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Monday May 7th 2012

Issue 14

IH comes 2nd in intercollegiate rowing! but with hunks like these, who really needs first place?


Globe Team Editor Stephanie Rogers Design Shannon Boland Fiona Robertson

page 5

page 4

College Town Life

Money and More Funny Stuff

page 6 Feature: Rowing

Also: Drinks of the Week Culture Vulture International House Student Club More funny stuff!

Regulars Erin Bourne Rebecca Dutton Riley Metcalfe Jonathan Regan-Beasley Marina Saunders Peng Tiong Emily Vearing

The University of Melbourne

IHSC Distillations of the week starting Monday 7 th May 2012 Issue Description Interim Male Sports Election will be held at 9.30pm on Wednesday! Representative ICAC Musical Opening night is on Wednesday... Last night on Saturday! Panda Cup Futsal! 7.45pm Tuesday, 10th of May 2012 Men s Soccer Tuesday Morning, 8am against Hilda s! International House Cultural Committee Mondays at 6pm in the JCR 241 Royal Parade Meetings Parkville, VIC 3052 Student Club AC: 9.30pm Monday @CDR AUSTRALIA Committee Meetings GC: 9.30pm Wednesday @CDR More on Sports... Listen out to Gemma Kenna & Phil Tan on facebook! For a more detailed report of the IHSC matters, please read the GC or AC minutes. GC and AC minutes can be found on Nexus.

THE GLOBE is published weekly by Stephanie Rogers on behalf of the International House Student Club. The material here is edited but uncensored and therefore the views expressed here do not reflect those of the editor. Please share your ideas, your opinions, your ads and your skills with us by emailing us at IHGLOBE@GMAIL.COM THE GLOBE acknowledges the Wurundjeri people as the traditional owners of this land. We pay our respects to their elders past and present. Š 2012 The Globe. All rights reserved.


THE GLOBE: May 7 2012

the top two Wow... what a week! It’s a mix of emotions among the IHers as Café has come to an end… The past few weeks have been hectic, but nothing compared to this week. All throughout the week, it had been a mad rush to finish off all the finishing touches to what was to be an entertaining and extremely successful night. The amount of time and effort many people put into Café really paid off on both the Preview night and the actual night!! From the deco crew (amazing job Kelly!) to the sound crew (well done Tom!), Café really highlighted the abilities of many of our fellow IHers. Welcoming all the very important people were our very own famous celebrities, including Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, John Trovolta and Elvis Presley!


The quality of the acts were spectacular with a mix of performances including hip hop/hybrid dancing, couples dancing, ballet, ukulele and singing! But last but not least, without Kate and Shannon, Café would not have been possible and we owe them a huge round of applause and congratulations on such a successful night!!! On behalf of everyone I think I can say that it turned out perfectly and there wasn’t a single person who left the dining room on both nights who wasn’t simply amazed. Café on Saturday night however didn’t just end with that. We also owe Austin a thank you for a very eventful after-party! The after-party truly allowed all the hard working members of Café to finally let loose and make the most of the night themselves! Having taken up a majority of our day and night, now we’re left with a load of work to catch up on…. Oh joy! Among the busy preparations for Café, at 6:55 on Saturday morning, 30 IH supporters went down to Yarra River to cheer on our fittest IHers! Even though we may not have won, considering many were first time rowers, avoiding the bridges was a huge achievement! Well done rowers! You still made us proud! After having lost to Trinity on Monday morning, the boy’s soccer team played against UC on Friday morning. With a few accidents here and there, the IH boys still managed to show UC what IH is capable of. Smashing UC, 2-0, the boy’s will be playing again on Tuesday this week! Keep up the great work everybody! (And don’t forget that slowly but surely exams are creeping up on us…)

editor's edict Hey Everyone! Like always, the past week has been a busy one, with the boys defeating UC in soccer (oh yeah), Cafe rehearsals and people painting and decorating at all hours of the night for Cafe decorations. Everyone’s hard work definitely paid off, as EVERYONE seemed to be having a great time on Saturday night, both during Cafe and at the after party ;)

Steph rogers Rowing was a great success on Saturday morning..Coming a close 2nd as well as successfully attempting to kill every other college’s mascot, a good morning was had by all. SPECIAL in this issue only...Peng Tiong’s piece on Arts funding! Kinda scary for those of us who do Arts... :/ Until next time! find us online, on your iPhone or on your iPad at:

.com/IHGlobe or

.com/IHGlobe THE GLOBE: May 7 2012


columns College Town Life: The five dance moves that will NEVER be okay You’re at a party having a great time until you spot that pathetic party-goer who’s dancing a little too embarrassingly for their own good. Don’t get me wrong, with a little (or a lot) of alcohol in the system, my self-consciousness while dancing goes way down, right along with my standards. But come ON…sometimes it’s just too much. It can get so annoying that you’re actually distracted by it, or worse: Dancing Queen over here is the kid that wants to dance with YOU. Maybe it’s the creepy kid who sneaks up behind you or it could be that sloppy girl who’s trying to seduce you with her “provocative” moves. Regardless, here are five dance moves that make me want to cut my wrists rather than the rug.

