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Dear Annie: I've been friends with "Jane" and "Carol" since college. Unfortunately, since her mom died well over a decade ago, Jane has become a hermit. She is distant, and whenever we make plans, she makes an excuse at the Dear soon-to-be very lastAnnie: minuteMy to cancel on us. exwife and I live on the West Coast, We're frustrated. while my 92-year-old mother While I can sympathize with lives in senior loss, facility New York. hera terrible I feelinshe needs She is happy there. She is still to move on and start living again. mentally sharp, butroom her forever. body is She can't hide in her starting become frail. My Carol andtoI are not sure how to wife has become the primary careapproach this. giver for Mom. She visits We want to be sensitive to a few times year and but atpampers the sameMom Jane's afeelings with pedicures, footthat massages, time get her to realize she etc. She also has Mom’s has friends and family whopower love of attorney for her financial affairs, her and want to spend time with and henceshould the dilemma. her. What we do? — My wife had an affair during her visits Frustrated Friends to Dear see my mother. We have Friends: If Jane has been separated for two months, and I been so severely depressed about her mother's death more than plan to finalize thefor divorce within a decade, the year. she Myneeds wifeprofessional doesn’t want help. stuck. Tell her you are me toShe tell ismy mother, because she worried her, and suggestheart. fears it about will break Mom’s she look help wife She mayinto be counseling right, butto my her get her life back on track. has complete control of Mom’s She alsoand can find a Motherless finances, because of factors Daughters support group through in our breakup (dishonesty, lying, hopeedelman.com. cheating, etc.), I don’t trust her Annie: After 56 years to Dear do the right thing withof my marriage, money, our father passed away mother’s especially if the and left gets my mother alone for the divorce ugly, which is entirefirst time in her life. Four years ly possible. It also could jeoparafter my Dad brother’s died, Mom portion suffered aof an dize bout of meningitis. inheritance. My current situation While has recovered com- fredoes notshe allow me to travel pletely, she is convinced quently, and I haven’t that seenshe Mom is bedridden. I moved back home in 18 months. I call her once a to take care of her because no one week. My brother has his hands else would. My younger sister full with his wife, who has earlylives in the house with us, but onset Alzheimer’s. I would like to does her own thing. remove power is,offour attorney from The problem other sibmy wife, but I know Mom would lings live in the same city, and be completely by the Yet no one helps three are retired.devastated loss of her “only daughter.” don’t look after Mom but me. Mom Ihas want to tongue, hurt mybut mother. Whatisdo a sharp her memory you — she Conflicted shot.suggest? Even when is insulting, Dear Conflicted: she doesn't rememberYour it. wife can withdraw as your finanI drive nearly 100mother’s miles a day cial power of attorney as part of to and from work. When I get the divorce home, I cleansettlement, the kitchen or anda judge could orderMom it. But make sure has you a hotalso mealcould ask Mom to sign a new while watching TV. I am D.O.T.:POA, giving authority to you or disappointed, overwhelmed andyour brother, it is will supersede tired. Myand spirit broken; I don'tany BRIDGE SUDOKU BRIDGE SODOKU PUZZLE prior We understand spendPOA time on withfile. friends; I don't that youthedon’t want to do hurt talk on phone; I don't any-her, but your mother will likely find thing. outI worry aboutthat theI will divorce die of at some exhaustion and be alone.to point, and it is Mom morewill respectful course, has no My mother, tell her thanof to deceive her.sym(You pathy my situation. I amdetails.) not can beforvague about the the executor her mother will or a already. beneAnd go see of your ficiary.isBut I would enjoy atoo Time short, andlike it’sto been few years before my life is over. — long. Tired Miserable Dearand Annie: I am an organist Tired: You comandDear frequently playare forkind, weddings passionate and devoted. you at in our church. I am But always don'trehearsal need to wear yourself out for the early and well preyour mother. That does neither of pared by the announced time. you any good.than not, several key More often Of course, your siblings party shouldare people in the wedding step up, but they are not going 15 or even 30 minutes late. to This do it, so the handle this as if and you were delays rehearsal often an onlyme child. motherscheduled could makes lateYour for other programs, benefit from day care appointments. Please tell people and you need respite care. Contact to be considerate of the time the Eldercare Locator (elderconstraints of the organist and care.gov), AARP (aarp.org), the the minister, and to be on time Family Caregiver Alliance (carefor rehearsals. — Ticked Off in giver.org) and the Alzheimer's Illinois HOW TO PLAY: Complete Association (alz.org) for informaDear the grid so that every row, tion andTicked help. Off: You told them, andDear we hope they listen.inYou also column and 3x3 box contains Annie: "Trouble could ask the minister every from 1 to 9the incluHubbard" is the executor ofto herstart HOW TOdigit PLAY: Complete grid so that the rehearsal theis time stated, sively. Find answers to today’s mother's estate.atShe concerned every row, column and 3x3 box contains and will have puzzle in tomorrow’s Troy Find that latecomers one grandsonsimply has borrowed a every digit from 1 to 9 inclusively. to catch It can and be difficult to Daily News. great dealup. of money, she answers to today’s puzzle in tomorrow’s schedule a rehearsal that is convewants to deduct that amount from Troy Daily News. nient