and there are no features that stand out as being overly dominant or overly recessive, then it’s wiser to let this phase pass without considering any intervention,” she says. But if your sweetheart has an atypical feature, then take the issue more to heart. “Often the request is a result of how the teen feels about themselves — that he is different in some way,” she says. In those cases it’s worth investigating corrective procedures that may help your child feel like they blend in better with the crowd.

Plumper Pouts Non-invasive treatments, including fillers, are also popular amongst the teen and early adult sect. Dr. Earl Minuk, dermatologist and owner of Winnipeg-based Dr. Earl Minuk’s SkinClinic & Laser Centre (minuklasercentre.com), says he’s experienced an influx of young adults looking for lip enhancements in recent years. “They come in with pictures of lips they like, or simply want to emulate their favourite stars,” he says, adding that he refuses to give patients gigantic puckers à la The First Wives Club. “Most just want a little enhancement for a fuller, poutier lip.” Dr. Minuk says the Mini-Lip treatment ($295+) is one of his most popular procedures with this demographic, both for its long-lasting results and minimal cost. For this treatment, he cites a new lip filler called Juverderm Volbella as a new, exciting development, because it’s made from hyaluronic acid, lasts longer than traditional injectables (up to eight months), and feels very natural.

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Botox is another common request, but not for typical reasons. Instead of utilizing it as a wrinkle-fighter, teens and young adults are using it to treat excessive sweating. “It’s particularly helpful for kids who are incapacitated by underarm sweating,” says Dr. Minuk. “They have to wear dark colours, shower twice a day, change their clothes regularly, and worry about occasional odour, which can really affect their self-esteem and turn these kids into social introverts. This procedure is life-altering for them.”

Would you support your teen’s decision to get plastic surgery? facebook.com/ inbetweenmagazine

It can also help tech-savvy students who suffer from excessively sweaty palms cope better with everyday tasks, such as using their digital devices that require dry hands to function properly. Results last an average of six to seven months, and the procedure, which is medical in nature, can in part be covered by some third-party insurance plans or provincial health plans. — Rachel Naud ■ inbetween

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inSPIRE living your best life

▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼▲▼ ▲▼▲▼▲

MOM moments INBETWEEN moms share their most standout mothering memories

photos courtesy of Laura davison, lisa davison, elisa canetti, andrea claire, kate young, sierra negri, caroline bishop, felisha & heidi

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Most memorable M

An absolutely gorg of flowers with all t flowers I love from – Stepha

**

It is always the gift the kids doing someth flowers must be part Last year it was kayak – Lorn

Most memorable Mother’s Day gift:

I always had such good Mother’s Days!! The most recent one that I loved was three years ago when my sons took me hiking. The weather was so beautiful and summery, and though my girls were far away, my boys spent the whole day with me. Loved it! – Joyce D.

Describe your perfect mother’s day:

That’s easy — camping with all of my kids and husband. No cellphones, no telephones, no TV, no Internet. Just us together, sitting around a fire making s’more pie irons, playing with sparklers! – Heidi P.

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Mother’s Day gift:

Mother’s Day

geous bouquet the colours and my teenage son. anie J.

**

t of time...time with hing together...and t of the equation! king and pink roses. na T.

Most memorable Mother’s Day gift:

My son! He was born on April 29. My family wanted to see my darling child, so they had a big Mother’s Day pancake breakfast so everyone could come and meet him. It was the best gift anybody could have given me! The first time my family met my baby, and being able to show him off as such a lovely newborn. – Ann B.

Most memorable Mother’s Day gift:

A cleaning service came and cleaned my entire house one year. That was awesome! – Rhea F. *** A card that each of my kids wrote on and then coasters that they had made with pictures of themselves that they had each picked out! I still have them! – Gracia F.

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Describe your perfect mother’s day:

Being with my kids. Having a big breakfast together, then going out to enjoy the outdoors making new memories! I think the thing with kids is that you really want them to stay little forever, but then you come to grips with the realization that that is just not going to happen, and instead you enjoy watching them grow and seeing how they are changing. It’s a lot of work, but it’s definitely worth it. – Erin M.

Most memorable mom moment:

Describe you mother’

It’s hard to pick just one. I would say it was both of my kids’ first day of school. Four years apart ... both waved and said ‘See you later, Mom!’ without so much as glancing back. It would have been nice for them to be a little sad, but I was proud that they were both so independent. – Chantal G.

