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Welcome...

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What Boys Really Think About Girls and qÜêÉÉ=íÉÉå~ÖÉ=Äçóë=Ñêçã=qçïÉê=e~ãäÉíë=J=_çÄÄóI=NRI= Sex aóä~åI=NQI=~åÇ=e~êêóI=NQ=J=í~äâ=ëÉñI=ÅçåÇçãë=~åÇ=éÉÉê=éêÉëëìêÉK

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Is it true that boys only think about sex? B: The majority of the time, yes - especially in the summer. D: Yes. H: No, they also think about sports, video games and school work.

Do boys carry condoms with them? B: Of course they don’t. D: Not all the time, but mostly. H: No they don’t. On my own part, it’s better to use a condom at this age because you don’t want a kid or sexually transmitted infections (STIs)

Do boys have sex just to get rated? B: The majority of the time, yes. D: It changes, some boys do. H: No, there are a lot of other things boys do to get rated.

Do boys prefer a girl that covers up or a girl that hardly wears anything? B: I prefer a girl that covers up. We like the ones who cover up to love. If a girl doesn’t cover up we tend to like her for other things. D: Some do. H: A good balance is better. It depends on the mindset of the guy

Do boys see girls as ‘easy’ if they have sex straight away? B: Of course! I wouldn’t respect a girl that does that. D: Not all the time, but mostly. H: I would think the girl is loose if she has sex straight away.

Do boys ever worry about having sex? B: Yes they do, but they just go with the flow. D: Yes, they do worry. H: I have no idea.

Do boys feel pressurised by their friends to have sex? B: If all their other friends have had sex they probably will. D: Depends what kind of friends they have. H: No, they don’t feel pressured – I don’t.

Do you think boys and girls can be just friends? All: Yes

FACTS AND STATS kçí=ÉîÉêóÄçÇó=áë=Ü~îáåÖ=ëÉñK=fíÛë=lh=íç=t^fq

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3


A Beginner’s Guide to

Contraception

4

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pçãÉ=éÉçéäÉ=ã~ó=ÉñéÉêáÉåÅÉ= ÇáòòáåÉëëI=å~ìëÉ~=~åÇ=îçãáíáåÖ=~ÑíÉê í~âáåÖ=be`K fÑ=óçì=îçãáí=ïáíÜáå=O=Üçìêë=çÑ=í~âáåÖ be`I=óçì=åÉÉÇ=íç=ÖÉí=~=êÉéÉ~í=éêçîáÇÉÇ íÜ~í=íÜÉ=åÉï=Ñáêëí=ÇçëÉ=ÖáîÉå=áë=ëíáää ïáíÜáå=TO=Üçìêë=çÑ=íÜÉ=Ñáêëí=ìåéêçíÉÅíÉÇ áåíÉêÅçìêëÉK _ÉÑçêÉ=í~âáåÖ=be`=ã~âÉ=ëìêÉ=óçìê éÜ~êã~Åáëí=çê=ÜÉ~äíÜ=éêçÑÉëëáçå~ä âåçïë=áÑ=óçì=~êÉ=í~âáåÖ=~åó=çíÜÉê= ãÉÇáÅáåÉëI=áåÅäìÇáåÖ=íÜçëÉ=~î~áä~ÄäÉ=íç Äìó=ïáíÜçìí=~=éêÉëÅêáéíáçå=~åÇ=ÜÉêÄ~ä êÉãÉÇáÉëI=ëìÅÜ=~ë=píK=gçÜåDë=tçêíK be`=ïçåÛí=éêçíÉÅí=óçì=Ñêçã=pqfë=áÑ óçìÛîÉ=Ü~Ç=ìåéêçíÉÅíÉÇ=ëÉñI=ëç=áíÛë=ÄÉëí íç=ÖÉí=íÉëíÉÇ>

5


A Lot Can Change How old were you both when you discovered Bina was pregnant? Bina: I was 16 when I found out, approaching 17. Reece: 17.

How did you react when you first found out about the pregnancy? B: I was shocked and surprised because I didn’t realise how far gone I was. How did you cope when Bina told you, Reece? R: We actually found out together. B: He screamed! R: Yes, I screamed! I was surprised and shocked.

