march 6, 2014 | Volume 3, issue 21 | fayetteville, ar
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HILARITY FOR CHARITY PAGE 4
INTERVIEW TIPE FOR SUCCESS: HOW TO ACE YOUR NEXT JOB INTERVIEW page 3 PANCAKE PIG OUT page 5 HOW YOUNG IS TOO YOUNG? page 9
FROM LEFT TO RIGHT ARE WHEELER RICHARDSON, RILEY DEPAOLA, KAYLA EIFFERT, MACKENZIE RHOADS, CARSTEN LEIMER, MADISON JACKSON, MEREDITH FREER AND MORGAN MCCOMBS photo by ryan mcCready
HILaRITY FOR CHaRITY students
With HFC U the charity
Pi Kappa Alpha
encourages colleges to
host their own event for
Ryan is a senior studying international business. You may contact him at email@example.com.
Alzheimer’s. It does not have to be a variety show but could be a campus wide scavenger hunt or
danceathon. Hilarity for Charity provides a toolkit with things to help you get the event While I was putting off writing this article I decided to check some of my favorite procrastination sites I stumbled on to Hilarity for Charity. I found this nontraditional charity from a video in which everyone’s favorite, as he put it “man child,” addressed the Senate Appropriations Subcommittee on
Credit: ESPN Images Labor, Health, and Human Services about Alzheimer’s. He started an almost eight minute speech with a story about how his family has been affected from his mother in law being diagnosed with the disease.
started; all you have to do is provide the people. To sign up a team please visit: http:// www.crowdrise.com/hfcu. Also the team that raises the most until April 11thget to meet Seth Rogan and see an advance screening of his new movie, Neighbors. This is a great cause and even if you do not get involved it is important to educated yourself about Alzheimer’s, which “By 2050, as many as 16 million Americans will have the disease and an American will develop the disease every 33 seconds.” For more information about Hilarity for Charity please check out: hilarityforcharity.org and for more info about Alzheimer’s go to alz.org.
He continued the speech with a wholehearted plea to educated people about Alzheimer’s, that I did not see coming from the guy who stared in “Knocked Up” and “Pineapple Express.” The chairman of the committee did make the record show that this was the first and probably last time that the phrase “Knocked Up” would ever enter the record. He then finished his speech with a little information about his charity, Hilarity for Charity. Hilarity for Charity was started a recently by Seth and his wife Lauren and is partnered with the National Alzheimer’s Association. They wanted to not only help people who have Alzheimer’s but to educate young people about the disease. Their mission statement states; “For far too long, Alzheimer’s has been wrongly categorized as “an old person’s disease” and it’s time for a change. With the rapid rate at which the disease is growing, it’s time to get the younger folks, who will be the older folks before too long, involved.” The first event was held as a variety show in 2012 and was hosted by Seth Rogen, Paul
THE ODYSSEY AT ARKANSAS EXECUTIVE TEAM president Chelsea Mercer
Pi Kappa Alpha
Sales executives Shelby Rinehart
Delta Delta Delta
ashley Swindel Delta Delta Delta
CREATIVE TEAM editor-in-chief Ryan McCready Pi Kappa Alpha
Contributing editor Katie Kortebein Pi Beta Phi
Social Media editor Megan pearson-Hargus Kappa Delta
WaNT TO JOIN OUR CReaTIVe TeaM?
