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PROFOLIO OF SHIRINE LEE


SHIRINE LEE hexagonal.forest@gmail.com |(+886)985795462 |https://www.instagram.com/hexagonal_forest/ //Education Background// Sept.2011-Jun.2013

The Affliateo Jhongli Senior High school of National Central University

Sept.2013-Jun.2018

Dept. of Architecture |Tamkang University

//Professional Experience// Jan.2015-Feb.2015

M2T Design |Intern Architect

Jun.2015-Jul.2015

Techonic Workshop |Sanzhi,Taiwan

Jul.2015-Aug.2015

1st Reality Construction Competition by Chinese Youth International | Fuzhou, China

Jun.2016-Aug.2016

Bio-Architecture Formosana |Intern Architect

Sept.2016

Participated Asian Housing Workshop ”Breaking the Phenomental Wall” |Japan

Jun.2017

Grasshopper Scripting Gallery

TKU X CCCLab |Tamsui,Taiwan

//Design Competition&Awards// Sept.2015

Far Eastern Architectural Young Talent Award |1ST

Dec.2016

Student Category of the 2016 Architecture at Zero Competition |Special Recognition Award

//Acadamic Honor// Sept.2015

Teacher.Wang Jikun Architectural Design Excellence Scholarship |1st

Dec.2015

Extramural Competition Scholarship |1st

Sept.2016

Teacher.Wang Jikun Architectural Design Excellence Scholarship |2rd

Jun2017

Extramural Competition Scholarship |1st

//Software Skill// AutoCad |Rhinoceros |Sketchup |Revit |Lumion |Keyshot |Photoshop |Illustrator | Indesign //Language// English, Chinese(Mandarin)


CONTENTS

01 WHEN WE MET Architecure Design — Chenggong Market and Plaza 02 FLIP !

Architecure Design — Architecture at Zero & Chirldren Caring Center

03 LET'S RUN ! CHCILDREN Architecure Design & Detail Design — Tamsui Kindergarten

04 LIGHT OF MAZE Architecure Design — Tamsui Church

05 DIARY OF GREENERY Architecure Design —Dihua Street Condominium

OTHER WORKS Asian Workshop — Relinking Symbiotic Lifeforms Architecture by zero Competition (Special Recognition Prize) — Sharing and Living Art Work — Self-Introdution, Spatial Extention, Exploration of Architecture, Lyrics of Tamsui Stories About Strangers — Those People, Those Stories Fairy Tales — Love ! Where Are You ?

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01

WHEN WE MET

TKU 2016 Spring EA3 Chenggong Market and Plaza Instructor:Chia-Ping Lin Architecure Design Project:Market and Plaza Site: Chenggong Traditional Market, Taipei

" Hello! Nice to meet you." "Hi! Where are you come from?" We came from the different places. However, we ran into each other here. If I can, I want to turn the moment into eternal. Chenggong Public Housing is situated on a prosperous area in Taipei. However, it just like a lonely iland in the city. People in Pulbic Housing seldom go out to communitate with others cause of the disabilities and the completed facilities in the community. Moreover, people wh lives in the city seldom go to Chenggong Traditional Market either because the market serve for the commuity only. They are just like from the different world. Therefore, I want to create a new market and plaza which can connect with each other easily to open the gate of iland.

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Exploded View and Connection

Connection Between Visitor and Localism

Tree

Mode of Chengong Public Housing and transformation The public transportation around Chengong public housing is really convenient. People can easily reach to the public housing and the traditional market. Besides, there are a lot of schools and green area near it. Not only the elderly but the youths are around the site. Therefore, I think that Chengong public housing and Chengong traditional market have potential to become a prosperous area that have many activities in my design project.

Structure

Slope (up)

After surveying in site, I tried to record the localism's activities and added new type of activities. Trying to link the vistors and localism, I create three directions and imagine the story in my design project. First, the x-axis tries to link the residents and visitors. For example, children's playground, elderly's leasure area and traditional market are for the residents who live in the community. The dinamic square and the creatives/holiday market are for the visitors. I mix them to let different groups encounter to each other by chance. Second, the y-axis tries to connect the residents in the comunity so that they meet the neighbors more often. Last, the z-axis has many squares and atrium spaces to connect the plaza and the market so that people can see different activities no matter where they are.

Slope (down)

Plaza

Road

lighting, Installation art lighting, Installation art

Children's Playground Elderly's Leasure Area

Traditional Market

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Youth's Dinamic Square Youth's Static Square

Creatives/Holiday Market


Collage of Encounter I collage the imagination of New Chenggong plaza and market. The strong image of Dunhua South Road's Green Tunnel is used to be an important element in my design. These trees give a conducted of the plaza and market to people. And it also connect the community to the Taipei city. Then the closing gate of lonely island will be open to the city. People can easily reach others again. Let's turn the moment into eternal ! 4


5


Changing Use of Plan

Music Square

Yoga, Stretching Area / Picnic Area

Giant Board Game Area / Leasure Area

Market / Dining area

Basement performance square

Connection between city and Chenggong Plaza and Market

Floor Plan

First Floor Plan

Basement First Floor Plan

There are many different area that help to demonstrate how Chenggong Market and Plaza can be used.For instance, there are three big squares in first floor, three medium square in bassement and three small square in basement. And each square provides different activity, such as for sports, for misic, for lesiure, for performance and so on. Some are for children, some are for the youth and some are for the elderly. However, the function didn't seperate so clearly so that people can use the square freely, and meet the stranger more often. Besides, there are not only traditional market but new type of creatives and holiday market in the basement floor. The local residents may use the traditional market and people from Taipei city may be attracted by the new type of market. And if the squres have performance, it becomes an area that make people gather together.

