INDIANA DAILY STUDENT
sexy? Read page 12 Then think again
How I really lost my virginity
The Tips, trips & STDs
like youâ€™ve never seen before
THE SEX ISSUE [ What’s Inside ]
features 12 Body Language
Sexualized images are everywhere. But what are they really saying? A reported essay answers the question.
16 Who will you pick up? This ain’t your father’s STD lesson. An INside twist on health class gets personal with a parasite and his friends.
18 Meet ‘Professor Porn’ Don’t tell Bryant Paul there’s no room for “Backseat Bangers 3” in the classroom. Some lessons learned studying smut.
departments Editor’s Letter 5 Ms. Know-it-all 4
Real-life stories of the first time: “I had no idea what to expect.”
We turn the tables on Kinsey’s own queen of questions.
The Tip Jar
Special extended section 22
Improve your sex life with bananas and Donna Summer. We tell you how.
Spoof Magazine’s lost issue. Satire anyone?
5 nearby destinations for you and yours to seek out this spring.
Vol. 1 • Issue 3
Cover photograph by Joel Hernandez www.idsnews.com/inside
t, he would swear on his testicles. In ancient Rome, when a man testified in cour
Special Thanks I always feel guilty that my image is the only source of connection between you, the readers, and us, the producers. Not only because such a fine product deserves a more attractive spokesperson, but because so many other talented people truly bring these pages to life. This is far from everybody, but here are three individuals who deserve special recognition for their efforts on The Sex Issue.
Joel Hernandez, senior in the bachelor of fine arts program Joel is the talented photographer responsible for the images you see on the cover and with the story “Body Language” (page 12). For a story that’s all about the images we see, he set the perfect tone with photos that are incredibly sexy but still in good taste. Michelle Manchir, senior studying journalism and gender studies “Body Language” (page 12) is the story Michelle was destined to write. Her two greatest academic passions are journalism and gender studies, and, in this case, those two worlds collided. We’re just happy to have the story first - before she writes a book on the topic. Nate Bethea, senior studying journalism and French To be blunt, Nate is a lifesaver. He’s contributed to INside in each of the past two issues, but nothing like this. Nate illustrated Ms. Know-it-all (page 5), Spoof Magazine (page 22), and, after another illustrator went M.I.A., he drew the entire spread for “Who will you pick up?” (page 16) – on one day’s notice.
Letter from the Editor Sex can mean a lot of things to a lot of diﬀerent people. It can mean male or female, and it can mean commercials at 4 a.m. It represents products, people, lifestyles, and everyday decisions. Some deﬁne it as making out; others might prefer doggy-style in the library stacks. Regardless of what it means to whom, the fact of the matter is that college students see sex everywhere. We’re all constantly inundated with ads, images, and loud-mouth friends talking about how to get it, where to get it, and ways to get more of it. There is no way to avoid the barrage of sex on a college campus, but there is a way to avoid confusion. Sex is just a word, a concept. What’s real are the repercussions. Babies are real. Diseases are real. Hatred is real. And unfortunately, those are the realities far too prevalent when it comes to sex — not two foreign exchange students jumping your nuts like an Axe commercial might suggest. Our very ﬁrst step toward building this issue was a huge brainstorming session (an orgy of ideas, if you will) where we simply wrote the word “sex” on a board and asked everyone to start naming other aspects of life directly related to that single word. The results were more than 100 strong, as everything from Facebook to religion to Tony Danza seemed — in some way — correlated to doing the dirty deed. We quickly discovered that it would be impossible to cover all our bases, but we were going to do our damnedest toward trying. That’s why the forthcoming pages address issues concerning condoms, chlamydia, mainstream media, romantic rendezvous, gender, losing
your virginity, keeping your virginity, homosexuals, heterosexuals, sex toys, stupid boys, masturbation, ejaculation, H.P.V., and asparagus – yes, asparagus (see page 7). And you know what, we still didn’t cover the half of it. What it boils down to is that whenever you try and tackle something as overwhelming and prevalent as sex (especially on a college campus), you’ll never cover it all. But then again, who would want a sex issue where everything is covered up anyway? Certainly not me, and thus, pages 12 through 15. So after lots of tireless nights and a few too many dirty jokes, all we ask is that you enjoy the issue and maybe try to learn something along the way. Just please, for the sake of the person next to you in lecture, keep your pants on.
– Brian Janosch, Editor QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, GLOWING PRAISE? E-MAIL THE EDITOR AT INSIDE@IDSNEWS.COM
INside magazine, a new enterprise of the Office of Student Media, Indiana University at Bloomington, will be published twice each academic semester: October and November, and February and April. INside will operate as a self-supporting enterprise within the broader scope of the Indiana Daily Student. INside magazine operates as a designated public forum, and reader comments and contributions are welcome. Normally, the INside editor will be responsible for final content decisions, with the IDS editor in chief involved in rare instances.
Vol. # 1 Issue 3 © 2007
All editorial and advertising content are subject to our policies, rates and procedures. Readers are entitled to a single copy of this magazine. The taking of multiple copies of this publication may constitute theft of IU property and is subject to prosecution.
Brian Janosch, INside Editor Joanna Borns, INside Features Editor Jordan David, INside Art Director Kelsey Peters, INside Associate Editor Carrie Ritchie, INside Associate Editor Allie Townsend, INside Associate Editor Nancy Comiskey, INside Adviser
Kacie Foster, Editor in Chief Trevor Brown & Chris Freiberg, Managing Editors Rachel Silverman, Art Director David Adams, IU Student Media Director Susan Elkins, Asst. Dir./Business Ruth Witmer, Editorial Adviser Rebekah Spivey, Support Service Dir. Tony Sams, Editorial Adv./Production Director Sam Nissen, News Production Manager Malinda Aston, Tech. & Web Service Adviser Jeff Soper, Technology Systems Mgr. Nikkilharish Balchandani & Sheetal Narayanan, Web Tech Specialists
Amy Swain, Asst. Director/Advertising Susan McGlocklin, Asst. Advertising Director Emma Danskin, Kelly Jannasch & Lucas White, Advertising Sales Managers Rachel Knoble, Asst. Director/Operations Greg Menkedick, Creative Director Casey Bjustrom, Caroline Hackman & Jennifer Ripberger, Creative Managers Rob Bock, Marketing Manager Matt Paral, Distribution Manager Alex Frazer & Serhiy Vernei, Advertising/Marketing Webmasters Kathy Baker, Happenings Calendar Coordinator
Newsroom: (812) 855-0760 • Business Office: (812) 855-0763 • Fax: (812) 855-8009 • www.idsnews.com/inside 4 • INside
THE SEX ISSUE
What stumps a sexpert?
