EANS DR P AGE ,Yi ANN0 NEW FACULTY. The appointment of Deans for the faculties of science and engineering at the University of Waterloo was announced to-day by Dr. J. G. Hagey, President of the University. Bruce W. Kelley has been named Dean of Science and Douglas T. Wright has been appointed Dean of Engineering. Both men served previously as acting deans of the university’s two faculties. Professor Kelley has also been named acting Dean of Arts for the university. Dean Kelley is the senior member of the Waterloo faculty. He joined the teaching staff of Waterloo College in 1946 and transferred to the University upon its formation last year. He has played a key role in setting up the engineering and science curricula at the university. Prior to wartime service with the R.C.A.F. he taught in the Ontario secondbary school system. Dean Kelley is a graduate of Queen’s University the Ontario College of Education and of the University of Chicago Dr. Wright, 32, is one of Canada’s youngest deans of engineering. A B.A.Sc. gradu,ate of the University of Toronto, he corn. pleted M.S. studies at the Univer
Special Conwwation Monday, February lst, the University of Waterloo and Waterloo University College will have the privilege of hearing one of the great A Cappella choirs of the United S.tates. A special Convocation is being held at 10 a.m. for all College students to hear the 65-voice Augsburg College Choir from Minneapolis, Minnesota. The director is Leland B. Sateran, chairman of the school’s Department of Music, who has a rich background in choral music and whose compositions are used by choral groups throughout the United States and Canada. Its performance at Seagram Stadium is one of four in Canada on a tour which covers Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, OnMichigan, Wisconsin and tario, Minnesota. Sunday, January 3 1st, the Augsburg Choir .will sing at St, Matthew’s Lutheran Church and St. -Mark’s Lutheran Church, both in Kitchener. On Saturday, January 30th, the Shakespearean Festival Theatre will be opened for a special performance in Stratford.
;ity of Illinois and later received lis Ph.D. from the University of Sambridge. He taught civil engineering at Queen’s University 3efore coming to the University 3f Waterloo in 1958. An authority .n the field of structural engineerng, he has presented some 20 oapers on the subject. He also serves on a number of American 2nd Canadian technical committees which are concerned with structural engineering problems. Two faculty appointments in the university’s Mechanical Engineering Department were also announced today. Albert R. LeFeuvre was named acting Chairman of the department and Konstant R. Piekarski was appointed an assistant professor in the department. Professor LeFeuvre joined Waterloo’s Engineering Faculty in 1957 and a year later was named Assistant Professor of Mechanical Engineering. He’taught previously at the University of Toronto. He holds both a B.A.Sc. and an M.A.Sc. degree from the University of Toronto He is an executive member of tht Kitchener Branch of the Engineering Institute of Canada and also serves as faculty student ad-
The meeting of the Students’ Legislat,ive Executive was called to order by the president at 7:00 19, 1960, in the P-m-9 January Board Room. Those present: Carry Morton, Chuck Powers, Garry Caldwell, Paul Creighton, Pablo Machetzki, John Enns, Bruce Lumsden, Larry Cohen, Dr. Durst. The minutes of the last meeting were read and approved. The next item was the report from the Union Council representative, Garry Morton. Garry reported that the U.S.C. had lnet for the first time as the students’ council of the University of Waterloo the other night. It has yet to draw up a constitution. The whole organization depends on what the ’ S.L.E. is going to do with their own constitution. Therefore, he suggested that the S.L.E. should begin working on their constitution. He also informed, the members that each faculty council should appoint a judicial committee. It was moved by Paul Creighton, seconded by Bruce Lumsden that this report be accepted. Carried. A constitution committee report was then given by the -president Mon., Feb. 1 - Augsburg College He informed the council that the Choir, Minneapolis, Minn. ( 10 committee had ‘met once before A.M. Stadium 1 federation, During that meeting Tues., Feb. 2-Harold Brill Semi- they had decided. that, since the nar. only constitution approved by the Wed., Feb. 3 -- Rev. Delton J. students and Board of Governor: Glebe, Mount Zion Lutheran was the old S.L.E. constitution, il Chureh, member Board of was still legal and could be used Governors. * until the Board had made its deThurs., Feb. 4--Dr. Ulrich S. Leucision, Now, federation makes ii pold, Dean of Waterloo Sem. necessary for some changes in ouz constitution.. He suggested thal Friday, Feb. 5 .- Chaplain Martin Dolbeer. the constitution committee thal
C ES riser for the E.I.C. at the Unirersity. Mr. Piekarski came to Waterloo n 1958 as a member of the Coordination Department which counsels the co-operative engin?ering students in their industrial Issignments. During World War [I he served as an officer with the Polish Army, and in the Polish underground forces. Discharged n England, he attended London University and was graduated with a Dipl. Eng. degree in 1949. In the departmem of Civil Engineering, Charles P. Fisher has been appointed an assistant professor. He holds the degrees B.A.SC. and M.A.Sc. from the University of Toronto and is a registered Ontario Land Surveyor. After some years with the Otiario Department of Highways, he established a private consulting practice in Civil Engineering. The appoimment of three lecturers to the university’s teaching staff has also been announced They are: Ronald Eydt, M.Sc., ir botany; James D. Ford, M.A.Sc. engineering; ant in chemical John S. Keeler, B.A.Sc., in elec trical engineering.
