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How to Kick a Soccer Ball ~ Julia Soccer isn’t just skills; soccer is about the mind; soccer takes focus and anticipation. This concentration is essential when you are shooting goals. When I shoot on the goal, I kick as hard as I can, over everyone’s head, past the goalie and into the net. When I first started playing soccer, my kick into the goal was out of control; my form was terrible. Since you know soccer is about thought and awareness, you might ask me how did you get so much better at soccer? I follow a few rules in my head, to make sure I’m focused on soccer and only soccer – well maybe not always soccer. Rule Number One: DON’T FREAK OUT. As you are running down the field and someone passes you the ball, don’t freak out. Even if there’s a defenseman who’s body fat is 90% don’t be alarmed. To calm yourself, take deep breaths in and out. If you’re still shaking and are nervous, you can make weird noises such as, “DERP!” If this makes you laugh it’ll certainly calm your nerves. 10-second interval.

Rule Number Two: GAIN CONTROL. After your nerves have settled, and you’re more relaxed you are now able to gain control. If you used the method of yelling crazy things, the defenseman probably thinks you’re weird and don’t know how to play soccer. What’s great about this is you are now in control, and can dictate what might happen next. Since the defender thinks she is better at soccer, she’ll take it easy and not try her hardest. Little does Chubby know you are now able to surpass her. 3-second interval.

Rule Number Three: EXCEED EXPECTATIONS. Now that you have gained control, you can fake your opponent out. This will definitely be unexpected and sudden for her, so I recommend taking a second to smile at her and maybe give a little wink. When this is done, you can use your favorite "fake out" tactic. This includes the Maradona (a move where you bring one foot over the soccer ball and use the foot behind you to drag the ball forward) or the scissors move (a move where you bring your foot over the ball and in a circular motion move your foot back to your body). These tricks make your body look like


it’s going one way, but really it’s going the opposite. When you have finished your move, you have hopefully made Little Miss I’m Better At Soccer embarrassed because you have exceeded the expectations she has given. 7-second interval.

Rule Number Four: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. Have you ever been walking and there’s a scary looking person behind you? Did you run you heart out because you thought they were going to murder you? If so, this is what you do in soccer. You have passed the defender with a really awesome move, so now you can run to the goal. Imagine a man with a knife running behind you. What do you do? RUN FOR YOUR PRECIOUS LIFE! This means when you have the ball dribble down the field like there’s no tomorrow. Depends on how fast you run.

Rule Number Five: WAIT FOR THE RIGHT MOMENT. Right now I know you want to be the center of attention because you’re about to shoot the most outstanding goal. You want your goal to be remembered. In the movies people go in slow motion, but if you do that you’ll look like a lunatic walking on the moon. As an alternative, stall a little when you’re running. Look around at all the people watching you; take five deep breaths; think about all your teammates high fiving you. Now that you have stalled for a few seconds, it’s time to shoot. 9-second interval.

Rule Number Six: DON’T MESS UP. You have conquered every obstacle before this. Please don’t mess this one up. To set up the ball for shooting, back off from the ball a step or two. Now, take your dominant foot and swing it back to your backside. This will get the most momentum. Thrust your leg forward striking the ball with the laces of your shoe. Pick your foot up a little so the ball can get some air. Watch Chubby behind you, with her mouth dropped down to the turf. Sigh to yourself like it was nothing. Hear the whistle of the referee sound, and let your teammates hug you and high five you as you all jump in a circle screaming wildly. Thrust your fist in the air and yell, “THIS IS SPARTA!”


20-second interval.

I hope you have learned how to kick a soccer ball in an intense game. In case you forget, remember you need to relax, gain control, make your opponent embarrassed, run for your life, wait for the right moment and don’t mess up. In the end, soccer is all about having fun and loving what you do.  


How to Kick a Soccer Ball Julia