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Volusia County • December 2011

A monthly publication celebrating the active lifestyle of Florida’s boomers

No family? Lean on friends

Page 7

A family Christmas Eve in the woods Page 11

Sometimes, we need to let traditions go Page 6

The best gift of all The true spirit of the holidays is found within family and friends Page 4



December 2011




December 2011

Christmas around my parent’s small house was a big deal. Christmas Eve, it was a traditional Italian seafood meal and the opening of gifts. Christmas morning, it was gifts from Santa (until us kids were old and jaded enough to know better, and even then, my dad would sometimes slip an unwrapped gift under the tree for old time’s sake). Then, around 2 or 3 p.m. on Christmas afternoon, a giant meal of lasagna and prime rib (it was just lasagna for years, but my three brothers eventually voiced concern that it just wasn’t a holiday without a big honkin’ piece of meat on the table). After some belt loosening and quick cat naps on the sofa, the real event — my favorite part of Christmas — began. The Loiacono family Christmas open house. Folks we hadn’t seen since the previous Dec. 25 — and those we had seen just the week before — would come by throughout the day, some staying for


hours, some just a few minutes. Davey was always the first, bearing his latest girlfriend and a bottle of some fancy whiskey for my dad. Then, Johnny G., as we called him, a burly and bearded old friend of ours who was usually bearing not much more than a sparkling personality and appetite for leftovers. Wine and beer flowed, food was brought back out and inevitably, the evening ended with some sort of card game that my dad always seemed to win. As us kids got older, it was more our friends who were visiting, but my parents were just as engaged and friendly as ever. Seriously, my dad could be friends with a 14-year-old as easily as with his old Army buddies. To him, people were people and friends were friends, and all should be treated with love and respect — and lasagna. My parents taught me a lot about the importance of family and friends, especially around the holidays. It doesn’t take gifts or fancy parties to bring people together, just a loving spirit and welcoming home.

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Save with us New Reverse Mortgage Program Associate Managing Editor Jeannine Gage Photographer Randy Barber

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December 2011

The gift of family The holidays are seen as a time to gather family and honor tradition. For Boomers who don’t have family or are unable to be with them, there are ways to stave off the loneliness and depression that may creep in with the lights and tinsel By Laurie Sterbens For Forever Young

This time of year, media images abound depicting extended families happily gathered around festive holiday meals and glowing fireplaces decked with decorations. But for many Baby Boomers, the reality is that Grandma and Grandpa have retired elsewhere, their grown children are bound to jobs in different states, and in this economy, not everyone can afford to travel.

However, it’s worth it for families to make an effort to connect during the holiday season. “Research shows that people report more happiness as it relates to holidays and traditions when they’re with their family,” said Dr. Brigid Noonan, associate professor and chair of the Department of Counselor Education at Stetson University. It’s not the turkey or tinsel but the maintaining of family traditions See FAMILY, Page 14


December 2011




CALENDAR •Gingerbread Magic: The fourth annual Gingerbread Magic will be held until Dec. 23, at the Volusia Mall. For more information, visit •Festival of Trees: The Guild of the Museum of Arts and Sciences will hold its seventh annual Festival of Trees through Sunday, Dec. 4. The Festival of Trees is a celebration of Christmas trees and holiday decorations. For more information, visit •Holidays at the Beach: An oceanfront winter celebration will be held until Jan. 8 at the Bandshell in Daytona Beach. The event will include ice skating, music and lights. Cost of admission is $10 per person. •Holiday Open House: James Harper Fine Arts Gallery will hold a holiday open house from 6 to 8 p.m., Thursday, Dec. 1, at 44 W. Granada Blvd., Ormond Beach. For more informa-

tion, visit •DSC concert: Daytona State College will present its annual concert “Our Musical Gift to the Community” at 7:30 p.m., Dec. 1 and 2, at the NewsJournal Center at Daytona State College, Davidson Theater 221 N. Beach Street, Daytona Beach. Admission is free. For more information, visit or call (386) 226-1927.

Dec. 2 •Gala: Step back in time as The Casements Guild presents the 32nd annual Christmas Gala, “Deck the Halls!” The festivities begin at 7 p.m. The Gala will also feature carriage rides up Riverside Drive, an outdoor café, Santa and Mrs. Claus, and a visit from Mr. Rockefeller. The Gala continues on Saturday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. and Sunday from noon to 5 p.m. For more information, call (386) 676-3216.

•Christmas Tree Lighting: The City of South Daytona Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony will be held at 6:30 p.m. at South Daytona City Hall, 1672 S. Ridgewood Ave. No admission. For more information, call (386) 322-3070. •Movie Under the Stars: The Port Orange Family Days Trust will show a holiday classic triple feature at 6:30 p.m. at the Port Orange Amphitheater in City Center. Shown will be “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” “Frosty The Snowman” and “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town.” Admission is free. •Light up Flagler Avenue: The annual Light Up Flagler celebration will be from 5:30-7:30 p.m. on Flagler Avenue, New Smyrna Beach. For more information, visit or call (386) 427-2256. •Movies on the Halifax: “The Grinch” and “Elf” will be shown at 6:30 p.m., in Rockfeller Gardens, Ormond Beach. •“Dashing Through The Snow:”

The Little Theatre of New Smyrna Beach will perform “Dashing Through the Snow.” Performances will be Dec. 2, 3 and 4 and 8, 9, 10 and 11. The box office is located at 726 Third Street, Beachside, New Smyrna Beach or by calling (386) 423-1246. For more information, visit •Holiday Wine and Food Festival: The annual Holiday Wine and Food Festival will be from 6 to 9 p.m., Friday, Dec. 2, and 1 to 5 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 3, at Norwoods Famous Seafood Restaurant, 440 E. Third Ave., New Smyrna Beach. For tickets or additional information, call (386) 428-4621.

