I saw I thought I remembered the index exists in two places – book two of four

Page 1

Two passages of writing extending from the workshop Gestures of Portraiture Florian Feigl and Litó Walkey with guest contributors

I saw I thought I remembered the index exists in two places

the as if it ’ s just about to happen series–book two of four


Intro­d uction

The as if it ’ s just about to happen book series invites a reengagement with four workshops, facilitated within HZT Berlin’s BA Dance, Context, Choreography programme between 2014–2016. Four of HZT ’ s teaching staff initiated a collaborative writing project with colleagues, HZT students and alumni to access what persists through the entanglement of their artistic and pedagogic practices. They returned to the pedagogic events with the question “What was and is it doing and what can we create with it now?” Initial experiences, notes and memories from the workshops were approached with a strategy of interruption. A specific set of para­meters informed a structure of excerpts, footnotes, invitations and responses that produced a new order of connections based on selectivity, discontinuity and proliferation. As a reader you are encouraged to be involved with the passages of writings and drawings within these four books and online at the HZT website — to follow, skip across, take apart, expand, reassemble, rewrite and respond further. You are invited to expe­rience what is still creating itself, as if it’s just about to happen.

Writing structure

a poem

a footnote

an invitation

a response

of eight excerpts from the workshop experience

of 100 words elaborates every six-word excerpt as a mini-essay, index, archive or script

of maximum 50  words addresses an inquiry about every excerpt and its footnote

of 250 words or a drawing follows after every excerpt, footnote and invitation

Book two of four has two central authors, creating two parts interwoven with guest contributions.


I saw I thought I remembered Florian Feigl with guest contributors

I saw I thought I remembered

the as if it ’ s just about to happen series–book two of four


book 2 part 1

Florian Feigl with guest contributors

a poem

Shame on more of the same And rubber boots are made of oil A question of taste? maybe not Fall is when leaves change colours Deal with things one cannot see I saw I thought I remembered All that happens when getting closer Become a memory. Now. And cry.

( 1  ( 2 ( 3 ( 4 ( 5 ( 6 ( 7 ( 8


I saw I thought I remembered Florian Feigl with guest contributors

I saw I thought I remembered

the as if it ’ s just about to happen series–book two of four


book 2 part 1

Florian Feigl with guest contributors

book 2 part 1 Florian Feigl with guest contributors

Invitation to students

In response to the footnote produce a one-liner. The idea is to have a panorama, a landscape produced by one-liners: 1 — a subject, a thing, a feeling; 2 — a reference to space; 3 — a reference to time. Fragments of fake Haikus.

1  )

Starting with fake biographical elements. Echoes and reverberations of personal narrations,

a poem

Shame on more of the same And rubber boots are made of oil A question of taste? maybe not Fall is when leaves change colours Deal with things one cannot see I saw I thought I remembered All that happens when getting closer Become a memory. Now. And cry.

( 1  ( 2

fantasies, jokes, made up memories, reflections and lies. An incomplete formation, varying

( 3

coherences, blank spots to be filled or left blank for the time being. Torn fabric, made and

( 4

produced together. Simple, sometimes silly. At times clear and easy to understand, at times

( 5

strange, even mysterious. A temporary landscape to relate to.

( 6 ( 7 ( 8


I saw I thought I remembered

Everyday a restless neck lies on a pillow, cock-adoodledooo.

2

To find oneself in Atlantis, on a submarine and in a spaceship.

3:06 PM at my desk bouncing words on fake leather damn i can barely think.

Laos, 2016: a baby gecko sits next to my tablet.

There is no prologue, no epilogue; just open memories for the presence.

Eating fried cold fish next to the midnight train.

A dirty bathtub standing at a bus stop just after you have missed the bus. True, my eyelids are green, that,s how I painted them. The voice is an empty space inside my body that is an unexplored animal, a male or female entity with its space without turning from inside to outside.

Long Time naked at the pond, three people.

Anger is trendy One inch in this direction or one inch in the other Since that day in the shower, I had to _ in the foreigner’s line.

What has never been mine, a hole in my stomach wherein they arrived together, in trust.

