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Statistics show that youth crime is at an all-time high. As the Government announce new plans to tackle anti social behaviour Hype asks whether new measures go far enough to break the cycle of re-offending. This year has seen a soar in youth offending according to new statistics. Figures show Britain and Wales have more young people in custody than any other European country equal only to Turkey. These worrying stats show more than 2,000 youngsters have been banged up so far this year alone and the latest figures reveal more than 7,000 ASBOs were issued to under 18s in 2009. This month the government announced the ASBO would be abolished in favour of new behaviour orders. The new Criminal Behaviour Order can be attached to a criminal conviction whilst the Crime Prevention Injunction will target anti-social behaviour before it becomes a bigger problem. Individuals given the new orders could face punishments that include the


confiscation of personal items such as iPods or other electrical items. The reforms will also put pressure upon police to take low-level offences more seriously. Criticism of ASBOs since their introduction in 1999 centred around the fact that breaches of the order could only result in jail time, often seen as disproportionate to the crime rendering many ASBOs meaningless or unenforceable. Under the new proposals the police will be given a number of remedies to combat antisocial behaviour ranging from the confiscation of property to offenders repairing the damage they caused or washing away graffiti. Jack O’Connell, 19 from South London is a serial youth offender. He believes the new measures do not go far enough to deter youth crime. He says: “When I was 14 I was put on tag for the first time for fighting and criminal damage. I thought it was a weak punishment as I hardly ever obeyed my curfew and I still continued to break the law.” “I got in with the wrong crowd from my estate and everyone always egged me on to do crazy things which I did. I don’t think the punishment was fit for the crimes. Getting put on tag didn’t teach me anything as I only got put on it again when I was 16 for joy riding. It didn’t really seem like a punishment to me it just meant I had to be in a little bit earlier than my mates but we still did managed to get in to trouble before I had to be in. Looking back now maybe if I had a stronger punishment in the first place it would have stop me re-offending.” Jack continues never clever at school so I didn’t go much; looking back now if I had something to do with my time I reckon my behaviour wouldn’t have been so reckless.”


to say: “Most of the crimes I was committing were because I was bored. I was


Jack believes, along with many, that the Government are not enforcing

Youth worker Christine Clarke, 52 says: “Youth offending is very

strong enough punishments on youths encouraging them to re-offend.

common in Britain and in my personal experience it stems from these

Kenneth Clarke proposes that “young offenders could have their juvenile

youngsters being bored and going through bad childhood experiences.

criminal record scrapped once they reach 18 so they are not stopped from

Most of the kids I’ve worked with who have been in trouble with

pursuing options such as higher education.”

the police are falling behind at school and have not had a very good

Home secretary Theresa May says that society has to stop tolerating anti

upbringing, either coming from broken homes or suffered abuse.”

social behaviour as a bit of nuisance and make it stop. May has been the driving force in moving beyond the ASBO.

Christine from Reading says: “The route of the problem is the environment that children are brought up in today. They’re surrounded

Explaining her reasoning the MP said: “For 13 years, politicians told

by violence whether it comes from watching the television, to playing

us that the government had the answer; that the ASBO was the silver

video games to social networking sites. I think that sport needs to be

bullet that would cure all society’s ills. It wasn’t. Life is more complex

brought back in to children’s lives they need hobbies other then standing

than that.” May suggests, putting power into the hands of our citizens and

on street corners looking for trouble.”

trust into the professionals to try and solve this matter. She outlines the

Christine continued: Crime amongst young people stems for other

importance of society coming together and working together to tackle

reasons to, a child could be getting bullied or is under pressure from

youth crime. Yet aware that other social issues’ impact on youth crime

school, has money problems or there is too much of a wide availability

she adds: “It’s about dealing with the worklessness and reforming welfare.

of drugs and alcohol for them. They could face poor housing have no

There are 1.4 million young people under 25 who are not working or in

stability or even have learning difficulties. In my experience a lot of

full time education. They want to make something of their lives, and the

youth crime also starts out with peer pressure from other kids. If the

government have to help them do so.”

Government spend more time with these young offenders they will

Gary Simmonette a 41 year old Manchester police officer says: “There is

realise that not all of them are criminals they just need a little steering

only so much that we as police officers can do. If we catch youth’s offending

in the right direction.” To those working at a grass roots level it is clear

There are 1.4 million young people not working or in the in full time education. The Government have to help men do something with their lives. we take them in and follow the right procedures but it is down to the

that the recent measures lack gravitas and fail to address the real issues

courts and the government as to what punishments they get. If parents

relating to youth crime, failing to stop the cycle of re-offending. The

were stricter at home with their children they wouldn’t be gallivanting out

Conservatives have crowed how their new plans will introduce effective

and about annoying the innocent public and wasting police time.” Gary

measures to tackle anti-social behavior and low-level crime, including

from Manchester, adds: “I agree that youths need harsher punishments

forms of restorative justice such as Neighborhood Justice Panels. They

and more activities to keep them entertained. Schools need to be stricter

have also said that they will introduce a ‘rehabilitation revolution’ that

and so do the parents. There needs to be more opportunities for youths

will pay independent providers to reduce reoffending, paid for by the

after they have been punished to stop them re offending again.” James

savings this new approach will generate within the criminal justice

Benn was 17 when he was put on tag and he is now 26 and a reformed

system but this month’s new orders only go some way to fulfilling this

person. James says: “Being put on tag worked for me as I was constantly

promise. Christine added: “If Britain can stop youths re-offending by

embarrassed that I had to be in at a certain time. I was put on tag for 3

introducing these rehabilitation programs there’s a good chance that this

months but it was only valid on a Friday and Saturday night. When all

will stomp out the offending altogether. If kids can see that if they do

my mates were going out and having a laugh I had to go and sit in with

wrong they will get a real punishment they will be encouraged to do

my mum.”

something more with their time.”

James a carpet fitter from Croydon continued: “It defiantly made

For Marie Stuart, 54, having a criminal son has brought its own issues.

me think about what I did and made me not want to end up in the same

Her son Terry has had his collar felt more than once by the law and

position again. I was humiliated and kept my tag constantly hidden. I just

she feels stronger punishments are the only deterrent to persistent youth

couldn’t wait to get myself out of it and vowed never to do it again. I got into


a fight with another kid when I was younger and was hanging out on the

The Essex mum said: “My son Terry has recently been put on

streets. I agree with Theresa May when she says that teacher’s need to be

electronic tag for punching a bouncer outside a club, but there was

stricter and there needs to be more activities for kids to do. This will enable

nothing I could have done better as a mother. I taught him right from

them to get off the streets and do things that will keep them out of trouble.”

wrong but he is 19 now and at some point they need to start taking


responsibility for their own actions. “I think alcohol is a big part in

engagement and recreational activities to get youngsters involved to

youth crime. Everyone reacts to alcohol in different ways but when

keep them off the streets and out of trouble.

you’re younger boys like Terry binge drink with their mates and can’t

Youth worker Christine added: “ We need more incentives for

handle the effects properly. Alcohol seems to make kids over react to the

unemployed youngsters and we need more discipline in the classrooms.

smallest things. I see it all the time; kids underage drinking and getting

We need parents to become stricter and most importantly we need to

themselves into trouble. They need more of a structure to their lives and

come together as a society and stick together. Only when this is achieved

to stop wanting to grow up so fast but this is no excuse for Terry or other

will we see lower levels in youth crime.”

youth offender’s actions.”

‘Youth crime at its highest’ it all comes down to the same factors. This is a

Marie continued: “I think that stronger punishments need to be given so that youths learn from their mistakes. No matter how old you are when you break the law, you know that you are doing wrong and therefore should be punished. From a young age most are taught right from wrong and the consequences of doing wrong. No one should think that they are above the law. However for very young offenders I think there should be strict punishments that are not as harsh as prison, to prevent them being influenced by a wrong crowd – after all

problem that starts from basic childhood upbringing within homes and

All young people have incredible potential with the right support place

everyone is entitled to make a few mistakes.”

ventures on into schools. Roles have reversed so that the child has more control over the parents. Children no longer fear adults therefore boundaries are broken.“ Jennifer Izeko one of the newest members of the Youth Justice Board says: ‘All young people have incredible potential and with the right support in place, those in the criminal justice system can go on to become active and productive citizens. YOT is a new government initiative which aims to identify suitable programmes to address the needs of the young person with the intention of

Our best bet at tackling youth offenders could be to look to countries

preventing further offending.

who don’t suffer from this problem as much as the UK. Singapore boasts

Standing for the Young Offending Teams, the initiative consists of

one of the lowest youth crime rates in the world and this is down to

representatives from the police, probation service, social services, health,

scare tactics. Singapore has much harsher punishments which make

education, drugs and alcohol misuse and housing officers assigning a

youth’s not want to break the law through fear. Re-offending is also

key worker to a young offender to assess their behaviour and aims to

low compared to other countries as once a youth has been through a

identify the specific problems that make the young person offend as well

punishment they will not want to go through it again. According to

as measuring the risk they pose to others.

the professionals and the general public stronger punishments are the

If more services like this are made easily available to young offenders

way forward. There is also an underlying call for more focus on youth

then maybe we might have a chance at cracking down on this problem.


Sentence Number 22,958 32,020 42,351 30,447 28,187 15,157 23,274 38,323

Actual Population of Area (2004) 2.6m 5.0m 6.8m 5.3m 7.4m 3.0m 5.0m 8.1m

Ratio of Sentences to Population 1:113 1:156 1:161 1:174 1:177 1:198 1:215 1:211


Percentage of Sentences Per Population 0.88% 0.64% 0.62% 0.57% 0.56% 0.50% 0.47% 0.47%


Geographic Region North East Yorkshire North West Midlands London Wales South West South East


s t a t s e m i r c h t u uk yo



Male anorexia is grasping the lives of more men every year with no sign of ceasing. The thought of eating a meal making some men shiver with fear seems ridiculous; yet it is more real than it has ever been.

puberty than most kids. Top of his class, never received a detention, a genius in the making; Jack’s world began to crash around him because of the older kids. “I was teased when I was little for being fat by some top years, but I realise now it was the puppy fat that most boys have. I took it to heart and thought that the only way for everyone to like me was to just stop eating,” he said.

men working off the weekend’s curries,

Not only did this hinder his growth but it affected him

beer and crisps but for a minority of men,

emotionally to the point of depression; “I would never let

even the thought of a meal is daunting let

myself cry, because I was a boy and that would end in more

alone a whole weekend of binge eating and

grief at school, but I just wanted the world to swallow me up.”

drinking. Male anorexia is taking away

Jack was a great runner and he found that losing weight

lives and making the thought of calories

helped him to beat his previous records in the 100m sprint.

create shivers throughout sufferer’s bodies.

He soon became the popular athlete that he had been

Horrific stories about girls or women with anorexia

dreaming of and felt as though he was being rewarded for

nervosa are featured daily in many different magazines,

the choices he was making. Every boy in school wanted to

online and are told from person to person. However, the

be him, with the girls following him around like sheep. But

issue of male anorexia is hidden under a blanket of secrecy

inside, he was realising that the joy of being popular is short-

across the world. According to many of the leading support

lived when your body is beginning to fail.

organisations including Beat, the charity aiming to combat

After months of not eating his weight had dropped from

eating disorders, 15% of anorexia nervosa sufferers are male.

9 stone to 6 and a half. It was only then that Jack’s mum

The number of sufferers is rising at an extremely fast pace so

finally realised what was happening to her blue-eyed boy.

maybe it’s time to find out why.


onday afternoons at the gym are full of

“I was sitting in my room playing with the empty sweet

Working with food is a nightmare for any person with

wrappers I had found at school to convince my family I was

an eating disorder as it means battling a devil every time

eating. My mum came in and without saying a word I knew

food service begins. Jack Ward, a 20 year old Restaurant

she no longer believed my lies. I broke down and confessed

Supervisor; felt embarrassed and ashamed of his attitude

about the secrecy and pain.” With the support of his family

towards food every time he started a shift. “I’m happy to serve

he managed to open up to a counsellor.

the customers and I enjoy my job, but I dreaded the shifts

“She laughed at me. I had never felt so ashamed to be

where there are left over puddings or the chef has to offer me

who I was. She told me that I was obviously craving attention

the meal he’s just made to the staff because the presentation

and to simply just eat. But by this point I was struggling so

is awful. I tried to hide from my staff just so I didn’t have to

much with the disorder that I would spend multiple hours

eat a spoonful. This only made me loathe myself even more.”

a day looking in the mirror and tugging at pieces of skin, finding any bit of me I could to scrutinize. To ‘just eat’ was the only race that I couldn’t seem to win.” So the cycle of lies started again when jack told his parents that talking to the councillor had helped, but he continued to avoid any interaction with food that he could.



