Page 1

Our house Ocal talks about the anticipation for the re-openings of Fed Hall and Bomber. -

What would you do for a free dinner on Valentine's Day?

pagc 13

Can the Feds get their own liquor licence? As the closures of Fed Hall and the Bomber contmue, it is hard not to notice that other untx-crsttics usc a different system Could we?

Maps and legends -How can the Utlitcd States really fight terrorism?

page 13


U W Hockey has winning weekend Both the men's andmomen's ho teams notched their first victor& the season this pastweekend, as 5 goaltendingpavedthe way for ap; Warrior Victories. CC


Warrior skiers strik provincial silver

Support for native students

"Afat chick."

"A Web cam show."

Bobby Intrigue 3rd year economics

Alessandra Picchetti, Joyce Ouyang 1B honours arts, 4 8 anthropology

page 3

The Gulf War and K-W: part II Vlhr expert Gwynne Dyer readies I<W for the Gulf\irarin thc sccondpaa of this series.

page 3

U W prof applauds home care funding plan "Give him the goods."

"Buy the girl roses."

Liz Quinto, Rachel Psenak 2nd year political science, 1B arts

Rahul Bali 2nd year arts

The X'arnors nordic qkt team fo through frigid tcmpcraturcs to ture secondplacemthe OUAchaj onshtps last weekend

IeanBeckerbegan her role as Aborignal counsellor on January 2. I~@n'tzt mterviewedBcckeraboutherdutiesat UWandwhat she has done and hopes to do for Aboriginal students.

Health studiesprofessorJohnHirdes speaks on behalf of the much-discussed Romanov report, which rcquests for billtons of dollars to be contributed to provincial health care.


Kama Sutra Learnabout thehistoryoflGmaSutra, andtf you feelambitious,tryout some positions.

pagc 14

UW basketball shoots for playoff5 The E'arriors women's baske team sccurcd a playoff spot w~ mctoryomr GuclphonSaturday,7 ping a siu game losing streak



Loolung for something to tncrease your ltbtdo? Explore the wonderful world of aphrodesiacs and you'llnever lookback.

page 15 Regular content: Glass in hand Forthoselooktng for analternative towacky positions, take a taste of the Kuma Sutra.

Regular content: T o p Corner Hockey Tim kn that this blockbuster deal is goo( allsides. Lastweek's trade betweel Carolina Hurricanes and l'htladel Flyers is awm-wmaccordtngto1 I Llm. -

page 15 Short order - Take out romance Itahan-styleat Vincenzo's.

A prelude to the page 16 Oscars

United States' intentions Nobody wants to pay high oil prices, but n this the justification to attack Iraq?

"I'd do just about anything. Free everything is good."

"I'd get all gussied up and be nice, for a change."

Andrew Judge 1B honours atts

Maya Djurdjevic 1B honours arts

Problem of the w e e k F i g u r e out who's with who and their favourite positions.

page 17

Undefeawd-Cowan clarifiesthe stere otype hommexuality has nothing to do with one's lifestyle1

Travellers should think before they page 11 step

Touched T i t u s feels bombardedby the entire Valentine's Day fiasco.

Regular content:

Regular content:

Airheads - Shawn Bell talks al the unexpected kindness found it mosh pit.


You! Offmy planet!-Lcc-YVudrick comments on the Feds campaignand his experienceas a candidate.

Microfiles -Photographs shed light on shuttle disaster; an update on the shuttle tragedy; biowveapons rcscarch in California; organ transplant causes cancer;andparentscannow screen for genetic abnormalities m embryos.

page 12

page 19

page 12

Jalena 1B applied studies

Anonymous high schooler, Rob Clark, Anonymous high schooler 2nd year rnathlbusiness

MacIvor2 The current U K drama presenta reviewed.

For all you soon-to-be ti-avellers, a littlc msight into how tourism can help and hurt - other countries.

page 11

"Beat that booty with a stick."


Regular content:

Heramb's harem -1 Iow does it feel to be involved in a one sided crush?

"That's my birthday, so really, nothing."

K'ondering n ho'5 up for norr tion? Xre'\e got the information arc loohtng for


Diet coke head - Can today's F still be classifiedas punk? It just like it used to be.

War expert Gwvnne Dyer says "We are going to war" Ian Howard IMPRINTSTAFF


'War is almost certam," exclatmed reputed internationalaffairs columnist, Gwynne Dyer The busy columnist, author and historian believes that war with Iraq w d begm m less than two weeks At aKZU talklastweek,Dyer,anexpert m d t a r y conflict, said, "we have had it pretty easy for some tune now, I don't thmk that this [warm the GuIfl is going to be like that " Dyer noted that, m the past four wars -the CrulfWar,Bosm, Croau and Afghamstan-we have had only four casualties and Afnericans have had less than 150 IIe remarked that we have operated on a "no casualty basis," but believcs this war w d be different "If you are going to get SaddamHussem,youha\e topwhere he is, he is ma bunker, quite a deep one, mcentralBaghdad "AccordmgtoDyer, those countrtes that send troops into Baghdad wdl haw to expect to lose soldiers Dyer said the last tme "the Iraqi army was sittlngout in trenches in the desert there was hardly any fighting on the ground, you sort of buried them m their trenches " Dyer believes that the events of today are a result of the plight of the Arab people Hc stated that t h ~ shas been the "worst century in Arab his tory " He attributes this plight to the mcurston of European empires mto the Middlc East at the end of the first world war I hen, lust when many Arab states gained their independence,Israelwas createdinthe centre of their world He explamed that as the Arabworld's quality of life continued to erode, some turned to faithas their

answer He believes that those who turned to fundamentalist Islam did so m response to an erosion of their way of life and the onslaught of west-. em culture,usmgtheir fmthasameans to return to a time when they were more prosperous. "Hope through the wdl of God commandsapowerfulaudience," said Dyer. He continued to say that its prophet, young Arabian Osama bin Laden, distinguished himself while fighting with the mujahedin against the Soviets.Bin Laden formed the alQaedaand began toplot strategically. For their revolution to be successful, they need to get people out into the streets. He indicated that their first success and the first clue to September 11was a sundtaneous attack against American embassies in Kenya and Tanzania on August 7, 1998 which killed 224 people. This event led to a "massive blmdrctaliation" by the U.S., whlch fircd "70cruisemissilesintothe blue." He described that the target selectionwasdone on as little as a soil sample near the target. 'l'he day after, he suggested, the al-Qaedawere able to tell pcople to look at their M u s h brothcrs and sisters who had been attacked by America-apolitical victory for the al-Qaedaand encouragement to do s o m e h g bigger. Then, fast forward to September 11,2002,with George W. Bush at the hclm and his support at an all tune low After September 11, "Bush stopped, thought, got it right and after 29 daysno shots had been fired manger " Dyer remarked that "for a while I was wondering about Bush, maybe hc got it?" Then Bush, who was facqunpeachment, had towhack somebody, Dyer jested Bush had to


Dyer confronted issues of the imminent war to a crowd at WLU. pick the right target and that was Afghanistan. As Dyer eqdained,Arnericans chose to ftghtthe "hicks fromthe last ridge" who "couldn't fight their way out ofawet paper bagwitha cham saw." This was a safe fight that would not endanger American troops Several months passed, the warm Afghamstanwasall but over andagam facinga loss of stature,Dyerexplained that Bushnecded to satisfy the Amencanpubhc and"discovered the axis of evil "He remarked that a grouphg of Iraq, Iran and North Koreaas an axts of "just as evil," was as likely as one

consistingof Syria, China and Cuba, or an axis of "countries quite nice really," comprised of Canada, Australia and Mexico. Hc cxplaincd that an axis between these countries is absurd, commenting that bin Laden openly accuses Hussein of being an infidel. Dyer believes that this is simp l y a m o v e b y t h e ~ .administration ~. togct them to the end ofBush's term in office and choosingIraqas the next target means that the oil, Israel and war industrylobheswiuclimbaboard

0 In ] a t week's art~cle

"Imprtnt's objectlv~ty quest~oncdam~delechon coverage," we neglectedto spec~fythat Andrew D~lts was not present at the meetlng ~nwh~chh ~changmg s of the headlme was d~scussed Further, there was no expression of consensus at that meetmg that h ~ achon s was mappropnate.

Native students find support from new counsellor Becker stresses the importance of aboriginal studles Daniel Dharrnasurya IMPRINT STAFF

UW welcomed an Aboiiginal counsellor earlier this term. Jean Rccker, who holdsamastcr's degree from the University of Guelph and has taught at UW, stepped into the position on January2. The positionof Aboriginal counsell~ris h i d e d mostly by the Aboriginal Education and Training Strategyprogramofthc OntarioMinistry of Education and'l'raining. The university supplies additional k n d ingand St. Paul's United Collegeprovidcs the office and administrative support for the counsellor. OneofBeckcr's major concemsis native studies at UW Becker previ ously taught NATST 370, a course on natme communities m Canada, and believes thcre isastrongmterestman extended native studies program at u\.V"McMasterhas hadanative stud ies program for less than 10years and you can alreadyget a degree there," she said She also noted that Trcnt Um-

''The sad thing is [Aboriginals] graduate without knowing anything [about ourselves] . because the education isn't there." -Jean Becker Aboriginalcounsellor versityoffers a doctorate program. UW, m iontrast, offers few native studies courses andBeckerhopes that will change Becker believes that students from all cducational and racial backgroundshave anmterest m more na'uve studies courses 'The sad thing is,we,as aboriginalpeople, cangradu

atc without knowing anything because the education isn't there," she said. She added that orevious native studlescourses "couldhave beenmuch biggerwithresources." Outside ofacademia,Becker'sjob is to help makc sure Aboriginal students feeltheyhave aplace at W."I thought that [U\-Wlneeded some support system for Aboriginal students," she said. This is particularlyimportant when half the Aboriginal population m Canada is 24 years old or younger, as revealed in the results of the 2001 census.While other universitiessuch as Ryerson and the University of Toronto have had extensive Aboriginal students services, UW has been severely laclung. "Native students are underrepresented m sciences," said Becker With UW's strong emphasis on technologyandenpeering,it was felt that havmgcomparable servicesat UV;~wasunnecessary I Iowever, Bccker sees her rhle as Aboriginal counsellor may be a forerunner for future support for the Abongmal communityat

UW Beyond the umversity, Becker has recemedpositive feedback from local Aboripal people "The community sees rt as a step forward," she said Alongwith the rest of the Shared Uiliversit~es Native Det elopmentand Navigation Committee, Becker organtzed'In the S p h t ofunderstand mg', a conference designed to rase awareness ofAborignalpeople,culture, history and current issues The conference will be held at Wdfrid Launer University on February28 Beckerhas hadmany diverseexpe riences in her first month at UW Some examples she cited ~ncluded talking with a high school guidance counsellorwho needed help in finding resources for native youth, helping enmronmental studies with a project involvmg native issues and answeringqucstions for various faculty members Becker said she has received n o t h g but support in her position so far "I feel more certain that [this] is the tlght thing to be

doing," she said



Feds: possibility of obtaining a liquor licence s h board, it is like a jomt venture, unlike our situatmn where the admmistraUltimatelythe Alcohol and Gamtion holds the licence and the beds rng Commissionof Ontario (ACXO) manage the bars rhe secondproblem controlu the licences The application is that since the hcence alreadyexists,it for the licence must be filled by a would have to be transferred fromthe person who owns and opcrates the adrmillstrationovertotheFederation establiuhmnt, or of Students The b~ acorporation associate provost Smcc the Federaof studentservices, 'There is a tion of Studcnts Catharine Scott, is mcorporated, st rong be1ief that said,'Theuniver they are entitled sity does not fore an a'coho' free see any reason to to apply ~ i t h r n the corporation, CampUS is not a transfer theliquor the preuident, licence out ofBud realistic secretary and Walker's name, treasurer arc thc solution." and has no inten members whose -~ u Walker, d tion to do So " names would apdirector of business Unfortunately, operat;o,,s theywouldnot tell pear on the 11ccnce %s would us what their inmean that every tentions are year when elections decide the new Becauseofthedoublecohort,rnany nresident.the Ontario ProvincialPouniversities are evaluatinp " their curlice would need to perform a due rent alcohol policies and considering diligenck check on them, and a new goingalcohol-free. \Vaterloo's Comapproval necessary All of which is mittee on AlcoholUse andFAucation completelypossible has alreadyIooked mto thepossibdig I he first problem is that the uni Walker explains, :There i\ a strong versityowns the SLC,and the AGCO belief that an alcohol frcc campus is rcquircs the landlord to sign the apphnot a realistic solution " cation form This is where other uni The possibihtv of acquiring our versitieslike Mac andyorkare d~ffer ownhcenceisver7 slmsmceit rcquires ent Their studentcentresare corporathe admnistration's endorsement tions on their own, and are run by a K c can all hope that the lawyers are board ofdirectors Sincctherc are stuswift in findmg a solution that both dent5 and administration on the sides are happy with

Continued from cover



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A birds'-eye view of where the concrete fell. Luckily, nobody was injured.

SLC in a state of collapse? I

Fallen concrete makes students wonder Ian Howard IMPRINT STAFF

Caution tape mysteriously appeared around the foyer outside of Aussics this week. As students speculate,stop and contemplate, little evidence to itsprecursor can be found. A discussionwith studentsinSLCreveals some

: I I



mterewng postulation, though their apathetic retort seems littlecomfortto the safetj conscious Finally arehable source comes along, one of our trusty green shirt5 \weeping near thc sccne ' A quick interrogative query and the loss of another theory, it's not an other book sale, a'\ our building It IS falling A glance at the ceiling above

reveals a 5mall hole \v here apiece ofth ceilmgoncewn\ A chunk no larger than 10 cm i diameter has fallen rhe inissingchun is a result of clnlling on the rvof t secure an anchor, for the muchantic pated addition of a third floor See SLC, page (







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Kaczmarczyk: "We have always supported Feds and we do support Feds" disobey adirecave from the liquor licenceholder, ifwe did, we wouldmost certady lose our licence This discrepancy prompted ms~udent.otgto for good " Kac7marczykmaint;uns that the real problem brcakthe story,wvhichclamed thatthcunix~erwy herewasn'tthe factthatkeds refused tomakean had p e n their approvalwhtle the Feds had not exception,but rather, itwas the way they handled The article, written by Ryan Chen Ring, re ported that ULVagreed to hold the event at Fed the issue to begin with 'We wrote a letter and requested Feds perHall on the condition that the selling of alcohol bearranged by bar services iX'alkeractedquckly mission only to be ignored for days and not to dissolve this confusion, "No such approval responded to," Kaczmarc~ykwrote on [tohold the ewnt at bedHall1 existsand there ha5"I personally tried getting a hold of Feds admastration on several occasionsbut been no discussion with the Federation of Stu no one was available to discuss this very impor dents about such an approval," he said in an c mail ~ o s t e don 74~~~tudet1f.og Chen-Wmg's arti- tant issue for the graduating engineers " Kaczmarc7ykalso claimedthat, mlarge part, cle encouraged d ~ s p n t l e dengineers to post over 50 messages on the site, demanding to the appeals were made in the interest of safety knowwhy the Feds refusedtogtve their con~ent "Nowwe have to put 400 students on a bus and send themoff-campus," saidKaczmarczyk"And In fact, the Feds were simply upholding the agreement to suspend all "wet" affairs on cam- we all know what goes on at the Iron Stag " Each year the IRS event is held m honour of p u ~which , was consistent with the cancellation of such ebents as the Kardinal Offishallconcert thegraduaungclass ofUW engineer5followmg the "Callmg of an E n p e e r " ceremony,which and the Rig Chill, among others hasahistorydatingbackto 1922 rhe stagparv The Feds also received the encmeers'letter of appeal, but theywere not aware of the dialogue is a celebrationof this ntual and typicallyinvolves alcohol which tookplacebctweenW1alkerandGradcom This pear's IRS party wFU be held at the Wax 'W'c have been instructed by the unix crsity that this includes Nlght Club in Kttchener no onecanseryeJcoholin~edHall, [the unircrsity]," mrotc VP admmistration and finance Chris Ui Lullomane mail "Untilwe get a letter stating something different, we cannot Continued from cover


