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the globe

Don’t be an exam zombie! Ollie Gadsden gets his ghoul on for the Halloween party with the help of toilet paper, make up and lots of fake blood!


in this globe p&vp reminisce music night sleep deprivation we read your stars

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IH’s very own Richard “Psy” Tho rocking it out Gangnam Style at Korean National Night last Saturday THE GLOBE XI - October 8 2012

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THE GLOBE XI p3 Letters to the Editor Culture Vulture Vulture Vearing flaps over to IH’s Music Night p4 This Week The SWOTVAC edition of your favourite calendar, now with 200% more High Expectations Asian Father. p5 ILO Report Feature Article: The Nine Stages of Sleep Deprivation IH Song of the Year – as voted by you! p6 Serious shit you missed this year p7 Horror-scopes p8 GOONSTOCK

INTERNATIONAL HOUSE 241 Royal Parade Parkville, VIC, 3052 AUSTRALIA

THE GLOBE is published by Erin Bourne on behalf of the International House Student Club. The material here is edited by uncensored and therefore the views expressed here do not reflect those of the editor. Please share your ideas, your opinions, yours ads and your skills by emailing IHGLOBE@GMAIL.COM.

THE GLOBE acknowledges the Wurundjeri people as the traditional owners of the land on which International House sits. We pay our respects to their elders past and present.

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The Top Two Hello to all! Sadly the year is coming to an end, even more sadly exams are but two weeks away and so this is the final Globe edition of the year. We would just like to say thank you all so much for making this year so awesome and contributing to our 2012 IH lives!! This past week we had Music Night, GM O Weeker auditions and Tread Poker night! Music Night was awesome! It was like IH’s very own private concert, a treat for the ears. It was so good to see so many talented people get up and perform, well done to everyone who partook. O Weeker auditions blew all expectations, or at least ours! Everyone did a great job and we’d like to congratulate our O Weekers 2013. We’re sure it’s going to be an amazing O Week, and consolations to everyone who didn’t make it, don’t let it get you down, you all did so well! So now to a brief recap on an amazing year at IH. We kicked off the year with HerO-Week, the O Weekers welcomed the new freshers with a bang. In a whirlwind of awesomeness they were orientated and ready to tackle the new year IH was to provide. Toga party led us into P Week and the integration of Seniors and Freshers. The past year has been a great year for IH in terms of sports, consistently having quality teams and really good support for every sport. Notable efforts include 2nd place in badminton and guys volleyball, and 3rd place for our boys both in the cricket and in footy!! Congratulations to all our athletes and thank you to all the supporters! Let’s see if we can’t improve on this next year. Our year in ICAC was also very good. It began with a bang, literally, coming 3rd in the Big Bang Fresher Dance Off. Throughout the year our efforts in ICAC has not gone without notice, most notably winning poker and coming second in pool! Support was generally quite good at all the ICAC events, but let’s get behind our participants and show the other colleges what we’re really made of next year! As always, Café did not disappoint. All the work of everyone involved culminated in a truly awesome night, feedback from guests was only positive, with some tables refusing to leave! Well done to everyone that was a part of making it a great night. Ball brought us to the end of Semester 1. Everyone looked incredible and it was definitely a night to remember (or not, depending on how much you enjoyed it)! With the end of 1st semester we sadly said goodbye to much loved exchange students, who will be missed, but this put us in the position of welcoming another new group of IHers. Following the buzz from O Weekend, CIA week was a great week filled with many assassinations and good times ending with Booze Cruise. Everyone, dressed so sea-ready, jumped aboard the boat and danced the night away on the Yarra. Oh Play, all those many hours put in by all those involved resulted in a hilarious and very entertaining “sell-out” show. Everyone did such a good job and the support fellow IHers showed by going to see the show was outstanding! So nearing the end of the year, we must once again say goodbye to many of our friends. To the exchangers, we hope IH made a good home and provided an awesome experience for you to take home. To everyone leaving, it’s been a pleasure to get to know you, we hope your year was as awesome as ours has been, we hope to keep in touch and all the best for next year! For those who are coming back for another great year at IH, it will be sad to see IH slowly empty as everyone returns home, but we can sleep sound knowing we’ll see each other again soon and we will all get to welcome an awesome new bunch of freshers (obviously, not as cool as the present years’ IHers), but still pretty cool. We hope many people keep in touch over the holidays and hope to hear from you all sometime in the near future. Good luck with exams, take care and think about how much you can relax afterwards.

