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april 14, 2014

Issue 11


this week: prepare to relax... SPECIAL THANKS TO THE GLOBE TEAM



Rosie Marsland

Georgia Angus Evangeline Dowling

Sub-Editors Emma Randles Aleqiu Coeur

Maggie Greenham Alexandre Guérin Larnie Hewat

Design Miguel Lontoc

Photography Jonathan Evans Alexandre Guérin Morgan Nicholson

Everyone’s Mexican Costume at National Night (

Rahul Ingle Sameer Jalees Rosie Marsland Riley Metcalfe Maya Raj Daniel Sia

The Internet Sophie Sievert-Koster

Table of contents Opens Boxing Day / page 3 What Grinds My Gears / page 4 Births, Deaths and Marriages / page 4 The RAs / page 5

Tom Soh

CIR Report / page 6

Vee Vien Tan

Davis Project / page 6

Chris Zhao

Back to the Dreamtime / page 7 A Week Of Chocolate / page 8

The Globe is published weekly by Rosie Marsland on behalf of the International House Student Club. The material here is edited but uncensored and therefore the views expressed here do not reflect those of the editor. Please share your ideas, opinions, ads and skills with us by emailing us at The Globe acknowledges the Wurrundjeri people as the traditional owers of this land. We pay our respects to their elders, past and present.

Mexican National NIght / page 10 Serious Shit You Missed This Week / page 12 Crescent Discovery / page 13 Culture Vulture / page 14 Lemme Know / page 15 Minutes In A Minute/ page 15


International House Globe

NAAUC Conference / page 16

FROM THE EDITOR XI Hola, mis amigos fantásticos, Well, I think we can all agree that the pandas had a messy week this week… But a good one nonetheless! I hope you have all recovered from the events and are ready to face another week of classes! And if not, oh well, you can always catch up over Easter… How is it Easter already? Ohhhh, maaaaann… Anyway, I read something this morning, which perfectly sums up college, and it made me cry a little bit… From Marina Keegan’s “The Opposite of Loneliness”: “It’s not quite love and it’s not quite community; it’s just this feeling that there are people, an abundance of people, who are

in this together. Who are on your team. When the check is paid and you stay at the table. When it’s four a.m. and no one goes to bed. That night with the guitar. That night we can’t remember. That time we did, we went, we saw, we laughed, we felt. The hats.” [The sombreros.] The really heartbreaking part is that Marina died of a car crash at 22, and it’s now 2 years since her death. I would really recommend reading the whole thing, but be prepared with a tissue box at hand if you’re mushy like me, and let’s just appreciate how freakin’ amazing it is to live here amongst all these awesome people. Love y’all :’) Xoxo Rosemary

OPENS BOXING DAY Hey everyone, welcome back, its been quite a week, hasn’t it? At least we have the easter break coming up so everyone can take a breather from the hustle and bustle of IH and uni combined. Congratulations to everyone who was awarded for his or her academic achievement at Scholars dinner. To those who did not receive an award, well…. the food was nice. Hopefully

everyone had a good time dressing fancy and mingling. The little outing people went to afterwards was also a high-spirited event according to many who attended. It’s good to know we all manage to have fun in between all the assignments and mid semester tests. Speaking of fun, how epic was Mexican National Night!!!! The food, the performances, the after-party….WOW! We sincerely hope that everyone enjoyed themselves, and that people woke up the next day, still remembering all that happened last night. A big thank you to Darcy and his team for pulling it off, and a big thank you to Vishnu and his elite team of O-weekers for running a smooth bar with cheap tequila. Hopefully, people understand a little more about the Mexican culture after this. Moving on, our athletics team who managed to have the time of their lives on Saturday and still wake up to take on all the other colleges at 9am the next day! There was running, there was jumping, and there was throwing of weighted objects! What a sight it was, it almost makes me want to exercise. Almost. Well done to everyone who was involved in most activities last week, and good luck with getting through this one.

