174 / HOW TO SAY IT®
and friends is that short and frequent is better than long and infrequent. However, this is a matter of temperament. The general feeling is that it is delightful to get personal mail at all, and never mind whether it is short and infrequent, or otherwise. • Remember your writing teacher’s advice to “Elaborate! Elaborate!” Instead of merely reporting that you went camping, tell a story or describe something you saw so that the other person can almost see it. Almost any sentence lends itself to some kind of elaboration. • Include cartoons, newspaper clippings, snapshots, bookmarks, or other materials that are satisfying to receive and make your letter look like more than it is. • Postcards help you keep in touch when you haven’t time for a letter. Keep a stack of colorful, funny, or oldtime postcards near your letterwriting area and get in the habit of sending off a couple a week. This will make you popular and will relieve you of the guilt that unanswered mail produces in most people.
Special Situations • One of the best letters to family doesn’t even need postage: the notes or drawings put in children’s lunchboxes; the note in a traveling spouse’s luggage; the letter of congratulations to a hardworking student; the simple “I love you” pinned to a bedspread. These are worth many times their weight in the gold of family harmony. • When children are in the care of adults other than their parents or guardians, they should have with them a letter authorizing emergency medical help. In the case of summer camps or day-care providers, a form for this purpose is generally provided. But if you leave your children with someone for the weekend, write: “I [name] give permission to [name of person caring for your children] to authorize any necessary medical emergency care for [name of child or children] from [date] to [date].” Sign and date the letter and give a telephone number where you can be reached. • While it is rarely a good idea to write to unknown individuals who are incarcerated, it is generally a good idea to remember family and friends who are in jail or in prison—and with whom you have a close relationship. They appreciate mail. The first several letters will be awkward, but if you can establish some neutral subjects (books, interests, hobbies, mutual friends, social issues), the letters will become easier to write with time and practice. • When dealing with strong feelings, letters are effective because they distance people from each other and from the problem while obliging them to think clearly enough to put their thoughts down on paper. However, letters can also worsen a problem. Written words are not as easily forgotten as words spoken in the heat of anger; they