Imprint The university of Waterloo’s official student newspaper
Friday, February 23, 2007
Men’s Warrior hockey team take to the playoffs
vol 29, no 28
imprint . uwaterloo . ca
Do-it-yourself spirit alive in campus literary world
Alternatives to getting drunk and sticky
The new Feds page 3
michael l. davenport
Audit clears WATSA of wrongdoing Narmeen Lakhani assistant news editor
The Waterloo Tamil Students’ Association (WATSA) has been cleared of charges of mishandling funds through an independent audit enforced by UW and the Federation of Students last year. After the arrests of three UW alumni and one undergraduate student in August 2006, the UW HR and Student Services department teamed up with the Federation of Students to initiate a forensic audit on WATSA. The men arrested were former members and officers of this organization, and the allegations followed that they might have used WATSA funds to support the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE), an allegedly terrorist organization in Sri Lanka. According to CTV news, beginning April 8, 2006, “The Conservative government has outlawed the Libera-
tion Tigers of Tamil Eelam, making it illegal for anyone in Canada to support or participate in the group’s activities… The change was partly motivated by reports of the Tamil Tigers raising funds through alleged coercion in this country.” In an interview with Imprint at the time of these arrests, Feds president Michelle Zakrison commented, “The forensic audit is to determine that students’ money is being spent on legitimate things.” Deloitte and Touche conducted the audit, covering the financial documents from UW, Feds and WATSA over the 10 years prior to August 2006. UW news release reported on the findings of the audit, “Approximately 60 per cent of disbursements were for the rental of on-campus facilities. The balance covered a donation to the non-profit Tamil Children’s Endowment Fund as well as reimbursement of individual expenses and smalldollar items.” Therefore, WATSA’s
activities were declared legitimate and void of illegal aid to the LTTE. Renjie Butalid, Feds vice-president administration and finance commented on the report: “We have strict guidelines and procedures that all our clubs and services follow regarding any financial transaction, and we are glad to see that WATSA’s name has been cleared with the release of this report.” The goal of WATSA is to foster a better cultural understanding of the Tamil society and increase interaction among students to achieve better academic and social support within the UW community. Former president of WATSA, Mario Pushparatnam, had this to say about the clearance of the organization: “We are certainly glad that this unfortunate incident is behind us so that we can return our focus to promoting our club’s mandate and purpose… WATSA and its members have always played an active role in the campus community,
promoting acceptance and diversity of cultures…” UW is following up on plans to increase the monitoring of international co-op placements. In September 2006, Imprint reported the implementation of these plans as a result of the involvement of Suresh Sriskandarajah, one of the arrested UW students, in Sri Lanka during his co-op term. His placement during that term, secured independently of the university, was at a volunteer organization called the Vanni Innovation Group, which he founded. This self-directed job was accepted as an “unpaid placement” at the time. Co-op placements fell under greater university scrutiny after allegations first emerged of possible illegal activities involving both the members of his organization and VIG itself. UW representatives reported, “The committee reviewing work experience overseas endorsed the
university’s assessment and pre-approval process for the small number of self-employment work terms abroad… [and] stressed the importance of ensuring that all procedures — which include a designated contact person and on-site visit — are rigorously followed and suggested ways on ensuring compliance.” UW will follow these guidelines and check their progress after three years. It will also create an effective training program that will be required of all students traveling out of the country on activities authorized by the university. Martin Van Nierop, UW communications and public affairs, said, “We are satisfied that an independent auditor has confirmed the integrity of our Tamil student group, and look forward to implementing the recommendations related to students working and studying abroad.” firstname.lastname@example.org
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N ews Introducing your 2007-2008 Feds’ exec Imprint
Friday, February 23, 2007
email@example.com News Editor: Suzanne Gardner News Assistant: Narmeen Lakhani
photos by michael l. davenport
Kevin Royal (president) and Jonah Levine (VPED) of Team Yellow combine with Darcy Higgins (VPI) and Del Pereira of Team eX (VPAF) Darren Hutz staff reporter
The Bombshelter was unusually crowded for a Friday morning when Ian MacKinnon announced the results of this year’s Feds election on February 17 — and it sure wasn’t for the cheap pitchers. A plethora of concerned students, councilors, candidates and members of the press congregated around refreshments in front of the Bomber stage while waiting anxiously for the official announcement. As MacKinnon rifled off numbers and positions, the whole room was in a state of elation. Reactions ranged from celebration to utter disbelief. “When you’re up against an incumbent, anything can happen,” commented presidential victor Kevin Royal referring to Michelle Zakrison whom he defeated by over 500 votes. Royal
didn’t relish in his opponent’s loss though, “I have a lot of respect for [Zakrison] and what she has done for the organization. She ran her campaign with respect, with class and with grace.” He spoke highly of third place candidate Adam Schubert, saying “[Schubert] was an acquaintance before this race, and has become a close friend.” By far, the closest race was that for vicepresident administration and finance. Del Pereira beat Arthur Chan, who was not in attendance for the announcement, by only 101 votes. Pereira celebrated with a round of tequila from the bar for a few supporters. “I always thought it would be a close race,” he commented, dusting the salt off his hand. “Arthur had a good network,” he continued, referring to his opponent Arthur Chan, “being a residence don — he might’ve got the first year vote. Overall I think people
saw what I was doing with Bomber and thought I would do a good job.” When asked about his future successor, recently elected senator-at-large Renjie Butalid said, “I’ve worked with [Pereira] on a number of things including Fed Hall. Overall, I have full confidence in [him].” Butalid continued, “he’ll hit the ground running right from the get-go and he knows a lot of the staff already, he knows the structure of Feds from an internal perspective.” Darcy Higgins, fellow member of Team eX, echoed Pereira’s expectation. He attributed his victory as vice-president internal differently. “I had a lot of volunteers, and a lot of people getting out to vote. I talked to a lot of people, I had a solid platform and I started early,” said Higgins. With the announcement of vice-president education, Stuart Hastings, after having run for Feds a second year in a row, made sure he was
the first to congratulate Team Yellow’s Jonah Levine. Levine was unavailable for comment. One of the challenges facing the incoming executive will be the fact that it is formed from two tickets, with Pereira and Higgins from Team eX and Levine and Royal from Team Yellow. Royal doesn’t expect a big problem though, ”I have a strong personal relationship with [Higgins] and [Pereira] and I anticipate a productive and exciting year in office. The days of rivaling tickets — Team eX and Team Yellow — are in the past, and the four of us form a new team that will lead the Feds during the ‘07/‘08 calendar year. […] We’ll balance the priorities of both our platforms, and build a solid agenda that will benefit the student body as a whole. I’m approaching that meeting with an open mind and a willingness to listen.”
Kevin Royal (1706)
Darcy Higgins (1472)
Michelle Zakrison (1202)
Faraz Warsi (1320)
Adam Schubert (740)
Nhu Nhat Nguyen (536)
Declined (166) Turnout 14.6 per cent
13.9 per Turnout (eligible: 21267) cent
Turnout (eligible: 5453)
Turnout 16.5 per cent
average voter turnout
Voted 14.96 per cent
99 15.3 per cent
vice-president admin & finance
Jonah Levine (1530)
Del Pereira (1610)
Jenna Van Draanen
Arthur Chan (1509)
Shahnawaz Ali (disq.)
Stuart Hastings (1257) Declined (251)
Turnout 13.3 per cent
Turnout 14.6 per cent
Turnout (eligible: 1600)
Turnout (eligible: 4547)
11.2 per cent
16.9 per cent
Did not vote 85.04 per cent
Friday, February 23, 2007
Imprint’s alternative take
on the recent Feds election
Most Intelligent Online Showdown Adam Schubert vs. Michelle Zakrison
These two presidential candidates battled it out through e-mail — without resorting to shouts of “STFU n00b.”
Excuse me, can I be Feds Exec now? Stuart Hastings
After running for president last year and VPED this year, one wonders if next time around Hastings will try for VPAF or VPIN. photos by michael l. davenport, naema nayyar
By answering all questions with wit, class and clever wording, Royal trumped all competition and politispoke his way to victory.
Most Charismatic Del Pereira
That calm yet powerful voice combined with that sparklingwhite smile helped Pereira entice voters into “getting a Del.”
Most Committed to Getting One Thing Right Nhu Nhat Nguyen
With the campaign slogan “Don’t just get things done, get it done right,” Nguyen promised that if he were to be elected into office, he would only get one thing done right. Well, at least that’s better than getting nothing done right, right?
FRIDAY, MARCH 2, 2007
12 p.m. - 4 p.m.
RESEARCH DAY 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Hosted by the Office of Research Services
For event guide and location map, please visit www.wlu.ca/gradstudies
University Shops Dental Clinic
Experience the diversity of graduate programs and research at Laurier!
While you’re on campus, attend Laurier’s Research Day to hear about faculty and student research projects and explore research opportunities in many fields of study.
It’s not too late to apply for September 2007 admission! Visit us at www.wlu.ca/gradstudies
Dr. Akkila & Associates 6064-GradStudiesAd-02.07
Plan to attend Laurier’s Faculty of Graduate Studies Open House, Friday March 2, 2007, 12-4 p.m. Meet graduate faculty, staff and students to discuss your academic objectives. Grab some java and conversation with current students at the Graduate Students’ Association Coffee Bar in the Grad Pub.
New Patients Welcome Walk-in & Emergencies 160 University Ave., W., Waterloo (corner of Phillip & University)
All your dental needs in a comfortable and relaxing atmosphere.
We accept UW Student Dental Insurance
Friday, February 23, 2007
Fraud U or the Waterloo Way?
Co-op landed a friend of mine in Jon Stewart’s America (The Book). As part of her work on a piece of Corel software, her face was included in the stock photo collection. Several years later, she’s in a bestselling book. I thought of her when I saw the Maclean’s cover story on cheating university students. The title “Fraud U” was right next to a picture of shiny faced graduate in mortarboard and gown. I only hope he wasn’t aiming for a job interview anytime soon! Joking aside, cheating and plagiarism are no laughing matter. By the end of their first week at UW, students should be well acquainted with UW’s Policy 71, which governs student academic discipline (it is, after all, included on all syllabi). In short, the university frowns upon disrupting others, violating safety rules, cheating, impersonations, plagiarism, falsifying records and submitting coursework for credit elsewhere. Granted, most of the academic offences covered in Policy 71 are truly bad, but administrators and professors of late are at risk of killing the Waterloo Way if they try to eliminate any chance of plagiarism (as defined by current policy) amongst students.
A hallmark of a UW education was that students were expected to openly collaborate with each other. This meant that students were meant to do assignments, even weekly sample sets of problems, as a group and benefit from each other’s strengths and accommodate the weaknesses in the group. These days, students in some faculties are asked to sign what amounts to an affidavit claiming that they did all of their own work. While Maclean’s is, more often than not, prone to sensational cover stories (“Why do we dress our daughters like skanks?” Anyone?), the writers did identify a growing problem and attempted to identify the causes. Among other causes, the authors identify the growing pressure-cooker atmosphere on campus. Previously young people could get well-paying jobs right out of high school. Now entry-level positions require some degree of post-secondary education, whether at college or university. In addition, students want to graduate from premier institutions to put themselves ahead of the pack. The problem with this thinking is that the number of post-secondary institutions, as well as the number of students entering said institutions, has expanded rapidly in the past twenty-five years. We are a knowledge-based economy. It’s no longer okay to just have a degree, you must also have the best marks. Hence, the pressure to succeed. UW built the pressure valve of group co-operation into its cur-
riculum. What better way to find a solution than to see if any one else in the group has found it already. Why invent the wheel twice? But if UW increases enrolment on one hand, and discourages group collaboration on the other, students will suffer. Ironically, the same Maclean’s issue had an interview with David Walsh, author of No: Why kids — of all ages — need to hear it and ways parents can say it. His thesis? That our society has become unable to say no and by extension accept failure, either to succeed or to be happy, as an option anymore. “When kids don’t say no,” he tells writer Kate Fillion, “they are deprived of the gift of self-discipline… Self-discipline is twice as strong a predictor of school success as intelligence, and without it, our kids are ill-prepared for many things in life.” How’s that for a thesis? We’ve lost the ability to judge for ourselves what’s necessary or even possible. Instead, we simply load up our lives with all manner of activities and expect everything to come out right in the end. Granted, none of us gets out of this life alive, so technically, what we do before then is irrelevant, but presumably we’re looking for ways to succeed. Success is not an Oprah guarantee. If everyone expects a degree for as little work as possible, then what’s the point? We might as well buy one off the internet and be done with it. firstname.lastname@example.org
TUESDAY & WEDNESDAY February 27 — 28 Lunarfest 2007
TUESDAY February 27 Canada’s Cities: Competitive & Sustainable? Lecture by TD Canada Trust/Walter Bean Professorship in the Environment 2007 Michael Harcourt. Free admission. 3:30 p.m. Humanities Theatre
Renison Student Academic Council “Think Pink” Bomber Night Proceeds from this fun-filled night of prizes and great music will go directly to breast cancer research. 19+ event. 9:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m. Bombshelter Pub
On Tuesday in the SLC experience cultural dishes, learn about Asian culture and win prizes. On Wednesday night dance at Fed Hall and watch a variety of performances and a sizzling fashion show. 10:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. (Tues.) 9:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m. (Wed.)
WEDNESDAY & THURSDAY February 28 — March 1 Human Rights Conference Lectures and panel discussions booths about the violations and atrocities people face in this world. Starts Wednesday 6:00 p.m. continues to Thursday 8:00 p.m. SLC Great Hall
THURSDAY March 1 SJU Book Launch
An evening of readings, performances and discussion hosted by Waterloo Unlimited.
A wine and cheese reception celebrating seven recently published books written by St. Jerome’s faculty members.
7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. Conrad Grebel Great Hall
4:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. Fireside Lounge, SJU
Friday, February 23, 2007
email@example.com Opinion Editor: Anya Lomako Opinion Assistant: Brendan Pinto
Friday, February 23, 2007 — Vol. 29, No. 28 Student Life Centre, Room 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, Ontario N2L 3G1 P: 519.888.4048 F: 519.884.7800 imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Moving onward and upward Imprint’s EIC reflects on his year at the helm and gives his impending successor some words of wisdom
Editor-in-chief, Tim Alamenciak firstname.lastname@example.org Advertising & Production Manager, Laurie Tigert-Dumas email@example.com General Manager, Catherine Bolger firstname.lastname@example.org
Editorial Staff Assistant Editor, Margaret Clark Cover Editor, Dinh Nguyen Photo Editor, Michael L. Davenport Assistant Photo Editor, Valerie Broadbent Graphics Editor, Christine Ogley Assistant Graphics Editor, Angelo Florendo Web Editor, Mohammad Jangda Assistant Web Editor, vacant Systems Administrator, Gautam Khanna Sys. Admin. Assistant, Peter Gibbs Lead Proofreader, Emma Tarswell Proofreaders Linda Kong Ting, Adrienne Raw, Kaitlin Ojamae, Steven R. McEroy, Neal Moogk-Soulis
Production Staff Véronique Lecat, Jen Stanfel, Jennifer Blom, Chantelle McGee, Jacqueline McKoy some graphics by Peter Trinh
I feel like someone finishing high school and moving away. I’ve spent four years at this newspaper in varying capacities. From section editor to periodic writer to editor-in-chief, I’ve seen all Imprint has to offer. A handful of people who I’ve met along the way have asked why I’m not sticking around. Sometimes it’s time for a change, both for me and the organization. I’ve given Imprint all I can — hopefully my successor will build upon everything I’ve done. I’m astonished I haven’t completely burnt out yet, but sticking around would inevitably result in that. One commenter on our website noted, “Tim may seem out of touch with the student body,
but don’t blame him, thanks to his status of editor-in-chief [sic] of Imprint, he is insulated from the will of the masses he so disdains.” Much like my wretched high school experience, my time at Imprint has been wrought with criticism. Lobbed from the furthest corners of campus, some are uninformed and unintelligent criticisms. But once in awhile comes a nugget of gold like the one delivered above by PeterM. He’s mostly right save for the bit about our readership. I don’t disdain the masses; my position exists because of them. It would be foolish to take that for granted. But Petey’s point about being out of touch and insulated is a valid one. I’m heading back to school at this fine establishment. Back to the books and exams — a stress I’ve missed lately. Not that this will fix the issue of disconnection; I’ll be leaving this paper for good — a clean break. The comment PeterM left was on my column — possibly the only thing I would actually take credit for in this paper. Everything else is done entirely by the volunteers. I am the
man behind the curtain; preparing the style guide, running meetings and preventing us from getting sued. Understandably the editor-in-chief has some impact on the way the paper tells news. For the most part, though, it’s a game of trust and faith. One has to believe that the volunteers, as students, have the appropriate perspective. The funny thing about all the criticisms and comments is that it is entirely within the power of the commenter to fix the issues they may have with Imprint. We turn no one away. It’s going to be tough leaving you behind, readers. From the fray of production to the fiery public criticism, I’ve fallen in love with this job. For my successor, though, I would ask a favour of youse. Keep being the hard-edged audience you’ve always been. Constant criticism and comment have made my job and performance that much better. While some days it drags me down, on others it gives direction and inspiration. The ultimate compliment to my performance would be if my successor outperforms me. Like Obi Wan Kenobi, I realize that I do not have the power to slay Darth Vader — but I can certainly teach someone else how to. email@example.com
Office Staff Distribution, Andrea Meyers Distribution, Amy Pfaff Sales Assistant, Kristen Miller Board of Directors firstname.lastname@example.org President, Jeff Anstett email@example.com Vice-president, Adam Gardiner firstname.lastname@example.org Treasurer, Jacqueline McKoy email@example.com Secretary, Stephen Eaton firstname.lastname@example.org Staff liaison, Darren Hutz email@example.com Imprint is the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA). Editorial submissions may be considered for publication in any edition of Imprint. Imprint may also reproduce the material commercially in any format or medium as part of the newspaper database, Web site or any other product derived from the newspaper. Those submitting editorial content, including articles, letters, photos and graphics, will grant Imprint first publication rights of their submitted material, and as such, agree not to submit the same work to any other publication or group until such time as the material has been distributed in an issue of Imprint, or Imprint declares their intent not to publish the material. The full text of this agreement is available upon request. Imprint does not guarantee to publish articles, photographs, letters or advertising. Material may not be published, at the discretion of Imprint, if that material is deemed to be libelous or in contravention with Imprint’s policies with reference to our code of ethics and journalistic standards. Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term. Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit and refuse advertising. One copy per customer. Imprint ISSN 0706-7380. Imprint CDN Pub Mail Product Sales Agreement no. 40065122. Next board meeting: Tuesday, February 27 at 4:00 p.m.