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WHAT GRINDS MY GEARS Person A is sitting down the end of the table. They eye off the salt, staring them in the face five seats away. Person A knows he has pretty big arms, it looks pretty manageable to be able to lean over and quickly grab the salt. Okay, everyone else is talking, now’s the time. Person A leans over, not far enough. Hitches his leg up over the table to get more length. Nearly there. Knees up on the table. Salt is needed for this fish. Stretching out Superman style now, body length of four seats, one seat to go. Little extra push off the seat and the salt is in his hands! Meanwhile, all conversation on the table has stopped, person B has person A’s hair in his food, the water jug has spilled all over person C and person D is in hysterics over personal space issues. ASK FOR THE SALT, THE NAPKINS, THE WATER TO BE PASSED TO YOU! We don’t need people leaning over us, making a dance on the table around us. Politely ASK for whatever you need to be given to you and it will be got.

Births, Deaths & Marriages By Evie Dowling


Births: The International House Scholar’s Dinner High Table would like to announce the birth of IH’s favourite guest speaker, Professor Barry Hughes. 10/04/14 Drawing parallels between Latin and maths since birth. Deaths: The Mexican National Night Committee and the Bar staff regretfully inform the community of the death of 14 Jose Cuevo Tequilla bottles. 12/04/14 All students at the house mourned this loss and wished they got to know them better in the hour and a half lifetime. Marriages: The Mexican National Night Committee and Students of IH would like to announce the marriage of Vee Vien Tan and Tequila 12/04/14 The two were able to have their wedding dance upon the newly installed slut boxes. Correction. The Mexican National Night Committee and Students of IH would like to announce the divorce between Vee Vien Tan and Tequilla 13/04/14 4

International House Globe

SNAPCHAT OF THE WEEK So the Ormond Bee-head was found impaled on a signpost at Trinity #intercollegiatespirit Keep sending your snapchats to ihglobeyo for your chance for eternal fame!

THE RAs Terrible jokes courtesy of Maggie Greenham, Maya Raj, Georgia Angus, Vee Vien Tan and Daniel Sia What is something tiny that washes up onto a beach? A microwave A dyslexic man walks into a bra Why do seals swim in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze! How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram. What’s Forest Gump’s Facebook password? 1forest1 A woman walks up to a stall at a food fair. Woman: ‘Why is this cake more expensive than your other cakes?’ Stallholder: ‘That’s Madeira cake.’

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Davis Project WRITER: Chris Zhao

We are now less than a month out from LBL and our team now has 13 members! Go team! It’s not too late to join up if you haven’t already.

Hello again IH from the Davis Project team! It’s only been a week but boy, has it been a busy one! I hope everyone enjoyed themselves over MNN and Scholar’s Dinner.

Head to and sign up!

First thing that’s coming through the pipelines for you guys is the Davis Project movie night. Due to be held next week on Thursday, we’re going to be playing the illustrious Australian musical comedy – drama ‘The Sapphires’. *insert much cheering and thunderous, ripe applause*

The Easter break will be a great time to raise awareness amongst your friends and family about the challenge and why you are taking it on. This is such an incredible cause that really makes a difference to the lives of young people living in poverty in Timor-Leste, Cambodia and PNG. Get around it!!

Set in the 1960s during the Vietnam war, ‘The Sapphires’ is about 4 young Indigenous women who are discovered by a talent scout, form a music group of the same name and travel to Vietnam to sing for the troops in the war. Based upon a true story, this will be a great light–hearted way for you to get to know Australia’s Indigenous culture a little better. It’ll be held in the JCR and set to start around 8pm so plenty of time for you lovelies to meander your way down from a delicious catercare dinner. Gold coin donations would be appreciated and in addition to that we will be providing popcorn for 50 cents! Friends! Popcorn! Indigenous Cultural Awareness and Appreciation! So keep an eye out all around college as more and more Davis Project events come together, we’ve got so much more planned for you guys!


International House Globe

Back to the dreamtime By Chris zhao In Indigenous culture, storytelling is an integral part of life for Indigenous Australians. Passed down by word of mouth, from the elders to children, Indigenous ‘dreamtime’ stories explain how the land came to be shaped and inhabited. Gathered around the camp fire in the evening, on an expedition to a favourite waterhole, or at a landmark of special significance, parents or Elders use the stories as the first part of a child’s education. Then, as children grow into young adults, they then take responsibility for passing on the stories to the following generations. In this way, the Stories of the Dreaming have been handed down over thousands of years, since the beginning of time, since the Dreamtime.

