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Married on a shoestring budget Derek Hann dshann@havredailynews.com The most important thing about getting married is understanding your significant other’s idea of the wedding. Some people want to get married in the courthouse, some want to have a simple nonreligious wedding, some want to have the classic church and reception wedding and the list goes on. One isn’t necessarily better than the other, it just depends on what the bride and groom want for their special day. And that’s just it, what the bride and groom want, not what the parents want, necessarily, or what is expected. If you are considering tying the knot you should do it the way that you imagined it. My wife, Jessica, and I decided early on we wanted to have a small, simple wedding. We had just bought a house and had our first kid,

so the simpler the better. Getting engaged: The first step I proposed to Jessica a few months after we first started dating. We were in college and I had very, very little money. So I decided to stop at a gas station on my way back from Missoula, put a quarter into one of those toy machines and get, literally, a toy ring. Jessica thought it was great and I promised her that when we were able to afford a more expensive ring I would jump at the chance. Some girls might not like that kind of thing, but I knew my partner would find it great. Before anyone can really start planning a wedding, they should focus on the engagement, and just like the wedding itself, it all depends on the couple. When we were able to afford a “proper”

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Where to go for your wedding clothes

Pam Burke community@havredailynews.com For the bride and groom who want to keep things local — even in that crucial element of the attire for themselves and their wedding party — two Havre stores offer a variety of choices that can fit any budget. Montana Country Boutique, which recently moved to its new, larger, location at 205 Third Ave., carries formal and semi-formal dresses for bridesmaids and the women of the family, owner Tera Verploegen said, adding that the store is a source for wedding gowns, as well. “We have bridesmaid dresses and a couple flower girl dresses,” Verploegen said, “but we also do special order … and we can special order gowns, as well.” The bridal gowns, she added, can be ordered from a variety of sources her store has access to. Some, she said, can ship dresses in a week, but other suppliers can take as much as six months to a year. The sooner a bride comes in to find a dress, the more choices she’ll have, Verploegen said. “We’ve carried a few (wedding) dresses on-hand before, but we’re just a small enough community that we don’t carry a big variety,” she said. “If girls know what they’re looking for, they can always come in

and we can look at what we can get, and then we size them and order them.” If bridesmaid dresses need to be ordered, she said, most of her wholesale sources can ship with a three-month lead time, but a few require up to six months. The formal dresses she keeps on hand are priced from about $65 to $150, she said. “We try and keep it as affordable as possible,” she said. “There is more expensive ones than that but the companies we work with, we try to keep it less expensive.” She said she also can help by coming in after hours or on weekends to fit the bride’s schedule and providing referrals to experienced seamstresses. Verploegen added that people can contact her at the store or on Facebook. For the men Cavalier’s for Men & Women owner Joe Ross said he carries some semi-formal clothing in the store and has an wide range of tuxedo rentals for any formal occasion. “We prefer for weddings to work a month in advance because styles do rent out if they’re a popular style,” Ross said, adding that, no matter the style, they have a twoweek minimum order time because the tuxes have to be shipped from California and arrive before the wedding or other

event. Ross said that his tuxedo service center serves the whole western states region from Montana to Arizona and west to the coastal states. “The nice thing is there’s tuxedos that will pretty much fit any budget,” he added, “so it doesn’t have to be super expensive. It’s kind of like buying a car, the more you add to it or the more fashionable it is, the more expensive it is.” Prices he said generally run about $100 to $200 depending on style and added features, including shoes. The suits arrive at the store on the Monday or Tuesday before the wedding, and they’ll do final measurements and fitting, Ross said, then the suits are due back the day after the wedding. “It’s a pretty easy process,” he said, even if some of the wedding party lives out of town. “A lot of wedding parties, if they don’t have everybody in town here,” he said, “if they can go get measured somewhere else at a tuxedo shop and they send us those measurements, we can put the order together and make sure it all works.” People also can shop for tuxedos on the store’s website http://www.cavaliersclothing.com where they’ll find the entire catalog of rental wear online, he said, including

sizes from 3T for toddlers up to 66 men. This is especially helpful for people living in the more remote parts of the area, or who are involved in the wedding from out of town He said the store has had weddings from as far away as Glasgow, and the tuxedos can be drop-shipped to these distant location, then the customers just have to returnship the suits the day after the wedding. Though Cavalier’s carries women’s wear, the store doesn’t carry any formal or semiformal dresses suitable for wedding attire, preferring, he said, to let Verploegen take care of that. Cavalier’s regularly sends a book with swatches to Montana Country Boutique, he added, to help match the tuxedos to the dresses. Styles Verploegen said that the brides coming into her store have been looking for simpler dresses than have been in style in past years, with “a lot of country lace.” Ross said tux styles have gone to a slimmer look. It’s the fabrics that set today’s suits apart from past styles, he added, with stretch fabrics to improve comfort in movement and Cool Max fabrics to help keep the men cooler in the summer and fall weddings.

Ring: Custom rings are easier when working with local jewelers ■ Continued from page 9 “The cut makes a difference because if the stone has a real good cut the light will enter and bounce out and leave the top of the stone and look more brilliant,” she added. “On more shallow cuts or deeper cuts, the stone loses some of the light to the bottom of the stone.” The process of light entering the diamond and bouncing back out is called scintillation,

Courtesy photo Jessica Hann and Derek Hann read their vows in front of Deacan Tim Maroney in St. Jude Thaddeus church during their wedding ceremony, Oct. 27.

Leibel said. She said the halo setting has been a popular style recently. The halo setting is where the diamond is surrounded by other small diamonds and tends to make the center stone look bigger, she added. Liebel said Heirloom does have an exchange if the customer isn’t completely satisfied with their ring and will work with them

as much as they can. One of the benefits of shopping local is that customers can actually see and handle the type of ring they are considering, Leibel said. She added that she thinks they have a better selection of rings than most online retailers. “We tend to take a little bit more time with our clients,” Donoven said. “I like to make

sure my clients are educated in the process of purchasing diamonds… so they actually understand what they’re purchasing.” Donoven said likes the romance and the excitement and the story about how the couple met each other “is the most rewarding part about what we do.” “Our clients do become like family to us,” she added.