Apathy not a problem on UW campus attending Western and Laurier?” Never does it seem that Feds questions its own nature, as if that can’t be part of the problem.
What is it to care about something? I submit that to “care” about something is to devote your own resources to it. Usually those resources are time and money, but they could be anything. (And if you purport to care about a cause without donating time, money or something tangible, then it’s not actually caring. That’s called “lip service.”) Since one only has a finite quantity of resources, one cannot actually “care” about everything. So why is it that students don’t seem to care about Feds? Unlike almost every Feds candidate this past election, I don’t believe the biggest problem with Feds is communication with the student body, nor do I believe it is actually apathy. I believe the actual problem is relevance. Whenever politicians approach Feds, it always seems to be with the mindset, “How can we get more people to come out to events like Polar Jam? How can we make our students more like those
I wandered into the Davis Centre library one Sunday to check out a book, and it struck me how full the library was. On Sunday. Tables and tables of students as far as the eye could see, most of them hunched over books. It would be a misnomer to call those students apathetic, because clearly they are spending a
lot of time and energy caring about something. This is the challenge facing our Feds, why we could never be like Western: ours is a university of keeners. As such, events like Polar Jam have to compete with school for attention, because we all care so deeply about school. You could try to convince UW administration to seek fewer keen students and recruit more of the “university is for sex and booze” variety, but somehow I doubt you’ll get them to put that in the Sixth Decade Plan. Feds needs to come to students, not the other way around. Feds does have a clubs framework, and that’s a start; there are a plethora of successful religious, ethnic and purely interest based clubs. Campus Response Team provides a valuable service, and the Women’s Centre has a dedicated volunteer base, not to mention that it’s gotten itself a lot of attention lately (which is a good thing, as awareness of certain issues were raised in the process). But if Feds is to expand upon these successes, the key isn’t holding a generic party and expecting me to come. Even if you set up a fancy Facebook-like site to tell me about it, I still won’t come. Feds needs to cater to my interests. If it doesn’t, there are plenty of other things I already care about — and one can only care about so much. — Michael L. Davenport
Friday, February 23, 2007
Putting an end to cyberbullying Nineteen students from Robert F. Hall Secondary School, near my hometown of Brampton, were suspended for cyberbullying their principal, Edward McMahon. They callously misused Facebook to form a group where he was derided as the “Grinch of school spirit.” While comments have been made to the effect that his reaction to the group was “over the edge,” those ungrateful bastards deserve more than a suspension. They don’t even deserve to be educated. Now being mocked by teenagers in this way isn’t enough to warrant a response, but can you believe that the posts on the Facebook group started to escalate and become sexually explicit.?From an adolescent? Phrases such as “I have a few words for the big man: get on your knees, open your mouth and suck it.” I don’t know about you, but I’ve never once in my life ever heard students speak disparagingly about a faculty member in such a vulgar tone, especially not in
high school. This whole thing came out of nowhere. Since when did teenagers stop respecting authority figures? Back when I was a lad, I remember doing nothing but sing the praises of my principal along with the rest of my fellow pupils. If the hatemongering students of this school are going to act like children, then I’m glad they got what they deserved. If there is one thing young people hate, it’s a controversial suspension and being given cause to fight against. Rabblerousing ne’er-do-wells like class president Kevin Sultana maintains that the comments made on Facebook are outside of the school’s jurisdiction. Listen Kevin, you can access Facebook on a school computer, and so that brings it within their jurisdiction. Plus, adults are always right. Man, are kids ever dumb. Slander is slander even if the perpetrator is three and the victim is thirty. Last time my niece called me a poopy pants, I took her to court. Cathy Wing of the Media Awareness Network said online bullying and intimidation is a growing issue, leaving officials unsure of how to manage the problem. I fancy myself somewhat of an expert on child psychology, having once been a child myself. In the real life analogue of bullying, the issue would be dealt
with by organizing an assembly that most of the bullies skip to smoke pot. At this assembly, they would put on some play that shows the students why bullying is wrong. Presumably by the students who are generally the victims of teasing and violence or, if not, who soon will be. Thus in the online equivalent, taunting, teasing and, in general, being a disaffected youth can be dealt with in a similar way. We first must recognize that taunting and being taunted is the worst thing that can happen to a child and must be eliminated entirely lest it decimate the entire population. Just look at the generations who came out of school without the benefit of anti-bullying campaigns. Buncha twisted psychos they turned out to be. Searching for the group at the centre of the controversy turned up a different group made by students of another school within the board. The original seems to have been taken down. Students from Robert F. Hall, some of who were among the ones suspended, pleaded with others in this
newly minted group to avoid publishing slanderous material on the Facebook group. I’m glad they are taking these steps because like the principal, they know that the internet is a place free of offensive material. I applaud Mr. McMahon for his poise and maturity in the matter. Graffiti with the same intentions is generally anonymous, but these comments had easily identifiable sources. By making an example out of these kids, principal McMahon has once and for all closed the rift between faculty and high school students. Not with some “let’s all shave our vaginas and talk about our feelings” dialogue with them, but with how kids are supposed to be treated — with contempt and scorn for the point in their life where they struggle to develop their independence from authority and establish an identity. Bloody animals. I’m Brendan Pinto and I’m single (because I once got made fun of and my ego has never recovered), so tell your friends.
What do you think of the results in the latest Feds election? What do you think are the biggest issues on campus today? Imprint wants to know your stand on these issues. Submit an editorial of approximately 500 words to firstname.lastname@example.org
Fishbein “award” wastes time Right smack dab in the middle of the Feds election announcement on Friday, February 17, the elections committee made a serious blunder. They told a joke. John Fishbein, former councillor and honourary member of the Federation of Students received an award for “lifetime achievement in journalism” for his work doing five podcast episodes of The O’Fishbein Factor that covered the recent election with a Stephen Colbert swagger. The award was intended to be a joke, to throw some of Fishbein’s own medicine at him. Lifetime of journalism for five comedy shows? How hilarious! But the award wasn’t completely a joke, was it? Fishbein did his best to breathe some life into the bor-
ing old Feds’ election formula of the endless fora, oceans of posters and coverage from more straightlaced news outfits like Imprint and CKMS. His podcasts hit the student body at a different angle, through a different medium and even though it did little for voter turnout — which is lower this year than last year, when The O’Fishbein Factor did not run — Fishbein’s got the right idea, and I look forward to future generations of his Factor. When he was given the award, its new media-ness was mentioned, and while the joke was the award itself, that does not change the fact that the elections committee has reason and wanted to recognize him. That little bit of truth makes it difficult to shrug off. So what Feds? Are you recognizing his efforts, or mocking them? It doesn’t help that Fishbein is a longtime Federation contributor, in one way or another. To an outsider to the organization, Feds looked like little more than the clique who ran dances back in high school.
Did candidates think it was funny? Then announced it right smack in the middle of rattling off the various races — they wanted to give the award first, but Fishbein was fashionably late — and I don’t imagine that many hopefuls really cared. People were literally holding their breath waiting for the results! People cried! How can you pause an announcement that 27 candidates care so desperately about to hand out an award that is barely even funny beyond its sheer existence? So Feds, in the future, if you want to give your buddy a pat on the back, do so in private. People work too long and too hard running for Exec and Senate for you to waste their time with your comedy. If I wanted to see a blowjob I would’ve … well, you get the picture. Your organization needs to actively fight the idea that it is itself a joke. With at least 82 per cent of your constituency not voting at your elections, maybe you should show students you are serious. — Darren Hutz
Beware of the angry graddies
when filing your taxes and when no income during the year. INSTANT CASH BACK
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Friday, February 23, 2007
We’re slowly nearing the end of another winter term and this means that there are a significant number of people on campus who are about to graduate. There’s a common misconception that these soon-to-be graduates don’t have a care in the world and that they are “takin‘er easy” for their last four months. Holding such an opinion is at great odds with reality and is likely to put you into an acutely dangerous situation if you’re not careful. While most graduating students, or “graddies” for short, are happy to be moving on soon, this happiness is usually overwhelmed by their ridiculously low tolerance for putting up with stupid bullshit which has been developed over the course of their Waterloo experience. So if you don’t want to find yourself on the wrong side of a graddy circle-beating (that would be the inside), then please read the rest of this column very carefully. First off, you have to know who you’re dealing with. Students in 4B are ticking time bombs ready to
explode at the slightest provocation — and who can blame them? They’ve endured hardships and idiocy over their time at Waterloo the likes of which a less experienced student can only dream about. You have to know what sorts of things are likely to set them off and avoid these like prison time in Mexico. As an example, optimism and youthful idealism tend to enrage most graddies.
A graddy would love nothing more than to crush your spirits and shatter your cheerful disposition You see, graddies have long ago become bitter, disillusioned shells of the people they once were and are insanely jealous of your vigorous lust for life. It’s in your best interest to keep that to yourself while in close proximity to them. A graddy would love nothing more than to crush your spirits and shatter your cheerful disposition. There are also a few simple things you can do on campus to reduce the likelihood of being pummeled by an angry graddy.
For instance, don’t ride your bike through crowds. Sure, you might be able to get to class thirty seconds faster, but if you happen to graze a graddy’s coat, you might find yourself with an inanimate carbon rod in your spokes (if you’re lucky). Graddies carry these around just in case, so it’s not worth the risk. Also, when walking through hallways, climbing stairs and passing through doorways keep the following in mind: people keeping to the left side get circle-beaten, people keeping to the right side do not. It’s that simple. If you do happen to find yourself in close proximity to a graddy, always be vigilant and look for signs that you might have crossed the line. Facial tics and twitches are good indications that a merciless beating is about to be dished out. Take this as your cue to run away. Your best bet is to run in a zigzag pattern and, whatever you do, do not climb a tree. Running from a graddy is a lot like running from an alligator and a bear that have been combined, into one diabolical super-animal — a bearigator, if you will. The important thing to remember is that graddies are people too. Just treat them with respect and a little extra care and you should be fine. Good luck and happy circlebeat avoiding. email@example.com
Chivalry isn’t dead, it’s sleeping
I recently went an entire day without having to open a single door for myself. It was unintentional of course, but it seemed every time I was about to open a door someone else — generally a male — was there and it was already open. These little acts of chivalry got me thinking. Our generation is often accused of unrefinement and a degeneration of manners. There are still those little acts of kindness that can brighten your day: someone opening a door for you when your hands are full, stopping to help you pick up books you dropped or seeing someone give up their seat to a little old lady on the bus. Chivalry, in its purest forms, stems from the medieval notion of courtly love — gallant knights going to great lengths to ensure their fair ladies’ comfort and safety and wooing them
with great acts of kindness. So if the ladies no longer need rescuing, and the knights are armed with laptops and Toyotas instead of swords and noble steeds, then should chivalry die with the damsel in distress? I know a few guys who still stick to the very old school notion of opening doors for ladies and cleaning off your car for you when you drive them home. While that’s great, I don’t want these things done for me purely because I’m a woman, but because they are doing it to be courteous. The problem with chivalry is that it stems from the idea that women are lesser, weaker beings who need help and protection. In our modern age, those who comply to the modern-day chivalric code (if there is such a thing) see it more as a thing of respect. So, is chivalry an archaic practice that belittles women, or a sign of respect? I don’t need you to clean off my car for me, but that doesn’t mean I won’t let you. It doesn’t matter if you’re male or female, old or young if you are behind me when I’m going through a door I will open it for you. Giving up seats to the elderly should be second nature as opposed to a
grand act of chivalry. The thing with chivalry is, it needs to change so that it doesn’t have the lingering sense of gender roles attached to it, and morph into a general sense of courtesy that permeates our society. Don’t open the door for me because I’m a woman, do it out of courtesy for me as another human being. Male or female, if you have a friend who’s freezing, why not pass off your coat? Chivalry doesn’t have to mean a man coming to the rescue, it could just be a little act of kindness that makes someone else’s life a little nicer — male or female. Although it’s nice to be treated like a lady, a chivalric attitude shouldn’t be reserved for dates or when the mood hits. Male or female, why not approach the world as though you sport shining armor instead of jeans and a T-shirt? Open that door, buy that sad friend a cup of coffee or point out that giant puddle to an unsuspecting passerby. Even if you don’t get a thanks in return, at least you’ll know your working your way up to knighthood. firstname.lastname@example.org
Friday, February 23, 2007
email@example.com Features Editor: Ellen Ewart Features Assistant: Christina Ironstone
Too hung over to think about resolutions in the early days of January? The Chinese NewYear,or Lunar New Year, gives us each a chance at renewal. Usually beginning late January to mid-February, this year we entered the new year on February 18. Christine Ogley
Brendan Pinto staff reporter
The University of Waterloo Alliance of Asian Student Clubs (UWAASC) will be celebrating Lunar Festival on the 27 and 28 of this month. Tuesday will feature booths in the SLC basement selling food and more. Wednesday the 28 DJ Silver will be spinning in Federation Hall along with performances and a fashion show. Celebrated internationally anywhere there are large populations of ethnic Chinese, the Lunar New Year is the most important of the traditional Chinese holidays. Starting on the first day of the lunar month, which fell on February 18 this year, the holiday is celebrated for the following 14 days culminating with the Lantern Festival on the 15th day. The calendar follows a sexagenary cycle representing the 60 combinations which result from the two root cycles — the heavenly stems and the earthly branches. The heavenly stems are represented by five elements, and the 12 branches represented by the 12 Chinese zodiac signs. According to ancient Chinese legend, the Nian, a man eating beast that lived in the mountains came down every 12 months to prey on human flesh. The monster was believed to be afraid of loud noises and the colour red. As a result, many of the festivities would include lighting fireworks and liberal use of the colour red. Imprint looks at the the new lunar year, see NEW YEAR page 13.