Debby Herbenick o of Kinsey Confidential gave INside her most puzzling questions about our generation’s sexual behavior. Ms. Know-it-all polls 100 students for the answers. ti DH: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT USING CONDOMS DURING SEX?
DH: WHAT DO YOU WANT MOST FROM A RELATIONSHIP?
MS. K: While I found that most male students surveyed agreed with the “better safe than sorry” attitude in regards to condom use, some were more likely to wear a seat belt while driving in a parking lot than cover their love sticks during sex. The overwhelming response: “It’s way better without them.” One junior thought contraception should actually be a female’s responsibility, saying that the pill was much more eﬀective anyway. (You Pig.) But did the women agree? Sorry boys, but the majority of IU girls surveyed will give no love without the glove, the only exception being in long-term relationships (with an appropriate dose of the birth control pill). Hook ups or new bed buddies, however, are wrapped in more rubber than Gumby. “Always use a condom. I would rather go out of the way for two minutes than get a disease forever,” said one sophomore. Hmm, smart girl. I’m assuming you’ll never have a hassle with any of the buggers on page 16.
MS. K: It seems students are seeking Lassie-like levels of trust and loyalty from their partners but with slightly less body hair. One guy even said he wanted to connect intellectually. To that person: I think I’m in love. Knowitall@idsnews. com – don’t be shy. But pushing the sarcasm aside for a minute (okay, 30 seconds), you were all pretty sentimental in what you wanted from a potential signiﬁcant other. And it was sweet. Even the guy who said “rough sex” listed trust and reliability ﬁrst. Note: To the guy who answered this question with “a pony,” you’re sick. DH: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MASTURBATION FOR MEN AND WOMEN? MS. K: An overwhelming number of male answers: “Hell yes,” “fantastic,” and “twice since I started this survey.” No surprises there. On the ﬂip side, hidden under the piles of porn and hand lotion, I found an undiscovered group of sexually
conservative men willing to step up as a minority against an abundance of selfpleasure. One brave senior said that too much of a good thing could be dangerous and become a serious addiction when mixed with porn. And boys, I’m sure that your frequent daydreams will proﬁt because the girls, too, were surprisingly pro self-pleasure. Most thought it was normal and natural for both sexes, as well as a sexual boost for women who know what can work for them. One put it this way, “It’s an awesome way to get in touch with your sexuality so you don’t have to rely on someone else for pleasure.” Wake up guys, you’re starting to drool. Although a few females were opposed to the act on a personal level, they still felt it was completely acceptable. DH: DO YOU ASK YOUR PARTNERS IF THEY HAVE BEEN TESTED FOR, OR HAVE, AN STD/STI? MS. K: Aside from a good handful of the students surveyed, most feel awkward asking about a partner’s sexual
history until after the deed is already done. One sophomore said she didn’t want to oﬀend anyone so she avoided asking all together unless the relationship turned serious. Furthermore, most students said they would almost never ask a stranger because it would ruin the alcohol-induced romance. So why all the awkwardness about asking a partner where they’ve been? Isn’t it awkward enough to get naked with someone you hardly know? One freshman said that they never feel the need to ask if they use a condom. Unfortunately, it seems like some of you don’t like to use them. I did receive one suggestion that might not be a bad idea. “I have a history form my partner has to ﬁll out beforehand. I usually make sure I have something to read so it’s not awkward.” Hmm, I like it. And as one female put it, “STDs aren’t a good gift – though they keep on giving.” Kids, chlamydia is never a good way to say I love you. Never. NEED AN ANSWER? SEND A QUESTION, ANY QUESTION, TO NOITALL@IDSNEWS.COM
. It’s illegal in Newcastle, Wyo., to have sex in a butcher shop’s meat freezer
INside • 5
THE SEX ISSUE
S T A E R T E R C I 5 ROMANT ONE TANK OF GAS,
THERE AND BACK – WE PROMISE
1 2 5 3 4
EXOTIC FELINE RESCUE CENTER
Location: Center Point (45 min. from campus) The Goods: Put a whole new mea ning to a tiger in the bedroom. The Exotic Feline Res cue Center spans more than 100 acres and is home to almost 200 big cats. What’s cooler is that they let people spend the night. Guests rece ive their own entrance to the facility, access to the Center afterhours, and a VIP tour. But plan ahea d because reservations are required . Price: $120 per night Contact: 812-835-1130
INA & MARpus SORTfro INDS RE FOUR W m cam ) . min (20 e nro Mo e Lak :
Location a new place to rock the The Goods: Looking for sort and Marina on Lake boat? The Four Winds Re ans to take advantage of Monroe offers all the me of e resort rents out boats Indiana’s largest lake. Th all r afte and – to pontoon all sizes – from paddle h a professional Swedish wit that rowing, loosen up your water chlorinated, massage. If you prefer l and hot tub. there is also an indoor poo Price: $80 per night Contact: 800-824-2628
Graham crackers were inv ented 6 • INside
K RESORT & CASINO FRENCH LIC ch Lick (90 min. from campus) Location: Fren taking your The Goods: Take a gamble by Lick Resort ch Fren . sweetheart somewhere new houses and and Casino is freshly revamped and tennis an extensive casino, an indoor pool Be sure to courts, plus a variety of restaurants. se, shops, cour golf check out the riding stables, all located are bowling alley, salon, and spa that to gamble. on-site. Remember, you must be 21 s Price: $140 weekdays, $200 weekend Contact: 800-457-4042
Location: Brown Co FARM CABINS unty (25 min. from ca mpus) The Goods: The fur ther you get from so ciety the closer you can ge t to each other. That’ s the allure of Fondulac Fa rm Cabins. Hidden in Br ow n County, this getaway can be as active or ina ctiv e as you want. Go hik ing and ice skating, or just soak in the hot tub. A fan of double, even triple dates? Take friends. The largest cabin sle ep s six. Price: $90-$175 per couple, per night. Tw o-n igh t minimum stay reque sted. Contact: 812-988-47 96
to suppress sexual desire .
