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April 10, 2014 | Volume 3, Issue 25 | Fayetteville, AR | @TheOdyssey |





Editor's note

LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO DO THIS SUMMER? If you are looking for some way to get involved this semester, this summer or even next year then the Odyssey might be a great place for you!


Ryan is a senior studying international business. You may contact him at

Our CEO, Evan Burns puts it nicely, saying, “Philosophically, we believe the only thing necessary for success is tackling big dreams and the commitment to see them through! It doesn’t matter what age you are, how much experience you have, or your background. That’s why we give this opportunity to others, because we believe college students can build and operate six-figure businesses, because we did it, too.” If you are interested you should definitely apply! We are looking for all types of writers including sports, fashion and humor. Now on to a few of the features of the Odyssey.

Even if you are not a seasoned writer we can help you become one. It is a great jumping off point for those interested in The online portion of the Odyssey has been completely revamped and upgraded becoming professional writers or even people who think their writing could making it easier to navigate and available on all devices. We also promote every use a little work. article on our various social media accounts to make sure it reaches the largest For some of the younger students or those that have never heard of the Odyssey audience available. Hopefully this has given you a little taste of what the Odyssey I’ll give you the general idea and a little background info on the organization. is and hopes to be this next school year. If you have any questions or would like to write for us then definitely contact me. Then I can share what new things we have added this year. The Odyssey was founded at the University of Indiana in 2009, and within the past few years, it’s grown to include around 50 campuses, with more added each month. It is an all-Greek news organization, written by the Greek community for the Greek community. The students on campus create everything from the writing to the editing and even the ads. The Odyssey is not like a traditional newspaper that goes out every single day; we are published every Thursday and delivered to all houses and some dorms. I believe that it gives us more time to create content that people will enjoy, instead of rushing to meet a deadline or fill space. Our main goal is to promote Greek life at the University of Arkansas. We want to try to buck the negative stereotypes that everyone knows we have by featuring the positive things Greeks do. The positive things that we do are so often glanced over for a better story on how we negatively impacted something. Through the paper and our website, we hope that those stories have the power to help change some of the stereotypes. For students to be able to see people from their fraternity or sorority in the Odyssey every time they open it is another big goal. This is where the readers come in. The executive team here only knows so many people, and we would really like to grow. Getting involved is very easy; you can apply to be a writer by going to: WriterApplication




Editor-in-chief Ryan McCready

Chelsea Mercer

Delta Delta Delta

Sales Executives Shelby Rinehart

Delta Delta Delta

Ashley Swindell Delta Delta Delta

Pi Kappa Alpha

Contributing Editor Katie Kortebein Pi Beta Phi

Social Media Editor Megan Pearson-Hargus Kappa Delta

WANT TO JOIN OUR CREATIVE TEAM? Apply online today at


888.272.2595 |

Now some people may be intimidated by the idea of writing for other people to read. It could be a bad Comp 1 teacher or some other reason, but at the Odyssey, all skill levels are welcome and encouraged to contribute. When I started I had no experience and found out that I really enjoyed writing. Our staff is comprised of people from all skill levels and it would be a shame to not have a potential great writer apply because the writer is too shy to apply.

Managing Editor, Will McGuinness Graphic Designer, Grant Hohulin

We want a representative from every house!

To apply for a writing, photography or sales position, © 2014 Olympia Media Group, LLC All Rights Reserved. The Odyssey is a private entity not associated or governed by University of Arkansas or Arkansas Greek life office. The views and opinions shared in The Odyssey are those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of The Odyssey and Olympia Media Group.

Self survival



Now that the last week of spring breaks is over, we are all exhausted and ready for summer. Unfortunately, the last six weeks of school are going to be the toughest yet.

run. Freeze some grapes, and take them with you to the park to study.


Leigha is a freshman studying journalism, advertising & PR. You may contact her at

How do you survive when you just spent a week on a dirty beach with thousands of college students and you have a paper worth one third of your grade due on Monday? Here are some tips to help you survive school until finals. 1) Find a new study space- Chances are that you have grown tired of where you usually study and you have already found ways to distract yourself when you try to work there. If you usually study in your room, try the library. Also, with the warm weather of springtime, there are many options for studying at parks. 2) Exercise- As annoying as it can be, exercise really can help in many ways to survive until summer. Exercise does not have to be time consuming; it can be a great 30 minutes study break to de-stress. 3) Deactivate social media- Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram and others are just distractions. Deactivate them for the remainder of the semester and all this time that you thought you did not have suddenly appeared. Include Netflix in this category too. 4) Make study groups- Studying with other people is almost always helpful. Other students probably heard something that you did not or understood something better than you did. You can help each other create ways to remember and understand the information. 5) Make a motivation wall- Summer is close. It is acceptable to start a countdown. Also, put up inspiring quotes and pictures. 6) Make a to- do list- Nothing feels better than having a long list and slowly but surely crossing off each deed that is done. It will help you stay on track and feel accomplished. 7) Eat healthy- It is proven fact that you and your body feel significantly better when you eat healthier. Sure the Oreos seem like a great comfort food after you just bombed your economics test, but having healthy snacks will make you feel better in the long