UW prof applauds new funding for health care need of healthcare "The mainuse for home care m this country is for the elderly," he clarified "Of course, this [money]wouldgo towards assisting A new deal has been launched which wdl result adults and children m need of home care as well m billions ofdollars spent on federal-provmcial But the bulk of home care users arc elderly." Much offJ1rdes'focus on sentorawens deals healthcare AndaUVE'professorismthe fronhes with three aspects of health care m particular: to encourage the deal. JohHirdes,aWaterlooresearcherandpro- post-acute care for patients recuperatmg from fessor m the department of health studies and heavy surgery, palliative care for dymgpatients and mental health care for patients with behav gerontology, is a strong supporter of the plan lour disturbances The latter created by prune mmster is most important to Hirdes, lean Chrttien and the nresince a lack of funds m the miers of Canada. The plan IThe main use past has kept such patients aims to put $34.8 billion from getting the help they into Canadian health care for home care in need over the next five years this country is "Most people m nursing The deal is the result of homes are those with behav the persistence of Roy for the elderly," iour disturbances and menRomanow, who was ap-John HjrdeS pomtedby Chrttienin2001 tal impairments," said Htrdes. "This funding cango to improve the medicare aloneway svstcm m Canada and has - , towards ellrmnat smce taken hsproposal across Canada in search mg mstitufionaluation " These issues and morc are all addressed m of support Other important issues touched upon by Romanow and his team are primary Romanow's much-examined report on the future of medicare, Buzfclr/zgon Values, which was care, home care and drugco~erage released last November Some of the proposals Hirdes ~crvedas a consultant to Romanow-'s Commiwon on the Future of Health Care in mcludemlectmg$15 billion(culledfromgenera1 revenue)into health care by2006,constructrnga Canada,providmg muchinsight with the assist HealthCounctlpf Canadawhichwlllmforrnthe ance ofhrs fellow researchers "The advice gave] is based largely on re- public on how the money is being spent and search we've done and what we thought would better care for patients relegated to their homes be relevant to [theproposal]," saidHirdes About by mental handicaps or t e m a l illnesses Incidentally,inthewakeofthese+ecentdevel the proposal itself, Hirdes described it as "a reaction to our rescarch," and 1svery pleased to opments, anew counehas beenadded to Hirdes' faculty m the area of health mformaacs "It's a see it recopzed among the government's top pixontie5 of the moment, such as more money cross between health studies and gerontology and computer science," he esplamed "It profor children and ongoing Abofigtnal rights Hirdes, who was also part of a $1 7 million vides training for students to learn to anaylze project funded by HealthCanadaon home care healthcare data " prior tohis workwith Romanow, focusesmostly mstratford@~mpr~nt on how ths plan will benefit elderly people m Mark Stratford





SLC: f a h g to

Heard but not heeded


Planners recommend keeping 75-metre housing res trictions

In 10 days we will find out what the City of Waterloo plans to do about density That plan on height and density affects population density, it affects the availabhtyof housing and hence student housing. We don't, however, have to wait those 10 davs to have an Indicationof where they are coming from because the report from the city planricr came out this past a'ednesday 'I hey are recommending that the 75 metre rcstrtction continue but allow for studying other options. Last June the city's planning department produced a discussion paper and in October it produccd a response papcr This process was all part of a consultation process to develop a final policy On February 24,Waterloo city councilwill consider a final policy on height

and density In thc Octobcr meeting about 24 students out of 89 residents showed up at the councd meeting where Chns Edey, Rob Ewaschuk and Mlke Kerrigan spoke to council about the need for policies that allow for enough student housing One main concern was the 75 metre spacingrestriction in the lodging house licensing bylaw l'he result of this decisionwill be the end of a few years of uncertaintyfor students Since 1999, when UW had a record large first year class and Impnntfirst reported on the 75 metre restriction, larger and larger classes have come to UCV, enlargmg enrolmentas we approach the double,cohort The concern is that as enrolment increases, the demand for student housing also rises and a spacing restriction forces students further from where they want to live, close to the university In order to address student housing demand, city staff are recommending that the 75 metre restriction continue and that higher density housing be encouraged near the universitv Additionally, the report recommends performing a

"neighbourhood enhancement study" which would consider how the area east of ULY' could change This area, between Phdlip Street and 1% Street and north of University Avenue, could be developed, if allowed, as a student neighbourhood The report acknowledges that the spacing rcstnction is not fulfilling its intended purpose and other options should be found and considered."The existingregulatory system of Lodgmg Houses and the Mifitmum Distance Separation is not preventing the replacement of families with students m these neighbourhoods Staff beheve that, in the long term, either somethmg must be donc to protcct and enhance the neighbourhoodsnear the universities or recognize that this m a student neighbourhood and take measures to improve them " The report says that the areas east of UW has enough housing for otdy two years of enrolment growth The main policy that council heard in October was a "nodes and corridors" model that suggested taller buildings and higher density



along major streets at the edge of neighbourhoods and nodes of retail and other services at pomts where these corridorscross This "nodes and corridors" idea is furthered m this study The report states that there should be enough cipacity for students in thls nodes and corri dors model "Staff suggcst that the neighbourhood enhancement study start as soon as possible However, there is no need to enact change immediately in this neigh bourhood to accommodate predlctedmcreasesinufitversity student enrolment Thcrc is sufficient capacity for student accommodation m the proposed nodcs and corridors and plenty of capaclty for more lodginghousev within a two hlometre radius of the umversities " So what can we take from all this? We as students were heard but not hccdcd These policy recommendations target our nerds andacknowledge our concerns, but do not gve students what they said they wanted, a removal of the 75 metre restriction

Continued from page 4

Thc chunk fcll to the ground a bounced into Graphics Fortunat, nobody was hurt "Dnllmg caused the concrete splay" said Byron Murdoch of Plz Operations He noted that this ha pens when drillingisdone deeper th necessaq~,muchlike how splinters ( cur when drilling through a piece wood Murdoch stated that this a not delaythe addltionandthat,weatl permttting, constructionwillbe col plete by the end of August this yea The SLC has been the centre considerabledcbatc inthc recent pa Construction on the third-floor t pansion dtdnot b c p for anumber weeks The start of construction on t third floor extension that is schedul for completion this yearwas on hold contractorswaitedfor steel Constn tion has now started The evpansi wdladdanotherlevel thatwd be a qu floor and will include a reading a prayer room, whchwill be moved from the second floor In additic mox ing these roomsu &pro\ idemc space for clubs on the second floni

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opiluon@~n)unpnrrt u~%nterlno cl

Fight the oil war Hugh Sandier COMMUNITY EDITORIAL

In reading all that has been written regarding the potential war with Iraq, I am reminded of a quote I read some tune ago m an article by Barney Sneiderman "The first casualty in any war is always the truth " 'fiat is as true in the leadup to this war as m any other. Last year,watchg news reports I began to be bombarded with the idea that the weapons inspectors must return to Iraq after being kicked out m 1998 Kicked out? Interestingchoice of words, seeing as they were removed by the United States, so that the US. could attack Iraqin Operation Desert Fox without fear of injuring any inspectors. That, of course, was not the slant being presented last year. Ah, 1998, it was a tumultuous tme for the U S government Clinton was being lambasted by the media with the Lewinsky scandaland so he thought it apt to attack Iraq, a nice round of bombing to take the heat off I hadn't seen that much dog waging since the remake of 101 Ualmatiun~. After the attack (bombing, whatex-er) the inspectors wanted to return, Hussein decided againqt it, firstly because he had just been attacked by the U S but also because he had cerious concerns about the inspectors stealmg secret? and performing spy operations beyond their mandate K'e all have strong opmons about Hussein (he's lust that kind of guy), but no matter how we feel about hun we must acknowledge that he has a right to try and preserve his onin life Now as far as Hussein hamng nuclear weapons, he did not have any in 1998 that the weapon5 inspectors brought to the public's attention and although weapons in5pectors tookapprouimatcly a four-yearhiatus, Iraq has been under satellite supen-ision and the ~roductionof nuclear weapons

Editorial Staff Ed~tor-m-ch~rf, LLagda I<onieczna ALs~stant emtor, Lauren S. Breslin Cover ehtor, AIcludy Hut Photos, Tyler Thomas Assistant photos, vacant Graphics, lohn Paul Curry z\swstant graphics, Jeff Tran Web, ICarakaya Gupta Ass~srmtwcb, Alex Lee Systems admm., Ross Jordan Assistant systems adnun., Ian Howard Lead proofreader, Daniel Dhannasurpa Proofreader, Lynn Chien Proofreader, Aidma Gdlian Proofreader, Steve Kennedy

releases gases into the atmosphere that would have been picked up by the satellites This might explain why the weapons inspectors f m d nothing m their "tour d'Irak" which began late last year So how is the war on Iraq coming along?Well let's see, now we beheve he has nerve gas and other airborne killers and he might use it against the West Ever since Hussein gassed his own people a has been difficult for Iraq to deny they have deadlygases thatwe've known for a long time Now all of a sudden it is a principal reason for the U S to attack, but why now) We must also consider proportionality, does th~smply that the U S must attackevery natton state xvhich has deadly gases and a disdm for thew foreign policy) If so, the war with Iraq is only just the begmnmg of these types of wars. But of course, there will not be countlessxvars of this type because many of the other nation-states which easily fulfill the cntena do not have oil reserves like Iraq Don't get me wrong, I am not saying the U S should not attack Iraq I mean, after all, I don't like paying anywhere from 70 to 80 cents a litre to fill up my car anymore than anyone else See HUSSEIN, page 11

Student media -a force to contend with

SPECULATIONS Secret dealingsbetweenpohticians and businessmen result in a mutually-beneficial sale of a histoncal budding, which is then demolished to make room for a modem shopping mall Local media, with stakes in the deal, ensures the public is unaware until the damage has been done Sound like fiction?Well it happened here in K-W and student journalists at the University of Waterloo were the ones who broke the story Our student newspaper has an interesting history that many of us aren't aware of Most of us have heard stones about the nine-month occupattonof the newspaper office by staffers after the Feds president tried to lock them out in the '70s Some people even know about the time when Impnnf staff went undercover to discover a brothel at

the old Married Student Apartments m the '90s. One of the brightest moments of \)('aterloo's student journalism, though, is not widely known. In the summer of 1971, Kltchener city coucil approvedthe sale of the old Krtchener city hall and farmers'market to developers who later put m the Market Square complex on the comer of k g and FredenckStreets.This dealwas done entirely in secret,allegedly to prevent skyrocketingof land p'nces in the area The Record, which stood to benefit from the deal, part of which involved their new locabon on Fairway Road, agreed to keep the issue quiet On June 25,1971, the UW student newspaper, then called the Chewon, broke the story. That week, a special run of 10,000copies of the paper with extra mformabon about the deal was printed and distributed around the city. That issue of the paper included interviewswith councillorswho, obviously surprised to hear that the story had gotten out, responded withvarying degrees of lies and confusion It also included a hardhitting editord entitled "Whj the 'conspiracy of sdence')"which highlighted the lack of debate and the lack ofpossibility for alternate

proposals. At the next council meeting, m which councillorsundoubtedly expected to silently fmshup the deal, 175 angry community mem bers showed up to protest, 21 of whom got the opportumty to addresscouncd The Chevron following the meeting featured a two-page spread entitled "The big sellout" discussing the issues and highlighting other situtations in which the local media has cooperated with businessmen agamst the interest of CitlZens. It may look ltke the people at the Chevron spent a lot of time and achieved little The deal went through, we lost our historic city hall and The Record, despite its involvement in the issue, continued to be the major local newspaper in K-W. I think, though, that this story is an important one The Chevron succeeded,at least, in getting the public mformed Student journal ists had the oppottuntty to show professionals how it's done. Student media needs more success stories suchas these to demonstrate that we are a force to contend with



Proofrr d e r , Danlcl Saunders Office Staff Bumess manager, C a t h ~ Bolgcr c a t h ~bolger@&npnnt . uwntelloo ca \dvertwng 8; product~onmanaget, Laurie ltgert Dumna ads@mprmt uwatcrloo ca Advertismg acsistant, IIingmm Leung D~stnbuuon, Uum Ueelakanteswar Dlstnbutwn, G q a Padll) Board of Duectors honrd@mpnnt uwatcrloo ca Pres~deut,Bnan Code Vice president, Fehx I l p Treasurer, vacant Secretary, Tun Moll~son Staff hason, Geoff Eby

Production staff I i u ~Blechschm~dt. Susan Dubak, Sarah-Hrth Uoner, Hmgm;m Leung, Tim AInll~son,l e s s ~ rQhmn, I<ourmcy Short, Phlhp Werner, Shawn Wmnmgtnn-Bnll, Dan Zlotn~kov Imjnrit 15 thc offic~alstudent neuspaper of the Llnnersrtr o f \Yaterloo I t 15 an editonall\ indcpcndent newspaper published bv Imprmt Pubhcaaons, Water loo, ,I ~orpornaonalthout share ~ a p i t d Impnrit I? a member of the Ontano CommunlQ Uevspnper i s w claholl (OLN i )



any other publ~cnbonor group unul such tlmr as tht m,lten;al ha? heen dmnbuted In an issur of Imprint, o. Impni~rdeclares their mtent not to pnhllsh the maten,d Ihc full test of this agrrrment 15 av;ulablc upon rcqucst. Impn~tdocsnotguarantcctopubhsh araclrs,pliotograph~, letters orad~erasing\latend mny nothe puhh\hed, at thc hscreaon of Impnnt, if that matend 1s deemed to be libelous or m contraventmn ulth ImpnnZs pohc~csw t h respect to our code of ethlcs m d )ournal~sacstandards Impnil/ is published every Fndny dunng fdl m d wintcr terns, and e \ e n second Fnday duung the spnng tcnn lmpnntreserves the nght to screen, edlt and refuse ad>er hsmg One cop, per customcr Impnnt ISSN 0706-7380 Impnnt CDN h h X l d Product Sales Agreement no 554677

B&tonalsubmtsalonamdy be consldcrcdforpubhca~onm any c l t ~ o nof Impnnf lmpnnt mmv Aso reproduce the matend commerciallv tn n)fonnat or me&um as part of Next staff meeting: the newspaper database, Web slte or anv other product denved from the newspaper Those submlttmg emtonal content,mcludmga~cle~,lene~,photosandgraphics,d grant Irnpnnt first publ~catronnghts of their subm~tted Next production nlght: m a t e d , andas such, agree not to aubnut the samc work to

Monday, February 17 1230prn,SLC1116 Wednesday, February 19 530pm,SLClll6


Celebrations at a dingy club

I b the editor. I recently heard that we are unable to use our own UW'Federation Hall for our most anticipated cngineering grad event, the Iron l h g Stag I find it outrageous that we have paid nution for fn e years to this institution and, upon our graduat ing year, we are forced to take our celebrations to a dingy club in Idtchener 1he lack of control and/orpoor securit) at the Fed IlallNcw Year's celebrationis completelj unrelated to our graduating el-ents, me should not be peiial17ed for somcone else's irresponsibility 1 his is our a h a mate1 and T do not understand why I haw to take a stinky school bus to a run do\\n club m Kitchenel for a grad event because a bunch of thugs decided to hutt someone during a non school term event1

substitutes for Styrofoam or n o composting program, but items that could be re-used such as plastic bags are thro\xm out without a thought. I feel that Hiilgmail Lcuilg's articlegives toomuch credit t o the Village One cafeteria.This cafeteria stops using dishes after a certain time and the only alternative is to indulge in wasteful practices. In the name of convenieocc, our planet will suffer and us along with it. Unttl these practices change, I will continue to cat less at places like Brubaker's, 1will walk away when T see coffee sewed it1Styrofoam cups and T wvill proudlj- carry silvenvare in m!. backpack. E~ei-yone of us makes a difference and if we don't care, why should ai~yoneelse?

