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Volume

2, No.

2

THE

UNIVERSITY

OF WATERLOO

&

WATERLOO

UNIVERSITY

COLLEGE,

WATERLOO,

October

ONT.

30,

1959

NOV. 4 - ew Last week, on Thursday, Oct. 15, the University of Waterloo Students’ Council held its first meeting of the current year. Attending this meeting were students representing the University of Waterloo Engineering Faculty, the University of Waterloo Science Faculty, the Faculty of Arts at Waterloo University College, and St. Jerome’s College. As president of the new Students’ Council, I was instructed to proceed with this meeting on the basis of our proposed constitution. This constitution was drawn up last year by a committee appointThe ed by the administration. origin of the conflict which lead to this move, was at the S. L. E. meeting in the second week of January of this year. At that time the representatives for the Engineers requested a grant of $l,OOO.OO for equipment and operating expenses for the next six months. It was mentioned by the President of S.L.E. that funds could not be given to a body whose constitution had not been ratified by S.L.E. The discussion was then terminated.,. _. At the next meeting a new S.L.E. constitution was proposed. At the same meeting the Engineering representatives stated that they wanted their own governing body with control of their own activities and finances. At the same meeting it was decided that S.L.E. would continue to function until such time as a constitution might be drawn up for the University of Waterloo.

onstitution for PARKING . STUDENT

If the growing cor?trovel-s>z::ti ,he friction between ,\r:s ar.ci sngineering students, the aZr.:ir.stration stepped in and l-xc a committee of three ,1r:s stsdertts. ;hree Engineering studer.ts. sr.C ;he Deans of the Faculties of -1~:s. Engineering, and Science. come Logether to draw up a constit.-i;tio~ Eor the University of Kater1c.z~. I’his was accomplished and it 1s 3n the basis of this propcsed constitution for the University of Waterloo that we are now opersting.

and less out-of-the1-o.; are probab:an-are by no\{ the college :kst stucter-Lts’ cars are prohibited n-a)-? BJ- the line of cars on with the r311 ibe reserl-ed parking lots by Dearborn St., gambling police department, it appears you II-i:i:son Ha!1 and the -tits Build;.Par5r.g on all adjacent do. If so, are you willing to pay -*->’5 -;L-ee:s is limited to one hour, for it? Dr. Axford has stated that the Ir.-ith the exception of Dearborn Administration is willing to prewhere the limit 13 I- three hours. So far, due to the sufferance of pare and gravel the road allowSt., (the exten(Zhief Lloyd Otto and his boys, ance off Bricker Street) .just east here ha\-e been fe\\- tickets. This sion of Clayfield of the playing field, if enough situation may not continue. Free parkin g ~-ill not be pro- students are interested in paying part of the cost by means of a rided for students on the college yearly parking fee for parking lampus. The onl>- student parking of fifteen or ot is b>- Seagram Stadium. Do on it. A minimum students must indicate ,-ou want a lot that is closer to tn-enty