How did your parents react when you told them? B: My dad was disappointed and in turn became angry because he didn’t expect it. My mum was angry as well, but after a while they became supportive. R: My parents were extremely disappointed but became supportive towards the end.

How did your friends react to the news? B: One of my friends didn’t actually believe me; she thought I was joking! It was very unexpected and quite unlike me. She believed me after I continually told her I was pregnant for three weeks. R: It was a huge shock to my friends too, but they were supportive.

6

Within your peer group what was the general opinion about underage sex? R: There were some who were strongly against it but the majority have the view that if it’s what you want to do then it’s just up to you. B: My friends had very strict


9

e in

Months

`ÜáäÇÜççÇ=ÑêáÉåÇë=oÜóë=pãáíÜI=NUI=~åÇ=_áå~=m~íÉäI=NUI ïÉêÉ=~=ÅçìéäÉ=Ñçê=íïç=óÉ~êë=ÄÉÑçêÉ=íÜÉáê=ëçå=g~ó=ï~ë ÄçêåI=~åÇ=íÜÉáê=äáîÉë=ÅÜ~åÖÉÇ=ÑçêÉîÉêK=eÉêÉI=íÜÉó=í~äâ=íç d~ÄêáÉääÉ=^ééá~Ü=~åÇ=kóçãá=iáÄìêÇ=~Äçìí=íÜÉ=ÜáÖÜë ~åÇ=äçïë=çÑ=íÉÉå~ÖÉ=é~êÉåíÜççÇK= backgrounds so they were actually against it.

Did you think about protection at all? B: It was just one particular incident.

When you found out about the pregnancy did you ever consider not keeping the baby? B: Even though the pregnancy was a shock, we were kind of happy in a way. But we were being pressurised a lot by our family to have an abortion. I did actually book an appointment just to make everyone happy but I didn’t go when the day came. I’ve always been pro-life.

When you were deciding whether or not to keep the baby, did you get any help or find anywhere that could offer you support? B: I did go to a clinic in Ilford and it wasn’t great. I didn’t feel comfortable there, but then I came across Building Blocks.

How did you come across Building Blocks? B: I was at an antenatal appointment and a lady called Claire told me about the programme and I thought it might help me. How beneficial has it been? B: Reece and I didn’t know where to

start with babies; we literally had no experience. I found it really good and it helped us a lot.

How was the first few weeks of having a young baby? R: Well, there are a lot of sleepless nights! But after a few weeks you get used to it; it’s like learning how to drive. How are you coping now? B: I have a good support system thanks to both of our families, so I’m not really pressurised with schoolwork. Jay can play now, and I can interact with him better. R: It’s easier now than when he was newborn because he wakes up less during the night.

How have your relationships with each other and your friends changed? B: We’ve become a lot stronger as a couple. With friends, you lose some and you make some. I don’t see my old friends as often as I used to, and we’re just not as close as we were. R: I’d agree with Bina. Do you have any regrets? B: I always wanted to be a barrister, and at first, being a young mum, I thought I’d never be able to do that. But now I’m doing my A levels and next year hopefully I’ll be going to university to do a law degree.

R: I’ll also be going to study a travel and tourism BTEC in September.

What advice would you give to teenagers who are sexually active right now? B: I’d say be careful. Though teenage pregnancy isn’t the worse thing in the world, it’s not something which is easy or something you’d want to aspire to. R: It’s not a walk in the park; it takes a lot of commitment.

Building Blocks is part of The Family Nurse Partnership (FNP) programme which was set up by the Department of Health for first time mothers aged 20 and below. It offers intensive and structured home visiting, delivered by specially trained nurses, from early pregnancy until the child is two. FNP supervisor Anne Lynch says: “The FNP is a very flexible programme. We don’t tell people what to do; we facilitate and find out what the parents want.” The FNP is based in Mile End. To book an appointment or for further information, call 0208 223 8601.

