98 / HOW TO SAY IT® • Don’t be negative (“I don’t suppose you’ll do anything about this”). Assume the other person wants to be helpful (at least until you find out otherwise). • Don’t threaten to sue. This is generally seen as a bluff; people who actually sue leave this to their lawyers. You might—if you mean this—say that you are going to take the case to small claims court. Sometimes this can lead to a quick, inexpensive resolution. (Note that there are time limits on certain legal actions.) • Don’t accuse anyone of lies, unprofessionalism, cheating, stealing, or misrepresentation. You may be creating legal problems for yourself. • Don’t hint for free products or “compensation” beyond what you are due.
Tips on Writing • Write your letter soon after the incident or problem; details are fresher in your mind, and your chances of getting a good response are greater. • Be brief: a one-page letter has the best chance of being read. • Be courteous: the person to whom you are writing may have had nothing to do with the error and will be more willing to help you if you are calm and reasonable. When appropriate, include positive remarks: why you chose that product, how long you’ve used the company’s services or products, that you think this incident must be an exception to the rule. • Focus on one complaint or issue per letter. When you report in the same letter a rude salesperson, insufficient parking, a mispriced item, and a can opener too dull to open anything, you are likely to get (at most) a blanket apology and no particular action on any of the individual problems. • Place more emphasis on how the problem can be resolved and less emphasis on the details of the mix-up, your reactions and feelings, and what a disaster it has all been. Your letter should be oriented toward resolving the problem or arriving at a solution. • Help the other person save face. If you act as though only your threats and string-pulling are bringing about a settlement, you deny the other person their sense of themselves as decent, generous people. • If your complaint has several components (list of ordered items missing, series of events), set off these items in a numbered or bulleted list. • Keep a record of every phone call, letter, or other action you take, along with the dates, the names and titles of those you dealt with, and a summary of the results.