Biting the hand that feeds

7b the etlifor, Get rid of the excessivewaste! To the ediior, 'l'his letter is in response to I-TingmanJ,eung's "Campus eateries create excessire waste" in the bebniani 7 edition of I q h f . As an environmental studies student, I would like to commend the insightful comments made on how campus eateries produce escess waste. Every time I throw- out my paper plate or use salt that is in a little packagc rather than a bulk dispenser, the same questions puz7le me. How can a school with a faculty of eilvironmental studies and various on-campus environmental organizations be so unsustainable? \\:hy is so much effort needed oil an individual basis to create environmentally friendly practices? Ina high volume place such as Brubaker's, not only are there no

Two words about this Evan hfunday, "comic artist extraordmairc": totalpncli. I mean, thanks for writing about my comic book and all, but when I was interviewed I didn't know it was going to become such a massive feature. I would have been much more belligerent. Two full pages in the centrefold!?Jesus 1I. Christ! You didn't g1.e that much coverage to Mark Schaanwheil he was awarded a Rhodcs scholarship! And what did I do? Scribble out some crappy comic book. I guess I should be flattered, but it was pretty horrifying. Does anyone rcally need to know about a spelling bce I attended m the third grade? O r hon often I use the word "stuff' in place of a descriptive noun? I apologize to any readers who spent d u a b l e minutes rcadiilg limitless iniilutiac about my mundane esistence. For the record, T didn't come to Canada to start a "ne\~life" or anything so romantic my father -

got transferred I'm not all that funny I ' m bitter, as you can surely tell from this letter And ves, 1 do dress and sound like an idiot I'mlust a regular lack assedgcck and really not worthy of a centrefold spread And if it was a centre fold, you could at least ha5 c had me show some s h Thanks anyway

Nothing can be done

I a m a fourth-year computer scicncc student and T will be graduating soon. But before I leaw, I want the administration at 17;.aterloo to understand something there was nothing T could do hen \ ou deregulated my program and increased mv tuition more than 200 per cent o, er the last fn e years There wasn't much I could do when you watered don n ml program and graduated students with n o love or talent for (3only to achicvc your government quota. And there wasn't much I could do when you closed down my \tudcilt bars to try and help your public image Rut there are still some things 1 can and will do when the alumni association calls me and asks me for money, T w-ill not g r c . \Ylien T work as a manager and am in charge of hinng decisions, I will not instantly assume a candidate from the Unix-ersityof \\ aterloo is competent or qualified. And when my own son or daughter is ready to attend school I \xi11 adnse them to thmk long and hard before choos~ i i ga school whose administration is s o detached from the student body and faculty. I encourage everyone else to do the same - Brett

11.A. 1 ,Lg<

4A cmpufer imnu Scary thoughts To the edzfor, Scary. That's the only word of which I can tlink when I read in the paper, or hear on the radio, or see on T V an opinion similar to that of Eric K'ong ("Start the war!"). I am afraid that a whole country, an entire people, will be destroyed for nothing. Perhaps it's that I'm simply not on the same intellcctualplane as George \V. Bush, but I cannot comprehend what justifies war. Iraq may have weapons of mass destruction. So what? The IJ.S. undoubtedly has them.. . and not lust one or two, but the largest arsenal in the world. Furthermore, lraq has threatened not once to use the U.S. a n~~clcarwcapon,wl~crcas is headstrong on initiating a war that will inevitably invo1~-etheir use. That's not the worst part.. . the

worst part 19 that Bush, and thosc who support a war, arc a illmg to condemn an entire ci\4ian popula tion for the actions of one man 1 5houldn't be \urpri\ed after all, all of Afghanistan was con demned for the action? of bin Lad~n As far as Mr \Y. ong's statement that Saddam FIUSSLIII'S son made allusioiis to terrorism.. . of course he did! \\'hat more can be expected From a people who ha-e themsel~res been terrorized by o w r a decade of sanctions, who, as a coilsequerlce of these sanctions, live life with the barcst of necessities. T h s war will indeed trigger more terrorism, not by the government of Saddam 1 iussein, but by individuals who have &thing more to lose, individuals who ha\ e been drircn to desperation. T would like to clarif!. my own opinion on this matter. I, in no way, support thc acts of 9/12, or any other terrorist act for (hat matter. I simply am stating what I believe will soon become fact. Finally, what frightens me most is George Dubya hmself. I hear him speak with the qualities of conviction, of sincerity, of a su preme righteousness. Bush actually believes that starting a war is 1-irtuous. This man is milling to unleash a great evil and yct sees no mrongm this act. Scary. -

Careful with yourwords

I understand why Ali Asaria calls MarkHarding's anti Islam conference hateful, but hoxv "racist"? Last I checked, Islam was a religion, not an ethnicity. Calling ail Islamophobe racist implies that only Arabs are Muslim and is therefore a disservice both to non- Arab Muslims and nonbluslun Arabs. In fact, the majority of Muslims are not Arab (though the majority of Arabs are hluslun). I laud your article because I believe truth will only prevail ifwc declare it, Mr. Asaria, but employing unnecessarily mcendiary terms such as "racist" will only cloud reason and inductively, truth.

Still have fears? To tbe edifor, Two Saturdays ago, T was lust as shocked as anybody to hear the news of the Space Shuttle Columbia csplodmg over Texas. But For some reason, I wasn't so shocked to hear the president, in his address to the nation, mention the words "terrorist threat" with the disaster. I n the nation still cnplfed in the fear of terrorism from the events of 9/11, it bends my mind to think why Bush continues to brainwash

the countrj7wvtthfear. Ever since that dreadful September morning, ex-eqtliingm America seems to ha1 taken a back seat to fear. \X'e've all seen social and other funding spiral down the drain as Bush rallies for bilhons to be spen on the V a r Apinst Terror.' The media as well, constantly pumping out stories full of fear (murders, coilspiracics, ctc.) doesn't help matter much either. As Michael Moore displays in Bon,bngJOr Colxmhine, the government and the media don't even need a good reason to put rear in the public. For example, the justics department raising the lex-el of warning in the States for so-callcd general threats, as was done last week It's nu noncler llmericans seen to be on the edge when they heat. anything terror related. 'l'his blank of fear seems to be turning the States mto its own worst enemy. Khenpeople get scared, the! free^ A natural reaction. So now we see majority of scared iiincricails too afraid to go out, spend their mone and m reality contributing to the SIOTV economic times. 'l'hey are em becoming scared of their own neighbours. Its no wonder gun sales and gun deaths continue to rise in the United States. Bush's modern America seems to be all about the consumption o fear. Ylub-ya' can keep scaring the hell out of his "fello\+ Americans,' but judpng From thc negatives th: I see coming out of it, I really dou this fear will help the country in th long tun.

How good is an electronic securitysystem?

I understand why people would complam about the lack of an elcctromc securit) tags] stem for librarl booha at UK ,howevei, I find myself actually somewhat unpresed by the usage of a securit attendant to protect the library fro theft Though it is certaiul~less efficient thanan electronic system, the fact that any potential thief would llaw to walk bv an actual person would likely deter anyone except those withincredible ilerve Also, in a large, maze like building like the Porter hbrar), an electronic tag could easill be bypassed sunply by tipping the taF off in one of the hundreds of corneis of the libtaw (for agood laugh, throm the tag in someone's pencil case aftem ards) This makes the electronic spster far from foolproof at LT\Y, and perhaps the question suddenly changes fromefficiency toeffectivc ncss. . . Go! \Y arriors go!


Cigarette ads won't convince anyone of anything To fhe etklor, "Please stop promottng smoking to protect our shdents from starting or ma~ntatninga habit that severe17 effects theirhealth."'l'hat's really what it's about: "prutecttng" students. I would have thought we, as discerning adults, would be capable of setting our own course in life, but evidently not. It seems we're back m childhood with mommy warmng us about the hot stove. For the record, I thmk smoktng is a repugnant habit with little or no

redeeming qualities; but this doesn't mean I thtnk it's wrong for someone to smoke. A s long as the sin taxes are rolling in, I-say light np. As long as smokers keep it away from non-smokers who object (and chtldren who can't oblect), 1say let the good times roll. Smoking isn't a death sentence, it's a highly risky activity. My grandfather has smoked for about five decades and he's fine; other people aren't so lucky. T thtnk smohng is too great a rtsk (not to 'mention cost), so I don't do it. Tf students continue to smoke, it's because they're addictedand/or thepenjoy it; eitherway, a cigarette ad isn't going to affect them. As for

non-smokers: tobacco companies are offenng a product; take it or leave it. These days we're all aware of the nsks of smokmg; if we decide to start, we've got no one to blame but ourselves. But maybe I'm misunderstanding the issue; smoking is a bad thing and maybe getting rtd of cigarette ads would be a good thing. But while we're at a, let's get rid of all the other ads in Iqirillt promotiilg products and acttvttieswithattendant rtsks: fatty foods, sex, alcohol-fuelledpartying. TIuzzah for the Nanny State.


Discounting stereotypes, remembering diversity ies in Silicon Valley North

UNDEFEATED Of course there is the classicgay male stereotype.1ie isarts~,crcative, colourful and ultimately effeminate. He may look like a rax-er-hd or a Gap ad and the colour of his shoes might match the stripe on his sweater Fashionable and maybc a httle uptight, he is rcrball~and emotionally expressiveand Lkes the occastonalcigarctte Coutit them There arc about 12 problems wtth that stereotype Not allgay males are arts)., creatwe or

never smokedacigarette in their life. Wowerer, it is not the stereotypes relating to ntcotine addiction or preppq clothmg that haunt so man) homosexual males, but rather the wry stereotype that calls for allgay males to be effeminate. A few weeks ago I met a very intelligent and optmonated young man. To preserve his anonyrmty I'll refer to him as Neil. Neil had approached me (knowing that I wrote for Imprntt) to tell me that he had a bit of a beef with one of m j articles More spectfically, he was bothered by my arttcle entttled "Gaydar the homo-homing device," prtnted in the October 4

reasomg and asked what I would say about other types of g q men: gay men n ho did not conform to an! sort of gap stereotvpe He argued that for me tcr call "gaydar" a cructalpart of the gay lifestyle, then all gay people would need to conform to agay stereotype. Keeping that point in mind, Neil then asked me what I would say to straight-actinggay men. To this, I was speechlesc, Neil was rtght Non-conformmggay males represent a significantpvaion of the overall gay community See STEREOTYPE, page 13

The one-sided crush HERAMB'S HAREM You know what I'm talking about! When there emsts that one person who's completely infatuated with you, salwatmg each time you're m their presence But you aren't interested in their advances. I've had

she enters, your legs turn to jelly All your buddies know this so they're teasing you left, right and centre tn front of her Just so your state of psychological fragilitytakes a further pounding But worst of all, this chick knows it and ts trying to mform you of her dismterest She's of course usmg the utmost of tact m d m g so And when she finally



punctures it with, "I've got to go now and meet my new boyffiend Thor." Weren't the signs blatantly clear? I mean each ttme you approached, her demeanoxwould change. It would become m ~ r e ' i n d i ~ n acuz nt she couldn't stand the sight of your ke. See CRUSH. page 12

Hussein: weapons and oil A

Continued from page 9

What I object to is attackmg under the cloak of fear which the current U S . administration has shrouded its citlxens wtth. F,ven toppling Ilussetn would not eltminate the possibility of a VX nenregas attackwhtcht5 avadable outside of Iraq

Let's be honest, the U S wants to attack Iraq to tnstall a puppetleader and develop a sphere of influencemaresource-rich region which can ensure the U S access to oil in the long run,not to mentton the positme qhort term wealth gams for vanous U S oil barons (not the least of whtch being Bush and Cheney) There, was that so hard?

I believe this to be the intention of the U S ,and, having shd so, I thmk attacking Iraq makes a lot of sense for the U S and I certainly won't crittcizc thcm for doing tt Let's get sertous, the world is a compctitrxv arena, we may as well deal with the real tssues than hide behind some thinly veiled network of propaganda and deception.

udents: With excellent professors, inand NSERC Chairs, state-of-the-art oing research collaborations with the

d cutting-edge research.


Cinnamon heart-on time TOUCHED Valentine's day. 24 hours during ea~hcalendar~earinwhichweare expected to display feelings of love to our sipficant other. If only it was this simple. If we're not complaining about bemg angle we're stressingabout creatmgthe perfect expression to displayour passion Single or not, I have felt bombarded by the whole Valentine's day fiasco for quite some tune I miss the days when celebrating included decoratinglitth paper bags and clipping them to your

desk so that throughout the day ' classmates coulddclivcrvalcnt~ncs. LooLngat my past cspencnccs, I find it difficult to prnpulnt the creation of my negative Valentine's' day sentiments. Being single for the majority might play a part or perhaps the fact that the one year I had a serious bpyfmend a went completely awry -disastrous in fact My past simply heightens my nausea, but doesn't create and sustain the sick feeling m the pa of my stomach that rises throughout the day. It is commercialization,the encouragement of evil that drives . me mad This activity convinces us to spend the extra money, go the extra mile In turn>you have been sucked into the tumultuous tornado of Valentine's day There are many ways to be caught commercialsthat runweeks

beforehand, storcspackcdwith items o f prnk, rcd and white -all 'in attempts to c;itch ) ou \ v ~ t l ithe rise of ohligarot-~ rnclmauons. \\'hat 1 don't understand is why ~t's necessary to designateaday for such antics Discussing this topic with my pareints, my dad -after explainingthe history of St Valentme - replicd with "it's an excuse "Since they are so busywith work and the kids, having such a day is necessary to fit it into their schedules Loolung at affection in this light seems rational Simply, it's a dayt o do somethtng special with the one you love, but it is possible to create complicationsby going over board Instead of beuig b m n washed, this occasion should be used to displayyourcreativity Screw the roses, chocolates and store bought cards; instead, draw from your

Feds campaign highlights VOU! OFF MY PLANET!