Dec. 3 •”Home for the Holidays Festival:” In downtown Daytona Beach, the French Market will be held in the morning, then from 1 to 6 p.m., the See CALENDAR, Page 10


Dec. 1




December 2011

When parents age, we must let some holiday traditions go


uring the holidays one of the more upsetting aspects of aging, for some, is the disruption of time-honored traditions that make up the flavor and dynamic of the family unit. We tend to place so much pressure on ourselves at this time of year that we forget what is important, putting too much emphasis on keeping the memories of past celebrations current without allowing ourselves to be flexible. Relieving the pressure we place on ourselves to have the “perfect” seasonal celebration might enable us to enjoy the moment and accept the changes that have occurred over recent years. Our family’s past Thanksgiving and Christmas feasts were always held at our parents’ home, which, for most of those years, was big enough to handle a family that grew yearly with the addition of spouses and significant others. When grandchildren started having their own children, the numbers


rapidly multiplied. After the inevitable downsizing move to a smaller home, we still tried to squeeze everyone into our parents’ place, wanting to preserve the ritual but ended up sacrificing comfort. Last Thanksgiving was the first gathering at a different location, which wasn’t too terribly traumatic and proved to be a seamless “moveable feast.” Provided those family recipes remained on the menu and everyone showed up, we realized it did not matter where the goodies were served. Christmas, however, always involved a lavish brunch in the morning followed by the hours-long exchanging of gifts. Mom always put on quite a spread,

arising before dawn to make special recipes requiring last minute preparations. Obviously, it has become more difficult for her to take on these tasks and dad, who used to assist with duties outside the kitchen, forgets what all the hoopla is about and just watches in confusion. Last year my husband and I stayed over on Christmas Eve so we could help out in the early morning hours of stuffing the pastries, baking the cheese cloud and setting a festive table, among other things. Working alongside mom, cooking dishes from her faded recipes, was bittersweet as I knew this was the first step in her handing over the gauntlet of our family’s cherished tradition. We left out one or two offerings to ease the stress and, you know what? Nobody even noticed. This “just let it go” attitude works in other aspects of the season, also. Instead of their usual trip to purchase a real tree, a one-step, pop-up, pre-lit version was ordered online. It may not

have looked as fancy in the daylight hours, but once night fell and the lights were turned on, it was just as festive as every other year, with a fraction of the work. And is there a law which says every single one of mom’s dozens of Santa figurines has to be unwrapped and set out this year? Perhaps she could display half of them this holiday, and the other half next. Even though we know that the giftgiving aspect of the Holidays is for the delight of children, as adults we might still mourn the end of an era that our parents are no longer capable of providing. We do not want to give up that last memory of joy upon opening a gift with just the right outfit or other surprise in a beautifully wrapped package that only a mother can produce. Mom always went a little crazy with the holiday shopping and produced mountains of wrapped presents See TRADITIONS, Page 18

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December 2011

"One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives." – Euripides, Greek playwrite

The gift of

friends Not everyone has a big family around on the holidays. But having a few friends to celebrate with can be just as good — maybe even better By Jeannine Gage

The Ormond Senior Center is always filled with people taking part in the several activities offered there. Bingo, dancing, cards, painting — many different interests can be satisfied. But really, everyone’s there for the same reason, Center Director Teddy Blauvelt said. To make friends. “While our center is very activity-oriented,” Mr. Blauvelt said, “It’s really all about the connection. To come and visit with their friends and make new friends.” It’s so important, Mr. Blauvelt said, that the center started a “friendship group.” It meets every Thursday at 11:30 a.m. Attendees just talk, tell stories and make plans for outings. It is the center’s most popular group, something that does not surprise Mr. Blauvelt. “There was a woman, she had just moved here from South Florida and she didn’t know anyone — wasn’t a card player or anything,” he said.




“She was kind of despondent. I mentioned the friendship group to her. She came the first time, hesitantly, but then just fell in love with it. Now, she seems much happier. She is the first one to show up every week — usually with baked goods!” An increased level of happiness in an older person who has made new friends doesn’t surprise experts either. The positive relationship between friendship activity and psychological well-being has been clearly established, especially for those who either live far away from their family or do not have any relatives left. “(Friendships are) critical throughout life,” said Dr. Richard Tucker, University of Central Florida professor emeritus of psychology. “But they become more critical when you get to a certain age and a point where you may have lost a spouse and are alone.” And the importance of having connections grows exponentially this See FRIENDS, Page 22



December 2011




December 2011




VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES Adopt-a-Road Groups volunteer to clean at least one mile or the entire length of a road’s right of way four times a year. The county has nearly 100 active groups. Information: Contact: Regina Montgomery, (386) 943-7889 or Adopt-an-Estuary This volunteer group focuses on the health of Volusia County’s estuaries by documenting estuary plants, animals and environmental conditions. Volunteers also photograph, measure and record changes in estuaries. Participants should be willing to commit to monitoring once every three months. Information: Contact: Georgia Zern, (386) 7365927, Ext. 2839

American Cancer Society Reach to Recovery Volunteers are breast cancer survivors who serve as a role model for breast cancer patients and provide information and support in a one to one environment. Opportunities for both Flagler and Volusia Counties. For more information on volunteering in Volusia County, call (386) 3669080 or visit

Citizen Observer Program (COP) Volunteers assist deputies in combating crime by patrolling neighborhoods and acting as extra eyes and ears for the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office. Information: Contact: Tim Lamprey, (386) 7365961, Ext. 6542, or

Big Brothers Big Sisters People who enjoy working with children, consider our Community Based Mentoring Program. There is a minimum one-year commitment of meeting with a Little throughout Volusia County at least twice a month for at least 6 hours a month after school and/or on the weekends. For more information, call (386) 366-9081 or visit