3

Response from students


book 2 part 1

Florian Feigl with guest contributors

book 2 part 1 Florian Feigl with guest contributors

Invitation to Essi

This is an invitation to develop a text piece focusing on group and passage as environment of making. In the making. In movement, in transformation. All presences effecting each other. Moving and trans­ forming as group. Accepting in from the group, delivering to the group.

2  )

Objects initiate dialogues, multi-logues, conversations. Gestures & movements. Play & shame,

a poem

Shame on more of the same And rubber boots are made of oil A question of taste? maybe not Fall is when leaves change colours Deal with things one cannot see I saw I thought I remembered All that happens when getting closer Become a memory. Now. And cry.

( 1  ( 2 ( 3

ideas & insecurity, bold steps, surprising findings & painful confessions. Condensing into

( 4

images, colours, tastes, smells, materialities. Passages & formulations. Drawing lines: notebook

( 5

& pen, what one knows & what one wants, eyes & hands, fantasies & events. Moving bodies.

( 6

Grouping, as group, delivered to a group. Gradually dissolving images into experience.

( 7 ( 8


I saw I thought I remembered

bodies of hair, bodies of skin, bodies of chlorophyll, bodies of crystal moving in formations towards and away from the light connecting the joints, counting the bones, smelling the holes blowing air into the air together (unsynchronized rhythm) opening softening sweating evaporating blooming bursting splitting spitting pulsating resonating vibrating signaling leaning towards rubbing against pushing and breaking eating each others connecting parts that are separate creating noise creating warmth creating complexity

4

5

Response from Essi


book 2 part 1

Florian Feigl with guest contributors

book 2 part 1 Florian Feigl with guest contributors

Invitation to students

Say: Yes to … X … Say: No to … X … Define a subject, a thing, an activity, a mode. Define a quality, a gesture, a taste, a colour. But define just ONE. Something new, old or borrowed, general or precise, personal or abstract, silly or dead serious.

a poem

Shame on more of the same And rubber boots are made of oil A question of taste? maybe not Fall is when leaves change colours Deal with things one cannot see I saw I thought I remembered All that happens when getting closer Become a memory. Now. And cry.

( 1  ( 2 ( 3

3  )

And aware of deep, growing alienation while exploring and navigating—activating participation

( 4

in a common process of fabrication, affecting an environ-mental process of making, the making

( 5

and re-making of what is. Shifting perspectives that change set-ups for moments.

( 6

( 7 ( 8

To observe, to offer, to try a gesture.


I saw I thought I remembered

Y

6

7

Response from students

Yes to rock climbing. No to rock climbing.  /  Yes to expansiveness. No to expansiveness.  /  Yes to boxes. No to boxes.  /  Yes to hurt. No to hurt.  /  Yes to impure. No to impure.  /  Yes to the tired I-will-never-reach-homeever.  /  No to the tired I-will-never-reach-homeever.  /  Yes to bringing. No to bringing.  /  Yes to Alien. No to Alien.

Yes to fuck. No to fuck.  /  Yes to pensing. No to pensing.  /  Yes to sculpture. No to sculpture.  /  Yes to Blur. No to Blur.  /  Yes to post-intellectualheadache. No to post-intellectualheadache.  /  Yes to guilt. No to guilt.


book 2 part 1

Florian Feigl with guest contributors

book 2 part 1 Florian Feigl with guest contributors

Invitation to Litó

“elude your surveillance, elude your surveillance” “Fall is when leaves change colours” This is an invitation to elaborate on notions, a situation, groups of moments, dynamics and experiences of teaching — potentially in relation to teaching as part of making, publishing & learning, an aesthetic experience.

a poem

Shame on more of the same And rubber boots are made of oil A question of taste? maybe not Fall is when leaves change colours Deal with things one cannot see I saw I thought I remembered All that happens when getting closer Become a memory. Now. And cry.

( 1  ( 2 ( 3 ( 4

4  )

Microsleep. Overwhelmed by the complexity of the folds of a blanket dropped on the floor,

( 5

bored with one’s own simplified attempts to understand — what? The stupid satisfaction of

( 6

repetition — again? The insecurity . . . . The nervousness of nothing new. The fear when meeting

( 7

the utter resistance of the objects around and their total indifference. The screaming emptiness

( 8

inside. The panic . . . . Then break away. Break.