Wow. It's great tobe back. Elec tions arcfk They're also really stressful and screw up your eatmg . and sleeping habits (I've lost 10 pounds). In fact, I pretty much zoned out of non-Fcds-relatedactivity for about three weeks there Next week I'm sure I'll be on a rant about Iraq or somethmg, but for ndw L offer some reflections on the Feds campaign. As you are reading this, your new Feds exec has been chosen already, so this may come back to haunt me, but what the hell Team red's posters. Guys, you know I love you, but what's the deal? Do you have any idea how many people asked me "what's with the red posters," Some said they looked satanic; others suggested they could be communist Talk about a lose-lose unpression! Spell checkingmposters.

Apparently Rob Robson, if elected, is plannmg on doing "researh" and my worthy opponent 1,iam McIIugh-Russellwas a "Forsh" leader Take a few extra seconds next time, people. Yes, I know I look Lke an id~ot on my posters but you should've seen the pictures I didn'tuse Yours truly is not terriblyphotogenic (see column header), so my smiling shots usually end up making me look like I'm hammered instead Perhaps that scored me the drunken vote, who knows? Speaking of pictures, I rather enjoyed the contemplative hand-on chin one of Liam ("I'm thinking so hardabout your education!") as well as the Andrew Dilts one where he's way over on the left side, as if trying to escape from the picture. Centre, pleasel Also, a lack of pictures team Orange, why no photos? Oh, I get it Let the athers show how unphotogenic they are and'then pick up votes by default. Smart If I hear the word "communtcation'' one more time, someone is going to get a chair over the head I loved listemg to the VP internal "debates." Guess what? Eueyone is in favour of clubs. More


EX Teaclrer Troinfig Courses .

hieusive 50-howTESL c m m a C*srroom lawgrmMt tcebniqoea Detpiled lassen plpnntilg Ski& de~elopmcot:grnsmpr, pronun Chti01, spenlrieg, Pml ~ i i h g Comprebennive tarblng materials a T * pme* hKladcd 1,idbgs of dooh, a d and remubmfrom arolsld the m l d


clubs, more money for more clubs, more support with more money for more clubs1 Hooray! Once,just once, I want to see a VP internal candidate who's agamst clubs Or pro apathy Maybe next year News fla~hwhen we're talking about CASA, we don't mean the Canadian Asian Students Association We mean the Canadian Alliance of StudentAssociations If you were one of the thousands of poor kids who had to endure one of my classroom appearances,I am offertngcash rebatcs for wasted class time until the end of the voting period Oh, what a shame - guess that m e w it's too late now Suckers This whole election may have been pointless, since given the current deadlockbetween the Feds and adnun, there q h t not be a Federationof Students next year due to lack of funds. Memo to the current Feds:we need our bars back ASAP and I don't just mean for the booze. Next week is back to the usual. Prepare to have the boat rocked, baby.

unique relationship to producc somcthiiig sycct and scntimmtal. In this instance, w e doesn't matter (I can't belicvc I'm bcing smccre!) and ncrthcr does pncc. '1'0 follou the clichb "it's the thought that c~unts"is most appropriate Going too far can also be achieved physically I mean, I'm a fan of e h b i tionism and all, but on Valentine's day such displays arc puke-worthy Extreme PDA is absolutelyun couth on this sensitive day for singles There is no need to ostracizeus any further As a single white female, my plans for this horrid day remain empty. Of course, like many women in my situation I mtght hope for a ' crush (or past boy) to come to his senses and take a nsk. At my age, hoprever, I'm aware of this small likelihood; but a girl can dream rtght? I'll try to pretend that it's just

a regular day In the life of Mlchelle Wait a second Is there wch a thing Anyway, my choice of activitywill aim to avoid love birds, exboyfriends, ex-flings and so forth u on attempt to introduce some normalcy into my life Apparently there are anti-Valentine'5 celebra tions being held at various bars What a day to pick up! Strangcr things have happened much stranger On this day devoted to passion, avoid ridingthc commercialtzed wave Focus on the person with whom you spend it If you're spending it alone (or with other singles) have h,remembering tha apartner is not necessary for enloyment and that being involved does not determine value It's just thatwe're picky, not defective, right

Crush: whv is she not J

interested? Continued from page 11

But somewhere in vour little head, a voice kept saying you had a chance It's them damn little voices that mess you up, tell you to rob . banks, snort crack, read "Mrs. Dallpway " ~nevitablyyou analy& thc situation and wonder what she found so unappealmg about you. Was it my height, or was it my high-pitchedvoice? Well, maybe it was my love of hermaphroditic porn At least she didn't find out about my third testicle This other girl I dug was a drug addict I think She was paper thm, with an almost heroine chic look, just without the c h part ~ I mean, she ain't p n n a grace any Pansian runways anytune soon.. She also had a lisp A lisp isn't the sexiest of speechimpedunents. Sadly, her name was Sassy. It's harsh to think she has been lisping her own name her entire life. But, I was still infatuated with Sassy. Maybe it was her love of ancient Roman rhetoric that made my heart go boom. Or cuz she.had this reputation of being the village whore.

In any event, our romance was just not meant to be Again I was left wondering wha drove her awaj Well, technically,sh hated me from the start, but that was a petty detail I hadB ~oliddml stash and from all accounts I was only d d l y ugly 1 thought for surc that would be enough to win her heart I guess not. Oh well; anothej one bites the dust Sometimes I wonder if worktnp out would help m the female wooing department If you've seen my arms, let's just say there's more defmtion on a bone. Or I could continue as is, and invest heavily m the hand-lotion industry ' hramachandran@~mprint.uwaterloo.c

Write 300 words or less, include your name, .programand contact info; send to letbers@impint-ca


A tale of two countries

I'here's a certain country in the \fiddle East which possesses one quarter of the planet's known oil reserves. Unfortunately,it is ruled ~yan oppressive dictatorship,w-hich ;ports an appalling human rights record (corporalpunishment, .orturc, persecution of noilMuslims) and is dogged by persist:nt allegations of aiding and lbettinginternational terrorism. Judging by the above record, one vould think that this country vould be short-hstrd for member;hip in the elite " h i s of Evil" club tnd would have an American nvasion scheduled for sometime in h e next six months. Oddly

enough, it's the neighbouring country that's looking down the gun barrels of Amencan tanks while this one is continually lauded for its commitment to the ' w a r on 'l'error" and its leaders get invited over for barbecues at president George \V. Bush's Tesas ranch. This certain country is SaudiArabia; it is one of the most repressive places in the world and the single biggest example of American hypocrisy in fightingits war against terrorists. In case anybody has forgotten, Saudi Arabia paid the b d s of Afghanistan's Taliban regime (Osama's pals) for years, until it became reulb embarrassing to do so and, according to The Emnomisf, "Saudl money is financing the spread of a highly intolerant strain of Islam, \X1ahhabism." It sure looks like the American government has forgotten, as the US. embassy in Saudi Arabia has this to say about their relationship: "the vibrancy of the US-Saudi relation-

shp, based on multifaceted interests in the political, economic, business and humanitarian fields, remains secure." There's also the small matter of that big hole in Manhattan where those twin towers used to be. Fifteenof 19 September 11hijackers wcrc Saudis and it docs not take a great leap of imagination to figure out what would haw happened if they had been Iraqis instead. Then again, what's a little mass murder between allies? But apparently, it's still that guy in Baghdad who's the real problem. The Saudi royal family (all 6,000 of thcm) doesn't work too hard at even saying nice things about its "ally" in public statements. But, if you want to know what is really on the mind of a fundamentalist dictatorship, simply take a look at what appears in the state-controlled media. Mixed between stories of how Jews use the blood of Palestinian children to bake matza bread and

updates on the latest public bchcadiiigwas a recent editorial condemning \Vashington â&#x201A;Źor pursuing "racist and Nazi-like policies that appeal to the cowboy president George \T'. Bush," in the daily Okqnewspaper. I'lent! of other people in the Middle East share those same sentiments to be sure, but none of them get called staunch allies ofAmerica. Saddam must get pretty incredulous when he sees all this. Saudiborn terrorists fly airplanes into American buildings while thc IGngdom bankrolls terrorist training camps with its petrodollars. He inl-adcsa little dictatorship to the south 10 years ago and becomes public enemy number one. 'l'ruth really is stranger than fiction. If it really wants to fight terrorism, the United States must be upfront in showing its citizens the connections between their fuel tanks, the hypocrisy of the House of Saud and the terrorists that Americans wish to defeat. hrthermore,

the United States sho~ddtake action to ensure that Saudi Crown Prince Abdullahand his 6,000 cronies can no longer repress their pcople and cause trouble abroad. Luckily enough this can be done without firing a single shot at anyone. First, remove all American troops from the kingdom and secondly stop buying any Saudi oil. It's not that difficult to accomp1ish;illberta already pro1 ides more oil tu the American market thaii Abdullah's desert despotism. 'l'his dries up the money laundered off to terrorists and would lcad to the collapse of the House of Saud, as it would no longer be able to bribe off its citizens with big flows of oil money to ignore massive royal corruption. lack out the legs from a corrupt regime and let the Saudi people choose their own future. Maybe in time Americans and Saudis might actuallybecome real friends,instead of allies of mconvenience.

Waiting for the dav to come Optimus, for one week. Obviously I was very sad and lost after all, a kid without toys is like Needles IIall without the co-op process. All I could think about was defeating Bowscr the evil dragon. I got so close before this happened. 'l'hen finally, the day came and I got my toys back. L o o h g back on it, I find it tnterestmg that, even though I went right into the Nintendo, I found time later on to play with Optimus. It was as if, ex-en though I had my bright and shiny Nintendo to play with and <>ptimuswas lust sitting there on the table unused, I always found comfort in that fact that I had it and felt robbed mhcii it mas taken awa\ from me I his caused my interest in Optimus again, even if for only one ir~oretime. And so, after three longweeks, we students are still without the Bomber and Fed Hall \Y7e haw long since made temporary adjustments to fill the void. But we anticipate the day -

\\'hen I was a Ijd, my parents <gave me an Optimus Prime Transformer action figure for my birthday. I lox-ed it. I would play with it all day long - I'd eren bring it to school mithme. \\'c wcrc inseparable, through thick and thin, dirt and mud. ,. I hat is, until a year later when 1 qot a Nintendo. It was like night and day a l l of n sudden I found myself coinpletely enthralled by Super Mario and Duck Hunt, while Optimus collected dust on my desk. One day, I got in trouble at school and my parents took away my toys, the Nintendo and

when the doors will reopen, and we loathe this whole ordeal, we really do. But, this might be exactly what FedHall needed. Let's face it Fed Hall has a horrible yet deep-rooted reputation of being the first-year hangout, and in reality it definitelyis.Upper-gear students go to lied during first year and riel-er look back. Unless they work there, or there's a good concert, or Tony the X-Rated Hjipnotist, or perhaps somc special events (Summerfest and New for example), they Year's CT-C, refuse to step foot in the place, especially on a Thursday night. For aplacc that's conveniently on campus, has $1.75 specials on virtually ewrything, spotlight dancers (well, it works for lay and of course, is the largest oncampus bar in North America, it has a terrible campus-wide stigma. Even the Vertigo Tmmgc didn't work too well in bringing the upper years to Fed. -

Stereotype: cbfference between sexual preference

And for this reason, they can not Ie ignored. The fact that many gay nen and women do exist that ion't fit the stereotypes shows just low very diverse the gay commuiity really is. Because thegay mmmunity is so diverse, homo;exualitycanonly refer to sexual xefcrence,not tolifestyle. \Yl'hile I do still stand by my heory that gay men sometimes :hoose to conform to gap stereq p e s t o make them more visible

even though they know they wouldn't. And this miniscule part of them might cause them to go, even if for only one hour, when (if) Fed opens again. And that onehour is all Fed needs to boast their benefits again. It will be interesting to see what happens when Fed Hall opens a p m . T could be wrong, though. And if I am, then Optimus goes right back to the table to collect dust all over again.

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and lifestyle Zontinued from page 11

Fed Hall has a golden opportunity now, in somc part, to erase its reputation. \Vhoever becomes manager next has to be aware of this. Obviously, to every upper year student the Bomber is the staple andwe crave it back. But if absence makes the heart grow fonder, then there is a definite chance that some upper year students are starting to get curious about Fed again n o t because they want to relive first year, but because it's not available to thcm anymorc for thcm to visit,

to other gay men, (as was the point of my "gaydar" article) 1was definitely not right in leaving my readers with the assumption that all gay men do this. Furthermore, I would hope that my readers might learn from my own mistake. Peoples'mterests, hobbies, clothmg and values are not defmcd by their sexuality.Neil has reminded me that we are all so very different, whether we share the same sexual orientation or not. Man or woman, whlte or asian or hspanic or black, gay or bisexual or transsexual or

straight, no one possesses a duplicate.Sexualitydetermines only our sexuality. Our upbringing, values and attitudes determine our interests. I would like to thank all of my readers who share with me their opinions on my articles or just gay issues in general. Plcasc continue to e-mad me or stop me in the street, as t h s column is for you, not for me. I would also like to thank Neil. (You know who you arc.)

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Fc'cntures&tor hLcheUe Titus

Short enplores an neat grocery store -page 16


Features a r n i t m t Andrea l i e r s d . fentures@rnpmt uwa~crloucil




.. .







Get ready, it's time to get kinky Explore the extraordinary word of I-amaSutra Michelle Titus IMPRINTSTAFF

\%'hat most people envision when they hear the words "Kama Sutra" arc detailed pictures of sexual positions. After checktng this book out of the library I was surprised to find that there were no illustrations.. . absolutely none. It became apparent after reading the preface and introduction that the misconceptions made about this being a

descriptionsof sexualpostures and poses are a schematic statemcnt, actuallyhavinglittleimportance in the book at all. However, it is this aspect of the work that can be seen throughoutmany areasofIndiancu1ture.The IGmaSutraaffectedpoctry, literature, sculptucc and dra\vings. Most easily recognized are the works of visual art. An example of such displays is found on Hindu temples.