Citizen Volunteer Auxiliary Program This program provides professional, technical, clerical and computer assistance throughout the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office. Information: Contact: Carol Keesecker, (386) 7365961, Ext. 6544, or

Community Foundation Of East Central Florida A volunteer is needed who can take a web-based Data Management System and personalize it to our organization. Also upload data on our contacts and donors to make it easy for us to create mailing or e-mail lists for projects. This is a VIRTUAL opportunity and can be done from the comforts of your home. For more information on volunteering in Volusia County, please call 386-366-9080. Council on Aging Volunteers are needed in Daytona Beach to assist dining site manager and fellow volunteers in serving senior diners, packaging Meals on Wheels as well as cleaning the kitchen/dining area. Meals on Wheels Volunteer drivers are also needed throughout Volusia County See VOLUNTEER, Page 19















Calendar From page 5

H1035_FA1130v2 File & Use 11/09/2011

city of Daytona Beach will have the “Home for the Holidays Festival” on Beach Street. The activities scheduled for that include: the 13th annual Downtown Opry Reunion Show at 2 p.m. and 5 p.m. Santa with candy kids craft activities, carnival games, equestrian drill team shows at 1:30 p.m.and 3 p.m., hometown heroes displays (meet fireman with fire truck, police with motorcycles, army with military equipment, paddleboard demos by Three Brothers Boards. •Museum party and boat parade: The Halifax Historical Museum is having a family and friends holiday party at 5:30 p.m., which will be followed at 6:30 p.m., by the Halifax Yacht Club’s holiday boat parade just across Beach Street on the Halifax River. Cost of the party is $8 for members and $10 for non-members. For more information, call (386) 2556976. •Tree Lighting Ceremony: The city of Port Orange tree lighting and community choir ceremony will begin at 6:30 p.m., at city center. For information on the ceremony, call the Parks & Recreation Department at (386)5065851. •Christmas Concert: “The Messiah Suite,” an original composition of music by Susan J. Wynn will be held at 2 p.m., at the New Smryna Beach Public Library, Auditorium B, at 1001 S. Dixie Freeway. A time of healing prayer will follow the concert. For more information, call (386) 4272371. •Christmas Parade and Boat Parade: The “Lights and Sounds of Christmas” kick offs at 4 p.m., Saturday, with the annual Christmas parade, which travels from Flagler Avenue to Canal Street in New Smyrna Beach. The annual boat parade will follow at dusk in Riverside Park at the end of Canal Street. The event is free. For more information, call (386) 424-2175. •Elvis show: Bruce Rossmeyer’s Destination Daytona will hold the Elvis Christmas Spectacular featuring America’s most authentic Elvis imper-

December 2011

sonator Barry Porter, at 7 p.m. He will be joined for a second show by performance artist Perego and his sevenyear-old daughter Phoenix. There will be two shows for the price of one at the ‘Coca Cola Pavilion’ at Bruce Rossmeyer’s Destination Daytona. Santa Claus will make a special appearance. Admission is $10 per person and children 12 and younger are admitted free. All tickets go on sale at 6:30 p.m. on Dec.3 at the gate. Toys will be collected for the Boys and Girl Club of Volusia and Flagler County. Toy donation is not required. For more information, call (386) 671-7103. •Tour of Homes: The IMAGES Tour of Homes presents homes in New Smyrna Beach festively decorated for the holidays by area florists. A boutique featuring handmade gift items, is also open during the Tour, which runs from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 3. Presented by Atlantic Center for the Arts, the tour benefits the 36th annual IMAGES: A Festival of the Arts in January. Tickets are $20 each. Tickets will be available at the Images office, 214 S. Riverside Drive and Atlantic Center for the Arts, 1414 Arts Center Ave., both in New Smyrna Beach. For more information, call (386) 423-4733, or e-mail

Dec. 4 •Christmas Parade: The Port Orange Christmas Parade will be held at 2 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 4. Starting at Nova Road, the parade route runs east on Dunlawton Avenue to Orange Avenue. For more information, call (386) 506-5522. •Handel’s “Messiah:” The Chancel Choir of Coronado Community United Methodist Church will present Handel’s “Messiah” at 5 p.m., at 201 S. Peninsula Ave., New Smyrna Beach. •Piano concert: “Christmas Remembered,” a solo piano concert, will be held at 2 p.m., at St. Peter the Fisherman, 4220 Saxon Drive, New Smyrna Beach. Tickets are $7 ahead of time and $10 the day of the show and refreshments will be served. For See CALENDAR, Page 12


December 2011




A Christmas pig roast and a tree on the hill


or me Christmas has always been a time to enjoy family and lots of good food. As I look back over the years I must say I have fond memories of each and every one. But a few standout. One that I treasure happened in the middle 1980’s when my younger sister Linda, her husband and two sons moved west of DeLand to a little spot called Paisley. If you are not familiar, it is a very small rural outpost about five miles west of the St. Johns River that is completely surrounded by the huge Ocala National Forest. Their new home was situated on a very large and hilly lot. At that time, Linda and I had lots of extended family living around Central Florida and we decided to try and get them all together for a holiday pig roast. As roast

LAND LINES DAN SMITH master it was my job to go up to Pierson to buy a fully dressed hog of nearly 100 pounds. It was fun going to the country slaughterhouse to pick out our pig and spend a few moments with the man who had raised it. At my insistence it was to be the men who would do the cooking. First, I dug a long shallow pit and covered it with steel bars. Some of the others went into the forest and brought back truck after truck of hard wood. The night before Christmas Eve, we began by building a giant bonfire. As the wood burned down we shoveled the hot coals under the pig and readied ourselves for a long night. To do this job properly the hog must be slow cooked with lots of love

and attention. The key to the whole thing would be my secret recipe barbeque sauce of which I concocted about four gallons (you can never have too much sauce). As the night began, my helpers numbered about 10 but as Linda’s wellfortified homemade eggnog started to take effect, the men began to look for a spot to curl up and nap. Around midnight the cracklins (pig skin, for you city folk) reached crispy perfection and we all eagerly dipped them in my delicious sauce and ate our fill. Having regained our senses somewhat, a TV-VCR set up was brought out and we all watched one of the earliest versions of “A Christmas Carol.” As we hissed and booed Scrooge and cheered for Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim we poured whiskey all around, foregoing the eggnog this round. Now, for a big time pig roast like this See LAND LINES, Page 18

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Calendar From page 10

more information or to purchase tickets, call (386) 428-7383.