One year we did a “g our house with these and each person mad This allowed for lots o laughs and ultim great memories. Th announced she was Talk about a c – Anita

Describe your perfect mother’s day:

Hanging out with my kids; it doesn’t matter what we do as long as we are together and having fun! And maybe breakfast in bed or a nice dinner that I don’t have to cook! – Trish B. ***

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Spending it with my family, of course, but not picky on where. And if the kids do their chores without being asked, that would be perfect, lol. – Jolene R.


Mother’s Day

ur perfect ’s day:

Describe your perfect mother’s day:

gourmet” dinner at e little frying pans de their own stir-fry. of conversation and mately a ton of hen our daughter expecting a baby! celebration! a H.

There’s no better way than with the one I love… My daughter saved my life and made me realize the meaning of true, unconditional love. As long as she’s with me, that’s a perfect day every day… even if I want to lock her in a closet sometimes. – Felisha E.

Most memorable mom moment:

This year, when my eldest daughter gave me her graduation rose and told me that she would not be where she was without me and thanked me for everything I had done for her! I’m a lucky mom. – Julie B.

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How to

Colin Mochrie

Improv Your

Parenting Whose Line Is It Anyway? star Colin Mochrie survived his son’s teen years and early 20s with – no surprise – his great sense of humour intact. Here, how he got out (mostly) unscathed. by Astrid Van Den Broek

Colin Mochrie can attest, the art of improv has two rules critical to a successful bit: listening and accepting someone’s idea and building on it. The way he sees it, these two laws also fully apply to the art of parenting. “As a parent, the listening part is very important,” says the Toronto-based improvisational actor. “As is learning to accept things and being open to something you may not think is something you’re ready for or willing to do. But then you find that it takes you into an area that’s open and free and good for everybody.”

Those are just a few of the learnings Mochrie and wife, fellow actress and comedian Debra McGrath, have taken away from raising their son, 24-year-old, Luke. And while Mochrie’s job as a parent is far from over, here he shares his thoughts on raising a teen and young adult, and what he’s looking forward to in the next stage of parenting and his career.

Juggling improv with parenting As the 56-year-old star of Whose Line Is It Anyway? notes, life as an actor and improv inbetween

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Colin Mochrie

comedian has gifted Mochrie with a more flexible time schedule which he, in turn, applied to his family life and his role as a dedicated father. “With my job, I have as much free time as I do work time ­— Whose Line, for example, only took three weekends out of the year to tape, so for those I’d take Deb and Luke along and we would have the rest of the week to do whatever,” says Mochrie, who has also starred in shows such as The Ron James Show, Call Me Fitz and This Hour Has 22 Minutes. “Whenever I can, I bring them with me. We have a nice family dynamic; we really get along well and try to spend as much time together as we can. We still have family game nights, although Luke is 24 so I don’t know how much longer that’s going to last.” The thing is, as with an entertainment career, benefits such as being close with your family don’t come without doing the work beforehand. “We made sure to tell him every day that we loved him and supported whatever he did,” says Mochrie. “And we tried to figure out different ways to keep communication open because just sitting kids down and asking questions, quite often, especially in the teenage years — they can just shut down and shut you out. We always

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I loved when he started to be able to put arguments together and fight for things answered a question no matter how uncomfortable it made us or difficult it was.” That included the time when Luke, then eight years old, sat down at the dinner table and asked his parents: “What’s fellatio?”

no laughing matter Keeping the lines open was imperative for the teen years, a time when Mochrie saw Luke go through the often-braced-for-rebellion stage, as well as struggle with a learning disorder that wasn’t diagnosed until later in his school years. Mochrie looks back on these as relatively easy to manage. Not so easy? “Heartbreak. In the teenage years, the hardest thing was when he’d fall in love,” he says. “Getting his heart broken was difficult because it’s one of those situations where you can’t really do anything except share your experiences. You can’t just say walk it off. It was tough seeing him affected by something we couldn’t help him with.” One of the surprising upsides for Mochrie when parenting a teen was relishing watching his son grow

into an adult. “I always wanted to be a father, but I thought once they were past five they’d be less cute,” he says. “But I found every age has different challenges and was exciting, and I loved when he started to be able to put arguments together and fight for things.”