Rev. D. H. Eremer of The Witness -Committee of the 1Faith and ‘Life Council through i .ts chairman, Brian Kirkham, has 1 ,announced the date and main ;peaker for the annual Religious Emphasis Week to be conducted 3r-i the campuses of the Univerand Waterloo nad been set up should work ti ;ity of Waterloo College. The series of draw up the new constitution a University joon as possible. It was ‘rnovet programs will be held Monday Friday, February 22 to oy Ga.rry Morton, seconded b; ;hrdugh 16, on the theme “What is Man?” Paul Creighton, that this repor be accepted as information. Car Main sp?aker for the week is ried. :he Rev. Dr, David Henry Bremer The new business began with chaplain since 1952 of .Muhlenreport from the class president: oerg College, Allentown, PennBruce Lumsden asked that th sylvania. Born in Spokane, Washclass presidents inform the stu ngton, 40 years ago, Dr. Bremer dents of the Freshmen Formal t is a graduate of Wittenberg Colbe held on February 26. It wa lege and Chicago Lutheran Theomade clear that if a loss was in logical Seminary. He received his curred from the dance it wo’ul Ph.D. from Boston University in come out of the reserve func 1949 in the field of Psychology of Joan Reesor informed the count Religion and Counseling. that $75 - $86 was made on th Before coming to Muhlenberg sale of Christmas cards. Chuc College, he served for three years Powers reported that m’an as Associate Secretary of the seniors were not pleased wit Board of Education of the United their graduation pictures an _.--- ---_ -- -.-._ --.-.----- ---- .~ PaL offered some suggestions. Creighton reported that som Morton, seconded by Larry Cohprofit was made on the Sophc sn that the class presidents nomimore Formcal. nate or ask two people from their The following resolutions wer class to’ serve ,on a Judicial Compassed with all in favour: mittee until our new constitution An incident that occurred at is ready. Students selected are dance was brought to the notic not to be members of the Inof the council. It was recommenc vestigation Committee or S.L.E. ed that some action be taken t Names are not published. see that such an incident does nc Moved by .Paul Creighton, occur again. Moved by Garry seconded by Jim Hales that our, Bruce Morton, seconded by faculty advisor, Dr. Durst, see Lumsden that ,the executive be our administration re plowing authorized to send a letter to the the road. student reprimanding him for his The time and dates of the next Carried, ob~~oxious behaviour. meetings are 7:00 p.m., February Moved by Tom Cline, seconded by 2 and 16. Paul Creighton that in the future Also present at the meeting such obnoxious behaviour or any were Joan Reesor, Tom Cline, other at any dance shall be re- Margaret Steele, Jim Hales and ported to the S.L.E. by the executhe secretary. ti\:e sponsoring the dance and Moved by Bruce Lumsden, that action will be forthcoming. seconded by Chuck Powers that A motion was made by Garry the meeting be adjourned.
Muhlenberg College Lutheran Church i n America field of recruitment and guidance of candidates for the ministry and other church vocations. He is a member of the Committee on Study and Research, Department of the Ministry, National Council of Churches. He holds professional membership in the American Psychological Association and the American College Personnel Association. He has contributed numerous articles to Church Publications In addition to the morning presentations by Dr. Bremer Monday through Friday of the week of February 22nd, four evening programs are planned for Monday through Thursday, two to be held in the University Ampitheatre, the other two in the Music Hall Speakers of the ‘Arts Building. for these programs plus the members of the Panels, which ‘will lead the discussion of each day’s theme, and other details for the week will be given in future issues of the Cord Weekly. _.______. .1 - _.--- -_- --._.-I_--------- --
Students who frequent the Male Common Room are reminded of the regulations stipulated by S.L.E. These regulations .are still in eflect. 1’
; ’ ’ I j
1. Dishes and trays are not to be brought into the Common Room. 2. Use the ash trays provided. 3. Deposit ail waste in the receptacles provided. 4. Use the tables and chairs in the proper manner. 5. Conduct yourselves as gentlemen.
