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November 2011/Issue 39

think. what you can be

a smartphone! See page 2 for details Inside

• What job will make you smile? • Why do we LOL? • Who invented the smiley face? • Funny facts & jokes

Just tell us what your favourite story in this issue is, and why. Email your answer – with your name, school, grade and phone number – to or SMS ‘HIP style’ followed by your answer to 31445, and all this stylish stuff could be yours! Standard SMS rates apply. Competition closes on 31 December 2011.

WATCH IT! In comedy, timing is everything. Dropping your punchline a moment too soon or too late could kill a great joke. Strap on this watch to make those seconds count!

Toilet humour

This one’s great for party poopers. Fill the bulb with ice-cold water and attach it under a toilet seat. When someone sits down, they’ll get a squirty surprise. (Warning: this prank could get loud.)

BY Lindi miti; images: Shavan Rahim, jan ras

Giggle, chuckle, LOL, ROFL, ha ha, tee hee, snort! This stuff is guaranteed to keep you smiling all day long …

SMILE! Dry, cracked lips can make laughing and even smiling a pain. But this Bling Lip Gloss will keep your mouth moisturised, plus the funky shades will make your smile even brighter.

Joker vs Batman

fashion, accessories & gadgets


Wanna win all this stuff?

No one’s got a sicker sense of humour than Batman’s arch-enemy, The Joker. They may hate hanging out together in reality, but we think they look pretty awesome on this pair of Converse Batman Chuck Hi Tops. or

I got your back

Tell a joke without saying a word with this hilarious tee. It was created on, a website where people from all over the world can submit their designs and – if they get the most votes – have their work printed on a T-shirt. Anyone can enter and vote … including you!

Bin there

Whoever said cleaning up couldn’t be fun was probably right … but this bin clearly thinks it’s all a big joke. Invented to cheer people up (see page 8), this smiley face will wink at you as you shuffle around picking stuff off the floor. Well, at least someone’s having fun …

plate say to the other plate? A: ‘Dinner’s on me.’

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: A fsh.


Timez Are Weird These Days, by Theophilius London

minutes with

At 24, Theophilus has already met (and impressed) Kanye West. What can you expect from his first album?


g, Smooth (half-sun

22% half-rapped) rhymes s rock groove 21% Mellow rap- B-style pop 80s R& 15% Bouncy um and ugging dr 6% Ch bass beats

The 23-year-old SAMA-nominated Jozi rapper talks about his influences, inspirations, career highlights and what’s next …

My first album, Special Rekwest, was about introducing myself. I wanted it to say: ‘Hi I’m Kwesta. This is what I love doing, so please take note.’ The message is ‘be yourself’. There are a lot of temptations to conform to certain styles and genres and behaviours, but I wanted to stress the importance of being true to yourself.

8% 11%

THE ALCHEMYST, by Michael Scott Reviewer: Lana Napoleon, Grade 10, Mondale High School, Cape Town

Our FAVE tracks

‘Last name London’ & ‘I Stand Alone’

The qualities you need to be a good rapper are confidence and honesty. And you need to practise. A lot. Like all forms of music, the delivery is very important; emotion must be felt. If I sing ‘Amazing Grace’ with a huge grin on my face, no-one will take it seriously.

If you enjoy fast-paced, informative books,

South African hip-hop is still in its infancy. I’d like to see it grow to its fullest potential – to a point where parents trust it as a career choice. I’d like to see it become a culture, a lifestyle, and not just a pair of sneakers and baggy jeans.

on an ancient journey to real

then The Alchemyst will be perfect for you. It follows the story of 15-year-old twins, Sophie and Josh Newman, who find themselves in the middle of an epic battle for an ancient book that, if in the wrong hands, could destroy the world. The Alchemyst takes you

inged New Synthesiser-tie s od el m e av W spired Breakdance-in s rhythm p-hop riffs Cutting-edge hi


My musical hero is Kanye West. I’m a die-hard fan. Locally, I’ve been inspired by Zola, Skwatta Kamp and anyone who’s doing something new. I laugh at stupid things: someone tripping down a flight of stairs; a car full of guys hooting at a pretty babe; and Modern Family – it doesn’t get funnier than that.

? Can the hero really catch the girl

y of in a cop n’s CD? o ur d Wanna w n o L us ed by yo Theophil music’ follow l to 31445. IP o o SMS ‘H rade and sch name, g s apply.