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After the Wedding Checklist o Return all rented tuxedos. o Return all rented equipment. o Return all borrowed accessories. o Write thank-you cards. o Preserve your bridal bouquet. o Send your wedding gown to the cleaners and have it sealed in a vacuum bag or box. o Decide on filing taxes jointly or separately, and update your tax forms at work.

o Add your spouse to your employer's health insurance. o Make your spouse the beneficiary of any retirement and 401(k) plans. o Purchase life insurance. o Start financial planning and consider meeting with an accountant and financial advisor for strategies that fit your goals as a married couple.

Name Change Check List o SOCIAL SECURITY CARD o DRIVER'S LICENSE o PASSPORT o BANK ACCOUNTS o CREDIT CARDS o SAFE DEPOSIT BOX o INVESTMENTS o LOANS o WILL o PROPERTY TITLES o UTILITY COMPANIES

o POST OFFICE o MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS o CAR REGISTRATION o INSURANCE POLICIES o VOTER REGISTRATION o DOCTORS o DENTIST o EMPLOYEE RECORDS o SCHOOL RECORDS o CLUB MEMBERSHIPS o ANYONE WHO BILLS YOU

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How to Publish Your

Engagement & Wedding Announcement In The Havre Daily News

Use this guide to help you format your announcement to be published on Fridays in the Havre Daily News Community section. Deadline is 2:30 p.m. on Wednesday, prior to the requested Friday publication.

Engagement announcement suggested content: Full name of bride-to-be and groom-to-be, bride's parents' names and city, groom's parents' names and city, bride's education and year(s) of graduation, bride's employment and city, groom's education and year(s) of graduation, groom's employment and city, wedding date and location, couple's future home city.

Wedding announcement suggested content: Full maiden name of bride, full name of groom, noting if the bride is keeping her maiden name; wedding date, time and location; bride's and groom's parents' names and city; first and last name and title of officiant; name and city of maid or matron of honor, of best man; name and city of bridesmaids and groomsmen, flower girl, ringbearer, candlelighters, ushers and musicians; location of reception and hosts; bride's and groom's education and year(s) of graduation; bride's and groom's employer and city; honeymoon location; and couple's new home city.

Call 406-265-6795 with any questions or for more info. You may submit your photo and announcement these ways: Deliver in person: 119 Second Street, Havre, MT 59501 Email: smantle@havredailynews.com Mail: P.O. Box 431, Havre, MT 59501 Fax: 406-265-6798

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How to file for a marriage in Montana

By Tim Leeds, Havre Daily News

One part of the often-lengthy planning in holding a wedding has fairly simple requirements in Montana: to receive a marriage license, people need to fill out an application with a clerk of District Court in the state, swear the information is true, pay the $53 fee and either have a blood test completed or sign a waiver of that requirement, then get married within six months. Same-sex marriages have been legal in the state of Montana since 2014. The requirements are still all the same. On the state application, everything is gender neutral and now refers to applicants as spouse 1 and spouse 2. While people in Montana can have a common-law marriage, going through the official steps can save some trouble later on. Common-law marriages result from actions of a couple — typically living together as husband and wife while of legal age and not being legally married to someone else — holding themselves forth as a married couple and having an agreement to be married, says a brochure by Montana Legal Services Association. But common-law marriages

have been known to cause troubles with applying for or receiving insurance or Social Security benefits and other issues because of a lack of a license to prove a marriage exists. In Montana, people also can be married without a ceremony by filing a written declaration of marriage with a clerk of court. Even that could cause problems depending on whether it would be recognized under rules in other states, including by insurance companies. The requirements in Montana to apply for a marriage license are fairly simple and straightforward. Residents of the state don’t even have to apply for marriage in the county where the ceremony will be performed. A license issued in Hill County, for example, can be used in any Montana county. If one person is a nonresident, that person’s section of the application may be completed before an official authorized to accept such applications in the county and state where the party resides, the law states. The application is fairly simple, requiring information including the names of the parties, their resi-

dence and address, names of the parents and their birthplaces, race, education and information about any previous marriage and its termination. The participants are required to swear under oath that the information provided is true, and state law specifies that the parties must pay the filing fee. The law requires that the parties applying provide satisfactory proof that they will be at least 18 years old when the license is issued, or will be 16 and have judicial approval of the marriage, generally with the consent of the parties’ parents. The parties must also be able to provide proof that their marriage is not prohibited under state law, such as a marriage between first cousins or an uncle and a niece. Montana law does specify that any female applicant applying for a marriage license must submit a blood test confirming immunity to rubella, but also allows the parties of the marriage to request a waiver of the requirement after reading information about the need to ensure rubella immunity to protect any children conceived. Infection of a woman with the rubella virus

during early pregnancy can lead to complications with the pregnancy or a variety of congenital defects, the waiver reads. The waivers are available at the time of application. The marriage must take place within 180 days of the application being completed, though there is no waiting period before the ceremony can take place. Once the marriage is completed and the license issued, it is kept on record both in the county where it was filed and on the state level. Another issue people might need to remember is taken care of after the marriage: making sure any

name changes are on record. If a name is changed due to marriage — such as the woman taking the family name of the husband — it is important that the change is recorded by any agencies or entities that need to know. That would include the Social Security Administration, for recording income and issuing benefits; insurance companies; bank and other financial accounts including mortgages, and making sure names — and addresses — are correct on driver’s licenses, passports and other identification, as well as any other documents or entities that require a name to be on file.


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Shoestring: Roll with the punches, hope for the best, plan for the worst ■ Continued from page 2 engagement ring, I started by looking around. I knew the old saying that the engagement ring should be three months, salary, but with our budget that was not a possibility. I remember browsing around looking for the perfect ring. I went to Heirloom Jewelers and J.M. Donoven Designs in Fine Jewelry, seeing what was locally available. They both had nice options that were around where my budget was for the ring, but I ended up finding a ring on Etsy.com that was more what Jessica was looking for. My wife didn’t want the classic diamond and gold band ring, she also didn’t want a whole bunch of other gems. Over the months that we were dating before I proposed I asked her what her favorite gem was and tried my best to find something that fit her, something I knew she would say yes to. I composed a list of rings that I thought she would like, taking picture of the ones in the jewelry stores as well as what I found online. On the list I had rings with moonstones, pearls, emeralds and various other gems I thought that she would like, we ended up picking an emerald ring with a white gold band that was made by a jeweler in Israel. That was one of the best parts, for us, about picking out the engagement ring was that we did it together. Some people might like the surprise of the moment, but I found with something like that — something she would be wearing for the rest of her life — it’s better to make sure it’s something she’s going to like. For the wedding my wife and I purchased wedding bands from Heirloom Jewelers. The

