Amanda Andrew AJ Cooper Design
I’ll never forget the moment I found out the sex of my baby. “Are you ready?” the technician asked. “Absolutely!” I replied. The room was thick with anticipation and time was static. “Congratulations, it’s a BOY!” she finally declared. Wait…what? A boy? I was shocked. It wasn’t that I didn’t want a boy; I simply had not even considered it! Obviously it was a possibility, a 50 percent chance, and yes, I understand math and percentages. But in my mind it was done, a baby girl was on her way. Or not. As the news sank in and my pregnancy continued, I sought out the most adorable baby boy clothes and I put together a sweet modern nursery. And I worried. I worried about everything all first time mothers-to-be worry about. But in the back of my mind I also worried a lot about what kind of mother I would be to a boy. I am an only child and my own mother and I had a wonderful relationship with a really special and amazing bond. But how would it be with a boy? One friend chuckled and told me, “Boys are wild! You’ll have your hands full.” Wonderful. What if I couldn’t relate to a boy? Another told me, “Batten down the hatches” and “forget about owning anything nice for the next 18 years or so.” Finally, one of the only things my mom told me about being a mom to a boy before she passed away was “boys love their mamas.” Plain and simple. I clung to her words like a life raft in those first days and weeks after my 158
son was born. And you know what? She was right. And then some. This boy of mine, yes, he loves his mama quite fiercely. And boy does she love him back. And this kid? This boy? He is all boy, no way around it. One of his first sounds was “vroom.” Fast cars, motorcycles, trash trucks, fire engines, bulldozers and cranes are just a few of his favorite things. We dig trenches like they do on ‘Mighty Machines.’ We race like Lighting McQueen and we roar like dinosaurs. There are no dolls or dresses and, quite frankly, I am blessed for it. This boy, he lets me discover right along with him. I’m not re-creating my own childhood or putting expectations on any of it; I’m experiencing it all for the first time right along with him. I now have a favorite piece of heavy machinery - an excavator, I like that it digs really big holes. Do you know how many bulldozers you pass by in a single day? Now I do. There are a lot. Although he’s just turned three, my son has taught me so much. To see things through his eyes and to think outside of my own experience and interests in a way that I never could have anticipated is awesome. He is nothing that I feared and everything I had hoped for in a child. He is hardly perfect but he is curious and cautious, spirited and sweet and, most of all, he is open. And his gift to me? I can see it so clearly now. To be a mother to a boy who shows her the world from a new and fresh perspective.