Some snakes play dead in moments of danger. We speak of autumn when leaves change

colour. Changing colour when getting ready to leave. It’s Fall. Leave. Then fall. Did I fall. Did I fall asleep. I did. Supreme.


I saw I thought I remembered

My watching-over falls behind, chases after, exceeds ahead. It catches voids and does not fit one picture.

8

9

Response from Litó

Leave. Then fall. Sleep. Fail to grasp.

Du bist die Aufgabe Das ist eine Aufgabe Gebe einen Brief auf. Ich gebe auf. Aufgeben, tut man einen Brief.

Teach this. My thing is here. Looking at this. And this. With this space between and then this line and then these two lines. and then looking at this — focusing on this and seeing that the back­ ground is out of focus. And then focusing on the background and seeing how this is out of focus, but seeing this and these lines all the time. And this. This is in two parts. First over here. This tangle. Looking at it — where they come from and where they don’t lead to and I guess I had the memory of moving with them and them not reaching as far as I thought they could. And then, I have that. Just like that. Maybe thinking “that’s not enough.” And then over here, crouching down so that your eye level is level with the seats. And looking at this still life. It’s quite symbolic how one rests on the other and hovers lifted above the ground and the one that’s resting on top allows the lower one to also lift a leg. So one has two legs lifted and the other has one slightly lifted.*

* 20 June 2016 rehearsal with Biliana Voutchkova and Litó Walkey for All the notes remain — a populated soliloquy. Transcriptions of the words used when showing a banal detail in the space.


book 2 part 1

Florian Feigl with guest contributors

book 2 part 1 Florian Feigl with guest contributors

Invitation to Tabea

Drawing between happening, becoming something past yet still effecting possible nows: Over a period of seven days produce a collage, adding an element per day. Produce a line drawing based on the source material of the collage through direct copy of a structure, outlines, a shape, words, a texture.

5  )

Images, always images. Bodies amongst other bodies! Moving. Processes in advent. Open to

a poem

Shame on more of the same And rubber boots are made of oil A question of taste? maybe not Fall is when leaves change colours Deal with things one cannot see I saw I thought I remembered All that happens when getting closer Become a memory. Now. And cry.

( 1  ( 2 ( 3 ( 4 ( 5 ( 6

being devised and experienced. Listening and observing. Gestural processes of choice making

( 7

regarding possibilities at hand. Listening and observing. To find out how a rising question can

( 8

possibly be articulated. A question that rises out of a process. Question as a situation that allows to decide what one cannot decide. To find out what one does not know already all the time.


I saw I thought I remembered

10 11


book 2 part 1

Florian Feigl with guest contributors

book 2 part 1 Florian Feigl with guest contributors

Invitation to Tabea

seven gestures — a series of companion pieces (one pair a day for seven days) a — fifty sharp pencils, stuffed in the mouth, the points right-angled on a sheet of paper for five minutes b — five-minute line drawing self-portrait

6  )

A body of light washing through space, changing the surface colours, reflecting waves. A body

a poem

Shame on more of the same And rubber boots are made of oil A question of taste? maybe not Fall is when leaves change colours Deal with things one cannot see I saw I thought I remembered All that happens when getting closer Become a memory. Now. And cry.

( 1  ( 2 ( 3 ( 4 ( 5 ( 6 ( 7

of text, once dropped glowing for ages. Once swallowed burning from inside. A body of sound,

( 8

present when happening, gone when it stops. Bodies of different shapes and aggregates. Where is the silence going when it is getting loud, how is the darkness getting compressed when it is getting light. Gone or still present somewhere. Compressed, lingering. An invisible layer outside of vision, a quality present. Still effecting all other bodies.


I saw I thought I remembered

12 13


book 2 part 1

Florian Feigl with guest contributors

book 2 part 1 Florian Feigl with guest contributors

Invitation to Essi

This is an invitation to describe in text two to six atmospheres, seasons, dynamics and how they act upon, effect and produce change, trans­ formation within the same environment (concrete, abstract, real, imaginary — a fragment, in detail) of your design and description.

7  )

Understanding a situation, a presentation, a study as an environ-mental, corpo-real event.

a poem

Shame on more of the same And rubber boots are made of oil A question of taste? maybe not Fall is when leaves change colours Deal with things one cannot see I saw I thought I remembered All that happens when getting closer Become a memory. Now. And cry.