You’ve seen it in loads of movies: the lady falls out of a building, and the hero catches her just in time, saying, ‘Aw, it was nothin’, ma’am.’ Actually, it really is something – our hero just broke Newton’s Second Law of Motion! According to this law, F=ma (force = mass x acceleration), which means that the faster something has to change speeds, the greater the force it experiences. So, when the lady falls, it’s not the fall that’ll kill her; it’s the time and distance it takes for her to stop. fast If she hits the ground, she’ll stop very . If she and experience a huge crushing force use it will take longer hits water, she’ll do a bit better, beca arms, he may move down a bit ’s hero to stop. But if she lands in our ed. In fact, her body may tear but not much, so she’ll still be crush l part of her body area! Ouch. smal a apart, as he’ll only be catching was 2002’s SpiderOne of the few movies to get this right riend off a bridge, girlf ey’s Spid s Man. When the bad guy throw re d befo catching her, and he dives down and matches her spee , Peter Parker! work Nice . then slows down gradually

te . SMS ra ec 2011 Standard on closes 31 D ti Competi


Reviewer: Linda Kenny, Grade 11, Kimberley Girls’ High School

This is one PC game that any self-respecting Avatar fanatic must play. It gives you another glimpse places and introduces you into the colourful world of Pandora, and to great historical figures, the chance to operate your own avatar, with a modern twist that’ll albeit only on the screen. It does not keep you on the edge follow the exact storyline of the movie, but it is similar in the main areas. of your seat. Rating: 4/5 The graphics are very good, but it’s best to lower the mouse sensitivity before you get into any serious playing, as the detail may become slightly Reviewer: Hwa-hae Lee, Grade 10, Pretoria High School for Girls disorienting. All in all, a very The Store Keeper is a hidden gem from South African director and entertaining game. Rating: 3,5/5 writer Gavin Hood of Tsotsi fame. It’s a brilliant, short film about a store keeper in a poor rural town. The film begins with a postman PUZZLE ANSWERS cycling to give the store keeper an invitation to his daughter’s wedding. That night, a robber breaks into the store and steals all the meagre stock, forcing the store keeper to replace everything the next day, using nearly all his money. When the robber returns, the store keeper is forced to take drastic steps to prevent further theft while he attends his daughter’s wedding. The contrast between sheer happiness and stark tragedy is brilliantly depicted in this must-see film. Rating: 4/5


17 DEGREES OF FREEDOM: Visit for the answer; FUNNY HOW THAT WORKS: The word is ‘hilarious’; WHAT’S THE ORDER? Using the chemical elements’ symbols, you get La-S-Ag-Ne, I-Ce C-Re-Am and Be-Er. Sneaky …


JOKES Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? A: Because they taste funny ...

music reviews by nikki benatar; imgaes: Nu Metro Home Entertainment: Paramount Studio;; HarpercollinsUK/Louise Rennison; supplied; flickr(sidewalk flying)

pop culture


Crazy Movie Physics



reer dreams ca ur yo e ak m u yo lp Let us he

a reality...

The National Student Financial Aid Scheme (NSFAS) provides loans and bursaries to eligible students for studies at public universities and Further Education and Training (FET) Colleges in South Africa. NSFAS OFFERS BURSARIES: Bursaries are offered to eligible students in need who are studying in various scarce skills areas such as teaching and social work. Eligible students are those whose academic results enable them to enter university. As of 2011, the South African government has also increased bursary funds to help students enrolled in certain NATED programmes (N1-N6 in engineering and N4-N6 in all other fields) as well as the National Certificate (Vocational) at public FET Colleges. If you qualify for funding according to a financial means test, this bursary could cover the costs of your tuition, food and accommodation.

STUDENT LOANS GIVE HOPE: NSFAS loans are also available for qualifying university students for their first undergraduate degree or diploma. If you do well academically, a portion of the loan may also be converted into a bursary. Funding is limited and not all students who apply will receive an award.

FOR MORE INFORMATION visit the financial aid office on campus, contact NSFAS on 021 763 3232 or SMS your question to 32261 (Mark it “Hip2B2�). Standard SMS rates apply. Email or visit

NSFAS is a registered credit provider in terms of the National Credit Act 34 of 2005 (NCRCP 2655)

rosebank.indd 1

2011/08/10 12:53 PM

The Humour Issue  

Check out the latest issue of the HIP2B2 magazine!