Location: Story (45 min. from campus) The Goods: Increased heart rate. Sweaty palms. Chills all over. There are a few ways to have those experiences here. The quaint resort has 100 years of history, including ghost rumors. The Inn’s restaurant has been rated one of Indiana’s best, and all guests receive a complimentary bottle of wine. Whether you’re feeling frisky or frightened, the Story Inn is sure to get your blood flowing. Price: $108-$225 per night Contact: 800-881-1183
for Go to idsnews.com/inside s. directions and more photo
THE SEX ISSUE
The pill is daily, the patch is weekly, the ring is monthly, and the shot is only four times per year. The shield, FemCap, and diaphragm are inserted vaginally before intercourse. Implanon is a new contraceptive that is implanted into a woman’s arm and lasts up to three years. Even longer-lasting is the IUD (Intrauterine Device), which can last up to 12 years. A new birth control injection for men called RISUG (Reversible Inhibition of
Sperm Under Guidance) could be effective for 10 years, but it’s not on the market yet. Condoms increase your odds of having safer sex, but you have to use them correctly. A study on condom use conducted by the Kinsey Institute and Emory University showed that 61 percent of men who participated didn’t check condom expiration dates and 30 percent put the condom on upside down.
MAKE A SEXY SOUNDTRACK Robert Potter, director of the Institute for Communications Research at IU, found that sexually suggestive song lyrics trigger signs of arousal – but not necessarily sexual arousal. Many songs sound sexy because of simple production techniques, Potter says. INXS created an intimate sound by singing closely into the mic for “Need You Tonight.” Madonna did something similar in “Justify My Love,” creating a breathy orgasmic sound. Potter also did unpublished studies suggesting faster tempo music is more likely to arouse a person than silence. Or you can take rock ’n’ roll professor Andy Hollinden’s advice: “Just listen to Donna Summer’s ‘Love to Love you Baby,’ the extended version.”
DEFINITELY NOT CHILD’S PLAY
YOUR CONTRACEPTIVE OF CHOICE
Add these ingredients to your sex life
FOOD FOR THE SEXUAL APPETITE Some foods are believed to be aphrodisiacs because their shapes stimulate thoughts of sexual organs – foods like bananas, oysters, asparagus, and avocadoes (a word that literally translates to “testicles”). Chocolate, apples, tomatoes, almonds, and cheese contain phenylethylamine – a chemical that some say stimulates the same hormones as lovemaking. Asparagus and bananas contain high levels of vitamin B and potassium, necessary elements of sex hormone production. The FDA says no food has actually been proven to boost sexual arousal, and aphrodisiacs only work as placebos.
Julie Phillips, a salesperson at Priscilla’s adult gift and lingerie store on West Third Street, says “the Rabbit” is the most popular sex toy. “It’s the latest, greatest sex toy that everyone wants,” she says. Popularized by “Sex and the City,” the Rabbit Habit (or the similar, Rabbit Pearl) is a vibrator with pearls that rotate within the shaft, while outside, the
rabbit ears flutter at the clitoris. Phillips also suggests vibrating cock rings to help men stay erect longer. Three out of every four women can’t orgasm from intercourse alone, according to Dr. Domeena Renshaw, author of “Seven Weeks to Better Sex.” Sex toys can improve your sex life – even if it’s sex for one.
A zoo in Thailand used footage of pandas having sex to encourage their pandas to mate.
INside • 7
THE SEX ISSUE
8 • INside
It’s not all like
the movies First-time sex
is portrayed as glamorous, picturesque, meaningful, romantic, or even the
ultimate sexual milestone,
but the act itself doesn’t always live up to the hype. Students reveal the personal details of their first sexual experiences.
The names aren’t important.
The accounts come from different sexes and different sexual orientations,
one thing in common
but each story has — losing it wasn’t exactly what everyone expected. wasn’t curious about how sex would feel until junior year of high school, when I was 16. It seemed so wrong and terrible because I grew up Catholic. At that point in my life, I was so curious because I knew what felt good down below. Thinking about how sex is supposed to feel – it’s supposed to feel good. You don’t really think that there would be pain involved. I didn’t really know much about the anatomy of my body at the time. The guy I ﬁrst had sex with moved to my high school during my sophomore year. I had kind of been dating him on and oﬀ. We always liked each other, but he played around with a lot of women. I know he ﬂirted a lot, but I really liked him, and he always seemed to like me above all of them. I don’t ever think I really had a relationship with him. I just had ﬂeeting moments with him. Little high school romances. He played football. I was a cheerleader. Oh my gosh, way back in the day. I really liked him. He was so... not conniving, but he could convince you that you were important. [ Photographs by Kelsey Peters - Illustration by Jordan David ]
During an orgasm, only one out of 10 women ejaculate. INside • 9
THE SEX ISSUE
When it happened, my curfew was at 6 p.m. I was on probation. There’s a big story behind that. I overdosed on Vicodin, and I had to go to the hospital, but I took those drugs at school. I got suspended from school for 15 days and had to go to court. House arrest was a part of it. I went over to his place knowing I would have to be home by 6 p.m., but I just wanted to see him and hang out. It happened then. We were just hanging out around his house. We went up to his room, and we started kissing. I was on the bed, and my jeans came oﬀ. Not by me – he pulled my jeans oﬀ. I didn’t want it to happen, but I also did. The whole time I was saying, “I don’t know about this.” I think he said, “It’ll be OK,” or something like that. I remember the pair of underpants I was wearing. They were snakeskin print. Then he was on me, and those came oﬀ. And I thought, “Oh, I can’t believe this.” And he was naked. I wanted it to happen. My curiosity and my sexual desire completely overruled the consequences. I wanted to feel the experience. I wanted to be pleasured. I wanted to have sex. I was really scared, too. I was scared of what it was going to feel like. I guess I wasn’t thinking beyond that point. I’m kind of emotional and irrational. I do what I feel more than I think about doing what I feel. He left his socks on. How ridiculous looking is that? I remember he was on top of me, and I looked down and thought, “You’re still wearing your socks!” That’s not romantic. That’s like, “Eww.” It was really warm. I remember how warm he was and how warm that area was. He started to put it in, and there was resistance, and it hurt. It really hurt. He took it out. He went and got a condom. Then he came back and slid it in really slowly, and then all of a sudden I had tears in my eyes because it was hurting so much. I don’t know. I didn’t hear anything. I feel like it should make a snapping noise. It didn’t hurt as much after that. My body was just getting used to how it felt. It felt weird, like something was in me that’s never been in there before. And then he went to town.