Much love, Mi-Gi and Bri xxx

Editor’s Edict Globe released on a Friday? What is this sorcery? Welcome to our last Globe of the year, as well as my first Globe as editor! We’ve jam-packed it with goodies for you to procrasti-read, such as the above P/VP recap on our fantastic year, Culture Vulture’s glowing review of the very intimate Music Night, IH’s “Song of the Year” is released (hint: op, op, op, op---!) and we bring in some horoscopes for your mystical pleasure. Don’t forget to check out the photos on our IH Globe FaceBook page and have a laugh (and maybe a cry!) at the year’s photographic highlights. Study hard, play hard and have a simmering summer, I can’t wait to hear about all your holiday adventures around the breakfast table next year, maybe over a Globe or two? Hugs and kisses, Erin B THE GLOBE XI - October 16 2012

Culture Vulture Oh hai there! Last Culture Vulture of the year! I have had a blast sharing my morsels and tasty titbits of both high and (more often) not so high culture with you, my fellow IH vultures. To end the year with a bang and not a fizzle let’s get those sophisticated beaks dipped into IH’s very own Music Night! To those of you who have been living on another (non IH) planet for the past week or so, Music Night was last Thursday and it was rather delectable indeed. In spite of the many cries of “how will we all fit in there?” and “last year it was in the dining hall!” the evening took place in the JCR, where not only did people fit; there was an intimate ambiance that would have been lost elsewhere at college. To be honest, it was slightly more comforting as a performer to be performing to a smaller but fuller room. So, the majority of the college cuddled up to one another to enjoy a wide variety of acts and soak up the IH talent, of which there is always plenty. Although all of the acts were fantastic, there are simply too many people to name here so I’ll just delve straight into a few personal highlights. We had high energy rock bands where we got to see Dulana’s guitar face for the very first time (yes I know he played bass but bass guitar face simply does not have the same ring to it)*, saw Joel transform into an Asian Billy Joe Armstrong and were privileged to receive an encore performance of our Battle of the Bands entry. Erin and Raph treated us to some rather quirky original compositions. Did anyone else recognise the riff from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland? The sheer size and epicness of Lindsay’s instrument (does she keep it in her room? It’s massive!) left me thoroughly impressed, not to mention her mad skills! James and Riho’s performance

featuring the Celtic harp (which is also the Guinness logo, isn’t it?) was also an unexpected treat, as was Ronald’s astounding techno composition!

All of the pianists were absolutely beautiful and I especially want to thank Chizuru and Riho for learning our group’s piece lastminute so we could perform Light with accompaniment! You were amazing and Chizuru’s farewell speech and performance with Richard were very touching. In all honesty though, one of my absolute favourites was the Not So Short Guys Performing A Short Song. Totally brilliant. I’m sorry for all of the acts I haven’t mentioned. Just know that you did not go unappreciated! The open mic section at the end of the formal line-up also made for some interesting entertainment. I don’t think anyone could dispute Tom Soh’s position as everyone’s favourite fresher (I know that’s not what his award at Valedicts was actually called but that’s basically what it means) after his crazy drumming performance and everyone was treated to the worldwide sensation P. Sparkles and the other Sluzzatrons. Keep an eye out for their Christmas album. I’ve heard it’s going to be huge! Thanks to Alex Yue for coordinating a fantastic Music Night. Thanks to Celia and Mingkai for emceeing, thanks to Shannon and Tom Soh for the psychedelic backgrounds, lights and for making us all sound great and thanks to Nelson and all the other roadies who helped the night run smoothly. Thanks for reading Culture Vulture this year. Peace out!

*Editor’s note: Bass face Emily! Shoulda said bass face! Emily Vearing

Letters to the Editor The IH Mailbox will be a staple next year, so please feel free to write in about literally anything on campus. Today we have one IHer's meditation on the general sexiness of mixed-race kids to get you thinking about your, er, mating behaviours.

Thinking about mating? Given that we are living in a community of many cultures, I think we should take advantage of this opportunity to improve the human race. How? Increasing genetic diversity of course! Yes! That means mating with other races! Biologically, it is our instinct to procreate and pass on our genes and this instinct is based on how fit we are as an organism within our species. By mixing up your gene pool, let us say with someone from another continent, you create children that are genetically advanced and more fit to pass on their genes when compared to a pure bred. Another benefit: MORE ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE! We all know that Mochas, Hapas or Australasians take the cake in beauty. There may be value in purebreds such as the IH Aussie and Asian cultures, but who knows when the next virus will wipe out your entire race! So, next time you think about mating with someone try another continent. A mix of genetically diverse chemicals might work better than you think, if you know what I mean. Not mating with my race, A future PhD

Fruit Hogs, beware! Today saw the return of the delicious kiwi fruit, however I was rather distressed to see that a number of students piled their pockets high with them, leaving very few to be enjoyed by other IHers. This is not an isolated incident, with greedy fruit hogs often taking all of the bananas, stone fruit (if we are lucky to have them), or strawberries at brunch. Please be considerate and limit the amount that you take so that everyone can have some! Sadly deprived Fruit Lover.

