Dating Two Women Advice Dear Doc: I’ve been dating two women at the same time, for months now. I haven’t been disloyal with anybody, they both know of each other’s existence and have been ok with it up until now. I guess they were both thinking they could totally win me over so that I would then cut the other one off but that hasn’t happened. I was crystal clear with both of them as far as not being interested in a monogamous relationship and so I have no problem with continuing to see them both.
The problem is, that they’ve both become impatient and they’ve started to fight over me…at first it was sutile, a comment here, a comment there, but now it’s flat out war and it has become unbearable. I don’t want to lose either one of them but Idon’t think I can put up with this any longer. How do I go about this?
Dear Reader: Most westerners are trained to view monogamy as the desirable status, although it’s not always easy to accomplish it. It seems like in your case, you have been clear about your intentions, and, as such, there is no room for bickering since nobody has been misled. As you say, both this women probably agreed to your setup because they both figured they could win you over and then you’d naturally want to be with just one of them. What a fiasco for both these women!! Hookup with girls- with two girls is never easy for the three of you. It goes to prove one must always take a person’s word and not assume anything.
With that said, you have several options. Speak to both of them again and let them know that you are tired of the arguing and will leave both of them if it doesn’t stop since you are not going to choose just one. If you go down this route, make sure you’re ready to leave them
though, or else it will just get uglier once theyâ€™ve broken the agreement and you donâ€™t come thru with your threat.
Another option is to really sit down and think about these women to see if there really is one you can leave. That would probably put and end to this nuisance and you can go about your days peacefully. One important thing to mention though, is that if you leave one of these women, you best not think of replacing.