He was doing it slowly. I think it was nice that he wasn’t like, “Ram!” He was really gentle about it. He held my head. It was kind of romantic the way he did. I wasn’t feeling any pleasure. I just sat there. I was just under him, and I didn’t know what to do. I had never had sex before. I never thought about positions or what I would do while doing it. I just wanted it to be good, and then, oh, hey, orgasm — that’s sex. And it wasn’t like that. I remember towards the end I was trying to get into it more. I didn’t orgasm. He got oﬀ. It was maybe two minutes. I kind of felt numb after that. I felt ashamed of that ﬁrst time. It didn’t feel the way Hollywood makes it feel. It was not what I expected at all. It was a complete let down. I wish I could take it back. I wish it was with somebody that I loved more. The guy I was with had de-virginized so many other girls. When we were done, I had to go because of my curfew. I went into my car and just cried for three solid minutes. – As told to Joanna Borns met him online. We had just gotten a new computer at my house, which I had begun using to enter gay chat rooms. When I ﬁrst started chatting, I got a lot of attention right away. Young guys, old guys – everyone knew I was fresh meat. But I wasn’t looking for just anyone ... I was looking for someone like Josh. Josh was extremely attractive. He worked at Abercrombie and had recently returned from a modeling gig in Florida. As soon as I started talking to him, I had a feeling he would be the one. Every time we chatted, I got this rush, this feeling ... gooey almost. It was exhilarating. My balls would actually tingle. After a couple nights of chatting online, talking for hours about basically nothing, he asked if we could meet. I told him yes. What I didn’t tell him: that I was 16. He was 22. We met that Thursday at – of all gay rendezvous – a nearby Applebee’s. He was even better looking in person. Lean, muscular arms. Tan skin. Beautiful face.
My curiosity and my sexual desire
I remember it being really uncomfortable and thinking,
completely overruled the conseexperience. I wanted to be
The only things in the apartmen blanket, a Trojan condom, and
pleasured. I wanted to have sex.
It didn’t feel the way Hollywood makes it feel. It was not what I expected
quences. I wanted to feel the
A company called Funbetty makes pubic hair dye that comes in hot pink. 10 • INside
After exchanging quick greetings, we shared an awkward hug in the parking lot. When he leaned in to hug me, I could smell the Abercrombie cologne on his neck. It was almost intoxicating and immediately turned me on. After dinner, we got in his Mustang – red, of course – and drove to his apartment, which he shared with a female roommate. But as soon as we arrived, and I met her, she immediately gave me this look. A look I can still remember today. She knew, at that time, what I didn’t ... that I was just another fuck. We didn’t have sex that night, though. It was two weeks later before we did.
It was in his apartment, which, by that time, was completely empty. He had just moved back in with his parents but still had his key to the apartment. When we walked in, the ﬂoor was barren. No furniture, no lights, no nothing. The only things in the apartment were a green blanket, a Trojan condom, and a tube of lube. God, I was such an idiot. Since it was the dead of winter, the apartment was exceptionally cold. I was so buzzed with sexual adrenaline, though, that I barely noticed. There we were: two guys about to have sex, which is already a societal taboo, in a place that we technically weren’t supposed to be in.
It was so bad – so naughty – which is what, initially, made it feel so good. In preparation for sex, we laid the blanket down on the ground, like we were having a picnic – good thing we didn’t because we would have crushed all of the ants. After a while of fooling around, he asked me if I was ready. I said yes. I also said that we didn’t need a condom. Luckily, he argued against that, saying that I should always – ALWAYS – use a condom. He was smart. I was stupid and irresponsible and young and horny and desperate and clueless. So are a lot of
continued on page 20
‘This does not feel good.’
nt were a green a tube of lube. at all. It was a complete let down.
iBuzz makes a vibrator that you can plug into your iPod.
INside • 11
Body language A reported essay on how we see bodies and what they say Story by Michelle Manchir Photos By Joel Hernandez
A little ggirl, no more than 8 years old, sat across from me in a white pla plastic chair at a tanning salon downtown. Her baby fat-ridde fat-ridden body squirmed, and she played with her stringy blond hair nervously. I was nervous, too. Though I had 13 years of life experience on her, we had a strong nonverbal bond, as I waited on my roommate to emerge a bronzed goddess from one of the beds and she waited on an older sister or mother. Waiting was ﬁne – what was nerve-wracking was being among the seven beautiful, twenty-something women waiting with us. We both shot multiple glances at their perfectly toned and, well, tanned, bodies. Their manicured ﬁngers and toes. Their Juicy sweatpants that ﬁt just right. The 8 year old and I, you see, were both pale. Not pasty, but we lacked that impeccable, perfectly pretty Cosmopolitan cover-worthy look the women around us absolutely achieved. We lacked perfectly straightened hair, ﬁrmed abs and pants that complemented the contours of our maybe not-so-supple thighs. It took no words from the little girl’s pursed mouth to perceive her emotions. She felt ugly. She felt fat. She felt inferior. I understood.