8) Live in the moment- Yes school is the most crucial thing in your life right now but college is a little more than that. It is about making relationships and experiences that will last. Whatever year of college you are in, it is almost over. We are all that much closer to the real world. Take advantage of opportunities, enjoy your friends, and live in the moment.



Morgan is a junior studying political science. You may contact her at

It can be difficult to create the best class schedule. There are many things to consider before you finish enrolling. So how do you select classes that guarantee less stress and better days? Here are a few tips. 1. Time Think about what time of day you prefer. Are you a morning person? (Doubtful). Mid-morning is a good place to start. Not too early that you can’t get yourself out of bed but early enough that you’re not on campus until early evening, which can completely throw off any social plans you might have. Also, if you live off campus it’s a good idea to think about stacking your classes together to allow for only one trip to campus a day. You’ll spend less on gas, and you’re more likely to actually attend all of your classes. If you’re an underclassman, it’s likely that you’ll have to take an 8 a.m. Remember to schedule in a little nap time between classes or some time to change out of your morning class pajamas. This is a lifesaver. Just wake up for your afternoon classes. Finally, Friday afternoons are a black hole for productivity. You’ll find yourself missing this class more than any other, even if you promise yourself you’ll go every week. It’s just not going to happen. 2. Proximity The additional five minutes between classes was much needed this semester, but it is still a trek between Old Main and the HPER. Remember when you are choosing classes, especially for the Fall semester that it is HOT. The heat alone in August will slow you down, and those hills will for sure get you. Having classes in the same area of campus will allow you to actually take a small break between classes. You’ll be less brain dead when the lectures begin if you allow yourself a little breathing room.

3. Professor Of course, will get more hits in the next few weeks than most other sites. Don’t forget to check the site for feedback from other students. Be smart about it though, not all classes taught by the same professor are the same, and students’ opinions toward them vary. Even if the site says the professor you are about to take is “the hardest ever and unreasonable” doesn’t mean that you can prove that wrong. Not every class is going to be like Music Lecture, folks. Time and effort is required for most courses. Take that with a grain of salt, because, notably, a professor can make or break you. 4. Class Size Depending on your major, class size can be very important. All of you biology majors might be out of luck, because your classes are bound to be jammed. As for the rest of us, class size can determine how much work you have, how many projects, what kind of people are in your classes and how much discussion is required to make an “A.” In many classes 1020 percent of the class grade can be purely based on how much you speak up in class. If that makes you nervous, consider taking classes that only have 20-30 kids in them. 5. Extras One of the worst things is attending class the second week of the semester and the professor announcing that it is required that you take an SI with that course. If you work, or are apart of lots of extracurriculars it is important to figure out if you are going to have to take a drill or SI. These are once a week, and can really through off an entire day. If your week-to-week calendar is already full, don’t take a class that requires these annoying extras. They can be helpful in hard courses though! 6. Required v. Elective Remember that many of the classes that you are going to enroll in in the next few weeks are required for your degree. It might end up that you have to take the worst professor on campus, which requires you to attend SI, at eight o’clock in the morning. Some of that is bound to happen to you in your four years at the U of A. So remember that when your enrolling in a class that stresses you out just looking at it in your “Shopping Cart.” Semester go by FAST. It might be painful, but that necessary evil is doable.

Scene on campus


REASONS WHY FAYETTEVILLE IS FAYETTE-CHILL The unique culture of Fayetteville is easily overlooked at this time. Students’ minds are focused on the crunch before finals, dreaming of summer and fondly remembering the beaches visited over spring break. We take for granted how much there is to be grateful for right here in Fayetteville. My boyfriend lives in Rogers; he’s nearly always pointing out the beautiful, little things of Fayetteville. For instance, in most places you risk your life if you mistakenly step out in traffic, but in our cozy little city, every car stops and politely waves you onward. Since the weather’s warming up, you can almost always spot a jogger decked out in sorority or fraternity wear running around campus. Equally you can find free-spirited, dreaded youth walking their dogs to Wilson Park or setting up a hammock in a totally crazy spot you would never think of. Stressed from school? Get some fresh air on the walking/biking trails. If you keep your eyes peeled, you can find some pretty beautiful messages in the graffiti by the train tracks. You could get a group of people to play Frisbee with. If you love eating crepes, but can’t bear to part with your dog, there are tables outside of Arsagas to enjoy. There are a few bars on Dickson that open up outside seating when the weather’s nice. You can grab a beer and relax while feeling the breeze on your face (if you’re of age, obviously). If you ever get tired of the Mullins scene, the Fayetteville Public Library has a beautiful view of the town and tons of reading room. The Fayetteville Public Library mentioned in USA