Would-be writers, be wary of writing programs
In 1936 the University of Iowa underwent a revolution of sorts, with the dawning of the very first graduate level creative writing program in North America. Graduates of this program earned a Masters of fine arts in English by participating in a series of fiction and poetry workshops, as well as by taking the occasional literature class. Over 70 years later, the mindset embodied in creative writing programs — namely, that the ability to write creatively can be taught — is now a culture unto itself. From howto writers’ manuals, courses and magazines to the pervasive presence
of amateur and professional writing workshops, the making of literature has never been so much a commercialized “craft” as it is today. Last winter term I attended one of the two creative writing courses offered at UW, hoping to dispel the feelings of extreme prejudice I had towards such programming. Ever since such programs gained mainstream major status in the 1960s, critics have argued that the creative writing workshop environment discourages innovation in favour of homogenous output — in essence, cookie-cutter poetry and prose. Moreover, the culture arising from creative writing groups is considered by many to be a glorified circle jerk, with publication too often awarded to those who produce the kind of “safe” writing engendered by workshop critiques. I was extremely disappointed to find that the creative writing program at UW lived up to my initial impressions in every way. Though most of
the students had only a passing interest in reading and an equally marginal background in writing, the course was not structured to teach them how to critique fiction and poetry effectively at the outset it was assumed that, once thrust into a workshop setting, the students would immediately know how best to approach and comment upon each other’s work.
...the culture arising from creative writing groups is considered by many to be a glorified circle jerk... If such a structure is indeed par for the course where creative writing programs are concerned, it’s no wonder the output of such workshops is accused of homogeneity: lacking the
tools to recognize and work within any writer’s individual style, students will invariably consider anything that stands out in the text to be an anomaly — instead of perhaps being a device that effectively arrests the reader’s attention. Should the author take all the “criticism” thus offered to heart, the result will invariably be work that is easily absorbed by readers — and just as easily forgotten. But where the teaching of creative writing is concerned, more problematic is its narrow focus — teaching the basic “how” of writing short stories and poems, when writers should instead be finding stories worth writing about. Most of the literary greats did not pop out of creative writing courses, after all: the insights imparted by Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov emerged from the whole of his life experiences, while Hemingway’s minimalism arose from his experience as a reporter, and his subject matter from working with the Red Cross during WWI.
Worse, with the naturalization of creative writing programs comes a sense of surprise when students of other disciplines — engineering, mathematics and computer science, for instance — try to make it big in the literary scene, as if creative writing students should have the market on creative writing cornered. Yeah, tell that to the late Isaac Asimov: physicist, essayist and canonical science fiction writer. Certainly, big names in contemporary literature are now associated with creative writing programs — and no doubt will continue to be, if only because of how ingrained creative writing programs are in our culture. Nonetheless, such programs should be seen as, at best, a starting point in any writer’s real education — and the acquisition of a degree, never the end result. Emerging writers of UW, take heed: your classroom should be nothing less than the whole goddamned world. firstname.lastname@example.org
Friday, February 23, 2007
Simple ten step quest for the holy grail Back in June, I talked about ejaculation; specifically, I brought up the phenomenon of female ejaculation. For many years, it was thought that only men were capable of ejaculation; female ejaculation was dismissed as a myth and many of the women who could do it ended up having surgery or therapy in an attempt to “fix” it — people thought that it was urine. But in 1980, the medical community finally discovered and began to study female ejaculation. Female ejaculatory fluid is as thin as water, it’s usually clear or milky and generally doesn’t have the look, smell or taste of urine. Some researchers believe that the fluid is produced by the Skene’s gland (located behind the G-spot, if present), which is thought to be the female equivalent of the prostate gland. But, thus far, much of the research on female ejaculation does not give any serious data about the origin or composition of the fluid expelled. It has been estimated that 10 per cent of women do ejaculate during
sex or masturbation, but all women may be capable of ejaculation. It is possible that many women have not been able to experience ejaculation because, for female ejaculation to occur, certain conditions must be met. Psychologically and emotionally you must be comfortable with your body and open to the experience; physically, you must be aroused and relaxed. It’s easier to be relaxed and open to an experience when you know what to expect and have some idea of what you should be doing. So, for those women out there wondering how the heck they’re supposed to try ejaculating, I give you the rough guide to achieving female ejaculation: Step 1: Wash your hands and trim your fingernails. If you have an assistant, make sure that they wash their hands and trim and clean their nails too. You might also want to go pee before you start — just to give you a little peace of mind. Step 2: Lay down a towel and keep a tissue box close by, sometimes quite a lot of fluid can be released and you’ll likely feel more relaxed knowing that you’re not going to make a mess or end up sleeping on a wet mattress Step 3: Grab a bottle of lube and make sure your (or your assistant’s) arms and hands are limber and ready.
Step 4: Start slowly. Play around a little, do the things that you normally do as foreplay: look at some porn, read some erotica, think of your favourite fantasy, etc. Step 5: Get your clit stimulated. Try rubbing it with a drop of lube on your finger or get your assistant to use their tongue. For some women clitoral stimulation is enough to get them to ejaculate but for others, and often when it’s your first time, a little something extra may be needed. Step 6: Find your G-spot, if you’ve got one. This is where an assistant or a sex toy would be very handy; it can be a tricky spot to stimulate by yourself. Slide your G-spot toy, or have your assistant slip two fingers, into your vagina. About two inches in, there is a little enlarged button of flesh with a different texture than the rest of the vagina — that’s what we usually consider to be the G-spot; it lies along your urethra and directly behind your clit. As this area is stimulated it will enlarge, making it easier to rub. But don’t ignore your clit; you’ll want to keep both areas stimulated if you can. If you don’t have a G-spot, or don’t like it stimulated, don’t fret — it’s not required for female ejaculation, but it can help. Step 7: If things are going well, you’ll start to feel like you need to pee. Don’t panic. You’re not going to pee,
the muscles in your pelvis are cutting off the flow from your bladder. Step 8: Let go and relax. You might be unconsciously clenching against that “need to pee” feeling, so you need to consciously relax. If you’ve got an “assistant,” let them know what you’re feeling so that they can help remind you to relax. Once you relax, the fluid will be able to flow out when you orgasm — with practice you’ll even be able to push it out harder and faster. Step 9: Right after ejaculating once, you could go ahead and try for
another, or you could take a rest and talk with your assistant about what you two just achieved — if you’re alone, take a moment to congratulate yourself — you’re a gusher! Step 10: Then you can clean up. Boring, but it rounds out my steps quite nicely. Don’t stress out if this isn’t working for you; trying too hard and being stressed out is not going to help. Just relax and enjoy your orgasm: even if you didn’t ejaculate this time, you can always try again another time. email@example.com
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Friday, February 23, 2007
Alternatives to your typical Friday night Julie Vieth reporter
Need a change from the Waterloo bar scene? I do, so I’ve decided to explore some alternatives. TGIF at the Kitchener-Waterloo Art Gallery (KW|AG) is a fun and affordable Friday night experience for a date or a night out with a couple of close friends. You may be thinking, “Why would I want to spend my Friday night at an art gallery?” Aside from the fact that you get a free beverage of your choice (included in your admission) there are many more reasons to spend your Friday night (or at least part of it) at the KW|AG. I found out about TGIF a couple weeks ago. It was Friday afternoon and I was procrastinating by spending time thinking about what to do that night. I had a few options but they all involved the same old Friday night plans: going to someone’s house to drink then heading to a bar that I’ve been to a million times, blowing my budget on drinks, inhaling an unnecessary (but so delicious) oversized piece of Campus Pizza and waking up to a killer hangover the next morning. Been there. Done that. On this particular Friday, I wanted to do something different. Earlier that day I noticed an ad for TGIF @ KW|AG in Imprint. So I called up a friend and we decided to check it out that night.
... if you’re too drained for a bar crawl, want to round out your cultural experiences in the city before graduation or just need to impress a hot date. Dressed classy and feeling pretty mature, we arrived at the KW|AG (in the Centre In The Square building on Queen Street in Kitchener) around 9:30 p.m. After being greeted, getting our tickets and hanging up our coats we didn’t know where to begin our evening — there was so much going on: gallery tours, psychic and palm readings, interactive art activities, live music and gourmet appetizers in the Art Bar. We chose to browse the gallery on our own. The current exhibit, on until March 25, is the River Grand Chronicles series. Their website says “[it] presents projects with a strong connection to the Grand River and the regions it winds through.”
Tasha Ethelston, KW|AG
During our gallery browsing, we stopped to make our own artistic masterpieces. I never thought I would spend any part of a Friday night building structures out of Styrofoam, toothpicks and Plasticine, but it was surprisingly fun to sit around a table with a group of adults and play like we were in second grade. After experiencing the artwork we followed the sound of jazz music to the Art Bar. It’s small, cozy, romantically lit and very popular on a Friday night. The demographic ranged from early twenties to late thirties — being
in our early twenties we felt pretty mature being surrounded by a number of ‘older’ people. We got our complimentary drinks and sat and enjoyed the music. It wasn’t the kind of bar where we had to yell to hear each other over bumping bass — we had a whole conversation without yelling — and it was a surprisingly nice not to shout ourselves hoarse. The band was amazing; they played for half an hour non-stop and didn’t even use sheet music. Though I am not a very musically-inclined person, I was nonetheless impressed by their performance.
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To make the evening complete, we helped ourselves to the complimentary appetizers the chef was preparing in the bar. I can’t tell you what the appetizers were but they were delicious — compliments to the chef. Art, a candlelit bar, a glass of red wine, a great jazz band and gourmet appetizers — I had a great time and still only spent $15 the whole night. All in all, Thank Goodness It’s Friday at the K-W art gallery is definitely a good alternative to hitting the regular bar scene on a Friday night.
A rice recipe that sticks
Rice has quite an amazing track record. It acts for nearly half of the world’s population as the foundation for dishes ranging from Spanish paella to Japanese sushi. Rice is a staple and ever-versatile food; it pleases the senses in sweet or savoury dishes. I believe many people take rice for granted because it is so readily available. However, there is hope for such a workhorse; we must overcome the backlash of shunning all foods endowed with “carbohydrates.” Considered friend rather than foe again, rice is really comforting in that this type of food is simplicity at its best. While the varieties are endless — at least 7,000 kinds — rice is grown in two ways: aquatic and hill-grown rice. As the name implies, aquatic rice is grown and cultivated in flooded fields. Hill-grown rice yields a smaller amount of rice and is considered a lower quality. This type of rice can be grown in tropical climates. Overall, both rice varieties have pretty good nutritional rapports: they are cholesterol and gluten free, low in sodium and contain a trace amount of fat, and an excellent source of complex carbohydrates. To offset the reputation that white rice is not a good nutritional food choice, you can find enriched versions of white rice on the market which contain calcium, iron and many B- complex vitamins. Brown rice has slightly richer values in all these nutrients, in
addition to providing an excellent source of manganese (to help maintain a healthy nervous system), selenium (to protect cells from freeradical damage), and magnesium (to strengthen bones and keep blood circulating smoothly). Rice is classified by the length of the grain: long, medium or short. Long grains produce light, dry textured rice, which can be separated into individual granules. At the other end of the spectrum, small bead-like grains are characteristic of short-grained rice. They have a high starch content, creamy texture and its moistness causes the rice to stick together. Medium grained rice is in between the two extremes of rice varieties. It is shorter and moister than long-grain, and not as starchy as short-grain. After it is cooked it comes out fluffy, but as it cools it begins to clump. Rice is also categorized by type: brown or white. In brown rice, the outer husk is removed, leaving the centre of the grain. The bran gives this rice a lightly tanned colour. It is not only high in fibre, but has a chewy texture and nutty taste. Brown rice needs more water (two portions of water to one portion of rice) and more time to cook (about 30 minutes). White rice, also known as ‘polished rice’ (called this because it undergoes a literal polishing while being processed), has had the husk, bran and germ removed. It requires less time to cook and produces fluffy, separated grains of rice. Store rice in airtight containers in a cool, dark place. White rice lasts almost indefinitely, but the bran found in the brown rice variety makes it subject to rancidity, limiting the shelf life to a matter of months. To extend its life, put the container in the fridge. email@example.com
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Friday, February 23, 2007
Creamy rice pudding
The most popular types of rice: • Arborio: A round, beady grain that makes a very starchy white rice. Traditionally, it is used to make an Italian dish called risotto. • Basmati: Has a nutlike fragrance, delicate flavour and light texture. • Sweet rice: A very sticky rice variety that is almost translucent when it is cooked, it is traditionally used to make sushi and mochi. • Jasmine: A soft-textured long grain aromatic rice that is available in both brown and white varieties. • Bhutanese red rice: The nutty, earthy taste of this rice is red in colour and grown in the Himalayas. • Forbidden rice: a unique type of rice that transforms from black to purple when cooked, and has a sweet taste and sticky texture.
3/4 cup Arborio rice, rinsed 6 cups whole milk 1/2 cup sugar 1/4 tsp salt 1/4 cup heavy cream 2 tsp real vanilla extract Sliced strawberries (for garnish) Method:
1. In a medium saucepan (or a saucepan large enough to hold six cups worth of liquid), combine rice, milk, sugar and salt. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat; reduce heat and simmer, stirring frequently, until rice is tender and liquid has been absorbed, about 40-45 minutes. 2. Take saucepan off the heat and stir in heavy cream and vanilla. 3. Garnish rice pudding with sliced strawberries. This dish may be served at room temperature or chilled.
Friday, February 23, 2007
ar of the e y e FIRE PIG Th Continued from page 9
February 18, 2007 to February 6, 2008 — The year of the pig and of fire. I like to refer to this particular combination of animal and element as the year of the luau. This, the last year in the 12 year earthly branch sub-cycle, corresponds to Hai — more commonly known as the year of the pig. In Japanese, the Chinese character translates specifically to a wild boar. Western cultures likewise refer to it as the year of the boar because the image of a pig generally has negative connotations. The pig is associated with fertility and virility in Chinese culture. Honest, straightforward and patient, the type of person born in this year will generally make poor Feds’ candidates. They are reserved with new people, which can give the misconception of aloofness. Those who do gain confidence with a pig will find a lovely, warm-hearted person, or a dick. I guess it depends on the person.