On Wednesday Iiov. 4 this constitution will be presented to you the students of the proposed University of Waterloo for ratification. I realize that we are “jumpthose ing the gun”, but perhaps at the higher levels will follow our example and the dream of a University of Waterloo will be fulfilled. There will be copies of the constitution placed in the libraries and common rooms. Please take one, read it, and then put it back for someone else, It is quite simple and straight forward, but if you have any questions I’m sure the following people will be glad to answer them for you. Jack Buchanan-Pres. U.W.S.C. Pablo Machetzki-Pres. Arts Council Jack Kruuv-ex-Pres. Engineering Society These people were on the comOn Friday, Oct. 23, a very sue- I Gary Morton, the football team mittee which was responsible for lessful Torch parade was held on was introduced and well cheered. the drawing up of the proposed j( ii :he back campus behind Willison i Mr. O.A.C. was burnt in effigy. of Waterloo Students’ University 1Hall. At the next meeting there were Council Constitution. As this was going on, a mysterno Engineering representatives You may find some minor dethe I ious figure appeared on the roof Although it was raining, present. At the meeting of Feb fects enthusiasm wasn’t dampenedin ’ of Willison Hall. There was much and faults, but remember 2&h, 1959 the Engineering Society that these can be amended. It is the least. The parade was led by screaming and wonderment about was granted its Student fees lesz the basic governing principle that the lovely girls from Conrad Hall, this white-faced thing and a the N.F.C.U.S. fees. charge was led to Willison Hall, should concern you. On Novemcarrying their banner and followThe aforementioned is whal ber 4 . . . vote ! ed by Bill Powell leading the but the figure had disappeared. . . Jack Buchanan, Pres. Waterloo learn about this transpired at the S.L.E. meeting: Mule. Then came the All we could Engineers, with the football team figure was that it was Aunt Milly who comes back every year to and the cheerleaders following. find her lover in Willison Hall. With voices well tuned for college After this excitement, the rally singing, and drums madly beating, up and the students adthis happy throng moved over to broke journed to the dance in Willison Last year the proposed Univerare the ratified chairmen of the Conrad Hall where they picked Hall. sity of Waterloo Students’ Council student organizations represented up their torches and gaily marchConstitution was drawn up by a on U.W.S.C. and the executive of ed on to the back field. On Saturday evening a dance committee of Engineering and the Students’ Council. Once on the field, the Waterloowas held at Seagram Gym, bringArts students. This proposed ans really showed their stuff. Led Finances will be organized on a ing to a close the “Homecoming University of Waterloo Students’ cheerleaders and Weekend” activities, The dance, per capita basis with each or- by the pretty Council is to be concerned with ganization receiving its funds the student body as a wholefrom U.W.S.C. This excludes the that is the students in the Faculty Board of Publications and the of Engineering at the University Directorate, both of of Waterloo, the students in the Athletic whom have their own student Faculty of Science at the UniverResolution 58/NA/30 of the last carry lines of haberdashery, shoes, fees. Those organizations belongNFCUS Congress requested the etc. The discount sity of Waterloo, the students in applies to any ing to the Undergraduate Society the Faculty of Arts at Waterloo National Secretariat to m a k e item in the store. It does not for their own every possible University College, and the stu- are responsible effort to establish apply to independent retailers funds except in the cases of spe- a Student Discount Service on a dents at St. Jerome’s College. that may sell Tip Top merchan2ial grants resulting from a peU.W.S.C. as the University Counnational level. Carleton and Ot- dise. Your NFCUS identification cil will come to be known is to tition to U.W.S.C. tawa Universities were to assist card will be received at any of deal with all matters concerning The remainder of the constituin this project. these stores. more than one faculty. Questions tion is available in the libraries We are pleased to inform you It must be pointed out that the involving one Faculty will be and common rooms for your readthat arrangements are being con10% discount will not apply durdealt with by that Faculty Couning. Then on Wednesday Nov. 4 cluded with Tip Top Tailors Limsales. cil. All councils, societies, clubs, vote. This is important because ited to introduce a national stu- ing special clearance etc. are ultimately responsible to this is your student government dent discount plan. The interest shown by Tip Top U.W.S.C. so get out and give it your supTip Top Tailors will offer a Tailors in introducing this plan is The members of the U.W.S.C. port. This is the only way thai 10% discount to all our members. most welcome. To those areas are divided into two categories:it will be able to function, for This will be applicable to merchwhere local discounts exist this (i) voting-these are the elected without its student body supporl andise ordered at any of their should be a welcome addition. representatives from each Faculty it will possess no life. Get oui Company-owned stores. It should To those where none exist this Council. (ii) non-voting - these and VOTE! be noted that many of these stores should indeed be extremely use-

Proposed NewConstitution

-

N.F.C.U.S.

their willingness to pay a fee of $15 or $20 before any action will be taken. If more students are interested the fee will be lower. But you must act NOW. , If you want this kind of parking contact Norman Radway or Jim Bechtel immediately, in person or through the mailboxes in the lower corridor, or sign the list on the downstairs bulletin board. Please indicate the maximum fee you would be willing to pay ($115 or must be done by $20) - This Thursday, November 5. Don’t sit around complaining about the parking situation; Act !

featuring the music of “The Four Gentleman”, was produced by Willison Hall. At intermission Jim Neeb welcomed the alumni and thanked all the people who made this Homecoming the biggest and best yet. A presentation was made to the Engineers for the best float in the parade. The Social Committee of Willison Hall led the gathering in a sing-song. ’ The success of’the dance, however, was marred by the thoughtlessness of a few individuals who caused considerable damage to the locker room. Students do not like police present at their dances. However it looks as if it can’t be helped. As usual, it is a case of the majority suffering for the stupidity of a few.

Bulletin ful. Above all there is no geographic restriction. Your NFCUS card will be honoured at any of the Company-owned stores anywhere in Canada. To insure the success of this plan we must insure that the student body is aware of it. You have asked through the National Congress for this S,tudent Discount Service. Now that it is a reality, you must put it into practice. You will be notified shortly as to the date this will be effective. In the meantime here is something positive to greet the students with when classes resume.