‘Hump and Grind’ I know that the initial few moments on the dance floor when you’re trying to get in sync with the other person can be awkward, but usually you two eventually figure it out…USUALLY. There’s always that one who just doesn’t understand the concept of moving their body to the beat blaring out of the speakers. Instead of keeping in rhythm with you, they seem to feel like violent hip thrusts are the better, sexier way to go. They are sadly mistaken. As your hips move side to side, theirs continue to move front to back, creating the most frustrating situation as they smash into you, and most likely ruining this awesome dance remix of “Ni**as in Paris”. This is the part where you give the red flag signal for any friend standing nearby to save you, and then you run… run far away. Thank God for the thin layer of fabric you had between the two of you, or a pregnancy test might have to have been your next purchase. Tiny Dancer To all the shorties out there, I’m sorry, but the truth hurts. Guys: if you’re shorter than a girl who’s a potential dancing parter, just save yourself the humiliation. There are few things more annoying than trying to dance with a guy who is significantly shorter than you are. We know we need to get the hell out of there if there is any question in our mind of whether or not we are grinding with your chest. And unless we’re looking for an extreme thigh work-out, dancing face-to-face is no picnic either. No one is having fun, let’s be real. And Girls who are unreasonably short: why don’t you stick to dancing with guys who share your height deficit? Honestly, how does a six foot (or above) guy even dance with someone who barely comes up to his waistline? WHERE DOES HE EVEN PUT HIS HANDS?! No wonder Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphreys had so many problems. Blackout Boogie There’s always that one girl who is just way too drunk. It never fails. From the start of the party, she’s been telling everyone she encounters about how many tequila shots she did with her rooommate and how ssssshe’sss sssoOoOo jjjrunk righnow. If you thought the tequila shot tally was high, wait until you hear the number of guys she’s hooked up with already tonight. It’s only a matter of time before she’s on the dance floor, swaying back and forth with her eyes half closed, attempting to sing along, but getting interrupted by frequent hiccup attacks. This show may include the removal of one or more articles of her clothing, and it will probably end up happening on a platform that is significantly higher than the dance floor such as a bar, table or couch. You might think that she deserves some props for going harder than anyone else at the party, but trust me, get away from this accident-waiting-to-happen while you still have the chance. If you’re anywhere within a ten foot radius of her circus act, you’re in the splash zone. Save yourself.


THE GLOBE: May 7 2012

funny stuff Hey look! It’s Seal on a Rock!

Scarier than being home alone.

columns Money and More

with Jonathan Regan-Beasley This week, I’ve decided to move a little bit away from the very serious, national-stage issues I usually tackle in order to bring some attention to something a little closer to home. As some of you might know, but many would still be unaware, the Commonwealth Government passed legislation for the Student Services and Amenities Fee (SSAF). The SSAF will be first levied at every university student in 2012, with most universities (Including the University of Melbourne and RMIT University) charging the full rate of $263 per year. The SSAF is effectively a replacement for Compulsory Student Unionism legislation which was abolished in 2006 under the previous Howard Government. So what does this mean for you? If you’re enrolled as a full time student a public university, you have to pay $263 in addition to the fees you’re already paying. However, if you’re an Australian Citizen, you’re allowed to add it on to your HECS debt, and pay it back under the same conditions. If you’re an international student, you won’t get such an option, however given you’re already paying a good $20,000 or more for your education each year, an extra $263 probably won’t break the bank. So in terms of what it means for your bottom line, the answer is not a whole lot. However, a university such as the University of Melbourne with 49,000 students can expect a rather effective windfall - Over $12 million to be precise. A lot of this funding will be going to organisations such as the Student Union – organisations which are disengaged by a vast majority of the student population. What you might not know is that while you’re disengaged, there are a small minority of students who are using the funding currently provided by the University to make a nice little lifestyle, buying massive supplies of beer and food and running student parties which are effectively closed off to a vast majority of the student population. So this week, my message to you is very simple. At a time like this, with a vast majority of this $12 million windfall going towards student organisations, there has never been a better time to become involved in these organisations and hold YOUR supposed “representatives” to account. Make it clear that these individuals need to find something productive to do with their time, and that it is simply unacceptable to live off YOUR hard earned money. If your money is going to these guys whether you like it or not, you might as well make the most of it!