Starting to suffer from the disorder at 13 years old, Jack realised that he was going to have a harder time dealing with


Jack Ward’s girlfriend Lauren helped him to recover

“There were multiple times over the years that my mum asked me if I was still having problems as I sat there in my oversized jumpers with food stains down them that I had purposely put there. I would always tell her the same thing; if there was didn’t she think I would tell her. I’d put food off my plate into my pocket when no one was looking and I’d put the crumbs from the toaster on a plate to look like I’d eaten. I got to the point where I wasn’t able to lose any more weight however hard I tried and I succumbed to the reality that this was what was going to kill me. If I’m honest I couldn’t wait.” But in March 2010, Jack was at work in his home town of Essex and finally found a reason to make his life better. In the place he felt most vulnerable, he never expected to be able to talk to a girl, yet alone find the love of his life. “She walked in and all the lads couldn’t stop staring at her; she was stunning. I made sure I was the one to serve her and her friends their dinner and gave them as many freebies as I could get away with. After two hours of drooling over this girl flicking her hair and pouting her lips; she handed me their payment, and written on the bottom of the bill was her phone number.” After a few dates and a first kiss, Jack realised it would soon be time to tell Lauren about his hidden truth. Finally, plucking up the courage after two months of dating, he told her everything and her reaction was the best he could have received. She supported him and encouraged him to get help and to make his life better. Nine months on Lauren has helped Jack to start the recovery process, sat with him through every counselling session and been the rock he needed to find. With her support Jack managed to eat his first three course meal and is enjoying life more than he ever has. “I needed someone to drag me out of the hole that was only getting deeper, and who knew that a gorgeous girl would be that person.” Arnold Anderson, a leading academic expert in male anorexia, reveals that this is a very common story. According to research there are four main triggers for the disorder, the most common being to avoid be teased for being fat. So with tackling bullying in schools, the issue of anorexia in young boys could almost be eliminated. The others include to help improve a relationship and to improve athletic ability. At 29, unlike Jack, Brian Fox is still struggling to battle the disorder that doctors have warned could eventually end his life. At the difficult age of 14, Brian had his first crush at school. Following her round like a puppy he wanted more than anything for her to feel the same but instead she teased him. Calling him ‘fat’ and making it obvious she wasn’t interested was to turn Brian’s life upside down. He had never been much of a fan of eating breakfast but he decided just to cut out the idea all together. This developed quickly into cutting out lunch and only picking at his dinner. With this dangerous regime he began to rapidly lose weight, loosing multiple pounds every week. It was only when he turned eighteen that things hit rock bottom.

“It had been around ten days since I had eaten, and I was told that I could not join the Marine Corps and I was held back in high school due to poor performance. I drank three pints of Schnapps and took 100 valium pills. I then took it one step further and slit both of my wrists. After I was in the hospital, they told me that if I didn’t start eating I would die.” To most people it would seem like the solution would be to change your lifestyle and fight, but for Brian that wasn’t what

Brian Fox fears he will pass the disease onto his son.

he wanted and so he carried on the way he had for the previous 4 years. Today, an IT technician with a good salary, he is still a victim to the illness and

is how males are expected to be in a perfect world. With the

cannot find a reason to end his suffering. Having a young son and a

general attitude of the public being that eating disorders are a

loving girlfriend is not even enough to drag him from his despair.

‘girl’s problem’, this drives male suffers away from the clinics.

“My biggest fear is that I am going to pass this disease onto my young son. If I could tell him one thing before I finally succumb to this disease it would be just to love himself first. Once he can do that, he will be impervious to the wicked arrows shot at him by his peers. I was never that lucky.” “In a fast paced society, the first look is often the only look,” Anderson says, which puts pressure on people to be

This doesn’t need to be the case and as the attitudes in society change the disorder may become a wider known issue. Watching someone decrease in weight and increase

I sat there in oversized jumpers with food stains down them that I had purposefully put there.

attractive more than ever. With celebrities





situation that any one wants to find themselves in but if you can help someone to regain their life, do so. Arnold Anderson gives advice on how to cope if

dominating the media market with their stylish attire and air-brush

you think that someone you know has the mental illness.

perfect figures, the disorder is dominating more lives than ever before.

“It doesn’t work to be food police or get angry at the

This is bound to only have a negative result as people battle to be the

person who has an eating disorder. Know the signs and

skinniest or most desirable. ‘Manorexia’ rates have risen by around 70%

symptoms, and then tell them you’ll get off their back

in the past few years, and although it is hard to be sure of the exact

if they keep an appointment at a qualified clinic with

number of sufferers in the UK; it is certain that the illness is taking hold

experience in eating disorders.”

of more and more lives.

In the end, the only person who can help a male

Because of the attitudes in today’s society, many sufferers of this disorder

anorexia sufferer is himself, but the pain and suffering of

are embarrassed to seek help in case they are assumed to be homosexual or

Jack and Brian shows that the mental illness can manipulate

pathetic. Not all men are pure muscle and an automatic ladies magnet but this

and destroy lives with or without positive support.


A Day In The Life Of A Festival Worker We all look forward to the summer, there Is so much to look forward to, the barbeques, holidays and most of all the festivals.


She has met several performers over the years from Pixie Lott to Dizzee Rascal. Jamie recalls that meeting N-Dubz was a surreal situation. She says: ‘Frazer and Dappy were back stage; Tulisa introduced Fran and me. They wrapped their arms over us, thinking they were God’s gift to women. They’re very sweet guys though, despite their reputations.’ When asked which her favourite festival was, she said: ‘Glastonbury, without a doubt. The festival is in a league of its own. It’s nearly the same size as my hometown; it’s like living in a different world. It’s immense. There are like different worlds within the festival, like a fairyland, a Chinese themed town and the stone circle, which is where most of the drinking occurs. ‘In a nutshell, it’s a 4 day, 24 hour festival for everyone, from new born babies to pensioners, there is something for everybody.’ Everyone tends to go ‘festival shopping’ over summer for funky wellies, straw hats and denim shorts but what do the workers have to wear? Jamie explains: ‘Most of the time we dress funky and as quirky as possible but for events such as VIP parties, we dress in more formal attire. I worked at Simon Cowell’s birthday party and we were told to just dress in black.’ So not only do the workers get to meet performers back stage, they can join in the after parties and even watch the performers throughout the day. Jamie has watched countless acts at all the festivals and even managed to snag a spot on stage with Plan B. She admits: ‘I nearly fainted when Plan B put his arm around me.’ So maybe this summer, we need to be applying for jobs at the festivals, it seems the workers get the best perks and they’re £50 up at the end of it all.


You can always find one that matches your taste, whether it’s V Fest, Glastonbury or Love Box. But behind the wellies, beer tents and phenomenal performances, there are the workers. We talk to JamieLee Tokley, 21, from Hertfordshire, a devoted festival worker to find out if the work is all glitz and glamour or just porta-loos and diva tantrums. She has worked at The Isle Of Wight Festival, Reading, Glasto and V Fest to name a few and says she ‘has loved every minute of it.’ The money isn’t great but the experience is worth so much more than any wage packet. She earns around £50 a festival. She says: ‘It depends on how long you’ve worked at festivals but when you take into consideration all your free food, drink and meeting all the performers and generally having the time of your life, it is so worth it.’ She landed the job through catering company, Moving Feasts, starting as a pot wash. She went on to work higher up in the catering department and now acts as the organiser of her catering division. She has also found incredible friendships along the way. She says: ‘The catering company is like one big happy family.’ Each year at V Festival she spends most of her time with T4 presenter’s Jameela and Rick Edwards. Jamie and fellow work mate, Francesca Hale, 21, even got the chance to present part of the show, which was broadcast on channel 4.


fezzy map REWIND SCOTLAND 29th-31st July Scone Palace, Perth

T IN THE PARK 7th-10th July Kinross-shire

CREAMFIELDS 27th-28th August Halton

STOCKTON WEEKENDER 5th-7th August Stockton-on-Tees LEEDS FESTIVAL 26th-28th August Leeds

OXEGEN 7th-10th July Punchestown, Co. Kildare READING FESTIVAL 26th-28th August Reading

V Festival 19th-21st August Weston Park, Shifnal

BESTIVAL 8th-11th September Newport

T4 on the Beach 10th July Weston-Super-Mare

V Festival 19th-21st August Hylands Park, Chelmsford

GLASTONBURY 22nd-26th June Glastonbury

HARD ROCK CALLING 24th-26th June Hyde Park, London

ISLE OF WIGHT FESTIVAL 9th-12th June Isle of Wight

katyperry Her California Dreams tour is less a pop concert, more a megawatt jukebox extravaganza. Picture Alice in Wonderland after an explosion in Charlie’s Chocolate Factory, with more costume changes than Mr Benn, and you get a sense of the stage theatrics on offer from our cover star Katy Perry.

Due to bring her visually kitch, laChapelle-esque, delight to the south coast later this month, we caught up with the 26-year-old to talk glitz, glamour and Gypsy weddings. H: Has life always been so glamorous and cool? KP: “I had two cars repossessed, and I was writing bad cheques, but I gave myself a timeline. I thought, Okay, if I don’t make it by 25, I’m just going to get married and pop out some babies and do some crafts.” H: In the eyes of teenage girls (and boys!) you’re the ultimate pop diva yet reports show you to be a regular girl. How do you see yourself? KP: “It’s important to be relatable and normal. And I think what helps with that, for me, is that I had the rug pulled out from underneath my feet so many times. It was like, ‘Listen up, bitch, you’re not going to get served this on a silver platter—you’ve got to work for it!’ I don’t feel like I can act like an entitled bitch yet! I still have so much to prove.” H: Your look changes like the wind, particularly on stage during your latest tour, but how would you describe the Katy Perry look today? KP: “Bettie Page meets Wonder Woman meets Doris Day meets Judy Jetson meets Natalie Wood meets Daphne Guinness meets Chloë Sevigny kind of look.”


H: So when you’re not entertaining thousands of crazed teenage dreamers, what entertains you. KP: I love British TV. I love The Only Way is Essex. I don’t understand what they’re saying but it is genius. I think they’re speaking English….awight. My Big fat Gypsy Wedding……I love that. I’m going to get one of those f***ing dresses made and wear it on stage – watch out! Then there’s this other show – Morgana. That’s genius too. I don’t watch CNN anymore……….I’m obsessed with you guys.”


“I love The Only Way is Essex. I don’t understand what they’re saying but it is genius.”

H: Fans can’t wait to see you on stage in Bournemouth but now you’ve gotten hitched will this be the last tour in favour of babies and domesticated bliss? KP: “I think some people will die on the stage, and I’m not so sure I want to do that. Like, I want to have kids! I’m totally fine with saying that. I think some people are scared because they’re worried it’s going to ruin their career, but I want to live a full life.”



It’s a new era

A new era has come upon Sherlock and Watson, but what will this new incarnation entail?


he literary world was sent into frenzy last month when the Conan-Doyle estate, along with Orion publishing, announced that a new Sherlock Holmes novel was to be released. The honour has been bestowed upon esteemed screenwriter

and crime-thriller author Anthony Horowitz. He has been writing stories and TV series’ in this field for many years. He’s picked up several awards for his self-penned TV series Foyle’s War. He’s also written a weighty tome in the form of the Alex Ryder series. Soon set to release the ninth and final book in the series, it’s a sort of James Bond for kids. This series reboot isn’t shocking, given the incredibly successful year that 2010 was for the world famous sleuth. He scored half a billion dollars at the box office with Guy Ritchie and Robert Downey Jr’s take on the classic. The BBC had one of their biggest hits of the year with the Holmes mini-series. It seems only natural for Orion to strike while the iron is hot.



If people want to read a Holmes story, why not read an original?


Sir Arthur Conan Doyle For purists of the original stories this will hardly seem at all news

queasy mixture of happiness that such a talented writer is going to

worthy. Since Conan-Doyle’s death in 1915, a long line of authors have

have a crack at it, and professional jealousy that he got the gig and

taken a stab at making their mark on the great detective’s mythology,

I didn’t. I’m positive he’ll be able to do the series justice -- he can

with varying degrees of success. This is however, the first time the

handle characterisation, action and description with equal deftness

Conan-Doyle estate has openly sanctioned an official new novel.

(the swine) and I’m sure that’s why the Estate chose him.”