Letting go What also offered up that combination of excitement and heartbreak for Mochrie and McGrath was Luke’s acceptance at 17-years-old into a four-year program at New York’s Film Academy, taking him away from his Toronto-based family home. While clearly happy for his son and this new stage in his life, it made for some significant adjustments at home — particularly when Luke was home. “We’d try to go down to New York as often as we could and we Skyped all the time, but we weren’t in his day-to-day life. So the hardest transition for us was letting go,” he says. “When he would come home, we would be worried about if he’d go out, where is he and when is he getting home? Yet in New York, we never


shoe Photo: Patrick Wymore /The CW © 2013 The CW Network, LLC. All Rights Reserved

knew what he was doing or where he was. You never let go of that. But you have to because otherwise they never grow up.”

Consistent career Today, Mochrie, who these days is busy still with Whose Line tapings, promoting his recent book, Not Quite the Classics (it’s an improv-inspired collection of wellknown stories which Mochrie improvisationally writes the middles of) and touring with fellow comedian Brad Sherwood, looks back at his parenting career and sees that for he and McGrath, it came down to two rules they had set. “The main rule was that there was consistency. We’d both want the same thing or we’d both discipline or reward in the same way so we were never against each other in how we dealt with whatever Luke was going through,” he says. “And again, communication — lots and lots of talking.” Yes, and...learn from your mistakes He also encourages parents of teens and young adults to cut themselves a bit of slack. “We made mistakes as parents in different areas. And that’s OK as long as you recognize it,” he says. “There

(top) Aisha Tyler and Colin Mochrie on Whose Line Is It Anyway?; (right) Colin’s new book, Not Quite the Classics from Viking Canada

are things I look back at now and wonder — oh why did I do that? But we’re only human and doing the best we can.” Part of doing his best also meant relying on another improv-comic tested rule of acting: using “Yes, and” to set up and be open to an idea. It’s a rule he and McGrath have used quite a bit in their life as well. “We’ve tried applying improv rules to our life including the ‘Yes, and’ rule where you say yes to things,” he says. “It might be to things you’re not comfortable with — like, in my case, writing a book — and it’s scary, so yes, and let’s see where it takes me.” Not only has the rule opened career doors, but introduced them to new life experiences as well — such as a trip to the Congo via the charitable organization World Vision to film some promotional commercials. “We said yes to it and

it was one of the best experiences of our lives. Going into the jungle and seeing these small villages and doing commercials for sponsorship for children — it was just amazing. We went right after Christmas, so to go from North American excess to these villages where they had nothing.... They were a joyous people and it was just amazing. It was probably two of the best weeks we’d ever spent together.” How about yes-anding as a parent? “You have to say yes sometimes, I think. For anyone, you keep saying no and after awhile they just shut you out,” he says. “That said, as a parent, ‘no’ is an important word in your arsenal!” ■ inbetween

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style how-tos: • Don’t be afraid to mix

a cute day dress with a pair of casual sneakers, or to go sans socks to achieve a sporty, laid-back look. • If you pair these shoes with pants, try a tapered

style to really highlight the design, colour and craftsmanship.

• For some newfangled fun, pair bright laces

with an already colourful pair of sneakers. Attention grabber!

STEP IN STYLE The quickest, most stylish way to get out the door this spring? Say hello to our visual cornucopia for shoe lovers everywhere. photography: Ryan Francoz • styling and text: Jordana Handler

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Spring Shoes

(left to right) Converse Chuck Taylor, $60, thebay.com, Mossimo pink Layla shoes, $19, target.ca

Keep it casual

A casual sneaker-style shoe is a great way to look cool without compromising comfort. Fun patterns and wild shades give these variations a great fashion-forward seasonal push. inbetween

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style how-tos: • Build an outfit around your sneakers. Mix a pair of basic black bottoms with a shirt that has similar colours to those in your shoes. It’ll create a pulled together look that doesn’t sacrifice style for comfort. • If you choose a mostly neutral sneaker, look for one with colourful details or a small pattern to keep them fresh and fashion-forward. • Not all shoes are created equal, and it can be hard to know if a sneaker will match your lifestyle by style alone. Read the informational tag before you buy, and when in doubt, ask a fitting expert for tips.

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Spring Shoes

GET OUTSIDE!

