The Power of Sharing The biggest hurdle I faced was that my youngest daughter Camilla was just 2 years old and I’d never had a day away from her since she was born. It was a measure of how much I felt I needed the Process that I overcame that challenge. It also initiated important changes, because at that point I’d hidden my depression behind a social mask and given the impression that I was coping. Going to the Process meant that I had to open up to friends and family about the real situation and ask for their support. I saw my pattern of fearing the judgement of those around me, I thought they would think I was a failure for not coping. Instead, I discovered they were genuinely willing to help, understand and support me – in fact one friend burst into tears at my honesty and we grew much closer. The Process certainly gets to some deep, painful feelings, yet at the end of the course I couldn’t believe the difference. I came back glowing. It seemed weird that although nothing in my life had physically changed, how I felt about it was so utterly different. I felt so well physically and mentally – the best I’d ever felt in my life. It was such a contrast that I went into overdrive, redecorating the house until I finally came down to earth and my energy found more of a balance.
it’s for a limited time. A year after my Process, I did a 3 day refresher weekend called a Q2 which has helped me stay on track and I’ve found a therapist who is a wonderful support. Since the Process I care far less about other people’s judgements of me. It seems a small thing, but I often go out without make up now, whereas before I couldn’t have contemplated it. I’m much more able to stand up for myself and express my opinions. Before I did the course I had no idea who I was. I was either conforming to my parents’ opinions or rebelling against them – either way what I was expressing wasn’t me. Now I’m having fun finding out my opinions and preferences without being in reaction to my upbringing. When I spot myself in a family pattern I just laugh. Finding a spiritual connection on the Process also gave me a great deal of hope and comfort. As a child I rebelled against religion because of my parents’ strong religious beliefs but now I’m looking at them again with a more open mind to find my own position. I regularly use the Process cd’s and visualisations which keep me connected to my spiritual side. In fact after the Process I was sitting with a family member when they died and I coped much better with the situation because I didn’t see it as a purely physical loss.
Going Forward with Confidence
Since doing the Process changes have been measurable. I’m a much, much better mother. I keep making small changes, which build on each other, The Process gave me hope because when I feel low now I have the Process tools and the post Process events I can attend, as well as the knowledge that I’ve been here before and I can come out of it again. It’s been an eventful few years since the course and I’ve had quite a lot of challenges so I decided to take anti-depressants again but this time I’ve done it with a different spirit. I’m choosing it as a tool, knowing that
I cannot envisage where I’d be if I hadn’t discovered the Hoffman Process. I’d love other people to get what I did from it. Life is so much better than it ever was. I’d wish that for everyone.
Donna Lancaster
Supervising Hoffman Teacher • Relationship and Life Coach On the Hoffman Process we frequently work with depression and its associated symptoms of low mood, poor self worth, low energy, and general loss of interest or pleasure. The Process supports people in externalising and expressing the often suppressed (‘de-pressed’) range of emotions held inside for weeks, months and years. These can relate to life circumstances such as a relationship breakdown, career crisis, health issues or bereavement but may also be linked to the past. So for example, a current divorce may trigger issues of abandonment taken on much earlier in life through being sent to boarding school. The Process helps people become more aware of these links, make sense of them and then release the related emotions. Therein lies the healing.
How the Process differs from many common approaches to treating depression is that it works with the whole person; the intellect, emotions, spirit and body, rather than focusing purely on the intellect which can be the case with some ‘talking therapies’. Many people come to the Process with great awareness of why they feel and behave the way they do, but feeling they have a limited ability to change. The Process works on many different levels, using the body primarily to help people access their emotions and in so doing helping them to return to their Spirit (by which we simply mean their true self, the person they were born to be). It enables people to truly ‘get out of their head and back into their heart’ by releasing and letting go of a
backlog of hurts, betrayals, shame and grievances. People leave the Process feeling lighter in heart and more able to move forward in their lives with a much more positive outlook. The Process is ultimately a journey to Freedom. Donna coaches couples and individuals in person, on the phone and also offers Relationship Workshops. www.donnalancaster.co.uk coaching@donnalancaster.co.uk 31