( 1  ( 2 ( 3 ( 4 ( 5 ( 6 ( 7 ( 8

Environments of making. With a specific climate, atmosphere, depending on seasons, agents, pressures, dynamics. In the making. When making. When audiencing. When witnessing.


I saw I thought I remembered

mountain follows cloud follows wind follows sun sun touches through the leaves, the trunk, the soil and the eight-legged, the six-legged, the four-legged and the two-legged leaning towards the ground allow the weight of their bodies fall evenly towards its uneven surface

river follows pebble follows root follows fungi follows pathway pathway draws a line across the mountain organising the two-legged bodies and their hand held devices into uneven patterns creating movement upwards, downwards, and around in circles

seed follows bird follows star follows gravity gravity organises the rocks on the mountain, the light bones within the bird body, the hair on the hairy body, the cables beneath the ocean floor, the magnetic force fields within the tectonic plate and the seeds within the fruit

gravity follows mountain follows cloud follows wind

14 15

Response from Essi


book 2 part 1

Florian Feigl with guest contributors

book 2 part 1 Florian Feigl with guest contributors

Invitation to Litó

You are invited to write a song addressing different modes of decision making: Intuitive, material, change of perspective. A sequence of differing states, a before and a consecutive after in relation to the mode or process of decision making you describe.

8  )

Physical, corpo-real knowledge to enter the movement of the various objects and entities.

a poem

Shame on more of the same And rubber boots are made of oil A question of taste? maybe not Fall is when leaves change colours Deal with things one cannot see I saw I thought I remembered All that happens when getting closer Become a memory. Now. And cry.

( 1  ( 2 ( 3 ( 4 ( 5 ( 6 ( 7 ( 8

Choreographic thinking and understanding to tell and perceive differences and to devise situations. Environ-mental activation to produce experiences. Events. With a defined before and after. Making decisions to learn what one does not already know.


I saw I thought I remembered

A song of how do you decide? change

Become a memory now and cry obstruction then vision then waiting and holding then holding then seeing and bleeding then air and distraction then flip there’s a curve there’s an echo Become a memory sleep will stay or usher us a stranger now to situations new the effort to comprise and cry is all the soul can do a direction from the stomach that goes whoosh (a few meters in front to the right) but then I’m still here I’m not over there Become a memory sleep will stay or usher us a stranger now to situations new the effort to comprise and cry

16 17

Response from Litó


book 2 part 1

Florian Feigl with guest contributors

is all the soul can do There’s been a lance quick and sudden I’m not there yet but the tear holds fire enough to think through the parcels and listen to what they impede Become a memory sleep will stay or usher us a stranger now to situations new the effort to comprise and cry is all the soul can do and cry is all the soul can do

a poem

Shame on more of the same And rubber boots are made of oil A question of taste? maybe not Fall is when leaves change colours Deal with things one cannot see I saw I thought I remembered All that happens when getting closer Become a memory. Now. And cry.

( 1  ( 2 ( 3 ( 4 ( 5 ( 6 ( 7 ( 8

excerpt from On that specific pillow, Emily Dickinson … sleep will stay or usher us — a stranger — To Situations New the effort to comprise it is all the Soul can do, …


I saw LitóI thought Walkey with I remembered guest contributors

18

the index exists in two places

the as if it ’ s just about to happen series–book two of four


book 2 part 2

Litó Walkey with guest contributors

Litó Walkey with guest contributors book 2 part 2

Invitation to Jeanine

Expose an adjacency-event — and inscribe a testimony of it Again and again It turns what is in front of you so that vision of action escapes

a poem

elude your surveillance, elude your surveillance on the way to doing it turn a subject into a process stage a gentle sequence of push-leans working out of the worked out the index exists in two places what does an exhale look like? how do you know what happened?

( 1

1  )

Fail to grasp your close observation.

( 2 ( 3

As I watch over myself as I watch over while I am watching a doing, my watching-over falls

( 4

behind. It chases after, exceeds ahead. It catches voids and does not fit one picture.

( 5 ( 6

What is in front of me, turns into me in such a way that vision of action escapes, again and again.