Page

/

Two

October

*

The University of Waterloo and the Waterloo University College have realized a tangible element of unity. Throughout the short period of three weeks there has been an exciting, prevailing wind of co-operation heretofore never experienced / by the student body. It is gratifying to see Engineering, Science and Arts students working together with a common cause; the progress of the student body as a whole. The “united front” has laid its foundation in co-operative publications, subdued but energetic students’ council meetings and the homecoming parade and dance; both charged with mutual effort and a spirit of comradeship. Such a firm foundation is deserving of a thoughtfully planned, carefully constructed edifice. The student body has risen above much, if not all, of the previous conflicts which served as a wall to separate our faculties. Qur task now is to plot a course for the complete utilization of the dynamics which are a by-product of our unique position. Within the next we&k the proposed constitution of the University of Waterloo Students’ Council will tippear for the consideration of the students. The constitution appears in summary form in this issue of the paper. It is requested that the students read with discernment the articles regarding the You will find a list of names in the proposed organization. article written by our Students’ Council President. If you have any questions regarding the proposed organization coritact these people. Of greater importance is your individual responsibility , to exercise your democratic privilege of voting “yes” or “no” 1[ WAS A on this constitution. 1FOR THE The results of this vote concern YOU! Know the impliFive old cations and . . . THINK! i ng room -

Published by the Undergraduate students of the University of Waterloo andI Waterloo University College, at the Board of Publications, Room 105, Willisor 1 Phone 4-8741. The opinions expressed are Hall, Waterloo University College. those of the editorial and publication staff, and are not official opinions of the Students’ Council, or the Administration, unless otherwise stated. Editor - HARRY BREWER Managing Editor: MIKE WHITEHEAD Sports Editor: GLEN LUDWIG Sports Columnist: MERRYLL GRAHAM Business Manager : TOlM FREURE Advertising Mgr. : ROlN BERENBAUM Women’s Editor: DALE PERRIN Cartoonist: BILL POWELL sngineering Editor: GARY LAMBERT Typists: VIRGINIA LEON, CAROLYN JOHNSON, AUSMA TEIGASTS, MARIE SCHMIDT. Contributing Staff: HANS HELDRING, BETTY LYNNE BOYLE, JUDY CHAMBERLAIN, DONNA KELLY, RON CHURCH, BOB ENNS, BILL STAUFFER, MIKE PENFOLD, RON BERENBAUM, MIKE WHITEHEAD, RONALD WOODS.

This year a strong new club has formed on campus with the objective of encouraging amateur operators, better shortwave known as “Han&‘. The president of the club is Eric Manning, who was president of a Ham Club at the University of Western Ontario last year. Mr. Manning stated that the club is more than a help to its members for it can perform public services. For instance, at Western, a free message service was operated. This meant that any student could have a message of not more than’ fifty words, sent to another person at any university in Canada or the U.S.A. and receive an answer. This service is free and it is possible that a similar service could be used here. The club will start with a code transmitter, but as soon as a sufficient grant can be obtained, it will switch to phone transmitting. The “shack” or room which fhe equipment is kept, is not at the moment permanent, but it is hoped that a room on the top floor of the Physics Building will be allotted so that aerials can be situated on the roof. Anyone interested in the work that this club will be doing is invited to contact the president of the club by phone or in person,

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The Psychology Club is one of ;he newest organizations on campus. Our society endeavours ;o present a well-balanced social program of interesting films, balks, and short panel discussions. l?his year our club is hoping to ;ake a field trip to our brother club at Western. It is anticipated that this, society should interest all students in general and those in particular who are contemplating a career in law, business, or social work.

.

STQQGE

ADMINISTRATION flunkies sat in the dinlast Tuesday commenti ng on rising prices. As I listened, 1[ was tempted to tell them that prices ‘were due to the 1-ising service now oper-finger printing patty tray :Tting from the butter iand empty glass rack. But then my mission in col1[ remembered 1lege; I am a stooge for the ad1ministration. I talk to myself; I walk by my;elf cautious of every move I make. For if any of my comrade colleagues were to find me out, [ would be liquidated immediately. When someone drops a ‘Mickey” during quiet hours in Willison Hall, it is my duty to report him to the administration. From my lookout on top of the Wagpole, I register the name of every girl who returns to the residence after sunset. In the classroom I listen to the professor who speaks out against the administration, or makes d\erogatory remarks against school policy. A very ingenious system is used to convey my messages to the administration. As I finish each meal, the message is recorded by wiping my greasy, greasy fingers 3n a napkin. The decoding expert for the administration has been given a job as a dishwasher, and it is he who retrieves the napkins and translates the information for the proper authorities. Out West last year I was a student at a certain university, and after a lengthy investigation, gave proof to the administration, (in the form of a letter), that the professor concerned was not being completely faithful to his board of governors. But I must go now to make sure that there is a parking space reserved for each member of the 1 board of governors; just one more step in the fight to preserve freedom for the student at university!