In previous efforts, different authors have put an entirely new

Holmes isn’t the only iconic crime-fighter to be receiving a 21st

spin on Holmes’ character, changing the genre, period settings and so

century rebirth. A new James Bond novel has also been commissioned

forth. But Horowitz has done his best to allay fears of transforming

by the Ian Fleming-Estate. In the era that brought Jason Bourne

the character of Holmes. He said; “My Holmes is going to be exactly the Holmes of the novels without any new information on my part, I don’t want to take any liberties with this great iconic figure.” The main difference to the original stories will be the crime itself. He said; “What I think is different in my book is the nature of the crime, the world in which

Horowitz has proven himself time and again as a great writer of detective stories

to the forefront of secret agent heroism, Bond needed to be resurrected so as not to look like an ageing PC Plod type. So now the story has been brought to a contemporary setting with modern gadgetry and political motivations. Thus crafting an approach that will horrify the fans as much as it will excite.

he gets involved. “I do have a certain reservation about reinventions

There hasn’t exactly been a critical backlash against the project,

of old famous books which sometimes have a smack of desperation

however, there hasn’t been an eruption of excitement either. The

about them. “Some work better than others and Holmes struck me as

Observer’s book editor William Skidelsky has already voiced his

being right for this sort of reinvention.”

hesitance of the idea of a new novel being published. He said “It

Horowitz, according to experts & fans has the intelligence and

de-values the original work because it sends out the signal that any

integrity to keep the original spirit unchanged, a fact which could

current, talented author can write the same works that the dead

soften the inevitable cries of purist hatred when the book is published.

author wrote. When in fact literature is such an individual, personal

They Conan-Doyle estate did also commission a series of novels

thing, and unique thing that it’s really not like that.”

about Holmes’ early years. These were written by friend and colleague

Writer Ian Dickerson says; “Horowitz has proven himself time

of Horowitz, Andy Lane. He seems confident that Horowitz will be

and again as a great writer of detective stories and you’ve only got to

able to deliver the goods with this new series. He said “My feelings

look at his creation of Foyle’s War to know that he can write in period

on Anthony Horowitz writing a new Sherlock Holmes novel are a

very well. I’m sure he will do Holmes and Watson justice.”

Left:The Original writer, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Right: New writer of the

A Anthony H orowitz

Shgerlock Holmes

He went on to say, “I am biased when it comes to continuing an

stuff, but I will still read it anyway. good thing, a fresh look at Sherlock

author’s work. It very much depends on the author who’s doing the

Holmes would probably be better than Horowitz trying to do exactly the

writing; if they can match the style of writing and story-telling then

same as Doyle and it ending up like a failed ghost writing experiment.

there’s no reason why it won’t enhance the legacy. But you have to pick

He could even be really brave and set it in the modern era, like the BBC

your writers carefully. One only has to look at the wildly varying quality

series. Whatever he does it probably won’t be as good as Doyle’s stuff,

of James Bond continuations to see that. Generally a good story and

but I will still read it anyway.

a good story-teller will always be popular. Match that with some great

Is that to your standards? Emotion isn’t my strong point good thing,

characters--like Holmes and Watson--and you’re in for a treat.” The fan

a fresh look at Sherlock Holmes would probably be better than Horowitz

consensus on this potentially new series is, as always highly divided.

trying to do exactly the same as Doyle and it ending up like a failed

If you were to look upon any blog, social network thread or message

ghost writing experiment. He could even be really brave and set it in

board you would be bombarded with arguments for and against this

the modern era, like the BBC series. Whatever he does it probably won’t

contemporary update of such an iconic character. Some see it as a

be as good as Doyle’s stuff, but I will still read it anyway. Is that to your

fantastic opportunity for newbie’s to get excited about the subject again.

standards? Emotion isn’t my stro” Uber fan Pete Johnson of Alabama

Others see it as sacrilege. Their argument is; If people want to read a

USA thinks, “Talented writer but you can’t recreate Holmes!”

Holmes story, why not just read one of the originals?

While it may not be as eloquent as the arguments for, perhaps that

Avid fan Jamie Donnelly thinks; “Horowitz can do darkness and horror

is all that needs to be said. There is very little argument that the Holmes

which is a good start for a Sherlock Holmes novel, but I don’t know if he

novels are anything short of a masterpiece. Continuing without Doyle

will be able to carry off the same attention to detail that Doyle wove into his

is a risky proposition. But you know the old saying, ‘nothing ventured,

stories. But then that might be a good thing, a fresh look at Sherlock Holmes

nothing gained.’ The gravy train of artistic reinvention is showing no signs

would probably be better than Horowitz trying to exactly the same as Doyle

of stopping or slowing down. So will we sit and curse on our blogs and

and it ending up like a failed ghost writing experiment.

internet comment sections? Or will we take the wins as and when they

“He could even be really brave and set it in the modern era, like the

come? We just have to wait until September to find out which this will be.

BBC series. Whatever he does it probably won’t be as good as Doyle’s




urly haired teenagers wearing

in the Hollywood Hit The Social Network.

tasteless jumpers and oversized

Facebook brings us to the most important

flares used to cram around

functions of the computer, the Internet. The

gargantuan television screens

internet has blown up into the stratosphere

to gawk in amazement of the gaming spectacle

and created a new world for people to explore.

known as Pong. Essentially, Pong consisted of

It has also given any chance the opportunity

two crudely replicated lines moving up and

to make their internet fortune and has become

down a screen to hit a ball back and forth.

an essential tool for any successful business.

This was 20 years ago. Entertainment and

Progression has seen computers and the

technology have come on a long way. Gone are

internet become our main tool and weapon,

the days of balancing an aerial on your TV to

much like the caveman’s spear.

get a decent picture, we now live in the super of age of 3D and Blu-Ray pomposity.

The main aim in the computer industry is to predict the next big step forward in

Behind every technical marvel is a more

its development and to create the next big

serious picture. One of business and big bucks.

online craze or application. Currently, the

Fat cats piling their fortunes into creating the

next big advancement is thought to be Cloud

latest noise making, touch feeling and pound

Computing. But what is Cloud Computing?

making gadgets. The dominant tour de force

You may actually already be nestling on the

in today’s world is computers. Computers

cloud without even knowing it.

have changed mankind indefinitely and have

Cloud Computing has revolutionised

altered the way we go about our daily lives.

the way computers are used, particularly in

Fortunes are made over night and legends

the business sector. In an IT nutshell cloud

are created i.e. Mark Zuckerberg, the creator

computing has seen the removal of computer

of Facebook, whose story was just depicted

hardware and a stronger focus on computer

software. This means a company no longer needs to have an on-site collection of power house computers running their IT needs. Instead they use online applications and an outside data centre holds the massive computer hardware for them. Grant Tanner works for Star Internet who are one of the companies hosting large data centres for a host of businesses and he explains what cloud computing can do for the business world. Grant says: “Star provides on-demand IT and communication services for UK They promise improvement on service levels,

Many a person have spent countless lost Sundays compiling a

business agility, financial predictability and a

collection of music spanning from Marvin Gaye to the Bee Gee’s

reduction in your costs”.

only to have lost it to that all too familiar, computer breakdown.

Star Internet has seen themselves steadily grow

This results in the air turning a dark blue followed by a cracked

in the industry since their 1995 inception.

pc screen. With cloud computing the files you have don’t exist

They are currently taking care of 3,500 UK

on your hard drive and are actually the responsibility of the site

businesses and 500,000 end users. Star internet

you bought them from i.e. I Tunes or Spotify. This eases the

has a technology roadmap which provides on-

stress of possibly loosing your favourite B*Witched albums.

demand cloud computing for any UK business

Large companies can also benefit greatly from cloud

which needs immediate access to the very latest

computing particularly ones that have offices spread round the

enterprise-grade technologies.

world. They can hit difficulty because their different offices use

Whilst the IT industry is fully aware of the

different programs. For example, to access something simple

scope and capability of cloud computing some

like email a company may have 40 different applications to do

people may still not wholly understand it or

this, spread throughout its various offices. Cloud Computing

perhaps even heard of it. There are however

puts an end to such complications and this is known as

examples of cloud computing right before your

Centralisation. As well as time and effort, centralisation

very eyes, iTunes, flickr, Hotmail and Facebook

also saves money. Reduced electricity costs of running huge

are all examples of cloud computing in full

computer servers and also the space saved can reduce the office

effect. Some of the major cloud providers are

space a business needs to acquire.

companies like Fujitsu and IBM also involved.

Saving time and effort, the Cloud surely seems like an irresistible way to fulfil your IT needs. But Cloud Computing

So applications that use cloud computing

has also had many critics and as with any IT adventure it is

are not solely for the IT experts. The cloud can

not all plain sailing. One of the main issues arising is that of

facilitate basic requirements like file sharing

privacy. The problem stems from the power of control which

and e-mail access. One of the most appealing

the company controlling the cloud system has. This is met with

aspects of the cloud is the lack of a hard drive.

scepticism as a high level of trust is needed. Furthermore is the issue of security which has no doubt held up the progress of cloud computing. The private and public sector have both been nervy of the external management of security based services. Great time and man hours have been poured into “cloud security”. Cloud security’s sole aim is to protect data, applications and the associated infrastructure of cloud computing.


Microsoft, Google and Amazon with other


businesses by utilising Cloud Computing.


Star Internet is one of the companies who are taking data issues extremely serious and Grant assures the business world, “The security of our customer’s data is central to everything we do”. If the issues of security and privacy are laid to rest then it is also important to take warning from other fallen projects and inventions of the technology industry. Over played marketing can often see investors putting money into schemes which are running before they can even muster a slow walk. One of the best examples of hype and marketing within the IT sector was seen with the 2000 dot com bubble. Huge investments were made into dot com businesses by companies and massive market promises of future business profits encouraged stock prices to grow. This bubble eventually burst in early 2000 due to the lack of actual profit being made and we saw the collapse of many of these dot com businesses. During this bubble the NASDAQ-Composite lost 80% of its value. This is a stark warning to the cloud computing industry towards the danger of investing into an ultimately unprofitable venture. Having taken into account all the negative elements of the cloud the sheer possibilities drag back at the indecision strings. Macnamara is a small but well established London IT firm and are another company involved in the cloud computing industry, they have a balanced view on cloud computing. Jack Jones, an employee of Macnamara voices his views. “Like most things, it has its pros and it has its cons. Depending on what you need it for and whether the pros outweigh the cons in your opinion or vice versa, could mean that it’s a brilliant thing. Some companies will like the idea of having off site server hosting and not having the environmental strain, space, man power as it’s less for them to worry about”. The cynics will voice their opinions and the dot com bubble crash provides warning signs but it seems with cloud computing that the positives do actually outweigh the negatives. The amount of commitment from within the IT sector can only fair well for the future of cloud technology but every footstep forward is taken with in-trepidation as previous failings in other IT adventures offer glaring warnings to future plans.

We fought to keep my Nan out of care University student Charlotte Olver tells the amazing story of how her family fought to keep her Nan out of a care home.

Doris travelled to Teignmouth hospital,

broke her hip, but we didn’t know that at first

seaside town of Teignmouth

where her doctor gave her the all-clear. She

because she wasn’t properly checked over”

in Devon. She had lived on her

was told he wanted to keep her in overnight, to

explains Charlotte. “It wasn’t an obvious break,

own for seven years after her

monitor her fluid levels, so she was put on an

and it wasn’t until she had an x-ray two days

IV drip and settled for the night.

later, in agony, that we the seriousness of her

husband died of cancer in 2002. Even at the tender age of 77 she was more than capable,

“I visited her during the day and she was

and continued to live alone un-aided, until she

her usual chirpy self ” Charlotte says. “I think

suffered a stroke in 2008.

we exhasted her. I suppose we were trying to

“It was scary when she had a stroke, as you can imagine,” explains 20-yearold Charlotte, “I was worried my Nan would want it to be her time. But she recovered well and we were delighted with the news that she could go back home.”

make a fuss over her because we wanted her to

fall was realised.” Doris was then rushed into surgery to have a hip replacement. “Nan didn’t know what was going on,”

Doris required regular visits from a carer to help her with menial tasks such as loading the washing machine

Doris required regular visits from a carer to help her with menial tasks such

Charlotte continues, “when I spoke to her after the operation, she had no idea it had been for.” Doris recovered well but was in hospital for a further three months. Yet when she was ready to go home, Doris was told she wasn’t allowed for

know that she has a family who love her

her own safety.

as loading the washing machine and cooking,

“When I left she had a big, appreciative

“They told us she’d have to live in a care

but things pretty much went back to the way

smile on her face but was in much need of a

home now, but we knew Nan could cope just

they were before. Until one day, when Doris

rest. To be honest, I think she was still a little

fine” Charlotte explains. “If anything, she was

tripped over a corner of her rug.

shaken from the fall, although she’d never

even more mobile after her hip replacement!

show it, she’s such a proud woman.”

Nan was really scared at the idea of being in a

“Her carer, Jane, arrived as normal at ten o’clock to find Nan nursing a bruised leg,”

But that night, Doris awoke with a sudden

home, so we took our case to the courts system.”

Charlotte continues, “Jane said she would have

and desperate urge to use the toilet. After

The Olver family won their case and Doris

to go to hospital for a routine check up due to

pressing her buzzer numerous times, it seems

is currently living with her daughter, 59-year-

health and safety laws. We all agreed that would

a nurse didn’t come to her assistance and so

old Marilyn in Newton Abbott, and is set

be for the best, I think I was still a little worried

Doris attempted to get out of bed herself.

to return to her own home in the next few

for my Nan after her stroke two years before.”

“She tripped and fell over her IV drip and




oris Jones lived in the quiet


Charlotte Olver


“We’re all really happy that Nan was able to

so I was pretty much on my own. At first it was

“You have to take a step back from the

stay at home, we are always here to look after

nice to have the company, but soon it got too

situation,” Mary reasons, “because his bad

her” Charlotte tells. “She is so much happier

much to handle.”

judgment and lack of reasoning is down to the

there, and is well and truly back to her usual chirpy self.” Dr Holly Boulton from the Department of Clinical Health Psychology in St. Mary’s

Mary explains how she couldn’t sleep at

dementia, not him. But that day scared the life

night, and how she became frightened that

out of me, I felt like I’d failed him and wasn’t fit

her father would injure himself when he was

to look after him.”

supposed to be under her supervision.