THE GLOBE: May 7 2012


feature: ih brings home 2nd place The wintery sun shone brightly down on the few IHers who had braved the 7am chill to come support our guys and girls on the banks of the Yarra River last Saturday. Although ultimately unsuccessful in defeating the lesser colleges of the Crescent, our teams still gave their all, even coming in second behind Queens! Sadly, the haven of clearly pro-steroid users (otherwise known as Ormond) took every title. But never fear, IHers, because the IH Panda took immense pleasure in pummelling the life out of the hideous, grotesquely shaped bumblebee that is the Ormond mascot (along with any other mascot willing to fight. Although, sadly, most other mascots seemed intent on friendly hugs... Tussles aside, a great morning was had by all, and a massive well done to the guys and girls who took part! IH IH IH!!!


THE GLOBE: May 7 2012

THE GLOBE: May 7 2012


columns Culture Vulture with Emily Vearing

The Lucky One For starters, I would like to make it clear that this is not the kind of movie I would generally watch of my own accord but I agreed to go and see it with a friend. I’m glad I did. I wouldn’t call it movie of the year. Not even close but it was a lovely way to spend an afternoon. The film is directed by Scott Hicks and is based on the Nicholas Sparks novel, of the same name. It stars a very grown-up Zac Efron as Logan, an ex-US marine and Taylor Schilling as Beth, a single mother whose beloved brother was killed in the war in Iraq. At first, I found it completely weird and not quite right to see Efron, in camouflage, wielding a gun and using army jargon. It was a big leap from his teen-heartthrob ‘High School Musical’ days and it didn’t sit that well with me. However, when he returns home and uncomfortably settles back into civilian life, he is much so much more believable. One thing that slightly irritated me though, was the fact that his character seemed to be good at everything. He worked wonderfully with animals, could fix tractors and boats, was musical, was great with children, studied philosophy and the list goes on and on and on. No character is that perfect, especially when they’re already really, really, ridiculously good looking. Seriously, who invents perfect characters and expects audiences to swallow it? Schiller’s character, Beth, is slightly more believable. In spite of being beautiful, clever, hard working and a loving mother, she has character flaws. She is suffering from the immense grief of losing her brother in the war as well as from being pinned down in a power struggle against Keith (Jay R. Ferguson), the father of her son, Ben (Riley Thomas Stewart). One aspect of the film that I really enjoyed was the chemistry between the characters, all of them. From the passionate relationship of Beth and Logan, to the bullying/unresolved relationship issues between Keith and Beth, and the two contrasting male role model relationships that Ben has both with his father and with Logan, they all interact brilliantly. I also love the sweltering, hazy, humid beauty of the Louisiana, where most of the movie is set. Nature adds so much ambiance to this movie. I’m not going to lie. The sex scenes in this movie aren’t bad either. If it is possible to strike a balance between steamy and tasteful, ‘The Lucky One’ probably has it. Although my favourite moment is actually when a drunken Keith pulls out a handgun on Logan in the street and Logan disarms him like nobody’s business. Phwoar, what a man!


THE GLOBE: May 7 2012

Why the change Zac!??