1 These rules must be <observed / or-steps -will be taken to close the ’ Common Room.
VOX LIBORUM At the January Filth meeting of the University of Waterloo Students’ Council, definite measures were taken to facilitate the planning of the University of Waterloo Student Union Building. The Student Union Building Fund was established by the 1957-58 student body. Each student since, has paid ten dollars per year which is to apply toward this fund. Jack Buchanan, Gary Morton, and Robert Wyckham met with three members of the Alumni to discuss the organization and the necessary steps to be taken in the planning of the building. It was decided that, initially, a committee should be organized which would function each year, thus assuring continuity in the development of the plans. Contact with other universities as to the nature and the maintenance of their student buildings would also provide valuable information. The committee to be appointed for planning will be authorized by the constitution, with certain members serving for more than one year. Our Alumni has indicated a genuine and much appreciThey are willing to sacrifice time ated spirit of co-operation. and give of their talents to aid us in this venture. It follows naturally that the students should be vitally interested in their investment and therefore give their support and initiative if called upon to serve on the planning committee. Many of us will have graduated by the time the proposed Nevertheless, such a building would building is in operation. be a tribute to the foresight and enterprise of those students responsible for the planning.
Now that exams are over for a little while and you are able to take a deep breath, would you like to read some books with a chuckle in them? These are not new books; you may have already made their acquaintance. Here is one for the harried business student. It is called “How to Run 3 Bassoon Factory or Business Explained and Business for Fleasure,” by a mythical author, Mark Spade. There is an appreciation Df the late Mr. Spade by Nigel Balchin. It seems that Mr. Spade has come to a sticky end as the result of a disagreement with a foreman over a large adjustable wrench. Nigel Balchin appreciates Mr. Spade tenderly because, after all, he is Mr. Balchin’s brain\ child.
Parkinson’s Law pr The Pursuit of Progress. The Law may be stated in words quite simply thus, “Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion”. This Law may also be stated, not at all simply, by an arithmetic, geometric, algebraic, chemical formula, thus 1010(2km- 1:) %.. Mr.
Parkinson claims that he and his staff have spent thousands of man-hours gathering scientific data and conducting secret experiments for this book. Two of the essays, “Personality Screen or the Cocktail Formula”*and “High Finance or the Point of Vanishing Interest” find the reader thinking, why that’s very true. Is it possible that Mr. Parkinson’s view of the world is the true view? The illustrations made by The preliminary notice makes Osbert Lancaster add immeasurseveral relevant remarks about ably to the understanding of the going into business. “Nowadays, when being in beer is the first text. C. Northcote Parkinson has step to a baronetcy, making mocompleted a new book containing tors the straight path to a mara new law which will be publishand peddling patent quisate, ed next month by Houghton medicines a qualification for the Mifflin of Boston. The title of the peerage, there is no reason why any one of us who is tired of new book is The Llaw and the Profit. Parkinson’s 2nd Law is working for a living, should hesi“Expenditure rises to meet intate to go into business and make This Law may explain come.” a few millions.” why a man may go bankrupt by Then Mr. Spade launches into a merely getting a raise. Published by the Undergraduate students of the University of Waterloo and careful exposition of how to, set Waterloo University College, at the Board of Publications, Room 105, Willison To finish off, I give you “An Hall, Waterloo University College. Phone SH. 4-6471. The opinions expressed are factory. He be- Anthology of Satire, Invective those of the editorial and publication staff, and are not official opinions of the up your bassoon Students’ Council, or the Administration, unless otherwise stated. gins with hints on finance (Above and Disrespectful Verse Chiefly Editor: HAROLD BREWER all, avoid debentures) and ends by Canadian Writers” in a volume Managing Editor: MXKEl WHITEHEAD Sports Editor: GLEN LUDWIG with “Latle aids to efficiency”. Sports Columnist: MERRYLL GRAHAM titled The Blasted Fine. The DisBusiness Manager: TOM FREURE Advertising Mgr.: RON B ERENBAUM Women’s Editor: DALE PERRIN You may gather some idea of the respectful Verse was selected, Circulation : HANS HELDRING Engineering Editor: RON CHURCH weight and value of the informaarranged and introduced by F. R. Typists: VIRGINIA LEON, CAROLYN JOHNSON. tion imparted from the last piece Scott and A. J. M. Smith. All the of advice, “Intermix your study verse included is by no means of these pages with a few lightpoetr,y, but doggerel and ditty are hearted moments with the Handforgiven in the name of satire. book of Business Administr,ation”. The role of satire is to correct a lack of maturity not befitting Dear Sir: ct. Northcote Parkinson is a vice and our vice is smugness and If the students of this Univertheir presumed level of intellect self-satisfaction. Therefore read British professor who has achievU.H.! sity are not appalled by the lack The Blasted Pine, chuckle a ed immortality by the statement (Editor’s Note: “QUID, ME of serious articles in their publiand be corrected. of his Law in the book called chuckle ??