Today as one of 10 libraries to see in the United States. It’s free to join if you’re a Fayetteville resident, and if books aren’t your thing, you can rent recently released movies there without the Blockbuster charge. Plus the public library sells coffee.


Hannah is a sophomore studying psychology & creative writing.

However, if you and your sorority sisters/ fraternity brothers need a break from the study grind Devil’s Den is a short drive away, or you could have a meaningful conversation on top of Mount Sequoya. It’s important to keep your body in good health if you’re hoping to ace impending exams. Check out the Fayetteville Farmer’s Market for some fresh, local grown food. It was voted #1 Nationally for America’s favorite large market in 2012, and you can catch live music on the street corners there. Basically what I’m trying to say is, if you are feeling those post-Spring break blues keep in mind Fayetteville may not be Panama City, but it still has some pretty awesome aspects to help you survive the last few weeks before summer break.


Self health & fitness

HOW TO BEAT SPRING ALLERGIES It is finally starting to feel like spring here at the U of A. The freezing winter season is gradually starting its departure, making way for the warm sunny days of spring and summer.


Kappa Kappa Gamma Bridgette is a freshman studying journalism and political science major. You may contact her at

Soon the campus will be crawling with students in Chacos, bro-tanks and Nike running shorts (aka ‘norts’). The ideas of days at the pool and nights sitting around a campfire with friends are taking over students’ minds, making the last month of school seem like forever. However, everyone knows that springtime is drug stores favorite time of year with all the fresh allergies buzzing in the air. Customers come sulking through the doors with puffy eyes and watery noses, asking for the miracle drug to make it all go away. Whether you have dealt with allergies for years or have recently developed them, there are steps you can take to make your spring snot and teary free. Get tested by a doctor. For people who have never been tested for allergies and who are experience symptoms, this is worth considering. Through an allergy test, a doctor will be able to pin-point what your allergies are and what medication will be the most helpful. Don’t skip on the over-the-counter allergy medication. By taking an over-thecounter medication, you could prevent a costly trip to the doctor’s office and miserable days of runny noses and itchy eyes. Medicines like Claritin, Allegra, and saline nose sprays are proven to be effective for the seasonal allergy. These medicines fit easily in a purse or backpack, ready for use whenever. Prepare your home. There are steps you can take to allergy proof your home. Wash your bed sheets and pillowcases once every week. Sleeping in sheets infested with pollens will not benefit you during allergy season. On another note, it is beneficial to keep windows closed. Yes, the weather is nice, and the cool air is refreshing in a home. That air carries allergens, though. By keeping windows closed, the allergens will have a tougher time entering a home. Personal hygiene. First and fore most, take showers daily, but very hot water can irritate the skin. Showering twice a day is suggested if you are spending excessive time outside. The various pollen allergens can collect on your clothes, skin, and hair, which is why good hygiene rituals will keep you healthy during allergy season. Keep your immune system strong. One way to strengthen the immune system is by eliminating overly processed foods, sugars and sodas from your diet. Tests have proven sugars to be a fast acting suppressor to the immune system, making the body more susceptible to allergens. An easy way to eliminate sugar from your diet is to reach

for something salty like pretzels when a craving arises. Pay attention to the pollen count. Knowing the current pollen count in your area will provide insight as to what precautions should be taken to prevent allergic reactions. If you are going to be spending excessive amounts of time outside during a high pollen count time, wear a mask over your mouth and nose to keep the allergens from being inhaled. Also wearing sunglasses or goggles during outside actives will prevent the allergens from entering your eyes. There is no harm in preparing early for the spring allergy season. Attacking the season with allergy preventatives will make your spring healthier and happier. Because who wants to be sitting inside with a runny nose and watery eyes when it is sunny and 75 outside?

Sports NCAA

NO REPRESENTATION WITHOUT COMPENSATION T h e re q u e s t b y Northwestern football players for the opportunity to unionize has shaken up the NCAA.

This unionization would classify the members of the football team as employees of the university and would allow for players to earn a “wage.”