Many fmd this an odd combination; sexand religion.Lookmgat their faith, this odd mixture is clarified in the introduction because"the union of a man and woman is conceived as the symbolof&vinecreationandisn't lookedupon as a base or unworthy act but as a transformation from duality into unity." It is when the originalversionwaswritten by Vatsyayana; sometimebetween the firstand fourth centu-

"Dedtcated to that small pomon of the Britishpubltcwhich takes enlight enedinterest in studyingthe manncrs and cuctoms of the old east," Although the bookwas not expected to be enjoyed by many, it gained mmediate appeal This work introduced Westemerb toco~ta~postures,ways of maktng love and sexual technques, even though some are diescribed as "too acrobatic or too adlusted to In dtan physiques and temperaments to be capable ofgeneral adoption''

preface, is due to the "fundamental Indian attitudes" that are exrpressedwithmit. This continues permitted by their husband. It is ofAttractmgOtherstoOneself.Nc ries AD. to be overlooked in modern society possible, though, less to sap, I flpped to the second] - that they were only Writtenin Sanfor the KamaSutra seemsto stand for allowed to study the aspects ofwifely where I found 10 chapters. I le skrit,~twasfirsttranslatedb~rRichard "desire,lustorphysicallo~~e."Consid- duties, ~h~ role of in this learnedthatmenandwomenare Burton andpdntcdin 1883.This pub- eringhspiece for seriousstudy seems bookis toha~,e~~acertainamountegogzcd on the s,zc licationwasintended fora small read- utterly ridiculous to many due to its their genitalia and thus gixTenan of freedom; but the emphasis is on ership of the British public who were generalconsiderati(masanert~tic book; mal equivalent and pired duties and decomm," although, "an interested in Indian customs. In fact, however, this assumption is wrong. c~a~orateco~cofconductispresc~d appropriatemate, the book is dedicated to this group. The author, VatSyayafla, corn Other chapters discussedmat for her. but her relattonshi~with the posed it based on the conducts outsuchas the embrace,luss, scratch husband wasn't one of inferiortty." lined in the Holy Writ (the religious biting and s t r i h g . All contain in After briefly exploring the world book in 1ndla)with the Intentions to estingideas, but the chapterdeuc of Kama Sutra, its contributions to benefit the world. He was a religious to positions completely baffled the study of the Hindu culture are student, thus, the Kama Sutra is conevident. It raises great curiosities in Without pictures 1had to rely on sidered to be didactic. It focuses on vivid imagination. If you're fee myself concerningthe actualcontent one aspect of "the Hindu conception exceptionally brave give them a of this estraordinary work. I must ofa fulllife" whichis "the harmony of remaining cautrous of course. admit that my disappointment for three activities": Dharma, Artha and This piece of literature appeal the lack ofillustrations was great, but Kama. Dharma is "a life of religious I overcameandwas quickly engrossed the tastes of many, whether you' obligation;" Artha,"socialwelfare (ecohistory buffor sexaddict. Useit as in its origin. Of everything I read, the nomic and political)" and Kama, "the most amusingwas anexcerpt display- wd1,remembeqthe impact cre: life ofthe senses." Kamais "the enjoy ingthe sutra formdescribingattributes by this book was and still is ment ofappropriateobjectsby the five of men who obtain success with phenomenal. T rccommcnd it hi4 senses which is assisted by the mind women. It defi~tely makes me smirk. a i ~ dplan on exploring it in tr together with the soul." My introduction to the world of depthin thenear future.Who knc Vatsyayanawrote these culturalbeliefs I<amaSutrawasextreme.Although I maybe 1'11 get a little rambuncti in sutra form. Thts form was develhave not yet had the pleasure to read and take a hands-on approach. oped in early Sanskrit literatureandis its entirety, I slummed its contents comprised of "compressed expres- and was drawn in by those topics of Source: The Kuma Sufra sions, using the minimum number V a t y y a n a trunslated Ily Jzr Rzt great mterest. ofwords." It is believed that this form Burtotz m7d F.E. Ar011LhnuL The book is divided into parts, was developed in order to simplify parts into chapters and chapters into Prgace W.G.Anher Introdn memorization for students. In fact, paragraphs. There are seven parts: In0y K.M. Punzkkar there are suspicions that the Kama George Alletz and L 'nam I A. 1 troductory, OnSexualUnion, About Sutra was used as a form of sex eduthe Acquisition of a Wife, About a don. 1963 cation. Women of high class studied Wife, About the Wives of Other Peoit and then continued to do so if ple,About Courtesans, On the means - -



A day by any other name... The history of V-day What? in a name? That which w e calla rose

Can you guess which food items are aphrodisiacs?

Foods that heighten vour sexual libido Have a sexy dinner with oats Andrea Kerswill

Whether attached or single this Valentine's day, it is alwaysgood to consider the natural things. Everyone has a sexual libido that exists as part of being human. So why not have fun with what the earth provides and try some aphrodisiacs?There are many different types of aphrodisiacs and some of the most interesting and playful lie m the category of food. AlthoughHealthCanadaandthc FDA do not acknowledge aphrodisiacs as scientificallyproven to heightenyour sexual desires,therearenotable chemicals andinfluenceswithince& foods that can increase your libido through endorphins released in the brain and anincreasedreleaseofhormones.Take a big bite this Valentine's day.Whether you are attached or single, cook something up that will make your V-day a perfectpleasure centre. Here is alist of foods that contain

chemtcalsorinduce anaturalreleaseof chemcals m your bod) Asparagus -it basically makes men want to pee as it is diuretic m nature The need to urinate causes the pro duction of testosterone Banana- the chemical mgredients consist of chelatingmnerals (mtner als that combme with other chemical compoundsto formanng) and the bromelain enzyme, tQrd which helpswith the break down of proteins in the body These mgredients improve male libido Celery -although usually aperfect combination with Cheese U h 7 , this vegse stimulates the pituitary gland (the small oval gland attached to the base of thevertebratewhich controls secrebom andmfluencesgrowth, me tabolism and maturation), which re leases sexual hormones The seeds also contain v i t a m s A, 13 and C, which are also libido boosters Chili - like many ?pice\, cayenne pepper chilies stimulate circulationm


the blood because of the powerful irritant action of the cMi pepper that is maintained throughut the gastro-intestinaltract. ocolate-this is the most or& nal ofaphrodisiacs. Itcontainsphenyl andethylame- two chemicalsthat stimulate the brain and help to release endorphms,whichare agroup ofproteins with potent analgesicproperties that occur naturally in the brain. Gingko -improves blood circulation to extremities of the body and this helps in improving libido. Oats encouragethe release of testosterone in males. Oysters - this is another popular favourite. They are rich in phosphorus, iodine and zinc, which are essential for good prostate health and testosterone production in men, as well as estrogen balance in women. Shellfish- zincinshellfish increases sperm mobility. -

their sleeves for one week. From this we get the cxprcssion ' T o wear your heart on your sleeve." Also, in the 1700sunmarried women pinned five bayleavestotheirpdlows onthe eve of Steve Kennedy Valentine's day.They pinnedone leaf IMPRINTSTAFF to the centre of the pillow and one to each corner.Ifthe charmworked,they Valentine'sday is our yearly celebration saw their future husbands in their and dedication to love and romance. dreams. Yet, what's in its name? This tradition Another custom in this age would comes tous fromthirdcentury Rome, have women rise before dawn and whenEmperorClaudiusI1,whiler~- stand by their window watching for a ing,outlawedrnarriagefor youngmen mantopass; the firstman they see they and cancelled all engagements.There will marry w i h a year and we have, was a shortage of soldiers and it was believed that unmarried men would 'Good momw! Tis St. Valentine? Day more likely signup for duty thanmar- All in the mormng betirne, ried men who would be reluctant to And1 a maida<yournandntio,,, Leave their f a d e s . To beyozrr zulentine!" Young Roman lovers still wished -Shakespeare,Harn/er,Act4,Scene5,46-49 to be marriedandValentine, a Christian priest, continued to perform the Flowers became connected with ceremonies in secret. Valentine was Valentine's dayinhe 17thcenturywhen discovered and as a result of his defi- IGngI IenryIVofFrancegaveapartyin ance was sentenced to death. Whde honour of Saint Valentine and every waitmg for his punishment in +son, ladyreceivedabouquetof flowers from he fellinlovewiththe jailor's daughter the man who was chosenas her valenwho visited him during his confine- tine. Red roses, the color of blood, ment. Before his death on February devotion and loyalty, mean "I love 14, he wrote her a love letter and you." Yellow roses, which today sigsigned it, "From your Valentme." nify joy and gladness, traditionally Sound familiar?Somebelieve that meant adecrease in love, but canmean we celebrate Valentine's day to com'I love you, but I fear you don't love memorate his death, while others beme.' White roses, the color of purity lieve thatitwasinstitutedby the Chris- and spiritual love, mean 'Our love is tiail church in order to counter the pure.' Orangeblossoms(notnecessarpaganLupercalta festinlheldonFebily roses) represente~rerlastinglove. ruary 15. Duringthis festival, at least The sending of valentines is attribaccording to the myth, all the young uted to the French Duke of Orleans, women would place their names in a Charles. He wrote what were termed large urn and all the young bachelors "amorous addresses." At the end of would chose a name from the urn and theBattleofApcourtin1415,Charles become paired with that woman for was lockedupin the Tower of London the year. Priests of the early church where in his free time he sent these attempted to do away with the pagan "addresses" to his wife. Much later, elements in Rome and in 498 AD, Esther Howland, a resident of Pope Gelasius made Valentine's day Worchesterandaco11egestudentat Mt. officd. He replaced themaidennames Holyoke duringthelate l82Os,decided with those of saints (whichever saint tocreateherownvalentines. Shebought was drawn, one bad to emulate that supplies such as lace and paper from saint for the year) and replaced the England and, with thc help of her pagangod Lupercuswithsaint Valenbrothers and some other assistants, tine. Obviously,the menwerenot too she sold TVorchester" valentines. pleased with the changes and still Around 1830, her business took off sought affection with their loves on and she earned an annual average of Valentine's day. $100,000, m a h g her one of the first Popular beliefs and customs consuccessful businesswomen. nected with Saint Valentine's day unTo put into perspective the enordoubtedly had their origin in England mous size of today's Valentine's day, and France during the Middle Ages. manufacturers of chocolate shpped On February 14, or around halfway $11.4 billion worth of bonbons and through the secondmonth of the par, other sweets in 1999andmanufacturitwas believed that the birds began to ers of non-chocolate confectionary pair. Chaucer writesinhisI'arLam/ 4 shipped $6.3 billion worth of goods. Foulesthat,"For this was sent on Saint So celebrate Valentine's daywithakiss, Valentine's Day/When every fowl or a hug, or a traditional song: cometh there to choose his mate." Some popular superstitionswere that 'Good morning toyou, ttalenfine; ifawornansawarobin flyingoverhead C~~rIyourlock as1 LIO min~onValcntinc's day,itmcant shcwould TIIMbefore and fhree behind m a q a sador.If she sawa sparrow,she Good mnrnitg to-yo%I ahfine." would marry a poor man and be very happy. If she saw a goldfinch, she If that didn't cheer you up, then would marry a millionaire. (Idon't here's something to depresg you think there is anythingin\Vaterloo but About three percent ofpetownerswill sparrows, girls.) give Valenme's day gfts to their pets Also, similar to the Romans, the If you don't get anything for Valen Englishin the Middle Ages had young me's day, know that somewhere out men and women draw names from a there, a dog got more than you &d bowl to seewho their ~alentineswould be and would wear these names on

Fuel vour desire for under $20

Vincenzo's 740 Belmont Ave. West Kitchener 741-1437

It seems sometimes that the romance of Valentine's Day is overshadowed by its cost. Between a nice restaurantmea1,chocolatcsand flowers, many young lovers find themselves spending upwards of $100. If you're a little short on cash, you can try eating at home, but then there are the obstacles of alack of time or culinary ability. This brings us to Vincenzo's. Not only is it one of the most interesting food stores in town, it's also one of my favourite places for takeout. For $20, you can easily buy a meal for two -including tempttng salads, rich pastas and luxurious desserts. Open a bottle of wine, light a couple of candles and you have a ready-made romantic meal. Vincenzo's selection of salads includes several tempting pasta salads as well as more exotic items such as tabbouleh. I sampled the

Wouldn't it be nice to have a guy to buy you food and cook you dinner? caprese salad ($1.49per 100grams) with m a m t e d tomatoes and bocconcim and the artichokecaprese salad ($1.99 per 100 grams) with marinated roasted red peppers, artichokesand bocconcini.Both were excellent.Fresh-tasting vegetablesand tangy dressings perfectly complemented the soft morsels of fresh mozzarella Altcrnativcly,you could start

with some cheese from Vincenzo's extensive selection-and the free samples (at least four types were being sampled on my last visit) allow you to try before you buy. I also recommend their savourypatit ($1.50per 100grams), a deliciously smooth chicken liver pat6 with cracked pepper on top For thc main course,. you have a , number of choices. I sampled the

eggplant parmcggiano ($3.75per serving) and the vegetable lasagne ($3.50).The layers of thinly sliced eggplant were perfectly tender, complemented by plenty of Parmesan cheese and Vmcenzo's tomato sauce. I'm not complaining when I say that the vegetable lasagne tasted more of cheese than of vegetables and the tomato sauce was enhanced with bits of eggplant,

peppers, zucchini and mushroom. Alternatidy, if your culmary sktlls include boiling water, you could serve fresh pasta (the seafood ravioli sounded particularlyappealmg) with one of the excellent storemade sauces. Vincenzo's has cvei~introduced a chocolate pasta,a,vhichI haven't tned yet but the cashier recommended serving it with raspberries ormascarpone checsc. . Vincenzo's selectionof desserts will have you rushing through dinner. While the cost of some of the full-sized cakes is prohibitim, the individualportions are all around $3. I sampled a double chocolate mousse tart ($2.25) that was visually impressive with a garnish of three chocolate curls.'lhe curls were awful:over-sweet and fake-tasting.Fortunately, once they were removed, the tart was quite good. The chocolate mousse balanced bitter chocolate and sweet creamnicely and the tart shell offered acrunchy contrast in texture. If you have any room after all that, Vincenzo's selectton of chocolates, includingValhrona and Droste, will please any connoisseur.Or,the Silver Spoon Fme Chocolates (at Erb and IGng, 884-7979) sells outstanding truffles for only a dollar apiece.



Problem of the week Crossword of love LAST WEEK'S ANSWER Sohowdidyoudo?Take alookatthe answer and compare it to your's Fast, the fastest and the secondFastcstpeoplecross Theyget across in two minutes, and then the fastest person takes one m u t e to come back (three m u t e s total) Once he is back, he hands the flash light to the slowest andsecond slow est two, who cross the bridge in ten m u t e s (13 m u t e s total) Thc second-fastest person comes back with the flashlight, taking two more m utes (15 minutes) Then the fastest and the second fastestcross the bndge one more time, in two minutes The total is 17 minutes Unfortunately, only one person replted to this difficult question And although the response was incorrect, we wouldllke to thankAnwarultIaque for attempting lastweek's p u ~ l and e hope to hear from him as well as others in the future E mad your an swers tous andwewill randomlypick winners from the correct answers Hopefully t h ~will s enticemore of you to e v e these questions a try Also, if you have any problems please sent them tous for futureweeks

o E-mail us at

THIS WEEK Sexualsecrets

This weekend four coupleshave ven tured to a secluded resort to get in on Eachguy (Dave,Ryan,MtkeandL)an) is taking out a girl (Heather, Andrea, Michelle andLisa) Each couple has a dfferent favourite position -sideways pret~el,spooning, doggy style and woman on top Each person is the same age as their partner and each couple has a different age (19 through 22) Find out who is doing what with whom and how old they are Heather is not 20 The couplegoingside by side is 22 Dan and Lisa aren't going out but both of them are over 20 Dave likes it pretzel style Both Andrea and her date and Rpnandhis date(whois nothdrea), wanted to go dancing but the cluns won't let you in if you are under 21 Dan likes her on top but a's not withHeather Good luck sortingup this tangled mess and be sure to check out ncxt week's paper for the answer! This pu771e was located at \~.ui\vclarkson edu/-cainda/logic/4 12 98a htm You can \isit this Web site ifyouarcintcrcstcdm figurngout some tt~ughqu~stionsPlease note the question was slightlymodified by Michelle to add some spice Good luck!