TQ THE

1959

WOMEN

By this time, all of us should k re fairly well organized academicEally, fairly well adapted to college r woutine (if there is such a thing 1s “routine” in this mad, mad, ; ife). It is now time to think in t erms of extra-curricular activit ies. These activities constitute an i mportant part of college life: t hey represent a phase of eduC :ation which is essential in the C Ivera development of the indiTlidual. If you do noIt contribute 1)y the giving of your time and t ,alents to one or more of the C jrganizations on campus, YOU are t (he loser. We have numerous organiza<ions and activities on campus. To lame just a few: W.U.S. (World Jniversity Service), N.F.C.U.S. :National Federation of Canadian Jniversity Students), The Politics Zlub, Psychology Club, French Zlub, Canterbury Club, Arts and Letters, The Cord Weekly, P. & G. Show, Athletic activities and so 3n. Surely if you have any talent you will be interested in and can 8ubject will be “Is Robin Hood be useful to one or more of these r meally dead?” organizations. We are particularly concerned PMale Voice Choir about you first year students. The choir had its first rehearsal Your time and opportunities as an Eit 3:30 a.m. on Sunday morning active university stud’ent are limi n the third floor washroom r rhough ited. We urge you to make the tone and diction were best use of these opportunities. i acking, volume was tremendous cmd the boys are preparing for We urge you to PARTICIPATE! ;#heir first recital, to be given, OJ May we repeat, these activities Ccourse, in the third floor washconstitute an important part of 1loom. college life: they represent a phase of education which is es‘iBl’uition sential in the overall development If you are thinking that tuitior I-:tes have gone up this year, jusl of the individual. t,hink what would have happenec i f the economics dept. had no1 PHI lPEETA PI t,hou.ght up the brainy idea oj The PINNING CEREMONY Cconfusing the Federal Gov’t bs which makes every girl on the (changing the name of this instiof our t,ution every few weeks ant campus an official member sorority was held on Thursday, I,hereby avoiding income tax. October 219. &Miss Margaret Nairn, IPost Mortem who is a graduate of Waterloo The Homecoming Football Game College, spoke to the girls after no comment. But why doesn” the big sisters had pinned the ;ie Athletic Association buy some little sisters with the official sorskin diving equipment; half timt ority pin. When the official part of Last Saturday was tailor made fol the evening was over th& girls enJohn Erb’s thrilling underwater joyed refreshments and a chance 3allet sequence. to mix with the \ guests and The character playing with the other sorority members. Everylonkey was a welcome sight one is looking forward to this But which one was the donkey’ ceremony again next year. , We This column originated in E hope that this is the beginning of Library Science lecture. a new tradition.

Overflow crowds have attended the first two Sunday Evening Lectures at First United Church, Waterloo, to hear Rev. George Boyle discuss the differences between Protestantism and Roman Catholicism. The subjects of the lectures are captivating and crucial to a clear understanding OJ the Protestant way of life, and Rev. Boyle, assistant professor OJ Religious Knowledge at Victoria University, Toronto, presents1 the subject matter in a way in which Willison Wall Intelllectual Society OJ The society had as its first all who hear can be assured speaker Mr. Sandor Werznowski, comprehension. The series is being delivered an uneducated nickel miner from by Rev. Boyle, a former Northern Ontario. Speaking in jointly his local vernacular, Sandor pro- Roman Catholic, and Rev. Sear vided the members with a very Lucien Vinet, formerly a Roman Priest. Both these mer colourful evening, due mainly tc Catholic of the Unitei his blue language. The dorm. im- are now ministers of Canada. The topic OJ pressario, Mr. Rob Goodcock, is Church to be congratulated for his forethis Sunday’s lecture, for instance, A PURGATORY, sight in hiring such a speaker, and is “IS THERE AND IF SO, WHERE?” This is all the intellectuals are looking forward to the visit of Maid handled, as are all the lectures, Marion, the next scheduled lec- in a Christian spirit with no malturer. She will travel here direcl , intent. There is no desire to (Continued page 4, col. 3) from Sherwood Forest, and her

OUR ADVERTISERS They

ddF INTEREST

30,

Of special interest to all students . . . even ENGINEERS? Tuesday, Nov. 3 you can buy genuine homemade fudge in the Torque Room and in the Nucleus. This is a chance .of a lifetime so don’t forget to come prepared to buy the best fudge you will ever taste. CUES

FROM

CONRAD

Judy

Chamberlain

It was a quiet week in Conrad Hall, that is, compared to last week, Oh, there were minor outbursts of devilry from Room 12, but nothing newsworthy. We had a birthday to celebrate on - Thursday, and Mrs. Binhammer baked a delicious cake in honour of the occasion. Furthermore, we \vere honoured on Friday to have as our guests Mrs. L. Schaus, Mrs. &\xford, and Miss J. McGill. Mrs. Binhammer again baked a cake. She has been, as she informed us, “caking the bake” all week. On Tuesday morning we were shocked out of our peaceful routine by the gruesom,e sight of a horse’s head on our front porch! The back door got a great deal of use that morning.