A s h l e i g h i s a s o p h o m o re studying biochemistry and sports management. You may contact her at

As far as logistics are concerned, this proposition could actually end up saving Northwestern a crazy amount of money, something that the players who are so diligently fighting for payment seem to have overlooked. If players were to unionize and the university became the sole employer of said players, the stipulations placed within player contracts could end up causing the players to totally deplete their “income” in order to remain a student athlete. This means that the university has the right to require that the student pay for their own equipment, medical and training fees and travel expenses. They can even pull funding for athletic program scholarships. So, how does that unionization look now? Not so great, huh? I can only speculate, but I am sure that the Northwestern football team meant something a little different when requesting payment for their talents. However, I as a student can also speculate that there will be a lot of very upset students if these young men are allowed to unionize according to their original requests. These boys want money. They want Northwestern University to fund their private education. They want Northwestern to fund their travel expenses, medical and training fees, and the transition to a new uniform every two years. AND they want Northwestern University to throw in a couple of extra bucks. As if unspoken special treatment of athletes isn’t enough. I am not claiming that payment already occurs. We all have or have had a class with an athlete. We all respect their efforts to balance a college career and an athletic career with a little extra help from professors and lab TA’s and department heads so that they can help lead our school to victory and ultimately help fund the educational

But, if you want to get right down to it, athletes work about as hard as a student with two majors who is also in a pre-professional program with multiple extra-curricular activities including club sports, jobs and volunteer commitments. So why doesn’t the university just pay all of its hardworking students? I wouldn’t mind making $7.25 an hour for all of my extra time spent in the library or working at the VAC or practicing for a club hockey tournament. Non-athlete students are not the only ones who are critical of the proposition. Numerous professional athletes have come forward in the conversation regarding the payment of college athletes. One athlete said that he missed the “innocence” of college football. This makes complete sense in the mind of someone who has entered the professional world after receiving an education that was virtually free and extremely relaxed. Once you get to the point where sports become a profession, you then must worry about lawyers and salary adjustments and free agency. It isn’t as fun as it sounds. If you as a player are decent enough to attend school for free, don’t get greedy. The university pays for your food, your housing, your books, your tuition, your equipment, your travel, and many times, a majority of your clothing. You do not NEED a brand new car or an extra salary when everything you need is right in front of you. If you are a walk on or you are receiving a scholarship that is less than satisfactory or feel that you need supplementation, you might want to reconsider your commitment or request an increase in funding for scholarships. Depending on the status of your university, they will generally help you out with whatever assistance you may need. If you are that ready to get paid, either work hard and get into the draft early or move on. I don’t mean to sound bitter. I understand the emotional, physical, and psychological strain that comes with the collegiate athlete territory. I also understand the strains that come with being a full time student with three unpaid internships. But sometimes, to get to the top takes sacrifice. It takes experience. Experience does not know the value of a dollar.


Adventure traveling


As a veteran Spring Breaker, I sadly took this past year off in order to work and save money for my summer study abroad program.

KARA SAULSBURY Delta Delta Delta

Yes, my heart shattered Kara is a junior studying into a million little communication disorders. pieces every time I got You may contact her at on Instagram and saw everyone having the time of their lives while I sat bored at work in NWA. I did learn a few things from my two years in Destin, though. So let’s take a look back so we can all come to terms with what you should not have done on Spring Break. No shame. No RAGRETS. You didn’t consider your group: Choosing who you are going to live with for a week is a big deal. If you go with people you don’t know too well, it’s risky. Big groups can cause big drama, too. In my sophomore year, my friends carefully considered who we wanted to go with and we called it “The Spring Break Draft.” You killed your liver: a breaking does some damage not only to your wallet but also to your liver. I think spring break should be two weeks -- one week to enjoy and one week to recover. Can we make this happen? You didn’t take care of your house/condo: It’s all fun and games until you don’t get your $500

