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Monday September 3rd 2012

Issue 21


with NEW** ASK THE GENIUSES feat. Dr Dre and Dr Kyle


Globe Team Editor Stephanie Rogers

page 4 - New** ask the geniuses! Page 5 - Country of the stop Ireland! Page 6 - Meet the candidates!

Regulars Peng Tiong Rebecca Dutton Emily Vearing Madi Nicholson Dr Kyle O’Neil Dr Alexandre Guerin Riley Metcalfe Jon Regan Susie Tindall Marina Saunders

Page 11 - Memes & Columns

International House Student Club The University of Melbourne

IHSC Distillations of the week starting Monday 3rd September 2012 Issue

Description Wednesday, 5 September 2012 in the Constance Duncan Room. Food Forum Voice your opinions about Catercare Food! This Sunday, 9th September 2012. If you are running for a position, send in your nomination form Annual General OR If you are unable to come for a legitimate reason, send in your Meeting (AGM) apology, to Aldi Oosterman! Student Club Listen out on facebook for AC time Committee Meetings GC 9.30pm Wednesday @CDR For a more detailed report of the IHSC matters, please read the GC or AC minutes. GC and AC minutes can be found on Nexus. th

International House 241 Royal Parade Parkville, VIC 3052 AUSTRALIA

THE GLOBE is published weekly by Stephanie Rogers on behalf of the International House Student Club. The material here is edited but uncensored and therefore the views expressed here do not reflect those of the editor. Please share your ideas, your opinions, your ads and your skills with us by emailing us at IHGLOBE@GMAIL.COM THE GLOBE acknowledges the Wurundjeri people as the traditional owners of this land. We pay our respects to their elders past and present. Š 2012 The Globe. All rights reserved.


THE GLOBE: September 3 2012

the top two It’s that time of the year again, when the IHSCC start wrapping up their business and preparing to hand over their posts to some capable new students. It’s just one week until AGM and we would just like to say what a fantastic time we have had over the past 12 months. It hasn’t always been


easy, and lots of important lessons have been learnt. We invite you anyone interested in joining the student club committee to come and speak to us, listen in at AC on Monday night, or our final GC on Wednesday night. It is crucial that you know about the positions, roles and responsibilities before running at AGM. Serious stuff aside, head down to the sports stadium for girls and guys volleyball at 7.10 Monday morning. We’d love to see you all there. We hope you have all had a lovely weekend hanging out in the sun! Happy Spring!

editor's edict

Steph rogers

Hey everyone! This weeks edition of the Globe is jam packed with everything from wacky facts about Ireland (and some just plain weird ones), melbourne memes to make you laugh as well as some profiles

of potential candidates running this AGM...also we have a hilarious new column, ask the geniuses! Enjoy! find us online, on your iPhone or on your iPad at:

.com/IHGlobe or

.com/IHGlobe THE GLOBE: September 3 2012


New**ask the geniuses Introducing IH’s new resident doctors, Dr Kyle and Dr Dre...on hand to give you all the medical (and lifestyle) help you need..

Dr Dre. Help me PreMed BioMeds!

Dr Kyle.

I can’t stop singing the lyrics or Carly Rae Jepson’s ‘Call Me Maybe’. I can’t sleep, can’t eat and can’t bear to go out in public. What’s wrong with me? How can I fix it? Here’s my number (0400000000), so call me maybe? ‘Hey! I just met you, and this is crazy!’ You need to move on. That song was soooo last week. I would suggest trying out her new song, with Owl City ‘Good Times’, and ‘you don’t even have to try, it’s always a good time’ ;) I’ve got a problem PreMed BioMeds! Last week while playing Ultimate Frisbee, I went for the winning toss and I think I broke my wrist as I released the disk. What should I do now? You sure do have a problem. Ultimate Frisbee is a ridiculous sport. No one should ever be involved in such a mundane and foolish sort of “sport”. You should be ashamed and I strongly suggest you find some new hobbies to entertain yourself with. As for your wrist, perhaps you should go to your nearest clinical physician. PreMed BioMeds; I have recently discovered a large lump on the right side of my neck. It has been getting consistently bigger and is starting to really hurt. I have been struggling to sleep for the past two weeks and I have lost a lot of weight. What’s wrong with me? Worried Wendy Ahh, A tricky problem, we often encounter. Thank goodness this isn’t happening to us. You seem to be growing a disgusting goiter. Go to a doctor and get it cut out. Alternatively, you could introduce more Iodine into your diet, and the problem should resolve itself. XOXO Drs Kyle and Dre THE GLOBE: September 3 2012



