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Anger Management FED UP OF LOOKING LIKE THIS?
How To Use The Anger Management Booklet As some people find anger the most difficult emotion to deal with, this can lead to a minor misunderstanding becoming a major problem. This booklet can be used with young people to help them understand their anger and help them to find better ways of dealing with problems as they arise. This booklet should be used on a one to one basis with the young person, working through a few pages at a time, preferably with a Teacher, Parent or Mentor. As it requires a great deal of interaction from the young person, it encourages them to think in depth, about their own behaviour. As each page is completed, another question is posed, in order to help the young person to understand that they are in control of their anger and can choose to react differently. The aim of the booklet is to encourage the young person to explore their own feelings and to try and understand why they feel angry and how to deal with their feelings in a more positive way. The completed booklet can be kept on file and looked at on a later date, when the young person can talk about how there feelings and reactions have changed.
DO YOU KNOW WHO THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD IS WHO CAN MAKE YOU ANGRY? You will be surprised at the answer!
There Is Only One Person On The Face Of This Earth That Has The Power To Make You Angry. That Person Is Yourself!
How can this be? To understand why, you have to know a little bit about people. If the same bad thing happened to ten different people, each one would react differently. Some might get mad, some afraid, some angry. Some might just feel sad. If someone pushed you so hard that you fell over, how would you react. Look at the following reactions, circle the ones that might apply to you. Cross out the others.
Run away Be angry
Scream Hit back
Swear Break something
Punch Push back
WHY DO DIFFERENT PEOPLE REACT DIFFERENTLY TO THE SAME EVENT? The difference is in the personal history of the person and how they have learned to deal with things such as stress, threat, loss or confusion. Anger is one of the emotions that some people use to respond in these situations.
We can use anger in a positive or negative way! Look at the following sentences. Put a tick next to the positive statements and a cross next to the negative statements. ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦
Anger can be used to lash out at others. Anger can be used to correct a situation that is wrong. We can turn anger inwards and feel bad. We can speak out with firmness to increase our self esteem. We can use anger to intimidate others. Anger can help us to get our own way.
EVERYONE GETS ANGRY! IT’S WHAT WE DO WITH OUR ANGER THAT IS IMPORTANT! SO YOU CAN SEE…… YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN MAKE YOURSELF ANGRY. YOU MAKE THE CHOICE TO REACT IN AN ANGRY WAY. WITH PRACTISE,YOU CAN CHOOSE HOW YOU RESPOND. YOU CAN DECIDE TO USE YOUR ANGER TO HELP YOURSELF IN A POSITIVE WAY. BUT THE BIG QUESTION IS;
IT IS ALL IN YOUR THOUGHTS! Your thoughts and beliefs can make you angry. Your negative thoughts can help you to hold on to your anger. Your positive thoughts can help to calm your anger down. You can control your anger like a volume control on the T.V. You can turn your anger up until you are raging. You can turn your anger down until you are relaxed and peaceful.
HOW? Look at the thoughts below. Cross out all of the thoughts that you think are negative.
It’s n to ot fai have t s u j r! I will patient be was an t i e b y a M It’s all accident your fa ult! ne Leave me alo a as just That w My turn next! joke is h t t u o lk ab I will ta ter la Stupid Idiot!
s erstand d n u e No on me
I will have to ask for advice abou t this.
Get lost ***
n! ! e t o nt t
Now can you see how you can control your anger with positive thoughts?
SO HOW DOES KNOWING THIS HELP YOU TO DEAL WITH YOUR ANGER? Well, now that you know you can control your anger, you have to learn how! First of all you need to look at how you respond when something goes wrong. Lets say someone hits you on the back with a hard ball.
Look at the possible reactions below and highlight the one which might apply to you. A. You immediately feel shocked, angry and upset, so you turn and chase after the person you think threw the ball, shouting insults as you run. B. You immediately feel shocked, angry and upset, you look to see if you can see who threw the ball, while trying to decide if it was accidental, then take the ball back and ask what happened and why. C. You immediately feel shocked, angry and upset, you look around to see who threw the ball, then go and find an adult to help you sort the matter out.
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?
LETâ€™S LOOK AT THE DIFFERENT RESPONSES RESPONSE A. Chasing the person while shouting insults: Is this response really going to have a positive outcome? PROBABLY NOT! You could end up upset and in trouble from any adults in the area for using bad language!
RESPONSE B. Returning the ball and sorting the situation out yourself. Will this response give you a positive outcome? PROBABLY! Well, as long as you keep your cool, things could work out o.k.
RESPONSE C. Finding an adult to help you find out what happened. Will this response have a positive outcome? ALMOST CERTAINLY! The chances are, an adult will get to the bottom of the matter and help you to find out what happened and deal with the situation fairly.
Using your anger.
You can see that although all of the three reactions began with the person feeling shocked, angry and upset, each reaction had a different effect on the person involved. So you can see once again that it is what we do with our anger that is important.
Think about anger; We can use it to lash out and hurt those around us, or we can use it to shout at others and intimidate them. We can turn it inwards and be angry at ourselves and ‘beat ourselves up’ about things.
Or; We can use it to speak out stand up for ourselves, helping to raise our self esteem. We can make our mind up to let it make things better for us, not to make things worse! Leaving us feeling ………
What makes you react like this?
FACT……..Everyone gets angry. It is o.k. to be angry as long as you don’t let that anger hurt yourself or others.
So, once you feel yourself getting angry, what can you do? We have all heard someone say “Count to ten!” Pretty good advice. Why? Because it gives you time to; • • •
think about what you are doing. decide how you are going to react. cool down! Other things you can try; Breathe deeply to cool yourself down. Feel your pulse and concentrate on slowing it down. Walk away. Tell yourself to STOP! Talk to someone about your feelings. Do some exercises. Think calming thoughts.
Learn to control your anger. DON’T let it control you!
Published on Jan 6, 2011