( 7 ( 8

Convictions of subjective perception are rotated by events of radical decentring that bring pleasure-bearing adjacency. All the space formerly in the service of protecting, guarding, advancing the self is now free to be in the service of something else. – Simone Weil


the index exists in two places

Testimonials to Adjacency It’s only worthwhile playing in the dirt if you are willing to get dirty. You can’t see yourself from the inside But if you stand close enough, Side by side to your other side, You will disappear. Move fast forward into the bonfire. Move to burn the former part of yourself, the past particle, the past participle. Lose your self, completely. Leave no trace. Be the head that is the be head dead, That turns to face itself. Escape. Like the obverse portrait of an imperial coin, You no longer have the body that got you here. Experience yourself as just a little beside the point. Direct yourself, otherly. Everything will be fine. It’s lovely inside the heart that can hold itself, again. Resist the point and shoot tulip on Instagram And lay yourself down, facing the sky. There’s memory up there that floats northerly. Fred Astaire’s not dead, though Trump is alive in the minds of Men on Meth. You have to face that fact, once and for all. Give yourself back to the sea. It can take it. Imagine higher than the hardest mountain to climb. You can do it. No amount of selfies on your iPhone will get you back home. Plus, you left your flashlight behind, so, you’re pretty well fucked. In the distance you see a clearing, and beyond that distance, your house. Yet the closer you get, like a forever regret, you know, it will never be the same.

20 21

Response from Jeanine


book 2 part 2

Litó Walkey with guest contributors

book 2 part 2 Litó Walkey with guest contributors

Invitation to Florian

There will be a year in which there will be a month, in which there will be a week in which there will be a day in which . . . Observe a passage where one thing turns into another. Tell this as a line through frames of time that draws relation to yourself.

a poem

elude your surveillance, elude your surveillance on the way to doing it turn a subject into a process stage a gentle sequence of push-leans working out of the worked out the index exists in two places what does an exhale look like? how do you know what happened?

( 1  ( 2

2  )

Caught in the movement process of migration.

( 3 ( 4

We were awaiting something that in fact had already begun. – Erin La Cour

( 5 ( 6

Frames of time, specified intervals of engagement. Triggering and jumpstarting a fragment

( 7

that is just this and for now, that holds possibility of being joined by another fragment and

( 8

transforming into something else on the way, while going, on the move, along for a trip, a travel, a way through, across, migration.

A setting in motion with directional intent. An intention to move toward somewhere, but

not to get to a place. A place-seeking, not a place-finding.


the index exists in two places

Holding a 5-year-old on one hand and a plastic bag in the other I am looking at the brand new T-Rex skeleton in the natural history museum. I think of the plants T-Rex squashed when walking the environments of his times, 68 to 66 million years ago, which potentially turned into the oil used to produce the plastic bag (if plastic bags are actually produced from oil). A thought that re-occurs when passing a Shisha bar on the way back from work smelling the odours of apple-flavoured tobacco. Pieces of burning charcoal. (Mental note: Chew a piece of coal. Taste the Cretaceous period.) Of course I have to cry while feeling massively offended by the awareness of the general vulnerability of my species. The incapability to cope physically, intellectually, emotionally or for that in any way with universal scale is hopeless. But in a couple of million years some of us might be diamonds.

22 23

Response from Florian


book 2 part 2

Litó Walkey with guest contributors

book 2 part 2 Litó Walkey with guest contributors

Invitation to Juan and Johanne and to Suvi and Liina

Record a 10-minute conversation with your partner about: “Turn a subject into a process” and its corresponding footnote. Each transcribe only what your partner said. Work together to combine and re-order your transcriptions into one title and five sentences.

a poem

elude your surveillance, elude your surveillance on the way to doing it turn a subject into a process stage a gentle sequence of push-leans working out of the worked out the index exists in two places what does an exhale look like? how do you know what happened?

( 1  ( 2 ( 3 ( 4

3  )

The subject asks: “What am I able to do without feeling like shit?” The process answers: “Work like clouds.”