Rudd and Ty Burrell. There were also performances by Bruno Mars, Aziz Ansari and
Apply online today at
Patton Oswalt. They raised not only over 300,000 dollars but got the younger people
thinking and talking about Alzheimer’s. Last year the event was even bigger raising 500,000 dollars with Kevin Hart and many other comedians performing. They have also succeeded in appealing to the younger generations of celebrities and fans. According to Sean Fitz-Gerald of VARIETY, “Celebs came in droves for the event, which was stylized like any stoner’s dream house party. That included walking a green carpet on Vine and then ducking inside for kegs, red wine and tacos. Outside on the sidewalk, fans clamored to snag photos and sound bites from stars like Jack Black and Rob Riggle” This year the event is being held April 8thof big names performing. One of the, dare I say, smartest part of Hilarity for Charity is how they get college
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INTERVIEW TIPS FOR SUCCESS: HOW TO ACE YOUR NEXT JOB INTERVIEW With the end of the semester quickly approaching, it’s about time to start planning for a summer internship. Kappa Delta K a y l a i s a s o p h o m o re Getting a good internship studying advertising and during the summer not PR. You may contact her at only builds your resume firstname.lastname@example.org. and gives you real-world experience, but often times it can lead to a job offer after graduation. The first step to landing an internship is the interview process. Interviewing can be stressful and nerve-wracking, so here are some pointers on how to interview like a pro:
Dress for success. Personal presentation is key; your first impression is everything. Depending on what type of job you are interviewing for, appropriate outfits may very. As a general rule, you should dress “business casual,” which is a balance between too casual and too formal. Be on time. This will automatically give off a good first impression and show your potential future employer that you are responsible. Research the company. Having some background information will allow you to have an
intelligent conversation with your interviewer and will avoid any awkwardness that may come from you being uneducated about a topic that may come up. Prepare some responses to potential questions, and practice saying them. In a typical interview, some questions will probably ask you to describe yourself and why you are best for the job you are applying for. Practicing your responses out loud will help you feel more prepared and you can hear how your answers will sound. Don’t be afraid to show off. Talk about your positive attributes, work experiences that are applicable to the position, and why you are the right fit. Think of the interview as a sales pitch for yourself, because in reality that’s what it is. Set yourself apart so they’ll remember you after they meet you. Stay calm during your interview. If you stress yourself out, you may freeze up and not be able to answer questions as thoroughly as you could have otherwise. Think of an interview as more of a conversation rather than just a question and answer. Maintain eye contact. Eye contact shows that you are comfortable and confident, and it is more likely to leave an impression on your interviewer. Follow up after your interview. Maybe send a thank-you email or call the day after to check up on the progress of your application. It shows that you are serious and care about the position.
Ideas debate & discuss
WHaT YOUR RepReSeNTaTIVe CaN DO FOR YOU Here are five ways college students can make use of their representatives. 1. Keep student loans and tuition low. I don’t know any student who will tell you that their classes are cheap. College is an expensive investment and continues to be, especially if you are burdened with student loans. Policies needs to be introduced to keep interest rates as low as possible. With almost all students having to take out at least some loans, it is important that we are able to pay back our debts, especially when the job market is barely getting back on its feet. 2. Create policy that will improve the job market. The New York Times refers to the current crop of college graduates as “the Limbo Generation” because they happen to enter an economy marked by high unemployment. After graduating college, it is important to attain jobs that are adequate to our schooling and the investment we made in that schooling. Jobs can be created through direct policy and tax cuts that create revenue for small businesses. According to The New York Times fifty-nine percent of college student, during the 2012 presidential election cycle, reported that jobs are their number one concern. College students should call their state and federal representatives and urge them to take stances on job creation. Our generation is about to come into power in the corporate world. 3. Keep gas prices low. For many college students, cash flow is limited. Gas isn’t something glamorous we spend money on and we have been spending more and more of our money on gas since we turned 16. We all know that it is important to get a car that gets good mileage per gallon and one that is a more green option. But that is not an option in college. Maybe once we attain the jobs that we urge our representatives to help create, we can afford that electric car. For now, please keep gas prices low. 4. Passports. With Spring Break approaching and many students planning trips to tropical paradises, passports are in route to Fayetteville. The newest changes in travel regulations is that you must have a passport to go to Mexico and Canada. I know most of you probably aren’t headed to Canada this spring break with highs near 30 degrees in March, but I’m sure some of you beach lovers are headed to Mexico. Federal legislators can often help during your passport process. For example, if you remember that your passport has expired only days before your flight heads out, they can help you out by accelerating the process. Remember this before you travel, so even when passport drama commences you will always be prepared! 5. Sound smarter. Knowing a little bit about what’s going on in Washington, or in Little Rock this week, can make you feel and sound a little bit smarter. Anytime you are going for an internship interview, or maybe even the real thing, it is important to get up to speed on what’s happening in our state and nation’s politics. I would bet most college students don’t take the time to sit down read the Politics section of USA Today. However, I would bet that most college students check Facebook and Twitter in the mornings, afternoon
and evenings. Just giving your local representatives a follow or like can keep you up to date. By glancing at current events on the Internet I bet you feel more confident while talking to adults and professionals and all it takes is a click of your mouse!