Basement Second Floor Plan 6


Seciton A-A' 7

Seciton B-B'


Seciton C-C'

Seciton a-a' 8


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02

FLIP!!

TKU 2016 Fall EA4 Architecture at Zero & Chirldren Caring Center Instructor:Wei Shiang Sung Architecure Design Site:San Francisco State University Indivisual Work Dear children, you come from the forieng land just like comming from different planet. I wish I could create an universe for you and let you go and have your fun. The education of environmental protection is often a formality and lard to take effect. What I want to do is to let children preserve the environment during playing so that they can make our world become better without extra effort. Besides, I tried to flip the space of classroom, break the entity boundary and provide well generalty and security to make the learning environment be free. Let's flip!

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The Perceptivity of Children

Exploded View and Flipped

Wind Concern

Elevation Concern

Skin

West

South

East

Heat Insulation Heat Preservation Water Collection Air Convention

North

Solar Concern

Circulation Godesic concern Wind&Storm resistance

Maximan Solar Gain & Light

A i r F l o w Vantilation

U n i f o r m Temperature

Structure

Roof Playground Flipped Square

circle

Ball Classroom Flat

Wriggle

Stair

Net

Entity Boundary

Emptiness Boundary

Playground

Indoor Playground Reading Area

Classroom/Office

Landscape Ecological Pool Permeable Brick Path

We Play When We Recycle To respond the environment of site, I concern the wind, solar, godesic, daylighting and elevation. Making the space of indoor become more comfortable . After researching the perceptivity of children about geometry, I found out that children will be excited when they are in a circle space and arouse them to explore the area. Besides, flat and smooth curve is more safe for children when they are using the area. Therefore, it becomes to the mode form in my design project. I tried to flip the space of classroom, break the entity boundary and provide well generalty and security to make the learning environment be free. Hope that children can have fun when they are learning, playing when they are recycling. Turn the traditional classroom into an universe and let children go and have thier fun. 11


Ground Floor Plan 12


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Second Floor Plan

Roof Floor Plan 14


Children's Ball Playground (Planet in Universe)

Planet in Universe I create four ball frame structure in my design project. These planet are children's indoor playground. When they are learning, they may see these balls floating in the air like four planets. They may imagine that they are in outerspace and each child comes from different planet, trying to explore the world. Also, to complete the form of ball structure, the system of pipes are disposed in the bottom of balls. Wish that these small astronaut can have fun!

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Section A-A'

Section B-B'

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First Floor Plan

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03

LET'S RUN!CHILDREN

TKU 2016 Spring EA4 EN Lab Instructor:Yin Chang Yu Architecure & Detail Design Site:Tamsui River, Taipei Peoject:Kindergarten 1/4 Team Work & 3/4 Indivisual Work

" Our declaration is to realize a kindergarten without boundary to the nature." The energized space can encourage people by the smallest element. Nowadays, children usually stay indoor and lack of exercise. Therefore, I elongated the circulation to let children have more movement when they learning at school and break the boundary between people and nature. Besides, by continuously changing the movement, children can easily detect the transformation of the natural environment. And then to realize a kindergarten without boundary.

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Imagination of Children

Typology of the Kindergarten Circulation of Children

Method of Breaking Boundary Step 1

A2

A3

Indoor Playground Nature (light)

Dinamic (wall) Nature (divided light)

Dinamic (height) Nature (light)

A4

A5

A6

Static (take a nap) Puzzle Video Games House Plant Nature (tree)

Static (corner) Nature (view/light)

Semioutdoor Painting Nature (sunset senery)

Step 1 without boundary

Step 3

A1

how to create the most vital space

site has boundary

Step 4

Circulation of Adults

B1

B2

B3

Office Meeting Room Nature (light)

Classroom Lunch Time Nature (light)

Reading Painting Viewing Platform Nature (senery)

B4

B5

B6

Outdoor Activity Scientific Experiment Nature (tree)

Craft Drama/Cosplay Nature (light/veiw)

Lunch Time Puzzle Game Nature (senery)

use the circulation to crack the site

to break the boundary

Step 5

Imagination of space

put the nature along the circulation

Step 6

create indoor space along the circulation

Circulation of Intersection Area

C1 Kitchen Snack Time

C2 Stairs Leisure Time

C3 Greenery Watering Time

Timeline

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I think that children have most exercise means that the boundary is disapeared. Besides, I seperate the circulation into two ways. One is for adults and another is for children. It is because that children feel uneasiness when adults restrict them. If they have thier own circulation, it becomes thier secret spot. Moreover, I add some elements to make more unpredictable corner. Hope that they can have more fun and movement when they are learning at school. Also, two circulations may cross in the site. Everybody may have some special activity in these intersection area. No matter which circulation, they have some typology to respond the timeline and natural environment.