THE GLOBE XI - October 8 2012

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this week

next week

friday oct 26

saturday oct 27

sunday oct 28

8:30pm Goonstock


8:00pm Halloween Movie Night

Don your tie-dye and head down to Goon City for some Magic Punch and psychedelic music. Spread the love!

Head down to the BBQ pit to feed your hangover with free food! Open to all IHers.

Prepare to be scared out of your wits by zombies, ghosts and ghouls! RedFrogs will be there with food and refreshments.

monday oct 29

tuesday oct 30

wednesday oct 31

12:00am SWOTVAC begins



After a semester of partying hard, it’s time to knuckle down and study harder…

Today is International Shop Day! Well, not really, but you should still head down to shop for some delicious study snacks!

On the third day of SWOTVAC, my true love gave to me: 3 hours sleep, 2 baggy eyes, and a bellyful of mi-gi!

thursday nov 1

friday nov 2

saturday nov 3




Studying cramped up in your room is terrible for your health! Study in the tute rooms or Wadham Basement instead! There’s plenty of room!

Take a study break outside to get some fresh air. Unless of course it’s raining. That’s Melbourne’s way of telling you to study some more.

Running out of steam? Let High Expectations Asian Dad motivate you with his disapproval and abuse! (below)

sunday nov 4 12:00am Last Day of SWOTVAC Crunch time is almost upon us! Cram, cram, cram, like your lives depend on it!

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The Nine Stages of Sleep Deprivation Nobody knows quite how to pull an all-nighter like a composer. There's a reason one of the hallmarks of the great composer is wild hair and crazy eyes (think Beethoven), and it just might have something to do with our habit of staying up to the wee hours fiddling with sounds in pursuit of aural happiness. (Another hallmark is syphilis -Schumann contracted it at 21, lived with it all his adult life and then died raving about demons as the disease it attacked his brain- but we don't tend to talk about that one so much). In the spirit of the creative all-nighter, and to prepare you for the inevitable all-nighters you'll be pulling over SWOTVAC and exams, here are the 9 stages of sleep deprivation, unprofessionally concocted from the blissfully un-syphilis-riddled (but highly caffeinated) minds of James Hodson and Erin Bourne during a very sleep-deprived Composition Studies tute. 1. Excitement - about the prospect of staying up, and the task ahead. An initial burst of productiveness accompanies your good mood. 2. Plateau - this stage goes hand in hand with procrastination, lengthy consideration of ideas to the point of nothingness, little actually gets done in this stage but it seems to drag on FOREVER and drains the very soul. 3. Reinvigoriation - usually coffee-induced. You can find this stage at the bottom of your nearest Red Bull can. 4. Exaggerated productivity perception - usually accompanied by flailing gestures which accompany silent-self talk (see also: Schizophrenia) and long, blank stretches of wall-staring that are promptly forgotten. 5. Impaired vision - black spots a common sign that this stage is coming on. 6. Stress - Or in the James' words: "then the fear comes", realisation of the linear nature of time, extreme loathing of former self for previous unproductivity. Common phrases "Why, brain?" "If only I had started earlier..." 7. Temptation to sleep - self-bargaining - "If I sleep now and get up earlier...", potential for sleep high. But remember: sleep = failure. 8. Hallucination - spectres pierce the logic-grappling, black spotted, warping dungeon that is now your mind. Reality bends every which way. 9. Spacetime transcendance - almost a zen mentality, peaceful acceptance accompanied by the feeling that you could very well stay up another 24 hours, if it is 6am (it is and you know it) you accept the sunrise into yourself and begin your day knowing that you have pushed through nine stages of sleep-deprivation to frolick freely in the sunny meadows of success.

ILO report Hello lovely IHers! Check out this column regularly to find out what’s going on around the world, in Melbourne and within IH. What’s happening in Melbourne?