pictures, and images of sexy women’s bodies shape people’s idea about what is desirable. Still, women who go to tanning salons, highlight their hair, and buy beautiful clothes to look like Maxim’s hotties or Laguna Beach babes aren’t wrong or shallow. After all, being pretty is fun, and taking pleasure in beauty is OK – I hate even going to Kroger without eyeliner. This sexualization of the female body, Maher says, is not necessarily a “bad” thing. What is unfortunate, she says, is that a woman’s body is the prototype – as opposed to a man’s body – used to sell everything from soap to sports cars. Maybe you’re familiar with the recent Nikon Coolpix camera commercial featuring a half-naked Kate Moss with bedroom eyes and a tight black mini dress. The commercial juxtaposes the camera’s sleek exterior with Kate’s equally... well... sleek exterior. This sort of advertising is what “the commodiﬁcation of women’s bodies” means. The camera, like Kate’s body, is an object to be desired. Can you imagine a more-than-half naked male’s body taking the place of Kate in the commercial? Would it work the same way if, instead of breasts, blond hair, and sinewy legs, the camera was associated with muscular thighs, six pack abs, and a sturdy jaw? It would appeal to our sexuality in a diﬀerent way, and, for the public, it would likely cause a stir. o be a beautiful young woman in a heterosexual Maher says. While it’s true men’s bodies are becoming more “If you are cute, life is certainly easier. But A, it mainstream American culture is to have power. objectiﬁed and lusted after in media, especially adIt is to be admired and loved. At any typical bar won’t last – no matter how much plastic surgery, evenvertisements (Abercrombie and Fitch, anyone?), the on any typical night, it is the women – donning tually, we will all look old – and B, it is limited to how dominant sexy body is that of a woman’s. their lacy tanks and Silver jeans – being bought drinks you are seen, not who you are,” Maher says. Heterosexual men easily take on their role as the Images of sexy women, which are ubiquitous in (by the guys in the same shirt they wore to class that viewer of sexy bodies because they get a lot of practice day). It is the women being gawked at. It is the women popular culture, shape people’s ideas about sexuality. when images of women’s bodies are everywhere. How who are the gatekeepers of sex to the anxious, wide- What do we desire? lucky for them. What the media teaches us to. eyed dudes. “It’s a fucked up power,” says Jennifer Maher, who he way that men see a woman – revealing soft, omen are the standard sex symbol in the teaches a course called Gender, Sexuality, and Pop Culpink nipples on a Girls Gone Wild video, U.S. media. Images of cleavage-exposing, ture for the Department of Gender Studies. Women touching herself in Botticelli’s painting of Velip-sticked, supple, creamy women’s bodies absolutely attain power through appearing beautiful nus, or even just walking outside of Ballantine Hall shimmy in music videos, dominate movie and meeting beauty standards set forth by and rein– has always been a powerful force. How a woman forced by advertisements, movies, television shows, scenes and pervade magazine pages. should look has been constructed, throughout history, Women are not, as I’ve heard some of my peers and commercials for cameras, pudding, and air freshby men. And some women, in turn, work to conform eners. This power is decided by, and therefore given by, say, “just naturally better looking than men.” There’s to that projected image after all, it’s an easy access to men. They have to decide if a woman is worthy of it, nothing biological about a woman’s body – her curves, free drinks, high self-esteem, and, most importantly, her complexion, her hair, or her features – that are power. necessarily more attractive than a man. The notion Starting in the Renaissance era (we’re talking the that women’s bodies are more appealing is socially 1300s here), wealthy men had pornographic paintings constructed. This means that consistent photographs, of female nudes in special “viewing rooms,” to which their male friends would occasionally be invited to indulge. In the 1800s, fashion (like virtually everything else but babies) was designed and manufactured by men. Women wore billowy dresses designed to protect
What little girls learn is not the desire for the other (sex), but the desire to be desired. -Naomi Wolf
their perceived fragility. Later, they wore corsets to accentuate their often naturally ample curves. In December 1953, Hugh Hefner began his regime over men’s magazines as the ﬁrst Playboy landed on magazine racks (Marilyn Monroe, unsurprisingly, donned the cover). An abundant male readership got a glimpse of beautifully photographed, unclothed white women with bountiful breasts and skinny waists – images edited by men. was 11, and it was lunchtime in my sixth grade year. The boys circled around a copy of Britney Spears’ ﬁrst album, the one on the cover of which is she posing with seductive innocence; a short blue skirt reveals her youthful – very sexy – legs. My fellow female peers watched and giggled at the boys’ expressed sexual interest, but I have to recall the deep dejection I felt knowing that I would never be sought-after like Britney. Best-selling American writer Naomi Wolf understands my situation. She articulates in “The Beauty Myth” how, today, women’s sexuality works. Little boys and little girls, she writes, both learn sexuality from a male perspective. After my prepubescent male peers expressed their desire for Britney’s body, I examined the CD cover more closely so that I could try to emulate her look (yeah, it never happened). I learned what was sexy for boys – but that was all. Wolf concludes that the time girls spend learning the male perspective denies them the opportunity to discover their own desires. “What little girls learn is not the desire for the other (sex), but the desire to be desired,” she writes. “National Lampoon’s Van Wilder,” “The 40-YearOld Virgin” and “Wedding Crashers” drew huge audiences of both men and women. All these movies feature male protagonists seeking sex from women. Extremely sexy female bodies are the norm. If you saw any single one of the noticeable actresses in these movies, she would be the most beautiful person you’d ever seen in real life. The real threat here is the normalization of this glamorous pretty that few women can imitate but all men learn to desire. The scene in “Wedding Crashers” where women wearing (and not wearing) lingerie ﬂop on beds isn’t included for a heterosexual woman’s libido. But they take it along with the males in the audience because they, too, experience sex from a male perspective. Maher explains that mainstream culture is inherently masculine: taking our fathers’ and husbands’ last names, insults like “douche bag” and “sissy,” the fact that we use the phrase “mankind.” “Girls early on learn to identify with both genders,” she says. “To like most pop movies, you sort of have to ‘become’ male to identify with the ﬁlm’s point of view – which is masculine.” Since I identify as heterosexual and have learned to see myself as a man does, is it surprising that the purplish brown scar on my left lower shin bugs the hell out of me? I dread knowing I will develop the tiny