MORgaN JOHNSON Pi Beta Phi
Morgan is a junior studying political science. You may contact her at email@example.com.
paNCaKe pIg OUT
at the Union Mall from March 10th13th, or at the door! Tickets are $5 and include a pancake dinner and entertainment. Events that night includes a fraternity pancake eating contest as well as a president pancakeeating contest starting at 7 pm. Entertainment includes Blane Howard who is an up and coming musician in Nashville, Tennessee.
Delta Delta Delta will be hosting their annual Pancake Pig-out March 13th from 5-10 p.m., with all proceeds benefiting St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. They were the top fundraising chapter in 2013 and raised an astonishing amount of $168,000. In 2014, Tri Delta is attempting to surpass last year ’s amount, and to do so they need everyone’s help. You can show your support by buying a T-shirt or a ticket from a Tri Delta
Tri Delta hopes to see you there and we look forward to sharing our passion for St. Jude.
aLeXaNDRa CHUNN Delta Delta Delta
Alexandra is a sophomore studying Broadcast Journalism and PR. You may contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Greek life traditions
Greek Compete called. However, much of the shameless “the game is all that matters this week” mindset was lost somewhere between graduation and move-in day. Did we grow out of this spirit as quickly as our generation grew out of our love for Furbies, Full House, or Britney Spears? The answer is most certainly NO! This prideful display of dominance has instead transformed into something new in the hearts of college-aged men and women. As I stood amongst eager, screaming, video-taping, sign-throwin’ girls at Greek Week Stroll this past Monday night, I realized that our passionate, high school selves have been transformed into a new form: a Greek.
By Katie Hicks-Pi Phi Every college student, no matter what year, gender, or state of origin, can appreciate a sense of healthy competition. High school years in my hometown, like most others’, were defined by athletic rivalries. The school’s overall mood each week was defined by who we were scheduled to play on that Friday night; a week in which a well-known rival was scheduled to play us was a week filled with focus from the players, less homework from the teachers, and whispers of “the big game” amongst all. Friday, of course, was dedicated to the pep rally that all students could benefit from; an escape from the classroom was alone enough to excite even those that would never wish to step foot at a football game. Victory was promised to the student body through a display of the marching band that was undoubtedly the loudest in all the conference, the spirit squad that could undoubtedly out-sparkle any opponent’s smile, and a mascot that could undoubtedly out-dance any other. When I reached college, I of course came across some avid sports enthusiasts. There are pep rallies to be had, tailgates to attend, and of course, Hogs to be
The tiring pep rallies, where you most likely will get assigned to hold an obnoxiously large sign, a bundle of balloons, or an end of an overly long banner? The countless hours spent planning, painting, pomping, and coordinating on Homecoming week? The sandy volleyball pit, the rope tying your leg to that of a fellow sister’s, or the seeds that you shamelessly spit at Lambda Chi Alpha’s Watermelon Bust? The hours spent learning and rehearsing choreographed steps in preparation for Step Show or the voices lost for the sake of “crowd participation” at the actual show? The calories burned and hours spent in preparation for Sigma Chi’s Derby Days philanthropy dance-off? These, among many other competitions held throughout the year, are near and dear to those in the University of Arkansas Greek system. Without a doubt, Greeks all understand the importance of healthy competition better than the high school versions of ourselves ever could. What is the point, do you ask? I have come to find that this shared goal of defeating one another has, in fact, united all students in the Greek system. At the end of the day, we all understand the irreplaceable feeling of brotherhood or sisterhood, of cheering your best friends on, of representing your letters, and of course…of victory. So cheers to the hours spent, the voices lost, and the powerful sorority and fraternity pride that can be found throughout this beloved campus.