Dec. 5 •A free simple self-defense workshop for women: Will be held from 6 to 8 p.m., Monday, Dec. 5, at the Daytona Beach Police Department, 129 Valor Blvd., Daytona Beach. The program is for all ages, teens, adults & Seniors. Space is limited. To reserve a space e-mail or call (386) 2952043.

Dec. 7 •Girls Night Out Fashion Show on Canal Street: This event will begin at 7 p.m., next to Christmas Park on the corner of Live Oak and Canal Streets in New Smyrna Beach. Refreshments and door prizes will be offered.

FOREVER YOUNG Admission is free. For more information, call (386) 405-6468 or visit •Woodwind Chamber Ensembles: This Daytona State College concert will feature various woodwind chamber ensembles including the saxophone quartet, the flute choir and the woodwind quartet. The performance will be held at 7:30 p.m., Dec. 7, at the News-Journal Center at Daytona State College, Davidson Theater 221 N. Beach St., Daytona Beach. The concert is free to DSC and Volusia and Flagler County students, all others $8 per person or $15 for two. For more information, call (386) 226-1927. •Fundraiser planned for Frank Bruno: A fundraiser for Florida Senate District 7 Seat candidate Frank Bruno will be held at 6 p.m., at the MG on the Halifax, 241 Riverside Drive, Holly Hill. Suggested minimum contribution is $250. Holiday cocktails and hors d’oeuvres will be served. To make a reservation, e-mail

December 2011

Dec. 8 •The National Active and Retired Federal Employees(Chapter 2247): Will meet at 11:30 a.m., Dec. 8, at Oceanside Country Club for its Gala Christmas luncheon. The Kopy Kats will be the featured entertainment beginning at 1 p.m. For reservations, call (386) 677-0303 by Dec. 1. Mr & Mrs Claus will be attending the event.

Dec. 9 •Contemporary Ensembles: This Daytona State College performance comes as the culmination of a semester long course in the contemporary performance aspects of modern rock, pop, blues and country music. The performance will be held at 7:30 p.m., Dec. 9, at the News-Journal Center, 221 N. Beach St., Daytona Beach. The concert is free to DSC and Volusia and Flagler County students, all others $8 per person or $15 for two. For more information, call (386) 226-1927.

•Concert: The Myles Savage & Big Band America Christmas Show will be held at 7 p.m., Dec. 9, at the Ormond Beach Performing Arts Center, 399 N. U.S. Highway 1. For more information, visit

Dec. 10 •Walk Through Bethlehem: CrossRoads Ministries will hold Walk Through Bethlehem, an interactive Christmas event on two weekends Dec. 10 and 11 and Dec 16-18 from 6 to 9 p.m., each night. The Church is located at 1851 S Clyde Morris Blvd., Daytona Beach. Admission is free and everyone is welcome. For more information, call (386) 760-4807. •Tree Lighting: The city of Ormond Beach will light the town tree at 6 p.m., Dec. 10, at city hall plaza, 22 S. Beach St. •Parade: The Ormond Beach Home For the Holidays Parade will begin at 6:30 p.m. at the Casements, 25 Riverside See CALENDAR, Page 13

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December 2011

Calendar From page 12

Drive, Ormond Beach. •“Nutcracker Ballet”: The Civic Ballet of Volusia County will perform the “Nutcracker Ballet” at 2 p.m., Dec. 10 and Dec. 11at the Peabody Auditorium, 600 Auditorium Blvd., Daytona Beach. •Christmas Bazaar: Coronado Community United Methodist Church will hold its Christmas Bazaar from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., at 201 S. Peninsula Ave., New Smyrna Beach. •Climb to the Moon: Participants can experience views of the sunset and moonrise from atop the Ponce Inlet Lighthouse at 4:45 p.m. Dec. 10, at 4931 S. Peninsula Drive, Ponce Inet. Enjoy panoramic views of the ocean, inlet, and inland waterways by the light of the full moon. Toast the setting sun with sparkling cider and hors d’oeuvres provided by Inlet Harbor Restaurant. This special event is limited to 25 participants. Tickets must be purchased in advance by call-


A ‘roaring’ holiday

Dec. 11 •Christmas Cantata: The Church choir of the Harbor Baptist Church of Ormond Bech will present its annual Christmas Cantata “Mary, Did You Know?” at 10 a.m., Sunday, Dec. 11, at 428 Tomoka Ave., Ormond Beach. For more information, all (386) 677-3116. •Holiday Tour of Homes: A few of Ormond Beach’s most prestigious homes along historic John Anderson Drive will be featured during the fifth annual Holiday Tour of Homes presented by the Ormond Beach Historical Society from 1 to 5:30 p.m., Sun-

Hometown News File Photo

Marge Viviano ties a red ribbon around one of two lion statues at the end of her driveway along Halifax Avenue in Daytona Beach last holiday season. For 32 years, Ms. Viviano said, she has decorated her lions for the holidays, and every year she receives a Christmas card from an anonymous sender addressed to the ‘Red Bow Lions.’