By Madi Nicholson

This week... IRELAND! Anyone for irresistibly cute accents and Guinness…? Ireland is a mystical island perched on the northwest tip of Europe and just full of amazing landscapes and scenic wonders. Here are just a few weird and wacky facts for your Monday morning enjoyment... - The longest place name in Ireland is Muckanaghederdauhaulia. - An Irish birthday tradition is to lift the birthday child upside down and bump their head gently a few times on the floor for good luck. The number of bumps equals the corresponding age plus one. - A strange traditional Irish hangover cure was to be buried up to the neck in moist river sand. - “Pogue Mahone” translates into “kiss my a** in Gaelic” - Until the 1920’s on St Brigid’s Day (February 1st) in Teltown, County Meath, couples could legally marry by simply walking towards each other. If the marriage should then fail, the next year on the same day the couple could return to the same spot and divorce by walking away from each other. - Medieval laws in Ireland allowed a man to divorce his wife if she damaged his honour through infidelity, thieving or “making a mess of everything”. And to finish off, some Irish Proverbs to get you thinking! “The three sharpest eyes are a blacksmith on a nail, a priest on his parish and a young girl on a boy.” “What butter and whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for.” “May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.” .. THE GLOBE: September 3 2012


meet your candidates! Here are just a few words from some of the IHers running for positions next week.. Good luck!

RAHUL INGLE Hello, denizens of IH. I am Rahul Ingle. Correction, I am THE Rahul Ingle. The one that works in the shadows, which is why you don’t know me. However, a situation has arisen that forces me to step into the light. It has been prophecised, that a new general member is needed for the general committee. I am willing to take on this quest, to bring a new dawn to IH, where orange juice is sweet, not sour. Where bacon, is edible, and milo is not an item only heard of in legends. I promise not to be batman, and disappear mid-conversation (but I still think he’s super cool). However, I need the support of the panda-loving residents of IH before I can embark on this mission. I need you..... [Insert creepy face]


Hey IHers! This is Daniel and this year I will be running for Cultural Coordinator 2012!! If you are wondering why, then I should tell you now! IH is a place where difference is valued and every country that is represented is celebrated, and one way to do this is by having what we call National Nights and Cultural dinners. I really enjoyed celebrating the South African culture last semester and am really looking forward to Korean night in a few weeks time!! But just being one of the audience doesn’t satisfy me, I would really like to contribute even more; not just as a performer, not just as a committee head, but as a Cultural Coordinator! During my time in IH, I took part in the waiting and clean-up team for South African night, performed in Café, did decoration for German cultural dinner and am the head of Food Committee, plus I am also organising a performance for the upcoming Korean National Night. I am confident that I’ve got what it takes and have familiarised myself with the organising and the running of these events, so now I think it is time for me to level up and aim for the head coordinator! I would really appreciate your support in the looming AGM that is going to strike next week , so please vote for me! J And don’t forget MARTIAL ARTS CLUB THIS SATURDAY 4:00 – 5:30!!! and disappear mid-conversation (but I still think he’s super cool). However, I need the support of the panda-loving residents of IH before I can embark on this mission. I need you..... [Insert creepy face] Vote Rahul....2012-13 (Winter is Coming, well not really...and I will rise)


THE GLOBE: September 3 2012

AFIF WHYKES Hello IH, my name is Afif Whykes and with AGM just around the corner, I’ve decided to take this quick opportunity to shamelessly self-promote myself like a real politician. You may also know me as the White Rabbit from play (which you all went to see, right?), the guy that watches ALL of the IH sports, Ash Ketchum from Mr IH, one of the guys who shaved his head for a cure, Buick 2.0 or Tom Soh’s other half. But really, I just want you guys to know how much I love living at IH which is exactly why I want to run for student club and help contribute to this wonderful community we call home.


