Page 1


Ian Haywood 4R

My Life Motto: ! “Too Late Now”

WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE (Preferably Alive)

-5”4’ -110 lbs -Brown Hair -Brown Eyes -Caucasian


-Saying “Bomb” on an aircraft -Indecent Exposure (Streaking in a Park) - Breaking a Mascots Neck

REWARD $500,000,000


Ian Haywood November 8, 1996-November 8 2096

Join the Northeast British Car Club

Ian as an old man Ian Haywood was a much loved genius with a cat sized brain. The family of him was very devastated as they found out the terrible news. Ian was sky diving above the beaches of Las Angeles when his parachute failed, luckily 3 weeks before he took diving lessons. He landed safely in the water but after lessons. He landed safely in the water but after lessons. He landed safely in the water but after he landed in the water, an insider for Osama bin Laden, shot him in his cat sized brain of his, and Ian immediately died. The family that was left behind was, mother Sydney Haywood, father Garron Haywood, sister Kari Haywood, and brothers Max, Alex, and Ryan Haywood. He will be truly missed!

For More Info Call: 1800-1234567

Personal Essay My grandmother, Connie Link is a 69 year old woman. She is probably one of the coolest grandparents ever. If needed she would be at my house in about 1 minute, because she lives right next door. So I can get pancakes all the time. There a few things that my grandma has accomplished in life and those are, getting married, having kids, and she has been in a few different countries around the world like Ireland, and Mexico, and even been to the state of Hawaii. I don’t know if I’d want to be my grandmother. Although she can do what ever she wants to do. She can drive, she can wake up at any time she wants (although she wakes up at about 4 in the morning) she can buy things that she wants, she can do all this without anyones permission, she’s her own person. So maybe for a day I could be my grandmother because of all of the freedom, I would rather not be a girl, just so we’re clear.



TOP 10 WAYS TO NOT DO GOOD AT SPORTS 10. Don’t Play Them Written By Ian Haywood, Page 6

My Will ! As you all know I died a freaking rich Model/Comedian. I was loved by most everyone in the great city of Boston, Massachusetts. I do not know how much money I have to my name as you read this, but I estimate it is around 6.5 Trillion dollars (That may be a little too low). I will want to leave my belongings to all of my loved ones, but I simply have to much stuff for you all to handle! Let’s start! I will be leaving my 58 Million dollar Mansion to my lovely wife Christina, with all appliances included. I would like my 1st son to have my other Mansion in Las Angeles, and my Micky Mantle Rookie card that I signed sold on Ebay, this all should be worth a total of 6 million (the signed rookie card is about $5). I want to give my father who is as old as can be (I’m surprised he outlived me) my multi-million dollar camper, that has 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms! Dad, it takes decal! To my motherI’m just going to give you 4.5 million, because I have no idea what to give women. ! To my 4 siblings, you can decide between yourselves, because I simply don’t have the time, because I’m too busy being too rich to care. I want you all to know I love you. Sincerely, Ian Haywood

May 12, 2012 Haywood!







Neil St. Joseph, MO


816 344-4907



Benton High School None None None

I’m a great leader, I never follow. I don’t take “No” for an answer! Nuff said!


Your Invited To Ian Haywood’s Neat 16

RSVP: (816) 344-4907


You Owe $5 to Me For Inviting You

Haywood- This is the name for a person in charge of protecting a closed in forest from damage. Haywood was made from to Old English haye, which means enclosure.



Multi-genre research project