See CALENDAR, Page 16

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ing (386) 761-1821, Ext. 10. •Santa Run/Walk and Toy Drive: The annual Santa Run and Toy Drive will be at 6 p.m., Saturday, Dec. 10, along Flagler Avenue, New Smyrna Beach. Participants should dress in holiday gear and donate a toy for the Toys for Tots drive. For more information, visit



Family From page 4

“Everybody doesn’t always come,” Sue said, “But whoever is available knows they’re welcome.” To accommodate crowds of as many as 30, they set up tables in the screened-in patio outside and serve dinner on paper plates. “We’re always very casual,” Sue said. The couple smokes a large ham and Sue’s mom, who lives down the street, bakes a large turkey. The couple admit it can be a big effort to host the large gatherings, but they feel it’s important. “That’s just what the holidays are for,” Scott said. While hosting such large gathering might sound stressful, Sue says she enjoys doing it. “I love to cook, so I’m in my element,” she said. With the Macy’s parade on television and family members in the kitchen helping to make pies, Sue said, “I just cook all day and visit.” The couple lessens potential

stress by letting guests contribute, and in recent years they’ve downsized the meal. “We’ve limited the menu and we’ve asked people to bring covered dishes,” Scott said. “Since it’s mostly family, we have some of the same things each year. We just assign those dishes to people.” “We have a lot of fun cooking, teaching the kids to cook and watching the Macy’s parade,” Sue said. “The nice thing is that we’re teaching the younger group that this is what you need to do,” she said. “When the pies come out, they’re all excited because they helped make it.” For families who don’t live in the same area, maintaining holiday traditions is more of a challenge. When travel isn’t an option, far-flung family members can use other avenues of communication to touch base during the holidays, Dr. Noonan said. “Whatever people can do to con-

December 2011

nect, using social media or Skype or any of those types of communications to at least try and connect, that’s the piece; it’s the connection relative to maintaining of traditions whatever that means to that particular family.” For some families, that connection might lead to conflict. In such cases, Dr. Noonan advises setting aside differences for a more appropriate time and place. “If you have some unresolved issues with family members, this isn’t a good time to solve it. Keep your lip zipped,” she said. “A lot of people don’t, and they find that keeping the lip zipped would have been a better idea.” Those who don’t connect with others during the holidays put themselves at risk for depression, Dr. Noonan said. For some people, however, reaching out is difficult. “People don’t know how to ask for See FAMILY, Page 17


that is most important, Dr. Noonan said. “For some people that might mean going and volunteering at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen or going to a local fire department, or it may mean just getting in the car and driving around and looking at all the lights,” she said. Sights and smells related to holiday traditions are also important. No matter which holidays families celebrate — Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa — “it primarily has to do with being together as a family.” Scott and Sue Chappuis gather family and friends at their Ormond Beach home throughout the year, but the holidays in particular are when they open their home to their large extended family, as well as friends who don’t have family nearby.


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December 2011

Photo illustration by Randy Barber/staff photographer

‘LIKE’ FAMILY FROM AFAR By Laurie Sterbens For Forever Young

Keeping up with family members across the miles and generation gaps can be a challenge, but it’s becoming easier as more and more families embrace social media. According to the Pew Research Center’s Internet and American Life Project, 65 percent of adults now use social media to keep up with friends and family, up from 60 percent a year ago. Among Baby Boomers ages 50 to 64, social networking site use grew from 20 percent to 32 percent in the last year. “While seniors are testing the waters, many Baby Boomers are beginning to make a trip to the social media pool part of their daily routine,” said Mary Madden, senior research specialist and co-author of the report released in August 2011. Along with social media, today’s smart phones make it easier to keep in touch with generations of family members on the go, so if you’re still sitting by that old wall phone in the kitchen waiting for the grandkids to call, maybe it’s time for an upgrade. Here are a few ways you can stay “virtually” close to family members, no matter where they are:



Ninety-two percent of adults age 50 to 64 and 89 percent of those 65 and older send or read e-mail on a typical day, but e-mail is already falling out of favor with teenagers, according to the Pew report. While e-mail allows you to instantly communicate as well as send photos and videos, younger family members probably prefer social networks such as Facebook and Twitter.

Facebook allows you to create a profile page where you can share updates, links, photos and videos with family and friends. You can also send private messages or chat with family members who are online at the same time. You can create a group for your family so that when a member of your family posts to the group, everyone in

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day, Dec.11. Tours begin at the historic Anderson-Price Memorial Building, 42 N. Beach St., or The Casements, 25 Riverside Drive. Refreshments will be served at the Anderson-Price Building. Shuttle buses will transport visitors to the homes as there is no walking or parking allowed on John Anderson Drive. Tickets are $25 for general admission, $22 for historical society members, and $30 the day of the event, if available. Tours are timed this year to spread out the visitors and begin at 1 p.m., 1:30 p.m. or 2 pm. Reservations are limited. Tickets may be purchased at the Ormond Beach Historical Society Welcome Center, 38 E. Granada Blvd., 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., Tuesday through Saturday or by calling (386) 677-7005. •Bed and Breakfast Tour: The annual Canal Street Historic District Bed and Breakfast Tour will be held

Dec. 15 •Holidays at the Casements: This event will be held at 6 p.m., Dec. 15, at 25 Riverside Drive, Ormond Beach. •Dance Recital: Daytona State College students will perform works in modern dance, ballet and jazz style at 2:30 p.m., Dec. 15.Free admission. Daytona Beach Campus, Theater Center (Building 220) 1200 W. International Speedway Blvd., Daytona Beach. For more information, visit

Dec. 16 • “Miracle on 34th Street:” This play

December 2011

will be performed at 7 p.m., Dec. 16, at the Peabody Auditorium, 600 Auditorium Blvd. Daytona Beach. There will be a Toys for Tots drop off box at this event. For more information, visit •Concert: The Daytona Beach Choral Society will perform at 7 p.m., Dec. 16, at the Basilica of St. Paul, 317 Mullaly St., Daytona Beach. All adult tickets are $7. Students and children are free. • “A Christmas Carol:” Daytona Playhouse will present “A Christmas Carol” at 7:30 p.m., Dec 16, 17 and 2 p.m., Dec 18, at 100 Jessamine Blvd. Tickets are $7 for adult and $5 for 18 and younger. For more information, call (386) 255-2431 or visit •Special Populations Winter Holiday Party: This event will be held at 6 p.m. Dec. 16, at the Nova Gymnasium, 440 N. Nova Road, Ormond Beach. The admission is $5 and payable at the door. This is a holiday celebration for the special needs community featuring dinner, dancing, games and

crafts. For more information, call (386) 676-3252.