“> cation, the Cord! Weekly, they VEXARI should be. Such a lack seems to Dear Sir: indicate that the students are not In a recent edition of the interested in what is going on in “Cord”, you published an article By MORL,EY ROSENBERG the world about them, or else entitled, “Can Rockefeller Bethey have no opinions worthy of come President” in which I prezOI$TH (Smith) first bid suit of dummy, which publication. Either case suggests dicted that Nelson Rockefeller was diamonds. Since I only had Fi - Q, J, 5, 4 a shameful and dangerous state K, 84, 3, 2 f? -A, - A, 9. would be the next American a singleton I was very happy of mind. president. Since that time, Mr. about the whole situation. BAST (Jones) r:Sz (gRo,=nqbe;g1 A glance through the publicaRockefeller has announced that ’ S-K, 9, 5 When dummy came down, I tions of other universities reveals he would not be a candidate for E-9* collapsed. South took - A’ 8: 3’ DH -- void Q, J, 10, 8, 6 nearly an abundance of opinion on inter-. the Republican C - Q, J, 10, 4, 3 dummy’s c- 7, 6,5, 2 nomination. Ace of diamonds and national events, domestic politics, SGsmQ (p6m3) Dealer The purpose of thig article was promptly played a small heart. current literature and even book not to establish myself as a po- It, io, $, 7, 6, 2 (Actually he should have played DH-7, 5 and movie reviews. Such is not litical prophet. My qualifications the ten of spades first). I went up C-K the case with the “Cord” and it for such an avocation are modest with my Ace of hearts and sat EAST - WEST VULNERABLE is most unfortunate. indeed. It was my intention to back and looked at my partner. TJERTH EgT Z!ET Publishing the “Cord” is an stimulate in the EFH an interest I was on lead with one trick in Pass expensive proposition. Each edi- American Presidential race and pj % ZE 4 N.T. and two more to take, inI order Pass Pass Double tion costs the students $150. This politics in general. I have reason to defeat the contract. I could see Opening lead: 9D is an extravagant sum to be to believe that 11 was successful the Ace of spades as one trick During the holidays, I decided spending for a bulletin which in doing this. On several occabut where was the other one. I bridge at decided . conveys information about club sions, while sitting around a din- to play a little rubber that my partner must the Bridge Studio in Hamilton. meetings. Granted, weekly con- ner table, the topic of conversahave a trick somewhere or he three gentlemen, tributions are made by two or tion has turned to my article and When I arrived, wouldn’t have doubled. Mr. Jones, and Mr. three regular writers, but unless a heated but informative ex- Mr. Smith, My partner, Mr. Jones, must Brown, asked if I would join more students demonstrate a change of opinion has followed, either have the King of clubs or to discuss varied willingness These incidents have assured me them in a game. I sat down and the King of spades. The only I way we could will continue topics, the “Cord” thlat my time was not w&ted in this was the first hand which defeat the conpicked up. to be a high class bulletin board. writing the article. tract was to get a diamond1 ruff To the various individuals whc There is little reason for the The bidding deserves a little on the lead back from my partme with a triumphant existence of this sad state of approach comment. North and South reachner’s hand, I had to get into his affairs. Surely the students of smirk on their lips, and sarcasticed four hearts on routine and hand. The Ace of clubs was ally ask if I still think Rockethis campus have opinions about conservative bidding, when my staring me in the face and I defeller will be president, I can only partner, swastika-dabbers, the new diploMr. Jones decided to bid cided to underlead my Ace of that they get off their ‘macy, beatniks, the missile lag, suggest four N.T. This four N.T. is the spades! (With only one spade in and put THEIR opinions alcohol, sex, and Charles Van brains unusual aspect of this hand. It dummy). I led the four of spades in print. Doren. _ meant that Mr. Jones wanted me and East put on the King. I think Ron Berenbaum. to bid either of the unbid suits he was more surprised than any’ In many of the countries of the on which one was my one to see it capture the trick. (Editor’s Note: Thank you, Mr, depending world, students risk persecution best. Of course in this instance Then he led back a diamond for your letter. Your in their fight for a FREE PRESS. Berenbaum, last paragraph, ,although it blunthe was wrong in bidding it. But which I ruffed and we set the In this country, and on this camI could answer him, Mr. contract dlown one trick. is a before pus, we have this freedbm. The ly puts the point forward, Brown bid five hearts which I After the hand was over I askdefinite challenge to the “Coffee unwillingness of students to exerhouse” (Torque Room) critics.) couldn’t quite understand. Al- ed Mr. Jones why he decided to cise their freedom demonstrates though I almost doubled at this double, (since I had taken two point (on my partner’s strength of the three necessary tricks). He and my .two Aces) I decided to said that he had a feeling thaft pass. North passed and then my on the sequence of bidding by partner doubled. Where and what North and South, that they RESTAURANT he doubled on was beyond my couldn’t have made the hand. 299 King St. West comprehension. I decided that his As a result I don’t play with KITCHENER double called for a lead of the strangers in rubber matches.