Winter is finally over and it’s time to get outside. Hiking, walking and biking are great ways to log some family time, and this season’s cool kicks make it easy to get active in style. (left to right) Skechers Flex Appeal Next Generation, $72, skechers.com.; Call it Spring Lentiscosa Runners, $40, callitspring.com/canada; Black Boxfresh 25th anniversary edition high-top sneakers Swich Katashi 25, $150, available at Browns, Town Shoes and boxfresh.com

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style how-tos: • If you opt for a traditional dock shoe,

roll up your pant cuffs and fully embrace the nautical feel of this footwear. • No time to change shoes between work and play? Loafers work

perfectly at adding an air of effortless cool to any ensemble – especially when paired with a dress or skirt. • Don’t shy away from bold colours! Spring is all about being vibrant, so think outside the box and go for big prints and bright hues.

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Spring Shoes

Slide into Spring Get ready to fall in love with slip-ons. Whether you prefer a modern loafer or a more traditional dock shoe, this preppy style is perfect for many an occasion.

(left to right) JShoe Ivy, $200, available at Heel Boy, Lavish & Squalor and jshoes.com; Gap striped canvas shoe, $40, gapcanada.ca; Sperry in pink ombre, $100, thebay.com; Mossimo for Target slip-on shoes, $25, target.ca

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style how-tos: • Pair a brightly coloured boot with

a solid legging to add versatility to your outfit and showcase your personality.

Spring Shoes

• Mix your prints!

Polka dots combined with leopard prints make for an unexpected style duo amidst grey clouds. • Don’t forget to accessorize. Grab a fun

umbrella in a print or colour that matches with your puddle stompers to tie your rainy-day look together.

SPRING SHOWERS It’s easier than ever to look good while staying dry. These rain boots will keep you looking chic — even in a downpour.

(left to right) Joe Fresh striped rain boot, $29, joefresh.com; GFB polka dot rain boots, $30, target.ca

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inDULGE

Fostering your health, body and relationship ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼ ▲▼▲▼ ▲▼▲▼▲

It’s safe to say that when it comes to family, moms rank low (if not last) on the list. While we take the time to ensure everyone on our watch is fed, exercised, rested and happy, we more often than not overlook ourselves in the process. This tendency to self-neglect not only takes a toll on our health, but it’s stressing us out. In fact, according to a recent study done at Israel’s Bar-Ilan University, the average mother spends a whopping 25 per cent of her time stressed, which trickles down into other areas of life, including health. The fix: Turning more of the focus on you. Taking care of your body — inside and out — not only crafts a better you, but a better parent, spouse and friend in the process. Here are the small changes that help advance the transformation.

things to do for your body today Even with regular workouts and attempts to eat right, there’s always room for improvement when it comes to health. These expert tips show you how to fine-tune yours. by Peggy Weber

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1

Your Health

1. Get more sleep. According to Nicole Penton, a registered dietician from St. John’s, Nfld., more is more when it comes to sleep. “Late nights are common in this stage of life and not getting enough sleep has been linked to numerous health conditions,” she says. “What’s more, we know lack of sleep exacerbates stress — it makes you irritable and anxious, decreasing your ability to fight infection and impairs your ability to concentrate — and is also linked to weight gain.” The fix: Reserve the bedroom for sleep and intimacy. Meditation, deep breathing and yoga are all good tools to help wind down for sleep.

two

Enjoy quiet time. Yes, your kids have long since grown out of the completely dependent stage, but chances are your evenings and weekends are still pretty hectic. “For destressing, I am a huge fan of the living mindfully principle,” says says Dr. Tracey Beaulne, a Toronto-based naturopathic doctor. “Focus on what you can and just leave the rest.” The fix: As little as 10 minutes can make a huge difference in your mood. Whether you choose to go for a walk, read a chapter in a book or hide in the washroom after dinner, finding a few minutes to be alone is crucial.

Lower your expectations. Dr. Heather Roelfsema, a family physician in Grimsby, Ont., says one of the biggest health mistakes women make is expecting too much of themselves. “As parents and working moms, we do our fair share of juggling, which leaves us chronically tired and frustrated,” she says. “It also creates feelings of failure as it is nearly impossible to feel like you’ve given your best and met your own expectations in either domain when there’s time pressure on both.” The fix: Stop being so hard on yourself. We are all ‘good enough parents’, says Dr. Beaulne. Set realistic goals for yourself and make sure you have support to follow through.

