HILARY Magazine: Do you feel that she took advantage of you and your vulnerability? Jennifer: Yes. She knew exactly how to manipulate me. It was not that difficult to figure out. Though she did take advantage of me, I truly believe she did not know any better because when you are caught up in a world with no restrictions or rules, everything inappropriate seems normal. So she was simply living by the rules of the Mansion at the time which included: inappropriate behavior, no sexual boundaries, and taking advantage of innocent minors. HILARY Magazine: You wrote that there are some people you will never forget. She is one of them (Kendall). Do you still think of her or miss her? Jennifer: No, of course I do not miss her. She is a gold digger, opportunist who molested a minor. HILARY Magazine: You wrote: I'm used to the little voice in my head that believes the world owes me something and that civilized behavior is a waste of time. How has your outlook on life changed since then? Jennifer: I was never taught the basics of how to get along. Conditioned as I was to see life through my parents' filtered lenses, I slowly learned that everything is the opposite of what it had seemed. I quickly learned that I was not taught the basics of how to get along. HILARY Magazine: You are obviously still dealing emotionally with your dysfunctional childhood, which explains the uncertain ending to your memoir. Has publishing the book, letting out all of the skeletons of your past, and explaining your deep dark secrets to anyone who wants to read them helped you get some sort of closure from your past so you can have a better understanding for your future? Jennifer: No. We are taught to love our parents but all I feel is rage. I wish I were still a little girl whose parents read to her and tucked her in at night; held her hand at crosswalks. Hopefully my next book Medicated, which delves into the aftermath of a traumatic childhood, will help me move on with my life. HILARY Magazine: How has publishing the book affected your life now? How has it affected your relationships with the people you mention, your mother, father, sister, and Hefner? Jennifer: I don't talk to my family; my mother, father or sister. I haven't spoken to my father since I last saw him at the Mansion â€“ before he went to rehab. My mother still lives in denial which is ironic because she is a well educated psychologist. She was not supportive of me publishing Playground. She said: "who would want to read about your life?" I told her: "I think my childhood was unique and many people may understand why I sought after love and affection in another woman after they read this, instead of being disgusted by it." Like my fellow classmates, the Menendez brothers, there is nowhere for kids to go if they are being abused at home in Beverly Hills. In many ways I can relate to their situation because their father was abusing them while their mother stood by and let it happen.
Anniversary Issue Lay-Out