Self health & fitness
College Chefs: a different kind of meal plan By Aiden Kocarek
For most Greeks on campus, the daily routine is simple; you wake up, go to class, do some studying, and hopefully have a social, party, or at least some sort of outing at the end of the day. But there’s often little emphasis on our meals. To many, eating is just a mandatory speed bump in an otherwise busy day, especially in a fraternity of sorority house where there’s often little to remember about the food. College Chefs, a company based out of Champaign, Ill., is looking to change that, however, and make fraternity and sorority meals a true highlight of the day. Kevin Hyotte, a 63-year-old Boston native, has brought the College Chef experience to the University of Florida. “It’s been great,” says Hyotte of his experience working with the company. Having joined the company’s roster of culinary masters roughly three years ago, Hyotte serves as a “swing chef”, meaning he travels to different Greek houses nationwide providing them with the best food he has to offer whenever they are in need. This semester, he takes pride in bringing his best work to UF’s Sigma Nu. Hyotte has been in the business all his life, starting out his career in cooking as a help to his parents’ own restaurant. He uses his experience in the industry to bring Sigma Nu food that is a step above the rest of campus’ culinary creations. “They’ve been getting a taste of restaurant quality food for a while now,” says Hyotte, something you won’t hear from many Greek house chefs. Just last week he prepared chicken saltimbocca. “That’s a pretty restaurant dish, most of the guys had never had it before,” Hyotte declares, “and it went over extremely well.” So what makes the College Chef chefs different from the run-of-the-mill chefs in other fraternity and sorority houses? “[College Chefs] take(s) all the liabilities of a company…they take all the liabilities and
insurance and vacations and stuff like that out of it,” explains Hyotte. The reassurance of being a part of a big company makes it so that highly-qualified chefs are willing to work on college campuses, and are motivated to do a good job. And a good job he does; Hyotte not only spends anywhere from 9-12 hours working on Sigma Nu’s meal plan, he also works with the brothers to formulate a menu to make sure everyone is satisfied. He even works on separate meals each day for the vegetarians living in the Sigma Nu house. “I just like making things that please the guys,” he says. With that interactivity between chef and brothers, there’s a special relationship between Sigma Nu and Hyotte. He knows their likes, and their dislikes. And they respect his schedule as well as the cleanliness of the dining area and kitchen. “They know me…and that I get a little upset when they trash the kitchen…they know they might be penalized, they might not get rolls because of that,” he quips. Though College Chefs is a relatively young company at only about four years old, they are spreading quickly. Kevin Gadus, CEC and founder/owner of College Chefs, has recently established an employment agency, recruiting highly skilled chefs so as to grow the company, according to Hyotte. Most locations utilizing the talents of College Chefs are focused in the Midwest. “Word of mouth travels real, real good,” Hyotte says; he hopes to see College Chefs expand their presence in Florida before his retirement. Eating is a necessity, so it might as well be enjoyable. All too often, Greek students settle for sub-par food. College Chefs is slowly but surely changing that, and The University of Florida would be lucky to have College Chefs begin re-defining the connotations associated with Greek meal plans. “It’s a great company,” Hyotte states happily and hopefully, “The trained chefs that we have at College Chefs would really, really do a good job in the Gainesville area.”
Ideas debate & discuss
suCCessful 21st CeleBrations
There seems to be an influx of 21st birthdays recently. I’ve seen quite a few party reservations and shot books come into the restaurant where I work. So, for those of you about to turn the legal drinking age, here are a few tips for a successful 21st celebration.
Have a set group
KaTIe KORTEBEIN Pi Beta Phi
Katie is a senior studying creative writing. You may contact her at email@example.com.
Eat at least three full meals I know many of us girls try to avoid big meals on special occasions because we want to look skinnier, but on your 21st especially, this is a terrible idea. All that food is necessary to soak up all those shots you’ll be taking in the space of just a few hours. So breakfast, lunch, and especially dinner are a must for the big 2-1. Space out your drinks and shots It can be easy to get caught up in the fun of people buying you shots, but it’s never a good idea to throw back 10 shots in 15 minutes. I would suggest trying to put a few minutes between each of the first couple. After that, in order to not end up seeing the shots appear again later in the evening, there should be at least 20 minutes between each. Avoid too many sugary drinks Lemon drops, Skittle shots and anything with amaretto in it. Put these all together, in a space of four hours, and a long visit with your toilet is pretty much guaranteed. Not to mention, you’ll be looking forward to a terrible hangover the next morning. Likewise, try to stick with the same liquor throughout the night.