sales person there was very happy to help us, and the jeweler went above and beyond making sure that my wife’s band actually fit together with her engagement ring. Even the week after the wedding, I asked them to widen my ring because it fitting a little tight around my finger. The jeweler once again was happy to make the alteration and did it free of charge. After the engagement, we didn’t have any parties or anything but we did start planning the wedding. The original date we wanted was the fall of that year, but a few months after the engagement we found that we were pregnant. Priorities changed and the wedding ended up on the back burner for the following months. Life isn’t always clean-cut, and hardly ever goes exactly to plan, and the best advice I have is to roll with the punches, hope for the best and plan for the worst. As long as your partner and you communicate, mountains quickly turn to mole hills. After our daughter was born we got back to planning the wedding. There were so many things that we needed to start doing, it felt like we were almost drowning with the amount of work that needed to be done. Planning the wedding The internet was a great source for us to find checklists for things needed for the wedding. My wife, the real superstar of this part of the process, worked for hours trying to figure out every detail for our big day. Jessica was never one of those people who sat around as a kid and planned out her wed-

ding — she told me when we first started dating. However, she is a planner, one of those people who loves making lists and creating schedules to follow. One of the wedding checklists she found was on Pinterest, a great resource for do-ityourself projects and other stuff you can imagine. We ended up using this site a lot while planning the wedding. First thing on the list was to start a wedding folder, to help keep everything together and organized in one place, so details aren’t lost or forgotten. My wife ended up having a wedding folder as well as a notebook where she worked on the finances of the whole thing. We worked on figuring out a budget for months, and, honestly, budgets are very important but make them very general. I found that getting too specific causes much more stress. Using round, whole numbers was my best friend during this because it is easy to find things in that range, easy to figure out how much you both are willing to spend and easy to remember. Also, with our budget we relied heavily on our family, from both sides, who helped immensely with paying for the whole ceremony. Next on the checklist, we needed to pick out our wedding party. This was a great relief after planning the budget — money being a very stressful thing to talk about for most people. I suggest this for any couple planning out their big day, mix high-stress parts of the list with fun, light-hearted ones. It will give you a

break from tearing out your own hair, or even each other’s, and give you both something fun to talk about. My wife’s wedding party consisted of her aunt as maid of honor and a close friend and two of her sisters as bridesmaids. She told me she picked people she knew were, first, important to her and, second, would help her keep calm throughout the week leading up to the wedding. My wedding party consisted of my best friend as best man and two close friends and my little brother as groomsmen. I picked my groomsmen from different points of my life. My best man is the godfather of my daughter and is family to my wife and me. The two other close friends were some of my best friends growing up and they helped me get to where I am today. My little brother, although this might not be the case for everyone, was my first and original best friend. For the flower girls and the ring bearer we split it down the middle. She picked the flower girls, her younger sisters, and I chose the ring bearer, a family friend’s son whom I’ve known since he was a little kid. Family is important, whether they are blood or not, and a wedding should be something that is shared with everyone that helped get you to that point. That idea extends to the guest list. We had an odd time with making a guest list due to the majority of my family being on the east and west coasts, nowhere near Havre. This made it difficult to figure out so many different things because we diddn’t know how many people to

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at the post office must have seen it on my face because before I walked away, tail between my legs, he said that other people have been receiving their passports approximately 20 days after they applied. Lo and behold, he was right. A little more than two weeks after the wedding my passport arrived. That following week my wife and I left for Cancun. Let me tell you that Cancun is a great place to go for a honeymoon, especially if you live in the snowy, subzero climate of Havre. A wedding is a big, stressful thing and something is bound to be forgotten, just don’t let it be your passport if you’re planning to leave the country. Another thing we forgot, actually something my wife and I didn’t even think about, was the marriage license. We understood that we needed to get one but we thought that was something we would be getting from the deacon. Deacon Maroney called my wife a day before our wedding letting her know that he still had not received our wedding license application. Our jaws hit the floor. It was one of those, “Oh my God,” moments. We jumped into our shoes, grabbed our daughter and drove straight

THE BRIDAL GUIDE to the courthouse. When we got there the woman in the Hill County Public Records Department was very kind and understanding. She worked with us and made sure that we left that day with an application. The only issue was that when the woman asked me about my father’s place of origin I said, “Korea.” I said this assuming that South Korea was obvious but, lo and behold, on the first application printed, next to my father’s name the birth place read North Korea. I thought this was the funniest thing in the world. The woman of course corrected the error and I apologized for not specifying which Korea my father was from, but I was laughing for the rest of the day. So moral of the story, don’t be afraid to ask people questions and don’t unknowingly accuse your father of being a communist. Seriously though, if you don’t know something, just ask. People understand marriage is stressful and difficult and they are usually happy to answer your questions. If you don’t ask, they will never know that you didn’t understand something. The last thing is this: During the ceremony, I had to repeat after the deacon all the different vows and promises. My wife had just finished

saying her vows and I was in such shock and awe with how beautiful my wife was and how happy I was to be with her, I completely blacked out and failed to hear what the deacon was saying. I was just standing there smiling a silly stupid grin wondering why he kept on looking at me. Then it hit me, I was supposed to say something. I politely asked him to repeat the line and he did, the rest of my ceremony went without a problem, but my wife kept giggling. She thought it was the funniest, cutest thing that I forgot my lines. Looking back on it I was very embarrassed at the time, but I blame my wife, if she didn’t look so breathtaking I would have heard the deacon. Final thoughts Your wedding is you and your wife’s wedding, not the groom’s, not the bride’s, not the parents’. Moving forward after the engagement, you and your partner are a team and should work on things as a team. If you try to do it alone, you will be so stressed, you won’t be able to enjoy it. Understand your partner’s wants and needs,

www.havredailynews.com and if you disagree, come to a compromise — you will need this skill for the rest of your life. Weddings are also not all about you, even though it is technically your wedding, but a celebration of how far you and your partner have come in life and how you both will be moving and growing together in the future. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. People understand the nature of weddings. Your parents or other family members have done it at least once, so don’t be afraid of asking someone. Make a checklist, put it on your phone, refrigerator, bathroom door or mirror — doesn’t matter. This list will help you remember everything you have to do. On the flip side of that, if you forget to do something, don’t worry too much, just get to it as soon as possible and hope for the best. The most important part of a wedding or a marriage is not the money, the honeymoon, the ceremony, the bachelor or bachelorette party, but that you and your significant other are happy and moving forward hand in hand. —— “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made.” — Robert Browning