Hospital, London, says: “The emotional strain

“He would refuse to take his medication,

of caring for a parent is tremendous, the

so everyday was a battle to get him to take his

carer can feel very isolated. It can strain their

pills” Mary explains. “It is really frustrating

marriage and relationships with friends or other family members. Seeking counsel from a support group is advised, as they offer knowledge and stress relief, as well as a social meet which will

Mary sought advice from a local dementia caregiver’s support group, which proved very helpful. “Suddenly I didn’t feel so alone. I was talking to other people in similar

Doris required regular visits from a carer to help her with menial tasks such as loading the washing machine

situations to me, and was getting tips and advice on how to cope. Just being there and talking about these things was a huge stress reliever, and things started to look up for a while.”

help ease feelings of isolation.

Mary was advised that engaging

There are hundreds of support groups

caring for someone with dementia, and takes

in activities with her father would help his

available for carers in the UK, most of which

a lot of patience. Only when you have an

condition, and would decrease her stress

have websites with advice and discussions, so

experience like mine do you realise just how

levels. She began taking him to the park in his

even if going to a meeting seems too daunting,

incredible nursing staff are.”

wheelchair and to coffee mornings arranged by

there is support for them.

Arthur continued living with his daughter

the support group. At these meetings, it gave

“Adult children are confronted with

for four months, during which time she became

the dementia sufferers a chance to meet each

emotions from the past, which are compounded

exhausted. Mary began to lose concentration

other and interact, and there would always be

by issues in the present” she continues. “It is

at work, and was prescribed anti-depressants

some kind of activity to keep spirits high.

important that the child take care of their own

by her GP.

physical well-being, as often, this is sacrificed

But in June this year, Arthur’s condition

“Some days were harder than others” she

worsened, and Mary took counsel in the

continues. “When my dad was still of fairly

support group, who told her that putting her

This is certainly the case for 53-year-old

sound mind, I had to sit him down and talk

father into a care home might be the best

Mary Chamberlain from St. Albans, who cared

to him about his deteriorating hand-eye co-


for her father with dementia and explains how

ordination. It wasn’t safe for him to drive

“At first I felt sick at the idea” Mary confides.

she got to the point where she just couldn’t

anymore – I was scared he would hurt himself

“I couldn’t put him into a care home, I felt like

cope. Doris is lucky that her daughter can

or someone else for that matter.

that would be betraying him. He looked after

to ensure the parent’s needs are met.”

spare her time and has the patience to look

“He agreed that he shouldn’t get behind

after her, as this just wasn’t possible for Mary

the wheel of a car again, but I took his keys as a

and her 87-year-old father Arthur Johnson.

precaution. I couldn’t be sure if he’d remember

However, Arthur’s condition had spiraled

“At first I thought I could handle it,” Mary

our conversation a few days down the line. I

out of control and in July last year he moved

begins, “even when my father’s condition

was right to do so because he managed to find

into Verulam House Nursing and Residential

deteriorated and a nurse told me he’d need

a spare set of car keys from somewhere and


round-the-clock care. He moved in with me in

drove to the grocery store the next day. He

February last year, and a nurse would come to

nearly crashed.”

me when I was little, I couldn’t abandon him when it was my turn.”

“I visit my dad twice a week,” Mary tells, “and although I still feel guilty for him being

our house and look after him during the day –

Although it would seem as though Arthur’s

there, I know it’s the best place for him to be.

she was a blessing – and then I would care for

actions deliberately went against Mary’s

The nursing staff are really friendly, and it’s a

him when I got home from work.

request, it was the dementia that caused such

beautiful house, I know my father will live the

bad judgment.

rest of his days as a happy man.”

“My husband passed away a few years ago,


he idea of the perfect summer holiday, would for some

be strolling on hot sandy beaches admiring the sea. Not for Rachel, 21, her idea of a perfect getaway is climbing Mount kilimanjaro and doing volunteer work in Tanzania. To climb Mount Kilimanjaro you have to have months

of training, and a good mind set, to prepare you for the high

climbed Mount Kilimanjaro for the Childreach International charity. It was with this charity in mind, which gave her the determination to climb the mountain within four days. In order for Rachel to reach the top, it was essential to acclimatise to the surroundings, which meant walking up a certain height and then back down again to adjust to the altitude. The first few days took a while to adjust, and Rachel found herself suffering from severe altitude sickness, “Our heart rate would get checked every night, which made everyone extremely nervous. If it was too high, it was likely you wouldn’t make it through the night”. The nights were the hardest, as temperatures would reach –20c, “I would be wearing eight layers going to bed, with two sleeping bags, two hat and two gloves”. However, even that

The volunteer Effort Everyone wants the perfect job or career, but sometimes it’s the unexpected jobs that touch your heart

didn’t stop her from feeling as though her toes were about to

determination had paid off. The only problem was getting

drop off, she just prayed she wouldn’t need the toilet during

back down the mountain”.

the night. The final day was Rachel’s idea of hell. They began

Once Rachel got down from the mountain, there was no

the walk at 12pm, and she was sick the entire way. Although,

rest for the wicked as she was about to encounter life as a

when she reached the top of the mountain the relief and

volunteer. When Rachel arrived in Tanzania, she was taken to

anguish finally kicked in, with floods of tears, “The feeling

an underprivileged school, whereby she would teach and play

once I reached the top was incredible, all my hard work and

with the children. She was also introduced to hard labour, as


in mind can often strive people to reach the top. Rachel Boyle,


altitude and desolate surroundings. This is why having a purpose


One day, she visited a hospital to see how the patients were treated, which is an experience she never wants to see again she had to paint and build schools. In order to create

at her, one man even said, “I would marry you to get

the cement, Rachel would have to go on long trecks to

into England”. Implying, that would be the necessary

fetch water from the fountain, which was a mile away.

route to take to escape Tanzania.

Although she was enjoying her time as a volunteer,

One day, she visited a hospital to see how the

she could not help but notice the terrible teaching,

patients were treated, which is an experience she

“the teachers didn’t seem as though they cared, one

never wants to see again, “The hospitals were very

teacher had his phone out listening to Akon, whilst

over crowded, so much so that one woman had to

I teached the class”. Rachel would teach the children

give birth on the floor”. The conditions seemed

basic Maths and English skills, as well as games such

acceptable, but it was easy to understand how people

as, “heads, shoulders, knees and toes”.

caught infections and illnesses.

However, the children seemed to associate her as

The overall experience taught Rachel that

having a lot of money, one boy even said, “white girl,

determination and perseverance can get you places

money please”, which was disheartening given the

in life, given the fact she raised £2,300 for the

hard work she was contributing. It seemed as though

Childreach International charity. Her next step will

the teachers had taught the children that English

be to travel to India, and work with underprivileged

people were rich. They would often flirt and wink

children in the slums.

map of exotic and unusual places to volunteer Volunteers for Peace in Northern Ireland: Environmental, Peace and Children’s Projects

Organizing Leisure Activities for Handicapped People in France

Turtle Conservation Program in Greece

Help in the organization and running of the Festambiente festival North-East of Italy


Live With a Family in Istanbul and Teach Them English

Care Work with Children in China

Nursing and Midwifery in Bolivia

Equine Therapy in Argentina with Projects Abroad

Sri Lanka Wildlife Conversation Society Teach IT in South Africa Orphanage Volunteer Programs in India: New Delhi, Kolkata, Bangalore

Sri Lanka Wildlife Conservation Society Equine Therapy in Argentina with Projects Abroad Nursing and Midwifery in Bolivia with Projects Abroad Coaching Sports in Brazil Physical Therapy in Cambodia Care Work with Children in China HIV/AIDS Work in Nepal

HIV/AIDS Work in Nepal

Physical Therapy in Cambodia

Teach IT in South Africa Live With a Family in Istanbul and Teach Them English Orphanage Volunteer Programs in India Turtle Conservation Program in Greece Volunteers for Peace in Northern Ireland Help organise and run of the Festambiente Festival North-East of Italy Organizing Leisure Activities for Handicapped People in France


Coaching Sports in Brazil


sporting view W

hen you meet someone like Reuben

Heathrow, and they wouldn’t even give me a boarding card because I didn’t have a visa.

Agboola, you do not only meet a

“I was with a friend from the Nigerian FA - he was about 7ft, and dripping in

former professional footballer - you meet a man.

But who, really, is this man? Many people may have

seen him playing football on a Saturday afternoon in the late 80’s and early 90’s, but what is he truly like?

Armani! “He basically asked for the names of the staff at the check-in, because he wouldn’t take the rap if one of the president’s Super Eagles players wasn’t allowed into the country. We managed to get our boarding cards in the end!” However, this wasn’t quite the end of the fun and games for the soon-to-be

I sit alone in a quiet corner of the pub, pondering

International footballer. Having made it out of England, Agboola was met with another

these very questions,- as a guy at the opposite end of the

obstacle in Nigeria. “At the Nigerian airport they were all looking through my English

room asks his wife if she wants one more for the road.

passport to try and find my visa!”

Other than that I am kept company solely by my own

The rest, as they say, is history, and Agboola made it to the squad in good time -

thoughts. My nerves are on edge, as I keep replaying a

almost. “I didn’t realise until later the rest of the guys had been waiting for my arrival so

question that was asked of me earlier in the afternoon -

we could go and play a practice match.”

“what on earth are you going to say?”

That “practice” match was against the local Lagos team at the national stadium,

I know that, in this tranquil room, and in just a few

just two days before a competitive first team international. “We were told we wouldn’t

moments time, one of my own defensive idols as a child

be needing shin pads. I got a massive gash down the front of my leg when one of their

is about to walk through the door, and still that question

players came in with a tackle from the top.

haunts my thoughts - what on earth are you going to say? Then it happens - the man himself walks in, strides straight over to my table and with a big smile and friendly eyes shakes my hand, and humbly introduces himself. As if Reuben Agboola really needs to introduce himself! He played over 250 first-class games in his career,

“Their captain got sent off, and we lost 1-0. I remember thinking, wow, I can’t wait for Saturday! “As it turns out though, the locals were better than the team we ended up playing that weekend - we won that one 5-0!” Agboola, who did some coaching throughout his later career, retired from professional football following a brief spell with Swansea in 1992, though he did later turn out for Woking.

is a cult hero at both Southampton and Sunderland, and

He became landlord of the “Sporting View” bar at the Southampton Sports Center,

while at the former helped his side to the runners-up

before relocating to Majorca, running a bar for a year. He later returned to the south

spot in the 1983-84 Division 1 - Saints’ highest ever final

coast, where he currently works for a car company in Southampton.

league position. He also featured nine times for Nigeria, including seven appearances in the 1992 African Cup of Nations, where his country finished 3rd. But his native country almost remained Agboolaless permanently following some trouble getting into the country before his first cap. “I didn’t even have a Visa, because things were rushed so much,” recalls the 47-year-old. “We were at the check-in queue at

“I evaluate whatever turns up, and get to rip it to bits. The log books are the worst part - we can’t sell the cars without them! “Everything is computerized these days, which is meant to be idiot-proof, but it is really not - my boss manages to get it wrong all the time. “It’s OK though, because it means I can get away with blaming him for just about anything!” When he is not at work, Reuben is a keen golfer - as evidenced by the clubs present behind his desk in his office. “I never go too far without my clubs, just in case I need to make a quick getaway!” he laughs.






It’s a cold Sunday morning, the wind ripples the shirts of 22 fired up footballers, the referee’s whistle blows. What happens when the ‘the beautiful game,’ becomes a survival ground??


unday league football is very

didn’t even get a booking. My manager

rarely publicised and when it

told me the same guy had injured my

is, the stories are brief. When

teammates cruciate ligament.”

a tackle becomes assault,

should we take a closer look?

“I was swearing at him over and over, I was shouting at him that I was

Charlie Knight, 21, was a victim

going to kill him, I even got my boot

of the leagues brutal nature when after

and threw it at him.”Charlie had been

just 20 minutes he saw his professional

spotted by Conference Premier League

ambitions crushed. He described the

side Salisbury and had been called up

moment: “I toe poked the ball to my

to the squad. He said: “I was told before

teammate and this lad stamped on my

the game that the first team manager

standing right ankle, breaking the bone,

of Salisbury wanted me to play for

he pushed off on it causing the lower

them and I was only 16, which would

and middle part of my leg to break

of made me the youngest in Salisbury’s

under the pressure, I went straight into

history to play for them, that was hard

shock.” With ringing in his ears and

to take.” As he was rushed to hospital

blurred vision Charlie’s new football boot had to be cut off along with his socks. His teammates confronted the opposing player who was known as ‘The Destroyer.’ Charlie continued: “I was obviously crying and gutted, I knew I was out for a long time. He

Beau t i f u l G a m e


to strengthen the ligament, then pins were

it impossible for them to carry on

inserted to keep it stable.” Currently managing

in the league.”