How the sun was made and the kookaburra Long ago in the Dreamtime, when the animals were first on the earth, which were very much bigger than they are today, there was a time when there was no sun, only a moon and stars. One day, Dinewan the emu and Brolga the beautiful dancing bird, were out on a large plain arguing and fighting. Brolga got so angry that she ran over to Dinewan’s nest and grabbed one of her large eggs, which she threw up into the sky with all her might. It landed on a heap of firewood breaking, spilling the yellow yolk, which burst into flames. This lit up the whole world below to the astonishment of all the creatures as they had only been used to the semi-darkness and were dazzled by such brightness.

So now. Let me tell you a story. A good spirit who lived in the sky saw how beautiful the earth looked when it was lit up by this blaze. He thought it would be a good thing to make a fire every day, which he has done ever since. All night the good spirit and his helpers collect wood and stack it up. When the stack is nearly big enough, the good spirit sends out the morning star to let them know on earth that the fire will soon be lit. However, the spirits found that sending out the morning star was not enough because those who slept did not see it. The spirits decided they must have a noise made at the dawn of each new day to announce the arrival of the sun, which would wake the sleepers - but what noise. Then one day the spirits heard the laughter of Goo-goor-gaga, the kookaburra ringing through the air. This was the noise the spirits were looking for. They asked Goo-goor-gaga that as the morning star faded and the day dawned, every morning would he laugh his loudest to awaken all the sleepers before sunrise. Goo-goor-gaga agreed and has done so ever since - making the air ring with his early morning laughter.

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Come down to the JJ Holland Park at 8am today to watch IH smash Newman at soccer! Also, if anyone has a car and is willing to give the players a ride, please contact Schmitt!



The girl’s hockey team will be playing against UC at 8am over in Princes Park, so make sure to come along and support them!

CAMPUS COMEDY COMPETITION UMSU Activities is hosting the first Campus Comedy Night of the year tonight from 7pm-9pm in the Members’ Lounge of Union House, do check it out if you are interested.


International House Globe



Come to the JCR tonight at 8pm for the screening of ‘The Sapphires’ to raise funds for the Dais Project. Just bring a 50c donation and your lovely selves!

Chocolate FRIDAY




Happy Good Friday! Don’t forget to stock up on all things chocolate-y.

EASTER NON-TEACHING PERIOD COMMENCES No more uni (temporarily) for Melbourne University students. Enjoy the break and make sure to study hard and catch up on missed lectures (loljks)




19 EASTER SUNDAY 20 MELBOURNE Happy Easter to all!

INTERNATIONAL COMEDY FESTIVAL The Comedy Festival will be on until the 21st of April - make sure to check out what’s happening on the festival website!

LIVE BELOW THE LINE SIGN-UPS AND FUNDRAISING Just a reminder that you can now sign up for LBL online - please speak to Larnie for more information. This is an incredible challenge in so many ways and one that is genuinely helping to change the lives of people living in extreme poverty. Get involved!

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I have now been at IH for almost two and half years, and I’ve had the chance to go to four different National Nights, each more amazing than the previous one. Last night was no exception. For one night and one night only, Darcy and his amazing National Night committee took us all the way to Central America, in the great land of Mexico. As the guests arrived, they were greeted by a dining hall filled with colourful flags, cacti and a wonderful Mexican sunset backdrop. The tables were elegantly decorated with striped table-runners and a very creative mini-sombrero which doubled as a program for the night. A special mention to Bridget for dedicating her time to bring us this elegant atmosphere.


International House Globe

The waiters began by serving virgin margaritas and bowls filled with delicious vegetarian nachos, as entrees. The dining hall has never looked so festive, amidst this sea of sombreros, ponchos, face paint and moustaches (even a few human piñatas). Our lovely MCs did an incredible job hosting the night and introducing the great acts. The salsa dancers were so passionate and gave me chills, whereas the light-hearted tunes played by the newly formed IH mariachi band made me want to get out of my seat and dance. Christy’s heart-warming video sent all the way from Mexico serves as a reminder that the experiences we have here at IH now will last with us even when we’re gone (awwwww).

