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Special 50th anniversary edition


August 14, 2015

Bad hair day: Back row: James ‘Jimbo’ Scott, Alexandra ‘How can a girl be called Rodger?’ Scott.

Front: Andrew ‘Boll-’ed’ Scott and Hilary ‘Baldy-baby’ Scott. Inset: Gavin ‘Too much hair for one child’ Scott is already behind bars

Search is on for family with ‘criminal’ haircuts POLICE and social services have today issued an urgent appeal for help in catching the notorious Scott clan. Warnings have been issued to members of the public not to approach the family, who are wanted in connection with the possession of ‘criminal’ haircuts, some dating back to the early 1960s.

Chief Inspector Letsby Avenue told waiting reporters: “We have reason to believe they have been blatantly brandishing some of the worst haircuts we have ever seen. “Some of the styles may go back as far as five decades, and worse still, they have been inflicted on children.” The youngest family member, Gavin, has already been apprehended and is

behind bars, as seen in our exclusive picture. It is believed he tried to alter his appearance in recent years by deliberately making his hairline recede. The ringleader is thought to be the mother, also known on the street as ‘Sandie’, who is still believed to be inflicting terrible wonky haircuts on her unsuspecting relatives today.

A half-century of Scottism Our special feature tells the story of the Scott’s last 50 years in pictures, including their attempt to repopulate The North with their many grandchildren- by Annie Versary SHY Scottish siren Alexandra Easton met the hirsute Jim Scott on a blind date on Newcastle station (rumours that Ms Easton would have run a mile if she’d seen him proved unfounded). Before she had time to say “Take that coat off indoors or you won’t feel the benefit”, she was married, on August 14, 1965, and expecting the couple’s first child within a year. Andrew Michael was born on August 22, 1966, and despite his hippy-era birth, became destined for military service. Before that though, he was wrenched from his Geordie roots and relocated first in Slough, then glorious Devon. Everyone rejoiced when the second child, Hilary Caroline, perfect in every way, was born on January 15, 1970, . And as if mum didn’t have enough to cope with, the baby of the family Gavin Bumpkin was born on July 9, 1973. These offspring went on to meet their own long-suffering One-True-Loves, Angie, Steve and Rachel. Fifty years and several house-moves later, the couple now live back in the street next to where they wed, watching with glee as their ten grandchildren plot to take over the north. (Well, north of the Watford Gap, anyway). Happy anniversary Mam and Dad, remember, what’s the secret of every Golden Wedding couple? “A bit of give and take.”

The Scotts today, clearly distressing one of their many, many grandchildren. Send your (better) captions to 23 Alma Place.








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Can you name these babies? We bet Grandma can...

Answers below

Answers: 1, Matty, 2, Bonnie, 3, Jed, 4, Amy, 5, Billy, 6, Jack, 7, Laura, 8, Andy, 9, Doug, 10, Bella

Where are they now? From having beehive haircuts, mullets and bad perms - or for some, just having hair - we’ve all changed a little over the years. In an effort to restock Ma Scott’s photo frame collection, The Scott Times has commissioned these exclusive up-to-date self-portraits of the junior branches of the clan. Naturally, it took billions of frames to get images this gorgeous, as you can see below left. Enjoy.