Local jewelers agree, shop local for engagement ring Stephen Real sbreal@havredailynews.com The process of selecting an engagement ring can feel overwhelming with so many choices available, but two Havre jewelry store owners agree that shopping local offers many benefits. Jan Leibel of Heirloom Jewelers has owned and operated her store since 1984, operating in Glendive before opening the Havre location in 1989. Janine Donoven of J.M. Donoven Designs in Fine Jewelry opened her jewelry store in Havre in June 1995, but she has been in the diamond business since 1984. Donoven said the first step is deciding whether the groom-to-be will come in and pick out the ring on his own or if the couple will come in together and pick out the ring. Leibel said she takes the customer to the where the engagement rings are encased and get some information about the color of the metal and other details so she can determine how the stone should be set. She added that sometimes the customer has pictures of the ring that their significant other has sent them. They can also incorporate different types of stones, such as Montana sapphire, into a rings as well, Leibel said. Donoven added that they work with the customer to determine which color ring they want to choose. She said she doesn’t recommend sterling silver rings as they are softer and tend to wear out sooner. After the ring is picked out, Donoven said she determines which kind of cut of diamond the customer wants. Custom orders can be done, however, the amount of time required to complete the ring depends on the order, Leibel said. Donoven added that custom orders are pretty common and there are lots of things they can incorporate into the ring. For example, she said, if the customer has a piece of wood or antler that they want to include in the ring, they can even do that. She said the time it takes to create the

rings depends on the order, but it is typically between three to four weeks. Heirloom does sizing, repairs and ring checks all for free, Leibel said. She added that if the bride wants to solder the engagement ring to the wedding band, they will do that for free, too. She said the time it takes to size the ring varies, but she can do it in as quick as 20 minutes. Leibel said she picks out all her diamonds

and sets them all herself. “I like to control the quality of the diamond and also the quality of the setting process,” she added. Donoven said she hand-selects of her diamonds and verifies that the colors and clarities are as advertised. She added that she makes sure her diamonds are “conflict free.” A diamond is considered a conflict diamond if it is mined in a region that is in the

midst of war and the funds from the diamonds are used to fund the procurement of arms, according to robbinsbrothers.com. These diamonds are often referred to as “blood diamonds.” Determining which color and cut of diamond to use depends on the color of the ring, Leibel said.

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■ Continued from page 6 The parties Now, the bachelor party was a very interesting part of getting married that my wife and I had to decide on. Rather than doing anything big, or going to Las Vegas for a weekend, I thought it was best to have a burger barbecue at our house. It was just the groomsmen, male guests and family members at the barbecue, so still a bachelor party, but I used the time to reconnect with some old friends and get to know some of the male members of my wife’s family. Bachelor parties are a big deal for some people, and whatever you decided just remember to have fun and do something everyone is comfortable with. My wife on the other hand, decided to have a bachelorette party that focused on decorating the reception area. To my understanding, they had some wine, played some games, helped my mother with the cake and generally just had a good time. The vows Because we had a Catholic wedding we were unable to write our own vows. This was, at first, a little disappointing to me but in the end I didn’t mind it. The whole ceremony was actually very beautiful, and although my roots are not Catholic, I still found quite a bit that was great about the traditional ceremony. Deacon Maroney was very good at making sure my wife and I were prepared and had everything set up properly. He also let us know all of the different options that were available to us. For all of the readings we tried to balance it out between members of our family, parents and grandparents all getting a part in the actual ceremony. The vow I chose to read to my wife was 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, The Way of Love: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,

but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. “Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.” I thought this was a beautiful passage and even though it is from the Bible, I think it is a good lesson for anyone that is considering getting married. Another little thing that my wife and I found very nice was even though we couldn’t write our own vows for the ceremony we will write our own and read them together that night. Weddings go by very quickly and some of the best advice I ever got was to “steal seconds.” Steal little moments throughout the day between you and your partner, take mental pictures or set something aside separate from everything else, kind of like little secrets between the two of you. I found that this approach made it a little more enjoyable and memorable because, trust me, there is so much going on that it will be hard to remember after very long. Things we forgot Something that many people look forward to when it comes to the wedding is what actually follows: the honeymoon. My wife and I were so excited about the honeymoon, we planned to spend an entire week at an all-inclusive resort in Cancun, Mexico. It was so exciting thinking about the cold blue waters and the warm sandy beaches, it was something my wife and I would bring up at least once a day to each other as we approached the wedding. We had the entire thing figured out from the plane tickets to, the resort — or so we thought. I forgot to get my passport renewed. It was just one of those things that completely fell out of my head amidst everything else that was going on with the wedding. So a week before the wedding and less than

Derek and Jessica Hann’s ceter pieces for their wedding reception

Courtesy photo Derek and Jessica Hann dance their first dance during their wedding reception. a month before our trip to Cancun was scheduled, I went down to the post office to apply for a passport. The first time I went to the post office, I forgot some of the essential paperwork like my social security card. They told me I had to come back later that week and try again. I felt so bad. My wife and I both were

worried that we were not going to be able to go on our honeymoon, but I went back the second time, papers and documents in hand, and tried again. I had everything submitted, but they told me it could take up to a month to receive my passport. My heart sank to my feet. The man

actually expect for the wedding. But once again, ballpark numbers, roughly estimating the number of people to attend helps to at least plan the venue size and the amount of food you’ll be needing. Now, reserving dates and venues are important, my wife and I actually started doing this long before anything else. Originally we talked about having an outdoor wedding. Like a park or in the Bear Paw Mountains somewhere — Montana is great and a beautiful place for outdoor events. But we decided eventually to get married in St. Jude Thaddeus Church because my wife’s family is Catholic. This came with a bunch of other details such as premarital counseling, but, honestly, this was great for us. Deacon Tim Maroney is a great man to work with. If anyone is thinking about having a Catholic wedding, I would suggest speaking to him. I would also suggest the premarital counseling, even if you are not getting married Catholic. Many other churches and organizations offer this kind of counseling, I found it helped us get a deeper understanding of each other and helped us work out plans for our

