Page 1


Pardon Me!

Atishoo! Sorry

Sorry! About your paddle

Whoops! Sorry!

Sorry, Mr Tiger!

Maybe I should go to bed and sleep off this cold

Yeah !

Dave the Dragon Batista A fighter, a Man mountain and a good friend who

always phones his Mum Tony Tyson he is also a nice fella, who phones his Mum,

My name is Jimbo Carvery and I have rolled up ham stuck on my arms with cellotape!

I am the RocketMan and I am a bit Random!

JimBo Carvery in this year’s National Poetry day in the PAC at Hereward College

MMM! Ham!

Lewis “ The IceMan” Smith! The IceMan cometh!!!

Nicola the Ultimate Cage Fighter!

MY PERFECT DAY BY JIMBO CARVERY My perfect day starts in my manor house. I start pretty early and go down to a horse market and buy myself a pure black horse and a white one to go with it. Then I would invite Lewis round and beat him on a game on the hundred inch plasma screen TV, with surround sound. Then down for breakfast at eight. Then I would fly over to Japan. First of all I would go find a Dojo to learn Kung Fu and then I would go to a swordsmith and pay him to forge me a sword of gold. Then back on the plane back to England and I would go tot a car dealership to get me an Aston Martin DB9. Next go to my girlfriends in my car and whisk her off to Venice where I’d surprise her with one of the horses, I would give her the white ones because loves unicorns and then ride full gallop till morning.

My Perfect Day by Lewis “ The Ice Man” Smith My perfect day would be staying in bed till Ten. Me and my friends go to the Cinema in a Limosine. We would all be dressed up smartly in suits or tuxedos, then after we get out of the limosine we would have paparazzis waiting for us like celebrities. We would have thousands of fans waiting for us to sign their autographs. Then after the film is finished we will be getting back into our limosine and going back to our local bar for an event called “ Celebrity Night”, which is an event where only celebrities can attend (no matter what type of celebrity they are). During the celebrity night there will be stand up comedy and live bands performing after the show is over my celebrity gang will return home to their respective homes.

Nicola the Ultimate Cage fighter ‌the story so far! I loved to spend my money and I have been in Hereward College for a long time and I am leaving next year! I enjoyed being in Hereward and learn all different things in college. I will be sad to leave all the staff and my friends. I have done all my courses in ICT english and enrichment, maths and work experience. I like Eastenders and BBC News I am going to start to look for a Job when I leave college


by basil faulty

Basil Fawltey monologue by Jessica Allen Bye dear. I hope you have a good day. Don’t worry about me, I’ll just be here trying to run a hotel all by myself. But you just go off and have a marvellous day with Audrey. Cybil leaves but basil continues I couldn’t think of anything worse myself, sitting there listening to her moan all day, about her apparent problems. But you do seem to quite enjoy it dear, don’t you? Darling? Odd that. He looks round and realises she has gone. Oh, how nice! No ‘I hope you manage ok basil, I’ll be thinking of you, call me if you need anything.’ Nothing. Not a sausage. Oh well, I don’t know why I’m surprised it’s always the same. As if I am invisible. That would be fun! I could go and haunt the guests in the middle of the night. That would brighten up my life, bring a bit of amusement to my day. I could go and be a fly on the wall at Audrey’ s house and see why my darling wife really does like going there. Perhaps she has a nightclub stashed away in her attic. Pauses That wouldn’t surprise me. The woman is so boring, she must have to have some excitement in her life. He gets up and goes into the dining room where he gets himself a plate. He plonks two slices of toast on it and a little packet of butter then walks back through to wear he was sitting and spreads the butter onto the toast and eats it Right, suppose I better get on with running this hotel, it won’t run itself. I could let Manwell run it for the day. That would scare some of the snobby customers away! Talking of Manwell, where is he? Probably causing some havoc somewhere no doubt. I don’t know why we bothered hiring him, he is more trouble than he’s worth. I did tell Cybil that would be the case when she first suggested it to me. But did she listen? No. she knows best, I should know that by now. ‘He will help to add ambience to the hotel, basil’ she said. Ambience? Can you call it that?

Yes we have no bananas by Jay “SweatBall� Joshi I wake up early in my penthouse with a massive headache after going on a drinking spree. I decide to go for a swim and decide to ring my friends to see if they want to come out again. We decide to go to Las Vegas and one of my friends charters a private jet to take. On the plane we play crad games and I win loads of money on the card games. When I get there I go to a casino and win even more. This attracts all the showgirls who pamper me and make a fuss of me. Later that day David and Victorian Beckham invite me back to theirs for a party where I meet lots of other football stars. They give me tickets for the biggest game of the season in the VIP box. Then we head home and pickle some assorted nuts with Simon Cowell.

Kieran and Jimbo’s Games review!!!

Hiyah everyone here are our favourite games!! we have marked them out of Five……… Five is very very very good and one is very very very very poor! so he it goes for this issue’s games review!!.... Kieran wwe smackdown vs raw 2009 (PSP) is a 3 Mario Kart is of course a 5 mario party is a 4 mario bros is a 5 (get over it) super mario 64 is a 5 (even though dave thinks it should be a 3) Jimbo hmmm Ham! matrix path of flipping neo is a 15 (oh dear whats gone wrong!) call of duty final front is a 14 devil may cry 1 and 2 ………….flipping mega!!!!!!!! need for seeds ( gardening game ) gets a 12 conflict global storm is a army game with soldiers that’s a 10 tekken dr is the overall best gane in the world even better than setting up a savings account, or renewing your tax on your car!

Sweatball on the box!! whats worth watching tonight on TV

The X Factor ( This time its awful!) Highly recommended Saturday 17th of October 2009 8.00am to 10.00 pm on itv very popular search for very raw talent, on live every Staurday night. There is a battle with “Strictly come dancing” with Optimus Prime on BBC1 for viewing figures. This Saturday’s special guest on the X factor is Whitney Houson ( The lady who did that song for that film with that bloke who was in that thing with the flying car he was in the thing with the baseball cricket game and ghosts), all the way from Canada. Unfortunately Loooey Walsh won’t be there again as he is going to the funeral of a close friend. Personal rating ……Elephant

Candid momments from the Overtaker news room!!!!


Hereward College's first Independent magazine. Made by students full of stuff

Read more
Read more
Similar to
Popular now
Just for you