Reasons behind

his team, Mike is 9 months away from playing

the lack of players aren’t clear but

football again. Getting through the hardest

injuries are considered to be one of

physical part of his recovery, it’s becoming more

them. After providing 100 players

psychological. He said: “Mentally, I will take a

with a questionnaire,

few more years to fully recover. When I go in for

it was found that 34

a tackle I will be scared of what might happen,

of them had been

it will completely change the way I play. I’ve

injured by a bad

obviously been in a lot of physical pain but

challenge. Adding to

it’s mental as well. I get so frustrated having to

this, the average time

watch and hear about people playing, but there’s

spent recovering was

nothing I can do.”

3 to 4 months, half of

Whilst the views of players vary, referees at

the Sunday League

this level seem to maintain a similar opinion.

football season. Mike

Referee John Thompson said: “Look, were

Sadler, 21, has been

not playing at a professional level, I don’t

and taken for an X-Ray, Charlie wasn’t the

recovering for over a year. He said: “I won’t

make decisions that will ruin the game; it gets

only one who was devastated. He said: My dad

be back playing until August, by then it would

us refs a lot of abuse. You get more abuse for

couldn’t deal with it and left, that made it even

have been just over 2 years since the injury.”

sending someone off, so it’s best to just let it

harder to deal with.”Two operations and five

Mike had his cruciate knee ligament ruptured

go.” However studies in France revealed that

screws later Charlie’s dad told him how it was all

and bent from a tackle in a pre-season friendly.

players cause 90 percent of physical and verbal

paid for. His older brother was preparing to go

He said: “The guy came in at knee height, my

abuse. A ruling was also passed in 2006 that

to University but his parents had to use money

leg was on the ball, I felt my leg bend and my

made attacking a referee the equivalent to

they had saved up to pay for Charlie’s

attacking a police officer. The same rules

operations. He said: “Technically it was

have not been made in the UK. There

was paying my parents, that wasn’t nice to hear!” To this day, Charlie wonders what could have been and struggles with a lot of injuries because of what happened.

The referee didn’t take any action, not even a free kick was awarded,.

His drive for football has been damaged along with his motivation and confidence.

is violence in amateur football all over the world. Due to the professional game overshadowing grass roots football, solutions made at the highest level don’t take effect in all standards of the game. In the Premiership, there have been many cases of players being sent off for

knee just popped, I thought it was broken.”

a late, high-footed tackle. This is considered

He commented: “When I see Wade Elliot of

“The referee didn’t take any action, not

standard in Sunday League football. This raises

Burnley for example, being a success from

even a free kick was awarded, and he adjudged

the question of why the same rules do not apply

non league, I always wonder if that could have

it to be 50/50.” Ligament damage can take

at every level. There have already been 48 red

been me.” With a rapid decline in many areas

four times longer than bone to recover. Sports

cards and 748 yellow cards (an average of 26

of Sunday League football, there are very few

injury specialist Dr. James Calder commented:

yellow cards per team) in the first half of the

solutions being created. The ‘Respect the Ref,’

“With bone, its solid and is set when it heals,

Premiership season. In amateur football the

campaign was launched in 2008 when statistics

ligaments have to be reformed and take a lot

figures are very different. Each team averages

revealed, that on average, 7,000 referee’s quit

more time to regain their strength.”

11 yellow cards and 1 red in the Sunday District

football every year. Debate is still being raised

“Another part of ligament damage is the long

about whether or not it is working. Not only

term affect, often they never fully heal. Normally

These statistics raise the question of

referees are quitting the game. In the last four

patients are given a percentage and it’s rarely 100

discipline in the league and show part of the

years 2,728 Sunday teams have dropped out of

percent.” Mike underwent surgery to reconstruct

reason why the game is so aggressive at this

the league. Darren Parker of the Hampshire

and stabalise his Anterior Cruciate Ligament.

standard. The hard-hitting challenges affect

FA commented: “Often teams can’t get a team

He said: “They took muscle from my thigh

players in different ways. Whether it’s a long

League in a season.


his money as it was the rent money he


together every week, this makes


lay off, or a bruise the next day. It becomes hard

a lot of injuries but it was by far the worse. At my

for players to turn up and play every week. The

age it makes it even harder to recover.”

majority recover and go back to playing football.

“I want to be involved in football but it’s hard

It isn’t the same though for all players with age

watching from the sidelines, you can’t get involved

“Within a few minutes I had my legs swept

playing a huge part. With experience in the game

and change the game.” With many older players

from underneath me but play went on. I didn’t

it is still hard for players to adapt the changes

in the league, their experience can help them deal

enjoy one minute of it, it was horrible and I

in the game. John Turnbull, 38, said: “I’ve been

with common problems. When a teenager stops

haven’t played since.” The facts and figures do not

playing on Sundays for over 20 years, but my

playing boys football at the age of 16 they only

bring enough attention to what is happening in

experience doesn’t count for a lot now. I’ve had

have two options. They make the step up to men’s

Sunday League football. If this were not the case, more solutions would be created to solve

three serious injuries and my body just can’t take it anymore.” “I’ve had concussion several times, a broken ankle and the last injury was torn ankle ligaments and cartilage, the same one I broke” After surgery repaired the damage, John had a 7 seven month

With experience in the game it is still hard for players to adapt the changes in the game.

many of the problems. There are previous stories of assault and even murder at games. The main focus is understandably on professional football, where violent situations do not often occur. When they do they are immediately dealt with in a serious

wait before he was fit to play again. But when the time came, his ankle couldn’t cope.

football for either a Saturday or Sunday team.

and effective way. For example, banning those

He said: “I did everything right in my recovery

The standard of Saturday football is high. For less

involved as well as fines. Should this apply at all

but you can’t prepare for football. The pain

serious, or less talented players, Sunday football

levels? Sunday League football isn’t focused on.

was too much; it felt weak, stiff and swelled up

is the only option. The brutal nature of the league

There is enough evidence to grab the attention

when I tried playing.”

can cause players to quit the game at a young age.

of associations who can make a difference.

After several attempts to recover, John finally

The transition can be difficult as Logan Fielder,

However with a lack of discipline, teams and

retired. He said: “It was frustrating because the

16, explains: “The first time I played I came on as

referees dropping out, with few solutions

drive was still there, but it was out of my control.

a sub, it was quite scary, being the youngest and

provided. It’s hard to see the state of the game

I would of played until I was 50 if I could. I’ve had

not the biggest didn’t help.”





A country full of entertainment and summer sun, the perfect location for holiday makers?


Renowned for its pale, working

into the surroundings in recent years.

Puerto Colon is another favourite, perfect

class visitors and teenage binge-

Now flower beds and artistically placed

for couples and families looking for an evening

drinkers, Tenerife hardly holds a reputable

stones circle planted palm trees, whilst areas

feast and some entertainment. It is a fairly


of waste land have now been shingled and

small port and bay, only a short stroll from

holiday chart. But has this Canary Island’s

decorated with shrubbery. I also noticed the

Playa Fanabe, which consists of restaurants

bad reputation been blown out of proportion?

amount of Mediterranean-looking builds

and sheesha bars. Owners compete for




This volcanic island is over-run with British

has quadrupled in Torviscas; more holiday

custom from care-free sun seekers as they

tourists and retired couples with burnt leathery

apartments for future timeshare buyers to

meander along the bay front – if nothing

skin. In season the resorts are swamped with

enjoy their family holidays or retirement in. It is

tickles your fancy in Puerto Colon, Playa

British families and adolescents running riot.

a sad reality for the once

As a child I was a quarter of one of those




young British families enjoying their holiday in

Island but a necessary

the sun. I remember the volcanic sand being as


dark as ash, the sea being a fresh turquoise blue

Tenerife attracting the

and the tiled floors around the pool hot enough

tourists and their Euros.

to fry an egg on. We went on dolphin trips

The grimmest part to

and visited the markets in search of the finest

Tenerife is now the party

(fake) Chanel handbags. Town centres were

streets of Veronicas strip

built up but surrounding areas were nothing

where teenage lager louts

more than barren, rubbish-filled, wastelands.

ogle at perfectly tanned



Surrounding areas were eye sores with barren land, floating rubbish and dains pipes

On my most recent visit to the island,

pins and the young, free and single drink

Fanabe is less than a 3 minute walk and is also

however, much has changed. The same

themselves into a stupor. Although Playa Las

worth looking around as many restaurants

tourist booths selling jet ski rides, day trips

Americas resembles an Essex high street after

and shops also stand there just off the beach.

to Mount Teide and trips to other Canary

last orders, walk a hundred yards away and

Tenerife is sometimes dismissed for its

Islands still stand proud, as do the hundreds

you’ll find a chilled out beach front; scattered

appallingly long list of cheap entertainment but

of restaurants and “Irish” pubs that the British

with cocktail bars, restaurants and small

I think I may have found a night fit for a king;

flock to like wilder beasts to a watering-hole,

bistro’s which bring a classic Mediterranean

one of the islands finest shows, The Medieval

yet it seems a lot of money has been ploughed

antidote to the chav-tastic party zones.

Night in San Miguel. Think of a castle, knights

A stunning view of

Tenerife beach

TIPS Watch Out For Picture name in shining armour, good food and great service.

worth it. If this place doesn’t tickle your fancy

Fantastic, mindless fun for the kids, both young

you could try eating in an old Monastery. Near

and old. You get given a coloured bib (yes, like

Puerto de la Cruz this once sacred restaurant

the ones from P.E lessons at school) and that

is more of a small village than a modest

is the colour knight you must support – the

restaurant. It became an eatery in the1980’s

louder you cheer the more your knight fights.

and specialises in Spanish dishes including

With a robust crowd an electric atmosphere

roast suckling pig and Canarian potatoes.

and original performance is guaranteed.

If you are seeking a more scenic side of

So what else is there other than silver

the island there is the soaring Mount Teide

knights, sun, sand, sea and shopping to keep

to visit. The 3,718 meters high mountain is

holidaymakers occupied during the day? A

a National Park home to unspoiled volcanic

visit to the island’s newest, most spectacular

rock formations as well as endangered species

water park, Siam Park has to be on tourist’s

of wildflowers. This gigantic mountain can

lists of things to do. Dare yourself to plummet

be seen from nearly anywhere on the island

down The Tower of Power slide, coax your

and is responsible for the dark sand which

friends onto The Dragon and jump into Wave

consequently came from volcanic rock. The

Palace, an artificial beach where waves up

drive up to the mountain boasts gorgeous

to 3 metres high come crashing down upon

views of the entire Island and once you’ve

you. The kiddie’s area is full of water madness

reached the top magnificent scenery alike to

and the lazy river is the biggest in Europe.

American canyon landscape can be enjoyed.

If you still are not convinced that this would

So next time your booking your summer

be an enjoyable holiday - maybe the lack of

holiday, don’t palm off the idea of a week in

culture and history leaves you somewhat

Tenerife. After all it is affordable, hot and

uninspired? There are plenty of small places

it does have countless shows, towns, clubs,

that offer more traditional Canary Island food.

water parks and beaches to keep you fully

The La Hierbita is a lovely canarian restaurant

occupied throughout your relaxing stay. Love

situated in Santa Cruz’s old quarter. You

it or hate it, this Canary Island definitely

have to book in advance for this restaurant

has something that thousands of British

especially in peak season but the food is well

holidaymakers are looking for all year round.

When buying trips around the island, be sure to question whether they are official. The best way to insure you won’t be robbed blind by these phony tourist boards is to use the ones run from your hotel complex.

Santa Cruz Carnival February 15th to March 13th

Enjoy the colours, bands, dancing and cabalgatas – or parades to you and I that continue along the streets of Santa Cruz long into the night. This carnival is the biggest on the island and fun for all. An election of the 3rd age Queen will be one of many acts to entertain and involve the crowds.

Be Careful...

Not many people can resist the cheap technical equipment when on holiday. Snapping away at the children having fun in the sun is a must, but be very careful when thinking of purchasing cameras. If it seems too good to be true it probably is. Stand your ground with the sales assistants as they may try to sell you something you don’t want for triple the money – you’re only an easy target if you let them talk you round.




y weekl , y l i a g it d for a little n i t t e g m u are always roo interesting o y r e Wheth hly there is ings a little ’s top tips: th e nt or mo on making Here’s Hyp e ts. advic n the shee e betwe

GET FRESH Suck an after-dinner mint and wait until there’s almost nothing left. Then go down on your partner. The sensation will be unlike anything they’ve experienced before.


Research has indicated that a couple of


cups of coffee could well boost the female libido. Even if that’s not 100% guaranteed,

the caffeine will improve your concentration

- very important if you’re getting hot and steamy in the bedroom.

MAKE ‘EM LAUGH Forget six-packs, pulsating pecs and

developed delts, there’s nothing the ladies love more than a man who can make them laugh.

In polls, most women admit that they find

a man with a sense of humour more attractive than a hunk.