Courtesy photo

lives in the future. Counseling doesn’t always have to be a bad thing, and in the case of your wedding, I think it is best to have the deepest understanding you can have of your partner. Maroney even ended up conducting the ceremony for our wedding, which was important to me that the person who was marrying us was someone I respected and had a relationship with. Something that many different couples invest a lot of money in is the photographer and/or videographer. Jessica and I met with a few photographers in town, we liked their work and a few were very willing to work with us on our tight budget, which I appreciated, although, in the end we chose to go an alternative route. Many different couples also have friends or family members who are amateur or even professional photographers. This was something my wife and I considered for a long time. Our thinking was that, family or friends are willing to work with you a little more than a professional would, plus you’re usually already invit-

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■ Continued from page 5 ing them to the wedding, so win-win, right? Because the majority of people have smartphones, my wife and I decided that everyone who wanted to could take photos of the wedding. After the wedding, we had people send us the photos and ended up having an entire photo journal’s worth from the day. Also, something that we tried was getting a disposable camera for every table during the reception. That way everyone could have a chance to take photos of the event — although these cameras ended up in the hands of many of the kids at the reception. Regardless, we got some fun candid photos. Reception Some people for their wedding reception worry a lot about the entertainment and I wish we had invested a little more in the entertainment for our reception. We ended up plugging my little brother’s phone into the speaker system and playing a music setlist from Spotify. This was a nice mix of music and we were able to dance and everything. We also had different games set up for the reception for everyone to play. These games were a mixture of trivia type games and easy simple games for all ages, such as tic-tac-toe. I have to give my wife and her family full credit for the reception. They all helped to put the whole thing together and to make it fun and memorable. The decorations were simple, but they put so much personal work into each thing that it made the whole reception feel welcoming. Jessica, in fact, got most of the decorations for the reception from the Dollar Tree, Salvation Army and The Helping Haven. She got simple items, found some ideas off Pinterest and was able to make centerpieces and other decorations from what we had available. Also, instead of asking for wedding presents from some of our family members we asked them to help pitch in for the wedding and reception. This ended up being a lifesaver and made the day much less stressful. Some people don’t like to ask for money, and in a way we didn’t, we asked for their help. I think one of the best parts of a wedding is watching two different worlds come together — families who have never spent much time together, working hand-in-hand toward a com- Jessica and Derek Hann’s wedding cake made by mon goal. wed couple’s wedding reception. Some of the details One of the things I was worried the regardless. most about before the wedding was purchasing After looking around online and at a few my wife’s wedding dress. This can be stressful options that were available in town she ended for both people in the relationship. Wedding up finding one on Facebook’s Havre Online dresses are usually very expensive and they Yard Sale — another great source for a variety are the last thing you want to go wrong. We had a few hangups with finding the dress and of nice things on a budget. Jessica was able to getting it fitted properly. We looked at a few get the dress she wanted for less than $300. We did have to hem the dress, though, due to the options and my wife thought carefully about long train, which was an entire ordeal in itself. what style she wanted to get. Our wedding was We had trouble finding a seamstress in town so in October so the weather could have been we ended up having a family friend do it for below freezing or a temperate fall day, and because of this my wife thought she would like us. a long sleeved dress, so she could stay warm Lucky me, being the groom, my wedding

thing, didn’t mortgage the house or anything extreme like that, and that didn’t make the day any less special. What I remember the most about that moment was not how much everything cost but that she looked absolutely beautiful and was happy. There is nothing wrong with spending a little more on the dress or suits, but in the end it’s the person underneath the clothes that matters the most. Jessica and I registered our wedding on Amazon.com. People can register at many different places, but we thought the site had a good mix of everything, from important items for the kitchen to toys for our daughter, plus it gave people from all across the country the opportunity to see our gift registry if they wanted to get us something. Like I said earlier, some of our guests already gave us a gift in helping play for parts of the wedding, such as the reception space. Catering is another odd thing my wife and I decided to do ourselves. We looked at a couple of places in town that do catering, such as Wolfer’s Diner, Boxcars Restaurant and Bar and a few businesses online, but ended up wanting a potluck dinner. We had friends and guests all bring a side dish and my mother-in-law brought the main course, pulled pork. This ended up being a lot of food for everyone. Wasn’t fancy, but it was fun. Another thing we ended up doing that saved us money, but also made the day more special was having my mother make our wedding cake. I remember as a kid, even though my mother was never a baker, she loved making themed cakes for birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, the list goes on. I let my mother do what she wanted with the cake, too, this let her get creative with it and make it more personal than any other baker could. She even got a wedding topper based on Pixar’s “Up.” Something that we decided on was to have a non-alcoholic reception because not everyone in our families is able to drink. Of course, not everybody hosting a wedding needs to go this route. We thought about having an open bar or even a cash-only bar, but in the end it was better that everyone was able to be included in the special day. My wife also had her family to do her Courtesy photo hair and makeup. She and her family Gayl Hann, Derek Hann’s mother, for the newlywatched a few videos on YouTube about how to apply the makeup just the way she wanted. tux was easy enough to come by. My best man Because some people were not going and I thought about going to Missoula and to being able to attend until the day of the wedding we also decided against a rehearsal dinGreat Falls to find a suit or a tuxedo but we ner, instead having a family and friend breakended up renting from right here in town. Cavalier’s ended up being a great choice. They fast the morning of the wedding. It meant a lot to my wife and I that our made sure that we got the style we specifically wanted and had all the fixings to look as good family was willing to get involved, having famas possible. They had everything we needed ily around helped make very stressful things into fun lighthearted things. Whenever someright in the store and even when one of the groomsmen, my little brother, forgot his bow- thing went wrong or things were running behind schedule, our parents were right there tie they had one that was the same color availready to help. able for us to rent. We didn’t worry about the cost of every■ See Shoestring Page 8

Doug & Izhanna Verploegen ~ July 7, 2018

Just Married Derek & Jessica Hann ~ October 27th, 2018

Brandi & Hiram Williams ~ September 9th, 2018 Daughter of Brian Johnson and Nicole Legere and Son of Bonnie Ortner and Steve Williams Photo by Merry Character Photography