No matter how carefully you follow the above rules; it’s your 21st birthday. It almost a given you will still end up absolutely hammered. For your safety and to make sure you don’t do anything you will forever regret, you should make sure to have a plan with a few friends. They should promise to stay with you throughout the entire night, to take care of you and most importantly, to get you into your bed safe and sound. This is obviously something your friends will offer to do anyways, but make a plan just in case! Dress to impress, but use caution This one is really for the ladies. It’s your night, so obviously you should look your best. However, wearing your highest heels and shortest dress are not the best idea. It’s almost a given that the combination of large amounts of alcohol and an unnatural difference in your height guarantees at least one tumble during the night. Prepare yourself for the next morning Put water and some Advil on your dresser before you go out. When you get home, drink a least one large glass of water. Then, in the morning, when you’re suffering through your post-birthday celebrations, you’ll have more water and medication to help ease the pain. Have fun and enjoy the night This is the most important tip. It’s your day, enjoy yourself. Most likely, even if you follow all these tips, you’re still going to end the night very drunk. But don’t worry, everyone gets a pass on their 21st birthday. You only get to celebrate this day once. Yes, we like to joke that our 22nd birthday is our 21st plus one, and so on, but it’s not the same. Your 21st is the one day everyone in the bars will be cheering you on and celebrating you even if they’ve never met you before. You will feel a sense of camaraderie that is unlike anything you will feel on any other night out. So take it all in and celebrate in a way that is only fit for the newly 21!
Scene on campus
Feel Great Through Spring Break being overdramatically sore. Two weeks in, you’re already feeling fit, fabulous, and full of life by now and ready to get back in your grove. Syllabus week and just the beginning of classes gives you a free head start and time to prove to yourself you are a new, and independent woman. Then, time catches up with you, stress kicks in, and the freshman girls all make eye contact with any of the desserts in the cafeterias that practically say “Game Over.” Pinterest doesn’t even help the sorority girls out when looking to the “Fitness” tab and home workout ideas. Strike two. About week four, we are feeling useless and worthless. This is when we are stuck downloading apps off our iPhone’s, using them once, and then never opening them up again. Our little technological fitness coaches won’t do the trick so what will? Our sisters and the chicken finger Friday madness won’t suffice our long thought out dream to look like Julianne
By Abigail Walstad Welcome back to school, ladies! It’s spring semester, and you know what that means… It’s the preparation and the mentality of the “Spring Break Body” that is taunting each and everyone of us as we finally have our Panama City Beach or Florida beach plans set… (only now wishing we had made plans to cover up and go skiing instead). “TSM” just gained a whole new meaning and stepped it up a notch. Every girl who is normal and isn’t “blessed” like a Victoria Secret Angel knows that it’s
Hough or even Jennifer Aniston even in her 40s. Feeling pathetic yet? Strike three: I’m sorry, girls, you’re out. Some of us succeed, and some of us fail. But we all know when we go back to our dorms, apartments, or our sorority houses where our beds look oh so comfortable, the Goldfish and Oreos are at our fingertips. “I’ll just walk off the pint of ice cream when I walk to class tomorrow” just doesn’t cut it anymore. You know what you really have to do though, but you just “literally can’t.”
crunch time to look our best for our college spring break. Hey, that’s what the Angel’s do,
Girls are obsessed with this idea of having to make sure the “6-pack” is ready to go and
right? They crush our spirits, yet give us all the biggest motivational push ever to grow
visible within the 12 week span they have to get it. We have to eat as much salad, and
our own pair of wings and get ready for the time of our lives.
choose a different setting on the elliptical every day to do the trick!
Whether you are rocking your one piece, tankini, bikini, sorority tank or the typical XXL
On the other hand, with the less sarcastic approach to this high known craze, girls need to
t-shirt, every girl is searching for the best lean shakes, workout tips and the “How To
relax. I mean who doesn’t want to be in the best shape of their lives, and have the excuse
Look Great by Spring Break” advise.
of Spring Break push you to do that?
Here you are back at the starting line ready to get back your high school figure. First day
Ladies, just remember you’re beautiful already, and there is nobody else out there like
in and back at school you’re ultimately getting to see what the college gym and University
you. Go ahead and push yourself to the limits and get what you deserve, but in the end
ID will get you for free. The elliptical, too many causal squats, and overestimating what
don’t forget to reward yourself with that extra handful of chocolate chips.
your body can take is strike one when you cannot workout for the next five days from
hoW younG is too younG?
Not too long ago, a story surfaced on ESPN regarding the verbal commitment to LSU by a quarterback and nephew of a former Heisman trophy winner.
Around the same time that all of this commotion surfaced, a young man named Dylan Moses was in the process of verbally committing to Alabama.
