Shirley and Joe’s story This month marks a year since Shirley had her stroke. On 14 September 2017, Shirley was at home with her husband of nearly 50 years, Joe, who she affectionately calls Joey! “I remember that day clearly” recalls Shirley. “As a family, we were anxious. Our daughter and her family were in Florida on holiday when two category 5 hurricanes hit. America was in a state of emergency and there was very little we could do, apart from waiting for updates. I was very stressed.”
Feeling confused
“On the morning of 14 September I had an incredibly intense headache; like nothing I had ever felt before. I remember taking a shower. I then went downstairs whilst Joey had his shower. All I recall happening next was being uncontrollably and violently sick. When he came downstairs, he immediately called 999.”
The emergency services arrived in just 3 minutes and blue-lighted Shirley directly to Colchester General Hospital, where she was assessed as having had a stroke. She was eventually transferred to a private room on the stroke ward where she stayed for just over 5 weeks. “It was a scary time in hospital, even though the stroke care team at the hospital were amazing” says Shirley. “I was confused and it was so difficult to order my thoughts and understand what was happening to me. I felt as if I was in prison. Every time I moved from my bed I was quickly prompted by an electronic device telling me to return to resting. I couldn’t understand why I needed other people’s permission to leave the hospital, even though it was to keep me safe. Physically, I felt fine, but inside I felt so muddled and alone.” “Even now, if you didn’t know Shirley you wouldn’t think she is living with the effects of a brain injury. It’s a hidden injury.” says Joe. “It’s isolating, having a brain injury” adds Shirley, even though her husband and grandchildren were by her bedside every day whilst she was in hospital and spend a lot of time with her now. “I can be in a room full of people and feel completely lost in my thoughts.”
Help from Headway Essex
Shirley and Joe knew they had to take all the support that was on offer. At the hospital, the nurses recommended Headway Essex. “We didn’t have any reservations about making contact. Reading about the charity and the type of services available, we got in touch straight away” says Joe. “Headway Essex has been a lifeline to us. I would recommend their services to anybody who has a brain injury” adds Shirley. “I made steady progress in my recovery in the first six months, but as the support tailedoff from the NHS and ACE, I felt myself regressing slightly. “I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and will start getting dressed thinking it is the morning even though it’s dark outside. I also struggle with using my debit card for payment and get anxious about people waiting behind me at a checkout.” “Headway Essex though has been great at suggesting compensatory techniques” adds Joe. “We even have a Headway card that Shirley hands over to the cashier with her debit card when making a payment. It subtly lets the cashier know that she has a brain injury. So far, she’s used it in Boots and Marks & Spencer. On both occasions, the cashiers were wonderful with Shirley.”