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4. Get tested. We all dread the necessary pap smears, mammograms and cancer screenings, but as Dr. Roelfsema points out, preventive measures can only benefit long-term health. “Women often fail to take advantage of recommended evidencebased screening, and are using pills to fix issues that could be ameliorated with lifestyle changes.” She adds that avoidance boils down to a few factors: fear of what might be uncovered, time constraints, poor access to resources, and a lacking awareness of the importance of illness prevention and health promotion. The fix: Talk to your doctor about the tests you should be undergoing and pre-book them while you’re in the office.

Load up on iron. It’s a well-documented fact that most women fall short when it comes to getting enough iron, says Penton. The average woman needs 20-30 grams of the mineral with each meal, and doses are best absorbed when consumed with meat, poultry and fish. The fix: “Include a good source of protein such as poultry, fish or meat at each meal and with your snacks,” says Penton. “Aim to have one gram of protein each day with about five to 10 grams at snack times.” Dr. Beaulne suggests looking at your hand to judge how much you need. “Look at your palm and aim for a similar size of protein three times a day, and keep in mind that you should only take an iron supplement if you’ve been told you have low iron stores or anemia,” she says. For non meat-eaters, Dr. Beaulne recommends consuming beans, lentils and dark green leafy vegetables, and foods rich in vitamin C to enhance absorption.

6. Pay attention to your eyes. It doesn’t happen overnight, but with time and age, vision can take a hit, particularly during your 50s. “We tend to forget about our eyes and once we start noticing problems it can be too late,” says Penton. Making matters worse, poor vision can also indicate more serious problems, such as macular degeneration The fix: Eating a diet rich in antioxidants can help protect your eyes, but in particular, focus on lutein, the yellow pigment in fruits and veggies. Kale offers the most, says Dr. Beaulne, but all green leafy vegetables — think collards, spinach, chard, turnip greens and broccoli — carry lutein. inbetween

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Your Health

seven

Listen to your body below the belt. It’s common practice for women to shrug off aches and discomfort, but it’s hugely important to pay attention to genital pain, says Lori Brotto, a division head of gynaecologic specialties, department of obstetrics and gynaecology at the University of British Columbia. “Many women discount discomfort and assume dryness or some other factor is to blame when, in some cases, it can be a diagnosable pain condition called Provoked Vestibulodynia,” she says. “It is characterized by severe pain and burning at the opening of the vagina. In our research, we find that most women suffer for three to five years before an accurate diagnosis is made.” The fix: Schedule an annual pap smear and see your doctor if you have any concerns between visits. What’s more, consider keeping a list of any health concerns on your phone or in a notepad so they’re handy during check-ups.

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8. Take fibre, vitamin D and calcium. “Fibre can be your best friend,” says Penton. “It helps you feel fuller, longer, so it’s important to eat whole grain cereals, breads, pastas and fruits and veggies every day. It can also help lower cholesterol and regulate blood sugars.” Calcium is also integral in all stages of adulthood as estrogen, which is essential for bone health, begins its decline leading up to and during menopause. The fix: Aim to eat 25 grams of fibre daily, says Dr. Beaulne. Also, make sure to take at least 1,000 mg of calcium a day, and always add a vitamin D supplement with calcium as it helps the body absorb this mineral, boosts your immune system and may aid in preventing certain cancers.

Make brain health important. “We all know staying physically active is essential for health, but exercising the brain and staying mentally active are just as important,” says Penton. The fix: The key to brain health is stress relief, says Dr. Beaulne. “Stress causes tunnel vision, making it harder to remember things, make good decisions and problem solve, so spending even 20 minutes in nature or outside can do wonders.” Focusing on including ‘brain foods’ in your diet can also help. Berries — particularly blueberries — help protect the brain from oxidative stress, omega 3-rich wild salmon offers anti-inflammatory properties, and all nuts and seeds are rich in essential fatty acids, are good sources of soluble fibre, phytosterols, vitamin E, B vitamins and are high in magnesium. ■


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The Ancient Cedars Spa in the Wickaninnish Inn