It obviously wasn’t a successful formula

for Bernard Manning but a good titter is the quickest way to get to a lady’s giggle-button.


Couples who avoid sex before marriage end

up having happier, more stable relationships and a better time in bed, according to psychologists.

Researchers quizzed 2000 married couples

under the age of 30 about their relationships.

Compared with those having sex early, couples

who waited until they were married rated the stability of their relationships 22% higher.



Not only can eating an unhealthy diet make

you fat, it can also send your sex drive crashing.

One of the easiest and healthiest ways to

spice things up is by eating foods that boost libido and improve your stamina.

Better still, the foods that get things sizzling

are also naturally low-fat, so by following a

diet packed with them you could shed up to a stone in excess flab.


They also had 15% improved sexual quality.

p4 3






by Katie SMITH

ot, young designer Alexander Wang is

what everyone is talking about at the moment. The most unlikely celebrity you would come across due to his age and his

quiet and modest personality. From cashmere cardies to scooping a major industry award, this star of the New York fashion scene has come a very long way in five years.

Katie Smith talks to the designer they all want to know.

Alexander Wang’s 2011 spring/summer collection

has definatley shown that Alexander Wang is growing

out of his ‘prince of darkness phase.’ Everything at the show is cream’s and white and is refreshing look on the usual unique style of Wang. The models included the gorgeous British girls Agyness Deyn and Lily Donaldson and Pier 94 was packed to the rafters with the

stores including Barney’s to show off his collection.

The show was one of the most sort after this season.

“I realized that I didn’t just want to have a

“I started an art foundation at course during the

few jumper dresses hanging on a rail in a shop, I

summer for three months at St Martins. This was

wanted to have a whole collection that portrayed

very exciting for me as I had never been to London

meaning and my lifestyle” He then launched his full

before and knowing that it was a city that paid a

womenswear collection and recently has launched his

major contribution to fashion I was very excited”

first ever mens wear collection in his reknown ‘T’ line.

Alex said. After leaving London, Alex started at

Alex gains inspiration for his designs from people

Parsons in New York and also managed to gain

that are close to him and that he knows personally. “

an internship with Marc Jacobs, something that

There has never really been a certain piece by a designer

unbeknown to him at the time, would change his life.

that has inspired me, its more there careers that inspire

“I went to Parsons for two years and realized it was

me. Tom Ford with Gucci and obviously Marc Jacobs

more beneficial for me to be doing my internship at

with Louis Vuitton have been my main inspiration.” Alexander Wang seems to be a major part of

inspired the 25 year old designer to start off his career. “I

every celebrities life, but that’s not what really excites

decided to create a knit wear collection as I saw there was

him. “I get really excited when I just see a stranger

a niche in the market and also knitwear is easy to make

in the street wearing something I’ve designed.” Alex

as there is no tailoring involved.” Taking his designs to

appears to be a very down to earth young man that

a trade show , he was then signed up by 80 different

cares more about his work than he does about fame.


Marc Jacobs than it was sat in a classroom.” This is what


likes of Anna Wintour, M.I.A and Maggie Gyllenhaal.


shopping with

Lisa Snowdon Britain’s Next Top Model host Lisa Snowdon is the epitome of the girl next door. She has worn some of the most coveted designer gowns, and yet she still remains grounded on her views on fashion. By Larissa Hirst


hile used to being draped in

She looks down at her endless legs: “Oh, and lace

couture, 38-year-old Lisa doesn’t

too. It’s going to be such a fun season.” Her lace tights

seem to have the designer

are printed with a flowery motif which is a quirky

snobbery that many celebrities do.

alternative to boring black legs.

Instead she is a style advocate for high street fashion. Commenting about the British high street shops,

She also goes on to discuss the bigger and more daring trends for the autumn/winter season. “I love the

Lisa believes: “There’s lots of food for thought. You can

big shoulder; it’s really funky and cool. It gives more

get some great ideas and inspiration.”


Sat wearing a black French Connection dress, Lisa

The 80’s revival featured in fashion is something

seems to be on the style pulse. Sporting lace tights and

many are wary of, but Lisa claims the power shoulder is

ankle boots, and finishing her look with black nails, she

actually “not too scary to wear”. Her batwing dress is a

oozes celebrity glamour.

beautiful example of channelling the 80’s vibe, without

Her dress is an array of winter trends. Short, sexy and sharp, it features zips and batwing arms. Lisa manages to put together a variety of fashion forward ideas. Autumn and winter fashion for Lisa is something she manages to pull off with ease, and she can show how everyone can look as good, and in high street. As Lisa points to her shoes she comments: “I’m

being too garish. Catching Lisa’s eye also is Next: “I really like the tweed that Next is showing.” Next is featuring some great work-wear, and it hasn’t gone unnoticed. It proves, as Lisa says, “That tailoring goes a long way.” Lisa talks a lot about her love for the British high street: “It’s so glamorous it makes me want to go out.”

loving ankle boots, leather and Zara jackets. There are

One of her favourite looks for the winter party season is

lots of graphics going on.”

the Dynasty inspired collection, which many high street

The top model and presenter also thinks that every wardrobe should have certain items, and to not

shops are featuring. This includes a one-shouldered metallic number

underestimate them. “Basics like jeans and t-shirts are

from River Island, and a beautiful leopard print dress

essential,” according to Lisa. Then you add on trendy

from Monsoon: “The dress from Monsoon, I really love

items to make the outfit new and modern.

that, I have to buy that.” Lisa is determined to get her hands on those high street goodies, so you better race to your nearest shops and channel her model style in something high street, but still fabulous.


p4 9






Skirt, £39.99, by Yumi. Corset, £21.99, and Jacket, £26.99, both by H&M.

Top, ÂŁ20, and under lace vest, ÂŁ9.99, both by Zara.

Dress, ÂŁ49.99, by Yumi.


Dress, ÂŁ49.99, by Yumi.

Dress, ÂŁ78, by All Saints



Name: Heidi Wakington Age: 22 Occupation: Make-up artist Fashion Influence: Gwen Stefani, Marilyn Monroe Favourite shop: All charity shops Best fashion buy ever: ‘’The necklace I’m wearing. I have another one too, which i’ve painted red.’’ £4 from New Look

Name: Kat Sykes Age: 20 Occupation: Student Fashion Influence: Vintage bits and bobs Favourite shop: Beyond Retro Best fashion buy ever: A vintage gold necklace, £10 from a charity shop.

Name: Dean Burch Age: 22 Occupation: Student Fashion Influence: Gok Wan, Gareth Pugh, Alexander McQueen Favourite shop: H&M Best fashion buy ever: ‘’The glasses I’m wearing.’’ £2ish, from a street market in Hong Kong Name: Laurie Smith Age: 19 Occupation: Student Fashion Influence: Peaches Geldof, La Roux Favourite shop: Topshop Best fashion buy ever: ‘’The bag I’m wearing, although it was quite expensive, I use it all the time.’’ £85 from River Island Name: James Cannom Age: 21 Occupation: Student Fashion Influence: The band ‘Metronomy’ Favourite shop: H&M Best fashion buy ever: ‘The bag that I have with me’, £2 from a charity shop.


Name: Tash Binns Age: 20 Occupation: Student Fashion Influence: Anything vintage Favourite shop: H&M Best fashion buy ever: ‘’The high waisted black shorts I’m wearing, they go with everything!’’ £8 from Primark

Name: Karen Newstead Age: 19 Occupation: Student Fashion Influence: Dita Von Teese meets rock chic! Favourite shop: H&M Best fashion buy ever: ‘’A floral dress i’ve just bought, it’s actually perfect.’’ £32 from Topshop.

Name: Zoe Whitfield Age: 20 Occupation: Student Fashion Influence: Tennessee Thomas Favourite shop: Any charity shops Best fashion buy ever: Leather Jacket, £5 from Primark


Name: Lucy Bakes Age: 18 Occupation: Student Fashion Influence: Mary-Kate Olsen Favourite shop: Urban Outfitters Best fashion buy ever: Leather sheepskin jacket, £12 from a charity shop



Save our


cinema With so many iconic films in our history why is the industry dying so fast?

to secure financing through other means.

the Digital Screen Network. It’s thanks to this

His debut project was self financed, before

initiative that the UK now boasts more digital

being picked up by the HJ Entertainment

cinemas than any other European country.

production company who added the needed

Culture Secretary Ed Vaizey announced

professional polish. That isn’t to say that he

that the BFI will be taking over the funding

hasn’t seen problems occur in the industry.

role from the UK Film Council; however

“A lot of my friends have lost jobs on film

they have their own cuts to contend with. The

sets because funding has fell through at the

government have reduced their budget by 15%.

last minute and it’s only going to get worse”.

Ask any film

With the added pressure of taking over the

Simpson continued by commenting:

buff to name their favourite directors and chances

UK Film Councils funding responsibilities it

“David Cameron is saying we should be

are a few of them are from our very own patch of

remains to be seen how they will handle this.

thinking about making only big budget films

soil. Britain has a rich history of film; in fact the

Some of the proposed budget cuts won’t

that celebrates England’s locations to elevate

first moving pictures to be committed to celluloid

come into full effect for another four years.

tourism, but ploughing millions of pounds

were made in Hyde Park in 1889 by a British

Tina McFarling of the UK Film Council is

into a film doesn’t necessarily get you the

inventor. Since then we’ve given the world the

staying positive about the upcoming cuts.

next Harry Potter. With that mentality we’d be

comedic genius of Charlie Chaplin, the master of

“At this point it is a little difficult to see

driving away our most celebrated film directors

suspense Alfred Hitchcock, Ridley Scott’s visual

the full picture. However given that the

such as Mike Leigh and Shane Meadows.”

flair - the list goes on. Even Stanley Kubrick,

government has pledged that there will

It’s not only funding organisations that

enamoured with the country, took up residency

continue to be money for film developers

look to be tightening their belts though,

of his life becoming an honorary Brit. It’s a tradition that carries on to this day with directors such as Shane Meadows and Danny Boyle; but what



The UK now boasts more digital cinemas than any other country





be less likely to part with their cash to help fund a project. As Tina McFarling


“If you look across the board I think it doesn’t matter if you’re making

Recent statistics released by the UK Film

and film production, and the tax credit will

a micro budget [film] or if you’re a more

Council seem to suggest that both the number

continue, we have to be quite confident about

established independent producer, it’s not

of films produced, and the amount spent on

there being sufficient support for film makers.”

easy to raise the funding on any film. What

them, is beginning to decline. In 2009 69

But with the UK Film Council’s statistical

will happen is that it will be more essential

domestic UK features had been produced with

yearbook stating that “domestic UK films

to have what they call key elements that will

a combined spend of £177.2 million, but that

had a tougher time, finding it harder to

bring money to the market and that could be

had fallen last year to 55 features produced

raise money and lowering their budgets

the director or it could be elements of the cast.”

for £130.3 million. With the recent recession

as a result”, will independent film makers

She continues to explain that those films

it should come as no surprise that the UK film

struggle to secure financing for their features?

with a known director, or a hot actor attached

industry has taken such a hit, but with the

The UK Film Council believes that this isn’t

to them are more likely to raise money.

government recently announcing spending

a problem isolated to just the UK. As McFarling

“Those films were raising money and

cuts can it afford to take another blow?

explains, “Over the last 10 years the average

were being presold so there is money in the

The UK Film Council, founded in 2000, was

budgets of films has come down. It happened

market. They’re still tightening the budgets,

affected even before the recently announced

earlier in the 90s and that’s when the financing

but there’s still money in the market.”

spending cuts. In July last year it was announced

market was very difficult for different reasons.”

Those projects without a big name,

that it was to be abolished, with the chairman

She goes on to explain: “There has

or without interest from outside parties

Tim Bevan branding it “a bad decision”. Over



like Ben Simpson’s project, could find it

the last decade the UK Film Council has

films being made all round, not just

more of a struggle to secure financing.

contributed greatly to UK cinema, not only



tightening films


in is

the pretty



“Where it gets much more difficult is for

by helping to fund films such as Bend It Like

Ben Simpson, the director of independent

projects that take risks on unknown talent, and

Beckham and The Last King Of Scotland, but

project Patrol Men has been lucky enough

that might be lower budget films and micro


for the last four decades



also by ploughing money into projects such as


budget films, and there the financing will be

spend for inward investment films, which is

much more difficult because it’s so risky. It’s so

those backed by foreign financers, was £301.5

risky and in this climate companies can’t afford

million. That has risen in the last two years

to take that many risks,” warns McFarling. “That,

to more than double that at £780.1 million.

in a way, is why public funding is important







because you can take the risks and you can take

secure a strong foothold in the UK also

the time, which is really important, to develop up

with the recent announcement that it had

and coming film makers and you have a better

purchased Leavesden Studios and plans on

chance of developing more successful films.”

spending £100 million redeveloping the site.