The highlights of the night would definitely include PC whacking a colourful and authentic piñata filled with lollies, the Macarena flash mob in the middle of the Dining Hall, and the infamous after party. Speaking of which; when it comes to partying hard, IH never disappoints. Tequila (and good times) were flowing, and we went through 14 bottles in under one and half hours (hello hangover). Overall, it is safe to say that everyone at IH had a wonderful night, filled with Mexican madness. I would like to thank once again Darcy and his team for organizing such a delightful night, and I’m definitely looking forward to next semester’s National Night (France, anyone?). Hasta pronto, Alejandro

HIGHLIGHTS OF NATIONAL NIGHT - PC’s violence against poor Señorita Dora Juanita (the Piñata’s name according to Bridget) - Being unable to move in the dining hall without knocking off someone’s sombrero - The ‘performance’ boxes at the after party, which were well utilised by several unnamed people - Tequila, tequila, tequila

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"SERIOUS SHIT YOU MISSED in the time since the last serious shit you missed this week" WRITER: Riley Metcalfe

A week ago, Western Australia went for the polls for the third

cost of the major parties. Labor’s vote was decimated, to a

time in almost a year, as a result of a monumental stuff-up by

historically low 21.9%. Labor only saw one senator elected, Joe

the Australian Electoral Commission. In September, the Senate

Bullock, while Senator Louise Pratt, a great asset to the La-

vote in Western Australia was very close, coming down to a se-

bor Party, looks likely to loose her seat. The Liberals also saw

venteen-vote difference between two candidates. As a result, a

a 5.4% swing against them, although they look set to retain

recount was declared, during the recount, the AEC lost 1,375 Se-

all three Senators elected in September. Overall, is virtually

nate votes. Clearly, this put the result in doubt, as the results were

the same result, in terms of seats, as that in September, and

extremely close. Eventually, in February, the High Court declared

has resulted in a difficult senate for Abbott. Abbott will either

that the only acceptable remedy was a new election, so Western

have to negotiate with Labor, the Greens, or need to get a di-

Australia went to the polls again.

verse group of crossbenchers on side, with diverse ideologies. These include three Palmer senators, a libertarian from NSW,

The winners in the election were the Greens and Palmer. The

Nick Xenophon, and a Democratic Labour Senator. To get his

Greens saw a large swing, coming in reach of out-polling Labor,

flagship legislation passed, including the repeal of the carbon

and saw Senator Scott Ludlam, one of the Senate’s greatest as-

price, the mining tax and paid parental leave, Abbot will need

sets, safely re-elected. The Palmer United Party also saw their can-

to learn the fine art of negotiation, a skill he has sorely lacked

didate, Dio Wang, elected, and also won a large swing (although

in the past.

still relying on preferences for his win.) These swings came at the

Note: In 2013, the first count saw a second Labor senator and a Palmer senator elected, the second count saw a Greens senator and a Sports Party senator elected. The results of the first count are shown in brackets. The 2014 results are based on a provisional distribution of preferences (as of 11pm, 10 April.)


International House Globe


This week in Crescent Discovery, I’m taking you to the biggest (and fanciest?) college ball of the year: Ormond’s Emerald City Ball. After meeting up with a few friends and getting ready as fast as we could, we all headed down to Kensington, to a seemingly abandoned warehouse. After waiting a few minutes outside, in the rain, the Doors of the Emerald City opened up, letting the 900 guests in a massive room illuminated by thousands of candles and green spotlights. As we were walking down the Yellow Brick Road, making our way to the bar, we ran into a few of our Ormond friends, already severely intoxicated. The lines to the two different bars were equally as long, and we waited over 20 minutes to finally get our first drink.

and decided to go “souveniring” (read: steal as much deco as possible). Soon after, I lost my friends in the huge crowd and had to go around and actually talk to Ormondians. I was surprised to find out that they’re not all too bad, and some of them are even quite friendly. At exactly 12 o’clock, the lights went back on in the warehouse and we were expressly asked to leave the venue. I decided to stick with my newly made Ormond friends and go to their “O-wing” afterparty back at college, which turned out to be pretty disappointing to say the least. In summary: most expensive college party I have ever been to. The entertainment was incredible, the boys good-looking, but definitely not worth $90. NEXT WEEK: Is St Mary’s College’s food really the best food on The Crescent? Stay tuned to find out!

