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the essential art boy listicle writer Olivia Rodrigues

The fashion forward man has GQ, but where can the men on the margins of society turn for aesthetic advice? I’m talking about the men who might not be bulging to the brim with muscle and hair. Those who are different, who you can’t just “get”? I’m talking about the men who surround us everyday, and yet have no outlet which caters to them. New York Artboy, this is for you. Sitting outside by yourself, the presentation of your corporeal self appears more and more perplexing. How to shroud and swath these limbs that really, at the end of the day, only serve to carry around that scruffy (yet refined) revolutionary noggin of yours? The following key items should ease the isolation and hyper-masculinity that consume you. iconic white sneakers. Please don’t ask what brand. If you have to ask, you aren’t fit to continue on with this listicle. These sneakers work best when unwashed; the rubber sole should be worn down until you can feel the street grit between your toes and the living, pulsing, city beneath your feet. Wow. New York City. We did it, guys. what your mom bought from Kohl’s in 2005. Nostalgia, nostalgia, nostalgia. Simply take the years you’ve lived in New York City, multiply that by four, subtract that from 2000, then replace that number with 1977, and you’ve got the old New York City you’ve been missing. Returning to your old clothing is a perfect way to achieve an authentic Normcore look. It’s also a nod to your knowledge of vaporwave and virtual art. Your mom knows best, but you know better than to turn her prudent c l o t h i n g choices into a statement on ironic consumerism. the pocket trick. than an item always be your pockets like, “Wow, was in here.” from China Xanax, this will more effective way remaining chill has yet media involved, the Pocket

This trick is more of a mindset itself. The Pocket Trick is simple: sure to carry at least one thing in that you can pull out later and be what. Haha. I had no idea this Be it a daytime receipt Chalet or a quarter bar of establish yourself as the Alpha Soft Boy. A of promoting one’s personal brand while still to be discovered. And with absolutely no social Trick is really the best of all worlds.

a mesh face mask. This both conceals and reveals. Sexy, mysterious, upsetting, this mask has it all. What better way to extend your privilege than to wear a threatening mask out to Ghetto Gothic? Walking through Greenpoint at 4 a.m., no one will stop or fear you. They’ll just think, now there goes someone who knows his critical theory. Follow these guidelines and people will know exactly who you are and what you think of Zombie Formalism. Good luck!

Hoot Magazine: Fall/Winter 2016  
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