Unrestrained Kindergarten The function of spaces and the density in the design project varying with time. After saying goodbye to their parents in the mornong, children still can't calm down. So I put the dinamic area near the entrance. During the lunch time, children and teacher will come to the intersection area to eat lunch and see the river senery. Before they go home, people may stay at the balcony to see the sunset of Tamsui River. By the continuously changing of the movement, children can easily detect the transformation of the natural environment. And then to realize a kindergarten without boundary.

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A

Exploded View of Adult's Circulation

1.Wood Beam 2.L-bar 3.I-iron 4.Window Steel Frame 5.Screw 6.T-bar 7.Agglutination Glass 8.Beam Bracket

ROOF

SKIN

B

1.Bamboo 2.U-bar 3.Screw 4.Steel Frame 5.Flashing 6.Plywood 7.Metal Plate 8.Cable

SKIN

FLOOR

Bamboo Skin Metal Side Flashing Wood Beam Iron Beam Beam Bracket

Gravel Earth Covered Water-proof Layer Roof Deck Board Partition Wall

Agglutination Glass

Iron Colum

Window Steel Frame

Wood Floor Board

Gutter Pipeline

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Insulation Cement Foundation

Detail of Adult's Circulation To supply the demand of classroom and office, the material and the construction may be spacial. People can easily aware the transformation of nature light by bamboo skin. The light just like a clock which lead people go to the place in time. Afte survey the climate of Tamsui, I choose the deep wood beam to become one part of the design project's struture. The wood beams can let the light become gentle when it enters the room. Therefore, the room become moderate and sutible for teacher and students. According to the area and the time line, there are also six type construction of adult's circulation. For example, with balcony or not and with the earth covered or not. The different classroom's demand will be reponded by the construction and material. These transformation are all for children's education because the nature is the best teaching materials.


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23


Exploded View of Children's Circulation

A

1.Steel Colum 2.Window Steel Frame 3.U-bar 4.Steel Frame 5.L-bar 6.Punched Plate 7.Screw 8.Glass

ROOF

SKIN

B

1.Steel Colum 2.Window Steel Frame 3.Cable 4.Steel Frame 5.L-bar 6.Punched Plate

SKIN

FLOOR

Glass Beam

Punched Plate

Agglutination Glass

Steel Frame

Cable

Metal Side Flashing

Sliding Doors

Steel Colum

Window Steel Frame

Steel Frame

Wood Floor Board

Insulation

Pipeline

Cement Foundation

Detail of Children's Circulation To supply the demand of children's playground, the rolling hight change when the function and the timeline change. I put the pipeline under the floor rather than on the ceiling because I think that the sky is an important nature element to children. They can feel more free when there is no sight obstrucction above thier sky. According to the area and the time line, there are also six type construction of children's circulation. Some are dinamic playground and some are static playground. The construction is different with the adult's circulation becuase it can easily to seperate two circulation. However, two circulations may cross in the site. Everybody may have some special activity in these intersection area. Children may feel safety but free beacuse they can not only have thier own secreat spot but can see adults near them. If there are some emergency situation, teacher can help them immediatly. The kindergarten is safe but without boundary ! 24


I elongated the circulation to let children have more movement when they learning at school and break the boundary between people and nature.You can really realize that the kindergarten without boundary but it is still safe for children. Parents do not have to worry about the sercurity. Besides, two circulation encircle six coutyards, people can have some science lesson and leisure activities in the area. They can also have picnic in courtyard during the lunch time and the snack time. The kindergarten brings the nature of Tamsui in every area and corner. Now, please leave the television or ipad. Let's run as much as we like, Children. And learning with the nature! Hope that you can have fun everyday in the kindergarten!

Adult's Circulation Section

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Children's Circulation Section

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04

LIGHT OF MAZE

TKU 2015 Fall EA3 Tamsui Church Instructor:Yi Cheng Lai Architecure Design Site:Tamsui River, Taipei Peoject:Church Indivisual Work

" Let's explore the blurry and light Tamsui Church ." When I walked in the blurry and light town, I got lost and tried to find the right way. However, I didn't feel afraid but relax. The experience just like the Bible Story. After you explore your life, you may find a light that guide you to the right way. Therefore, we don't have to afraid of the maze cause God is always beside us.

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Light and Blurry Mountain Town

Exploded View of Light Maze

Light

Cover (plants)

To respond the environment of Tamsui, I plant larger-scale trees in the site. And increase the sensuous plane.

Blurry

Blurry&Light

Fifth Floor Plan

The straigt and thin elements and plants make the boundary become blurry and light. And it make people feel just like walking in the maze but the light may guide them. Forth Floor Plan

Weave

Vertical and horizontal path weave together and become a maze landscape. People can walk on these path to find the direction. Third Floor Plan

Adapt (veritcal context)

The building continuie the vertical context. Bring people come to the church.