(519) 893-9000

34. Necessary for illicit affair (9)

Down 1. Affectionate play, strokes or caresses (7) 2. Excessively desirous (4) 3. Exciting scsual desire (4) 4. Clap your hands (7) 7. Disorder in,onc's mental state (lo) 8. Inflated self-importance (3) 9. Most staidintercourseposition (10)

10. Respect highly (6) 11. Traditional weddmg settmg (6) 15. Held spellbound (10) 16. Moralpenrersion (10) 19. Boyfriend (4) 22. Voluptuously beautiful woman (5) 25. Valuabl~quality (5) 28. Goingwith the D~lieCups and we're gonna get married (6) 32. Sweetheart (3) 33 Appreciate someone (3)



O N FEBRUARY 15,2003






only at

page 19

FRTDAI.F E B R I 14,2003 T~

Travellers should think before they step Sarah Wood SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Readmg week is here, and a number students arc heading down south to enlo)' the sun while others are g e t t q ready to hit thc slopes and some are going home to just enjoy a week of doing abcolutell nothing According to the Tntcriiational Ecotourism Societ), man) popular touri\t de\tmations are seeing the negatix c impacts of tourism on their local communitics and ern iroiiment Inpcq~ulart r a ~~ldcstinattons such as Cancun,RIcvcoand Hawan, the o x cr d e elopment ~ of the beachfront has led to such phenomenon as beach erosion, floodingand the loss ofnatural wedand habitat In the Pliilippmes, dynarmtmgand miningof coral for buildingmatcrials for resorts has &maged the coral reef ecosystcrn and dcplctcd the local fish populations that sustamthelocalpeo

pie In Ncpal, the incrcasc in the n ~ ~ m b eofr people who visit to go trekkinghas dramatically mcreased the amount of pohtioiim thc area Log glng for building materials and fuel For campfires has lead to deforesta tion, floodmg and landilides as fa1 anav as Bangladesh

Forinanycountries the creationof wasteisaven seriousisaue I'heUmted Nations Fnvlronment Programme (CNCP) clams that cruise ships m the Caribbeanproduce morc than 77,000 tonsofwastecachyear lhistranslates toalmstthreetlme5asmuchgarbage

b\ tourists than bj natir es of the Caribbean Inadditiontowaste,water usagc bj tourists is a major iswe A person on holiday in a\%armclimate illus use up to44Olitiespcrda) ofwater d o u b l e the normal usagc here at home \\ ith the influx of tourists to icniotc areas, sen ices that the? reqwre Inuit also be present These services mclude thtngs suchas fact-foodestab ltshments These tvpcsof scn ices pro duce a great deal of waste such as phsuc,St~rofoamandpaper Man) of the localpeople m these countries ha1e never sccn plastic or Styrofoam be fore,anddonot h o w exactly how to dispose of it I he plane ride to the destinatioi also causes em ironmental dam age The International Cn ilA m tion Authority reports that the number of air passen gcrs incrcascd from 88 donm1973to34 millionm 1994,wlth touriim accounting for at least 60

per cent of air travel I' ounsm then is responsible for a largc portion of air emsions Onestud\~relatedonetrana atlanticreturn flight to all the energ? a person uses vearly (lighting, heating, car use etc) and found that the flight uses almost half of [hat cnergy 1here is apositn e side to tourism for manJr det elopmg countries the tourismmdustryts theirmalor source ofmcomc 1he tourism tndusti~also helps to emplo~mmr of the local pcopIc,therebl mcreasmgdleirstaiid ardof ln mg \\1IIciipcoplc trm el the\ can dex elop a iort of "connection" miththcplacesthe\ \isitwhchcanlead to increased ic\pcct, protection and education for different locations Countries hale recogillzed prob lemsassociatedu it11 tourismandhax c attempted lo do thmgs to improx e the en>ironmentand minimi7c the impacts

Tor example m Belize, a US 961 75 departure taugoesdirectly to the Pro tccted Area Conservation Tmst, a Beli~eanfunddedtcated to thc conscr1 anon of the barrier reef and rainfor est There are things that you can do if youchmsc to trax cl to ensure that the impactsyou ha7 c on thc cnr ironinent and local communities are minimal The International Lcotourism Soci en has recognized se\ eta1 thiiigs that ~ o can u do to hmit lour environ incntal impacts, such as sclcctmg responsible tour operators and p i d e s n hoarca~~areoftheissues regarding

thc cnvironmcnt and contribute to conscn.atlonandpreservatlonefforts,

choosmgenvironmentally fnendlyac coinmodation and following all advisories, rules and regulations re gardmgprotectedarcas,water so~lrces and wildlife habitats

Photographs shed light on shuttle disaster Bioweapons research planned at UC Davis

Sarah Fong and Aaron Katzsch SPECIAL TO IMPRINT

Photograph may hold clue to shuttle disaster

In the wake of the Columbia shuttle disaster, NASA officials arc pouringovcrvidcosandphotographstaken by west coast shuttle watchers as the shuttle passed overhead One mage m particular, taken by an amateur astronomer in San Francisco, shows a purplish bolt of lightning strihng thc shuttle He believe5 that he snapped the mage at 5 53 a m Saturday, the ap prouimatc timc whcn shuttle sensors detected amodest heat build up in the wheelwell.Sevenminutes later, the Columbia broke up 18 mdes over castern Texas, raining debris over a huge area of thc south eastern U S The photographmay depict a rare electrical phenomenon in the Lone known as the ionosphere, more than 40 miles abovc the earth, and opens the pos~ibility that high altitude electro physics may have had an mpact on the shuttle's demise

to screen the gtnetic makeup of their cmbn os 7 he cmbr\ oi are put inalab dish and tcstcd for genetic abnormali A proposal for a bioweapons retics, and then on11 the nolmal em I J ~ ersig I ofCali search facilin at the b r 0~s ate placed in the woman's fornia at Dar is is causing much con womb cern among local residents rhc L S This option helps parents a\oid National Institute of Health is pro the diffic~dtdeciwmofha~ingtoabort x idiiig $150 million for a new faciht) a defect11 c fetus or raismga iickchild on campus that would mclude a soHov c~cr, t h s opfionraisesother ethi callcd Level Ilab, equipped to handle cal concerns regarding the l m t s to the deadliestbiological agents which scientists can determine the It would be built to withitand an genetic makeup of a child unpact by a 747 plane craahand scienIn the U S , ferulity treatment is tists working with the most ~olatile mregu1atcd;csscntiallyallo~vingthosc pathogens would be required to clear who ha\ e the financial resources to 10 access points before entermg or control the health of their fetus leal i g the labs Arearesidei~tshomcvcr,arcnotso Organ transplant causes enthusiastic about a bioweapons re- cancer

search facility bemg b d t m their backyard Concerns range from terror 1stattacks to rogue scientists sneakmg out vials of plague At a recent public forum, morc than 100local rcsidcnts turned out to Ioice tharclsapprox~alwiththeproject Unmcrsity officials,however, indicate that it will take at leait five years to open the facilities, allowingplenty of time for discussion Parents to screen for genetic abnormalities in embryos

The AbingtonReproductiveI&& cine centre near Philadelpluais offer mg parcnts who are at high risk of passing ongenetic dneaies the chance

Ina rare case ofanorgan transplant causing cancer, Scottish doctors re ported that two patients dex eloped melanoma from kidneys that were donated years earlier One patient recovered, and the other died The melanoma cells were apparently dor mant m the donor's kidneys until they were transferred to the recipients The cancer spread because medicmes given to the patients to prevent rejectrooofthe organsweakenedtheir immune systems Although a is normally recommended against using organs from donorswith ahistoryofmelanomaor other cancers, surgeons sometimes

ha1 e to weigh the risks of using an organ from a former cancer patitnt n iththe pressingileed Foralifc sax i g transplant Transfer of cancer fium an organ donor is cxtrcmel\ rare and was thought to be unllkcly Out of the

125,000 transplant procedures per formedbetween 1994and 2001 in thc United States,only24cases ofdonoi related cancer\\ ere found Tenofthose patients died rour of them had re ceixed organ\ from a single donor who had melanoma

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Take a Tour of the new Co-operative Education & Career Services (CECS) Building If you are interested in seeing the new CECS building and learning more about it, meet inside the east entrance (facing South Campus Hall) for a guided, explanatory tour of this wonderful facility on any of these upcoming dates at either 12 noon or 12:30 p.m.: Tues. Feb. 25, Thurs. Feb. 27, Fri. Feb. 28, Tues. March 4, Thurs. March 6, Fri. March 7,2003

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Hockey: goaltenders s h e in Warrior victories Continued from cover

All of the team's players contributed in this the firstwinin the histoq of the UW women's hockey team, which was well earned The victory should give them a boost as they face the division leading Launcr Golden Hawks at home tomorrow at 2 p m

A? for the men, coach Cressman commented earher in the season that if his team was going to win it would have to be the r e d of a total team effort or a superb outing on the part of one of h ~ goaltenders s to steal a game for the team He could not have been more prohfic m his views as his X'arnor team backcdup amonstrous

39 saveperformancefrom their near unbeatable goaltender,Jason\V&rd, with a strong defensive and offensive performanceinaweu-deserved 42 win last Sunday. "PiUard] had an outstanding weekend. He gave us a chance to win," saidCressman of h s g d keeper. The firstpenodofthe men's Sunday afternoon match featured end-toend action with both teamsgettmgqualityscorUW'S Mark Robson (21) and Tyson Brown (8)swarm the net on Sunday. inEchmces;howeverthe result of the first was a Guelph notchedagoal.However, six their opponcnt, who needed the win scoreless tie with Guelph holding the shot advantage 11-9.Tyler Tennant, minutes after the Guelphmarker,Mate to crawl to within one point of the Adam Metherel and Richard Scott all Clarke saucered a pass to Trevor finalplayoffspot. "We had had some came close to scoring in the openmg Graham, who fircd a hard slap shot. success against in the pre-season frame.m e Nixon,MetherelandJeff 'Tennant, heading to the net, scooped against Guelph," noted Crcssman. Fiorino effectivelyappliedpressurein up the rebound, smartly sidestepped "We knew we were competitivea~st Guelph's end with solid work along the fallen goalie and threw the puck them."He went on torecallagame on the boards. Mark Robson had aglotr- into the wide-open cage. \TJith thc October 31 where the Warriorswere ous opportunity on a breakaway to Warriorsholdinga shot advantage of leading 3-1 against Guelph, but then put the Warriors up 1-0 near the end 17-11over the Gryphons, the second had team captain Hopiav-ounand an of the period, but the Gryphon goal- period wound up 1-1. alternate captain injured during the keeper stymied hun. With431 ofthethirdperiodgone, course of thegame. Cressmanpointed In the second the Warriors werc Guelph convcrtcda2-on-l to take the to this as the start of their losing slide pressingwhena scramblebroke out in lead. as they eventually lost that game 4 3 . front of the Gryphon's netminder But the Warriors were determined ThevictorylastSundaywassweeter and a Waterloo shot hit the post. A to earn the victory. At 6:30 of the aftera stringofbounces that favoured short time later UW forward Richard period Matt Iannetta sent a high shot rival Laurier, resultmg in three of the Scottchargedinonabreakaway,buthe to~ardthenetandMikeNixcinsmaal~ opposition's goals in a 4-1 loss last was brought down from behind be- hitthepucktotheiceandrippedashot Fiiday. This unfavourable string of fore he could muster a shot. This on net that knotted the score at 2-2. bounces has been somethingthat has resulted ina memorable penalty shot Metherel scored on a rebound less worked against the UW team all seawhen Scott worked in on goal, re- than a m u t e later to put Waterloo son long, as the men would have had leasedawrist shotwhichthegoallegot ahead. Less than 60 secondsafter the victoryinanumberof carlicrcontests a piece of, but the puck continued to previous goal, a Metherel pass was had the bounces went their way. work its way towards the goal line. redirected by Iannetta to Scott who The Warriors host the Western Being stopped by a bit of snow near wired one, to scoreWaterloo's fourth Mustangs for their last game of the the inside of the goalpost, the puck goal at 8:09.Waterloo refused to have season Sunday at 2 p.m. at home. came to rest two-thirds of the way another late game meltdown despite Cressman intends to start goalie across the h e . After reviewing the some pressure from Guelph. One of LYWard because of his solid play and it position of the puck from above, the the most excitinggames ofthe season is his fdcareergame at UW. Willard officials signalled no goal. came to a closc with the Warriors was the male athlete of the week at "It could have been a downer for victorious,after being out shot 19-12 KJaterloothlspastweekandwas normus," commented Cressman on the in the third. nated for OUA athlete of the week penalty shot, especially since a few The Warriorwindeliveredacrushmoments later on the power play ing blow to the playoff aspirationsof


February 7 - February 12

Men's hockey

Men's basketball

Launer 4, Warnors 1 Guelph 2, Warriors 4

Guelph 63, Warriors 56 Warriors 54,Brock70

Women's hockey

Warnors 6, Brock3 Guelph 41, Warriors 53 Warriors 67,Brock71

Women's volleyball

Nordic skiing

Men's volleyball

OUA Championships

OUA Quarter-FinalPlayoffs: Warnors 3, York 0 (15-25), (23-25), (14-25)

Women 1. Laurentian 65 2. Warriors 87 3. Lakehead 106

Women's basketball

Febmay 15 Windsor at Warriors, 4 p m ,PAC Men's hockey

Women's basketball

Men 1. Carleton 68 2. Warriors 125 3. Queen's 137

bebmay 17 Warnors at McMaster, 7 p.m

End of season

Febmuy 16 Western at Warnors, 2 p.m., CIF Women's hockey

Febmay I5 Laurier at Warnors, 2 p.m., CTF Track and Field

Upcoming games

Fehrua~15 Warriors at University of

Men's basketball

bhchigan Invitational

Februay 15 Windsor at Warriors, 2 p.m., PAC


Kapanen-Brendl trade makes sense

TOP CORNER HOCKEY On February 7, the Philadelphia Flyers dealt away hot-shot prospect Pave1Brendl to the Caro1inaFIurncanesinexchang-efor formerallstar Sam Kapanen in a trade that makes sense for both organizations. The Hurricanes, the second-worst team this season, are looking to rebutld for the future while the Flyers are looking to load up for the playoffs. Although TSN commentator Darren Dutchyshenprematurelyproclamed that the 21 year oldBrendl never really ltvedup to the hype smcc bcingdraftcd fouah-overall in 1999, thc Humcanes didvery well to pry Brendl away from the Flyers for Ihpanen Despite having a slow start to his NHL career with only six career goals thus far, Brendl is a can't miss prospcct who is sure to develop into agoal-scoringmachine for years to come Brendl was an incredible junior sconng sensation with 207 goals m 218 career games


NFTl. but thcre is absolutely no reason to write hun off He worked hard to add bulk to his 204lb frame last off season and is unprovmg his all-around game. Keep in mmd that Brendl is only 21 years old and has only half a season of NHL expenence so far Brendl, who was a key part of the Eric Lindros trade two years ago, is a sure bet to develop mto a future offensive force m the NHL Meanwhile,Ihpanen is a 29 year old speedy wvmger who averaged around 25 goals and 60 points over the last five seasons but is badly m need of a change m scenery Kapancn fell into a scormg f d when he manage only one goal in' 23 playoff games last post-season and his futility continued with only suc goals this season However, Ihpanen is a hard-workcr who should break out of his slump with a fresh staa with the Flyers Overall, the Kapanen-Brendldeal involved two qualtty players at two different stagesin their careers and two teams heading in opposite dtrections -but it all sums up to a fair and logical trade