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Pigs aren’t, by nature, ones to take revenge or be confrontational in general. If by chance someone tries to screw them over, they will usually withdraw and reflect. Woody Allen is a famous pig. Think Woody. Once they have taken the time to think a social problem over (and perhaps discuss it with their therapist) they can find a practical response. Conservative creatures of habit, they dislike having their routine disturbed or being made to travel far from a familiar place. On road trips, they would likely ask for bathroom stops more than anyone else, and probably complain that the air conditioning is either too high, or that it’s too hot in the car. Just sit there quietly, pig, I’m not turning this car around. Plus, we’re going out to the countryside. As a pig, you love nature. Being born in the year of pig is indicative of a wide circle of friends and acquaintances. In other words they never turn down a friend request on Facebook even when they don’t know the person. They will still, however, have a few close friends who really understand them enough to share the really deep stuff. Pigs are a trustworthy bunch; they are not the type to let you down. They just want to do everything right and adhere to social norms. In short, they are the lamest people you know. email@example.com
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Friday, February 23, 2007
Across 1. Gave a horse a shoe 5. Grad 9. Pound pups 14. Syringe 15. Mr. Bean drove one 16. Modern comm. tool 17. Someone who copies words or behaviours 18. Latin for jaw 19. Brief, impulsive indulgence 20. Medal-worthy work 23. Peculiar 24. Wipe out 25. Tunisian capital 27. 1980s Norwegian pop group 30. French paradise 34. Disrespectful and arrogant 39. 50th anniversary slogan (2 wds) 40. U-Haul’s truck and trade 41. New Zealand natives 43. Boundary line 44. At an apex 46. Trippy fungus 48. Resident of Nepal 49. Basque separatists 50. Operational area 53. Geeky candy 58. Defective 61. This past week (2 wds) 64. A warning of danger 66. Chauffeur driven car 67. Small case for needles 68. Multiple Tour de France winner 69. And others (2 wds) 70. Edible secretary of state 71. Fear 72. Yiddish for jerk 73. Prophet or oracle
Down 1. Deep embarrassment 2. Bouncing off the walls 3. Wagner’s forte 4. 50s actress Day 5. Useful in a gun 6. Never tells the truth 7. Cold hearth 8. French cat sound 9. The promised one 10. Act as umpire 11. Edible starchy root 12. Even score 13. Toboggan 21. Blue-green 22. Straighten out 26. More timid 28. Skirt bottom 29. A direction in the fourth spatial dimension 31. From India 32. Tiny African republic
33. Individual unit 34. The terrible Russain Tzar 35. The scruff of the neck. 36. Key part in a vasectomy 37. Academy Award 38. Jerry’s adversary 42. Dejection tied to an action 45. Appalled 47. Put up 51. Storms 52. Queen Harold II of England 54. Water pitchers 55. Tie again 56. Two dice or playing cards 57. Someone who skis 58. With no hair 59. Growth-regulating chemical 60. Swede neighbour 62. Muslim holy man 63. Latin no 65. Much sought-after antique radios
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February 16 solutions
“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.” — narrator, Fight Club, by Chuck Palahnuik Answer for this week’s cryptogram:
Friday, February 23, 2007
firstname.lastname@example.org Arts Editor: Ashley Csanady Arts Assistant: Andrew Abela
Zines spice up the scene staff reporter
Though lovable nerd characters like The O.C.’s Seth Cohen may be exiting the airwaves of late, the “smart is sexy” movement they helped propel into the mainstream is still very much the focus of the general population. However, the efforts made by real life “Star Wars geeks” to keep popularity surrounding this smarty-pants syndrome may be surprising to most Waterlooians, as they compile exciting new short stories, poetry and prose pieces and then (gasp!) ask us to abandon our computers to enjoy it. Yet the positive reactions from literate citizens of Waterloo and beyond have already proven that the literary magazine — and all of its, albeit, old school fashion — is on the rise. Coinciding with the hipstercenester feel that rings through any university, both Scared of My Mate and Memewar are do-it-yourself publications largely compiled by students. Scared of My Mate is locally run and operated, while Memewar stems from the brains of three Simon Fraser students in Vancouver. And while each is less than a year in the making, both magazines are making waves among authors and readers alike, ironically due to the fact that they’re such new publications. While long-standing works like The New Quarterly receive more cross-country submissions than their closet-sized office can hold, Scared of My Mate and Memewar are able to accept and publish a larger portion of submissions because they’re still in the first stages of accruing importance in the literary scene.
Eftyhia Lucas, one of the five editors of Scared of My Mate, admits that the selection process is tricky issue. “We knew from the beginning that we didn’t want to just print anything and everything we received,” she said. “We wanted to maintain some sort of standards and the challenge was figuring out what those standards were, which took up a lot of that initial planning discussion before the first printing.” Along similar lines, the publishers of Memewar have agreed upon a democracy as the fairest way to select submissions. Unfortunately, this is generally not the quickest way as “[in] the past, ten-line poems have sparked hour-long debates. And since [the] editors all have different interests, debates occur frequently.” Currently, the Memewar editors are struggling through an argument over a children’s rhyme about dancing grandmas. And while this all may sound strange and rather like a large waste of time to an outsider, both literary magazines insist that this is a necessary process in order to effectively present the magazine’s themes from issue to issue. Oftentimes, each publication reveals a new twist on the same general focus, for the original intentions of the editors may not always be what they receive from the authors. Scared of My Mate, for example, sees itself as a “literaryfocused ‘zine;” yet, lately, visuals — from photography to full-on comics — have been spicing up the editions. On the other hand, Memewar doesn’t even like to admit it’s a literary magazine and instead just picks a topic, such as “The Future” for their upcoming issue, to print various articles on. Says Aubyn Rader, one
February 23 to March 1 Partition — Original Princess $6 at Turnkey, Fri 9:30 p.m., Sat-Wed 7:00 p.m., Sun 2:00 p.m. February 23 to 24 Dancer in the Dark —156 King St. Kitchener $10 in advance, show at 9 p.m. February 24 The Bicycles — Jane Bond $5 at the door, doors at 8 p.m. February 24 to 25 Stitching for Pretty — Joseph Schneider Haus $1.50+, Sat 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Sun 1 to 5 p.m.
While each has been around for less than a year, both magazines are making waves among authors and readers alike.
of the editor of Memewar, “We don’t have a focus so much as we have a certain approach. One of the weird things about schools is that they’re organized into “departments.” A lot of people talk about the same things, but in different social circles with different jargon. We thought it was high time they were interacting and working together.” In this sense, both magazines have benefitted greatly from the student-dominated population of Waterloo, as each one finds the majority of their submissions are compiled by “haggard, pimple-faced uni-students.”
Imprint’s watching Babel Alejandro González Iñárritu
Perfume Tom Tykwer Gone with the Wind Victor Fleming
Partition Vic Sarin Notes On a Scandal Richard Eyre
To those wishing to get published, Scared of My Mate and Memewar offer similar advice on the importance of researching the publications priorto submission to see if your style meshes well with what’s being presented. However, Lucas also adds, “Submit to everything around you until you get published, or take matters into your own hands, and publish yourself, as we’ve done. Creating something yourself is so satisfying and the process of publishing is part of the excitement — playing with the visuals and layout is a whole other side of the ‘zine process; it’s not just a text, it’s a multi-faceted work
of art. Get involved. Take control of the means of production. That sort of thing is happening more and more in the region lately, and it’s amazing.” Check Memewar out online at www.memewaronline.com. All their issues are online so even though you can’t pick them up here, you can still get a chance to read them. Scared of My Mate is hoping to have the next issue out by May. Check out their website for more information at www.myspace.com/scaredofmymate. email@example.com
February 28 Drawing and Animation in the Digital Environment with Dane Warkins — UW at Cambridge lecture hall Free, 7 p.m. March 1 Shelter From the Storm with Film Festival Opening Ceremonies as part of the Expressions of Social Justice Film Festival — Princess Twin Pay by donation, 7 p.m. March 2 to 6 Perfume: The Story of a Murderer — Original Princess $6 from Turnkey, Fri-Tues 9:20 p.m., Sun 3:45 p.m.
Friday, February 23, 2007
A vicarious vacation in film
party and I opted for the rematch of the century, Rocky II. Without Balboa’s mumbled meanderings and his triumphant conquering of a large staircase, I don’t know how I’d live on. Thanks to Rocky, I learned a lesson more valuable than any from your garden variety textbook or novel: the most gratifying of all boxing movie scenes are Ah, reading week. The one week that the workout montages. You’ve seen the our soulless faculty tutelaries provide us kind, a sweaty and strong Balboa tugwith a short break from the mundane ging on massive weights with ambient inspirational power rock. Like the rush life that is undergraduate academia. Most people do the usual activities someone on ecstasy gets from listening that spell fun: a trip to Florence per- to layered trance music, you’ll be left panting with your skinny fists in the air. haps, or unfathomable amounts of And just as you’re left embarrassed by the vacation’s namesake, reading. I, however, opted for a much more your sudden and unexpected emotional varied holiday. I absolutely love to travel. outburst, a charming James Stewart as Unfortunately, I also have a trouble Edwood P. Dowd enters. Although you hanging on to money long enough for it won’t ever directly see him, you’ll find a friend in his invisible six foot eight to amount to the cost of any trips. My week began with a re-acquain- inch rabbit companion Harvey. I know tance with my dear dysfunctional that, since I first saw this film as I young Italian family, the Corleones, through child, I always pictured him as part Bugs watching Godfather II for the 37th time. Bunny, part Easter Bunny. The next day brought along With all the brotherly betrayal and carea dating age fully calculated gap of about mob hits I needed thirty years, a something truly Manhattan was this few counts of uplifting to cheer me back up. After with even more laughs infidelity and a purposeful all, reading week black and white should be happy. — an even more New York. It’s I knew right away that the pedophiliac Woody and almost as good as actually besad emptiness I less cocaine. ing there, apart felt could only from the many be filled by one thing — a very bad ‘80s comedy in- scenes that beckon me to the urban volving high school stereotypes, bad cityscape like a siren sings you to shipwreck. I’ve always felt as if Annie jokes and even worse haircuts. Midnight Madness is a film of quality Hall was too centred on the comedy nearing the experience of dysentery, instead of elaborating more on the yet it was still great. A mysterious nerd relationship dynamics. Manhattan named Leon invited selected teams was this with even more laughs — an to compete in a night long scavenger even more pedophiliac Woody and hunt, with cryptic nerdy clues along less cocaine. All in all, on my wild week off from the way! With all the wild ’80s antics I completely forgot all about the school, I learned a few valuable lessons. senseless mafia killing. I was quite I was reminded why ‘80s movies are comforted by the fact that they no so bad, why Rocky is still king and that longer make movies like this anymore. Woody Allen has a wonderful way of A comfort soon dispelled as Imprint’s capturing Manhattan’s beauty. I still would have preferred to own Brendan Pinto purchased Leon’s infamous “Game Master” t-shirt see our favourite pick from the cults section of Steve’s TV, 2069: A Sex — custom made no less. What happened next was com- Odyssey. Part of me just needs to hear pletely beyond my control, for who what they did to HAL, but not enough am I to be an exception? What movie to spend $30 to find out. marathon is truly complete without firstname.lastname@example.org an appearance by Rocky Balboa? My WINNER
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The Colour Between Earth & Sky
Shiny Toy Guns We Are Pilots
High 4 Records
When I first listened to this CD, I was so annoyed with it, I just wanted to skip through all the songs. The second time around, it got a little bit better, but still not great. My main problem with the CD is that it’s cheesy. The vocals are steadily so. Only on track 11 do the vocals show some promise by becoming more angry. If you love chick flicks, Britney Spears, Mandy Moore and Good Charlotte, you might like this CD. The chords are sometimes experimental and interesting, but for the most part, they are too predictable and resolve every time. There’s a lot of energy in the tracks though, so it’s dance-able. The violin’s cool in track 7 and we almost get some ska going, but not quite. In track 8, there’s a trumpet for about 30 seconds, but that’s it. With the lame morals thrown in everywhere, I think these guys might be better writing poetry, or perhaps motivational speeches. They might make good counselors. The main problem here is that this disc lacks focus. The energy speaks to anger, but the lyrics speak to sappiness. We get close to chill, but we don’t get interesting or laid-back. We get close to blues or country, but the storyline of the vocals isn’t strong enough. This band shows potential, but I just don’t feel they’re there yet. Maybe if I get in a real good mood sometime, I’ll pull out this disc and actually like the cheese. For now, the words “I’m a real cold killer when I wanna be” just aren’t convincing.
Listening to The Colour’s Between Earth & Sky begs me to wonder, does lead singer Wyatt Hull’s voice remind me more of Robert Smith or Ian Brown on a downer? The bluesy guitar and downbeat driven rhythms draw me into their sympathy-starved lyrics — which only provide me with a blue and black sounding colour. The second track “Devil’s Got A Holda Me” reminds me of what ties us down and trap us, which brings along a catchy chorus and funky and slow rhythms. The group chorus with sudden cowbell did me in the first time I heard it. “Salt the Earth” clearly tells me that Hull is mad at someone or something, and he isn’t afraid to show you by instructing you to do so and then provide you with an amicable poppy guitar chord progression to close. The track “Bearded Lady” intrigued me the most, for reasons that will remain unknown due to their obvious nature. It’s good use of piano soothed me from the cringe I suffered after reading the title. Maybe my female ideals are patriarchal and incredulous at best, or maybe women just shouldn’t have beards. Wyatt’s inaudible lyrics leave me unanswered and I’m left wondering if I am as socially balanced as I once thought. On thing’s for sure, though, is that my appreciation for ethnic diversity says that I’m totally down with The Colour.
The first track off of Shiny Toy Guns’ new album We Are Pilots, with its jangly guitar, synth and distant echoing beats, brings me back to a day when Morrissey was a sex symbol. I’m immediately assured that I’m going to enjoy the rest of the album — or so I hope. The next track “Le Disko,” stays true to its name and stays as cool as a song with a French title would be. The driving bass synth, techno drum beat and female empowering vocals bring up images of shiny toy guns and disco dancing with tight shiny synthetic pants. Even the necessary breakdown followed by the equally essential buildup doesn’t fail to please. “Waiting,” the seventh track on the album, has a keyboard part similar to something Brian Eno would come up with. It’s too bad that it’s accompanied by Chad’s empty 80s electro balad sounding vocals. Carah, the female vocalist counterpart, is much better and sounds way better along with the band. All in all, this is an album that contains some synth parts that might have sounded better played by The Faint, a pretty badass female vocalist and a very sexy second track. Hm, let’s see: something that could’ve been done better by someone else, a boring male vocalist but a strong woman to make up for his many shortcomings. Sounds like an average relationship to me.
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Friday, February 23, 2007
Losing more than just a TV show A threnody for The OC — especially the music
Thursday night marked the final episode of The OC, the last hurrah for the mind-numbing primetime soap opera. Good riddance, I say! Praise God that four seasons of wasted attempts to create something culturally relevant are over! No longer will a bunch of out of touch rich kids act as role models for the impressionable proletariat! At last, I can praise a new indie band without fearing the response “Hey, weren’t they on The OC?” This is a good day, my friends; a good day for art, a good day for the cultural elite. Oh, who am I kidding? I can barely hold back the tears. Why Fox, why cancel the only thing that gives my life meaning? What am I going to do with my Thursday nights now? Instead of pretending that I’m staying in “to catch up on my Russian Lit readings” am I actually going to have to stay in to catch up on my Russian Lit readings? Bollocks! How am I going to find out about cool new bands? Am I actually going to have to buy Under the Radar? This is disastrous; I’ve never felt such a painful loss (at least not since last season when they killed off Marissa). Oh how I’ll miss those warm California mornings with Seth and
Sandy eating bagels, those afternoons following Summer down to the beach, those exciting nights at the Bait Shop when Ryan’s anger management issues exploded into the face of some insensitive alpha male. Such wonderful, mindless fodder. It seems like just yesterday I was cursing Julie’s name, finding myself actually liking Luke and wondering why Jimmy Cooper would lie so much. My heart warms when I think of Seth trying to deal with both Summer and Anna in different parts of the house on Thanksgiving. Oh Lord, we had such fun together. My dear readers, I must confess: the last episode of The OC does not merely mark the end of a television series, but also the final moment in an important stage of my development. I will be frank with you; The OC was the best friend I ever had. I’ll miss those nights where Seth and I would stay up late talking about graphic novels and discussing the latest Death Cab for Cutie album. I’ll miss sharing a juice with Marissa at The Thrills concert, and staying in with Summer to watch the newest episode of The Valley. I’ll miss being able to rely on Sandy “Eyebrows” Cohen every time I get arrested, and I’ll miss having the liberty of checking out Kirsten’s butt every time she walks out of the room. I’ll miss having conversations where sighing is an acceptable means of communication. I’ll miss driving around in SUVs with Ryan, hanging out in Caleb’s
graphics by andrew abela
massive mansion, and trying to pick up Kaitlin Cooper without anyone noticing that she’s way too young for me. I’ll miss driving to Chino and flying to Brown, I’ll miss visiting Johnny and rescuing Hailey from L.A. strip bars. (Rufus Wainwright’s version of “Hallelujah” cues in on the soundtrack.) What tragedy, seeing such beauty cast aside. Where did it go wrong? Was it that parallel universe episode? Or the one with the Earthquake? Was it the sixth OC Mix that had Lady Sovereign covering the Sex Pistols? Was it the fact that they based an entire televi-
sion series on a bunch of spoiled teenagers (played by people in their late twenties) with little room for any plot development? Perhaps. I cannot bear to think of my life without the weekly overdose of pop culture references, predictable characters, irreverent wit and unexplainable heartache. How will I ever find out what’s fashionable, what’s hip, what’s “so hot right now?” The OC made it so easy for me, I can’t imagine life without it… Oh my, look at me. I’m sorry for this little outburst, dear readers,truly.