Site Plan Second Floor Plan

Tamsui is a mountain town that near the river. The house distributed in the mountain are organic. People usually got lost when they come here first time. The Vertical and horizontal path weave together and become a maze landscape. But after exploring every alley and lane, you would be infatuated with this blurry maze cause the light may guide you to the right way just like the God is always beside us. Therefore, I try to design the experience in to the project. Bring people go to the church and find thier life's true essence.

South Elevation

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Adapt (horizontal context)

The Gallery continuie the horizontal context. Bring people come to the church.

First Floor Plan

East Elevation


You can have a lot communication when you come to the lively commercial area. Here is th best space for you to explore because I put a lot of straight colum and plants to blurr the sight viewing. And there are also a lot of path and stairs fore you to explore the vital space. After passing a long way and exploring, you may come to a long gallery where shows stories of biblical classic. When you cross over the garden, you may come to a big and peaceful space to let you meditation and concerntration. It would be the church. You can also go to the upstairs outdoor church, the best area for wedding.

Section A-A'

Section B-B'

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05

DIARY OF GREENERY

TKU 2016 Spring EA3 Dihua Street Condominium Instructor:Ming Chen Architecure Design Site:Dihua Street, Taipei Peoject:Condominium Indivisual Work

" When I take me to your heart, I can see your daily life by the greenery." Dihua street is a fallen area in Taipei city.However, I can see the vitality when I take myself to the street and resident. They take care of others and the relationshipe between each other are closely interrelated. After I wrote the diary of greenery to record thier daily life. I was attraccted by the vital street.

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Tendency of Greenery

Tree and Living

Floor Plans and Greenery

Urban Greenery

First Floor Plan

Second Floor Plan

Seventh Floor Plan

Third Floor Plan

Eighth Floor Plan

Forth Floor Plan

Forth Floor Plan

Fifth Floor Plan

Nineth Floor Plan

Sixth Floor Plan

Tenth Floor Plan

Village Greenery

South Elevation

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East Elevation

North Elevation


After I survey the Dihua street's greenery, I found out that there are many different kind of using situation when people arrange the plant. The different arrangement of greenery just like a diary revording the resdents' daily life. The chinese proverb says " Home as the foundation." Therefore, I use the symbolic of tree to arrange different kind of family. For example, the grandparenting family should be arrange in lower floors, and the rented room should be arrange in higher floors. Besides, by the different using situation, I also plant and arrange the greenery in the condominium. Hope that people who live here could be more comfortable and the neighborhood's relationship could be frendly and closer.

Section A-A'

Section B-B'

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RELINKING SYMBIOTIC LIFEFORMS

Cracking Neglect through Energies from New Interactions

2016 Summer Asian Housing Workshop Instructor:Kaz Yoneda Project:Housing Design Site:Toyama Houing, Japan Team Work " Let's breaking the phenomenal wall!" The current situation in the site is similar to the milting ice. in our opinion ,the entrance and the route inside the site are compared to cracks on the ice .and the activities in this area are compared to energy.But now ,these cracks and energy are still not enough to break the icewall all around the site. so now, we will try to make there condition more powerful, hope that the area can full of vitality and friendly.We identify the following issues as essential and critical issues facing Toyama Heights: isolation caused by the disconnection to the surrounding,alienation caused by the lack of communication to each other,lack of population diversityand the combination of high demand and occupancy but low density. In order to address these issues, we intend to execute these on this site tocreate new paths between buildings and surroundings,combination of larger public spaces and smaller distributed public elements ,insertion of new diverse programs for young people from both within and out the site to interact with elders, even by chance,transfer units that become empty to be converted into denser units for non-traditional households with shared amenities.By doing this, we intend to relinking symbiotic lifeforms & Cracking neglect through energies from new interactions. To improve this part of the society and to project new lifestyles of the future. To achieve our dream, we have some strategies here.The first is to increase the diversity of the site, like population, let more youngers come here, and also increase the diversity of lifestyle and activities .And then we use some operations to reprogram our site, such as deleting, inserting, adding to the top of building.we decide the center here first according to the location of buildings here. And then we reroute the site to link some spots or provide convenience according to our site.And then reprogramming.Hoping to make Toyama Heights become vitality and friendly. Operation