It’s not all bad news for those film makers

Of course, this is very good in terms of

working with a small budget though, as

employment for crew members, with the new

McFarling elaborates. “Films can be made

Leavesden project creating 300 jobs. What it

less expensively and can be distributed less

is detrimental to is the identity of British films.

expensively and hopefully when distributed,

The independent film makers still need a voice,

if they can be self distributed, the filmmakers

and with American movie studios making

will actually get the money back to reinvest in

more noise on these shores it could detract

their next film. There are a lot of our projects

from home grown cinema. If nothing else, at

that are in development where the filmmakers

least it means there is money in the UK film

themselves fully intended to release them and

market, whether or not it makes its way into

see if they can make profit on the films that way.”

independent features is another matter entirely.

There are other options available for film

While the domestic UK film industry

makers to seek alternative sources of finance,

might not be in the rudest of health at the

most notably of all the internet. “The internet

moment, it does look like there may be some

has changed everything, there is not yet a

relief on the way. The lottery funding available

fully emerging model for financing films and

for film, currently at £27 million a year, is set

making revenues out of them on the internet by

to increase to £43 million by 2014. As long as

downloading but that is only around the corner,”

the funding is handled well, this could prove

Tina Mcfarling speculated, “film companies are

a massive boost for independent film makers

beginning to test out on that and not the transition

struggling to commit their visions to celluloid.

but the opportunities for other revenues will

In conjunction with this, the film tax

probably be with us in the next couple of years.”

relief which was launched in 2007 is now

This is something that Ben Simpson fully

lining the pockets of the right people. As

intends on taking advantage of. “I know a lot of

Tina McFarling explains, “that’s working

people in America are using the website Kick-

much more effectively and delivers the benefit

starter. It’s a great way to get funding without

directly to the film maker whereas previously

the hassle of the ‘bigwigs’ breathing down your

what used to happen is that a lot of the benefit

neck. Now anybody can become an executive

of tax credit disappeared to financiers.”

producer or invest money into a film from just $1.

Whether or not this will be enough, only

“The only downside is that for now you have

time will tell. With such a fantastic heritage, it

to be based in America. When it does come to

would be devastating if things were to worsen

England though, I’ll be using it for a short film.”

for the domestic UK film industry. It has

The independent film makers in the UK

provided inspiration to film makers around

may be struggling at the moment, but it seems

the world, and the current crop of British

that foreign productions have started flocking

talent is more than capable of continuing this

here in greater numbers. In 2008 the UK

proud tradition. Let’s just hope that they will be given the support and financial backing needed to ensure Britain is recognised as the best place for new and innovative features.

Anybody can become an executive producer or invest money into a film from just $1

British Fi



Get Carter (1


3 4 5 6

Dr No (1963)

Arguably M ichael Caine’s greatest film possibly the and best on this the story of list, Carter a hitman w te lls ho returns ho exact bloody me to revenge on the gangsters murdered h is brother. C who aine is at th his game and e top of is still the ep itome of cool imitated but . Often never match ed.


Monty Pytho n’s Life of Brian (1979) Arguably M ichael Caine’s gr p

ossibly the eatest film and best on this the story of list, Carter a hitman w te lls ho returns ho exact bloody me to revenge on the gangsters murdered h is brother. C who aine is at th his game and e top of is still the ep itome of cool imitated but . Often never match ed.


g (1996)

Arguably M ichael Caine’s greatest film possibly the and best on this the story of list, Carter a hitman w te lls ho returns ho exact bloody me to revenge on th murdered h e gangsters is brother. C who aine is at th his game and e top of is still the ep itome of cool imitated but . Often never match ed.

Get Carter (1


Arguably M ichael Caine ’s greatest fi possibly the lm and best on this the story of list, Carter tells a hitman w ho returns ho exact bloody me to revenge on the gangster murdered hi s who s brother. Cai ne is at the to game and is p of his still the epit ome of cool imitated but . Often never match ed.

Shaun of The

Dead (2004)

The first part of the ‘The B lood and Ice trilogy’ was Cream the brainchi ld of curren comedy favo t Briturites Simon Wright. The P zom-rom-com egg and Edgar could have be all out disast en an er, but thanks to some hila believable an rious, d distinctly British char this little be ac auty is now a favourite of ters years. recent


9 10

Withnail & I


Students’ favo urite and a ca reer high po its two stars. int for This is no co medy of sw and shine. It eetness has remaine d nicely as favourite, an a cult d it it. Written an s legacy is all the better d directed by for the dark hum Bruce Robin our goes for son, the throat an perfectly to d plays its firmly Bri tish target au dience.

Billy Elliot (2



Arguably M ichael Caine ’s greatest fi possibly the lm and best on this the story of list, Carter tells a hitman w ho returns ho exact bloody me to revenge on the gangster murdered hi s who s brother. Cai ne is at the to game and is p of his still the epit ome of cool imitated but . Often never match ed.


Who could fo rget this littl e blinder? Se a backdrop of t against violence and depression du the 1984 min er’s strikes, th ring is is the stor little ballet da y of the ncer who cou ld. Director St Daldry pulle ephe d a stunning debut perform n from Jamie B ance ell and Julie Walters was Oscar nom given an for her scen e stealing su performance pporting .

Lock Stock a nd Two Smoking Ba rrels (1998) Guy Ritch

ie’s first and un doubtedly be The multiple st movie. plot strands and 70’s thro remain a hig wback hlight of Bri tish cinema. are too man There y amazing m oments and choose a favo lines to urite. When this first hit Ritchie was la cinemas belled a Briti sh Tarantino. time it was a At the compliment.

The Full Mon

ty (1997)

When it was first released in have argued that it was th 1997 you could e shock fact made this su or that ch a hit. Her e we are nea years later an rly 15 d it remains as funny and it was then. Th sweet as e downtrodd en strippers fact be more may in relevant in th ese hard tim they were up es than on its release.


10 Best

Of all time



HYPE spares some pages to have a look into this year’s greatest blockbusters, then polishes off with a film debate. What more could one want?



s we wait, ever patiently for the third and final

Thanks, then, for Seth Rogen. He well and truly steals

part of their apocalypse and ice cream trilogy,

the show. He may only be playing his usual loveable, foul

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost have brought us a

mouthed schlub, but adding the alien gimmick makes it

new sci-fi comedy in the form of Paul.

feel refreshingly new.

When the trailer first hit, there were many naysayers

Kristen Wiig is a standout as a one-eyed creationist

due to the fact that Paul looked far too animated and

who’s kidnapped by the trio. Her ‘in God we trust’

unrealistic. Well those naysayers will now be silenced.

attitude vs. Paul’s knowledge of the universe secrets

The effects team have done a stellar job of blending the

make for a great comedic battle ground.

E.T. There is real weight to the animation and there are

Jason Bateman, Bill Hader and Joe Lo Truglio all

times within the film where you forget you’re watching

have a great time as the government agents in Paul’s

a C.G character.

pursuit. They aren’t exactly original characters, but as

It plays like a game of spot the reference, with classic sci-fi and comic nods and winks coming in every few minutes. The pair have been clever enough not to throw it in your face and risk alienating non sci-fi aficionados.

these three have proved time and time again, they are the kings of scene stealing.

It plays like a game spot the reference with classic sci-fi and comic nods and winks.

The film is not without its faults. Until they meet Paul, Pegg and Frosts duo are the

It wouldn’t be right to review this movie without

equivalent of the even couple. Credit to them for not

including one of its crown jewels. Yes, the queen of sci-fi

covering the same ground as they did in Shaun and Fuzz,

Sigourney Weaver is also aboard as the shadowy leader

but there isn’t a great deal of humour to be found in two

of the unknown government agency.

best friends getting along. So the first twenty minutes of

The movie lets you know up front exactly what its

the film is annoyingly bland. Even the presence of Glee’s

intentions are. Just like Shaun was an homage to the

Jane Lynch and Anchorman’s David Koechner fail to

Romero style zombie classics this is a love letter to early

bring any substantial laughs.

Spielberg. Unfortunately, the boys love letter does give


a sense that they spent several months going through their DVD collections and cramming all their favourite moments into one film. It wouldn’t be fair to call it lazy, they’ve just pulled a Tarantino and it is less ambitious than we have come to expect from their pairings.


RELEASE: FEB 2011 DIRECTOR: greg mottola STARRING: nick frost / simon pegg / seth rogen SCREENPLAY: nick frost / simon pegg


unknown RELEASE: march 2011 DIRECTOR: jaume colletserra STARRING: liam neeson / diane kruger / january jones SCREENPLAY: oliver butcher / stephen cornwell


fter the surprising success of last years

When he wakes, he explains to the Doctors who he

Taken, Liam Neeson has become something

is and convinces them to let him leave. He travels back to

of a left field action star. There he proved,

the hotel only to find his wife have no idea who he is and

that despite his ascending years he can still

another man has taken his identity. You see, during the

kick arse with the best of them. Stallone, watch your

crash he lost his wallet and all identification. Don’t you

back, there’s a new hero in town.

just hate it when that happens?

Despite some media outlets stating that this

So off we go on a mission for Harris to prove who he

is effectively Taken 2, there are actually very few

is. Along the way he is dragged into a very sinister web of

similarities between the movies, except for the fact

violence, corruption and terrorism. It does take quite some

that Neeson is hard as nails in both. For the massive

time for the action to really set in motion, and things do get

amount of fun that Taken was, there wasn’t a great deal

rather drab when all you’re watching is Neeson exclaiming

They are caught in an expertly shot car accident leaving Harris in a coma for four days.

that he is DR! Martin Harris for 20 minutes. Seriously, you’ll have more fun trying to count how many times he says this during that portion of the film than you will watching the film itself.

of plot, and what there was of it was only there to move

Once the action gets moving though it is pretty good

Neeson from place to place so he could bring the pain.

fun. But that is all it is, fun. Director Jaume Serra and the

Unknown however, is a thought out, if not provoking

screen writers aren’t trying to carve out anything new here. It’s

thriller. Neeson is Dr Martin Harris, a scientist who has

basically a mash up of Bourne, Bond and any other political

travelled to Berlin with his wife for a conference. During

thriller/actioner you’ve ever seen. And you’ll see the twist

his visit he gets into a taxi driven by the brilliant and

coming from a mile away. If you watch the trailer and think

beautiful Diane Kruger. You may remember her from her

about it enough, you could figure it out from there.

brilliant performance as Bridget in Quentin Tarantino’s

It’s great to see Neeson dishing out the pain again, but

Inglorious Basterds. They are caught in an expertly shot

a lazy script and lack of originality leave this as a ‘wait for

car accident leaving Harris in a coma for four days.

the DVD’ watch.

west is west RELEASE: FEB 2011 DIRECTOR: andy deemmony STARRING: aqib khan / om puri / linda bassett SCREENPLAY: ayub khandin


en years have passed since the smash

As a sequel, the film ticks all the right boxes. It expands

comedy East is East graced the silver

on the mythology of the first, introduces new characters

screen. Now is the time for the second part

and develops the old ones. Unfortunately, one of the best

of the Khan family’s hilarious tale. It would

characters from East, Tariq’s role is reduced to a mere one

have been easy to say that the film has only been

scene cameo. The plot doesn’t suffer particularly for this, it

commissioned to reap the benefits of the originals cult

was just a shame to see so little of him.

classic status. Thankfully, West feels like an organic

Sajid, whilst having some of the best one liners

progression of the story, offering a welcome addition

in East has really come into his own in this movie.

to the highly dysfunctional family’s story.

He displays fantastic comedic timing and hits all the

The original cast have returned, set five years after the

emotional punches with great skill. But for all the

original, the family has somewhat disbanded. The chip shop

comedy elements and father/son dynamic, the films

is still in full swing with Mrs Khan #2 and Auntie Annie.



promiscuous Tariq now

Sajid, whilst having some of the best one liners in East has really come into his own.

runs his own business, using the mysterious (and fairly fictitious) tales of his

greatest element is the issue of abandonment.

homeland to woo local girls who come to his shop.

How can this man, who walked away from his family

Runt of the litter Sajid is in secondary school and facing

35 years earlier just show up one afternoon and expect to

merciless torment from the local bullies. When he starts

be welcomed with open arms? And just what kind of effect

skipping school and shoplifting, not to mention completely

does his double life take on his two wives? This is an issue

abandoning his Pakistani heritage, father George decides

that is handled beautifully, culminating in a heartfelt and

to take Sajid to the Punjab in order to finally sort him out.

devastatingly emotional scene between the two Mrs Khan’s.

Upon arrival they go and stay with Mrs Khan #1 and the

Beautifully scripted and very funny in all the right

family George abandoned 35 years earlier. His other son

places, perhaps not as much so as the original, but a

Maneer is also living in Pakistan trying in vain to find a wife.

valiant effort indeed.