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Couples Getaway

for two

Tired of the same old relationship routine? Rejuvenate your union with a dedicated spa-cation by Rachel Naud

courtesy of wickaninnish inn

Being with the same person for

a long stretch of time can sometimes be more functional than fun. Instead of seeing your partner as an individual, they’re reduced to a ‘did you?,’ meaning, ‘did you pick up the kids?’, ‘did you do the laundry?’, etc. “We all need novelty to not be bored and keep our attraction and arousal to our partner,” says Ashley Howe, couple and family therapist and owner/creator of The Spa Date. “A spa-cation is a great opportunity

to see your partner at their best, in a relaxed state, talking about different topics — not just the function of home life. Even just a day spent together will feel like you’ve been gone for three,” she says. And for those husbands who shy away from all things requiring a robe and cucumber water, Howe suggests the best thing to do is just book it. “Just say, ‘we have a couples’ massage at two on Saturday and the kids are already taken care of,” she says. inbetween

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Couples getaway

“I don’t know many spouses who would say ‘no’ to that. If you have it all set up and they just need to show up, it makes it much easier.” To experience the best in relaxation and pampering, save yourself the legwork and consider these must-try spas from coast to coast:

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The Ancient Cedars Spa in the Wickaninnish Inn where: Tofino, BC wHY: The Ancient Cedars Spa is truly a natural choice. Nestled in the heart of scenic and adventurous Tofino, the spa is sheltered by the forest fringe and looks out to the open Pacific. It also serves up some serious intimacy with its doubletreatment rooms and its amazing co-ed Sea Cave Steam room — the perfect place for pre and/or post relaxation. The Wickaninnish Inn itself is an incredibly romantic destination with guest rooms that feature double soaker tubs with ocean and beach views, fireplaces and individual balconies all complimented by two excellent restaurants. Must-try treatment: The Hot Stone Massage For more info: wickinn.com/spa-rates Spa at Four Seasons Hotel where: Toronto wHY: Located in the heart of Yorkville, one of the city’s most affluent areas, Four


opposite page, courtesy of wickaninnish inn. This page, courtesy of Four seasons hotel toronto

Couples Getaway

(left) The Ancient Cedars Spa in the Wickaninnish Inn, Tofino; (top and right) Spa at Four Seasons Hotel Toronto

Seasons Hotel Toronto often doubles as a lookout spot for film festival-going celebs. But that’s not the only reason this property has major star quality. The Spa, which is the largest in Toronto at 30,000 sq. ft., offers 17 spacious treatment rooms, two steam rooms, and a salon with hair, manicure and pedicure stations. Must-try treatment: Massages for Two. Feel close to your sweetie in this 60-to 90-minute treatment done on side-by-side massage tables, in your own exquisite private suite par deux. For more info: fourseasons. com/toronto/spa

The Spa 654 Club where: Fredericton, NB wHY: This spa not only specializes in relaxation, it also offers medi-spa treatments, including Botox, chemical peels and laser fractional resurfacing.

Must-try treatment: The Couples Ultimate Package, which includes a blissful sideby-side one-hour hot stone massage and supreme facial. For more info: thespaclubfredericton.com â– inbetween

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Spring Prep Workout

ALLOVER

TONERS photos by Allison Tyler Jones Photography

Have nine minutes to spare? This fat burning workout from Extreme Weight Loss trainer Heidi Powell will get you bikini-ready fast. While I always encourage a widely varied routine for total fitness, prepping for swimsuit season is a little different. We all want to look our best, but with that comes the need to feel our best. To help meet both goals, I’ve created a workout to help sculpt the body for bikini season in a way that makes it work smarter, not harder. Done in tandem with healthy eating, it will help you feel confident and sexy in any swimsuit in time for you to hit the beach.

Catch Heidi Powell in the new season of Extreme Weight Loss, airing May 27 at 8 p.m. EST.

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WARM UP:

WORKOUT:

1 one

Round #1:

minute of slow jumping jacks

Begin in a standing position, feet together and hands at your sides. In one motion, jump feet out to a wide stance and clap hands overhead. Jump feet back together, bringing arms quickly back.