Tre’ & Nashae Deserly ~ June 30th, 2018


6

www.havredailynews.com THE BRIDAL GUIDE Shoestring: One of the best parts is watching families come together February 2019

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THE BRIDAL GUIDE

www.havredailynews.com

■ Continued from page 5 ing them to the wedding, so win-win, right? Because the majority of people have smartphones, my wife and I decided that everyone who wanted to could take photos of the wedding. After the wedding, we had people send us the photos and ended up having an entire photo journal’s worth from the day. Also, something that we tried was getting a disposable camera for every table during the reception. That way everyone could have a chance to take photos of the event — although these cameras ended up in the hands of many of the kids at the reception. Regardless, we got some fun candid photos. Reception Some people for their wedding reception worry a lot about the entertainment and I wish we had invested a little more in the entertainment for our reception. We ended up plugging my little brother’s phone into the speaker system and playing a music setlist from Spotify. This was a nice mix of music and we were able to dance and everything. We also had different games set up for the reception for everyone to play. These games were a mixture of trivia type games and easy simple games for all ages, such as tic-tac-toe. I have to give my wife and her family full credit for the reception. They all helped to put the whole thing together and to make it fun and memorable. The decorations were simple, but they put so much personal work into each thing that it made the whole reception feel welcoming. Jessica, in fact, got most of the decorations for the reception from the Dollar Tree, Salvation Army and The Helping Haven. She got simple items, found some ideas off Pinterest and was able to make centerpieces and other decorations from what we had available. Also, instead of asking for wedding presents from some of our family members we asked them to help pitch in for the wedding and reception. This ended up being a lifesaver and made the day much less stressful. Some people don’t like to ask for money, and in a way we didn’t, we asked for their help. I think one of the best parts of a wedding is watching two different worlds come together — families who have never spent much time together, working hand-in-hand toward a com- Jessica and Derek Hann’s wedding cake made by mon goal. wed couple’s wedding reception. Some of the details One of the things I was worried the regardless. most about before the wedding was purchasing After looking around online and at a few my wife’s wedding dress. This can be stressful options that were available in town she ended for both people in the relationship. Wedding up finding one on Facebook’s Havre Online dresses are usually very expensive and they Yard Sale — another great source for a variety are the last thing you want to go wrong. We had a few hangups with finding the dress and of nice things on a budget. Jessica was able to getting it fitted properly. We looked at a few get the dress she wanted for less than $300. We did have to hem the dress, though, due to the options and my wife thought carefully about long train, which was an entire ordeal in itself. what style she wanted to get. Our wedding was We had trouble finding a seamstress in town so in October so the weather could have been we ended up having a family friend do it for below freezing or a temperate fall day, and because of this my wife thought she would like us. a long sleeved dress, so she could stay warm Lucky me, being the groom, my wedding

thing, didn’t mortgage the house or anything extreme like that, and that didn’t make the day any less special. What I remember the most about that moment was not how much everything cost but that she looked absolutely beautiful and was happy. There is nothing wrong with spending a little more on the dress or suits, but in the end it’s the person underneath the clothes that matters the most. Jessica and I registered our wedding on Amazon.com. People can register at many different places, but we thought the site had a good mix of everything, from important items for the kitchen to toys for our daughter, plus it gave people from all across the country the opportunity to see our gift registry if they wanted to get us something. Like I said earlier, some of our guests already gave us a gift in helping play for parts of the wedding, such as the reception space. Catering is another odd thing my wife and I decided to do ourselves. We looked at a couple of places in town that do catering, such as Wolfer’s Diner, Boxcars Restaurant and Bar and a few businesses online, but ended up wanting a potluck dinner. We had friends and guests all bring a side dish and my mother-in-law brought the main course, pulled pork. This ended up being a lot of food for everyone. Wasn’t fancy, but it was fun. Another thing we ended up doing that saved us money, but also made the day more special was having my mother make our wedding cake. I remember as a kid, even though my mother was never a baker, she loved making themed cakes for birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, the list goes on. I let my mother do what she wanted with the cake, too, this let her get creative with it and make it more personal than any other baker could. She even got a wedding topper based on Pixar’s “Up.” Something that we decided on was to have a non-alcoholic reception because not everyone in our families is able to drink. Of course, not everybody hosting a wedding needs to go this route. We thought about having an open bar or even a cash-only bar, but in the end it was better that everyone was able to be included in the special day. My wife also had her family to do her Courtesy photo hair and makeup. She and her family Gayl Hann, Derek Hann’s mother, for the newlywatched a few videos on YouTube about how to apply the makeup just the way she wanted. tux was easy enough to come by. My best man Because some people were not going and I thought about going to Missoula and to being able to attend until the day of the wedding we also decided against a rehearsal dinGreat Falls to find a suit or a tuxedo but we ner, instead having a family and friend breakended up renting from right here in town. Cavalier’s ended up being a great choice. They fast the morning of the wedding. It meant a lot to my wife and I that our made sure that we got the style we specifically wanted and had all the fixings to look as good family was willing to get involved, having famas possible. They had everything we needed ily around helped make very stressful things into fun lighthearted things. Whenever someright in the store and even when one of the groomsmen, my little brother, forgot his bow- thing went wrong or things were running behind schedule, our parents were right there tie they had one that was the same color availready to help. able for us to rent. We didn’t worry about the cost of every■ See Shoestring Page 8

Doug & Izhanna Verploegen ~ July 7, 2018

Just Married Derek & Jessica Hann ~ October 27th, 2018

Brandi & Hiram Williams ~ September 9th, 2018 Daughter of Brian Johnson and Nicole Legere and Son of Bonnie Ortner and Steve Williams Photo by Merry Character Photography

Tre’ & Nashae Deserly ~ June 30th, 2018


8

THE BRIDAL GUIDE Shoestring: Family helped make the wedding special February 2019