 Food

lovers should check out Taste of Melbourne Festival located in Albert Park from the 15-18th of November. Recuperate from post-exam stress with a smorgasbord of yummy treats from around the globe. Chill in the sun and give those tastebuds a much-needed break from CaterCare by sampling dishes from "a stellar line of Melbourne's best and greatest restaurants and chefs" such as the renowned Spanish Movida Tapas bar, as well as the infamous Pacos Tacos van. For enviro lovers or those moving out next year there will be cooking demos on 'eating and living green' (sustainable eating on a budget). There will even be sensology* experts! What a career! Other treats include an Italian outdoor cafe with authentic Italian pizza and San Pellegrino cocktails, Malaysian cooking classes and food stalls, wine tasting, Rekordelig cocktail bar, an actual dessert bar for the non-drinkers, and cocktail mixing classes (learn the rare art of disguising goon)! Entry does cost $25, but at the end of a long uni year, you deserve to indulge! To book tickets call 132849, or visit for a full menu of events.

 The Melbourne’s Cup will be held on the th

6 of November. It is Australia's major thoroughbred horse race. Marketed as "the race that stops a nation", it is a 3,200 metre race for threeyear-olds and over. Conducted by the Victoria Racing Club on the Flemington Racecourse in Melbourne, the event starts at 3pm. International students should definitely check it out, as it is a big part of the Australian culture.

Song of the Year! (As Chosen By You) Gangnam Style PSY Call Me Maybe Carly Rae Jepsen What Makes You Beautiful BoyTrain


My Heart Will Go On P’Sparkles and the Sluzzatron


After Midnight Blink 182 Bumpin In My Trunk The Offspring Spectrum Florence & The Machine


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Upcoming ILO events

 Get

excited for the very last event of the year: Halloween Movie Night! Come celebrate Halloween with your friends in the JCR, share some popcorns and snacks while enjoying a selection of horror movies. We will be scaring IHers and screening our very own Tom Seah’s movie Doctors, filmed in IH! So come down to the JCR on Sunday the 28th after dinner!

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Serious Shit You Missed This Year Politically, 2012 can only be described as a year of drama and sandals. In February, Kevin Rudd challenged for the Labor leadership, losing decisively to Julia Gillard. Fortunately for Gillard, this has banished much of the leadership speculation. Following this, Mark Arbib, a Labor powerbroker resigned, allowing Bob Carr to take up a Senate seat, and become Minister for Foreign Affairs – apparently a lifelong aspiration of Carr’s. There’s been the ongoing scandal over Craig Thompson – a former Labor MP who is alleged to have misused union funds to buy prostitutes. He resigned from the Parliamentary Labor party and currently sits on the crossbench, an investigation into the allegations is ongoing, and promises to bring up more drama for the ALP in the New Year. Peter Slipper – the former Speaker of the House of Representatives, was also the source of a major scandal, after he was accused of sexually harassing a male staffer. Slipper resigned from the House this month – mere hours after a vote of no confidence against him was defeated. More substantially, this year also saw the introduction of the carbon price, the introduction of plain packaging laws, following a High Court decision in August and Australia unexpectedly gaining a seat on the UN Security Council. Humanity continued to premiere1 as the Arab Spring spread throughout the Middle East. Civil war continues in Syria, with an end to the war seeming a long way off, especially as the United Nations appears unwilling to get involved. The year also saw a change in government in Yemen, as the President resigned as a result of protests. 2012 also saw the release of the incredibly controversial film The Innocence of Muslims, which sparked protests across the globe – including in Sydney. Possibly the most notorious reaction was an attack by an Islamic militia on the US Embassy in Benghazi, Libya, which killed four people, including the US Ambassador (the eighth American ambassador to be killed in office.) It later was discovered that the attack was a premeditated terrorist attack, on the eleventh anniversary of the September 11 attacks. The attack was quickly condemned by the Libyan government and massive demonstrations against the militias responsible followed. The year also saw the continuation of the late-2000’s recession, and the continuation of a debt crisis around the globe. Perhaps the most notorious casualty was debt-ridden Greece, which had two elections this year. Continued instability in Greece has led to much speculation that Greece would be the first country to exit the Eurozone, causing yet more market instability. The European sovereign debt crisis has been the source of much turmoil and unease, in both Europe and globally, especially as many fear that yet more countries could still default on their debts. It has presented the first major challenge for the new, unified European Union, and will continue to make news as European countries face their debts. Scientifically, this year saw the second (and last,) transit of Venus for a century and the landing of the Curiosity rover on Mars, with a large amount of media attention. It also was the year in which the Higgs boson was discovered, finally validating the Standard Model of Particle Physics. It also validated the many billions of dollars thrown into the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland. Barack Obama and Mitt Romney have also been in a heated battle for election as President of the United States, although (spoiler alert,) Obama currently seems set to win. Romney arose victorious from a wide field in the Republican primaries that included people as diverse as Michelle Bachmann (very stupid,) Rick Santorum (extremely socially conservative,) Ron Paul and Gary Johnson (libertarians,) and Newt Gingrich. The campaign has become more competitive recently – especially after Romney’s stellar performance in the first debate, but according to most polls, Obama will be re-elected – on a tight margin – for a second term. Riley Metcalfe