• Pike Press • Back Lunge • Swing Ups

Round #2: • 1 minute of Jumping Jacks • 1 minute of Burpees • Cool Down: Light stretching

2Withone minute of super-slow burpees feet shoulder-width apart and toes pointed slightly out from parallel, squat

down to the floor with arms inside your knees and hands directly under your shoulders. Jump or step feet backward to the plank position. Lower body down to the ground, do a push-up and stay in a plank position. Jump or walk feet forward into a frog squat. Jump up, clapping hands over your head. Return to original position and repeat.

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Technique: Pike Press

Begin in the pike position, holding a near 90-degree angle at the waist with knees and elbows extended and your head tucked between your shoulders. Bending at the elbows, lower your head to the ground until your forehead touches it. Press upward and backward to the starting position.

Back Lunge

Spring Prep Workout

Begin in a standing position, hips and knees fully extended, arms holding onto a chair or other stable object. Take an aggressive step backward with the right foot, gently ‘kissing’ your back knee to the ground. Keeping the front left knee over the toe and not beyond, drive through the left heel to a standing position. Take an aggressive step backward with the left foot, gently ‘kissing’ your back knee to the ground. Keeping the front right knee over the toe and not beyond, drive through the right heel to a standing position.

Swing Ups Perform three reps of each exercise in the first round, and increase by three reps with each subsequent round (e.g. 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, etc.). Do as much as you can in nine minutes.

Lying on the ground face-up, bend your knees, keep feet flat on the floor and extend arms overhead. Swing them forward, using the momentum to raise your shoulders and torso off of the ground. Touch your wrists to the top of your knees. Extend your arms over your head as you lower your torso and shoulders back to the ground. Touch the ground overhead to complete the repetition. ■

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10 Minutes With...

We quizzed Hayley Wickenheiser on Olympics, hockey and motherhood. Here, she shares her thoughts. Q: It’s the gold medal game.

freedom to do so. I feel like that Canada is tied 2-2 against the U.S. doesn’t work so much with being a and it’s going into overtime. What mom. With hockey I don’t ruminate and question if I did the right thing was going through your mind? A: Be calm. Stay composed. Do as much as I do being Noah’s mom. Though, I suppose what’s similar what you always do. Stick to the to both is that I have to make a plan. You’ve been here before. decision and stick with it. Commit Trust everyone. and accept the consequences. Q:And then you won and felt… A: Honestly, the first thing I Q: Do you think playing hockey thought was, “THANK GOD makes you a better mom? IT’S OVER!” Of course, that was A: I think the game relates to followed by elation and gratitude. being a mom in that I have had to learn to be a part of a team and have patience; the same Q: How do the stresses of applies to being part of a family. hockey and motherhood Those two qualities — especially compare? in a house with a teenager – are A: Both involve a great deal of probably the two most important pressure — the pressure to always things I have learned from the do your best. With hockey there game that apply [to my home life]. is always a “do-over” or another game. I can reinvent myself every Q: You’re just venturing into the day I play and I give myself that

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teen years with your son. What changes have you noticed so far? A: There are the obvious things — his voice is changing, he’s going through crazy growth spurts, he is eating more than I can even believe is possible, and his moods are a little unpredictable. Ha! Right now he’s right between being a man and a child. It is interesting to watch him make that leap, and sometimes a bit funny, because I remember that age myself.

Q: What are the biggest challenges you’re facing with him? A: Definitely the biggest challenge with Noah is finding the balance between fostering independence versus providing him with guidance. I would also say staying emotionally connected to him is hard. I try to stay curious about his life and find ways to engage with him. At this


age, just like most teens, he is into his friends and games.

Q: Do you have a game plan when it comes to dealing with teen issues down the road? A: I just intend to be honest with him and expect the same in return. I will also make an effort to talk to him on his level. I want

to give him options and allow him to have a say in how his life will look. I want to give him the opportunity to feel empowered.

Q: Does he play hockey? A: NO! He really dislikes hockey as a matter of fact.

Q: Fast-forward five years from

now. Noah is 18. What three characteristics do you hope he has as a young man? A: Empathy for others, thereby creating kindness. An understanding of the world. I also hope that he has a strong sense of who he is and has the confidence not get pushed around in life. â–

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YOUR TODAY. their TOMORROW

THANK YOU FOR READING! Go to inbetween.ca to subscribe for free and receive our next issue, special insider news and ways to win great prizes!

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for parents caught in the middle of raising a teen & young adult

INBETWEEN April/May 2014  

For parents caught in the middle of raising a teen & young adult