blue varicose veins on my upper thigh that my mom complains about every time she puts on shorts. I worry that moles, pimples, pores, and tan lines make me appalling. n 2005, women accounted for 91 percent of all cosmetic surgeries in the U.S. Last January, the Aesthetic Surgery Journal reported a study that found women who had body surgery – primarily liposuction or breast augmentation – reported a more active and fulﬁlling sex life. Some women even claimed they reached orgasm easier. These women weren’t satisﬁed in bed until they drastically altered their bodies and emptied a remarkable portion of their bank account (Did you know the average cost of a breast augmentation is $5,500?) to ﬁt an idealized standard of beauty. Women who undergo plastic surgery didn’t construct the image of what they should look like on their own. When women’s bodies are idealized and normalized as being without pubic hair, cellulite, boogers, and sweat, the perceived value of every woman’s body and her sense of self-worth and sexual value diminishes. More frighteningly, male desire for her may diminish, as well. Wolf calls it “the deadening of the male libido to real women.” Growing up, women are virtually on their own when it comes to learning to desire men. Women aren’t exposed to the panning of a camera on a man’s meaty calves, ﬁrm hands, viril biceps and forearms, a technique moviemakers use often to visualize a woman’s body. It even feels weird for me to have to describe a man’s sensuous features. I can’t articulate the solid sexiness of a man’s body like I can the curvy wonders of a woman’s. Can you? I remember when I ﬁrst saw “The Sandlot” in fourth grade. I was turned on by Benny’s character, and it made me uncomfortable. It felt strange and, because of my Catholic background, even sinful to wonder what his body looked like under his T-shirt and what it would be like to touch him. On the other hand, it didn’t feel awkward or wrong to ponder Wendy’s bathing suit-clad body and pretty red lips. That was nothing new for me. And I like dudes!
hat we must do, then, as media consumers, is not banish our porn or throw away our mascara, as discarding these things altogether may not be helpful – or even possible. We can never expect to completely unlearn what is consistently imposed upon us by magazines and movies. It is essential, however, that we realize artiﬁcial women and unattainable fantasies are potentially detrimental to our – both men’s and women’s – sex lives, self-esteem levels, and imaginations. Maybe keep that in mind when browsing magazine racks or watching MTV. In turn, maybe you’ll feel enlightened. And wouldn’t that be sexy?
[ Photo by Kelsey Peters ]
Are we hypocritical or what? Here we have an essay unpacking the history and impact of the prototypical sexy woman in our popular culture, and, accompanying it, we have ... very sexy images of a woman. But decisions about the cover and dominant photographs for the issue were not made carelessly. Photography student Joel Hernandez shot dozens of photos of the male and female INside models. More than 20 students weighed in on the image they preferred for the cover from five designs – two featuring the male model and three featuring the female. “We wanted to open it up and get opinions from others who had no direct stake in the magazine,” says editor Brian Janosch. “Those responses helped make the decision.” Janosch and managing editor Joanna Borns agree that readers could perceive the woman on the cover as reinforcing socially dominant ideas that women are the ultimate sex symbol. But they also say the issue’s focus on educating readers should take precedence over the images used. “I don’t think having a sexy image of a woman on the cover is necessarily a negative thing,” Borns says. “The entire issue is looking at sex from a variety of perspectives. Our goal was to pick an image that would resonate with readers.” Art director Jordan David said he hoped the chosen cover would help to generate a discussion among readers – and promote media literacy. “It should encourage students to not just consume media passively,” he says. Meanwhile, Janosch’s ultimate goal was to inform readers in meaningful and dynamic ways. “With this issue of the magazine we’ve approached the whole topic of sex in the fashion of trying to educate on a lot of different levels,” Janosch says. “Even if someone is upset by the cover, I would hope they still read the magazine. That’s our biggest objective.” -M.M.
HPV I’m all about playing the field right now. I mean, to be honest, I kinda get around ... with 15 percent of the population. That’s about 20 million lucky lovers. What I’m trying to say is - I’m a player. You still want more proof? At least 80 percent of women will be familiar with me, Human Papilloma Virus, by age 50. And don’t be intimidated by that swank-sounding name. My friends just call me G Dubs – as in genital warts. Guys, girls, I don’t discriminate. There’s plenty of me to go around. They say there’s no cure for a broken heart. Well, break away cuz once you’ve been with me, there is no turning back. Oh, did I mention my affinity with risks? Like increasing a woman’s risk of getting cervical cancer. Scared yet? I’ll share a little secret. If you really want to check me out, just be sure to get a regular pap test, and you’ll be in the clear.
Herpes I sure hope you believe in soulmates because, honey, you and me were meant to be. Just give me one night, and I’ll stay with you forever. I mean that. You can seek all the help you want; no treatment is getting rid of me. If there is one thing I’ve got, it’s staying power. I think that red roses are so cliché. For our first date, I’ll show up with a fresh bouquet of red rashes that will blossom into a breakout of blisters. And don’t worry, I’m a gift that will keep right on giving. Sure, you can take your fancy-pants, antiviral medication to hold me back, but let’s be honest – you can’t stop me; you can only hope to contain me. I’m a stage-five clinger, so get comfortable. I’ve already picked out a great duvet cover.
you pick up? Illustration by Nate Bethea
Pubic Lice Are you turned on by a pair of hot legs? How about six? I have to admit, I get a bit irritable. Not really cranky, just a little crabby. But don’t mind that; let’s just head over to your place tonight. I invited thousands of my closest friends. And we like to play rough – assuming you’re into that kinda thing. Even if you’re not, just try stopping all of us. That’s right. There’s a party in your pants, and everybody is invited! That itching sensation – don’t cry party foul; that’s just your allergic reaction to our biting. Please, go ahead and scratch us. That just spreads me and my pals around to your legs, armpits, eybrows, or any other cozy collection of hair. Long story short: prepare to sanitize everything you own, cuz I just announced a “Pants Party” on Facebook.