Diversity

Programming

Reprogramming

Programming Code

Section

Design Model

Imagination of Vitality

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SHARING AND LIVING 2016 Architecture by zero Competition (Special Recognition Prize) Instructor:Wei Shiang Sung Project:Zero Energy Student Dormitory Site:San Francisco State University, America Team Work " Save energy and money. More interaction and activity." In this project, We try to design a communicative student housing that not only encouraging residents to talk toeach other, but also share with each other’s life, and interactive with surrounded neighborhood—at the same time, to be an energy self-sufficiency community. Sharing Strategies : A. Student Farms—We designed a housing community with “layers of terrace farms” to encourage students to learn how to be a net zero user from the food resources. Students can claim a field or fish pond to cultivate by themselves. B. Indoor and outdoor activity areas—We create lots of indoor and outdoor social areas from open kitchen, roof swimming pool (facing Lake Merced) to layers of indoor and outdoor party terraces, bike paths and so on. This is to encourage residents to take chances to share their life together and to make the community full of lively vitalities and be friendly. Net-Zero Strategies : A. Water Recycle—we have design the fog harvestingsystem located on west side of the buildings in order to deal with the frequent heavy fog in San Francisco. The condensed water from fog harvesting system can also be recycled for bath, kitchen and vegetation. B. Wind Tower Generator—Put Wind Power Generator toward the west to take advantage of seasonal wind years around. C. Solar Energy —Design 10780.8ft2 solar panels facing south to alleviate on-site energy demand. D. Bio-Gas and Geothermal System—2/3 of Kitchens, bathrooms are linking with bio-gas energy system. And the geothermal system is using to exchange the heat from underground.

We try to design a communicative student housing that not only encouraging residents to talk toeach other, but also share with each other’s life, and interactive with surrounded neighborhood—at the same time.Therefore, we create three types of student suits. Type1 2 shared suit(2 bedroom+1 restroom) shared the livingroom, kitchen and diningroom. Type2 1 apartment with a double bedroom+ 1 apartment with 2 bedroom+ 2 shared suit(2 bedroom+1 restroom) Each of them have there livingroom, kitchen and diningroom, but they can easily meet another room’s student by the public area. Type 3 1 apartment with a double bedroom+ 1 apartment with 2 bedroom+ 5 shared suit(2 bedroom+1 restroom) The type 3 combine more rooms in one unit. People can have more interaction in this kind of combination.

1.field 2.fish pond 3.swimmingpool 4.residence 5.parking 6.cafe 7.dining center 8.children care center 9.student lunge 12.leasure place 13.sports area 14.square 10.meeting lunge 11.lecture hall

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SELF-INTRODUCTION

SPATIAL EXTENTIOAN

2013 Fall Art Creation Topic:Self-Introduction Instructor:Li Wen Sung Individual Work

2013 Fall Art Creation Topic:The Space In The Ink Instructor:Li Wen Sung Individual Work


EXPLORATION OF ARCHITECTURE

LYRICS OF TAMSUI

2013 Fall Art Creation Topic:What is Architecture Instructor:Li Wen Sung Individual Work

2013 Fall Art Creation Topic:Exploration of Tamsui Instructor:Li Wen Sung Individual Work

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THOSE PEOPLE THOSE STORIES 1

THOSE PEOPLE THOSE STORIES 2

/ 別人眼中的她 / 很開朗樂觀、有自信、外向然後活得 很快樂沒有什麼煩惱,有點濫好人傾 向的一個人

/ 別人眼中的她 / 過動、白痴、呆 、人不錯、大方、活 潑、雞婆、不果斷、常笑、為朋友付出、 幼稚、 愛嗆朋友

/ 她認為的自己 / 沒什麼自信很怕自己出錯,常常想很 多,不太喜歡跟人接觸比較喜歡自己 一個人

/ 她認為的自己 / 她所認為的她應該是個悲觀主義者外 加偶爾超級厭世,很愛糾結小事情、 沒自信,喜歡笑的感覺

2017 年 5 月 22 日晚上 8 點,一個少了太陽才發現穿得太過單薄的一天。 她是一個看起來很成熟的女孩,本來還以為年紀應該跟我差不多才對,才發現原來她比我小了許多。 然而,像這樣外表成熟的女孩,內心卻非常的柔軟。 「那……我先開始了。」她甜甜又軟軟的嗓音有些顫抖,似乎非常緊張,其實,我也是,好緊張好緊張。 但她的聲音好像有魔力,軟綿綿的讓人不自覺地想聽她一直說下去。 故事是從一個男孩莫名其妙地賞了女孩一巴掌開始的。 男孩說 :「這是個遊戲。」 女孩明明還處於震驚,當下卻馬上收起那不適合那個氣氛下的表情,開始和男孩打打鬧鬧,彷彿在 一瞬間理解了這只是一個遊戲罷了。可是這個遊戲的主導權卻不在她那裏,甚至連遊戲規則還不懂 就跟著玩了起來,可是不照著別人的遊戲規則走,就好像是錯的。 她好像沒有選擇似的,像是個玩偶被擺弄來擺弄去,然而玩偶沒有意識,她有。 「那時候,我一直活在別人的眼裡,我覺得好累。」 在她想改變的時候,卻又發生了更多更多讓自己疲憊不堪的事情。沒有人能理解為什麼她要改變, 像是變成了他們不認識的人一樣,因此疏遠。小的時候,我們不懂甚麼是背叛,覺得那兩個字好難懂, 大家應該都是一樣善良的人才對。長大以後,才知道,這世界上難懂的,是真心。 「都已經這樣了,好像,也沒甚麼好說的。」女孩輕輕地吐出這一句話。 她的世界裡,事情還沒有事過境遷,還沒有走到下一個章節。她仍然在乎著別人眼中的自己是甚麼 模樣。 我想,沒有人不在乎別人的眼光,我們同樣活在別人的眼裡,只是希望在自己的眼裡能夠活得夠漂 亮,就好。 後來我開始說起了自己為甚麼改變的故事,女孩也靜靜地聽著。 其實改變沒有什麼了不起,我們生命中的每分每秒都不停地在改變,所有的事情都是潛移默化地改 變著自己。 改變並不難得,難得的是當自己有意識地想要改變。變化,然後更好。 「我們有笑得哀傷的時候,也有傷得只能笑的時候。人情總比事情複雜,不用哭笑得那麼守時。」 在話結束的時候,在我們開始能比較自在聊天的時候卻該結束變回陌生人的時候,我想起了林夕曾 寫過這麼一段話,想送給這位女孩。 祝好,祝妳能帶著那極其難得的柔軟卻堅強的心,繼續走這漫漫的人生歲月。