deposit back. Next time take care of the place where you stay. Don’t punch holes in the wall, take out the trash regularly, lock the doors when you are gone, etc.. One night our neighbors came into our condo and stole a neon shark sign that was hanging on our wall. Our condo was called the “Neon Shark.” They took the one thing the condo was named after... You didn’t have a DD: Always plan ahead and have a DD. Nothing is worse than being stranded in a semi-unfamiliar area and having to shell out money for a cab or call everyone in your contacts list to find a way to get home. You forgot to reapply sunscreen: Whether you went to the beach or to the slopes, if you forgot sunscreen I feel bad for you, son. I’ve got 99 problems, but a sunburn ain’t one. I learned that lesson the hard way, multiple times. You partied with (creepy) strangers: Now, don’t get me wrong, I love meeting new friends, but there is something about Spring Break that brings out the creepers. Meeting up with some guys you met on the beach that day is fun until its 2 A.M. You don’t know where any of your friends are, your phone is dead and you are sitting with some Alpha Kappa Chi Delts (is that even a fraternity?!) from a school you have never heard of. Sketchy. You started or were involved in some drama with your significant other: If your boyfriend or girlfriend came with you on spring break, y’all probably got into a big fight. If y’all were in separate locations for spring break, y’all probably still got into a fight. There is no way to win in this department except to be solo on your next spring break. Just kidding, sort of. You didn’t keep an eye on your account balance: I am the guiltiest of the guilty on this one. Picture me driving down 540, just coming down the hill with Old Main in sight when I decide to check my bank account and see that I have $10.47 left to last me the rest of the semester. You got arrested. This one is pretty self explanatory, but it makes for a good story and at least your picture wasn’t online for all of the UofA to see...

WHAT SORORITY SHOULD I HAVE JOINED?- A BUZZFEED-ESQUE SURVEY Anyone who loves internet procrastination as much as we do hopefully has made it over to the time vacuum know as Buzzfeed. One thing Buzzfeed is known for is its quizzes, and when we saw one about

Alex Serrano - Actual: Kappa Delta / Quiz Answer: Zeta Tau Alpha Lauren Randall - Actual: Alpha Delta Pi / Quiz Answer: Zeta Tau Alpha Abby Walstad - Actual: Pi Beta Phi / Quiz Answer: Zeta Tau Alpha

which sorority the girls should have pledged, we just had to take it. Also, as

Sydney Cason - Actual: Zeta Tau Alpha / Quiz Answer: Kappa Kappa Gamma

one of the writers found out, you could actually get “GDI.” Here are the results:

Hannah Henderson - Actual: Delta Delta Delta / Quiz Answer: Kappa Kappa

Rachel Rawlings - Actual: Pi Beta Phi / Quiz Answer: Zeta Tau Alpha


Katie Kortebein - Actual: Pi Beta Phi / Quiz Answer: GDI

Kayla Eiffert - Actual: Kappa Delta / Quiz Answer: Zeta Tau Alpha

Katie Hicks - Actual: Pi Beta Phi / Quiz Answer: Delta Gamma

Haley Ethridge - Actual: Alpha Omicron Pi / Quiz Answer: Delta Zeta

Avery Zooglman - Actual: Kappa Delta / Quiz Answer: Zeta Tau Alpha

Alex Perez - Actual: Alpha Omicron Pi / Quiz Answer: Alpha Omicron Pi

Chelsea Mercer - Actual: Delta Delta Delta / Quiz Answer: Alpha Omicron Pi

Morgan Johnson - Actual: Pi Beta Phi / Quiz Answer: Zeta Tau Alpha

Ashleigh Giovannini - Actual: Delta Delta Delta / Quiz Answer: Alpha

Ashley Swindell - Actual: Delta Delta Delta / Quiz Answer: Zeta Tau Alpha

Omicron Pi Megan Pearson Hargus - Actual: Kappa Delta / Quiz Answer: Zeta Tau Alpha

Laura Selak - Actual: Delta Delta Delta / Quiz Answer: Kappa Kappa Gamma

Adventure traveling

YOUR NOT-SO-TYPICAL SPRING BREAK For most college students, “March ALEXANDRA Madness” has a SERRANO different meaning to Kappa Delta it-I’m talking about Alexandra is a sophomore studying communication. spring break. Ah yes, You may contact her at the infamous week of college where one will probably lose their phone, clothes and dignity, and is usually referred to as the best week of their life that they never want to experience again. Every year, it seems as if thousands of college students make their way to the sandy beaches and experience a week they prooooobably won’t remember. The saying “I’ll try anything once!” definitely comes to mind.

Not everyone is a beach bum, however. Even though the idea of a stereotypical spring break is appealing and can be a lot of fun, there seemed to have been


more and more people that ventured out and explored different areas of the United States for their break instead of partaking in the usual chaos that is PCB. Some seemed to enjoy the break in the snowy mountains. Some people decided to save some money and make their way home for spring break. And hey, that’s okay too. Who doesn’t love their own bed, their mom’s cooking and catching up on some sleep?! Another friend of mine hiked and rode bikes through the mountains in Santa Fe and met some of the awesome locals, giving them a new perspective of the city. Other friends decided to give back and sacrifice a week of relaxation to volunteer in Honduras for a week. I, for one, decided to skip out on the typical beach vacation and went to Austin, Texas, one of my favorite cities in the world. It’s easy to see that there are so many awesome places to explore and visit that are very different from the norm. So next year when you’re planning the perfect way to spend your week of freedom with your best friends, don’t overlook some alternatives. Who knows, it could end up being one of the best weeks of your life.