Please don’t tell anyone that I did this, I’m so embarrassed. Look at me, I’m a wreck, tears everywhere. Let’s just pretend this week’s column was an elucidation of Foucault’s post-structuralism, or an exposure of apocalyptic yearnings in the new Thermals album, or a critical reflection on Man Ray’s Cadeau. I promise, no one will ever know. It’ll be our little secret. Oh dear, I’m going to go listen to Imogen Heap on repeat now… email@example.com
Thursday, March 1st, 2007 All Ages Dry Bomber Night
Friday, March 2nd, 2007
Movies: s A Night at the Museum at 9pm s Stranger than Fiction at 11pm Craft Corner Sponsored by Alumni Affairs: s Make St. Paddy’s Day Hats at 9pm Campus Cove: Unlimited Play at 9pm to 1am s $5 UW, $7 Non-UW; For every donated item of canned food or imperishable good, take a dollar off the entrance fee. Free Food: s Pizza and pop at 10:30pm
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Movie mends broken hearts
Friday, February 23, 2007
Lacklustre follow-up to Wii Sports
Because I Said So Directed by Michael Lehmann Universal
What girl wouldn’t get angry if her mother tried to find a suitable life partner for her through a personal ad on the internet? Usually, I’m not one for sappy chick flicks, but Because I Said So was actually quite funny and amusing. You can ask the lady whose boisterous laughter filled the entire theatre. I hadn’t heard enough about the movie, so it wasn’t totally predictable either. Daphne Wilder, played by Diane Keaton, is a quirky mother on the verge of turning 60, who is desperate to find her youngest daughter a good boyfriend. Poor Milly Wilder, Mandy Moore’s character, has gone through dozens of relationships that ended in sobs and heartbreaks. Just as Milly declares that she will no longer attempt to find the perfect partner, “fate” leads her into the arms of two gorgeous men. Little does Milly know that her mother interviewed a buffet of single men, finally choosing
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Diane Keaton stars as a meddling mother in Because I Said So. Jason the architect to win her daughter’s heart. Then came Johnny the hunky musician, who Daphne passed over as the “heartbreaker” type, ready to conquer Milly on his own.
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Here begins Milly’s conflict: deep blue eyes or hot tattoo? Of course, her mother in all her 007 glories will stop at nothing to ensure that Milly wants to marry Jason, refusing to understand Johnny beyond the stereotype. It takes a burnt chocolate soufflé for Milly the chef to decide where her heart’s content lies. Oh, and she definitely finds out about her mother’s mischief — we all know moms have their hearts in the right place, but lying about desperate attempts to find the right man for her daughter can only lead to grief. Daphne’s desperation turns out to be more of a fear of seeing her daughter old and alone, her other’s mirror image. Only, she doesn’t know that polka dots can lead to love for all. I think. Aw, here is another nice and cheerful feel-good movie to mend a lonely heart. And remember ladies, always investigate when your mom insists on Because I Said So as her excuse! — Narmeen Lakhani
Recently, Nintendo released Wii Play, a collection of nine minigames in an attempt to cash in on new players who are looking for more. Unlike Wii Sports, however, the games get boring fairly quickly. If not for the inclusion of the bonus controller, which is still very hard to find, there is really no point in buying this game. Wii Play, like Wii Sports, is an attempt to introduce new players to the usefulness of the controller. All the minigames are designed to show players special features of the Wii-mote. In “Table Tennis,” players point to the screen so that they can return the ball. In “Laser Air Hockey,” players’ Wii-motes act as a virtual paddle, twisting and moving the puck to the opponent’s goal. In “Cow Racing,” players hold the Wiimote sideways like a steering wheel, twisting and turning to the finish line. These games are so simple and so intuitive, everyone will be able to understand and master the controls in matter of minutes. However, this level of simplicity is also its downfall. Wii Play’s minigames just doesn’t have the longevity that people associate with new games. Minigames like “Pose Mii” — where you twist and aim to match your virtual character’s poses — or “Find
Mii” — like where’s Waldo, but with your virtual characters — are just boring. Fishing is also just as boring as it sounds: aim at where you put the lure down, pull back once they take the bait. Sure it’s simple, but it’s not much fun. Despite the tameness that some minigames exhibit, there are a few standouts that may keep players coming back for more. For example: in “Shooting Range,” players use one or two remotes to shoot down targets such as popcans or balloons. In “Billiards,” players use the remote as a cue stick in a shady pool hall. Finally, there is “Tanks!,” a take on the classic Atari game Combat, where players maneuver their tanks to defeat other tanks. These games are simple enough for beginners to play, yet have enough substance for experienced players to come back for maybe one or two more games. Multiplayer extends the life of the game, but that is still not much. When one considers buying Wii Play, one must not consider the full price of the game. Instead, players have to consider it as a controller purchase that happens to be bundled with a $15 tech demo. Taking into account that is still impossible to find extra Wii-motes, this is not a bad purchase. However, paying anymore than $15 for the game would be downright criminal. — Harold Li
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Friday, February 23, 2007
Personal account shines a positive light on the Opus Dei
Dystopia asks the question...
Even if you do not agree with Dr. Hahnâ€™s conclusions, this book will give you fresh insight and true and deeper understanding of a growing movement within the Roman Catholic Church.
Ordinary Work, Extraordinary Grace: My Spiritual Journey in Opus Dei By Scott Hahn Doubleday
This extraordinary little book is unlike anything else out there about Opus Dei. There are books that both vilify and support or endorse Opus Dei, but this book is about personal journey, the positive, transformative, life-changing effects that being involved with the work has had upon one manâ€™s life. Unlike the fictional Da Vinci Code, which portrays Opus Dei as the ultimate evil, or even the supposedly non-fiction books Their Kingdom Come by Robert Hutchinson or Michael Walshâ€™s Opus Dei: An Investigation into the Powerful, Secretive Society Within the Catholic Church, this book is based upon a true story and personal experience. In this book, Hahn has an openness and transparency about his personal life seldom seen in authors writing about spiritual matters. Hahn opens up areas of his life for us to see; he shares mistakes he has made and how through the guidance of others he has learnt and grown with the help of the spirituality of Opus Dei. Dr. Hahn opens up the world of Opus Dei, through his coming into contact with a few men who were devout Catholics â€” men of faith and of the Word that influenced his spiritual growth in many ways. Hahn reveals the spirit/core/intent of Opus Dei in the order that he came to understand it. In this compact book, Hahn provides lively and accessible ex-
planations of key aspects of Opus Dei: â€œdivine filiation,â€? the idea that we are sons and daughters of God and the foundation of Opus Deiâ€™s spirituality to name a few. Also, he explains how ordinary work is a way of imitating Jesus and a way to share in Godâ€™s creation and the redemption of the world. He also explains Opus Dei as a â€œpersonal prelature,â€? and how that works, as well as the role of Opus Dei in the Catholic Church. Dr. Hahn also shows the important role of genuine friendship in spreading Christâ€™s message, and how some of those key friendships helped draw him into the Catholic Church, and Opus Dei. Dr Hahn states: â€œOpus Dei was someplace where I could feel at home. What were those reasons? First and foremost, its membersâ€™ apparent devotion to the Bible. Second was its warm ecumenism. Opus Dei was the first Catholic institution to welcome non-Catholics to co-operate in its apostolic labours. Third was how upright the lives of members were. Fourth was how ordinary their lives were. They were not theologians â€” they were dentists, engineers, journalists â€” but they were talking and living a theology I found attractive. Fifth, they espoused a holy ambition â€” a devout work ethic. Sixth, they practiced hospitality and gave their attention generously to my many questions. Seventh, they prayed. They made time for intimate prayer every day â€” true conversation with God. Dr. Hahn also gives a number of different definitions of what Opus Dei is throughout the book. He states that one of his favourite definitions of what Opus Dei is, came from a prayer card in the 1980s. He states: â€œOpus Dei is â€˜a way of sanctification in the daily work and in the fulfillment of the Christianâ€™s ordinary duties.â€™ Itâ€™s not just a method or prayer, or an institution in the Church, or a theological school. Itâ€™s â€˜a wayâ€™ and that way is wide enough to accommodate everyone whose days are filled with
honest work â€” at home with the kids, in a factory or an office, in the mines, or on the farm, or on the battlefield.â€? One of the latter definitions we are given by Hahn is: â€œThe spiritual life of Opus Dei is rich in devotional customs. Iâ€™ve heard its spirituality described as â€˜Trinitarian,â€™ â€˜eucharistic,â€™ â€˜christocentric,â€™ and â€˜Marian.â€™ It is all of those things â€” with a healthy dose of angelology thrown in â€” and it can be all those things because it boils down to divine filiation, a life of childhood. â€œThis unity of life built on the presence of God our Father, can and ought to be a daily reality,â€™ in the words of the founder.â€? Basically he says we are called to be children of God, and if we live that first and foremost, the other things will fall into place. Dr. Hahn states that he did not write this book to hold himself up as a model or to explain the specifics of Opus Dei. What he did was want to share how he has journeyed, and his journey overlaps with so many other believers. In that goal he did an excellent job. Dr. Scott Hahn is a professor of theology at the Franciscan University of Steubenville, Ohio. He is also an internationally renowned Catholic lecturer and apologist, and author. He has published numerous books including The Lambâ€™s Supper: The Mass as Heaven on Earth,Lord Have Mercy: The Healing Power of Confession, Understanding Our Father and Letter & Spirit. You may be familiar with many myths and legends surrounding the movement of Opus Dei; this book will give you firsthand insight into how much good the organization can help produce in a personâ€™s life. Even if you do not agree with Dr. Hahnâ€™s conclusions, this book will give you fresh insight and true and deeper understanding of a growing movement within the Roman Catholic Church. The bookâ€™s firsthand perspective, filled with personal stories, is warm, charming and hard to put down once you begin.
Y: The Last Man Written by Brian K. Vaughan D.C. Vertigo
Most men would be delighted at the possibility of being the sole source for heterosexual intercourse on the planet. All bikini-clad ladies dancing around the planet carrying me on one of those king thrones while they feed me grapes and massage my tender... scalp. Vaughanâ€™s dystopian epic Y: The Last Man proposes the complete opposite. Instead of fame and fornication, Yorick Brown is a man on the run. The series is more than just a gimmick. Itâ€™s a fantastic investigation
in to the nature of the human spirit and gender roles. When all the men are killed off by a plague, Vaughan paints a grim picture of the world. Male-dominated governments and militaries across the world are decimated. Brown makes his way throughout the world in hiding, toting along his main monkey Ampersand. Vaughan weaves a complicated tale throughout the series. Half the joy of Y is in his elegant and blunt storytelling. The characters are light and funny, but often face absolutely incredible challenges. Just when you think the story is getting too simple, an enormous plot twist redefines the last thirty pages. Y steps up the genre of so-called mature comics. It doesnâ€™t rely on any fantastic worlds or crazy superheroes. Instead Yâ€™s success stems from good old storytelling. At times some elements of the story seem insignificant. There are underlying bits, like pregnant astronauts, that donâ€™t play in to the bigger story as much as I would have liked them to. This is a minor flaw at best. While it does nag away at the storyteller in me, it also contributes a great deal to the believability of the series. Believability is Yâ€™s greatest strength. As far fetched as the gendricide is, Vaughan leaves the reader believing that if it happened, this is how it would go. Amazons and ninjas instead of oil and bikinis. â€” Tim Alamenciak
â€” Steven R. McEvoy
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SP-100 Forest Firefighting course, London, March 7-11 or Waterloo, March 14-18, 2007. To register, please call Wildfire Specialists Inc., 2233 Radar Road, Suite 5, Hanmer, Ontario, P3P 1R2. Toll free: 1-877-3815849. Ontario Ministry of Natural Resources accredited. No guarantee of employment.
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dent complex. Perfect for students, close to UW campus. Now renting May or September 2007. Call Perry now at 519-746-1411 for all the details and to set up a showing. Room for rent for a quiet individual in a detached home near both universities. Parking and all amenities. Please call 519-725-5348. Attention Cambridge School of Architecture students! Live conveniently and comfortably right across the street from school in this beautifully renovated apartment. 4, 8 and 12-month leases available with excellent signing bonuses and rental incentives! Call Perry at 519-746-1411 for more details. Only $395/month inclusive for newly renovated house located at 11 McDougall Road. Big rooms, five minutes from UW, on-site laundry, very close to bus stop. Contact 519585-1242 or rooms4students@gmail. com. A perfect four bedroom apartment to live in comfortably within a short walking distance to both campuses. Enjoy the convenience of living in a great location close to many shopping amenities and the life of Uptown Waterloo. Call Perry now at 519-7461411 to set up a viewing today. Available May 1, 2007 â€” minimum
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four-month lease, very clean, 372B Churchill Crescent. Six bedroom, each room is $350-$375/month plus utilities. Free parking, laundry facilities included, two common rooms with TV, two kitchens, wireless capability throughout house and internet jacks in every room, 15 minutes from campus. Call Andrew at 416-5270369 or e-mail andrew.chalabardo@ hotmail.com. Student room for rent at $400 per month starting in September. Three bedroom townhouse available now for $850/month plus utilities. Call 519-721-2178.
HELP WANTED Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. Minimum eight-month commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Mader, K-W Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2. GolfNorth, summer employment for 2007 golf season. Proshop, turf, food and beverage departments. Fourteen locations in Acton, K-W, St. George, Erin, Woodstock, Fergus, Paris, Orangeville. E-mail resume to jobs@ golfnorth.ca; www.golfnorth.ca. Summer camp counselors on campus interviews for premier camps in Massachusetts â€“ positions available for talented, energetic and fun loving students as counselors in all team sports including soccer and lacrosse, all individual sports such as tennis and golf, waterfront and pool activities and specialty activities including arts, dance, theatre, gymnastics, newspaper, rockertry and radio. Great salaries, room, board, travel and U.S. summer work visa. June 16 to August 11. Enjoy a great summer that promises to be unforgettable. Apply now! For more information www. campdanbee.com (girls) or 1-800392-3752 or mark@campdanbee. com. Interviewer will be on campus Wednesday, March 7 from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. in the Student Life Centre, main floor.
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 2007
Campus Bulletin UPCOMING
Tuesday, February 27, 2007 The annual TD Canada Trust/Walter Bean Lecture will be hosting the Honourable Michael Harcourt talk entitled â€œCanadaâ€™s Cities: Competitive and Sustainable?â€? from 3:30 to 4:30 at Humanities Theatre, Hagey Hall. Free admission with light refreshments to follow lecture. Thursday, March 1, 2007 Rotunda Gallery presents â€œsalonâ€? by Liz Phillips March 1 to 31 at 200 King Street, W., Kitchener. Call 519741-3400, ext 3381 for more info. EWB Day â€“ we can end poverty, we can do it! Join us in the SLC for â€œscreamerâ€? events. For more info firstname.lastname@example.org. â€œExpressions of Social Justiceâ€? film festival presents â€œShelter From The Stormâ€? along with opening ceremonies, 7 p.m. at Princess Twin Cinema, 46 King Street, N., Waterloo. Hosted by Masters of Social Work at WLU and Bachelor of Social Work, Renison College, UW.
Win up to $1,000 for your writing! Students in third/fourth years qualify for STCâ€™s Heidi Thiessen Memorial Award for Student Technical Writing. Visit www.stc-soc.org/awards/student.php for details and an application.
Distress Line volunteers wanted â€“ Canadian Mental Health Association is seeking caring volunteers to provide supportive listening and crisis deescalation to callers living in Waterloo Region. Please call 519744-7645, ext 300. Student career assistants needed for 2007-2008. Career Services is looking for students to fill two volunteer positions. Depending on the position, you will gain valuable job search, marketing and career-related skills by either promoting events and services or by helping other students in their career planning and job search. Open to regular and co-op students who are creative and possess strong interpersonal and communication skills. Applications available in Career Services, TC 1214, or from our web page at careerservices.uwaterloo.ca. Summer volunteer opportunities with Grand River Hospital/Cancer Centre. Information sessions will be in March, April and early May. Please call 519-749-4300, ext 2613 or e-mail email@example.com for details. Volunteers needed â€“ volunteer with a child at their school and help improve their self-esteem and confidence. One to three hours a week commitment. Call Canadian Mental Health at 519-744-7645, ext 229. Volunteer Action Centre â€“ connecting talent and community â€“ The Arthritis Society is looking for a variety of people to assist in their signature campaign for Juvenile Arthritis. Call Wendy at 519-743-2820 ext 103 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation is looking for volunteers in registration and end of evening tear down for their Diabetes Research Symposium. For info call 519-745-2426 or e-mail email@example.com before March 1. Give someone the gift of friendship by visiting a senior two to three hours once a week. Call 519-742-6502 or firstname.lastname@example.org. K-W Sexual Assault Support Centre is recruiting volunteers for Board of Directors. Fax cover letter/resume to Mastora at email@example.com or fax 519571-0522 before March 23. The Food Bank of Waterloo Region is looking for individuals to take on supervisory roles within the warehouse for a six month commitment. For info call Rose at 519-743-5576 ext 226 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. Hospice of Waterloo Region needs client support volunteers for three to four hours per week for one year. For info call 519-894-8350 ext 7484 or e-mail
email@example.com. Volunteer Marketing Intern needed at RBC Dominion Securities Inc. starting in February, 10-15 hr/week. This internship will involve assisting an Investment Advisor with various marketing projects throughout the term in question. The intern will be required to pursue various tasks requiring strong communication, organizational and computer literacy skills. Qualified individuals are students with a strong initiative, direction and desire to succeed. E-mail cover letter and resume to jeff.gates@ rbc.com, attention Jeff Gates. Volunteer Services â€” City of Waterloo â€” 519-888-6488 or 519-888-0409 or volunteer @city.waterloo.on.ca â€” â€œOne Book, One Communityâ€?, seeks avid program ambassador. â€œGraphic designerâ€? required for Waterloo special events.