Good morning/evening/whatever time of the day you’re reading this, fellow IHers. So AGM is coming up this week and it’s time to put something out to you all so you at the very least know my name by the time I go up and make a speech this Sunday. Well my name is Tom Soh *insert random word here* and I am going to be running for the position of Activities Officer. Yes that’s right. I’m aiming to be the next boss. Now you may know me as the light/sound guy from events such as South African National Night, Café and Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (Simpsons reference anyone?) or as just the general helping hand at events and parties like foam party and LAN party (yes it counts as a party). Hopefully this shows that I am constantly engaged in the events that go on around IH and I can tell you it’s not because I have a 10 hour Uni week and just happen to have a lot of free time on my hands (I actually have an 18 hour Uni week and lots of free time), but it’s because I love being involved here at IH and believe that being on Student Club as the next AO would be a great next step up from just helping with events to organising my own and helping all those organised by the Activities Committee. Now I’ll leave the rest for Sunday but until then just remember Tom Soh…Tom Soh…Tom… (Just imagine my voice fading out)

ALEXANDRE GUERIN Hi everyone! For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Alexandre (but most people call me Dre… thanks to Sita! hehe). I am running for the International Liaison Officer position: as an overseas student who lived in Asia for a big part of my life, I think I would be a good ILO, and a good representative of the international student community in IH. I’ve been ‘stalking’ Matilda, the current ILO, for a few months now, and I like everything about her position. I have a lot of ideas for events and fun activities for the end of the semester and next year! So if you want to know more about my plan or just want to get to know me, do not hesitate and come talk to me!

THE GLOBE: September 3 2012



Now this is the story all about how My life got flipped, turned upside down And I’d like to take a minute just sit right there I’ll tell you how I’d wanna be the Pres up in here In the USA, born and raised Never thought there was somewhere quite like this place Whether it’s off to Puggs, just relaxing all cool Or auditioning for O-Week lookin’ like a fool Nobody can deny it, this place is pretty good Hands down the best college in the 3OH52 hood Running parties, chatting up admin, the Boss is prepared To make IH better than your most alluring love affair ;) So many nationalities, IHers come from here and there Our license plate says “2 EZ” and we’re culturally aware If anything I’ve got the experience to give this place a boost So I thought move out, forget it, yo momma…loose! I pulled up to AC and GC every week without a waiver And yelled to my committee, “Yo homes, all in favour?” Look at this kingdom, inescapable as a spouse, To sit on my throne, as the Pres of IHouse. Sorry if that was cringe-worthy, but I thought I’d break up the text! In all seriousness though, I’m organized, I’ve got tons of experience (been on AC and GC, chaired AC as AO, was CC in first year), a great relationship with our admin, and I have BIG ideas for what to do in my year as prez (e.g. restructuring the SCC, spending our reserve funds on an internal investment project, erecting a permanent bar). Most of all, I LOVE this community; I want everyone to get the most out of their time here. Though I know I could never single-handedly understand all the issues we face as a community, I reassure you that, as President, I’d do my best to keep an open-mind and seek out those with bigger brains than myself to reach a solution that works for everyone. Stay gorgeous!


Hey everyone! For those that don’t know me, I’m Madi and if there’s anything you should know about me; it’s that I.LOVE.FOOD. Seriously. Eating is one of life’s greatest pleasures that I take full advantage of. I enjoying sharing my love of food and if there’s one thing I’m passionate about, it’s that all my fellow IHers get the full culinary benefit that Cater Care has to offer. We want crispy, salty hashbrowns, fresh, nutritious bircher museli, delicious high table rolls smothered in actual butter and most of all CHOCOLATE RIPPLE CAKE! I understand the need for good food IH, you can count on me for that. So vote for Madi for General Member and your wildest (culinary) dreams will become a reality.