Zadock Dinkelmann is his name.
Another quarterback from San Diego, CA, named Tate Martell, accepted an offer from Washington, also within a short time of Dinklemann’s commitment.
What is so special about Dinkelmann? He is a 14-year-old Texas native and in the eighth grade. He also has yet to play even a single down of varsity football.
aSHLeIgH GIOVANNINI Delta Delta Delta
Ashleigh is a sophomore studying Biochemistry and Sports Management. You may contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
LSU offensive coordinator Cam Cameron is responsible for the scholarship offer and believes wholeheartedly that, based on footage, Dinkelmann is one of the best quarterbacks in the country already. But let it be known that this kid is 6’4” and 190 lbs—and in the EIGHTH GRADE. Seems kind of risky on LSU’s part, huh? It isn’t. Dinkelmann also comes from a long line of football legends that happen to coach the Somerset High School Bulldogs where he will receive his high school education. The long list of accomplishments by his ancestors and the pledge to keep Zadock safe and progressive serve as a sort of insurance policy to the Tigers. And Cam Cameron hopes to be the benefactor when it is time to cash that policy in. Now, to most football following and moral human beings, this concept sounds utterly outrageous. The truth of the matter is that this practice is none too uncommon. In 2010, USC sparked the trend by offering a then 13-year-old David Sills a scholarship. This is also not the first time that LSU has offered to an extremely young athlete. In 2012, LSU extended to a boy from Baton Rouge, Louisiana a scholarship during the summer before his eighth grade year.
Football in America is a cutthroat business. It comes as no surprise that coaches have begun to set foot in junior high territory. If the best of the best is what is desired, a bit of aggression comes into play. Also, there is no solid rule within the NCAA that prohibits such recruiting practices. Hypothetically, a school could offer the child of two incredible athletes a scholarship as soon as the kid hits peewee (which IS too risky). But also hypothetically, these kids that have been offered scholarships to some of the most competitive D-1 college football programs in the country could face certain physical obstacles that could prevent them from being able to formally sign with their verbal commit. But what about sports outside of football? When considering the ages of some Olympic gymnasts, the age to which football recruiting stems does not seem as unfathomable. Cheerleading is another one of those cutthroat sports that go to great lengths to get the insane athletes. Internationally, boys are put into schools centered on furthering soccer careers.Ice skaters retire at painfully early ages. So, in the world of competitive sports, why wouldn’t football follow suit? To someone looking from the outside in, aggressively recruiting a junior high student seems a bit outlandish, but what if it happened within your favorite team? Would it be considered unnecessary or staying ahead of the game? Because it is a new concept, this recruiting method is likely to get a lot of backlash. In ten years, fans may look back at the decision to offer Zadock Dinkelmann, Dylan Moses, and Tate Martell scholarships and praise the revolutionary advancement in athlete development. Only time will tell if the skill levels of these young men will affirm or negate the effectiveness of young recruitment. But in general, age has nothing to do with talent. Age is just a number, right?
500 words on
Lulu Losing My Mind By Kevin Finley
Girls gossip. They love to gossip. I don’t know why they do it or how this can even be considered to be a hobby, but it is. If you stick two sorority girls from different houses in the same room, within fifteen minutes, they will be best friends. After twenty minutes, they have systematically rated and talked smack about every other sorority on the campus. By the thirty minute mark, they have moved on to the inevitable topic that everyone knew was coming… Guys. The concept of girls talking behind our back is nothing new to men. This is why women use the restroom together. It’s why they would rather carpool than drive separately. It’s why married women get together and have “brunch” on a weekly basis. It’s why they willingly sleep in cold air dorms and share bedrooms with three or four other girls. It’s an excuse to talk! Phones, Instant Messaging, and Facebook have made it even easier for them to talk about us without even being near each other. Men everywhere have to be extra cautious not to mess up, because as soon as they do, groups of females all know about it, and band together like lionesses to HATE YOUR GUTS. Recently, I was confronted by one of the scariest things I have ever seen: Lulu. This application allows only women to rate men on many different scales including sex, looks, and commitment. The app also has many pre-made hashtags that you can tag your target with. Men cannot download the app, and if they download the “for men” version, all they can see is how many girls have visited their profile and how many have favorite you. This is scary- instead of 40 girls knowing that you’re a dumbass; EVERY FEMALE WITH A SMARTPHONE now has access to your mistakes and shortcomings. We don’t live in