( 5 ( 6

A subject turns its head to the side

( 7

it turns to look behind and to itself

( 8

it stands in the middle of a crowded room and it stands in an empty room identified, defined, differentiated or non recognisable, non-distinct, unremarkable A dramatic turn of events occurs: The subject becomes a process. “Commit to the unlikely” it says. An invitation. A suggestive opening. The possibility for the thing as it is, to change.


the index exists in two places

24 25

Hold me like you’re always with someone and like you like you Chances of rain are the risk is activity I am you and you are me If we ask the listening if it becomes if listening becomes a composition A flickery voice travels above a field

Response from Juan and Johanne

turn a subject into a process conversation transcription I think we have to I took it very personally

Response from Suvi and Liina

I love love it I was on sick leave maybe you can be tired of asking why or what am I doing find yourself in india text is the voice of the movie exhaustion and time is the drama that has to happen you might be working with this all your life I don’t know losing it loose jump to a different place two things I’m obsessed with but I choose a completely other one this is how I’ve tried to survive destructive or not satisfied you can take the shit or exhaust the shit I’m most clearest when I’m in the process of an artistic work unlikely as a guide


book 2 part 2

Litó Walkey with guest contributors

book 2 part 2 Litó Walkey with guest contributors

Invitation to Zhenya

Use the example in the footnote to make a portraiture of five gestures. The portraiture necessitates an embodiment of navigation through aligning and dis-aligning components. Document the embodiment of this navigation through language in no more than 250 words.

4  )

An example

a poem

elude your surveillance, elude your surveillance on the way to doing it turn a subject into a process stage a gentle sequence of push-leans working out of the worked out the index exists in two places what does an exhale look like? how do you know what happened?

( 1  ( 2 ( 3 ( 4 ( 5 ( 6

Staging affirms a time and place where things will exist together—to be seen.

( 7

To stage is to stare and stand, to stand and stare, to stop at a place, like a platform, deciding.

( 8

A sequence is a set of related events, movements and things. Push and lean are physical gestures that also extend to notions such as overtaking, forcing, relying, supporting and preferring. And with gentleness.


the index exists in two places

This is an investigation It’s dark / It’s dark, but you see some things It’s dark, but you see me / It’s dark, but you see You see a door, but I will close it You see, I am in my underwear There is this quality that I will let YOU guess Because I need YOUR guess, just like you need You have needs / And you are here Not there / And even if you are there, you are here I am not sure how to call this “here” place I would say it’s a place that can remind of childhood But childhood is not the key / It’s just a reference to . . . this And three periods in a row means something is there I invite you to look at . . . this And figure out what can be there . . . There, in those periods . . . You see, you have to be here / And I know you are But to know that you are here / You need to remember Remember me pushing upside down? Remember me thinking of gravity and looking in the mirror? Remember me switching the lights off? Remember me behind that curtain? One can be manic / and obsessive and sociopathic / and delusional and broke / and afraid and ready to move / and ready to be misunderstood and not ready at all / and here and now and very very very much in doubt / and hungry and with no air to breathe / and on Facebook and wasting time / and exploited and and and and still

26 27

Response from Zhenya


book 2 part 2

Litó Walkey with guest contributors

book 2 part 2 Litó Walkey with guest contributors

Invitation to Tabea

On the same page but not taking the space of the other, draw a repetition where the intervals can perform together.

a poem

elude your surveillance, elude your surveillance on the way to doing it turn a subject into a process stage a gentle sequence of push-leans working out of the worked out the index exists in two places what does an exhale look like? how do you know what happened?

( 1  ( 2 ( 3 ( 4 ( 5 ( 6

5  )

This interval made of things gathered (of what’s there and not there). A simultaneous gathering and forming.

( 7 ( 8

Again the parts — have been, have happened, have impressed, imprinted memories and then holding, moving through these. Keeping them as they are, what they have come to be, as they have already occurred, trying to “just repeat,” re-enter, reproduce. Through re-occurrence and in co-occurrence, things change. The worked out intervals can perform together, making concrete assemblages into an event.


the index exists in two places

28 29


book 2 part 2

Litó Walkey with guest contributors

Litó Walkey with guest contributors book 2 part 2

Invitation to Helen

Consider this excerpt and its footnote and show more places. Have this showing exist or at least end up in the space of a 5.83 x 8.27 inch page in words or markings that can be produced by a digital typeset.

6  )

The synchronous is accurate to reality.

a poem

elude your surveillance, elude your surveillance on the way to doing it turn a subject into a process stage a gentle sequence of push-leans working out of the worked out the index exists in two places what does an exhale look like? how do you know what happened?