2017 年 6 月 1 日,這天,烏雲密佈了一整個下午,是個好像需要用力呼吸才不會窒息的一天。照片 中的女孩穿著冬季的大衣,手上拿著一堆飲料杯,笑容很美很燦爛,看起來是個活潑的女孩。直到 故事說完我才明白,燦爛的笑容,是為了保護自己不受傷的一種防衛。 「高一的時候,我很積極地想認識每個人,想交到很多好朋友,還會算今天跟多少人講了什麼話。」 16 歲時的她,活潑爛漫,世界似乎都隨著自己的心情與積極的心態如春天般那樣美好,她很喜歡這 樣開朗的自己。她擁有很多朋友,在這當中,有一個人踏進自己最深處那柔軟的心。他們很要好、 很要好,要好到從未想過這段關係會有消失的一天。人的心很奇怪,有一道一道的門檻。我們不知 道有多少人在門檻前徘徊又走了,但永遠記得曾經踏進來並待上一陣子的人。就算他後來走了,我 們還是記得。 「後來,我滑了所有我跟他的對話紀錄後便刪除了,然後⋯那天晚上就哭了,哈哈。因為我不想要在 一段關係不如從前一樣的時候,自己卻還看著對話紀錄懷念。當別人問起為什麼刪除時,我都說是 習慣。」 從那天之後,她明白,兩人的關係不可能再回到從前。也是從那天起,她開始有了定期刪掉對話紀 錄的習慣。不管這個人跟自己交心與否,對話開心抑或悲傷,她都會刪除。是不是每個人,都會有 一個為了保護自己才有的習慣?而這個習慣,卻是因為曾經受傷才擁有的。這個習慣,這個平常以 為只是一種慣性的習慣,卻會在某些時分提醒自己的傷痛。後來,女孩遇見了一位心思細膩的男孩, 一個會關心她、懂她的男孩。女孩小心翼翼地保護著這段關係,但很作弄的,儘管這次這麼細心呵護, 進入門內的他,不知道為什麼,也只是待了一陣子而已。 「我覺得要建立一段很深的關係很難,漸漸地不想要再去了解別人。我怕再次發生那些難過的事情, 所以我開始逃避,逃避到現在不想交新朋友。逃避變成自己的一部份了,不再和別人聊心事了。」 「那妳喜歡現在的自己嗎?」我問。 「我喜歡高一的自己,可是現在的我也是我。」 人的成長經過時間層層疊疊,堆疊出我們現在的模樣,我們總忍不住把自己和過去做比較,但我們 終究回不到那個時候,也丟不掉現在。如果可以,希望可以更喜歡現在的自己一點。聽完了她的故事, 我也說了曾經放在我心上的兩個人的故事。他們最後都走了,而且都是莫名奇妙的離開了。沒有激 烈爭吵,沒有難堪的局面,就是淡淡地,逐漸消失在你的生命裏。回頭還以為還在,依稀感受得到 他的溫度,卻再也見不到、碰觸不了。彷彿離開是這麼容易的事情。 最後我和女孩在結束談話前,兩人都沈默了很長一段時間。我不知道女孩是不是跟我一樣,在說出 這些故事的時候也把自己的樣子好好地看過一遍。我們都是被回憶綁架的人質,被記憶制約了自己。 情感豐沛到怕別人接不住,選擇自己吞噬一切。願我們都可以在回頭看的時候,還懂得繼續向前走。 「妳能送一首歌給我嗎?一首適合我的歌。」最後對話結束前,女孩提出了這個要求。 「好啊。」我聽見我毫不猶豫的答應了她。 不看昨日好傷感 不留戀美好短暫 難料人生的峰迴路轉 關於考驗的答案 至走到真理的那端 都走到了這 都走到了這 就不再回頭看 —詹森淮《都走到了這》

41

後來,在 6 月 1 日我們結束對話後,台北下了三天的暴雨。


THOSE PEOPLE THOSE STORIES 3

THOSE PEOPLE THOSE STORIES 4

/ 別人眼中的她 / 天真樂天沒什麼煩惱,蠻白癡的,像 玩咖

/ 別人眼中的她 / 熱情開朗的人,有正義感、好惡分明,直 來直往

/ 她認為的自己 / 步伐緩慢,理想很遠,喜歡讀詩

/ 她認為的自己 / 膽小,擔心別人對我的眼光,害怕沒辦法 滿足別人的期待。比起跟很多人一起玩, 更喜歡安靜的自己看小說。就像貓一樣, 我可以靠近你但是請你不要靠近我