Men ousted from volleyball playoffs a t 8 3 0 a m , 1 2 3 0 p m , a n d 4 3 0 p m \Yaterloo and I auner's men's and women's teams have both qualified for these championship finals lhe men's draw will be made up of U\T', I,aurier,Toronto,Brock,Trentand\YindsorThe women's drawwdincludeU\\: ,lamer, Queen's, Toronto, Brock and\Ytstern Adam McGuire and Rod McLachlan IMPRINTSTAFF

Men's basketball suffers tough defeat

171eU\X'men's basketball tcam hostcd OUAwest &vision rival Guelph last Saturday q h t , as the 'ILe Waterloomen'svolleyball team had their Gryphons stole a victory from the Warriors by a playoffrun halted in the first roundlast Saturday scoreof63 56.TheKrarnorswere intoughapnst atYorkUmVersttyThe Warriors lost the matchm the Ckyphon5,whowereled by theii-All-Canah three straight sets (25 15,25 23,25-14) in OUA big man Michael Ayanbadqo, and both sides quarterfinalac~onversustheYorkYeomcnThe came out finng to b e p the first half Although the \XTarriorspost defence was undersized, their playoff loss was especiallyheartbreakmgafterthe men had recorded a 7-2 win-loss record in 2003 efforts to contam Ayanbadelo were stalwart and regular scason play This mas one of the most m V forced thc Gryphons' star into some tough significant turnaroundsm the nation, considering shots early on Ayanbadelo was able to earn 15 that the Warnor men had gone 2-7 in regular points and 9 reboundsby halftime,but a balanced season action pnor to Christmas U\Xramckdowedthe\Varnors to keep the score "With our backs agamst the wall forthe entire close Leadingthe\Tarnorsmfusthalfscormgwa5 secondhalfoftheseason,everygame feltbe itwas MichaelUavis,who hadiunepomts at the break. a playoff," wrote fourth year arts student and However, the openmgmmutes ofthe second Warriors nghtstde Chns Stemgart In reference to half proved to be the demse of the E'arriors last Saturday's loss, he wrote, "you ha\ e to count Ayanbadep and his G17iphons poured on the on somebody gettmg beat every t m c you stcp offence and Guelph began to stretch thew lead T ~K'arnors L recovered in the f i p o r t m n of the onto the court, you just don't want it to be you \Ye wcrc inconsistent, and York played at their second halfandwhatwas once a 16-pointGuclph best the enhre m e \T elost the firstgame and had lead had shrunk to a mere SLY point advantagein a chance to turn the tide of the match latc in thc the dying seconds However, it was a case of too httlc, too late and the Gryphons yecured a sevensecond game, but we lost focus and lost the point victory game " Leading the way for the victorious Guelph Thcloss toYorkunderscoredwhathadhlrned out to be aremarkable seasonanda great stretch squadwasAyanbade10,who hadamasswegame dnve to get mto the playoffs Heamasseda~-32pomts,wMead+16 rebounds and 4 blocks Spearheaddingthe WE OUA varsity curling nors attack in a losing cause was Davis, who championships come to K-W fitli~hedwithl2pomts~andMike Sorvan notched The Scott Tournament of IIearts this coming 10 points and 13 rebounds to go alongwith five weekend m IGtchener-Waterloois not the only assists, four blocks and three steals However, it major c u r k g event talungplacein\A'aterloo Re- was not enough for Ub' The\Ilrarnorscontinuedtheirwoefdwavs on Athletics~~arsi~r gion The Ontario Uill~rcrsity curlulgpro~~incial championshipsare being held \\ cdncsday, as thcy lost a tough road game to Brock, 70 51 The Warnors wLU conclude their at the K-K Granite Curling Club tonight and regular season tomorrow at home -st \\'ind tomorrow soratIpm This OUAchampionship eventisbeinghosted by WdfridLamer Universiq Draws tonight are at 8 30 a m and 1p m Tomorrow draws takc place Disappointing end for men's volleyball

Student Leadership Awards Every year, the Federation of Students recognizes 10 student leaders on the University of Waterloo Campus through the Federation of Students' Student Leadership Awards. Winners of the awards will have demonstrated exemplary leadership skills in various ways at the University of Watevloo, andlor as in the surrounding communities. Winners will be presented a cash prize and certificate at the Federation of Students1 Student Leadership Awards Banquet.


Nominations close Monda March 3, 2003 Nomination forms are avai in the Fed Office

cultures I Iohnpointed out that 'people will always look at me and ask me where I'm from It continuallycomes up, there is a constant duality, reference to previous cultures." The feature documentary Dirac Lme Me Forever was shown after thc Shurt Sl~ortJIt is an intriguing, humorous and a sometimes sad lookat a group of black drag queens living and worlung m Toronto The docu mentary follows SL\ drag queens Michelle Ross, Chris Edwards,Jackae Baker, StephanieStevens,MatuDinah and Duches5 (deceased) \\hen asked what a true diva is, Raker responded "a diva is someone that always gets their way She 1s the best of the best and has a sexappealthatwillmakeyou creaminyourpants "All of the people in this documentaq are strong not only are they African-Canadtansliving m a society that likes to pretend it is colour-blmd, they are gay and they dress up as women for aliving Thcre are many moments of humour and perserverance interspersed with the harsh reahty of the gay experience.

Dwax I ~ v Me e Forever succeeds m gihinga rare glimpse mto the sadness, loneliness and self-doubt that lurks beneath all of us, no mattter how resilientwe may seem Baker explamed with stunning clarity why it is not a consc~ouschotce to begay 'Youmght be bashed and killed, you will never have luds, you could die of AIDS, it can be a lonely life Who wants to go through that)" Dzvac Lme Me Fomt er and thc &scussionafterwardsrevealed the unique pcrspcctixre of the AfncanCanahan homosexual The Cmbbean, where most of the drag queens fea turcd in thc documentaryimmigrated from,is predominantlyChristianand notonous for being unacccptq of thegay community The panel discus sion also referred to the many in stances ofhomophohc lyrics in regqae and rap music Hohn pointed out the prevalence of machoism within the African Canadian community IiedznBbckCanadzanBhck Expen enrw onFzhwas a rare opportunity to get a glimpse into an under repre scntcd group in Canadian media.

and the sweet and o r i p a l U o & Stztch go head-to-head, but it's Spzrzted Anmy, the latest from mime ikdAn/ay, lepdHayaoMryazakt,which is the number one contender forthe hgpri7c Far bchtnd are the poorly reviewed Spzt:Stahon offhe Czmnmn and The Treasm Pbnet Leadmg the hopefuls in the best picture categuryare Chzcago and Gangs of Netv York Nominated for 13 Oscars, Chzcago is the first movic musical to cnsue such positive response from the members of the Academy in years No movie musical has won thc Best Picturc award since Ok~m!in 1968,butthe Academy members mght feel lust FFTRAN

nostalgic enough to give Chzrago the final push On the other hand, Gdrigs ofNoti Yorkis the type of epic that the academy has shown somuchlove for overthe years It's well-made, superbly acted and has the name Scorccseon it It also doesn't hurt that the big boys at Mlramaxareblowing their horns in support of the movie either. That leaves The Holm in the third place despite the Golden Globe win Nei ther the action/adventure Lord of the h g s : ?%e Two Tun~ersnor the holocaust drama The Pzunist seem to have enough power to rival the other three nominees, but stranger things have happened Nomatterwho the wmners mght be, the Academy Awards will undoubtedly be tension filled May the best people win

Canadianexperienceto the big scrccn b h d date, the person that the girl in -feellikeanunderachiever yet71Iohn the film has beenwaitmg for herwhole organized her first film festtval at Itfe, ends up beingher father-aman ~ she who barely recognizest h woman ' m e r e are you from?" If you are Conrad Grebel College in 1999 white, chancesare you have rarely or Through collaborationwithKTIRG, has bccome D e ~ t q1s a black and white film U\X students and volunteers she never beenasked this question.If you founded Iced zn Black The festival about a teenagedgirlwith big dreams happen to be African-Canadan, you of becoming an actress It seamlessly now features over 21 films and is ha%-eprobably been asked this ques m e s humour withagrounding sense tton so many times you lost count a being heldin'Ioronto, Ottawa,Mon long, long time ago. The perspective txeal, Halifax and Watcdoo o\ er the of reality Dcstiny lives with her strict of African-Canadans is grossly un- month of February, which is Black grandma, MissMay,whohas a strong island accent and \cry narrow ideas der-represented in Canadian media. History Month about the tvpe of women who be I had the opportunity to attend the The film festival Iced in Black: is an come actresses In a hilarious dream Saturdaynight screenings of the festi opportunity to see an honest porscene, Miss Ma\ reminds Destiny, trayal of the often misrepresented la1 which included Short Shorts, m e short films shown back to back, and "Don't talkto nff-raffboys, not even Afncan-Canadianculture The thlrd annual film festival l~edzn the feature-lengthdocumentawD z L * ~ :to give them directions Make sure The theme for this 1 ourdressesare hemmed to keep you Black: Canadzmi Hla& k~penenre~ on Lo~vMe Fore~~er from becoming the slut you are so F ~ h w aheld s at UW &\past weekend year's Led zn Blark film fcstival was "soul on ice acclebration oftht arts " bent on becommg,and don't eat fruit from February 6 to 9 The short films ranged from a on the street because flies will follow The film festival has its roots at UW The founder, national director, documentaryabout modernistpainter you " Though De~ftryis onl) 20 min Roland Jean to a spoken word piece Utes long, in that short time the young and program coordinator Nadia L Hohn was a UW' student at Conrad about the "style" ofapoet's soul Rbnd womanresonateswith the self doubt Date, clocking in at lust under seven thatweall feelattimes,yet shemanges Grebel from 1998 to 2002 Hohn to retain a sense of dignity and hope earned her honours arts degree from minutes, stoodout as one of the more As a visible minority, African-CaUW while also developinga national hw-wrenchmgpieces. The short f i has a melancholic atmosphere. The n a h s can't erase their ttes with other film festival that brings the African Melissa Dunne


Oscar: waiting for the big night Continued from cover

The supporttng actor nommees are another bunchwho can bc equally hopeful All John C Riley (Chzcago) needs to celebrate an mpressive year (he actsm three of this year's five best picturc nominees) is an Oscar and h s bitter-sweetMr Cellophanemightlust earn him that. As deserving of the awardasJohn(: Rdey are Christopher Waken for his heartbreakingportrayal of Frank Abagnale Sr in Catch Me If You Canand everyone's favounteblueeyed lead man, Paul Newman, as a prohibition-era crime boss in last summer'sRoadtolJertfm That leaves the talentedEdHarns (TheHours) and Chns Cooper (Adaptatzon), both of whom have enough power to upset

Riley, Waken and Newman come Oscar right Julianne Moore returns for a sec ond nomination in the Supportmg actress category for The Hornr~,while the ladies of Chzcago, Cathenne Zeta-Jonesand Queen Latifah have both managed to dance their way to the hearts of the Academy members to garner nomina tions But it mght not be all about songs and dances, since Kathy Bates is considered the fore-runner of this group for her darkly funny opposite of Jack role ovvosite Tack Nicholson inAbozltSchmzdi Meryl Streep (Adaptafton) (Adaptafzon) rounds up the bunch with her 13 th Oscar nod

Thc ncwly-developed best ammated feature category sees the hys-



Author's love for self obvious in novel The world where authors rule Et Tu, Babe by Mark Leyner HarmonyBooks


Sol nu have this author,iUarkLeyner, who writes this book, Ef TM,Babe, about this author, Mark I.eyner, who runs a corporation that churns out the mostpopularpiecesofpop-cultureLcyiier'snovels. Ispcrhiinselfisdynamic, hyperlunchcandobsessi~-e.f Ie has his internal organs tattooed with radioactive isotopes so that nurses swoonoverhtsX-rays.He hasgcnatric womeilgeneticallyengineeredinto the super-human lulliilg machines that arehisbodyprds.'l'lusishhrklayner

as wriften by Mark Leyner in Ef Tz, Hai~e.What do vou do with such madms5, suchmess?Youpraise the man and read the book, allomingvourself towallon it1 the self indulgentilature of a a\ art Leyner fills a strange niche in the literary world one he helped to dynamite out of the sensible foundations of literaryart himself.Amaster ofparody,T.eyiicrresides high atop a pile of social detritus through which he rummages, loolung for items to mock or that mock the rest ofus just by existing. InEfTu, BabeLeynerseems to be mochgaven~personalfacet of snci- * ety:the roleoftheauthbr.Historically, people have looked towriters ofprose and poetry to codify life, to clarify it, -

generally to tell people why t h q s happen (not the science of why, but more accurately, the epistemologyof why) Leyncrplays with that role He seems to ash the question, if authors are so retered, why aren't they more popular2 His parodic reply is to create a worldmw hich he is the ultimate pop culture authority Children want to growup to be just like him,Victona's Secret models fantawe about him, an entire corporation rises (and falls) on the mcnt of his popularity 1hat is the essence of the parodj I.eyner creates He understands that the most world-famous authors aie often just faceless creators Leynerattacks this paradigm and pushes the boundaries of pop-culture in every direction \Y'heil Leyner becomes popular as an author, the boundaries of pop culture become as lmitless a5 his twisted imagination Tattooing be

ich even the most "hard-core" nu-punk would never partake. The ubiquitous ' bodyguards who protect the "artist" from

Even sex, the most commodified and advertised aspectofpop culture is, parodied. Of course, to parody sex in apop-culture setting, you carinotpossibly add mon sex to the equation. It must be removed. CertainlyLcyneris a sex symbol in the novel, but he hardly indulges in the perks therein. Not only does Leyner push the boundaries of the popular within m the novel, he pushes the boundaries of the medium itself.The prologue is a letter to the publisher that promises hf '1id, Habewillbe the most entertaining book ever published by Vintage Hooks. Tiicludcd in the prologue are excerpts from fi/ EL,Bahe which are indeed hilarious. The funny thing about these excerpts is they do not appear anywhere else in the text that follows the prologue This begs thc question, is the letter to the publisher part of the tiox~l?If the answer is yes, then the escerpts are indeed part of the most entertaining book published by Vintage. If the answer is no, then Leyner is a liar and the validity of everything else said in the novel can be called into question. \TTithall of this parody pilingupon

p a r t ~ c r e a ~ u i r o iandhy~er-irmy, ly it can be hard to discern a plot. That is not to say there is no motion in the n o ~ e lIn . fact, there isalmostat~excess ofmotion, especiallythe hyper-hetic, violent kind of emotion. As for traditional plot movement (foreplay, intercourse, clima.~,sleep) 1,eynerparodies that too. The n o d reads like a 168-page self-sustained climax, perhaps with a little S&M and maybe a dash of auto-asphyxiation just for e what Mark fun. \\i'hy? ~ e c a u s that's Tqner would want. The question that must be answered is, does it work? Should you read this novel, or is it awaste of time? 'l'he answer, of course, is that you should read this novel, especially if you think the current politicalclimate is too hot, too serious for there to be any room left for fun. E/ TII.Bahe is beautifully funny, confusing and weird. There is an aspect of social commentaiy-;n the novel, but the message m to lighten up. Leyner uses E t Tu, Aabeto spitmthe collective face of pop culture, but like the spittle of Jesus that cured the blind in the Bible, Ixyner'sliterary loogie opens oureyes.