Dec. 17 •South Beach Dance Holiday Spectacular: This event will be held at 7 p.m., at the Ormond Beach Performing Arts Center, 399 N. U.S. Highway 1. For more information, visit or call (386) 676-3241.

Dec. 24 •Christmas Eve Mass: Our Lady of Hope Catholic Church will hold Christmas Vigil Masses at 4 and 6 p.m., Dec. 24, at 4675 S. Clyde Morris Blvd., Port Orange. Parishioners are asked to bring a wrapped gift for a needy child with the sex and age appropriate tag on it to the 6 p.m., family Mass. Midnight Mass will feature a musical program featuring the festive choir and festival orchestra See CALENDAR, Page 20

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From page 13

from 2 to 4 p.m., Sunday, Dec. 11, in New Smyrna Beach. The walking tour highlights historic B&Bs that have been professionally decorated for the holidays. Treats and music also are provided. Self-guided tours are free and begin at any of the bed and breakfasts. For information, visit




December 2011





Santa For Seniors to assist homebound clients

Many Council on Aging homebound clients have no family near them during the holidays. To help these clients the council has traditionally sponsored the Santa For Seniors initiative. The purpose of Santa For Seniors is to give the community an opportunity to assist in providing a little holiday cheer for homebound clients. On Thursday, Dec. 8, Council on Aging, in partnership with Lohman Funeral Homes, will have three drop off locations for the public to drive by and drop off a gift of cash, gift cards,

Family From page 14

help because they feel they’re being a burden because it is ‘the season,’ particularly if that individual has just suffered a loss of some sort,” she said. “A lot of folks, particularly as we get older, we don’t want to be a burden. “One of the things the literature is really trying to stress is it’s important for people to get out and about.” For those who don’t have a family gathering to attend, volunteering is a good way to connect with others. Senior centers, YMCAs and the Volusia County Council on Aging can be helpful resources, Dr. Noonan said. There are also online resources such as, which has a section called “Be Involved” that lists volunteer and employment opportunities. This publication runs a listing of local volunteer opportunities every month. “It’s also OK not to feel jolly,” Dr.

canned hams or new unwrapped gifts for a senior male or female client. The drop off points include the following Lohman Funeral Homes’ locations: 935 W. New York Ave., DeLand 733 W. Granada Blvd., Ormond Beach Lohman/Cardwell location at 3571 S. Ridgewood Ave. ,Port Orange Santa’s volunteers will be manning each drop off location from 7 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Thursday, Dec. 8. Santa may be somewhat fictional… he lives not only in our hearts but also right here in our own communities. For more information call (386) 253-4700, Ext. 250 or 216.

Noonan noted. To lessen the risk of depression, she recommended avoiding excess alcohol intake and engaging in “environmentally conscious” holiday activities such as avoiding overspending and overeating. “What a lot of people do is they kind of go off their — whatever their normal schedule is,” she said. “When people do it for longer than two weeks, it can become a negative pattern of behavior” For family members, particularly the elderly, who are unwilling and unable to get out and about, Dr. Noonan said it’s important to have a phone tree, an elder care organization or family members who can check on them. “That is really important, because it brings peace of mind for us who have aging parents,” and for the parents, “it’s good to know that you’re being checked on,” she said. For those with large families, small families or no family, the holidays can be a joyous time — we just have to take steps to make it that way.

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under the tree each year for us as well as our children, and more recently, our grandchildren. She always took great pleasure in spending days of gift wrapping and last minute shopping, even as dad would complain about the drain on the checking account. Our gift this year is that we have them here with us for another precious season. Looking forward to future celebrations we can create new traditions for the younger ones and preserve as many of the old ones as long as we can. Down the road, our purpose should be to make these special family times as relaxing and comfortable for our elders as possible and proudly take that gauntlet and turn it into our own. A favorite mantra of mine, “It is what it is, provides a simple reminder that some changes in life are out of our control but as Dr. Seuss once said, “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

to be successful the animal must be turned regularly. That task required four men to each grab a leg and make the flip. Unfortunately, by 2 a.m. there was only a quarter of that number awake — me — and I was becoming undependable. A couple hours later, my first cousin Randy woke up long enough to stagger over and fall onto the picnic table, dumping out the entire four gallons of prize-winning barbecue sauce. As the sun came up, we were all asleep and the pig was getting cold. Along about 10 a.m. of Christmas Eve we were able to give the pig a couple hours of concentrated attention and the part that wasn’t burned seemed to be cooked pretty well. That afternoon all of the womenfolk began to show up

From page 6

Susan Young lives in New Smyrna Beach and spends her time loving and caring for her parents, children and grandchildren.

From page 11

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December 2011

Each family had brought a strand of colored lights from their own tree and we strung them on the big cedar. When it was completely dark we plugged it in amid “oohs” and “aahs.” Later we were told it could be seen for miles. with their delicious side dishes and desserts. That evening we all ate outdoors and most agreed that the hog had turned out OK, considering the cooks’ lapse in sobriety and hence, attention. No one but me seemed to mind that there was no sauce. Right at the top of the hill on Linda’s property grew a Florida cedar tree over 30 feet tall. Each family had brought a strand of colored lights from their own tree and we strung them on the big cedar. When it was completely dark we plugged it in amid “oohs” and “aahs.” Later we were told it could be seen for miles. Of course, the women began to

sing Christmas songs and the hungover men tried to join in as well as they could. It was certainly a Christmas to remember. Sadly, my sister Linda, who was a true baby boomer (born in 1947), passed away in 2003. But memories like these of that crazy pig roast keep her in our hearts — especially during the holidays. These days family is still so important this time of year. My wife Lana and I center our holidays around our daughter Shayla’s beautiful 8-year-old, our granddaughter Delayna. We would like to wish a merry Christmas to you all. Please enjoy each other while you can.