The night was fairly boring, until the first band came on stage. They delivered a great performance and got the crowd dancing and jumping around. But they were nothing compared to the second act, Client Liaison. The up-and-coming, 80s revival, Melbourne-based duet wasabsolutely mind-blowing. They played a few originals, such as their latest single Free of Fear, as well as remixes, like the brilliant Rain. They’re definitely worth checking out, if for some reason you haven’t heard of them. After the show, and a little later during the night, we came to the conclusion that we wouldn’t get our $90 worth of drinks,

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CULTURE VULTURE QUADSTOCK: Queen’s college music event WRITER: Alexandre Guérin

More intercollegiate goodness just for you this week! I’m now taking you to Queen’s College for their annual music festival, lovingly named “Quadstock”. The concert was initially supposed to be held in Queen’s massive courtyard, but due to the bad weather they had to quickly move the stage to their dining hall, explaining the rather poor acoustics and sound issues. Nonetheless, I was mind-blown by the dazzling array of talent I witnessed. The evening started with a touching performance of

a few ex-Queeners (or Wyverns), including Jacqui Wortley, Ben Sheen, and the marvellous Brittany Lewis. A few of you (mostly seniors) might know her as Mrs. Lovett in the 2013 Queen’s musical Sweeney Todd or as Reno in the 2012 ICAC musical Anything Goes, and would probably remember how incredible her voice is (her amazing rendition of Love On Top at Battle of Bands last year). Later in the night, our beloved ICAC president Brendan McDougall took on the stage and read one of his poems, a very deep and dramatic piece about our modern society. He was followed by Reuben Jacob, Queen’s very own ICAC representative, and his band: Prince & The Diamond Tits. The crowd went wild during their 30 minutes set, including energetic covers of indie pop songs. Special mention to “Breeze-cock-blocks”, their own version of Alt J’s classic Breezeblocks. A few minutes later, the Queen’s College fresher dance team came on stage to perform their winning dance in front of the whole college, proving once again that you can achieve anything in short skirts. Soon after, the great Benny and the Dukes took on the stage. For those of you who haven’t heard of them, this funky jazz six-piece band from Ormond College received 5/5 ratings on Triple J Unearthed for their first EP back in 2012 and toured Australia as a support for Melbourne soul royalty, the Bamboos. Needless to say they were absolutely brilliant and got the audience dancing to the delightful sound of the sex-ophone (my new favourite instrument.) Overall, it was a very enjoyable evening, proving that Queen’s reputation of being the Artsy College is true, and they sure know how to throw a party. LISTEN TO: Benny and the Dukes self-titled EP.


International House Globe



i’m back readers, wassup “yo Jalees how you even get your buzz up? i heard you got caught under the pressure of the stress, its a mess and you gon get f**ked up!” see, right now there aint much love got assignments and a midsem bout to come up now i’m tryna defy time take a break write some rhymes before they turn around show me pity and go ‘tough luck’! this shit is madness! yeah im back up in this had a smile for a while now i seethe with vengeance never had bad intentions, as my style was defiled i’m looking for ways to reduce the tension i stay amazed at days almost fail to mention they bunch due-dates like idiots to grab attention faculty of business is lacking sense and, economically speaking im lacking cents and since i tore half my lenses like mercedes benz’s, promised new ones are expensive, ive lost my senses, then i almost tore half my lenses sprinting into collision like a tractor engine, in The Spot of bother to the dawn i fend this, you take offense just because i take offensive you know that i play to attack your defence but i dont even really see what youre achieving calling me wack when you cant swim the deep end, shallow lifestyle but your view like Deakin telling me i gotta pay all that extra cash, like i got it stashed, amassed en masse?! and it seems like any organisation with care at the end of their name never seem to really give a shit they dont cater to us, through an appropriate medi-ummm, damn maybe i shouldnt go on record dissing em but the busy life makes me feel like i lost my soul my own homies know that its consumed me whole if youve, got a solution before my hair greys out holla at your boy if you know a way out!