I wonder if the professors have as much fun marking essays as we have writing them? Apparently one of the senior girls’ residents spent an evening contemplating the evils of locked doors. Anyone have extra keys? Two girls have left Conrad Hall. Does apartment life solve the problem? I haven’t had any comments on the last issue of the Cord . . . I must be gettinlg soft! The weather and school spirit have something in common . . . both are soggy and sickening. Too bad more people don’t patronize the local pubs! Apparently more philoso,phical and social problems are solved over those little round tables than over the smooth desks of lecture rooms. CUEIS FROM CONRAD An innovation in Room 5, a very picturesque clothesline, addIs much to the decor and proved itself extremely useful when a certain resident came home dripping wet. As there was no evidence of rain on that fateful day, we are wondering what mishap (or conspiracy) produced the drenched appearance. All the unfortunates whose birthdays occur during the summer vacation are transferring their dates to a more suitable time during the school term in order to merit one of our housemother’s delicious cakes. However, we still haven’t decided whether birthdays celebrated in this manner are belated or advanced, and it does cause some controversy in determining the number of candles. Many newly acquired bruises are due to a well-iced and frequently used slide behind the dorm. Also in the line of winter sports is the competition between residents of Conrad and the neighbouring dorm for the privilege of shovelling the sidewalk. Little Miss Muffet Decided to rough it In the midst of a forest ewal,
A rounder espied her And plied her with cider And now she’s the forest’s prime evil.
JESSOP & WHALEY CLEANERS Shirt 28
Bridgeport Rd. 79 King St. S. WATERLOO
41 Ontario St. N. KITCHENER -
WHITE ROSE INN 188
Now O,pen Under New Management, Hours:
- 11 P.M.
Dinner 12 Noon
INITIATION OF THE LOOFES EeZ8toriaZ,
Whether you are aware of it or not the Summer-Winter Quarter of engineers is back. We would like to welcome all our freshmen to the University of Waterloo and thank them for their co-operation during the initiations. We hope you met and got to know your classmates, surroundings, sliderules, seniors, nurses’ residences, and the YWCA. (Don’t ask US how you meet a slide-rule or a surrounding). Seriously, without initiations, to accomplish all this would have taken you at least a month and in this course a month means everything. We sincerely hope that you grasped the basic purpose behind initiations and most of all that you had a lot of fun. The initiations were only marred by one incident. The gym, which had been reserved for weeks in advance by the engineers for the “Freshmen Court”, was not relinquished by Mr. Totzke in time for said event to be held. Strange, it also seems that Mr. Totzke was never around in the summer quarter when he was needed. We would also like to congratulate the forty odd (and we mean just that) engineers who have been here since July, 1959, without a break. Hang on, fellows, only two more ’ months. As probably most of the senior students know, the Summer - Winter Quarter has published “Enginews” as a separate newspaper for the last three terms. In fact, the last time we wrote for a combined Arts - Engineering publication was back in the school year of 1957-58 (if you can remember that far back). We have been asked many questions why the “Enginews”, in those days a publication of five to nine pages, is not being published separately this term. There are many reasons for the amalgamation of the two publications. Now that the question of federation finally seems to be settled, we feel that a University paper might benefit both institutions. We hope that this paper will acquire such a nature. The circulation and thus the power of the voice of the students will be increased. To please everybody, “Enginews” will have its own section so as not to lose its individuality. The “Enas we cannot work on the ginew s” staff will be kept intact same schedule as the “Cord Weekly” staff, the chief reason being the nature of our course. We hope that you will give us your opinion (either for or against) on the amalgamation. These may be in the form of “Letters to the Editor, Enginews”. In closing, we would like to say that the “Enginews” is a publication of the non-denominational University of Waterloo and is responsible only to the above mentioned institution, along with the Editorial Board, for articles printed therein. Jack Kruuv, Editor of Enginews. ENGINEWS Editor: JACK KRUUV Sports Editor: DON HAGEY A.rt Editor: LIZS KANE: THEODORE
like from viewpoint.