ANNOUNCEMENTS The GO! Music Festival takes place on March 9 and 10 in Uptown Waterloo. Over 30 live acts; five licensed venues. Details: beatgoeson.com or myspace.com/gomusicfestival. Travel Cuts inks exclusive deal to offer Canadaâ€™s cheapest flights to Europe and the UK for students. For info call 1-866-246-9762 or travelcuts.com/contact us. Hey students! Tune in weekly to â€œMorning Driveâ€? with DJ Cool at CKMS 100.3FM for important info on what is happening locally, on campus and in your area. Music, fun and more â€” firstname.lastname@example.org. Exchange opportunities to RhoneAlpes, France and Baden-Wurttemberg, Germany for the 2007-2008 academic year â€“ to undergraduates and graduates. For additional informatiton and application form/deadlines contact Maria Lango, IPO, Needles Hall, room 1043, ext 33999 or by email: email@example.com. Cigarette study â€” smokers needed. $70 cash paid. Please state your name, age and brand of cigarettes smoked most often. Call Sandy at 519-578-0873 or e-mail this info to firstname.lastname@example.org. Turnkey Desk Recycles Batteries. Drop your old batteries to the blue bin at Turnkey.
FINANCIAL AID February/March 2007 Stop by the Student Awards & Financial Aid Office to see if your OSAP grant cheques are available. March 15 â€” last day to submit undergraduate bursary appeals for winter term. March 23 â€” last day to sign confirmation of enrollment for winter only and fall and winter terms. March 30 â€” recommended submission date for OSAP rollover form to add spring term. Check out our web site for a full listing of all our scholarships and bursaries. http://safa.uwaterloo.ca.
Monday, February 26 â€” Writing CVs and Cover Letters, TC2218, 12 to 1:30 p.m. Tuesday, February 27 â€” Work Search Strategies: Special Session for International Students, TC 2218B, 4:30 to 6 p.m. Career Interest Assessment, TC 1112, 2 to 4 p.m. Wednesday, February 28 â€” Exploring Your Personality Type (Part 1), TC 1112, 2:30 to 4:00 p.m. Successfully Negotiating Job Offers, TC 1208, 3:30 to 4:30 p.m.
St. Bedeâ€™s chapel at Renison College offers worship on Sundays at 10:30 a.m. or take a break mid-week with a brief silence followed by Celtic noon prayers on Wednesdays. Beginning Janaury 21 there will also be a 4 p.m. worship. For more info call 519-8844404, ext 28604 or email@example.com.
Friday, February 23, 2007
firstname.lastname@example.org Science Editor: Rob Blom Science Assistant: Yolani Hettiarachchi
Haloes, joints and water on Mars Conscientious objection in health care procedures
does not object to the requested procedure?” Questions were also used to meaA study published in the February 8, sure how religious the responding 2007 New England Journal of Medicine physicians were. This was done by explores the attitudes of physicians assessing their intrinsic religiosity (the toward their responsibilities to treat- extent to which a person embraces ments, which they object to on moral their religion as the “master motive” in their life) and their religious grounds. A heated debate has been ongoing affiliations. It was found that most physicians since the introduction of highly controversial medical procedures, such as find it ethical for doctors to explain emergency contraceptives. Histori- their moral objections to patients (63 cally, healthcare professionals have per cent of the respondents). Only 86 per cent of had the right to the participatremove theming physicians s e l ve s f r o m When analyzing the believed that participating in abortions or asphysicians who were they were obligated to pressisting in patient more religious, it was ent all options suicides, even if to the patient, the procedures found that they are and only 71 are legally sanctioned. more likely to describe per cent would refer the paThe study tient to another sent out a self- their objections to the clinician who administered patient and are less does not object questionnaire to the requestto U.S. physilikely to present all ed procedure. cians who were When ana65 years old or options to the patient… lyzing the phyyounger. There sicians who was a modest sample of psychiatrists and physi- were more religious, it was found that cians who were particularly involved they were more likely to describe their objections to the patient and less likely in death and severe suffering. Three questions, which read as to present all options to the patient or refer them to someone who did not follows, were closely examined: “If a patient requests a legal medical object to the requested procedure. It seems that the practice of procedure, but the patient’s physician objects to the procedure for medicine truly depends on the moral religious or moral reasons, would grounds of the particular physician, it be ethical for the physician to while the medical community as a plainly describe to the patient why whole has yet to decide on a course he or she objects to the requested of action, if any is indicated. What procedure?” “Does the physician this all means to the patient is that she have an obligation to present all pos- may need to talk proactively with her sible options to the patient, includ- physician to gain insight on his beliefs ing information about obtaining and how those beliefs affect the level the requested procedure?” “Does of his service. the physician have an obligation to refer the patient to someone who email@example.com Faisal Naqib
courtesy NASA/JPL/Univ. of Arizona
Evidence of ancient fluid flow along fractures in Mars’ Meridiani Planum region taken by the High Resolution Imaging Science Experiment camera on NASA’s Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter. David Judah staff reporter
Colour images taken by NASA’s Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter’s High Resolution Imaging Science Experiment (HiRise) camera are providing astronomy enthusiasts with beautiful, new, high detailed eye candy. But for Mars scientists these images paint an image of a hydrated planet. Among other things, these pictures show bleached white bedrock atop raised areas surrounding linear fractions in the rock called joint. Researchers believe these raised areas represent evidence of a dynamic liquid system on Mars. These white marks, what scientists call “haloes,” result from liquids seeping up through the rock and depositing minerals that bleach
the rock. The other quality of these haloes is that they make the outlying rock harder, preventing erosion. As time passes the area around the halo is worn away by the elements, leaving only the bleached rock, now raised. The resulting formation is distinct and present on Mars’ surface. And where there are haloes, there may have been water. “On Earth, bleaching of rock surrounding a fracture is a clear indication of chemical interactions between fluids circulating within the fracture and the host rock,” Chris H. Okubo and Alfred S. McEwen reported in their paper covering the HiRise finding, published in Science. While this may seem like evidence of water there are other explanations for the haloes. One is that the minerals were deposited by a source other
than a liquid. For instance wind or volcanic activity could have created the structures. Another is that a liquid besides water was the source of the haloes. A likely candidate would be liquid carbon dioxide. Regardless of some doubt, researchers are hopeful that we may still find evidence of liquid water on Mars, present or past, and, hopefully, the potential for life. Unfortunately the HiRise camera is running short on time. NASA has recently announced that some of the detectors on the HiRise camera are starting to fail. Regardless, the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter has contributed much in the exploration of Mars and has pointed out many directions for further study. firstname.lastname@example.org
Controversy over mandatory HPV vaccination Basma Anabtawi staff reporter
Many states are currently racing to publicize a new vaccine for the human papilloma virus (HPV). The rush for the action has been caused by the findings correlating the HPV virus to cervical cancer. The sexually transmitted disease vaccine is to be given to young girls age 10 to 12 in three doses. The HPV virus includes around 100 different strains ranging from low risk to high risk infections. The disease can often be detected using the annual Pap test due to the abnormalities shown in the results. Early awareness of infection could often aid in preventing other health complications. The HPV virus infects both men and women, but causes many more problems in females such as the possible developments of cervical cancer. According to the Department of Health and Human Services, approximately 20 million people are currently infected with
HPV and around 6.2 million people acquire a new genital HPV infection each year. The rush on the immunization is causing the rise of multiple ethical and economical problems. In regards to ethical and religious concerns, many believe that the vaccine will encourage and increase unprotected sexual activities at younger ages due to misconceptions of the vaccine which only protects from the one type of sexually transmitted disease. Infections of bacteria and viruses such as chlamydia, gonorrhea and worst of all HIV cannot be protected by any vaccines — only via the use of safer sex methods or abstinence. Another issue to face with introducing mandatory vaccine is the high cost of the doses which is around $400 for the three needle course. Texas state governor Rick Perry is one of the first to order that all young girls be vaccinated. However, many of the legislators are currently focused on overturn-
ing his decision and putting the order on hold until better strategies come around. Many scientists find this pause and slow reaction to such a great innovation in the field of medicinal health to be a sign of ignorance due to the success of the immunization. It is rather disappointing that all the disadvantages have nothing to do with the actual vaccine which could save millions of women around the world. Many advocates of the vaccination are suggesting compromises in slowing down the mandatory act of the immunization and focusing on getting the medication to those most prone to HPV infections and those with family histories of cervical cancer. The hope is that all the legislation complications will be solved and the medication will reach the young females in hopes of decreasing the cervical cancer occurrences world wide. email@example.com
Yolanie Hettiarachchi assisstant science editor
Secretive Saqqara unveiled
Archaeologists in Egypt have discovered tombs that are more than 3,000 years old. One mud brick tomb has been shown to belong to a scribe and his wife. Along with the butler’s grave and two painted coffins, the tomb — which features wooden statues and a door with delicate carvings — was discovered near the Step Pyramid of King Djoser, the oldest pyramid in Egypt. The excavation’s director, Maarten Raven, has expressed the hope that the site will be open to visitors. While Egypt has been explored for more than a century, it is estimated that only onethird of what lies under Saqqara (the region of the most ancient pyramid and burial site of kings) has been revealed. Zahi Hawass, Egypt’s antiquities chief, claims that there are several other relics yet to be discovered in this particular area. Ancient frog discovered in Mexico
Researchers in Chiapas, Mexico City, have found a tree frog that has been preserved in amber for 25 million years — a deduction based on the geological strata where the amber was found. The frog was discovered by a miner in 2005, who sold it to a private collector. Later, the frog was lent to scientists for study. Ac-
cording to David Grimaldi, a biologist and curator at the American Museum of Natural History, the frog, which measures about half an inch in length, is the first of its kind in Mexico. Amber — a stone formed by ancient tree sap — has preserved a few frogs in the Dominican Republic as well. These, like the Chiapas frog, are of the genus Craugastor. Its descendants still inhabit the region. Gerado Carbot of the Chiapas Natural History and Ecology Institute, has expressed that he would like to extract a DNA sample from the frog, but said that this is unlikely to occur as the unique piece is very rare. In addition, the extraction may not be so fruitful: genetic material tends to disintegrate over time. George O. Poinar of Oregon State University has contradicted this claim, saying that the DNA
could be obtained if air has not entered in and oxidized the sample. A closer look at auroras
The NASA Time History of Events and Macroscale Interactions During Substorms (THEMIS) mission, which is comprised of five identical probes, aims to study the colourful displays in the skies. Auroras originate amidst charged particles that billow away from the Sun. They eventually collide with gas molecules at rest, exciting them to give off light. The green band of light brightens, then break into many red, purple and white bands, all of which alternate colours. These events are termed auroral substorms; the goal of the THEMIS is to examine christine ogley how they are initiated. There are three events within Earth’s magnetic field that are associated with the onset of substorms: current disruption, auroral eruption and magnetic reconnection. According to THEMIS scientist Dr. David Sibeck,
Friday, February 23, 2007
the probes will each have role in determining how these events occur, from the identification of the start of the substorm, to the pace of the dispersion of the substorm. The satellites will map the North American continent every four days for a duration of 15 hours each time. Sports injuries may respond to artificial ligaments
Located behind the kneecap, the anterior cruciate ligament can tear when placed under excessive strain, making it a common sports injury. Due to its inability to heal effectively, some patients receive ligament transplants from their own body or from donors. However, there is a shortage of donated ligaments. Cato Laurencin at the University of Virginia claims that a ligament replacement may be the solution to this problem. Comprised of polylactide — a biodegradable polyester — the structure was tested on rabbits, who showed normal mobility after their knees were replaced with the material. Eventually researchers also removed the structure from the knees, and found that it was 50 per cent stronger than regular transplant tissue after 30 weeks. Collagen-producing cells and blood vessels had also grown within the material — evidence of the body regenerating healthy ligament tissue. A full study has yet to be conducted. — With files from The Examiner, New Scientist, and BBCNews. firstname.lastname@example.org
Cars go greener, glitzier at the Canadian International Autoshow Environmental issues at the forefront of car industry developments, under the pressure for green vehicles Adam Gardiner staff reporter
The Canadian International Autoshow, running this year from February 16 to 25, is an annual extravaganza in which the public can look at, sit in and learn about the cars of the current and coming model years. It’s also a chance for car companies to highlight their brand’s top features and technology, making the Autoshow a good indicator of how the industry is doing as a whole. This year, it’s the environment that’s on everyone’s minds, particularly with the recent attention climate change has received on the political stage and from experts in the field. But unfortunately, the political parties aren’t the only ones being criticized for not doing enough to fight the emission of greenhouse gases. A study done by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency determined that “the average fuel economy for all model year 2006 light-duty vehicles is estimated to be 21.0 mpg.” That figure is the same as it was in 1994 — and is actually five percent lower than estimates done 20 years ago. So is the world of motor vehicles going to be greener in 2007? A little bit. Hybrid cars are a particular point of interest, having sold over 50,000 units in North America last year. The technology, which made its debut in the North American market seven years ago, combines gasoline and battery-powered electric engines in a setup that requires little maintenance and no external battery charging. The Toyota Prius and Honda Civic hybrids continue to garner the most attention in this category, especially because both captured the 2007 Energuide award for most fuel-efficient vehicles in their respective classes.
Nissan is joining the club this year with a hybrid version of its mid-sized Altima sedan, which uses some of the technology developed by Toyota for their Camry. Saturn is also introducing new hybrid models in the form of “Green Line” editions of its VUE sport-utility vehicle and Aura sedan. Other companies are pursuing different options. Jeep, for example, is turning to diesel, following up on its diesel-powered Liberty SUV with a diesel Grand Cherokee too. Jeep estimates the new Grand Cherokee to be 30 per cent more fuel efficient than in other models, producing 20 per cent fewer CO2 emissions than in other Jeeps. Honda, meanwhile, has come out with a natural-gas powered version of the Civic, although this car is only available in two states in the U.S. at the moment. Because natural gas burns cleaner than conventional gasoline, the natural-gas Civic, even though similar to other models in fuel efficiency, has already been declared “the cleanest internalcombustion vehicle on Earth” by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency. So if the newest cars and trucks are anything to go by, the automotive industry is slowly beginning to go greener. In the meantime, there are still lots of other technology to peruse. The Lexus LS460, for instance, uses a combination of sonar sensors, cameras and electronic controls to park itself. And BMW is offering HD radio, a combination of digital and analog radio signals that nearly equal CD quality, on a single channel, in three of its model lines. It looks like the journey to a more environmentally friendly future is going to be a fun one for sure. email@example.com
Friday, February 23, 2007
firstname.lastname@example.org Sports Editor: Shawn Bell Sports Assistant: Doug Copping
Womenâ€™s basketball done after round one Season over after 84-68 loss at Brock Adnan Khan reporter
The first round of the playoffs on February 17 saw the Waterloo Warriors get knocked off by the Brock Badgers by a score of 84-68. The Brock offense proved to be too much on this day, scoring 84 points on a usually stellar Waterloo defense. The Badgers moved the ball around well with 24 assists. The key performer for Brock was Becky Gallant. She finished with 30 points going 10/13 from the field and 7/8 from three point range. The Warriors did not have an answer for her on the defensive end. Physically, Waterloo kept up with Brock throughout the game. The battle on the glass was dead even with both teams notching 42 rebounds. This just wasnâ€™t Waterlooâ€™s day, the shots were not dropping and yet again the Warriors struggled to get any sort of offensive rhythm going.