for all the members SATURDAY’S SOLUTION: his inheritance after Grandmaof the wedding party, but it is important dies. notAstoantake advantage of the(oroffiexecutor of an estate MONDAY’S SOLUTION: ciants, organists others a trust), and "Trouble" haswho trustee of HINTS FROM HELOISE are involved creating such a HINTS FROM HELOISE no choice but toindivide and distribspecial event. will or trust the ute Grandma's Dear Annie: upon I have a differway it's written her death. ent for “Tired Sincesuggestion debts owed Grandma priorand Miserable,” wholegitimate felt she assets was the to her death are only inthis herwould family caring Dear Readers: Saving of the one estate, require stomach. That’s how you end up or even rice or potatoes. adjusting a beneficiary's share of for her aging mother. “Tired” — it Heloise moneyDear neverReaders: goes out of style.is this in the can, you may have to buywith purchases Here — Heloise that you don’t should keep them from getdistributions. said she has siblings in the same Withweek’s REMOVING FAT — Heloise groceries costing more and the two cans. Folks, check the size ofneed!FROST-FREE SOUND OFF, about ting frosted overnight. Vinegar To dobut otherwise opens used to to have town, they are notthehelping. more, SMOKEDDear PAPRIKA here are someinsimple quantity of food packages: your favorite food item — Heloise: I do not Dear is theHeloise: perfect Iproduct have executor or trustee lawsuits a fat separator, but it cracked Dear Heloise: I am often cut costs the next time You cannot expectto your siblings hints to “My pet peeve is manufactur- you may be shocked that have a garage, so my car around because it is good for from the other beneficiaries. it to bethings! tempted toisbuy smokedtopaprika you ers go to the grocery store: of food it’s smaller! — Heloise thrown out. to know to understand what you areIfgoing lowering the quantity exposed the ele- andsohad many Want contributes to family when I see it in the your meals for the Before I could purchase new my store. through and what strife, your parent •inPlan their packages and charging FAST FACTS ments overnight. During what else I use it for?aOrder Hints from Heloise "Trouble" should in favor of week, using coupons or items one, I made homemade gravy However, I am really not sure needs unless youresign clearly commuthe same amount of money. Do Dear Readers: What to the colder months, I am pamphlet Heloise’s Fantabulous appointing a bankitorwas licensed are on salewe in don’t the store’s night, forgetting thatMore. I no To how to usealways it. Do dealing you know anynicate it. I found important thatthey think notice this? do with Columnist one unmatched with frost oneVinegar Hints and company as executor. — trust flier. longer had the separator. thing about this spice? to stop waiting for siblings to weekly I would prefer that they keep the sock: on my windows. Do you receive it, send $5 and a long, selfKailua, Go on the to raise theyou can problem,stamped though. I(66 just cents) let — Carly F., viaany email use for later meals. offer to Hawaii help. Instead, I made up •quantity thecomputer same and * Dust window blinds or have hints to help No addressed, Annie's Mailbox is written by check manufacturers’ websites the pan drippings sit a few minSmoked paprika is made • Be sure to stock up on a monthly “caregiving” schedule price a bit. It has happened to furniture with it. me? I often am late due to envelope to: Heloise/Vinegar, P.O. Kathy Mitchell and to Marcy Sugar, especially in a795001, cup until theAntonio, fat rose TX from sweet, red bell all the time when Hints for each sibling spend time for online coffee, coupons, ice cream, cheese,ontuna,items *you Putuse around a drink for waiting forpeppers. my windows utes Box San most expensive name top. I then used my The peppers are smoked over longtime mom. editors My of thesiblings Ann find them on sale (if they helping were the etc. from — Bev in New Hampshire” youinsulation. to defrost. — Kevin in to the 78279-5001. A good, multipuryou use. turkey baster to collect the fat wood to create a smoky flavor Landersto column. email your or you havemop space Heloise happy step Please up when given brandsHow right you are, and manycan be*frozen Use on a dust Chicago pose household cleaner is 1/2 Try a meat-free meal once a in the pantry for them). and place it in a can, to be disbefore being ground up. It’s questions to anniesmailbox@comColumnist an assignment. Sons, in particu- •readers have complained about instead of cloths. I do have a hint for you, cup white vinegar, 1 pint rubbing because meat tends to posed of later. This worked so much more flavorful than plain a warehouse memcast.net, write to: Annie's lar, are or sometimes oblivious to week, this same thing, Bev. It also can • Share * Make an eye mask out and it is simple and cheap! alcohol, 1 teaspoon dishwashing cost the most. well that I may do without a fat paprika, so you won’t need to bership with a friend. Split the Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, caregiving needs. They are glad throw off a recipe. If you were of it. Mix a solution of 1/2 vin- separator liquid and enough water to make • Buy meat in bulk, especially cost of items you can both use. in the future! — use so much in your cooking. 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, to help if told what to do. — using a can of tomato sauce * Cover an armrest on a chair egar and 1/2 water. Coat each a gallon. Put it in a spray bottle Melanie D., via email Add it to any egg or meat dish, when on sale. Freeze in portions • Never shop on an empty CA 90254.

The price remains the same

Shopping for savings is easier than you might think

Working Together

before and now there is less sauce

to keep it clean.

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and label clearly. — Heloise

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