The definition of punk

S t e p h e n C o l c p e andChris Sullivan give the followmg defim tions of the word 'punk' P7utk: n 1 A youth movement of the late-'70s characterized by anti estabhshment slogans and outrageous clothes and hairstyle5 2 An inferior, rotten or worthless person or thing 3 Worthless articlescollectmely 4 Short for punk rock As they go on to state that, m the late-'70s, punk was more than loud m s i c and I -shirt slogans Bemg talented had little meamg, it was all about the attitude So despite the evolution of the word, n o t h g has reallv changed I don't clam to be some sort of punk gum, but I do knou it when I see it And it's probably not what you think it IS In the beginning there was The Sex Pistols A bunch of angry Bnts who could barely keep themselves

av, a7 from the sex and the drugs Inns etiough to record an album Kowdl, disobedient and certamh not talcntcd, thcy have Lgaiiicd almost m) thic status And they rocked rhey had so much attitude that no one cared about talent You can't think of The Seu Pistols and not m e d i a t e l y thmk of classic punk rock I Iowever,there are many classic bands that were considered punk, but no longer fit our current definition Music of The Clash, for mstance, now seems tame in comparison to what we've been exposed to No one can deny their talent (listen to London Cakng, then we'll chat) but were they really punk rockers? Remember that these bands emerged from an era of disco queens and long haired hippies The damn the man music of the decade went agamst the mold and wasn't afmd of being different Punk was hardcore, tough, real and all about anarchy That being said, let's lookat what many perceive to be modem punk and compare it to this attitude Sum 412 Blmk 1822A v n l Lavlgne2 These, my ftrends, are examples of what some like to call bubblegum punk It's punk music

pachged, freeze-dried,sodium enhanced and mislabeled lust because you ride a skateboGd, buy tics off Hot roptc, haw piercings and spell it "rawk" doesn't make you a member of a counter culture movement \Y ow, cuffs and spiked hair, how untrendy I'm sorry to tell you httle boys, but your skater cdture is ripping off decades of history Not that there's somethmg inherently wrong with liking mmstream skate punk, as long as you recogni~eit for what it truly is candy floss "Real" punk music still exists, but you won't fmd it playing at Conestoga Mall or on WalMart ads There are lots of punk shows In the tri-city area just begging to be filled up by posers like us. Sk8ter boi! Turn off MuchMusic,immerse yourself m the alternative scene and tone down your ever growmg array of flesh mutilating silver append' ages. It's about the attitude, remember? Still not convmced?Let's make one final comparison: skater kids flip the bird on national television Sid Vicious died of a herom overdose after allegedly stabbing his girlfriend in the chest with a kmfe Now that's punk

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UW.drama scores with MacIvo9 MaclvorZ Hagey Hall February5-8.12-15.2003


Apparently, lettuce is high in folate, phosphorus,potassium andvitainins A and C. I had no idea. Honestlv, , . it hadneverevenoccured tome towonder before. But then, Macho?, the second production in UW Drama's 2002/2003 season, is about pondering thc things youwouldn't normally ponder at the theatre -what you're watchingandwhy you're watchingit. MacIvo? is a production of two one-act plays by Cmadianplaywright Daniel Machor, This ir a PlaJi and I-ionse. Both plays offer unique challenges and the cast and crew of MacIvot'were obviouslyup to them. 7%kis a PLq, directed by Jeremy 'l'aylor, follows the thoughts of three actorsas theyworktheirwaythrough an imaginary play called Strangen Among Us.The charactersswitchback and forth betweenpmgtheir 'Zncs" and describmgwhat is goingthrough their hcads while they perform. Older female actor/Auntie is played by Erika Scdge, who does a great job of portraying an older but "sdbeautifu~actressperpetua.llyannoyed by her co-stars. Sedge is very believable, while reminding us that

we're not supposed to believe; after all, shc reminds us, she isn't really going offstage to hide so that she can watch Sissy and Joey, she's going for a smoke. RachelMolnarasfernaleactor/Sksy also does a good job with the duality of the play and is particularlygood at delweringlmesandperformingmovements that are completely contradictory. In one particularlyeffectivemoment, she smdes adoringly at male actor/Jocy (Matt Horch) and tells the audience that she is fighting a gag reflex. Rorch's portrayal of the misstepping and De Niro-obsessed maleactor/Joey is extremely funny as male actor misses lines, stands in the wrong place and gets confused by some soup. Borch's timing is great andhis subtlcphysicalhumour isvery entertaining. In Home, directed by EtlkaSedge, a man named Victor u o h n E. Robertson) animatedlytellsa series of anecdotesthat offer insight into his,as he puts it, "fucked up" personality. If I had to pick a highlight of the night, it would be Robertson's portrayal of Victor.As theonlycharacter,Robertson has the stage to himself for 15 mFnUtes. It's not easy to keep an audience engaged for that long all by yourself, but Robcrtson docs it. IIe plays a believably neurotic character, right down to the awkwardpausesas Victor

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Guidelines and application forms: (under Scholarships) Open t o all disciplines of study, the goal of the fellowships is to build a cadre of young Canadians who can play a leading role in today's knowledge-based global economy and thus contribute to the prosperity of Canada and to society worldwide. Interested candidates must hold at least one university degree, show outstanding academic performance as well as personal suitabdity and prcsent a clear study plan or a combination of study and rcsearch or work at an institution abroad. Fellowships are sponsored by J. Armand Bombardier Foundation, private foundation created in 1965 t o perpetuate the memory 3f the life, achievements, and social and humanitarian work of [oseph Armand Bombardier. The program is managed. by the Canadian Bureau for International Education (CBIE).


For furthcr information, please contact: J. Armand Bombardier Internationalist Fellowships Canadian Bureau for International Education 220 Laurier Avenue West, Suite 1100 Ottawa, Ontario K1P 5 2 9 Tel: (613) 237-4820, ext. 234 Fax: (613) 237-1073 . : L b E-mail:

Joey (Borch)wonderswhat De Niro would do. tnes to think of the next story to tell, but hc doesn't let you lose yourself in the illusion, often addressmg the audience, even leaving the stage towan der about the house Mach or2 is a production that points out the dlusionsthat audiences and people m general subject themselvesto,andat the same time is really funny It runs Fcbruanr 5 to 8 and 12 to 15 in IIagey Iiall Studio 180

Unity in the pit

A good friend of m e once asked, m e r e I am, an ordinary nerdy kid, wearing simple cords and a 1-shrt, moshmg and sk&g around a pit with a bunch of punks \T%y am I not getting my ass kicked?" \%Me eight-inch mohawks, scuffed combat boots and layered arrays of chains and spikes may seem mtmudattng to your average citizen on the street, anyone who has been to a punk rock show knows thc fccling of unity prevails abox e all \K hether jumping around on stage, knocking heads in the pa, or simply standing around outside the club with your new found acquamtmces, there is nothing so exhilaratingand unifying than going to a local punk rock show The humatuty of a punk rock pit has always amazed me 1 Iere you have a bunch of kids smashing around, elbows and fists flying, while a band pounds out mustc only a few feet away Punks, metalheads, locks, geehs, grrls, guys -individuality is set aside when you lump headfirst into that mass of bodies Only the music matters And there m always the knowledge that if you fall, 10 people you've never met in your life will be there to help you up I remember my first punk show As a small teen in the pit it was tnex itable that eventually 1was

going to go down As it happened, sooner rather than later I was on my back on the floor, panicking,waiting to be trampled T o my amazement, when I loobed up 1 found five or six guys had formed a blockade around me The guy who had knocked me down helped me up, brushed off my back and then turned without a word and jumped back into the pit I stood there for a second, mesmerized At that moment the o-emhelming decency of the punk sccnc h t mc and changed m j outlook fore-er Prom that day forward the passion, kindness and power of the youth ha\ e gi- en me tremendous hope for the future This situation has occurred in many different forms and m many different locations 01er the years It truly becomes a part of jou, the wilhgness to risk a punch or an elbow for the sake of helping a total stranger It still makcs mc smile m reminiscence, seeing the look on a young kid's face when you drag him off the floor while the band plays on It's bound to come, sooncr or later, the fateful day when the spikes come off, the piercmgs come out and the combat boots are put aside Maybe 1'11 end up a lawyer, a w nter, a teacher or a politician For now these decisions seem far off, but one thing is certain t h mcmoncs ~ of the fun times, the great luds and the unity of the sccne wtll ncvcr fade I'll always h o w that no matter what, if we all stick together, there is nothing that we can't change Sham bell host^ 'Tfrazt ont ~ f h Pif" e el e v 1hursday mornzngJrom 10 am fo noon at (KM 1 100 3 FM, 93 ion ialh ot lz~fenon the Web n atsen 1 uwater/ - ~ h s ~ n f o /

Counselors: Combined childcarelteaching. Must be able to teach or lead one or more of the following activities:gymnastics, tennis, swim, sail, canoe, water ski, arts (includingstainedglass, sewing, jewelry, wood, photo), dance, music,theatre, archery, wilderness trips,field sports, equestrian. Service Workers: including openings for kitchen, laundry, housekeeping, secretaries, maintenance & grounds, and kitchen supervisor. Non-smokers. June 18 to August 23. Attractive salary (US) plus travel allowance. To Apply: Applications and photo gallery are available on our website: I ~ i ~ ~ e Box w a 340, . Westwood. Massachusetts, 02ogo-0340, U.S.A. tel: 781-762-8291 1 fax: 781-255-7167


10. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers $3,516,739 9. Darkness Falls $3,820,366 8. Biker Boyz $4,233,485 7. Kangaroo Jack $6,105,250 6. Deliver us from Eva $6,648,374 5. Final Destination $8,389,650 4. The Recruit $9,226,419 3. Chicago $10,786,533 2. Shanghai Knights $19,603,630 1. How to Loose a Guy in 10 Days $23,774,850

* Top grossing movies in the theatres this past weekend according to

IRI~PX,I~F.BKU.\KY 14,2003

page 27

VOLUNTEERING Volunteers needed for a documentary film production team. Help to fundraise and contribute to a great project with a group of fun and motivated people. Contact Kari at 747-8145 or Volunteer to visit an individual with Alzheimer's Disease. Matches made based on interest. Training provided. One to four hoursiweek. Call Jill at the Alzheimer Society 7 4 2 - 1 4 2 2 or e-mail The Volunteer Action Centre (742-8610, is recruiting volunteers for the following events: COMMUNITY JUSTICE INITIATNES is offering training. #I 01 7-1 1199: Providing Alternative Choices prepares volunteers to support federally sentenced women prelpost release as they re-integrate into the communityfromprison. Information Session will be held on March 1 2 from 6 to 8 p.m. Training is Wednesday nights. HELP PROVIDE SUPPORT, I'UBLIC EDUCATION AND AWARENESS. #1094: The Head Injury Association Waterloo Wellington is looking for volunteers for a variety of positions. This is a wonderful opportunity for working with people with disabilities. JOIN A CIRCLE OF FRIENDS AT THE YWCA. # 1125-13095. Female volunteers are wanted to befriend women facing life challenges. Volunteer might provide support and assistancc by meeting for coffee, helping with meal planning and budgcting, or in a variety of capacities. SPEAK WITH OTHERS ABOUT A WORTHY EVENT. #1009-13200: The Canadian Cancer Socicty is looking for adults to assist in presentations promoting our Rclay For Life which will take place on June 13 and 14. Volunteers necdcd for daytime in March and Aprll. Training is provided. HEY! BULLIES ARE N O T COOL! #1074-32121 11113: We have a education -focused position and a Customer Service volunteer position for you. Time commitments vary.

Wednesday, February 5. Let's get the ball rolling now! Online application; e-mail; 1-888-549-2963 (516) 883-3067. Camp Wayne, 5 5 Channel Drive, Port Washington NY 11050.

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Centre for Contact Lens Research School of Optometry University of Waterloo

PARTICIPANTS REQUIRED FOR CONTACT LENS RESEARCH The Centre for Contact Lens Research is currently :onducting a study to investigate the effects of Corneal 3efractive Therapy (CRT). CRT is the use of rigid gas )ermeable lenses to correct nearsightedness but, are vorn overnight only. During the day, no lenses will be worn md your vision without lenses or glasses will be measured.

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Highly qualified graduates will help. Toll free: 1888-345-8295. Need storage in Waterloo - indoor sizes $29.95 $39.95 $44.95. Call Harry at K-W Safe Storage 570-0985, 136 Moore Ave. S. Waterloo. Applicants wanted to study Part IV of The Urantia Book. Earn $25,000. For details visit Like working with kids and teens? Plan to go to teachers college? Need a summer job? City of Watcrloo Camp employment opportunities. May to August. Kate of pay $8.25-S10.2Sihour. Camp applications available at Career Services or

www.waterloo.on.cdCS/HR. Camp Wayne for Girls - Northeast Pennsylvania (6119 to 8/16/03). If you love children and want a caring, fun environment we need female staff as Directors and Instructors for: Tennis, Golf, G y n nastics, Swimming, Waterskiing, Sailing, Team Sports, Cheerleading, Ropes, CampingiNature, Drama, Ceramics, Photography, V~deography, Silkscreen, Batik, Printmaking, Sculpture, Calligraphy, Guitar, Jewelry, Piano, Aerobics, Martial Arts, Baking. Other posirions: Group Leaders, AdministrativeiDriver, Nurses (RNs). Interviews to be arranged for March 22nd. Apply .. . online at w.campwaynegirls.comor call 1-800-279-3019. Full-time and part-time cooking and dishwashing positions availablc to begin immediately. We arc offering daytime, cvening and nighttime positions to conform to most school schedules. To apply for a fun, team spirited, and well-paying job at Mei's Diner, just call Jerry at 519-574-1853 or apply in person to: Mel's Diner, 7-140 University Ave. W. in the Campus Court Plaza. TRAVEL 81 TEACH ENGLISH: Jobs, $$ guaranteed. TESOI. certified in five days. Attend a free information seminar. Free infopack: 1-888-2702941 or Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for ind~vidualswith developmental challenges. Experience, minimum cight-n~onthcommittncnt. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Mader, K-W Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchcncr, ON, N2G 3V2. Campus interviews - summer of your life - Camp Wayne, NE PA. Counselor-Specids all Landmatrr Sports Inc. Tennis; golf; soccer; outdoor adventure: camping, mountain biking, ~limbingiro~es; roller hockry; rocketry; fine arts; theatre; radio; video; CDL drivers; wait staff and more. RNs for our Health Centre. Job Fair interviews, Rim Park,


UPCOMING SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 1 5 Waterloo Park, starting at Seagram St. entrance WALK FOR PEACE. A citizens' protest to share their concerns abont the situation in Iraq. Info: 8 8 5 7 6 1 9 or Coleman & Lemieux at 8:00 p.m. in The Church Theatre, 1376 King Street North, St. Jacobs. To order tickets call 519-664-1134. MONDAY, FEBRUARY 18 Guelph Support Group - to discuss "Transportation" & Epilepsy Ambassador information. 7:00 to 8:30 p.m. at Youth Resource Centre, Stone Road Mall. Open to all who are affected by epilepsy. Please RSW to Melissa at 745-2112.

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Please contact the Centre for Contact Lens Research Opt. Rm 352 Ext. 4539 or 888-4567 ext. 4539 Email: lvoss @ --

This study has been reviewed and received ethics clearance through the office of Research Ethics. Universitv of Waterloo. File #10468.


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Frlday at 11.20pm and Saturday ll:15pm,n27_Imprint,n27_Imprint.pdf

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