Adventure spring break


Abby is a freshman studying biochemistry.

A lot of people don’t realize what they have until it’s gone. That’s typically how it goes… Either somebody

better and help you get through the tough times

and want to know what to do with his or her lives

with the bad people. You should be thankful for just like you do. those bad people, because they are the ones who make you stronger.

It’s time people stop taking others for granted and love and appreciate every relationship. Whether it’s

The importance and value of family should be a bad relationship or a good one, people are meant taken advantage of completely when it comes to to help one another and provide support for their being thankful. You usually are given a choice to lives. It’s a frustrating thing when people don’t

choose who you want to surround yourself with and understand how good they have it when you look has to be missing, gone or ignored to realize how figure out from there who are the most important at the University of Arkansas and realize how great much someone means to you. people who are in your life. However, everyone is your education here is. The professors are willing College students now take advantage of who is given a family from the beginning that is obligated to help (for the most part), and any friendly face around them, especially being so far away from

and immediately they’re to serve your every need around Fayetteville is always welcoming with a smile

home. What does it take for you to be thankful?

and love you through every step of the way.

and happy heart (for the most part). Just be thankful

Within all the tough times, things get better. A lot

to be where you are and be proud of yourself for

100 in the class you’ve never showed up to that’ll matter how long it is or how bad it hurts, something

Think about all the struggles you’ve endured in

Will it take your Mom and Dad buying you a new

2014 Range Rover, or your teacher giving you a free of kids don’t understand that through every trial no getting here. suffice that thankfulness inside of you? It’s not until we get a bad grade on a test in order for us to be thankful when we get a better grade

better will come out of it in one way or another. your life and how much time and work has gone Whether it is the truth or a lie that hurts, there’s

by that has gotten you through each one no matter

something better that will come out of it. That is what. Think about those people who have always

on the next. The mass of people wanting good what we should thankful for now.

been there for you whether from the beginning,

always comes from experiencing something bad.

or from when they met you and hold on to them

You have to understand that being at a University,

Thankfulness is seen everyday but misunderstood. you get many opportunities to be involved in tightly. Look at the bad moments and recognize Many people take their experiences or “struggles” multiple things that are offered on campus. There how good and love comes from each one because it in their everyday lives and don’t realize how good are thousands of people with different involved in they really have it.

religious affiliations, athletics, clubs, Greek life, and

People are put into our lives for a reason, believe

majors and minors that are there to bond with you.

it or not. The good people are there to make you

Everyone here is searching to find who he or she are

happens, yet we just don’t recognize it.

Most importantly, be thankful you don’t go to LSU.

The list



Rachel is a sophomore studying advertising and public relations. You may contact her at

Row week is right around the corner. Fanny packs and punny tanks have been printed in the most srat neon colors, and once the line-ups have been posted for every house down Stadium Drive, every girl becomes THE number one fan of the band playing at their go-to house. They try to remember “that one line” from “that one song” that “that rapper that I loooove” sings. Songs are getting downloaded, memorized and blasted out of car windows as the frat-lapping commences once again, briefly, so the boys know that you are a true fan of that rapper that sings the bridge in that new Nelly.. or is Lil Wayne? song. The most difficult activity in preparation for row week is

the composition of the text messages, yes messages plural, you don’t want to just get a wrist band to one house.. how lame is that?

Your State ID… there will be police at all the houses, and they will be checking to make sure the face on that ID matches the person who’s hand it’s in (give or take the freshman 15).

You won’t want to sound too desperate. And you don’t want to sound uninterested.

Shoes.. and probably clothes that you don’t care too much about. Crawfish and dancing doesn’t pair so well with Tori Burch flats.

A happy medium is ideal. So you should probably decide to go with one of the new lyrics you memorized. Because nobody else has tried that… the boys will be sooo impressed. After the wristbands have been handed out, and the bribing has taken place, the real preparations begin. Walls go up. Stages are brought in. Ladies and gentlemen, Row Week has commenced. Now I know that dressing up for date night and dancing the night away to “your new favorite band” after eating your weight in crawfish is going to be the time of your life… and the best way to forget that finals are just around the corner. But there are a few things I think everyone needs to remember before heading out to their first… second or third… row week. So for your personal safety, well-being and entertainment: I present to you a Row Week Survival Guide. Things you will need:

An outfit that fits the occasion.. you are going to a honkytonk, hay bale floored, food and drink everywhere concert. And it’s at least 70 degrease outside. I know you want to look cute, but trust me, 20 minutes of sweating and two drinks spilled on you later, you aren’t going to be the hot momma you were when you did your final mirror check before leaving your room. So either wear something reasonable that fits the theme or something somewhat comfy (they make row week tanks for a reason) A buddy.. row week is one of the biggest events of the year. People come in from out of town and many people overdo it. So stick with a friend. You can help each other through the ups and downs of row week. So go get those wristbands. Enjoy row week. And remember to always use your head, but have fun while doing so.