THE GLOBE: September 3 2012


Hey IH. As you can probably guess from the title, I’m running for Treasurer. I really want this position because I want to ensure you that our money is safe and used effectively. I know that this position requires a significant effort and I’m happy to undertake this and go beyond just the position description. I would love to increases funding towards new stuff around IH so that everyone always has something to keep them entertained. I promise to continue Nhat’s legacy of giving out tons of funding as well as pie charts at GMs. Remember IH, money can’t buy you everything, but if I become treasurer, it can. This is my claim for fame. Remember Kane. . STEPHANIE ROGERS

Hey IH! Soooo I’m running for ICAC rep this Sunday. For the sole reason that I believe IH is freaking awesome, and every other college NEEDS to know this...kidding I’m also totally into intercollegiate love etc etc...but really I think everyone needs to know how great we really are ;) (sneakily infiltrating Ormond and Trinity from the inside on open day only confimed this truth) Seriously though, I think I would make a great ICAC rep since I LOVE socialising with other colleges, I think its super important that IH keeps up to date with whats happening on the other side aka the crescent, and that we continue to get involved with lots of intercollegiat-ey events like pool, debating etc...I also have big plans for some inter collegiate socialising of the hydrating variety...e.g. let’s take advantage of Ormond’s HUGE...courtyard?! Plus I’m organised etc...but really I want to put IH on the map where we belong!! :)

There ya go everyone!! Just a few of the IHers running next week. It’s definitely going to be an interesting Sunday! See you all at GM! THE GLOBE: September 3 2012


columns Serious S#*% You Missed this Week with Riley Metcalfe

Five Australian soldiers died in Afghanistan in a 24hour period this week. Three were shot by rouge Afghan solider, and another two died in a helicopter crash. The names of the three soldiers killed in the attack by a rouge Afghan soldier were released by the ADF on Saturday night, two of them were under the age of 25. Seven Australians have now died in attacks by Afghan soldiers, a trend which experts fear may rise. Australian soldiers are currently hunting for the Afghan soldier responsible for the attack, but it is likely that he will never be found. The attack has again raised discussion about Australia’s role in Afghanistan and the length of our stay, with independent MP Andrew Wilkie accusing Julia Gillard of having ‘blood on her hands.’ The 2012 Republican National Convention was held in Florida this week. Republicans formally nominated Mitt Romney for President and Paul Ryan for Vice-Present. Both wooed the crowd with speeches. Ryan, a deeply conservative fan of Ayn Rand attacked Obama for not just being a bad president – but also an un-American one. This looks to be a central theme of the Republican campaign. Romney also hit the right notes – a relief for him, as engaging the hard-right base of the Republican Party will be a challenge for Romney, as he is typically a pragmatic moderate. The convention was also treated to speeches from Condoleezza Rice and a bizarre speech from Clint Eastwood, who addressed a pretend Obama in an empty chair next to him. The manufacturer of thalidomide, Grunenthal, has finally apologised for distributing the teratogenic drug – after 50 years. The company also revealed a statue of a thalidomide child at its headquarters in Germany. This comes after, in July, a 50-year cover up was unveiled, showing that the company knew of several red flags at the time, but covered them up. Victims of the drug have criticised the apology as being half-hearted, and too little, far too late. Finally, the UMSU elections are this week. Although I will not endorse anyone here, I will encourage everyone to go out and vote (and then you’ll be able to truthfully tell the people outside the Baillieu Library that you’ve already voted.) The student union elections have more effect on the campus then most people realise. In the interests of transparency, I will note here that Now and Stand Up are both affiliated with mainstream political parties – Now with the Liberal Party and the right wing of the Labor Party, and Stand Up with the left wing of the Labor Party. Left Action is affiliated with the Socialist Alternative. The other tickets are not affiliated a formal THE GLOBE:with April 16 2012 political party.


palm oil free products!

