HILARY Magazine: During that time, you write that your mother seemed to be reaching out to you, can you tell us a little bit about her role. Jennifer: My mother knew my father was a violent man who carried a gun. He was forceful, abusive, and extremely well connected. All of his police records have been magically erased. Even the most current news last April of him & Hefner and an underage sex scandal was never mentioned again after the Cindy Adam article in the NY Post. My mother was frightened of him and was too weak to save me from such a powerful figure. Instead, she lived in denial and told herself that I chose to move in with him because I was seduced by his extravagant lifestyle. HILARY Magazine: You specifically write about moving out of your mother's home as a teenager and moving in with your father. You say that you were finally breaking free from the confines of reality and entering a fantasy land of enchanted fables. Do you still question, or regret the decision you made to move in with your father? Jennifer: If I stayed with my mother, perhaps she would have taught me the basic survival skills of life that I did not learn at my father's. However, my mother was never the nurturing, caretaking type so I felt very empty inside. She was self-absorbed with an aloof, cold demeanor. My decision to move out of her house was due in part to the emotional connection I started feeling towards Kendall (Carrie Leigh, Hefner's girlfriend). If I had stayed at my mother's house I would not be able to see Kendall every night. I yearned for attention and love so desperately; I began to seek it out at all costs. I misinterpreted Kendall's attention and took to heart her words of "love" and "wanting to be together forever" because it offered me a sense of security, no matter how false it ended up being in the long run. HILARY Magazine: Was it hard for you to write the book and bring back all the memories and horrors you experienced? Jennifer: It was very hard. The most difficult thing to deal with was the fact that not only did nobody believe the story but the power that empires like Playboy have to quietly influence people. Harper Collins almost didn't publish the book unless I could find reliable sources to call in and give testimonials admitting they witnessed the underage affair and all the other absurdities that occurred. I was told to cut out 200 pages and watered down the true reality of all the characters and their actions.