Riley gets up close and personal with Julia Gillard, confirming his status as IH’s number 1 political insider!* *Editor’s note: An 11th hour deal was struck with hard-working and hard-talking Mr Metcalfe to allow this photo to be printed in the IH Globe. This photo is a reward for his exemplary punctuality and dedication to the Globe throughout the year. Also that is a lovely hat.

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Horror-scopes – What to expect when you’re expecting SWOTVAC Aries - Some may say timing is everything. With Saturn’s moons lined up in perfect formation your time is now. Embrace life like never before! Work hard play hard is your motto for SWOTVAC however beware, that one cheeky cider too many could be through the cosmos off balance and you will find yourself wondering why, WHY?!?!?!?!?! Taurus - You are a Bull. Strong minded and stubborn. But remember, you aren’t always right so check out one of IH’s numerous tute rooms once in a while, you never know who you might find there... ;) Your drink of the month is Red Bull, to help you power through those late night study sessions! Gemini - Being naturally musically talented, the most effective way for Geminis to study is to lay down some fully sick beats to help you learn your course content. The IH music rooms provide the perfect space for this and when Jupiter falls in line with Mars in the middle of SWOTVAC you will find the melodies most luscious. Cancer - LOOK OUT! Straight H1s coming at ya! Let’s face it. Born in the middle of the year with Mars as your power planet you don’t need to study?! Make sure you persuade all your friends (especially if they’re Libra) to party hard with you. However, actually lol jks, no howevers, ifs and buts for you! With Venus shining her love down on you, everything will go your way. Libra - You are the balanced scales of the stars. During SWOTVAC you should probably add a few more weights to your social side. I mean really, no one really studies in SWOTVAC do they?

Pisces - Karma Karma Karma Chameleon... hang, sorry, was just harmonising with your Gemini buddies. But seriously, you have some bad ju-ju in your presence. With Venus the planet of forgiveness at full strength, now is the perfect time to apologize to anyone who you have wronged. Clean that slate before you start studying and remember its never... “...♪ tooooo late to apologise ♪...” Leo - Stop being such a worry wart! If you work hard (and by hard I mean study every once in a while) you will be fine! You will be assisted by the strength of the crescent moon whose light will help you to see the path ahead clearly once the rain has gone.

Capricorn - With exams looming I strongly suggest you avoid ladders, black cats and alpacas otherwise you may be in for a nasty surprise. That is all. Aquarius - Whaddup AQUArius? With a word like AQUA in your sign it can only mean one thing.... Stay Hydrated! All those coffees and energy drinks may keep you buzzing all night but they will leave you like a fish out of water if consumed in large quantities (more than 50 a day). Remember, there’s nothing like a nice, big juicy glass of H20 to keep you functioning like a normal person! Scorpio - Parts of your life have been neglected, namely your study. With the full moon rising you will feel its lunar pull luring you to party. However, you must resist this temptress or face the wrath of an awful exam period. Saggitarius - Procrastinating is not second nature to you, it’s first. During your SWOTVAC you will find yourself procrastagaming, procrastabaking, procrastawalking, procrastanapping and procrastabeardgrowing. This is a lot of activities to fit into SWOTVAC, just remember take it easy. Virgo - With Neptune’s cooling glow shining upon you a strange sense of calmness and peace will guide you through SWOTVAC. Be sure to share this strange power with your friends (especially those cray cray Taureans!) otherwise you will find yourself becoming lethargic and face the potential risk of sleeping through all of SWOTVAC! THE GLOBE XI - October 8 2012

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editor Erin Bourne

photo editor Tom Seah

design team Felix Modlmayr Darcy Richardson

contributors James Hodson Erin Bourne

THE GLOBE XI - October 8 2012

regulars Alex GuĂŠrin Emily Vearing Riley Metcalfe Horoscope Hoe Darcy Richardson

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Globe XI - Issue 3a  
Globe XI - Issue 3a  

Hallowe'en Edition!