Minutes in a Minute! Of course you all know that the minutes from both the weekly AC and GC meetings are posted on Nexus... But just in case you’re too busy studying (read: can’t be bothered) here’s a condensed version for y’all! 1. NAAUC: Talk started about NAUUC (National Association of Australian University Colleges) conference scholarships, decision of who gets it will be made in Week 8 at GCAC meeting, roughly 3 scholarships available. 2. Soundproofing of the JCR for parties: different options, might come out of Café funds, House will contribute. 3. Election of Satadal Coordinator, Music Night Coordinator and Theme for National Night II: speeches in Week 10 during dinner, online voting. 4. Don’t put receipts for reimbursement in Vee Vien/Sameers’ pigeonholes. 5. Nutella appeal failed, Catercare says that the pesto nuts are different and not as dangerous, widespread misery. 6. Footy game trip planned for Easter break. 7. Songkran postponed to next sem, weather too cold. 8. Ekiden in Week 10. 9. No more subsidies for clubs, they’re getting out of hand with people using Student Club funds for their own hobbies, funds only to be provided from now on for assets. 10. Davis Project events to be held once a fortnight. 11. Free trips to the Planetarium to be organised (Schmitty works there). 12. Subsidy of swimming club for the first 20 people, $2.80 each.

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The annual NAAUC conference. What is it you may ask? Well fellow readers, NAAUC is the National Association of Australian University Colleges and if you look up their facebook page or website it’ll state their lists of goals, two of which are enable communication between college student bodies and to develop professionalism within college student bodies. I’ve picked out these two because they’re two of the best examples of what the conference (held in July) helps do. The conference itself is a weeklong event, hosted in different states every year. Delegates are sent from just about every college in every state around the country. Everyday our activities began at 7:30am and finished at 1am (those who wanted to party on could and did), so think of it as O-week round 2, with three minor differences. The first is that youwill know some people at the conference (the IHers you go with). Secondly, 98% of the people that attend NAAUC are extroverted people and are some of the most involved people in their own respective colleges. For those of you with an interest in power, many colleges send their presidents as well as other members from their Student Committees. The final difference is the conference has a focus on interactive learning. Everyday, representatives attend seminars, discussions and listen to guest speakers. These events all have the aim of helping improve your skills as a potential leader as well as things at your own prospective college and it’s great to hear from other colleges as to what issues they faced and what things that they did differently that worked out well for them. However, once the sun sets the social events begin. The NAAUC leaders put on fun events to give you ideas to bring back to your own college such as parties, a pub crawl and parliamentary debating (don’t knock it until you’ve tried it, it’s a highlight of the week). You remember the paint party back in your O-Week? That is a good example of one event that was brought back from NAAUC. There you go. That time last year, I had the opportunity to fly to Brisbane and attend the annual conference along with Inika, Maggie, Alex G and ex-Activities Officer Austin; and I will tell you that it was one of the best weeks of my college experience. Our accommodation was at Womens College and St Leo’s College, both a part of the University of Queensland. Eat, sleep, learn, rave, repeat was our life for a week and one of the best bits in between our hectic schedule was meeting people. We


International House Globe

made friends from all over the country and learned of some unlikely links (such as meeting Khaya’s friend from Darwin, who now lives at a college in Adelaide) and we even met with IHers from UQ, UNSW and the University of Newcastle. We were given a tour around IH Brisbane and spotted their steel Globe in their courtyard (just like the one here!!) as well as learnt their IH hand symbol, which many of you have picked up. All in all, it was a fun and tiring week. So why does this all concern you? Well not only is it a cool little article for Globe but we are also looking for representatives to attend this year’s NAAUC conference which is being held right here in Melbourne at Queens, St Hilda’s and Ormond College from the 6th – 13th July. We (the Student Club Committee) are providing scholarships for up to 3 people to attend which will cover around 1/3 to 2/3 of the fee of the conference. So here’s the details in short: What: Send a 200 word application on why you want to go to NAAUC and what you hope to get out of the conference to me (Thomas Soh) at Applications are due by the 27th April at 11:59pm (the last day of the break). You must also prepare a 30 second speech to further explain your application which you will have to give at the GCAC meeting on Wednesday April 30th at 9:30pm. Other Information: Both seniors and fresher’s can apply to go to the conference. The only restriction is that the conference is an 18+ event. For further enquiries, feel free to approach Inika, Maggie, Alex or myself to have any questions about the conference answered.

IH Globe Issue 11 - April 14 2014  

Sporty and sax-y IHers!