The list of palm oil free products this week is all about keeping squeaky clean, staying fresh and buying responsibly. We all buy soaps and shampoos on a regular basis. It's a kind of consumerism that is pretty difficult to avoid. The best we can do (short of making our own soap) is try to use the products that are kindest to our orangutan friends. Love, IH Environments Committee. Soaps / shampoos / beauty products / toiletries

Aldi soaps Bar SoapSoaps (biscuit latte, lavender, charcoal irish stout, champagne & roses)** Beauty & the BeesSoaps, moisturisers, ChikiiChikii ambrosial soap, chikii Dindi NaturalsSoaps Peace of Soap shop/peaceofsoapcompany Pompadour Soaps (& candles)www. Organic Formulations Riddells Creek toothpasteFrom selected health food stores / online shops THE GLOBE: THE GLOBE: September March 53 2012

11 10

some melbourne memes...

Susie’s useless facts! By Susie Tindall

-All but one scene of Beauty and the Beast was animated using the same technology used in Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, made 54 years earlier. - The table manner of not resting your elbows comes from a time when the table top was not connected properly to the legs. Resting your elbows would cause the table to collapse. - Low fives were famous before high fives, mostly between African Americans. The high five became more famous after a football coach began using it in the 1980’s. - The lowest grossing Harry Potter film still made more than the highest grossing Twilight film. - Firefox is the most used browser in Antarctica. - There are an estimated 19,763 Starbucks around the world. - Cocaine was removed from the Coca-Cola recipe in 1903. - The images of the moonlanding in 1969 came from the Parkes telescope, right here in Australia. - The dot over the letter ‘i’ is called a tittle. - 7-11 BYO Cup Day is coming up this Wednesday. In the words of Simon Tulloch, get around it! THE GLOBE: September 3 2012



with Peng tiong

Why did the complex tree fall over? Because it had no real roots. Why was the mathematician stopped at an American airport? He was believed to have connections to the Al-Gebra network ..


THE GLOBE: September 3 2012

columns Jon forces his political opinion onto International House

By Jon Regan-Beasley Let’s have a chat about respect here at International House. I have a copy of the most recent IH Globe open in front of me and I’m reading Bec Dutton’s article on the values of International House. I must say that I could not agree with her more. We live in an amazing, diverse environment, surrounded by people from all sorts of religions, ethnic groups, linguistic groups and so on and so forth. As I write this column from my perch on High Table, I can see the flags of thirty-eight sovereign nation-states, including everything from the superpowers of the United States and China to the sometimes-forgotten but wonderful micronations of Brunei, Singapore and Mauritius. There aren’t too many places in the world where this kind of diversity could be found, and it’s truly something to value and protect. But of course, with such diversity comes diversity in views and beliefs. As Bec so beautifully puts, we must respect our differences, and we must respect the fact that the belief sets of some are fundamentally different to those of ourselves. But I do not believe – and cannot for a moment accept – that ignoring our differences and putting to shame those who are willing to discuss our question the beliefs of others is in any way a scenario of ‘respect’. Far too many times, when I’ve heard someone have their beliefs questioned in a non-aggressive, respectful manner, the party being questioned will demand that the questioner must ‘respect (her or his) beliefs’, implying that these beliefs should not be questioned. Let me make this very clear. Ignoring differences does not constitute respect. We have a fantastic opportunity to learn more about each other here. It might make you uncomfortable to be put in a situation where your underlying beliefs are challenged. But by engaging in conversation, and even challenging your own beliefs, you’ll come out with a more educated and better justified understanding of the issues in question and the world in general. And that, in my view, is what we’re all trying to achieve here in University. So the next time someone questions your views on, say, the rights of marmosets to swing from rooftops, don’t ignore them, yell at them or tell them to ‘respect my beliefs’. Have a chat to them. Tell them your side of the story and listen to theirs. At the end of the day, the both of you will be better off for it. And maybe the marmoset will be too.

New Globe 21!  
New Globe 21!  

New column, totally awesome