Volunteer From page 9

deliver hot lunches to homebound elderly within a specific geographic area and conduct a well-being check with smiles to see if the client is OK. Delivery starts at 10am from the meal site; routes to be completed by 1 pm. For more information on volunteering in Volusia County, call (386) 366-9080 or visit

Domestic Abuse Council Shelter volunteers are needed to assist staff with paperwork, victim contacts, up-keep of the facility, etc. For more information on volunteering in Volusia County, call (386) 366-9080 or visit

Halifax Hospice Of Volusia/Flagler Volunteers are needed to assist with the 22nd Annual Halifax Health-Hospice Tree of Remembrance at the Volusia Mall. You will be helping the oldest non-profit hospice serving Volusia and Flagler Counties and be bringing joy and hope to those who are remembering a loved one during the holiday season. Three hour shifts—7 days a week through Dec. 24. For more information call (386) 366-9080 or visit

Home Community Educators The mission of this volunteer group is to strengthen individuals, families and communities through education, leadership and action. Members learn about a variety of subjects concerning individual and family life, then share that information with others. For more information, visit Contact: Kathy Bryant, (386) 8225778, Ext. 5412, or





Jewish Federation of Volusia-Flagler A Great Family/Group Project! Organize and Collect Toilet Paper and Spaghetti! For more information on volunteering in Volusia County, call (386) 366-9080 or visit

Second Harvest Food Bank Food Bank Assistants are needed to assist with pulling food orders, helping load vehicles and assembling boxes. For more informatio,call (386) 366-9080 or visit The Salvation Army Volunteers are needed for many holiday volunteer positions in Flagler and Volusia Counties including Adopt-A-Kettle, AdoptAn-Angel, gift sorter & wrapper, gift distributions and toy shop. The Salvation Army also needs table cloths/covers, napkins and decorations for the tables during the Thanksgiving and Christmas homeless feedings, either purchased or handmade (decorations). For more information on volunteering in Volusia County, call (386) 366-9080 or visit

UCP of East Central Florida Holiday Market Volunteers are needed to greet customers, assist customers with purchasing items, and help take items to customer’s vehicles on Thursdays and Fridays at the United Cerebral Palsy office. For more information on volunteering in Volusia County, call (386) 366-9080.

United Way of Volusia and Flagler Counties Currently, the United Way Volunteer Center is recruiting for more than 175 active volunteer opportunities in Volusia and Flagler Counties. For more information on volunteering in Volusia County, call (386) 3669081 or visit to register online.

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December 2011

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From page 16

beginning at 11:15 p.m. For more information, call (386) 788-6144. •Christmas Eve Services: Coronado Community United Methodist Church will hold a family-oriented service at 5 p.m. and a candlelight service with communion at 11 p.m. For more information, call (386) 7886144.

Dec. 25 •Christmas service: Coronado Community United Methodist Church, will hold a combined service at 10 a.m., Sunday, Dec. 25, at 201 S. Peninsula Ave., New Smyrna Beach. For more information, call (386) 4286252. •Christmas Mass: Our Lady of Hope Catholic Church will hold Christmas Day Masses at 7:30 a.m., 9 a.m. and 11 a.m., Sunday, Dec. 25, at 4675 S. Clyde Morris Blvd., Port Orange. For

more information, call (386) 788-6144.

Dec. 28 •Holidays at the Movies: The Port Orange Regional Library will show “Christmas in Connecticut” at 2 p.m., Dec. 28, in the library auditorium, 1005 City Center Circle. For more information, call (386) 322-5251.

Dec. 29 •Scenic Historical Bus Tour: This tour is presented by the Ormond Beach Historical Society. This two hour tour includes the Ormond Scenic Loop, Fairchild Oak, Three Chimneys Sugar Mill Ruins, Ormond Indian Burial Mound and historic homes along the way. A knowledgeable tour guide will interpret the 30 sites on the route. Tickets are $20 for adults, $7 for ages 7 - 12, and can be purchased at the OBHS Welcome Center 38 East Granada Blvd. or by phone using Visa or Master Card.

December 2011

Reservations are required as space is limited. Call (386)-677-7005 for tickets or more information. Bus tours leave from The Casements parking lot, 25 Riverside Drive, at 9:45 a.m.

Dec. 30 • “Christmas with the Kranks:” The Port Orange Regional Library will show “Christmas with the Kranks,” at 2 p.m., Dec. 30, in the library auditorium, 1005 City Center Circle. This film is rated PG and is 98 minutes long. When their only daughter Blair leaves the family nest, Luther and Nora Krank (Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis) decide to book an island cruise to beat the yuletide blues and just skip the holidays. When Blair calls on Christmas Eve to announce a surprise visit with her new fiancée, the Kranks have just 12 hours to perform a miracle. Based on the novel “Skipping Christmas” by John Grisham. For more information, call (386) 322-5251.