Potronize Your Nearest Sports Goods Dealer
Assistant Editor: HARRY JOHNSON Photography Editor: MCPKE McBIRNIE Circulation: JOE ESKRITT Staff Writers: LEONARD NOBLEMAN, W. R. (Bill) GREEN
Why I Like Tina Louise Anyone wishing to contribute anything to “Enginews” like articles, pictures, jokes, money, phone numbers, suggestions, criticism, scientific news, opinions, gossip, announcements, sadism, etc., may do so by putting their contribution in the mailslot marked “Enginews” in the mailbox on the second. floor of the Physics building. Anyone wishing to work on. the “En’ginews” staff may also do so (please, pretty please, do so) by getting in touch with the editor or your class rep. Would the members of the present staff watch the bulletin board for the next meeting of the “Enginews” staff. As you can see this article has nothing to do with Tina Louise; we only wanted you to read this article. Actually we don’t like Tina Louise at all; we like Doris Day.
Do Not Read This Column As
the headikg states do not this column unless you are interested in having the time of your life. This term the biggest and best Billionaires“ Weekend ever encountered since the evolution of mankind is being planned by the Engineering Society. Activities will commence on Friday the 4th of March with a challenge basketball game against the University College. After this bloody encounter, the evening will be rounded out by an enlightening record orgy.
Saturday evening (March 5) will bring to light the “Grey and Gold Ball”. The highlight of the evening will be the crowning oJ “Miss Engineer 1969”-a spectacle not to be outdone by the second rate “Miss Universe Con test”. All those in attendance car be assured of a delightful ant edible evening depending on the nature of their date.
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38 King St. N. - Waterloo (Across from the Post Office)
of-war and a game of dodge the ball otherwise known as “who threw that shot-put at me”. *This was followed by a ride into Kitchener on the bus. Tallk about sardines! Have you seen 12,O people in a bus that was made to carry 46 or 5O? Well, then you will have some idea what it was like. Upon our arrival in Kitchener we disembarked from the bus and formed orderly(?) ranks of two and marched d*own Kinlg Street. After several choruses of that famous choral piece “The Engineering Hymn” we switched to spirited marching songs such as “Bridge of the River Kwai” and “Ma I want to be an artsman well son your censored censored fool”. The LOO,FES ended their trek at the YMCA-or was it the YWCA -well, there was a dance anyway and several of the LOOFESI filled up their Kitchener blackbooks for future reference. The next. night we”h&%Te Kangaroo Court and the LOOFES were severely(?) punished for their crimes of disobediance as they had been threatened they would be all week. This mayhem was followed by. a big(?) dance in Seagram’s Gym-or was it Carling’s Brewery? On the whole the Initiation foll)owed the functional pattern that our Summer-Winter quarter has chosen in the past. The main requirements that had to be met by the LOOFES, were the wearing of the traditional mgineering hat and the wearing of signs proclaiming to all that they were LOOFES and proud of it. Their names also appeared on the signs to help them get acquainted with each other and to facilitate our handling of them. The ZOGFES were also required to carry slide rules at all times and to be! able to use them on command from any senior. Well that just about raps up the initiations and I hope that all of you en joyed yourselves (including the instigators of the petitions, etc.) and that you will be on hand next January to help out with our next imtiation. W. ‘R. (Bill) Green
ELIZABETH’S SwanCleaners: Where the COI lege Crowd Meet to Eat
Initiation is defined by Webster LS the rites, ceremonies, ordeals, )r instructions with which one s made a member of a sect or Fociety. During the LOOFES intiation we tend to stress the in‘ormative or functional aspect of he initiation while at the same ime we are forming the rites or ceremonies for future generations If engineering students at the Jniversity of Waterloo. The Intiation got its start on Tuesday afternoon when Jack Kruuv conlucted a slide-rule course with lis pocket slide-rule (6 ft. by ! ft.). All was running smoothly until, some joker producer a cirular slide-rule. (Jack is still runiing around in circles) I would ike to suggest at this point that iext year we have a set of slideule notes run off and handed out. am suggesting this for two reasIns; one is that a slide-rule can )e a very functional tool in engin:ering and secondly, there are ‘ellows in third year who can mly multiply and divide with hem. (of course their excuse is hat as soon as we have the comjutor, slide-rules will become obsolete). Later on in the same evening #he LOOFES were separated into imall colourful groups and taken n hand by their task-masters. [“he reason for this division was ,o. acquaint the LOCFES with )ther students who were not in .heir own section and to make he groups easier to handle. I also have another suggestion for lext year: how about breaking ;he LOOFES down into groups of me with ten big brothers to ;upervise his activities? This sugzestion is the result of one of the groups turning on their likeable, lenevolent and gracious tasknaster (and I still have the Druises to prove it). The tasks were of an assorted variety (?) such as shovelling out driveways; pushing Big Brother’s car (since he wanted to save gas) ; stapling old exam papers together; (incidentally they will soon be on sale at two-bits a set, I think?) ; and serenading Willison Hall or was it Conrad-1 forget, On Wednesday night things really got underway with a tug-
FOR THE FINEST DRY CLEANING AND SHIRT LAUNDERING