Where to get tested Planned Parenthood 421 S. College Ave. 812-336-0219 Indiana University Health Center 600 N. Jordan Ave. 812-855-4011 Bloomington Hospital 601 W. Second St. 812-353-6821
Chlamydia I’m not sure if you know this, but I’m kind of a big deal. As in the most frequently reported bacterial STD in the United States. I’m the strong, dark, and silent type, emphasis on the silent. In fact, chances are, you won’t even know what hit you. I’m just smooth like that. Half the men that I get with don’t even know it. For the ladies, it’s three-quarters. And as for the rest of ’em, they know they’ve truly found me when they’ve got a little discharge down below or a burning sensation when they pee. You call it pain; I call it true love. Baby, I’m so stealthy that I can cause irreversible damage to a woman’s reproductive system before she even knows I’m there. A night with me is so unforgettable, you’ll need antibiotics.
INside • 17
Picking the brain of
‘Professor Porn’ Interview by Zack Teibloom
At cocktail parties people always tell me I have the best job in the world. It’s not as great as they would think. Believe it or not, my wife is pretty cool with my research.
My grandfather used to introduce me to people by saying, “This is my grandson. He’s getting his PhD in strip joints.”
Some feminists tell me I’m validating porn by studying it. But what if I studied cancer? By studying cancer are we validating it?
How many dirty movies have I seen? A thousand or so. I’ve met Ron Jeremy numerous times. He’s a media-junkie and a pretty smart guy.
Porn deserves more credit for bringing VCRs into the mainstream and changing Internet usage from a hourly fee to a month-long pass. At porn conventions, I learned that breasts aren’t the only embellishments. Many actresses have enhanced labis.
While writing my dissertation, I watched so much porn that I couldn’t help picturing everyone naked.
Porn music developed like pop music. It was bluesy in the ’60s, major key in the ’70s, synthisized in the ’80s, and grungy in the ’90s. I find that hilarious.
I’ve got unopened DVDs with titles like “Bikini Banger Vol. 4” that star my former grad student. I’ve found that women often view porn as socially acceptable and get a thrill f ro m d o i n g something “wrong.”
Who is this man? Bryant Paul, 34, began teaching at IU in 2003. His class, T410 Sex in the Media, details sex in mainstream media – how it’s regulated and how it’s promoted. In addition to teaching, Paul conducts numerous studies on how pornography aﬀects people. In a recent study, he showed some subjects barely legal porn, featuring 18- and 19-year-olds, and other subjects regular porn. He then showed all of them images of fully clothed children, along with sexual words, to test which subjects drew a connection between the two. To little surprise, Paul concluded that those connections came quicker and easier for the subjects that viewed barely legal porn.
18 • INside
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THE SEX ISSUE
from page 11
teenage bottoms, I guess. After he put on the condom, I got on my back and put my legs over his shoulders. He asked me a zillion times if I was ready. Over and over and over – until I practically screamed an aﬃrmation. Finally, he mounted me. He went really slowly, pausing with every gradual push to ask if I was OK, which I was. Unfortunately, that’s all I was, all the experience was really just ... OK. When we were having sex, I remember thinking, “I’m getting fucked right now ... Is this all that there is?” I realized months later, after he stopped calling me, that it was basically just him putting his dick in my ass. There was no love, no emotion, no nothing. It was as empty as the apartment. I ran into him three years later, randomly, at a gay bar near my hometown. He was drunk – staggeringly so – and told me he was still living with his parents. Just before I left, he asked me, with a little speck of saliva dangling pathetically from his mouth, if I wanted to do a threesome with him and his boyfriend. I thanked him for the oﬀer but declined and walked out to my car. That was the last time I saw him. I found out months later from a mutual friend that his boyfriend is HIV positive. I guess it’s a good thing he uses condoms. – As told to Colin Dugdale o be honest, I had no idea i what to expect. I was 14,, heading eadi into freshman year ar of high school, sch hool, and and I had been dating my girlfriend end for about 10 months. All I really eally thought I knew kne about sex was that it was going what you see on ng to be awesome. From F TV and everything, verything, it’s supposed suppos to be this amazing experience. We had pretty much done everything up m to that point, and allll that h felt really good, and sex is supposed to be the best thing, so how could it not feel even better? One night we were at my house just fooling around like we did pretty often. My parents were all the way up on the second story, and we were in the basement, so if the door were to open or anything, we would have known. We were kissing and touching, and we both just decided, “OK, this is the time.” Keep in mind, this girl was my ﬁrst love – no doubt about it. To this day, I still think about her. We had been our ﬁrst for everything, so we knew we wanted to be each other’s ﬁrst for this too. I had never been nervous about sex, just nervous about
20 INside •
being caught having sex. When we would go over to her house, I would want it, but I would have to say, “No, we can’t do this,” because her mom would always stay up and watch TV. She would even pull the classic “send-the-brother-up-to-see-if-we-wantanything-to-eat” move. In terms of being nervous about performance or anything like that, it wasn’t even really a thought. We were both ready, it was just a matter of making sure nobody was around bothering us. On the night it happened, we were playing this little game where one of us would get on top of the other and start kissing the other person all over. Basically, we were just ramping each other up. The object was to just sit there and let her do anything she wanted until the point where you were just like, “OK, come here!” We were so amped up. So ready to go. When she got on top of me, it was just like, “alright.” Either way we were both going to do something to each other that required us to be naked, but that was nothing new. But this time it was like, “You’re naked on top of me. I’m sitting here. And I’m naked under you.” From there she kind of initiated the whole thing. She basically eased her way on it, or whatever. She just took her time. It felt like ... I don’t know ... It didn’t feel like oral sex; it was just so much better. I spent about 15 seconds just lying there, like, “This is unbelievable.” At that point, I thrusted a little bit up into her, and that’s when she gasped and said, “Oh my God, that hurt so bad!” She got up oﬀ me real quick and touched it, you know, because it hurt so bad. She pulled her ﬁngers up and there was blood on them because I popped her cherry, which is crazy because I thought I would have already done that with ﬁngers or something, but nope, there was blood. Now I had taken anatomy. I knew of the whole “cherry popping” concept. It just never crossed my mind that night because I was so worried thinking, “Oh my God, did I just hurt this girl?” She was actually the one that said, “Oh, that must have been my cherry.” I remember her even using that word. In total, it probably lasted all of 20 or 25 seconds. I didn’t wear a condom, even though I had access to one. I think we both thought of them as a disease preventer, but we knew we were each other’s ﬁrst time. After she got hurt, and I mean she was really hurt, we just decided to call it a night. The next time we hung out and messed around, we had sex, and everything was ﬁne for that. I don’t know how everybody deﬁnes sex because for those ﬁrst couple times, I never came, and she never came. We never really knew what was going on. I ﬁgure, if you penetrate someone – that’s sex. So I mean, that was technically
The male fetus is capable of attaining an erection during the last trimeste r.