Dec. 31 •New Year’s Eve Party: Flagler Avenue in New Smyrna Beach will hold its annual New Year’s Eve party from 8 p.m. to 2 a.m., Saturday, Dec. 31. Ring in 2012 with fireworks at 9 p.m. For more information, visit •New Year’s Mass: Our Lady of Hope Catholic Church will hold New Year’s Eve Masses at 4 p.m. and 6 p.m., Dec. 31, at 4675 S. Clyde Morris Blvd., Port Orange. New Year’s Day Masses will be held at 7:30 a.m., 9 a.m. and 11 a.m., Sunday, Jan.1. •New Year’s Eve gala: Daytona Beach Resort will hold a New Year’s Eve gala at 2700 N. Atlantic Ave., Daytona Beach. The event will feature music and entertainment by The Sal Ronci trio in the hotel’s main ballroom. The gala will introduce “casino night.” Included in the price of $50 per person, in addition to the food and drink, are free coupons for use in See CALENDAR, Page 21








•Classic Car Show: East Coast Cruisers host a Classic Car Show on the second Saturday of month along Canal Street, New Smyrna Beach. Admission is free. For information, visit or call (386) 547-4038. •Cracker Creek’s Pirate Cruise: Featuring the Pirates of Spruce Creek, cruises are held at 1 p.m. each Saturday and Sunday at 1795 Taylor Road, Port Orange. Costumed pirates create a live, interactive experience as young buccaneers learn navigation, pirate weaponry, knotting or rope tying and pirate lingo, all the while searching for the lost treasure at Spruce Creek. Pre–registration is required by calling (386) 304-0778. Canoe and kayak launch and rentals, guided eco-history Pontoon boat tours and golf cart tours of the conservation nature trails also are available. For more information, visit or send an e-mail to crackercreek@Old.

From page 20

playing the casino games and much more. For more information or to make a reservation, call (386) 6723770, Ext. 5215.

ONGOING EVENTS •Art Walk and Wine Walk: This event is held from 10 a.m.-6 p.m. the fourth Saturday of the month on Flagler Avenue, New Smyrna Beach. The wine walk portion of Art Walk runs from 1-6 p.m. and offers a progressive wine tasting along the avenue where participants can taste their choice from more than 50 showcased wines for $20. A monthly punch card drawing features a prize donated by one of the four sponsoring galleries. For more information, call (386) 428-1770, or visit



Happy holidays!

Hometown News File Photo

Andre Payne Jr. of Daytona Beach shops with Chief Michael Chitwood of the Daytona Beach Police Department and his mother Kathleen Payne during ‘Shop with a Cop’ at Target in Daytona Beach last holiday season. This year, 16 families will receive $250 Walmart gift cards from the Daytona Beach Leisure Services Department and the police department. SUDOKU PUZZLE ANSWER

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the group will receive a notification of the post. It’s only visible to members of the group. You can also chat with everyone in the group at once. If you have a webcam, you can use the video chat feature: Just click the “call” button on friend’s profile or chat window to launch video call or leave video message.

Skype Skype allows you to make free one-to-one video calls, so you can set up a “Skype date” with a faraway family member for a live video chat. With a premium subscription, you get group video calling, as well as unlimited telephone calls in the U.S. and Canada. Skype recently announced that users can now conduct “Facebook to Facebook” calls from within the Skype platform using Skype’s new 5.4 Beta for Mac and 5.7 Beta for Windows.

Twitter Twitter allows you to “follow” friends and family (or anybody else with a Twitter account). Form a group for your family and send each other messages via 140-character “tweets” from your computer or mobile phone.

Text messaging With smart phones, family members can instantly shoot and send photos and videos via text message or e-mail, so you can get an instant replay of Bobby’s T-ball home run and tell him “way to go!” while he’s still at the game. Smart phones also allow you to access other social networks from wherever you are.

Photos courtesy of Pat Kolfod

A group of gentlemen enjoy the activities at the Ocean Racquet and Recreation Club in Daytona Beach Shores. The club offers bocce ball, shuffleboard, horseshoes, pickle ball and many other activities. For more information, call (386) 763-5353 or visit

Friends From page 7

time of year, Dr. Tucker said. “Being alone and then you overlay the holiday season, and all the emotional ties that go with it — that can be very difficult.” Dr. Tucker, who serves on the Council on Aging of Volusia County Board of Directors, said while traditionally people think of the holidays as a time for being with family, friends are no cheap substitute. “While family ties are obligatory, friendship is voluntary,” he said. “With family, there is a whole history there and while things may be wonderful, there also may be problems. So being with friends you have chosen can actually be better for you.” Not to mention that family members may be of a different generation and not have much in common with their elders. “With friends of the same age, you may have a common history and much more in common,” Dr. Tucker said. Mr. Blauvelt agreed that having

“The Red-Hat Divas with Hatitude” enjoy a day of fitness recently at Cloverleaf North in Daytona Beach Shores.

Ormond Beach Senior Center 351 Andrews Street Ormond Beach (386) 672-4146 Council on Aging of Volusia County (386) 253-4700 relationships with people who are peers is vital. “That’s a very important factor that they have things in common,” he said. “In the friendship group, they are always talking about similar experiences — they really bond over that.” But it’s not just emotional ties that make friendships so important for older people, Dr. Tucker said. It can be logistical. “Someone may need transportation or physical assistance,” he said. “Having friends they can rely on expands their physical environment.” And those who are giving that assistance benefit as well. “It’s clear that helping someone is

good for brain wellness,” Dr. Tucker said. Which is why he suggests people who are alone look for opportunities to help others by volunteering. “It’s really about the social engagement,” he said. “So any kind of volunteer effort is beneficial.” Also, going to places like the Ormond Beach Senior Center, where there are activities and people to meet is a great idea, especially around the holidays. “We definitely get more people this time of year,” Mr. Blauvelt said. “There is an emotional attachment during the holidays and if they don’t have it with family, they really feel the


December 2011






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Please Tell Them...



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130 Entertainment



December 2011


802 Sterhaus Dr. Suite A • Ormond Beach, FL (Across the street from closed Florida Hospital)



A family Christmas Eve in the woods A family Christmas Eve in the woods Sometimes, we need to let traditions go Sometimes, we need to let tr...