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THE BRIDAL GUIDE

■ Continued from page 6 The parties Now, the bachelor party was a very interesting part of getting married that my wife and I had to decide on. Rather than doing anything big, or going to Las Vegas for a weekend, I thought it was best to have a burger barbecue at our house. It was just the groomsmen, male guests and family members at the barbecue, so still a bachelor party, but I used the time to reconnect with some old friends and get to know some of the male members of my wife’s family. Bachelor parties are a big deal for some people, and whatever you decided just remember to have fun and do something everyone is comfortable with. My wife on the other hand, decided to have a bachelorette party that focused on decorating the reception area. To my understanding, they had some wine, played some games, helped my mother with the cake and generally just had a good time. The vows Because we had a Catholic wedding we were unable to write our own vows. This was, at first, a little disappointing to me but in the end I didn’t mind it. The whole ceremony was actually very beautiful, and although my roots are not Catholic, I still found quite a bit that was great about the traditional ceremony. Deacon Maroney was very good at making sure my wife and I were prepared and had everything set up properly. He also let us know all of the different options that were available to us. For all of the readings we tried to balance it out between members of our family, parents and grandparents all getting a part in the actual ceremony. The vow I chose to read to my wife was 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, The Way of Love: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,

but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. “Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.” I thought this was a beautiful passage and even though it is from the Bible, I think it is a good lesson for anyone that is considering getting married. Another little thing that my wife and I found very nice was even though we couldn’t write our own vows for the ceremony we will write our own and read them together that night. Weddings go by very quickly and some of the best advice I ever got was to “steal seconds.” Steal little moments throughout the day between you and your partner, take mental pictures or set something aside separate from everything else, kind of like little secrets between the two of you. I found that this approach made it a little more enjoyable and memorable because, trust me, there is so much going on that it will be hard to remember after very long. Things we forgot Something that many people look forward to when it comes to the wedding is what actually follows: the honeymoon. My wife and I were so excited about the honeymoon, we planned to spend an entire week at an all-inclusive resort in Cancun, Mexico. It was so exciting thinking about the cold blue waters and the warm sandy beaches, it was something my wife and I would bring up at least once a day to each other as we approached the wedding. We had the entire thing figured out from the plane tickets to, the resort — or so we thought. I forgot to get my passport renewed. It was just one of those things that completely fell out of my head amidst everything else that was going on with the wedding. So a week before the wedding and less than

Derek and Jessica Hann’s ceter pieces for their wedding reception

Courtesy photo Derek and Jessica Hann dance their first dance during their wedding reception. a month before our trip to Cancun was scheduled, I went down to the post office to apply for a passport. The first time I went to the post office, I forgot some of the essential paperwork like my social security card. They told me I had to come back later that week and try again. I felt so bad. My wife and I both were

worried that we were not going to be able to go on our honeymoon, but I went back the second time, papers and documents in hand, and tried again. I had everything submitted, but they told me it could take up to a month to receive my passport. My heart sank to my feet. The man

actually expect for the wedding. But once again, ballpark numbers, roughly estimating the number of people to attend helps to at least plan the venue size and the amount of food you’ll be needing. Now, reserving dates and venues are important, my wife and I actually started doing this long before anything else. Originally we talked about having an outdoor wedding. Like a park or in the Bear Paw Mountains somewhere — Montana is great and a beautiful place for outdoor events. But we decided eventually to get married in St. Jude Thaddeus Church because my wife’s family is Catholic. This came with a bunch of other details such as premarital counseling, but, honestly, this was great for us. Deacon Tim Maroney is a great man to work with. If anyone is thinking about having a Catholic wedding, I would suggest speaking to him. I would also suggest the premarital counseling, even if you are not getting married Catholic. Many other churches and organizations offer this kind of counseling, I found it helped us get a deeper understanding of each other and helped us work out plans for our

Courtesy photo

lives in the future. Counseling doesn’t always have to be a bad thing, and in the case of your wedding, I think it is best to have the deepest understanding you can have of your partner. Maroney even ended up conducting the ceremony for our wedding, which was important to me that the person who was marrying us was someone I respected and had a relationship with. Something that many different couples invest a lot of money in is the photographer and/or videographer. Jessica and I met with a few photographers in town, we liked their work and a few were very willing to work with us on our tight budget, which I appreciated, although, in the end we chose to go an alternative route. Many different couples also have friends or family members who are amateur or even professional photographers. This was something my wife and I considered for a long time. Our thinking was that, family or friends are willing to work with you a little more than a professional would, plus you’re usually already invit-

■ See Shoestring Page 6

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Shoestring: Roll with the punches, hope for the best, plan for the worst ■ Continued from page 2 engagement ring, I started by looking around. I knew the old saying that the engagement ring should be three months, salary, but with our budget that was not a possibility. I remember browsing around looking for the perfect ring. I went to Heirloom Jewelers and J.M. Donoven Designs in Fine Jewelry, seeing what was locally available. They both had nice options that were around where my budget was for the ring, but I ended up finding a ring on Etsy.com that was more what Jessica was looking for. My wife didn’t want the classic diamond and gold band ring, she also didn’t want a whole bunch of other gems. Over the months that we were dating before I proposed I asked her what her favorite gem was and tried my best to find something that fit her, something I knew she would say yes to. I composed a list of rings that I thought she would like, taking picture of the ones in the jewelry stores as well as what I found online. On the list I had rings with moonstones, pearls, emeralds and various other gems I thought that she would like, we ended up picking an emerald ring with a white gold band that was made by a jeweler in Israel. That was one of the best parts, for us, about picking out the engagement ring was that we did it together. Some people might like the surprise of the moment, but I found with something like that — something she would be wearing for the rest of her life — it’s better to make sure it’s something she’s going to like. For the wedding my wife and I purchased wedding bands from Heirloom Jewelers. The

sales person there was very happy to help us, and the jeweler went above and beyond making sure that my wife’s band actually fit together with her engagement ring. Even the week after the wedding, I asked them to widen my ring because it fitting a little tight around my finger. The jeweler once again was happy to make the alteration and did it free of charge. After the engagement, we didn’t have any parties or anything but we did start planning the wedding. The original date we wanted was the fall of that year, but a few months after the engagement we found that we were pregnant. Priorities changed and the wedding ended up on the back burner for the following months. Life isn’t always clean-cut, and hardly ever goes exactly to plan, and the best advice I have is to roll with the punches, hope for the best and plan for the worst. As long as your partner and you communicate, mountains quickly turn to mole hills. After our daughter was born we got back to planning the wedding. There were so many things that we needed to start doing, it felt like we were almost drowning with the amount of work that needed to be done. Planning the wedding The internet was a great source for us to find checklists for things needed for the wedding. My wife, the real superstar of this part of the process, worked for hours trying to figure out every detail for our big day. Jessica was never one of those people who sat around as a kid and planned out her wed-