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Page Three

Olctober 30, 1959

some regulation mainly to take attention away from themselves and worse still the Vigs acted on their information. Do you call East week you read the first issue of the new Cord Weekly. this spirit? Personally I feel more spirit came from and was shown As you now know, we of the Enginews staff and the Engineerin helping each other in the paring Society feel that’ the amalgamation of the two newspapers ticular problems which arose in is to the best advantage of both the art students and the class misunderstandings and such. engineers. The amount of class spirit demonThe purpose in publishing a university newspaper is threestrated by a crowd of idiots going rags and shoe fold: to inform, to entertain and to advertise, in that order of about with yellow polish, is to say the least, d#ubious. importance. The old Enginews served the purpose of enterShould one sheepishly follow tainment quite well, but was sadly lacking in the informative everything he is told to do-all This was in no way due to the rationality and advertisement aspects. a side - and mope staff but rather to the limited facilities and distribution. along with the crowd, and hide Whatever information it contained was either too early or in classrooms during spare time afraid to go to lunch for fear he too late because of its bi-weekly publication and its advermay be asked to sing a smutty ’ tising was limited to the Engineering campus. song, or should he do exactly opSince the students of the University of Waterloo and posite to what he is told and now united under one students’ Waterloo College are acquire a number of fines which council, we felt it rather senseless to continue publishing two he is required to pay in hard cash to people who could not enforce one for Engineering and one for Arts. separate papers, their silly laws on those who had Through this new ,joint effort, one will soon be able to keep the spirit to rebel anyway. Again in touch with events on all campuses. there is wonderful courage and Also - and this follows naturally - the collective effort manliness shown by a gang of of the participants will make it possible to put out a ginks lying in the corridors, lovestupaper of higher quality than before, will allow a single, less ly legs in the air, shouting pid things at people who couldn’t complicated budgeting system which will show more results hear because they weren’t listenper dollar and, most important of all, will give us students a ing anyway-afraid to get up and unified voice towards moulding OUR university’s future. walk off. Some said it is good fun. Gary Lambert, Question; must guys roll in mud, arm in arm with a mate to have Enginews Editor. fun especially when the wetter the mud the better the fun? Kids think so. Personally I’ve had more fun without quite so much dirt. -Anyway the grins and the hilarity MAINLY FOR FRESHMEN Dear Sir: were at most forced and the maI am writing this letter in the Dear Sir: jority heaved a sigh of relief I read with interest, amusehope that it might somehow imwhen it was all over. Again, must ment, hope and ultimately disgust prove our meals at the University one submit for a whole week, in last week’s cafeterias. I am referring to the the two articles giving up one’s entire individualconcerned with the ity, to mass conformity extremely poor dish-washing! I “Enginews” in order initiation of the Frosh. for one certainly cannot enjoy a debasing to become one of the College men. The first began rather hopefully meal when I look at the silverSuppose we didn’t have initiation, enquiring what ware and see the remnants of by rhetorically would we be any less a College was the value of initiation to stuyesterday’s supper. And, what student? If it is initiation that and whether it would be makes should be crystal clear glasses are dents the College student, I am carried on next year. The rest of sorry a dirty grey that really disgusts I am one. Surely it is the Can’t something be done the article concerned itself with me. much more important act of being about this? a description of the facts followed part of College life and activities, by a general feeling of what the not a childish Ed’s Nste: introduction that calls ‘pride’ with no at- marks The person who wrote this let- writer the University man. ter prefers to remain anonymous tempt to answer the questions. Well, all being said and done, for obvious reasons. The editorial article was a very should we have an initiation next amusing and humourously exagyear? This is a hard question to gerated picture \of the ceremonial Editor’s Note: We must remind answer, I should think preferably and ended in the sadistical note correspondents that their letters not, but if we must have one let of the treatment the poor stiffs will not be printed unless they us at least approach the situation next year are going to get from pay us the courtesy of letting us with the balance and reasonablea questionable ‘us’. know their names. Pseudonyms ness expected of College men and When is this mediaeval system will be used if the author of the with neither the stupidity and of initiation, which at best is but letter so wishes, but the editor extremeness of school kids nor a poor imitation of some crude must know his true name. the brutality. and force of dictatAmerican ideas of what College to each life should be, and at worst an ors. Suppose we assigned new student one task-more or ENGINEERS ! ! ! ! outburst of pent up neuroses on less difficult-either useful, humThis is your paper. It is only as the part of some bitter recollecourous or socially repugnant good as YOU make it! Use it by tions of their own initiation must which he had to perform submitting your ideas in the form be worked off on others, going to whether he did or not would be of articles. There will be a place cease afflicting our new students? up to his own opinion of himselffor you to deposit them outside What are the effects of initiwith no fear of penalty or ferthe Engineering Society offices. ation? Firstly I think it makes ocious vigilantes. The performing Sign them in order to obtain the cleavage between the freshof this task would then initiate credits. man and sophomore years wider into College life than is necessary at the start of a the new student to everyone’s mutual advantage. new year, secondly for those stuOr suppose we established the dents who are leaving home life Sweeney’s Grocery custom of having the freshmen for the first time, it does not help put on a concert during their first overcome that much scorned, but 170 King St. North month here. This would encourvery real first homesickness; it WATERLOO age a class spirit, would provide makes a bunch of guys look very fun for all, would show that the stupid, in fact, quite unlike the freshmen had responsibility and ration81 creatures they undoubttalent, and would have no ridicuedly claim to be; it makes another lous consequences. bunch of guys look, and feel, I But, before we can be sensible suppose, like a lot of Hitlers or about this thing, we must have 100 King St. N. - Waterloo Perons. the controls and evenmindedness What are the supposed advantSpecializing in servicing to overcome our inherent sadistic ages? I heard the following quotForeign-make cars. tendencies and neuroses of ined: it creates a class spirit among ‘we went through it so frosh; it proves one is a man and sisting they,‘-thus, by the way can stand up to punishment; it’s must that we are not subject good fun; it makes one feel like proving and immaturity one of the boys. Let us take these to the weaknesses Kipg St. North - Waterloo of the sophomores. Think about one at a time, first the class spirit it Loofes. bit. It was seen and heard that BRENDAN W. O’CO~NNOR freshmen ‘informed’ Vigilantes lAs.3 that fellow frosh were breaking