This column will attempt to be a bi-occasionally production of anecdotes, jokes, and useful (? ) information. To get the term off to a good start I have a little gem of information for all you students who find a slide-rule inaccurate and wish a more exact answer. The information is this, Pi. to 110 decimal places. Well, here we go: 3,.141159,26535;89793,23846,62643,383#217,95028,84197,16939,9375,1,05820,9~7494,45923,07816,40628,6,2089,98628,03482,53421,17067,98214,80865. I also have a comment on the Engineering Society Book Store. Have you ever gone over there during the listed open hours and found it closed? Is that what’s bothering you, boy? Well, the solution is simple, just go there during the unposted hours. By the way I hear that the “Governor” is offering a slightly used “do-it-yourself” barber kit at a real bargain price. (His wife insists he give it away).. The grape-vine has it rumoured that the Engineering Week-end will be held on the 4th and 5th of March. It is also rumoured that the Engineers have graciously offered to defend the champion ship they won last year in basket-
ball over the (boo) arts students. If this does come about it will be held on the night of the 4th of March. Perhaps “Terrible Tom Troughton” will attempt to recoup his victory of last winter and coach the “Terrors” again. One professor attempting to teach some engineering scholars classical algebra said “If some enterprising Greek of ancient Greece was offering 2 togas at the ridiculously low price of 36 denarii how much would 1 toga Cost?” The student who answered must have been a relative of “Honest Ed” for he answered: “35 denarii since it was a one denarius sale”. Well if the grout doesn’t catch iguanodon and the interfluve isn’t follo’wing the leibnitz rule you will hear from me again. Will any student who brought records to the “Bermuda Bop” last summer and came away with a Johnlny Mathis record “Warm” instead of their own record by Les and Larry Elgar-t please get in contact with George Newton, or Ross Clark or anyone else connected with the Engineering Society about getting their record back. W. R. (Bill) GREEN
By SlNBAD Now that we have all decided to become one big happy family, perhaps it will be possible for us to enter into sports activities in the intercollegiate field on a larger scale. This will probably be as slow in coming as federation itself was, but at least there are possibilities. As it stands now most of the participants in sports come from the Arts faculty. There are a few participants from the boys down below but there aren’t any campus teams as such. Too much support comes from one faculty. The picture may be different, The engineering faculty is becoming larger all the time and if they become as active as they are vociferous then they will contribute a great deal to, the intercollegiate scene. With the entrance of St. Jerome’s there should be some strong support add.ed. The boys there seem to be good athletes and will help out if they become interested in the University Activities. All in all, next year should prove to be a better year sports-
wise. There is a good chance that some better organized interfaculty competition will spring up* On a less happy note it is rather disconcerting to go down to the curling rink on Tuesday night and find only six to twelve participants. Earlier this year a schedule was drawa up of those who signed for curling; but since then it has been given very little support by the enthusiasts, who felt they would like some good fun and exercise. It is true that curling does conflict with bowling but even those who are not doing the latter and have .signed for curling are not coming out. It is also true that the nitwits who have a habit of signing false names to lists have made it impossible to draw up an accurate schedule. However, there was an effort made and these organizers should be rewarded in some way. Let’s get out to the Granite Club if you have signed up. If we are not careful we could lose the ice time to some other organization.
Tuesday night the Waterloo College girls’ basketball team played a close and fast game at London. The score was 40-39 for Western. The first half started ofl slow as the forward line of Joan Rennie, Joan Reesor and Donna Kelly took a little time to gel their plays going. But in spite of this slow start and constant calls of “guarding too close”, the girls fought for a close score and lost by only one point. The second half was actually a victory in plays and score for Waterloo. The close guarding of Dale Perrin, M.arg Steele, Carole Dietrich and Joanne Roberts kept the opposition from scoring and ,kept the ball in the hands of the forward line. High scorer for the game was Kelly with 18 points. The girls had tremendous spirit and really deserved to win the game. A continuation of this type of play should result in a successful season for the team. ’
I?. Ft. Broadfoot
This week, *your roving reporter gathered comments on this topic: “1999 A.D. What is your comment?” Art Pollack: “I hope to be out of Waterloo University.” (There is a possibility, Mr. Pollack, that you may be out much sooner). Al Emerson: “The best brains of science will be devoted to perf ecting superhuman athletes. Scientists will develop 8 foot basketball players, and 300 pound linemen who can run 100 yards in 9 seconds.” (Mr. Emerson has volunteered himself as a subject in these experiments.) Herbert Epp: “The Federal Liberal Party will have completed 37 years of prosperous and intelligent government after winning the 1962 election.” (Mr. Epp is the unbiased president of the Politics Club.) Gary Morton: “In view of the overwhelming victory of the CCF party in the mock parliament held at the University of Toronto, I see a socialist government in the nation’s Capital.” (Mr. Epp and Mr. Morton will duel, with cupcakes at ‘thirty paces.)