( 1  ( 2 ( 3 ( 4 ( 5 ( 6 ( 7 ( 8

This is a description of not making anything new. This is a description of a non-centric organising principle. This is a description of actions or images developing along a vertical axis. This is a deliberate deviation of our gaze. This builds through non-building and neutralises semantic effects of sequencing. This repeats the unintentional, void of decisions. This gives access to new conditions with old language. This considers the second time as initial as the first. This brings recognition without ever having been seen before.


the index exists in two places

30 31

unsolicited self-interview for consideration regarding position as assistant to Reb Anderson

Response from Helen

Please describe previous gainful employment. Started work at age 14 as busgirl at vegetarian restaurant in Rochester New York, and then as an offset pre-press operator. During college in Vermont: waited tables, library clerk, glassblowing assistant. Briefly substitute postal mail carrier in Seattle, Washington. Couple years as a museum preparator in Chicago — handling of objects large and small, and general construction. So-called professor of studio art, aka material and conceptual experimentation, for many years. In the context of role as full-time faculty member, in addition to teaching, experience on various departmental and university committees, thesis advisor for undergraduates, advisor for graduate students, etc What skills do you have that might be relevant? comfortable doing basic carpentry, and familiar with the range of common tools, and have taught others how to use them, though by no means a skilled carpenter attuned to both appropriate transparency and appropriate confidentiality informal tea preparation, incl matcha, sencha, bancha, oolong, pu-ehr material knowledge, incl textiles, papers, pigments long-distance walking What else might we want to know in considering your application? No priestly ambitions, though altogether glad to learn any/all aspects of the vocation. I’m not looking for something to do and this is something I would like to do. Interest in ink grinding. When are you available? from October 16 onwards.

address as of October 15 : 15 Muir Beach Overlook, Muir Beach CA 94965 sent to Reb 29 July 2016 250 word  / A5 11 August HM:HM


book 2 part 2

Litó Walkey with guest contributors

book 2 part 2 Litó Walkey with guest contributors

Invitation to Tabea

For the duration of this drawing, stay close to an emission of breath, especially before it begins and after it’s done

7  )

Stretching beyond any assignable borders externally,

a poem

elude your surveillance, elude your surveillance on the way to doing it turn a subject into a process stage a gentle sequence of push-leans working out of the worked out the index exists in two places what does an exhale look like? how do you know what happened?

( 1  ( 2 ( 3 ( 4 ( 5 ( 6 ( 7 ( 8

it is an emission of breath or vapour, It looks past time, beyond the frame, after time, before it begins, after it’s done. It looks like we’re keeping it going together, like things have fallen into place, like things are running on their own. It’s writing itself, the conditions are right, and we start before we’re ready. Everything is in the releasing. To allow, make available, surrender and to stretch out again. To inaugurate self-generated permission, and to become available for something else.


the index exists in two places

32 33


book 2 part 2

Litó Walkey with guest contributors

book 2 part 2 Litó Walkey with guest contributors

Invitation to Florian

Without warning, start in the middle and begin with the instant of today. Use the internal grammar of: “I-was-this” (I was scared) and “it-did-this” (it left a scar) to know what happened. Perform this and re-tell it in writing.

a poem

elude your surveillance, elude your surveillance on the way to doing it turn a subject into a process stage a gentle sequence of push-leans working out of the worked out the index exists in two places what does an exhale look like? how do you know what happened?

( 1  ( 2 ( 3 ( 4 ( 5 ( 6 ( 7 ( 8

8  )

I saw it, I heard it, they told me, she showed me, I was part of it, I remember it, something broke, something was fixed, I was offended, someone left abruptly, it took so long, time passed quickly, there was an interruption, I fell asleep, I hurt myself, I got lost, this other thing happened at the same time, it made me want to do it, I had to do it again, I had to learn it, I had to teach it, everything stopped, there was sincerity, it all seemed fake, I was scared, it left a scar.