e

A few months am a once, obscure Egyptian publishing company, came out with a copy of a translation of a set of documents which were found with the Dead Sea Scrolls. These documents were the memoirs, of one Abdul ben Sonnagun, a great engineer of the era. By a sheer stroke of luck, a copy of this translation fell into the hands of this reporter, on October 20th, 1959. To my chagrin, I noticed, after attempting to read the first page, that the translation was in the Arabic language. However, I soon obtained, through a local employment agency, an expert translator, originally from Brooklyn, who spoke the Arabic language fluently. Thus, without further delay, this reporter is proud to bring to the Canadian people, “The Memoirs of Abdul ben Sonnagun, boy engineer.” ‘Note: The first ten years of Abdul’s life are not recorded, for he could not write until he was eleven.’ “AT age of eleven, I fur& notice that my okupayshun shoed be for a engineer. I notice this, for cuz my fodder, Woolly ben Sonnagun sed to mee: ‘Abdul, you shood be a engineer. I no this cuz alla time you make drawins an den try to make somethin of the drawin. You reecalle, dontcha? Like dat ting you calla high-draw-lick rattrap. Yeah thatta one; the one Aunt Rooten don gotter toe cottin. An how bout dat Rockette-feller machine, what’s supposed to fiie yer mudder (bless hir sole) to Bombay an back, - Oh, I no, it gotter there, ok. Boy, were dose Indian fellers sore when shee flewd inta dat skie scraping ting. Wow! My brudder Niki has a hack over dere, an he sed it wuz real nice. Dere wuz ole mom, flie like a eagle, den wham! rite inna dis tower. Dat care taker guy not so stoopid, needer. All he said wuz: “Sonnagun,” He new who it wuz, awrite. So you see, sun, you gotta bee a engineer; an frum whut I see, you gonna bee a good one. You way a hedda your times. Don’t bee a lousy steal-wurker like me: there’s no muny in it.’ Thus spoke my fodder. I beganta think of whut he sed, an it make good cents. I hadda lotsa idees bout howta fix up the wurld fer reel l/class place. Like I wanna make a ting fer ta give camels more mylage to gallon, an a ting fer ta make a new tower fer dat Indian guy, anna new . . . oh sonnagun !! I ferget! Gotta get a l/class edyoucayshun. I no! I go to dat new Napoleon E’ngineering Scoole, inna a place where dey gotta lotsa mud. I Llike mud. You no, mud must bee good fer someting. I no. I go deret an planta lotta grass. Bee big man on camp-us den, you betcha.” END Next week: steal-wurkers.