7


Just

FRIENDS rëì~ääóI=ïÜÉå=óçì=ëÉÉ=~=Äçó=~åÇ=Öáêä=ï~äâáåÖ=Ççïå=íÜÉ=ëíêÉÉí=óçìÛêÉ=äáâÉäó=íç íÜáåâ=íÜÉóÛêÉ=~=ÅçìéäÉK=_ìí=íÜ~íÛë=åçí=åÉÅÉëë~êáäó=íÜÉ=Å~ëÉK=qÜÉëÉ=Ñçìê=ëÉíë=çÑ ÑêáÉåÇë=íÉää=ìë=çÑ=íÜÉáê=ÉñéÉêáÉåÅÉë=çÑ=Ü~îáåÖ=~=ÄçóLÖáêä=íÜ~í=áë=~=ÑêáÉåÇ=~åÇ=åçí ~=ÄçóÑêáÉåÇLÖáêäÑêáÉåÇK Have you ever fancied each other? Rebecca and Daniel: Yeah. Rebecca: In year 8 a little bit and year 9 a little bit.

Do people often mistake you for boyfriend and girlfriend? Rebecca and Daniel: Yeah. Rebecca: Definitely. Occasionally but a lot of people ask in school.

What are the pros and cons of having a best friend that is the opposite sex? Daniel: The cons would be that people always assume that we’re more than just friends. Daniel d n a a Rebecca: You’ve got someone that can listen to you and always be there for you. c c Rebe ur years Obviously, there are other friends but you’ve always got that one that will be o F : r o f Friends there for you. And there are boundaries; when we started liking each other we knew there were boundaries because we didn’t want to hurt our friendship. The cons are that you get judged very quickly for being boyfriend and girlfriend.

8

How do you see your future together? Rebecca: Bright! Daniel: I think we could still be friends in the future. Rebecca: We’ve always been there for each other and we help each other with work ‘coz we’re in the same sets in some lessons.


Have you ever fancied each other? Jane: No.

Do people often mistake you for boyfriend and girlfriend? Jane: No.

What are the pros and cons of having a best friend that is the opposite sex? Jane: The best part of having a boy as your best friend is that they’re not as moody. With Amari, I could talk to him about anything even if it is girly stuff. I can talk to him about anything really. Amari: I find boys immature and she’s mature, she’s grown up. Jane: Not all girls are moody by the way. I just had to say that. Jane: There are no cons. I think you find that you argue less as well. Girls have i r a m their little arguments. Not all the time but sometimes. I’ve never had an argument A d Jane an r: Two years with Amari. fo

Friends

How do you see your future together? Amari: Close friends. Jane: Yeah, close friends. I think so. Amari: Yeah.

Have you ever fancied each other? Gemma and Brandon: No.

Do people often mistake you for boyfriend and girlfriend? Gemma: Yeah. You get the odd person that will mention it and you’re like, “No!” We don’t like each other like that.

What are the pros and cons of having a best friend that is the Gemm opposite sex? a Frien and Bra Brandon: You get into the mind of a girl and understand them a bit more. ds fo n Gemma: We’ve always got along. Brandon’s not the ‘typical’ boy; he’s r: Fo don ur ye interested in things like English and books and things like that which ‘typical’ ars teenage boys aren’t interested in. So it’s nice to know there are some boys out there who aren’t always the same. Brandon and I get on really well. The negative side is that they probably don’t always understand you. How do you see your future together? Gemma: It depends. After we leave school I hope that we stay in touch and we won’t lose our friendship Brandon: Hopefully we’ll be in the same sixth form or college. Have you ever fancied each other? Sandra: No.

Do people often mistake you for boyfriend and girlfriend? Jack: Yes. I wouldn’t say a lot of people do, but a few.

What are the pros and cons of having a best friend that is the opposite sex? Jack: I guess I can get opinions on things rather than just boy’s opinions, girls are friendlier than boys and she’s very, very nice. The cons would be that she can be a bit annoying. Sandra: The pros are that he’s very nice and very easy to talk to and I like confiding in him.

How do you see your future together? Sandra: He’ll be on my speed dial. Jack: Yeah, we’ll be friends for a long time.