the index exists in two places

I want an early start, allow the first tram to reach my consciousness and wake me up. Half asleep I decide against snoozing and the possibility of wicked dreams. I feel my back and immediately an overwhelming list of things materialises. My mouth feels unusually dry, my brains like whipped cream just not as sweet. The quote makes me smile. I think of doing the laundry. Then I put on the coffee machine and get the newspaper. The list is not a list but a pile of needs and wishes and tasks and duties all related to people close and far. Things that are mutually exclusive. One or the other. I think of moving bodies in space, different materialities and dynamics, qualities and grammars. I put down the newspaper, get a cup of coffee and think about identifying my own needs and wishes to single out simple tasks from THE PILE. Putting down the cup I take a deck of cards and rehearse a little card trick (the Lennard Green top shot, a flashy way of card production, far beyond my limited skills). I do the laundry and make a plan for the day. I change the plan over breakfast with partner and kids. I feel the grudges and disappointments. I manage to explain my needs and feelings. Several plans are changed again. I feel independent and competent. On the way out I pick up the IKEA catalogue and drop it in the recycling bin.

34 35

Response from Florian


book 2 part 1

Sources

Florian Feigl with guest contributors

Book Two Part One Emily Dickinson, On that specific pillow, c. 1881 Franz Kafka, Metamorphosis, 1915

Book Two Part Two Simone Weil, Gravity and Grace, translated by Arthur Wills, 1952 Erin La Cour, Response / One Events / AMCh Final Presentation, 2013

Workshop description

Gestures of portraiture In October 2015 Florian Feigl and Litó Walkey co-taught a workshop designed to initiate the first year students into the BA HZT course. Within the broader contexts of biography, identity and personal narration, portraiture served as a process-based approach towards small formats of dance, performance, composition and writing. Inquiries included: What possible transformations do biographical narrations undergo when taken apart and distributed into a group? What are possible relations between the personal, the biographical and research? How do single elements of personal resources change and develop when extracted and transferred into other contexts? Practical approaches included notebook practice, compositional strategies and practices, writing studies, studies with textures and material, spatial relation and drawing, reading, thinking, feedback and discussion in individual, small and large group constellations.


HZT teaching staff

Josephine Findeisen

Alistair Watts

Judith Förster 1

Simone Gisela Weber 1

Florian Feigl 1, 2

Juan Felipe Amaya Gonzalez1, 2

Sheena McGrandles

Renen Itzhaki

Litó Walkey

Britta Wirthmüller HZT student

&

Camille Jemelen

1, 2

alumni

guest writers 1

Suvi Kemppainen1, 2

Katerina Bakatsaki

Julek Kreutzer

Derrais (d.a.) Carter

Katrine Staub Larsen 1

Jeanine Durning 2

guest writers

Anna Lena Lehr

Arnold Dreyblatt

Myriam Lucas 1

Essi Kausalainen 1

Johanna Ackva

Liina Mariudottir2

Johannes Lothar Schröder

Asaf Aharonson

Magdalena Meindl

Joy Mariama Smith

Cécile Bally

Johanne Merke 1, 2

Rhys Martin

Sandhya Daemgen

Josefine Mühle 1

Helen Mirra 2

Katerina Delakoura 1

Lyllie Rouvière

Anne Schuh

Xenia Taniko Dwertmann

Zhenya Salinschi1, 2

William Wheeler

Ewa Dziarnowska

Sunayana Shetty

Rosemarie Eberl 1

Grėtė Šmitaitė

Ivan Ekemark

Julia Keren Turbahn 1

Forough Fami

Aabshaar Wakhloo 1

Tabea Xenia Magyar

ook two b part one

2

ook two b part two

all drawings

project editor : Litó Walkey copy editor : Karen Christopher publisher : HZT, UdK Berlin graphic design : Milchhof Atelier: Andreas Töpfer, Carsten Stabenow printing  : Steinmeier, Deiningen Special thanks to Tabea Xenia Magyar and all guest writers for their contributions to this publication. Thanks to Chrysa Parkinson and DOCH for inspiration from the format of The Dancer as Agent Collection publication. Thanks to Matthew Goulish and Lin Hixson for inspiration from their assignment for reading essays, recounted in the introduction by Jane Blocker for Matthew Goulish ’ s publication The Brightest Thing in the World. HZT — Inter-University Centre for Dance Berlin is the joint responsibility of the Berlin University of the Arts (UdK) and the Hochschule für Schauspielkunst “Ernst Busch” (HfS) in cooperation with TanzRaumBerlin, a network for the professional dance scene. Weblink : www.hzt-berlin.de ISBN : 978-3-00-055501-5

Authors 1

Imprint



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