「人生不要錯過兩樣,一是回家的末班車,二是愛你的人。」─《深海裡的星星》

「複雜是為了保護自己,單純是為了善待別人。」─張西

2017 年 6 月 21 日 晚上十點半,在氣象說會連續下七天雨的第五天,在這繁華城市裡,天空中出現 了難得一見的星星。

2017 年 7 月 3 日晚上九點,雷陣雨過後的台北,不知道是不是心理作用,空氣感覺特別清晰。照片 中的女孩笑得好燦爛好燦爛,女孩是那種聽著她的談話與笑聲,整個氛圍也都輕鬆且溫暖起來,而 你真的會相信她就是這麼一個開朗的人。

那年,她高一,他高三,他們在吉他社結下緣分,從朋友變成情人。 「朋友都說他對我很好,說我不夠用心,可是當下,我好像都沒有什麼感覺。」

「我家裡是開店的,以前我和弟弟都會在家裡幫忙,然後國一時我喜歡上一個會來店裡吃飯的帶點 憂鬱氣息的男生,他的頭髮軟軟的,就像王子一樣。」

男孩很喜歡寫詩,時常寫給女孩,寫了日常,寫了生活,更多的是,寫了他們的感情。小時候,我 們總會給自己喜歡的人,遞上一封寫滿了心意的卡片。生日卡片也好、聖誕節卡片也罷,我們寫天、 寫地、寫認識過程與場景,卻從不露骨地寫「我喜歡你」。

在那個什麼都不懂的年紀,女孩將這份心意藏得很裡面。她會故意去男孩那裏送餐,然後偷瞄幾眼。 會在上學時騎腳踏車經過他的學校看他一臉睡眼惺忪的模樣,然後差點遲到。單純又瘋狂,卻什麼 也不敢對他說。

「有些詩現在回去讀起來很令人難過,但當時的我卻從來沒有仔細地關心他,就像沒有踏進他的世 界裡一樣……」女孩靜靜吐出了這句話。

「後來我高一時交了一個男朋友,然後悲劇收場。很長一段時間沒辦法走出來,一直覺得自己做不 好。然後高三時,那個男生又開始來店裡吃飯,他跟我的弟弟開始熟了起來,也加了我 FB。」

遺憾的是,那些文字傳遞出去了,心意,卻仍留在原地。

「高三升大一的暑假,在夏天的尾巴,他很慎重地密我說要跟我說一件事情,但我覺得那時候還沒 有準備好,就躲起來沒見他。」

『我以為我在你身旁,我們便會一直走下去,原來,我只是橋,不是你的岸』 後來,男孩與女孩分開了,兩個人的緣分,彷彿就像是男孩寫給女孩的詩一樣,他是橋,送女孩到 岸上,緣分止於走在橋上的每個步伐。 人的一生,有多少時候,是靜靜地守護在一個人的身邊,又有多少時候,能幸運地被人捧在手心上 呵護。 然而,我們又是甚麼時候,才能學會珍惜。 「分開以後,我才懂得怎麼去愛一個人。」 女孩的桌上,還留著男孩寫給他的字條,也因為他養成了讀詩的習慣,生活裡好像都有他的蹤影, 但他已不在身邊了。 「我好喜歡文字,不知道是不是因為他的關係。現在我是考生了,也想像學長一樣念中文。」 改變我們的,往往都是這些人情世故,因為某些人某些事,我們可能確信了某些情感,改變了某些 想法。它們雖然已經從我們的世界裡離開,卻好像又化作為某些力量,引領我們向前邁進。我始終 相信,一段情感的消逝,帶給我們的不只是悲傷與遺憾。 願女孩,在未來的日子裡,能變成她想成為的人。

漸漸地,他們變成了朋友,會開始聊天,女孩對男孩還是有好感,只是不知道為什麼,好像有什麼 不一樣了。人的一生有好多種情感,隨著年紀的增加,有些好像不再如以往一樣單純。要說是甚麼 開始變得複雜了,又好像說不太上來。我們好像開始害怕起來、擔心著那些未來,那些曾經不懂的 世故,那些我們不懂的大人,好像漸漸地都懂了。 「而且原來在以前我很喜歡、很喜歡他的時候,他就已經在注意我了。就算現在想談戀愛,也不會 找他了。沒有辦法超過朋友,跨不過去那個崁。」孩笑著說,然後嘆了口氣。 雖然明明她只要願意再往前踏一步,他們之間就不會再只是朋友而已。他仍然是她熟悉的模樣,不 會讓人覺得太冷或太燙,卻在他表明心意的時候,女孩怎樣也找不回當時對他的模樣與情感。那些 彷如昨日般鮮明的記憶,終究會被無情的時光一一消磨。只是覺得好可惜,沒在我最好的時候遇見 親愛的你。 「大一的時候,我差點喜歡上我的高中同學,有一次他載我,我在機車後座的時候,從後面抱住他、 靠著他。突然之間我很害怕,然後整個半年都不敢聯絡他。」 我發現我和女孩一樣,真的要面對情感的那一刻,總會膽怯。我們的懦弱只允許我們在事過境遷以 後才開始遺憾當初怎麼不再勇敢一些。在對話結束前,我們聊了故事以外的日常。和女孩說話的時 候好輕鬆好簡單,好像認識了好久的朋友一樣,沒有負擔。但我心裡清楚,她和我一樣,其實內心 有些複雜,只是不擅長表現給別人看而已。 「希望我們都能那麼瀟灑得 let it go」女孩說著然後伴隨一個爽朗的笑聲。 願我們都能等到一個人,能看見我心底的複雜。或者,我願意傾出我所有的人。 42