500 words on

THE DENTIST, PART 1, A SHORT STORY One upon a time there was a woman AVERY of great beauty. Her ZOGLMANN Kappa Delta hair was as gold as a Avery is a sophomore studying Royal King’s crown. restaurants & hospitality. You may contact her at Her eyes were bluish-grey. They resembled a stormy night on the Caribbean Sea. This woman went by the name of Blake Darling.

It read:

To the Dental Beauty: I have been watching you, now, please do not be alarmed, for I feel this should not alarm you. You are one of so many values and ethics that I just cannot get enough of you. I want to meet you face to face. When and wherever you desire will work for me just the same. Until later, S.

Her heart skipped a beat as she finished the last sentence on the note. Blake was not just gifted in the physical aspect; she also had a brain fit All of the blood from her toes rushed to her head, forcing her to sit for the late Einstein. All of the eligible bachelors in the land were after down. Knowing that this note was causing her anxiety, she decided this woman. She was extremely witty and well spoken; she knew the to ignore it and go home. She opened the door to her condo, changed path she was going down in life. This was extremely attractive to all into her nightgown, and went straight to bed. of the men in the land near and far. In this time, women were always The next day Blake was awakened by a steady knock on her door. in the kitchen or caring for the kids. Blake, on the other hand, was not. Without even thinking about the occurrences yesterday, she put on her She had just graduated from dentistry school and was starting her robe and went to the door. After opening it, she felt that same weary own practice. Blake decided to open a quaint drug store in down town feeling rush to her head again. It was him. It was S. She knew it. His hair San Diego. After the grand opening of her store, Blake would soon was jet-black and short, yet long enough to run your fingers through. realize that this would not be the only Grand Opening she would be His eyes pierced her like a dart thrown at a dartboard. When he spoke, experiencing. it was like nothing else was happening in the world. He confidently On a normal, sunny afternoon while Blake was closing up her shop, began by stating, “I take it you know who I am by the way your face she felt a weird feeling in her stomach. She went through her store and became pale when you opened the door. My name is Sage, is this Ms. made sure all of the cabinets, windows, and doors were locked. Nothing Darling’s residence?” Without even thinking before she spoke, she just seemed to be wrong with anything, but her disturbing feeling would not blurted out a very unattractive, “Yes, why yes it is sir.” With a Prince subside. Blake decided to just dust off her shoulders and forget about Charming type of smirk, he practically floated past her into her rather the feeling. As she was locking up the front door, a single white flower organized condo. “ I have a problem, Ms. Darling,” he said. came out of nowhere and landed on the porch of her store. There was a small note attached to it.

Humor lol


THE 4 PEOPLE YOU’LL MEET AT PCB Until Spring Break this year, I believed that the beach was good for one purpose and one purpose only: relaxation.


Katie is a freshman studying English. You may contact her at

If you had asked the preSpring Break me what my favorite place in the world is, I would have answered you with “the beach” time and time again. I like the sand; I like the free tan; I like the books that I read; I like not wearing make-up; I like the absence of crowds; I like to catch unsuspecting crabs at night with a flashlight; I like the outlet malls; and I like the local, hole-in-a-wall seafood you can find. My parents have taken me to the beach ever since I can remember and, according to them, before I can remember, too. My 8th grade Facebook bio even read, “I rather be at the beach.” Clearly, my love is authentic. So, when 27 of my closest pledge sisters invited me to come along on a trip to Panama City Beach, I agreed without thinking twice. The ONLY way my favorite place could get any better would be with my favorite friends… right? Lo and behold, Panama City Beach is not really a beach at all, and little did I know, I was in for the culture shock of a lifetime. I saw tattoos in places where there shouldn’t be tattoos and bare skin in places where there should have been clothes. Public displays of affection there are shameless and music reaches amplitudes that have never been reached before. Shoes are not a necessity when walking on the road, but woe to whoever braves the beach shoeless and wishes to leave with glass-free feet. I did find a few consistencies throughout the week, however. There was a reoccurring theme in the people that I met and I think that it’s important for all that have not experienced this place to get a taste of what it’s like. 1. The Misfit High School Student: The population of tourists in Panama City Beach can be divided into two main categories: college freshmen and those who do not attend school at all. College freshmen all sport their sorority letters proudly or mark the sand with their fraternity’s flag. They are, for the most part, well-rounded kids who just want to see what the fuss over Panama City is all about. Those that do not attend any school probably are the ones that went to high school and made friends with those that would go on to college, so Panama City is their scene to reunite with those that have moved off and moved on. These two groups intermingle on the beach for some good, wholesome fun (well…you get the idea). However, there is ONE group that I came across this week only a few number of times: the high school-er. These students are antsy to get going. They probably think that