ertz

PART Abdul

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239 King St. N. Wahxloo

Men are what women marry. They have two feet, two hands, and sometimes two wives, but never more than one idea at a time. Generally speaking, they may be divided into two classes, husbands and bachelors. An eligible bachelor is a man of obstinacy, surrounded by suspicion. Husbands are of three .’ varieties: prizes, surprises and consolation prizes. Making a husband out of a man is one of the highest plastic arts known to civilization. It requires science, sculpture, common sense, faith, hope and charity, especially - charity. It is a psychological marvel that a soft fluffy thing like a woman would enjoy kissing a big absurd stubbly chinned, tobacco, bay rum scented thing like a man. If you flatter a man it frightens him to death, if you don’t flatter him it bores him to death, if you permit him to make love to you it tires him in the end, if you don’t it tires him in the beginning. If you agree with him in everything you soon cease to interest him; if you argue with him you soon cease to charm him. If you believe all he tells you, he thinks you are a fool, and if you don’t he thinks you are a cynic. Gary Lambert, Enginews.

What is a Go-Mart? A Go-Kart is a vehicle (?> without suspension or body. It has a rectangular frame with a wheel mounted on each corner. The engine is rearmounted and is of the two-cycle lawn-mower or chain saw variety. Rules governing wheelbase, tread width and engine size are set down by the Go-Kart Club of America. Go-Karts average about five feet in length with a wheelbase of about forty-four inches and a tread width of thirty-two inches. With a ground clearance of one inch and this square design, it is almost impossible to upset them. Average speeds of Go-Karts are around 40 mph for ‘single engined karts and as high as 75 mph for the dual engined types. If you think 40mph is slow, try it sitting one inch off the ground. Go-Kart racing is becoming very popular in the KitchenerWaterloo area. As a result of this popularity the Central Ontario Kart Association was formed in early August, 1959. Racing is conducted at the Bridgeport Speedway just north of Kitchener. A I/101 mile oval was built especially for the karts. The safety factor is very high due to the speeds and protective clothing worn by the drivers. In twelve race meets there have been only two injuries that required hospital care. Since the initial cost of GoKarts is low and the upkeep practically nil everyone can get into racing. There are men’s races, Junior races and, best of all, 3he powder puff races. This season is almost finished, At early next May it will open Cain. So, for an evening’s fun, ok for the coming races and go lt and watch them. Fred

CMBCKEN

Clements

BASKET

Union St. - Plaza Waterloo 10% Discount with Meal Tickets


Page

October

Four

30,

1959

SPORTS~. 8 8 On Saturday morning cer team slashed through

the socthe mud

to lose their game. Oa Saturday afternoon, the Mules came out on the short end of a 1’7-0 count in their second mud bath of the year. Meanwhile, the fans whooped it up in the stands and had a rare time. makes

This; among me wonder

other why

factors, students

go out for the college teams at all. The recompense can be small. For example, the football team practices almost daily which is no easy task in itself. While the rest of the students are either drinking coffee in the Torque room, or doing some studying, the boys are out on the b,ack forty smashing away at each other to The result: shin get into shape. splints, stiff muscles and unfinished homework. This routine can be applied to the rest of the although to a campus teams, lesser degree. Nobody would venture to- say that playing for the Waterloo teams is a great intercollegiate honour. We win once in a while but our record is not too good. It its hard to lose all the time and yet week after week the players go out on the field knowing that the odds are against them. There are other reasons why one might not be too keen to try for a position on an intercollegiate team; you probably can think of a few as well as I. Perhaps the players feel that the bit of recognition they do get, the pride in playing folr a college team, or the plain love of sport are reward enough for their efforts. To me it looks small in comparison and so I would like to congratulate all those on any team who wear the college colours. Whatever you are getting out of it, I hope it comes in large doses. I hope, dear readers, that in all the excitement of homecoming weekend, you did not fail to notice that the golf team won our first intercollegiate championship. This was a repeat performance of last year so that it is a double honour. Congratulations, gentlemen, and may you never slice a ball again. One final note brings this column to a close. I have it straight from the horse’s mouth that one PAUL KNOX will not only not be playing with the hockey team this year (which I is indeed unfortunate), but furthermore will be in the, camp of the enemy, Osgoode Hall. Oh well,

win

some,

lose

some.

SOCCER While parading

the rest around

of the school wa the Twin Citie:

the stalwart soccer squad wa swimming behind Willison H,all. Fred scoring Later,

Reese drew first bloo neatly from quarter was 7. 5 Ryerson bruisers pushe d

Pablo Matchetski the score. Brian

back Leger

and and

tie d ME I1 Allington, with expert adroitnes: 3, outmaneuvered a startled Ryerso n goalie and popped another in. Th e score was 2-l. In the second hal: f ’ Ryerson returned full force, an d scored three more goals. Th e final score, although we feel i it was not ,fully earned, was 4-2 fa r Ryerson.