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哎呀! 你在哪? 童話故事創作/ 點點文創工作室出版

森森是一隻兔子,他的個性有些倔強,常常覺得自己很不快樂,覺得自己少了甚麼讓自己不滿足。有一天,森森和他的爸爸媽媽吵架,因為實在太生氣 了所以決定離家出走,他甚麼也沒有帶,就前往了動物森林裡,離開了讓他生氣的家。走著走著,他聽到樹上傳來一首聽起裡很好聽的歌聲,啊!原來 是小雀呢! 「小雀小雀!你為什麼這麼開心呢?」森森覺得小雀的歌聲裡充滿快樂的感覺,似乎就是他缺少的一部份,他希望知道快樂的秘方。 「因為有『愛呀』,就快樂啊!」小卻不以為然的說,然後繼續哼著唱著。 「哎呀?哎呀是什麼啊?」森森沒有聽懂,追問著小雀。 可是小雀自顧自地唱著歌,沒有告訴森森到底甚麼是哎呀。因此,森森決定要靠自己的力量去尋找哎呀。他覺得,只要有了哎呀,他就會快樂起來。只 要有了哎呀,就可以逃離不快樂的深淵裡。森森繼續在森離裡走哇走,突然他聞到一股很甜很甜的味道。然後他看見了熊仔在吃蜂蜜 , 看起來很幸福的 樣子,還舔了舔嘴巴。 「熊仔熊仔!你怎麼這麼幸福呢是不?是因為有哎呀?」森森問。 「是啊!蜂蜜就是我的最愛呀!」 「那也讓我嚐一口好不好?」森森心想,如果可以嚐一口讓熊仔這麼幸福的蜂蜜,自己應該就能懂甚麼是哎呀吧!蜂蜜應該就是快樂的秘方肯定錯不 了。可是正當森森想嚐一口蜂蜜的時候,突然被一隻有著尖刺的蜜蜂用力地螫了! 森森不僅沒感受到熊仔說的幸福的滋味,還覺得好痛好痛!還沒等 到答案,森森趕緊逃離那裏,免得又被螫傷。好不容易終於沒有蜜蜂了,森森發現他來到了池塘邊。然後他看見了牛哥在泡澡,看起來非常享受。 「這種天氣我最愛泡澡了」牛哥瞇著眼睛看著天空,微笑著。 「牛哥牛哥!泡澡就是哎呀嗎?」森森歪著頭問牛哥。 「是阿!」 一聽到牛哥這麼說,撲通一聲!森森跳進池塘裡,想感受甚麼是哎呀,他心想,這下總該讓我體會傭有哎呀的感覺了吧。可是水池對森森來說實在太 深了,他不但還沒有享受的感覺還差點溺水,他發現自己沒辦法像牛哥一樣泡澡就可以找到哎呀,一點幸福的感覺都沒有。森森很害怕地逃離池塘邊, 此時此刻,他覺得又冷又累。森森感到好氣餒,到處都找不到讓自己可以又快樂又幸福又享受的哎呀,他發現,大家好像都能很輕易地找到哎呀,只有 自己不行。 天色漸漸暗了,森森失望地走了回家。當他推開門,家裡的燈是溫暖的米黃色,爸爸媽媽哥哥姐姐都圍了過來。 「森森呀 ! 你跑去哪啦!我們好擔心阿!」森森的姐姐擔心的看著他 「森森,快來吃飯囉!媽媽今天有準備你最愛的紅蘿蔔跟菠菜喔!」媽媽笑著說。 「森森,等等吃完晚餐我們來玩誰跳得高的遊戲吧!」哥哥興奮地邀請森森一起玩耍。 突然間,森森的胸口覺得好暖好暖,好像有甚麼缺口被補起來的感覺。 「你們,為甚麼要等我一起吃飯一起玩,還這麼擔心我呢?」 「傻瓜,因為這就是愛啊!」大家異口同聲地說。 終於,森森知道原來哎呀不是哎呀,哎呀就是愛阿!愛就是,有人為自己擔心、可以吃到自己喜歡的食物,玩自己最喜歡的遊戲。 經過漫長的一天,森森才發現,原來,愛這麼簡單,原來,愛就在自己的身邊。 44


SHIRINE

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SHIRINE LEE

Shirine Lee 2017 profolio  

Dept. of Architecture|Tamkang University

Shirine Lee 2017 profolio  

Dept. of Architecture|Tamkang University

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