a society based on praise. No one reads the “good” reviews on amazon; they go straight to the horrible reviews to nitpick any little flaw with the product. Guys, we are doomed. Let me make this quick disclaimer: I AM NOT A RESTAURANT. I am not some inferior toothpaste that you ordered on amazon prime because you were too lazy to go to the store. How would the fairer sex feel if guys were able to communicate their grievances with some poor girl who they met in a bar? Men would be much meaner and much more hurtful, it’s true, but the statement stands. You girls are ruthless, and this app is nothing more than another form of bullying. There is another, quite large, flaw with this system as well: it is anonymous. Any girl can log on to the app and leave a terrible review of some guy that she doesn’t even know, just because he may have a different political view than her. How is this fair? Why should females be allowed to hide behind their smartphones under a blanket of anonymity like nothing more than a YouTube comment troll? I recently was able to “borrow” a friend’s phone and check my own profile, and I was appalled. More people on lulu have “said” that they hooked up with me, than I have actually hooked up with EVER. What is this? Why are girls hash tagging #CantBuildIkeaFurniture when I am a past house manager of my fraternity with significant carpentry and plumbing experience? Why are they saying #ForgotHisWallet? When someone beats me to a check, I feel defeated. I feel like a kid who got his fake ID taken at the bar. I cannot explain this slander, and I am a proud male who is not that that affected by it, but I still wonder what the motive is… As males, we screw up A LOT. Generally, we don’t even know when we mess up just because you women would rather complain to all of your friends about it than actually confront us about it. Would you want strangers to know that you sleep around and rate dudes based on their performance? I think not. Stop the madness. Stop reviewing and rating guys like they are some sort of object. This is disrespectful and to put it blatantly, I believe it is sexist. Segmenting an application market based on someone’s gender label on Facebook is nothing more than a way to stir up drama, and I don’t appreciate it at all. Check out more of my rants and grievances on twitter @DontTreadOnMe93.
500 words on
Girls and instaGram
HaNNaH HENDERSON Delta Delta Delta
H a n n a h i s a f re s h m a n studying broadcast journalism. You may contact her at email@example.com.
“perfection”--- Thanks so much its called editing apps S/O to apple! Shortened words aka “presh, totes adorbs, scuteee, luv”--typical sorority slang #nofilter ---trust me there’s a filter, actually there’s two or three. “obsessed with you”---You can call me queen B (bow down to me) Pictures with boys are a league of their own: “date”---I wish we were girly
Who run the instagram feed? Girls. The average srat star uploads at least 1 IG worthy photo per week. With labeled days such as “Man-Crush Monday”, “Transformation Tuesday”, “Woman Crush Wednsday”, “Throwback Thursdays”,and Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, used for uploading “last nights” cute flirty fun party pics, there’s endless opportunities and prime times to post triple diget-like-worthy pics. While the pictures scrolling through my timeline are cute, entertaining, and sometimes humorous, the comments are always the best part. Thoughts that go through my mind when I see these common comments on my feed: “OMG STOP”--- I can’t, I won’t? “Stop being so gorgeous”---- well its hereditary so thanks mom and dad! “Ur so pretty please share” ---okay heres my perfect nose take it off I guess you can borrow it! “You’re my favorite”---- I almost believed you until you commented these exact words on 25 other girls picture but hey, its the thought that counts thanks! “ur my idol” Really? I’m flattered. My dol is Oprah I feel like you could shoot a little higher? “Rt” RTRTRT”--- Retweet. So basically you’re saying “same”, way 2 b original. r u n a sorority? (when throwing signs)---ya I am.