columns Serious S#*% You Missed this Week with Riley Metcalfe

funny stuff

An international dispute has arisen about Chinese dissident Chen Guangcheng. Guangcheng, a civil rights activist on behalf of the poor, escaped from house arrest and sought security in the US Embassy, seeking protection from China. The case has caused deterioration in relations between the two powers, with China seeking America’s assurance that they will not interfere in domestic Chinese affairs again. An agreement has been reached to allow Guangcheng and his family release from house arrest, and permission to study in America. Julia Gillard’s government is under continued siege this week, as fallout from accusations against Peter Slipper, and the accusations against Craig Emerson. Slipper was stood down by Gillard as damage control against accusations that he had misused taxpayer money and was involved in a gay sex scandal (Slipper was also the legal officer for the conservative Traditional Anglican Communion.) Meanwhile, Thompson has been accused of misusing the funds of the Health Services Union to pay for prostitutes. He has suspended his membership in the Labour Party, and is now an independent, meaning, that for the first time the Government and the Opposition both have 71 seats in the House of Representatives. Thompson will, however, guarantee supply for the government. This has been a bad week for Gillard, with current opinion polls putting the Coalition at an 11-year high. There has even been continued leadership speculation, although there is no obvious candidate to replace her (except Rudd, who lacks support in the caucus.) It does not appear that the Coalition will get out of this affair unbloodied, however, with it becoming clearer in the minds of many people that Slipper, a former Liberal MP, was Interesting fact: Mathematicians never die - they only protected while in power, this scandal being revenge lose some of their functions. for his decision to abandon the Coalition. The Greens have announced the replacement for What keeps a square from moving? retiring Senator (and leader,) Bob Brown. The reA: Square roots. placement is economist Peter Whish-Wilson. He What do you call a starving parrot? is a former economics lecturer at the University of A: Polynomial Tasmania, and has worked for investment bankWhat do you call a dead parrot? ers. This will be a savvy move by the Greens, who A: Polygon face criticism over their lack of economic credentials. The second round of the 2012 French presidential What do you get when you cross an elephant with a mountain climber? election will be held on Sunday French time. The inA: You can’t. He’s a scalar. cumbent President, Nicolas Sarkozy is set to lose to his socialist rival, François Hollande. It will be interesting to see what effect this has on the European Union, especially as Hollande, a socialist, will inevitably have conflicts with German chancellor Angela Merkel. THE GLOBE: May 7 2012

HA HA - with Peng Tiong


Drinks of the week

because two is always better than one!

Were you wondering what that delicious tasting concoction you paid $4 for on Saturday night was? Or perhaps you couldn’t taste it through your tequila soaked haze of confusion...Either way, the Shannon and the Kate are two drinks destined to tickle your tastebuds!



1 shot Kahlua 1 shot Vodka Splash of Coke

1/3 Non Alcoholic Champagne (reddish coloured) 2/3 Vegetable hot and spicy juice



damnnnn TASTY! :S

Verdict: Both definitely have their perks (vegetable juice is..healthy... whilst concentrated amounts of vodka and kahlua can be good for retaining knowledge perhaps (?) THE GLOBE: April 16 2012

THE THEGLOBE: GLOBE:March May 75 2012

11 10

Arts degrees deemed worthless By Peng Tiong

A recent one-day seminar at the University of Melbourne explored the issue of public funding distributions for various degrees. Speaker Andrew Norton who is the director of the Grattan Institute for higher education program brought about a very interesting point of how students who study humanities and arts were not earning as much after graduation. While I know jokes have gone around about how “arts degrees are more useful as toilet paper�, research into salary rates actually show that students graduating from an arts degree earn less than year 12 graduates on average. Alarming? Yes, of course- but even more alarming is what he recommends in light of this data: public funding be reduced or cut for students taking these degrees! Why? Because they are not contributing as much to society. While I am not an Arts or Humanities student myself, I am absolutely alarmed by both this bold assertion as well as the fact that he is being taken seriously. Here comes my rebuttal: Mr. Norton is an economist. All he thinks about is money. While Arts students contribute less to tax, it does not mean they contribute any less to society. In considering the worth of a graduate, we should step away from the narrow-minded approach of looking only at economics and take into account the social and cultural influences they bring. (In economics, this is called a positive externality.) It is very necessary to have people who understand philosophy, literature, history, social ethics, and similar subjects- because it makes for a more tolerant and well-rooted society. The very fact that students are being discouraged from undertaking a degree in Arts because it is seen as useless and decreases opportunities for employment should actually be an argument for why they should be subsidized more! (Economics: intervention to reduce deadweight loss) It should be a wake up call for us as a society to reconsider our priorities that we are even valuing this form of knowledge any less than a Biomed, Science, Commerce, or Environments degree, as reflected by the lower salaries. Perhaps occupations such as nutritionists, physicists, marketers, mathematicians, and architects are important- but where would we be without philosophers, teachers, scholars, and thinkers? What’s really scary is that there are strong proponents for the funding cuts, not just here locally, but throughout the US and the UK. This is our university, and our future as a society which is on the line, dear reader- and I implore you to consider this issue. Would society really be richer if we cut funding to studies in Arts and Humanities? Original Article: http://www.


THE GLOBE: May 7 2012


GET INTO IT PEOPLE!!! Featuring the dulcet tones and fabulous moves of our very own IHers!!! Come support them! 9 - 12 May 2012 5.30pm (Wed & Sat) / 7.30pm (Thu & Fri) Union House Theatre Get your tickets at:


THE GLOBE: May 7 2012

Edition 14  

Rowing special

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