The Warriors shot just 34 per cent from the field and 21 per cent from three point range. Those types of percentages just donâ€™t add up to wins. Throughout the game Waterloo had a tough time controlling the ball, committing 24 turnovers on only nine assists. Kim Lee and Gillian Maxwell led the way for the Warriors. Lee scored 21 points and notched four steals; Maxwell had yet another amazing game with 14 points and 16 rebounds. Although this loss hurts, the Warriors have absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. Throughout the season these girls played tough, gritty basketball and wouldnâ€™t allow anyone to push them around. This team showed a work ethic this season that should be admired by all and their tenacious play kept fans excited the whole year. They were as good as any in the OUA this season when playing at their best. With more experience and this loss in mind, the Waterloo Warrior womenâ€™s basketball team is going to be a scary one to play against next year.
Waterloo falls to Mac in Quarterfinals
courtesy Carol Onate
McMaster was too much for the Warriors in the quarter-finals, winning three tight sets. The Warriors finished a solid season third in a good West division. Expect big things next year.
Curlers have golden touch
For the second time in the past three years, the Waterloo womenâ€™s curling team is the best in the province. On the strength of four consecutively stolen points, the Warrior contingent of skip Marika Bakewell, vice Jackie Craig, second Amber Gebhardt, lead Jenna Long and alternate Nathalie GagnĂŠ defeated their crosstown rivals from Laurier to take the championship match, 6-1. And by virtue of their great shot making all weekend long at the Westmount Golf and Country Club, the girls will also now go on as representatives from Ontario at the ASHAM Canadian Curling Championships to be held in Winnipeg from March 21-26. In many ways, this was a team designed from its outset for greatness, and not just great shot-making. It was nearly four years ago when, after packing up from the final varsity tryout of the 2003-04 season, head coach Scott Allen revealed his conviction that he had found the nucleus of a dynamite curling team for the future. â€œI already know who my back-end players are going to be,â€? Allen had confided, referring to Bakewell and Craig. â€œNow I just have to figure out where the other pieces are going to fit.â€? As it turned out, he neednâ€™t have looked too far or for too long. In addition to Gebhardt, who was selected in that original tryout, Allen was able to add Jenna Long to the mix the following year. A consummate front-end player with delicate touch and excellent sweeping ability, Long turned in an MVP performance last year. Yet she gladly shared some of her duties this season when Quebec junior (under-20) finalist and Canada Games participant Nathalie GagnĂŠ fell into the teamâ€™s hands at this yearâ€™s tryouts. To be fair, the curling resumĂŠs on this team were already pretty deep. With claim to four junior provincial championships and three national appearances between them, there was never a shortage of talent. But this year, as in their gold medal run of 2005, there is a certain element of je ne sais quoi. â€œWe have a great team this year â€” both on and off the ice,â€? said Gebhardt by way of explanation. â€œNot only [are we] five great curlers, but we all have compatible personalities.â€?
courtesy Steve Brooks
And a very good coach, who â€” now celebrating his fourth OUA title in 10 years â€” knew well enough not to micromanage the accomplished athletes under his care. â€œThis year, the skips were selected first and then had full input into team make-up and all other aspects that directly affected the team,â€? Allen explained after OUA west-sectionals. â€œThe final decision was mine, but unlike in past years, their participation was greatly encouraged.â€? Which suited his veterans just fine. Craig, a fourth-year kinesiology student, stated â€œThe difference between my first year and my fourth year is that my teammates, coach and I all sat down to figure out what worked best for the team. There were compromises for all of us, but being able to gel on and off the ice is the key to success.â€? And success for any team, even for one as promising as this particular edition of Waterloo, can be an elusive thing. Case in point, the ladies found themselves on the brink of being eliminated from playoff contention early in the season as a result of a heartbreaking 8-7 loss at the hands of unheralded Windsor. Saved only by three critical victories over Laurier, Toronto and Trent in the OUA crossovers, the ladies faced another daunting challenge in the championship round-robin match play. After previously besting Trent 11-3, the Warriors found themselves trailing the top-seeded Western Mustangs 6-2 after five ends when Allen came onto the ice to talk to the team during the mid-point break. â€œWell, I think that weâ€™ve given them a big enough lead now, donâ€™t you?â€? he mused.
Translation: I trust you. Youâ€™ve got them right where you want them. Now go get them. â€œThat comment just lifted our spirits,â€? recalled Craig. â€œEven when we gave up one more point in the sixth end, we knew that we could come back from that deficit as we have many times before.â€? And, after completing the 9-8 comeback in 11 ends, the team didnâ€™t look back. Playing with a renewed confidence, the Warriors never trailed in the final against Laurier. â€œI felt like we had significant control throughout the game,â€? suggested Bakewell. â€œHowever, we knew that it would only take a few small mistakes to let Laurier back in the game. I thought that the girls did a great job of staying loose but focused.â€? Conceded sophomore Laurier skip Hollie Nicol, â€œI thought that Waterloo played really well, especially Marika [Bakewell]. We had a couple of chances to get back in the game, but our tolerances were a little bit off.â€? For a few of the graduating members â€” Bakewell, Craig and Long â€” this will be their last OUA title, but not their swan song. The national varsity championships in Winnipeg leave much more to accomplish. â€œThe last time that we were able to go to nationals, we played well and placed third,â€? assessed Craig. â€œSince that time, I believe that we have not only grown as a team, but also improved on our game. â€œI have confidence in us to take it to the next level this year and bring the title home to Waterloo.â€? email@example.com
THIS WEEK IN ATHLETICS
Menâ€™s OUA Quarter Final Western vs Waterloo Waterloo leads series 1-0
Womenâ€™s Saturday, Feb 24 Waterloo vs Toronto 2 p.m., CIF
Game 2: Sat., Feb. 24 at Western, 7:30 pm Game 3: if necessary Sun., Feb. 25, 7:30 pm CIF Arena Adults: $9 ; Students: $7 ~ listen to all games live at CKMSfm.ca
For Up-To-Date Playoff Schedule visit www.athletics.uwaterloo.ca
ATHLETES OF THE WEEK
KIRK EWEN, TRACK & FIELD A 3rd year Optometry student from Watson, Saskatchewan, placed first in the 300m at the Hal Brown Memorial Track and Field meet in Toronto this past weekend. He is also an integral member of the 4x200m and 4x400m teams which are both ranked 8th in the CIS.
MARIKA BAKEWELL, CURLING A 4th year Law and Ciminology student from Mississauga, Ontario, led the Warriors to the OUA gold medal at the OUA Championship this past weekend in Waterloo. The Warriors defeated the Wilfrid Laurier Golden Hawks in the final on Sunday afternoon by a score of 6-1. This is the second time in four years Marika has led Waterloo to an OUA gold medal.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Waterloo’s mens hockey Waterloo, ranked sixth in the country, opens the beat Mustangs and then Laurier/Lakehead to
Friday, February 23, 2007
road to the Nationals
As of press time the Warriors just beat Western 3-2 in game one. Ryan Macgregor scored the winner with two minutes left in the third.
playoffs against Western.They’ll need to win the West and earn a berth at Nationals
Lace up with the Warriors Matt Levicki reporter
Editors Note: Matt Levicki plays centre for the Waterloo Warriors. “There is a dream that lives deep in every heart. Heroes carve their name, legends leave their mark.” Those first two lines may sound familiar to you. They are from a song called “The Chance,” that CBC plays each spring when the NHL playoffs roll around. It is a song that sends shivers through your body. It is a song that captures what it takes to lift Lord Stanley’s Cup high over your head. We know in the coming weeks that we will not be fighting for the Stanley Cup. Instead, we will be fighting for the OUA Championship and a chance to play for the University Cup. It is what we will go down to block shots for. It is what we will drive hard to the net for. And it is what we will take a punch in the face for. The University Cup is not the Stanley Cup, but it is still our chance. It is a chance to leave our mark, to do something great. It is a chance to be remembered. In our dressing room, there is a photo of every Waterloo Warriors team since hockey was started at UW in 1957. But there are two team photos that stand out from the rest, and for that reason they have been placed on a separate wall. They are the 1973/74 National Champion Warriors and the 1995/96 OUA Champion Warriors. We do not know any of the men in these photos, but we remember them. It is our quest to be placed alongside of them. The first opponent in our quest will be the Western Mustangs, a bitter and hated rival. The majority of our current Warriors team were around two years ago when we lost to Western in the second round of playoffs. It was a difficult defeat, but looking back, perhaps it was a stepping stone to bigger and better things. In that playoff series two years ago we fought hard, but Western proved to be the better team. We knew we had to get better, and we did. During the regular season this year, we beat Western all four times. All four
Sights set on OUA championship James Rowe staff reporter
After a stellar regular season, the Waterloo Warriors men’s hockey team begins their quest for an OUA Championship this week in their playoff series with the Western Mustangs. The Warriors received a first round bye after winning the Far West division regular season title with a 21-4-2-1 record. Their 45 points were good enough for a tie for first overall in the OUA with Laurier. Waterloo is the second seed, however, having lost both their encounters with the Golden Hawks this season. Coming into the playoffs as the sixth-ranked team in Canada, the Warriors are expected to make a long playoff run and be serious contenders for both the OUA and CIS Championships. The top two teams from the OUA advance to the CIS Championships, which will be held March 22-25 in Moncton, New Brunswick. To earn a berth in Moncton, the Warriors will have to win two best of three playoff series. The road will be a difficult one, beginning with the series against Western. The Mustangs were 17-6-3-2 in the regular season for a total of 39 points, good enough for second place behind UW in the Far West division.
They come into the series with momentum and will be riding an emotional high after eliminating the Brock Badgers. The Mustangs won the series in double overtime in the deciding game thanks to a Kevin Richardson goal in front of their home fans. Waterloo comes into the playoffs with a potent offensive attack. The Warriors have seven players who scored over 20 points on the season, led by centre David Edgeworth who had 19 goals and 16 assists. Other top scorers include Shane Hart, David Philpott, Sean Roche, Kevin Hurley, Jordan Brenner and Ryan Macgregor. UW’s young blueline corps will be anchored by Sean Moir and Joel Olszowka. They will have to shut down the Mustangs’ top offensive players, namely Salvatore Peralta and Steve Benedetti, both of whom finished the season with over a point per game. The two teams met four times this season, with Waterloo winning all four times. None of the games were decided by more than two goals and one was a 2-1 overtime win. The closeness of the games means that a premium will be placed on goaltending, an area in which both teams are strong. UW’s Curtis Darling finished the season with a 14-5-1 record, 2.82 goals against average and 0.92 save percentage. His counterpart, UWO’s Brad Topping comes in with a 13-9-1 record, 2.42 goals against average, and 0.92 save percentage. The winner of the series will face the winner of the Laurier-Lakehead series in the OUA semi-finals. Waterloo won game one 3-2 at press time. Game two will be held Saturday, February 24 at 7:30 p.m. at Thompson Arena on the UWO campus in London. If necessary the third game will take place the following night, Sunday February 25, 7:30 p.m., at the CIF Arena in Waterloo. firstname.lastname@example.org
OUA Quarterfinals against Western
Game 1 Wednesday February 21 7:30 p.m. in Waterloo Columbia Ice Fields (3-2 Waterloo) Game 2 Saturday February 24 7:30 p.m. in London Thompson Arena (listen live on webcast: http://www.ckmsfm.ca)
Game 3 (if necessary) Sunday February 25 7:30 p.m. in Waterloo Columbia Ice Fields
Far West TEAM
13 10 5 31
13 10 5 31
14 12 2 30
10 17 1 21
Mid East W
7 14 7 21
Sean Moir clears a Mustang from Darling’s lane in Waterloo’s game 1 victory. Laurier won 4-2 in the other West game 1 . of the games were intense battles that came down to the final minutes. Not one guy in our dressing room thinks that means anything now, though. Now, a new season has begun, and with that comes new challenges and pressures. The OUA playoffs are best of three series. This means each game is of crucial importance. There is no time to get warmed up in a series or take a night off. There is also no room for excuses such as blaming the referee or complaining about injuries. The playoffs are about heart and guts —who has the biggest and who has more. The playoffs are about lining up against your opponent at a face-off and thinking to yourself, “This guy is not going to get by me.” That is where the pressure comes from — knowing that any game, any period, any shift, or any one on one battle could decide the series. There is no tomorrow, and no hockey player would have it any other way. You can be a hero or you can wake up the next
Far East W
8 14 5 22
7 16 4 19
11 12 3 27
2 23 2
8 16 3 20
morning and say to yourself, ‘could have,’ ‘would have’ or ‘should have.’ We enter into the series against Western coming off a bye week that will leave us rested and anxious to get back on the ice. The bye week also gave us a chance to do some extra preparation in practice. Our coaching staff is leaving nothing to chance. They are making sure we are ready mentally and physically, as they have done all season long. All of the hard work from training camp throughout the regular season has brought us to a 21-4-2-1. That is a very impressive record any team would be proud of. However, at this point, no one cares about regular season records. The only thing that matters, the only thing anyone judges, is what happens in the playoffs. I do not think anyone remembers who had the best regular season record last year or the year before, but what they do remember is who won it all. Winning in the playoffs is the only thing that matters. It will be the only thing that ever matters. That is what goes through our heads every day when we show up at the rink and step onto the ice. We think of the hard work we put in all year long. We think of what we have to do to win one little battle that could make the difference in a series. And we think about winning now, in the playoffs, because that is the only way we will be remembered. Then maybe, 10 years from now, when we current Warriors have moved on, some young man will look up at a third team photo on the wall and wonder about what it took to get there. His chance will be right before him, just as ours is now, and he will lace up his skates thinking the same thing we are — the last lines from that same CBC song. “It is worth the sweat, and it is worth the pain. Cause the chance may never come again.”
Friday, February 23, 2007
Triathlon Part 2: swimming Brody Hohman reporter
NBA Kelenna Azubuike – He averaged 18 ppg in the final 3 games before the break and has 1.4 threes per game this season. He’s flying way under the radar but with Baron Davis out he could be useful. Charlie Bell – 19/6/3 in his last 3 and he has 78 threes in 54 games this year. When Michael Redd returns he should dip a little but he make a solid start right now.
NHL David Backes – He’s got goals in last 6 games and is a +5 with 22 PIM in 28 games this year. He’s a good play while hot and has the potential to keep it going. Brandon Bochenski – He’s on a major hot streak since being acquired by Boston. 10pts/+2/10PIM in 18 games. J.P. Dumont – 4 points and +5 in his last 4 and like everyone on Nashville his plus-minus will be strong the rest of the way.
Travelling This Summer? • Canada's lowest airfares for students • Exclusive selection of student travel options It’s that simple. Seriously, for your travels this coming summer you really should come to us first. After all, you do own us and we've been doing this for over 35 years so we really know our stuff. Most importantly we will save you money and can offer you a selection of student focused products that no one else can touch. Humbly put, we are pretty damn good. Come and see for yourself. University Shops Plaza 170 University Ave. W (519) 886-0400 1-888-FLY-CUTS (359-2887)
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Klaponski goes back to the tri-club to jump in the pool. David Klaponski reporter
Some people might have read the triathlon club article three weeks ago wondering what was going on. The cost of membership was not announced and I really only discussed the bike portion of a triathlon. In fact, I didn’t really answer the question: What is a triathlon?! Well I’m back to fix my comedy of errors. A triathlon comprises of a set of three sports and most commonly include a swim, a bike and a run, all done in succession. Triathlons can also include other events such as cross-country skiing. Distances vary from races where you swim 400m, bike 10km, and run 2.5km, to the longer races such as the Ironman, where competitors swim close to 4km, bike 180km, and run a whole marathon. Winning times for the Ironman are between eight to nine hours. This week, I’ve gone through a triathlon club swim class and now, hopefully, I have a broader view of this ever burgeoning sport. Feeling a little self conscious about wearing a speedo for the first time ever, my fears are quelled as I see that everyone else in the club is also wearing the skin tight bathing suit and I would probably feel more out of place if I didn’t have a speedo. Plus, in
a class of mostly women, I’m pretty sure I am not the only one feeling self conscious about the way I look. I’ve been swimming at the PAC pool before but this time I’m set to follow the triathlon club routine. The campus rec instructor Jordan Andersen goes through the routine for the day and though his terminology confuses me somewhat, he writes the routine on a blackboard and I easily understand the arduous task ahead of me. I’m basically set to go for an Olympic Triathlon swim, which is 1.5km. Of course I took a bunch of breaks in between every few laps but doing 60-plus laps of the pool is not easy without breaks. Actually, in contrast to the bike class of the triathlon club, the swim session gives out a different type of community vibe. Maybe it’s the fact that you are submerged for most of the class underwater and have little time to pay attention to anyone else in the class. Though the feeling is not the same, the vibe is still present. Just the fact that you know everyone here is actually working on the same thing makes you work on your own goals with a more focused attitude. While I’ve only taken part in a couple of these triathlon sessions, the bike and swim (I’ll do the run next), I now see how hard these people train. Maybe that is why the Triclub community helps so much.