On Thursday of last week, in Zompetition with teams from ticMaster, O.A.C., Ryerson, OsToode Hall and Assumption Unirersity, the University of Water60 retained the Intercollegiate (self Championship which they Golf 7van last year at Westmount Zlub. Playing at the Islington ( (Zolf and Country Club in Toront,o, they shot a combined score of f!18 to beat second place Osgoode 1!Iall by 9 strokes. The team, conSoutham, Bill smisting of Harry Gordon Paul, and 1VIcNaughton, I:VIike Whitehead, played steady ;olf over the 6535 yeard course, ’c ind all came close to winning the ; ndividual title. Harry Southam, last year’s Cchampion and captain of this

year’s squad, needed par the last two holes to tie place, but a bogey five seventeenth hole and a tee shot on the final hole out of the running.

Gord’s score was 79, which tied him with Harry and Bill, 3 shots away from first place. It was Mike Whitehead, however, who had the greatest chance of winning the title. Playing in since a serBill McNaughton, second in the his first tournament ious accident two years ago, he scoring last year, was in contenoff thirteen pars and two tion until he took a bogey six on reeled bogeys in the first fifteen holes, the long thirteenth hole. He putthe field with ted boldly for a birdie 4 from 6 and was leading But he feet, but the ball slipped past the just three holes to play. cracked under pressure and took hole and he missed the return two triple bogey sevens on the putt. final holes. Gordon Paul, also a member of Championships of any descriplast year’s winning team, ran into tion are rarities at the University trouble on the same hole. His of Waterloo, and the four men third shot finished over the green, are to be congratulated on bringand after a great recovery his ing the college its second successhort putt just failed to drop. sive golf title.

It was nice to have crowd for our first game. at least FIVE supporters.

such a We ha d 1LTHLETIC ACTIVITIES Attention ladies-basketball has started and a team is forming to How about it? Next Saturda mepresent Waterloo in our intera bus is going to Ryerson. Pleas cholastic league. Anyone intercome with us. We need a bit c :sted in participating should come support. Contact Alf Spricenick! o the practices-Monday and Dave ‘Nathan, or Bill Powell i I”hursday evening from 7:00 to you wish to cheer us to victory. 3:OO. All are encouraged to come )ut and play. Badminton is also in progress. FOOTBALL 1 Wednesday evening from 8:OO to ILO:00 is your opportunity to come With what seemed to be a flag your enrant disregard for the basic fund: L- 1;o the gym and release by batting around a poor mentals and the will to win, th te ‘rgy bird. It’s good exerWaterloo Mules. lost their secon d’ lefenceless straight football game, 22-0, t;o (:ise too so come out. the cadets from the Royal Mil itary College. After what seeme d to be a good start, accompanie d improvement, th le bY steady Mules showed almost nothing on offence or defence. Mistake s, which had been only too ay Iparent in the first games, wer l e not even partially covered up b Y a few individual performances. Some players still forget th ,e plays, others don’t follow block ;ers, while a few stand by an d complement the R.M.C. receiver ‘S on their five unhindered effort k to catch the passes. It seems the tear-n moves bette !r with Dan Yarmey’s experience 2it quarterback, and yet he play ‘S only a few minutes a game 0 offence. The defensive line too f: more bait on trap plays ‘an d screen passes than I thought WI LS possible.

PHOTOGRAPHERS ADVERTISINGSALESMEN NEWS REPORTERS

(Continued from p. 2, col. 4) deliberately animosity Cengender I3etween Protestants and Roman but to promote a higher (Catholics, of each other’s l understanding in this world of contraIlosition I lositions. All students of every denomiI lation are invited to attend this series of lectures h;cintillating 7which are both entertaining and education! Doors open ( certainly com2it 6:45 p.m. and the service at .7:30. Three lectures r nences *emain in the series:. Sundays, I November lst, 8th and 15th. The are further illuminated l ectures

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ry Question-and-Answer Periods to appear “sensational” in this and a well-stocked book display. matter! The prime aim is to proBe sure to reserve these evenings mote a clearer understanding in for this particular series. the minds of United Church memOne further comment might be bers, and Protestantism in genadded at this point. There is no eral, of the contemporary status desire on the part of the church 1of our people and their faith.

-

A few players seem to put thei ir guts into every game while other ‘S prepare by soaking up suds E1t the local pubs on Friday nigh t. Yarmey, Tice, Rosenberg, Frar lsen and Targosz all seem to pla Y as if there was some important to winning. I wish it would brus off on some of the others!

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