my ﬁrst time ever. Looking back, we were really just hooking up, except it was sex. Neither of us actually had an orgasm with each other until we started dating again our senior year. I guess, looking back on things, the only bad thing was that we didn’t really know what we were doing. We didn’t have the knowledge. We didn’t have the experience to know what was really happening. I guess no one does their ﬁrst time. I think it was a positive experience. It was deﬁnitely somebody I wanted to do it with, and I am 100 percent sure that she would say the same thing. Again, it all depends on how you deﬁne sex, but I guess what that experience boiled down to was basically experimentation with penetration. – As told to Brian Janosch thought ght the sexual act a would be just as pleasurable le as making out wi with her. That was not the case. ase. The sexual act itse itself was really bad. Marissa was a really re cute girl. She was unapologetically getically feminist, sshe didn’t shave her legs, ery crunchy, very v she was very hippie, very into eating organic food,, aand her favorite singer was Janis Joplin. She had a nose ring and all these tapestries wo that indigenous workers in Guatemala wove. I remember just being in awe of that. I’ve always been into girls who kind of look like me, at least in the way that they’re brunette, and they wear glasses. I’m really into that kind of pseudo-librarian look. She had dark hair and glasses and big, full breasts. She was very much a woman. I met Marissa touring a campus with my stepbrother. I didn’t really see much of her again until the end of my freshman year. My friends wanted to go to a party at her house. We went over there, and Marissa and I started bullshitting by the keg. She helped me do my ﬁrst keg stand and asked us to come back in a few days for another party. When we went back on Friday, we partied until 4 a.m. Marissa suggested we go hang out in the ﬁeld behind her house. It was me, two friends and Marissa. My two friends were pairing oﬀ, and then Marissa and I started pairing oﬀ. It was gradual over the night, but there was a lot of ﬂirtation and touching. After a while my friends wanted to leave, but I said I wanted to stay. I didn’t really give the same weight and importance to losing my virginity that some heterosexual friends of mine were giving it because I think it’s different. I don’t have the worry of getting pregnant. I really wasn’t thinking about it. I just thought, “It’ll be cool if this happens and I lose my virginity.” When my friends left, we just started making out hardcore. Marissa had a testosterone profundity, so she had lots of arm hair and a full-on, dude happy trail. I didn’t
care about that because I’ve never been someone who’s concerned with body hair, but it was a strange experience because it felt, in some ways, like I was with a guy when I was touching her stomach. It was kind of a natural progression. I remember when we were heavily petting that I asked her, “Are you OK with this?” And she said, “Yeah I’m ﬁne. Are you?” and I said, “Yeah I’m ﬁne; it’s not a big deal.” She knew I was a virgin. My memory is kind of blurry because I was more drunk than I let on. It was just a lot of what you’d expect from lesbian sex — a lot of kissing of breasts and touching each other. I was totally at a loss for how to go about doing this because the mechanics aren’t as simple as with men and women. I had had girlfriends before, and we had made out and touched each other’s breasts or dry humped, but I’d never ventured below the belt. That was completely new territory to me, and it completely freaked me out because I had no idea how it was done. I remember thinking, “Would I go down on her?” And I decided no because that’s something that, A, I was terriﬁed to do with someone I didn’t know that well, and B, it just seemed so much more intimate than what we were doing. We got to a point where she stuck her hand down my pants, and she basically fucked me, but ﬁngering is what I consider sex. I know even in lesbian land it’s like, what is real sex? Opinions diﬀer, but for me, sex is ﬁnger banging. For other people, sex is getting head or giving it. But, for me, there’s a diﬀerence between getting head and sex. I remember it being really uncomfortable and thinking, “This does not feel good.” She was pretty drunk, so it was really rough. I rolled her over and proceeded to fuck her. I had no idea what was going on. I was still very uncomfortable with learning about my body and how it works and any other person’s body. I didn’t know the mechanics. I knew there was a clit and this mythical gspot, but I had no idea how to access it or really give a woman pleasure. I remember I was just in and out, and she was more cuddling me than anything. This went on for 10 minutes or so, and then I looked up and realized that she had fallen asleep because she was so drunk. I kept my hand there for a minute because I didn’t know what to do. I pulled myself out of her and said, “I think it’s time to go.” I remember driving home at 6 a.m. thinking, “What the fuck just happened?” In that typical melodramatic teenage way I was like, “I just lost my virginity. Oh my God.” But honestly, besides being a drama queen, I wasn’t really aﬀected by it. It was weird to think about, but there was really no sense of shame involved. – As told to Carrie Ritchie
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Dendrophilia is a sexual attraction to trees. INside • 21
THE SEX ISSUE
Top 5 reasons NOT to wear a bra – an SM exclusive –
February 2007 | spoofmonthly.omg University of Indiana Edition
HOW TO GET LAID
and stay conscious! 10 Ways to Spend Your Trust Fund Satisfied with your body? YOU SHOULDN’T BE
DRUNK DUDES & CHICKS MAKING OUT!!! 22 • INside