“OMG”--- I know, you were just as surprised as I was I actually took a picture with this hottie it’s a miracle. (insert heart eye emoji 25+ times)----Are you sure you really like the picture? “wait stop”---- I can’t sorry were already in love!!!!!!!!!!!! “I can’t even”-----I can’t even deal with this comment tbh “ugh”--- I don’t know if this is jealousy or anger???? “ur hot”----Me or him? “YESSSSSSSS”------ I am happy for me too. “Werq”---you already know I am. “what? OMG since when?”--- well if you were relevant to my life you’d probably already know Yes, I am making fun of these comments with which I too am guilty of posting on my friends’ pictures. What’s cool is what is popular, and just like jean jackets with jeans, we will one day look back and ask ourselves “what the heck was I doing?” We’re all guilty of using the popular slang, and comments>likes. So comment away ppl, even when they don’t make sense. #truuuuuuu You can follow me on insta @han_henderson xoxo
If you are from Dallas, chances are you are probably going to end up a
Your time spent in college is meant for you to find yourself. Ultimately, your top goal should be to eventually graduate
MegaN PEARSON-HARGUS Kappa Delta
M e g a n i s a s o p h o m o re studying English & journalism. You may contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
with a degree of some kind. While some kids come to college with all of their pre-recs already completed, and are forced to choose a path immediately, other students go
Business major. General Business. I’m not entirely sure what they feed y’all in Dallas that makes you want to run to Fayetteville and major in business. Every person I’ve met from Texas is a fraternity boy majoring in Business. Thanks to a semester attending the University of Arkansas with all of you business majors; I now believe that there are no other cities in Texas besides Dallas. Here is an average conversation I have every Thursday-Saturday night; Me: “Hi, where are you from?”
to college and finish their first year without a single thought of what they
Average boy, probably named John: “Dallas, TX.”
want to do. I just want to know who thought that it was a sensible decision
Me: “Of course, and what’s your major?”
to let 18 year-olds choose what they’re going to be for the rest of their life.
**Nervous laughter** that’s just crazy. I, personally, have generally known what I wanted to do since I was thirteen. If you have no earthly idea what you are going to end up doing, hopefully I will be able to help you declare. If you answer yes to ANY of the following questions, then you’re perfect for a major in the agriculture department. Is your name is something along the lines of “John Luke,” “Beth Anne,” or anything else with a double name? Do you own a tractor? Do you own multiple horses? Do you like to spend a lot of dreaming about farming? Do you want to know how to calculate the back fat of several farm animals? If any of these match you, welcome to the land of agriculture. You’ll fit in just fine. English majors are really easy to pinpoint. Skinny jeans are a staple of the average English student. If you like hanging out in bookstores, libraries, coffee shops, etc. while typing away and drinking lattes for hours on end, then an English degree is perfect for you. If all of your flex dollars are spent on coffee while you mysteriously write romance novels on your mac in the dimly lit corner of the campus Starbucks, then this degree has your name written all over it. Also, if you are a boy and you own a leather cross body bag, then it’s practically the law that you end up being an English major. “Pre-” majors make for promising future spouses. Admittedly, my mom is probably going to auction me off to some pre-something before I graduate college. If you want every sorority girl’s eyes to light up when you mention your major starts with “Pre-” then choose a major in law or medicine. I can’t guarantee that girls will be lining up to date you, but being a Pre- something certainly wouldn’t help.
@reNIKKulous- a guy on the elliptical is the most unattractive thing ever. @oliviaingram615- The group convos I have on my phone revolve mainly around McDonald’s and safe sex. @H_Pottorff23- I don’t eat until I’m full. I eat until I hate myself. #CurrentlyHatingMyself @itsbritbitch- mom texted me to congratulate me on only spending $3 at the bar last night. @NicooooSuave- Ran into the store for Tylenol for my migraine [hangover]. The old Indian man was so concerned for me he didn’t even charge.
@kpsmith32- Girls, on days like today: “Ugh it’s raining”. Translation: “OMG YES RAINBOOTS”. Too predictable. @Madi_Ives-so deep in the friend zone you might as well be his cousin. @fLoecksibLe- Sat down in class like a normal student and the guy in front of me asked me to move because he gets paranoid with behind him.. mmrokay. @realtylerizsak- maybe ill show up to this exam and the professor will say it’s just a game of flappy bird? @tay_skarsgard- Yea age is just a number. But it matters when one person is an adult and the other
is still a child….. if you catch my drift @AL_VANren- Describing the weather by how darty-able it is. @collegetownlife”yeah I’d darty in it” @KyleBayram- The Great Winter of 2014 has ended. The flooding of Purdue2014 has just begun #watereverywhere @fLoecksibLe- dreamt that I drunkenly got a massive tattoo of angel wings with fire, hearts, and ‘mom’ everywhere… never ran to the mirror so fast @jjringer- I’m not sure why but random celebrities giving Jimmy Fallon $100 is kinda entertaining.