Sand r Frien a and Ja ck ds fo r: Fo ur

year s

9


SEX Let’s talk about

!

fÑ=óçìÛêÉ=íçç=ëÅ~êÉÇ=çê= ÉãÄ~êê~ëëÉÇ=íç=~ëâ= ÇçÅíçêëI=é~êÉåíë=çê=ÑêáÉåÇë ~Äçìí=ëÉñì~ä=ÜÉ~äíÜI=ÇçåÛí ïçêêó>=fÛîÉ=ëÉ~êÅÜÉÇ=íç ÑáåÇ=~åëïÉêë=íç=~ää=ëçêíë=çÑ ÇáäÉãã~ë=ëçãÉ=ëÉñì~ääó ~ÅíáîÉ=óçìåÖ=éÉçéäÉ=Ñ~ÅÉ ÉîÉêó=Ç~óK=

iáäó=pçìíÜáå=ÑáåÇë=íÜÉ=~åëïÉêë=íç=èìÉëíáçåë= íÜ~í=Öáêäë=~êÉ=íçç=~Ñê~áÇ=íç=~ëâK

10


Can I get pregnant the first time I have sex?

Yes, absolutely if you are having straight sex. Every time you have sex you run the risk of getting pregnant, that is why using protection is so important. What is meant by ‘penetration’?

Penetration means when something enters or ‘penetrates’ something else. In sex it is often used to describe when the penis enters the vagina or the anus.

I’m not ready to have a baby and I’m currently having sex, at what age do I have to start using birth control? This is not a matter of age – you can use any form of birth control or contraception (for example a condom). If you are sexually active and don’t want to have a baby, you should speak to a health professional like your local GP about the options available to you. However, not all forms of birth control offer STI protection.

If a guy ejaculates near a girl’s privates [genital area] but not inside her or ejaculates on her underwear can she get pregnant?

Anytime sperm gets anywhere near a girl’s privates she can become pregnant. Pregnancy is less likely to occur under these circumstances but it is possible.

Can I get pregnant from giving or getting oral sex?

No, but you could still get an STI.

Is there a position we can have sex in that will guarantee I won’t get pregnant?

No. You can get pregnant from every possible sexual position that involves genital-to-genital or genital-near-genital contact. Is it true that you can’t get pregnant if you have sex in water?

No. Water is not a form of birth

control. You can still just as easily get pregnant. If I have sex on my period am I safe from pregnancy? No, pregnancy can occur anytime. Are two condoms better than one for protection from pregnancy/STIs?

No, two condoms offer LESS protection as the friction between them makes breakage more likely.

If I’m on the pill am I protected against STIs? No. The pill ONLY protects against pregnancy. Are birth control pills dangerous?

The birth control pill is safe for nearly all young women and very effective in preventing pregnancy. Most girls who take the ‘Pill’ have few or no serious side effects. Does your first time hurt?

First time sex can be painful, as the penis entering the vagina can stretch or tear the hymen. Not all girls have hymens (they may have been born without one or may have broken it through sport or inserting tampons) but if they do and it tears, a girl may bleed a little. Is there a ‘safe’ time to have sexual intercourse?

There is a “safe” time to have sexual intercourse and not get pregnant if you are using the rhythmic method. But it can be difficult to predict when this is especially for young girls just entering puberty. There is always a possibility of catching an STI. My boyfriend and I have only had sex twice, but when we do, I bleed afterward. Is this normal?

If bleeding happens when you’ve already had sex before, it may be from irritation or scratching (like from fingernails) or some further tearing of the hymen. But bleeding can also be from a sexually transmitted

infection (STI) or other medical problem. If the bleeding continues to happen or if you have any other unexpected symptoms, see a doctor.

I'm 15 years old and I've been sexually active for two years now, and I haven't told my parents. How do I tell my parents I have an STI?

The vast majority of GUM (Genito-Urinary Medicine) /Sexual Health clinics have counsellors with experience in helping young people break the news and can help you figure out the best way for you to share the news with your parents - that is if you want too. If you are over 16, it is completely up to you whether you choose to. If you are under 16 and meet the Fraser competency guidelines (i.e. the health professional feels that you are mature enough to make decisions) you may not have to tell them at all. If I am planning on having sex, should I bring a condom, or should I expect him to have one?