DEBATE no Strings attached

RELEASE: FEB 2011 DIRECTOR: ivan reitman STARRING: ashton kutcher / natalie portman / kevin kline SCREENPLAY: elizabeth meriwether

charm, putting in a solid performance even if he is slightly overshadowed by Portman. Clearly Reitman is aiming for the lower age

“ T

bracket to boost ticket sales. For a film of this subject matter, there is a distinct lack of bad

hank the lord that we have finally

language and sex scenes. There is actually only one

been delivered a rom-com that

proper scene and a montage, all of which are very

doesn’t give you the best of the film

tame. This leaves the feeling that this could have

in a three minute trailer. There was

been a much more ambitious project that has been

a great deal of worry going into this movie that

skimmed over for a tamer audience.

we would once again have three minutes of

Perhaps Reitman is accountable for this.

hilarity, intertwined with 97 minutes of droll,

It’s possible that in the hands of his son Jason, a

cliché ridden antics. But director Ivan Reitman

distinguished director in his own right, having

of Ghostbusters fame has delivered a charming,

made the brilliant Thank you for Smoking and

enjoyable, if highly predictable February treat.

Juno, would have been more suitable to this kind or

Coming straight from

the success of Black Swan and the vast amount of accolades it has brought

Clearly Reitman is aiming for the lower age bracket to boost ticket sales.

with it, Natalie Portman is shaking things up as Emma, a trainee doctor

project. In his hands it could have been an edgier

who has no time or interest in committing to a

and thought provoking piece of cinema.

relationship. Starring alongside her is a surprisingly charming Ashton Kutcher.

For all of its faults and predictability, Strings does deliver a solidly enjoyable February romp, no

That was worry number two, given that the

pun intended. The wonderful supporting cast hit

majority of Kutcher’s other work left you wanting

all the right notes and Portman and Kutcher prove

to bury your foot squarely between his teeth. He’s

both believable and likeable, and for once you do

on suave and hilarious form here. He and Portman

find yourself rooting for them to get together. A cut

have chemistry to spare as the ‘sex-friends’. As

above the usual rom-com fare, but it does leave you

Adam, he has dropped the smarm and upped the

feeling like it could have been much better.

made bearable by its light comedy but the laughs but these are but a soft and vague flicker in my memory, overshadowed by irritation and boredom. It begins with childhood friends Adam (Kutcher) and Emma (Portman) being reunited then continuously

“ A

until they swap numbers. Time passes and Adam has a dad related drama, instigating a drinking binge.

s a female, I’m defying the boundaries

Paralytic, he calls Emma and she rescues him from the

of stereotype by openly admitting

clutches of alcohol. Upon waking up naked, their hunt

I’m not a fan of romantic comedies.

for his trousers turns in to ‘accidental’ sex.

Granted, it’s a generalisation to say

By this point, my face was already contorting in

that the whole genre is bad but I usually end up

frustration. Drunken phone calls from near strangers

with a severe feeling of plot déjà vu.

would, in my world, be answered with the big red reject

I’m not one to turn down a freebie though,

call button!

so when given the opportunity to preview the

The female lead of current rom-coms is a tiresome

new release ‘No Strings Attached’, I went in fully

and anti-love trying to portray independence. Armed

prepared for my film palette to have changed.

with these cold personality traits, Emma suggests a

Sadly my hopes were quashed and my open mind was ready to close its doors to rom-


bumping into each other, exchanging minimal words,

Kutcher clawed in the laughs while Portman’s uptight stance proved too intense.

With leading characters played by the Ashton

‘friends with benefits’ relationship with strictly no

Kutcher and Natalie Portman, I hoped this film

snuggling. Cue scenes of passionate sex and Kutcher

may have seen a beautiful amalgamation of a


comedy genius and talented actress. Unfortunately

Adam now loves Emma, even making her a period

the chemistry was nil. Kutcher clawed in the laughs

mixtape (yes, it’s exactly how it sounds) and she secretly

while Portman’s uptight stance proved too intense

loves him too but that would show weakness. Surprise,

for this one-dimensional film.

she starts pushing him away but all of a sudden drops

‘No Strings Attached’ is a light-hearted attempt

the heartless act and wants to be with him, but is it too

at an insight in to the ‘sex-buddy’ generation of the

late? The couple end up living happily ever after, but

21st century. The weak and predictable plot was

this was obvious from the beginning right?


coms once again.


Marvel VS Capcom 3: Fate Of Two Worlds The award winning Crysis returns with

York which has been evacuated due to an

the second instalment in a planned trilogy.

alien infestation. The developers Crytek are

Release in 2007, the first game in the series

keeping most of the plot details under wraps.

sold in excess of one million copies, and

However, what is known is that you will play

picked up awards for Best Shooter from

as a Green Beret named “Alcatraz” who is in

GameSpot and Game of the Year from PC

possession of Crynet Systems Nanosuit, and

Gamer. Whilst it was a PC exclusive, this time

they aren’t happy about it. The game will be

around Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 owners

released in March, but for those eager to give

can get in on the shooting action as well. The

it a go now a multiplayer demo is available for

story takes place in 2023, three years after

download now.

the events of the original, in a futuristic New

Crysis 2 The award winning Crysis returns with

York which has been evacuated due to an

the second instalment in a planned trilogy.

alien infestation. The developers Crytek are

Release in 2007, the first game in the series

keeping most of the plot details under wraps.

sold in excess of one million copies, and

However, what is known is that you will play

picked up awards for Best Shooter from

as a Green Beret named “Alcatraz” who is in

GameSpot and Game of the Year from PC

possession of Crynet Systems Nanosuit, and

Gamer. Whilst it was a PC exclusive, this time

they aren’t happy about it. The game will be

around Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 owners

released in March, but for those eager to give

can get in on the shooting action as well. The

it a go now a multiplayer demo is available for

story takes place in 2023, three years after

download now.


Screenshot of Crysis 2

the events of the original, in a futuristic New

The first Dragon Age was one of the hit RPGs

The sequel sees the same non-linear narrative

of 2009, spawning an expansion pack and

as the first make a return, allowing you to

scores of Game of the Year accolades from the

wander off the beaten track and complete

gaming press. Hardly surprising considering

side quests to your heart’s content.

the folks behind it at BioWare developed

One of the most exciting features is the ability

Baldur’s Gate and Star Wars: Knights of the

to import the choices you made throughout

Old Republic.

the first game, which will then be reflected in

You take control of Hawke, a survivor of the

Dragon Age II. PC, Playstation 3 and Xbox

Blight from the original, as you play a decade

360 gamers will be able to purchase the game

through his life writing history as you play.

in early March.

Crysis 2 screenshot and Dragon Age II packshot from http://ea.gamespress. com/ , Marvel Vs Capcom 3 packshot from


Dragon age 2


STHEIMPLY EST HYPE’s Best Book for Romantics

HYPE’s Best Book for the Mind

Ava is trying to juggle a life that has too many pieces whilst struggling to

With razor-sharp writing and chilling revelations, Do No Harm is about

keep her own identity. Realising her daughter needs her Ava discovers

a doctor who deliberately goes out of her way to maim her patients.

there is no such thing as feeling ‘empty’ – not if she is to hold onto the

AUTHOR ALERT: Carol Topolski was nominated for the 2008

most precious pieces of her heart.

Orange Turner Prize for her debut novel Monster Love. Graduating

AUTHOR ALERT: Dublin born Moriarty began writing as a journalist,

from the University of East Anglia with a Creative Writing

living in Paris and London. Her debut novel The Baby Trail has been

MA, Topolski spent many years working as a psychoanalytic

translated into over twenty languages. Pieces of my Heart is her

psychotherapist before turning to writing full time.

Pieces of my Heart - Sinead Moriarty (out now)

Do no harm - Carol Topolski (out now)



HYPE gives you the lowdown on the new releases the book world has to offer this year.

sixth novel.

HYPE’s Best Book for Blokes

HYPE’S Best Book for the Truth

Kevin Thunder grew up with a double - a boy so uncannily like him that

At great risk to herself, Kathy unravelled the ugly truth about officers

they were mistaken for each other at every turn.

involved in human trafficking and forced prostitution – this is her story.

HYPE’s Best Book for fans of Jodi Picoult

HYPE’s Best Book for Shopaholics

In a baffling netherworld of doubt and fear, barred from contacting her

Best mates Sandie, Emily and Grazia have been through so much

son, Danielle clings to the thought of Max’s innocence. Is her baby boy

together: widowhood, divorce and redundancy for starters. They thought

really a killer?

they’d be friends forever, but they reckoned without the dividing effects

HYPE’s Best Book for those who love a good mystery

of men and money...

Saving Max – Antoinette Van Heugte (out in March)

The Whistleblower – Kathryn Bolkovac (out 18th February)

The Secret Shopper Affair – Kate Harrison (out 3rd March)

AUTHOR ALERT: Harrison’s third book follows the well-known

Cold Light – Jenn Ashworth (out 12th May)

bestsellers: ‘The Secret Shopper’s Revenge’ and ‘The Secret Shopper

A new body is unearthed on the day Lola’s hometown gather to remember

Unwrapped’. Her website not only provides

her best friend Chloe, who died in a suicide pact on Valentine’s Day.

information on all of her novels but has advice for wannabe writers and

Lola finds herself alone in her knowledge of the dark story that links

a link to her regularly updated blog.

these deaths.


Mistaken –Neil Jordan (out now)



week without... te

chocola A chocoholic consumes 15 (60g) bars of chocolate

characteristics, but I’m most certainly not the type

per week and craves it approx six times a week.

to eat 15 bars a week just to overcome an essay…

The British are a nation of chocoholics so this week I’m going into chocolate rehab.

There are substances in chocolate that trigger the brain to release mood-enhancing chemicals

When I was little chocolate was a treat. A tiny

leaving a sense of a euphoria, pleasure and

square was snapped off everyday at 3.30pm when

relaxation. Other scientists have discovered that

I finished school. It was the best part of my day

chocolate contains substances that are similar to

biting into the solid cocoa block.

the effects of marijuana, leaving the consumer

The flavour, the taste, the texture. (my face expression resembled something similar to

feeling ‘high’ - well I’ll remember that next time we crack open the tin of Roses at Christmas!

Charlie’s from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory).

A way of realising you’re an addict (according

Now, when it hits that time in-between lunch

to scientists) is you feel guilty from eating too

and dinner and I’m peckish, the first thing I think

much chocolate, or even products containing

of is chocolate. Also, working nights involves

chocolate. Weight gain isn’t associated with

taking bars of chocolate to prevent me from

addiction, and not associated with me either.

falling asleep and to keep my energy levels up til

‘Where do you put it’? ‘Do you ever stop eating’?

the early hours.

This is the problem, I can satisfy my taste buds

Since I started university I’ve always found the

with Galaxy bars till my hearts content and my

tendency to stress myself out beyond belief about a

trusty metabolism will deal with it. But this week

worthless article or hand in date. Currently in my

I have been well and truly put to the test finding

third and final year the increasing rapid chocolate

alternatives and naturally sweet produce to eat

consumption could relate to its stress-relieving

when my colossal cocoa cravings begin.



I defeated the vending machine! To begin with it was like a scene out of Requiem For a Dream, the machine definitely jumped out wanted me to raid it and rip open the king size packet of Malteasers. Then the engineer arrived. The perfect day to take the machine



An invitation to Starbucks didn’t seem a

apart and lay out the tray full of goodies on

Most certainly not impressed

problem until I scanned over my personal

the floor in front of me…

with my housemate buying a

blackboard menu in my head only to discover

gigantic bar of fruit and nut

that everything I usually purchase is chocolate

and chomping on it next to me.

based; mocha, creamy hot chocolate e.t.c. So a

The worst thing, he never eats

caramel macchiato it was and the unnecessary

chocolate but enjoyed every

chocolate Tiffin remained in the cabinet. First

minute! Oh the pain of the 4

hurdle, complete.

o’clock craving!





I thought this day would be a write off, counting

I took this 4 o’clock craving to

down the hours, minutes, and seconds until I

a whole new level today. Three

could dive into my box of goodies. But even

cups of tea and a whole packet

though spending all day cooped up in my room

of ginger nuts biscuits…sugar

writing, having a chocolate outbreak didn’t even

overload 1 – chocolate 0!

cross my mind. Was my sweet tooth yanked out by the dark fairy or am I actually getting used to this no chocolate diet?






and wiggled at me, maybe it growled but it

The food cart man on the train to London was on the dark side, trying to ruin my challenge. Before I knew it I had a packet of Jaffa Cakes in my hand until reality hit me…well my friend



did. Oh the disgusted look on her face, the joy on mine. Flapjack it was.

Another day of writing, another day without the need for my chocolate fix. However there isn’t a doubt in my mind that I won’t enjoy a packet of Minstrels at 12pm!

I’m not going to end with ‘what I’ve

The brainy men in white coats

learnt’ and ‘what I will change in the

are still trying to rattle their hefty

future’ jargon. However, I have felt a lot

brains in order to find out the real

healthier this week. I have felt more alert

effect chocolate has on people. What

and less tired and drained, probably due

physical or psychological effects does

to the fact I have eaten proper food when

the consumption of this sweet and

I snack and actually finished bags of fruit

tasty substance have on us? Until they

instead of alowing them to grow mould

find the answer, I’ll revert back to

while hidden away in my cupboard.

chocolate being a treat.

































The Hype Magazine  

Lifestyle publication produced by students at Southampton Solent University. See my review on PAGE 68: No Strings Attached - The Debate

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