John Erb: “Fencing will be the national pastime.” (Sign up for lessons now! See John.) John Horman: “It was a rough year.” (Always look to the future, John.) Martin Onrot: “I am a pessimist, 1999 will definitely mark the end of the twen,tieth century.” (What will happen to Walter Cronkite? ) John Schiel (Honours Psychology) “Psychologists will run the world and we will have a government that is SANE! SANE! SANE!” Larry Cohen: “The world will be divided into four countries which will live peacefully together. They will be called East Russia, West Russia, North Russia and South Russia.” (Thank you, Comrade Cohen.) Charlie ,Tindall: “I predict it. will be a great year for oligopolists.” (So what, Charlie.) Nora Schedler: “I figure my pills should have worked by then.” (Torque Room)
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The Waterloo Mules played host to the league leading Ryerson hockey club January 14, and no out-of-town team could expect m o r e gracious, condescending treatment! We will be very coy and reserve and forget (accidentally) to mention the score. It was considerable! Since the brand of hockey is not noteworthy we will proceed to mention a few of the aside incidents and try to place the actual outcome of the game into oblivion. (I am being paid handsomely by the team to do this) The club’s leading contender for the Golden Gloves Crown, namely Bill Wieller, had another fast work-out in the second period as he won a decision over his Ryerson opponent. The crowd at last had something to cheer about and they gave Bill a standing ovation as the warrior proudly skated to the penalty box in regular Fontinato style, Coach Rafferty was strangely quiet as he mentally calculated the number of goals that Ryerson had scored when the team wasn’t shorthanded. Another amusing incident happened in the third period as a “likeable” chap named Kruzel sroused the wrath of the fans as , he calmly skated to the penalty box waving his stick in ah up and down motion to the booing group of Waterlooins. Needless to say he was telling the group in well ) known sign language just what i he thought of them and where they could go. The crowd screamed their appreciation by noting his most distinguishing characteristic and for the rest of the game “greaseball” was the apple of their eye. Unfortunately greaseball’s head was sandwiched between the boards and Bernie Fransen’s gloves and he made his shaky exit a few minutes before the end of the match. The vocal support of the fans was great and even though they had to look long and hard to find anything to cheer about everybody seemed to have a good night (except the team). Bob Rafferty had one good quote as the team moved out of the dressing room for the final session“OK ladies, ‘let’s go”. ;:
Previous issues of this paper have contained, among other things, articles analysing character by a method known as Grapho-Analysis. After much research and pleasure, (more pleasure than research) Sinbad Brittle and Co. Ltd. have come up with
The stain proves the girl had normal lips; one at the top and one at the bottom. The imprint slopes from right to left; this could mean many things but most important is the fact that her shoulders are pro.bably at the same angle. This could mean she had a paper route as a child or that she carries her wallet, which is loaded, in her left hand pocket, Her mother may have been a Tibetan Sherpa; had our subject been born on a Himalayan mountain side the gradual slope of the stain is explained. Or take the obvious view, the girl was stinko! The outline of the upper lip forms a perfect moustache, proving that this girl was once an active member of the CO.T.C., but the lower outline shows that this moustache sagged miserably during wet weather thereby explaining j why our subject was
forced to resign from the corps The black mark on the lower left hand side seems to suggest that this girl was smoking while osculating, surely an unusual procedure. (This was verified by a check with Jim N. A small concentric burn is visible both in his shirt and in his neck. That he felt no physical pain seems to suggest he was also stinko.)
This column originated psychiatrist’s office.
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How accurate were these guesses? The young lady in question supplied us with the correct information, which is; The Slopethe girl has a broken neck; the contour of the upper lip-her ancestors used crossbows at the third Crusade; the black markinherited from her mother who’ sold hotdogs at Gettysburg, and burnt her lip on a really hot one.
At the general meeting next Sunday, January 31, Newman Club members are giving a Panel Discussion: All Forms of Censorship Should be Abolished. Some very definite views against Censorship have been -stated, so this discussion should prove rather interesting. Questions will be welcomed from the floor. See you Sunday, Newmanites!
character-the whole truth is in their lipstick stains; Below is a reprint of a stain taken from the collar of Jim N.‘s wash-and-dryon-a-hanger-in-thecloset - white shirt; an analysis follows:
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Published on Jun 16, 2009
Margaret Steele, Jim Hales and 5. Conduct yourselves as gen- Mon., Feb. 1 - Augsburg College Choir, Minneapolis, Minn. ( 10 A.M. Stadium 1 T...