It’s a good idea to keep a condom in your purse, just in case he isn’t packing. You should be responsible for your own protection! I am attracted to both girls and boys and I feel confused about my sexuality. Is that normal?

It is normal to be attracted to people of the same sex. During puberty, many young people have emotions and sexual feelings for people of the same sex and may feel confused. However as time goes by, they usually have a preference for either the opposite sex, same sex or both and will identify themselves as either straight, lesbian, gay or bisexual. Everyone has a right to their express their sexuality without being discriminated against.

If you would like to discuss your sexuality with someone you could contact Step forward on 020 7739 3082

11


YOUNG PEOPLE’S DROP INS

cêÉÉ=ÅçåÑáÇÉåíá~ä=~ÇîáÅÉ=~åÇ=áåÑçêã~íáçå

`çåíê~ÅÉéíáçåI=éêÉÖå~åÅó=íÉëíëI=`Üä~ãóÇá~I=dçåçêêÜçÉ~=~åÇ=efs=íÉëíáåÖ= léÉå=íç=~ää=óçìåÖ=éÉçéäÉ=OR=~åÇ=ìåÇÉê= Options Wellington Way Health Centre 1a Wellington Way Bow Road, London E3 4NE Ph: 020 8980 3510 TXT: 07781 471 028 Thurs 4:30 – 6:30pm

Options Step Forward 234 Bethnal Green Rd London, E2 0AA info@stepforward-web.org www.stepforward-web.org Ph: 020 7739 3082 TXT: 07781 471 028 Mon 3:00 – 7:00 pm

kç=~ééçáåíãÉåí=åÉÉÇÉÇ

Options Sylvia Pankhurst Centre Mile End Hospital 3rd Floor, Bancroft Road, London E1 4DG Ph: 020 7377 7870 TXT: 07781 471 028

Options Tower Hamlets College Poplar Site Poplar High Street London, E14 0AF Ph: 0208 223 8322 TXT: 07781 471 028 Weds 12.00 – 2:00pm (term time only) Sat 10:00am–12:00pm Weds 3:00 – 5:00 pm

FR E E

Tel: 020 7377 7307

No appointment ne ssary, just ce walk in

d friendly an l confidentia 5s Under 2 – t ca n te x

07813 698028

Sexual Health Service Ambrose King Centre The Royal London Hospital Turner Street E1 1BB

Opening times:

Opening times:

Monday 9am - 6pm Monday 9am – 6pm Tuesday 9am - 3pm Tuesday3.30pm 9am ––3pm; Tuesday 5.30pm (under 21 years only) 3.30pm5.30 – 5.30pm (under(E1, 21 gay years only) Tuesday pm - 8.00pm men) Wednesday12pm 12pm – 4pm Wednesday – 4pm Thursday9am 9am – 4pm Thursday – 4pm Friday9am 9am– –3pm 3pm Friday Saturday9.30am 9.30am – 12.30pm Saturday – 12.30pm

(no textslot slotonly: only: (nowalk-in, walk in, text seesee www.bartsandthelondon.nhs.uk/sexualhealth) www.bartsandthelondon.nhs.uk/sexualhealth)

For more information call

NHS Direct 0845 4647

Tel: 020 7377 7870

Sexual Health Service Tower Hamlets Contraception and Sexual Health

Mile End Hospital Bancroft Road E1 4DG

Open times: Opening times: Monday MondaytotoThursday Thursday 12pm 12pm –– 8pm 8pm Friday Friday 9.30am 9.30am –– 5.30pm 5.30pm Saturday Saturday 10am 10am –– 12pm 12pm

(Young Service– –25 25years years and under) (YoungPerson’s Person’s Service and under)

121 Westferry Road E14 8JH

Sexual Health Service The Barkantine Centre

Open times:

Opening times: Monday, Wednesday, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, 5pm – 8pm Thursday, Friday 5pm – 8pm

www.barkantine.nhs.uk

Tel: 020 7791 8080

www.towerhamlets.nhs.uk/sexualhealth

Free condoms available at all clinics or to buy discounted condoms go to www.freedoms-shop.nhs.uk


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