they are cooler than their much lamer friends who stayed home. It is likely that at their condo down the strip their parents are eagerly waiting for them to return. It is also likely that they are eagerly Instagram-ing with Greek letters in their background so that those left at home can see the wild shenanigans.

2. The “You Won’t”-er: When fighting the crowds on the beach, there was one phrase that I heard shouted repeatedly. Two simple words: you won’t. I won’t? I soon learned that this phrase was not a statement but instead a dare. As if once again on the elementary playground, “I double dog dare you” had apparently been traded for “you won’t.” Another slight change to the game was what type of actions followed the dare; apparently we were no longer being dared to hang one-handed from the monkey bars or cut to the front of the lunch line. Instead, tops were lost, drinks were downed and kisses were given by those “brave enough” to take the dare. One particularly fine individual walked up to me and simply said, “You won’t”. “You’re right, I won’t” was my response and it was that moment that further proved I am not made for Panama City beach. 3. The Contest Enter-er: Apparently there is big money to be made in the beach club industry. My family vacations never included any clubs at all, nor did I know that daytime clubs exist. However, it came to my attention that these clubs offer daytime contests to those who wish to participate. Contests sound like fun, right? Wrong. There are no limbo, hula-hooping or eating contests to be found. Instead, bumping, shaking and grinding on a stage in front of thousands were the contests that were offered. After my five days there, I noticed the few individuals who were always eager to play a part in the show. When not picked by the shirtless DJ, they were sure to be found in the front row, swaying and clapping and attributing to the crowd participation scores. 4. The Marker Board: Yearbook signing day in elementary school was always one of the best. I would go home to my mother boasting about all the boys and girls that had solidified our friendship by signing their name in bright-colored Sharpie. Some over-eager children would wear a white Hanes undershirt and have their BFFs sign that instead for a more wearable feel. However, I was quite certain that at least by graduation we had outgrown this. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Many individuals could be found going girl to girl and flag to flag getting signed. These people were covered head to toe in university names, Greek letters, and pictures that my mother would have never found in my elementary yearbook. I couldn’t help but think that spring break would most likely fade sooner than those markings would. All in all, I encourage everyone to round up some friends and go see what Panama City’s all about. It’s a lawless place, where all kinds of kinds roam about. I made some friends and got a tan, but I can assure you, your perception of the phrase “beach vacation” is sure to change.


Humor tweets

@iamdevloper: If you watch the Social Network backwards, it’s about a man gaining more friends and a girlfriend as he spends less time on Facebook.

Step 3: throw it at another bird

give you pants that fit so you no longer need a belt.

@bazecraze: Are you a cat person or a person person?

@AnnDabromowitz: When I’m CEO of Subway, employees will no longer be called “sandwich artists.” They will be “sub humans.”

@casual_koala: Animals that lose their tails visit the retail store.

@KevinFarzad: College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.

@iwearaonesie: my signature move is yelling “where in the fridge?!” and “i don’t see it!” until my mom comes and finds the applesauce for me

@all_about_today: What I’ve learned from twitter is that if I tell a joke to 1,300 people, at least 2 will laugh.

@SandyEggoMonk: My signature move is not caring which one yours is.

@BeardSpice: How to kill two birds with one stone:

@titletown__: I dated a woman once.

Step 1: throw a stone at a bird

Most confusing twenty minutes of my life.

Step 2: go pick up that stone

@juliussharpe: At the very highest level of karate, they

@Shock_Monster: Anyone that says there are no stupid questions has never had to explain to a 5 year old why there are no pink bananas 267 times today. @LuvPug: It’s like the people who drive Smart cars don’t even realize that other cars are an option. @primawesome: Wait what do you mean Jesus loves me? Did he say something to you? OMG I’m freaking out right now tell me his exact words. @zzoker: Mathematics is the only place you can buy 60 watermelons and no one questions you

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