Third year UW honours science student and Triclub member Corrin Harris says that she is addicted. She says that the club approach is really important to her personally. “Its more of a social thing I think. We do have fun, we are not really that competitive at this point. A lot of people are just there to exercise and to have other people to work out with.” My arms were like jello after the hour long swim but I feel really good. I worked hard and pushed myself the whole time. And although the person I was paired up with in my lane was way faster than me, he helped to push me. I feel like I’ve really accomplished something of value after the long swim and while I am tired, my mind is satisfied. Co-president of the club and Ironman finisher Jared Kalef says that this sense of satisfaction is one of the main reasons he feels people should join the sport. Besides the obvious benefits of regular exercise from triathlon training, Kalef says that, “above all it gives you a sense of self satisfaction and achievement.” While as a seasoned athlete myself, I know that this is the benefit of most sports, I ask Kalef what makes triathlon different from other sports. “Triathlon is a life long athletic pursuit and anyone can do it, not just a talented few like many other sports.” Triclub membership is not free; it costs $30 to join. While it may be little steep of a price for certain students to join, if you think that many students spend more than $30 a weekend on drinks at the bar, it’s a fair price to pay to gain access to the spin-classes and private swim times. For more information on how to join e-mail the Triclub at uwtriclub@ hotmail.com. Keep fit and have fun.
THE GRADUATE STUDENT EXPERIENCE
Look closely at
Canada’s best graduate student experience Western offers access to interdisciplinary programs that allow you to pursue your areas of interest. You’ll work with, and learn from, some of the best researchers and teachers in the world. Generous funding is available and you’ll enjoy all the advantages of living in a university community that is part of a major urban centre.
A mini-conference for prospective Western graduate students Saturday, March 10, 2007 12:00 p.m. - 4:30 p.m., Great Hall This event will provide you with insight and information on what it takes to succeed in graduate school. Apart from general information on The Society of Graduate Students, TAships, scholarships, The Faculty of Graduate Studies, The City of London and much more, there will also be specific sessions on the following topics: • Strategies for Success in and after Graduate School
• Support Services for Graduate Students
• Getting Mentored in Graduate School
• Housing Opportunities
• Financing Your Graduate Education
• The Best Graduate Student Experience (panel discussion)
For more information and to register, please visit:
www.uwo.ca/grad Learn more
Friday, February 23, 2007
The big three retire
March madness for the athlete in us all Shawn Bell sports editor
Nahanni Waseskun reporter
Performers feed off the energy of the audience. In the last game of the 2007 season, the menâ€™s basketball team occupied the home court advantage with a strong foundation of fan support and played as a cohesive unit. The event was well promoted and included intelligent programming that, at times, had the audience out of their seats and fully engaged. This enthusiasm translated onto the court, fueling the Warriors with confidence. The PAC,
filled with cheering fans, supported the athletes during what was perhaps their best game of the season, as they dominated Laurier 85-64. Michael Davis, Matt Kieswetter and Oliver Quesnel were recognized as Warrior concluding their athletic careers, as they plan to graduate this year. Quisnelâ€™s vocal leadership led the Warriors defense all season. Matt Kieswetter emerged as the teams leading scorer this year, scoring 13.6 points per game. Davis finished his career 16th on the Warriors all time scoring list with 1581 points. Tom Kieswetter coached his 500th game this season.
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March means many things to many people. For some, the month is spent watching college players in the U.S. strive for the final four on TV. For others, the rinks and gyms around southern Ontario, with the OUA varsity playoffs, hold entertainment enough. And for those of us who feel the pull of physical competition, but do not have our own team to help through a playoff battle, Campus Rec comes through. It is the March Madness tournament series, with squash, three-on-three basketball, and road hockey amateurs battling for prizes over one or two days of heavy tournament action. The month begins with the Black Knight Squash tournament on March 3. This tournament is a staple of the Campus Rec itinerary, taking place once a term. Twenty to thirty people invade the nine squash courts of the PAC, in beginner, intermediate and advanced divisions, to play for prizes and the thrill of victory. Entry costs $20 and one participant will win a new Black Knight squash raquet. March Madness takes over the PAC gyms on March 9 and 10 for the fourth annual threeon-three basketball tournament. With 64 teams expected to play in eight divisions, this is the biggest collection of athletes the PAC will see this year. Each team will play three games before the double-knockout playoff round. Registration costs $50 per team, there are prizes from a plethora of sponsors, and all proceeds go to the Make-a-Wish foundation of southwestern Ontario. The month of madness ends on March 31 with the road hockey tournament. Teams of four plus a goalie will hit the pavement on parking lot X out at Columbia Ice Fields for one day of high-flying street hockey. Each player needs a helmet, gloves and stick. Apparently slashing is the defense of choice on the street, so shin guards are also recommended. There is a limit of two varsity players per team, so you need not worry of having to play a team of pure ringers. Entry costs $30 per team. For all tournaments, register at the PAC athletics office, and see www.campusrec.uwaterloo.ca for more information. Fear not the spirit of competition! You too can claw your way to the top. All it will take is hard work, a little luck, and a group of friends who also feel the pull for adrenalin-fueled excitement. Victory awaits â€” do you have what it takes? email@example.com
Athlete Profile: Dave Burnett
Friday, February 23, 2007
Warriors hang onto playoff spot Matt Levicki reporter
Doug Copping assistant sports editor
Aiming to take the game he loves as far as possible, Dave Burnett reflects on the past and looks towards the future. He connects his experience with basketball to themes that affect us all. GROWING UP — When I was seven, my dad came home with a hoop. I remember the exact day we set it up. I fell in love with the game early. At school, I would always get into trouble for dribbling in the halls. During the 10-minute breaks between classes, I would go to the gym and shoot. My life revolves around basketball. Coming to this school was mostly because of basketball. The places I’ve travelled are mostly because of basketball. My best friends come from playing the game.
ATTITUDE — Being smaller, you have to be that much quicker with your shot and off the dribble. On the court, you’re going to be pushed around and you definitely need a strong attitude, a mental toughness. Being smaller has made me work that much harder. They teach us that when you’re on the court, you have to have the attitude that nobody can stop you. I like to pass the ball. That’s my favourite thing; to get others involved. BALANCE — It takes a lot of time and dedication yet it’s worth it. I balance my life better with athletics than without it. The gains far exceed the sacrifices. I love to have a morning workout or shoot around. Then I go to class and sit with the volleyball girls. The athletic community is very strong. It’s literally like a family. The fact of the matter is that you have a schedule
and know when you have to practice. You do it. After, you go home and do school work. Without basketball there would be less structure. PASSION — It all comes from within; if you love the game and you are totally driven to get better, it will come out. There is something inside that can’t really be explained. Personally, I want to be the best at basketball that I can be. Collectively, our team wants to win a national championship. In terms of performance, we had a bad year. To progress and develop you have to put in the work. Our team is young and we have smart kids who love the game. If you’re unsatisfied with results, you work hard to improve. And that’s how you get better. You can never be satisfied.
It wasn’t exactly the weekend the Warriors women’s hockey team was hoping for. Just when they manage to take two steps forward, they find themselves now taking a step back. Last Friday February 16 the Warriors travelled to York to take on the Lions who were at the bottom of the OUA standings. All season long, several of the Warriors have mentioned that they struggle against the bottom teams and bring their game up a notch for the top teams. They would try to reverse this trend against the Lions; unfortunately it did not turn out that way. The Lions would bring their best game on this night and jump out to a 2-0 lead after the first period. Laura Sturch would give the Warriors some life in the second period by scoring her fourth goal of the season to cut the lead to 2-1. The Warriors would get no closer from that point, as York finished them off for a 3-1 victory. The Warriors would be sent packing with a disappointing loss that left many of them shaking their heads. The Warriors would have to shake off that loss and prepare for another installment of the Battle of Waterloo last Sunday February 18 versus Laurier. The pattern of playing a top team tough held true for the first period as the Warriors and #2 ranked Golden Hawks were scoreless after one. The second period was not as good for the Warriors as Lauren Barch opened the scoring for the Golden Hawks with a power play goal. The Laurier sniper also scored late in
the second and midway through the third to complete her hat-trick. With a 3-0 lead, the Golden Hawks would smother the Warriors offence and limit them to only 13 shots through the defeat. The two losses drop the Warriors record to 7-10-3-2, but they still manage to cling to the sixth and last playoff spot in the OUA standings. With two games remaining, the Warriors travel to Brock Friday February 23 and are at home to Toronto on Saturday February 24 at the CIF. The game against Brock is surely the most important of the season thus far for the Warriors. If they can pull out a win against the Badgers, they will clinch a prized playoff spot. However, if they lose to Brock, who is right behind them in the standings, they will be in danger of missing the playoffs all together. The Warriors are so close to the playoffs, they can almost taste it. All they have to do now is grab a hold of their playoff destiny, take another step forward, and never look back.
COARSE LANGUAGE, SEXUAL CONTENT, SUBSTANCE ABUSE
FEBRUARY 23 ONLY IN THEATRES CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR THEATRES AND SHOWTIMES
30 COURSES SP-100 Forest Firefighting course, London, March 7-11 or Waterloo, March 14-18, 2007. To register, please call Wildfire Specialists Inc., 2233 Radar Road, Suite 5, Hanmer, Ontario, P3P 1R2. Toll free: 1-877-3815849. Ontario Ministry of Natural Resources accredited. No guarantee of employment.
HOUSING Premium three-bedroom townhouse unit in a professionally managed student complex. Perfect for students, close to UW campus. Now renting May or September 2007. Call Perry now at 519-746-1411 for all the details and to set up a showing. Room for rent for a quiet individual
in a detached home near both universities. Parking and all amenities. Please call 519-725-5348. Attention Cambridge School of Architecture students! Live conveniently and comfortably right across the street from school in this beautifully renovated apartment. 4, 8 and 12-month leases available with excellent signing bonuses and rental incentives! Call Perry at 519-746-1411 for more details. Five bedroom, two bathrooms, two kitchens, upstairs new, laundry, 10 minute walk to Universities, parking, excellent condition – must see. $2,200/month, utilities included, cable internet. Call 905-417-5538. A perfect four bedroom apartment to live in comfortably within a short
walking distance to both campuses. Enjoy the convenience of living in a great location close to many shopping amenities and the life of Uptown Waterloo. Call Perry now at 519-7461411 to set up a viewing today. Five bedroom house for rent – available September. Great place, near UW – $1,725 per month. Call 905509-3284 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. Available May 1, 2007 – minimum four-month lease, very clean, 372B Churchill Crescent. Six bedroom, each room is $350-$375/month plus utilities. Free parking, laundry facilities included, two common rooms with TV, two kitchens, wireless capability throughout house and internet jacks in every room, 15 minutes from
FRIDAY, march 9, 2007
campus. Call Andrew at 416-5270369 or e-mail andrew.chalabardo@ hotmail.com. Single rooms in residence available for fall term at St. Paul’s College right on campus. Apply now. All welcome. 519-885-1465, ext 212 or stpauls@ uwaterloo.ca.
HELP WANTED Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. Minimum eight-month commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Mader, K-W Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2. Summer job – work at the beach for Kazwear Swimwear! Full and part time management and staff positions available. Grand Bend, Port Stanley and Bayfield. Competitive wage and bonuses. Contact: email@example.com or visit our website www.kazwearswimwear.ca for job opportunities.
Student website designer/java programming required for small local business close to UW. Transportation can be provided. Pay negotiable with experience/site setup/ongoing maintenance. Call 519-880-1282. Child care needed – responsible student with child care experience needed four afternoons per week for May and June for part-time teacher in Uptown Waterloo. Please call 519880-0451. Possibility of continuing in September. Work outdoors! Landscaping and property maintenance company seeks staff with positive attitude and solid work ethic for spring/summer, potential to continue into fall. Call 519-578-7769 or e-mail resume to firstname.lastname@example.org. Window cleaner required for summer employment. Kitchener, $13 to start, 40-50 hours per week. Fax resume 519-749-4022. No highrise but second story ladder work involved daily.
Campus Bulletin UPCOMING
465 PHILLIP STREET LOCATION ONLY LIMITED TIME OFFER
Friday, March 9, 2007 The GO! Music Festival takes place on March 9 and 10 in Uptown Waterloo. Over 30 live acts; five licensed venues. Details: beatgoeson.com or myspace.com/gomusicfestival. Art exhibitions at the Waterloo Community Arts Centre, 25 Regina Street, S., Waterloo, until April 4. Displays of Gloria Kagawa and Marilyn Batte. 7th annual Rainbow Reels Queer Film Festival celebrations until March 11. For info www.rainbowreels.org. Thursday, March 22, 2007 orchestra@uwaterloo concert “In D” at 8 p.m. at Humanities Theatre, Hagey Hall. For tickets call 888-4908 or info at www.orchestra.uwaterloo. ca. Wednesday, April 4, 2007 Laurier PoetryFest at Registry Theatre, 122 Frederick Street, Kitchener at 7 p.m. on April 4 and 5. Free event with charitable donation accepted. For info call Clare at 519-884-0710 ext 2665 or www.wlupress.wlu.ca.
FINANCIAL AID March 2007
Stop by the Student Awards & Financial Aid Office to see if your OSAP grant cheques are available. March 15 — last day to submit undergraduate bursary appeals for winter term. March 23 — last day to sign confirmation of enrollment for winter only and fall and winter terms. March 30 — recommended submission date for OSAP rollover form to add spring term. Check out our web site for a full listing of all our scholarships and bursaries. http://safa.uwaterloo.ca.
ANNOUNCEMENTS Travel Cuts inks exclusive deal to offer Canada’s cheapest flights to Europe and the UK for students. For info call 1-866-246-9762 or travelcuts.com/contact us. Hey students! Tune in weekly to “Morning Drive” with DJ Cool at CKMS 100.3FM for important info on what is happening locally, on campus and in your area. Music, fun and more — email@example.com. Exchange opportunities to RhoneAlpes, France and Baden-Wurttemberg, Germany for the 2007-2008 academic year – to undergraduates and graduates. For additional informatiton and application form/deadlines contact Maria Lango, IPO, Needles Hall, room 1043, ext 33999 or by email: firstname.lastname@example.org. Cigarette study — smokers needed. $70 cash paid. Please state your name, age and brand of cigarettes smoked most often. Call Sandy at 519-578-0873 or e-mail this info to email@example.com. Turnkey Desk Recycles Batteries. Drop your old batteries to the blue bin at Turnkey. Nominations are requested for the following seats on Senate: Graduate Stuent Representatives – two graduate students of the University to be elected by/from the full and part-time graduate students of the University, termsfrom May 1, 2007 to April 30, 2009. Nomination forms are available from the secretariat, ext 36125 and from the Secretariat webpage; see http://www.secretariat.uwaterloo.ca/elections/omelectiojns.htm. At least five nominators are requrid in each case. Nominations should be sent tot he Secretariat, Needles Hall, room 3060, n later than 3 p.m., Friday March 16, 2007. Eelctions willf ollow if necessary. Graduate student members of Senate whose terms exprie as of April 30. 2007 and are eligible for re-election: Atefeh Mashatan (Combinatorics & Optimization), Douglas Stebila (Combinatorics & Optimization).
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