ding — she told me when we first started dating. However, she is a planner, one of those people who loves making lists and creating schedules to follow. One of the wedding checklists she found was on Pinterest, a great resource for do-ityourself projects and other stuff you can imagine. We ended up using this site a lot while planning the wedding. First thing on the list was to start a wedding folder, to help keep everything together and organized in one place, so details aren’t lost or forgotten. My wife ended up having a wedding folder as well as a notebook where she worked on the finances of the whole thing. We worked on figuring out a budget for months, and, honestly, budgets are very important but make them very general. I found that getting too specific causes much more stress. Using round, whole numbers was my best friend during this because it is easy to find things in that range, easy to figure out how much you both are willing to spend and easy to remember. Also, with our budget we relied heavily on our family, from both sides, who helped immensely with paying for the whole ceremony. Next on the checklist, we needed to pick out our wedding party. This was a great relief after planning the budget — money being a very stressful thing to talk about for most people. I suggest this for any couple planning out their big day, mix high-stress parts of the list with fun, light-hearted ones. It will give you a

break from tearing out your own hair, or even each other’s, and give you both something fun to talk about. My wife’s wedding party consisted of her aunt as maid of honor and a close friend and two of her sisters as bridesmaids. She told me she picked people she knew were, first, important to her and, second, would help her keep calm throughout the week leading up to the wedding. My wedding party consisted of my best friend as best man and two close friends and my little brother as groomsmen. I picked my groomsmen from different points of my life. My best man is the godfather of my daughter and is family to my wife and me. The two other close friends were some of my best friends growing up and they helped me get to where I am today. My little brother, although this might not be the case for everyone, was my first and original best friend. For the flower girls and the ring bearer we split it down the middle. She picked the flower girls, her younger sisters, and I chose the ring bearer, a family friend’s son whom I’ve known since he was a little kid. Family is important, whether they are blood or not, and a wedding should be something that is shared with everyone that helped get you to that point. That idea extends to the guest list. We had an odd time with making a guest list due to the majority of my family being on the east and west coasts, nowhere near Havre. This made it difficult to figure out so many different things because we diddn’t know how many people to

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at the post office must have seen it on my face because before I walked away, tail between my legs, he said that other people have been receiving their passports approximately 20 days after they applied. Lo and behold, he was right. A little more than two weeks after the wedding my passport arrived. That following week my wife and I left for Cancun. Let me tell you that Cancun is a great place to go for a honeymoon, especially if you live in the snowy, subzero climate of Havre. A wedding is a big, stressful thing and something is bound to be forgotten, just don’t let it be your passport if you’re planning to leave the country. Another thing we forgot, actually something my wife and I didn’t even think about, was the marriage license. We understood that we needed to get one but we thought that was something we would be getting from the deacon. Deacon Maroney called my wife a day before our wedding letting her know that he still had not received our wedding license application. Our jaws hit the floor. It was one of those, “Oh my God,” moments. We jumped into our shoes, grabbed our daughter and drove straight

THE BRIDAL GUIDE to the courthouse. When we got there the woman in the Hill County Public Records Department was very kind and understanding. She worked with us and made sure that we left that day with an application. The only issue was that when the woman asked me about my father’s place of origin I said, “Korea.” I said this assuming that South Korea was obvious but, lo and behold, on the first application printed, next to my father’s name the birth place read North Korea. I thought this was the funniest thing in the world. The woman of course corrected the error and I apologized for not specifying which Korea my father was from, but I was laughing for the rest of the day. So moral of the story, don’t be afraid to ask people questions and don’t unknowingly accuse your father of being a communist. Seriously though, if you don’t know something, just ask. People understand marriage is stressful and difficult and they are usually happy to answer your questions. If you don’t ask, they will never know that you didn’t understand something. The last thing is this: During the ceremony, I had to repeat after the deacon all the different vows and promises. My wife had just finished

saying her vows and I was in such shock and awe with how beautiful my wife was and how happy I was to be with her, I completely blacked out and failed to hear what the deacon was saying. I was just standing there smiling a silly stupid grin wondering why he kept on looking at me. Then it hit me, I was supposed to say something. I politely asked him to repeat the line and he did, the rest of my ceremony went without a problem, but my wife kept giggling. She thought it was the funniest, cutest thing that I forgot my lines. Looking back on it I was very embarrassed at the time, but I blame my wife, if she didn’t look so breathtaking I would have heard the deacon. Final thoughts Your wedding is you and your wife’s wedding, not the groom’s, not the bride’s, not the parents’. Moving forward after the engagement, you and your partner are a team and should work on things as a team. If you try to do it alone, you will be so stressed, you won’t be able to enjoy it. Understand your partner’s wants and needs,

www.havredailynews.com and if you disagree, come to a compromise — you will need this skill for the rest of your life. Weddings are also not all about you, even though it is technically your wedding, but a celebration of how far you and your partner have come in life and how you both will be moving and growing together in the future. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. People understand the nature of weddings. Your parents or other family members have done it at least once, so don’t be afraid of asking someone. Make a checklist, put it on your phone, refrigerator, bathroom door or mirror — doesn’t matter. This list will help you remember everything you have to do. On the flip side of that, if you forget to do something, don’t worry too much, just get to it as soon as possible and hope for the best. The most important part of a wedding or a marriage is not the money, the honeymoon, the ceremony, the bachelor or bachelorette party, but that you and your significant other are happy and moving forward hand in hand. —— “Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made.” — Robert Browning

Local jewelers agree, shop local for engagement ring Stephen Real sbreal@havredailynews.com The process of selecting an engagement ring can feel overwhelming with so many choices available, but two Havre jewelry store owners agree that shopping local offers many benefits. Jan Leibel of Heirloom Jewelers has owned and operated her store since 1984, operating in Glendive before opening the Havre location in 1989. Janine Donoven of J.M. Donoven Designs in Fine Jewelry opened her jewelry store in Havre in June 1995, but she has been in the diamond business since 1984. Donoven said the first step is deciding whether the groom-to-be will come in and pick out the ring on his own or if the couple will come in together and pick out the ring. Leibel said she takes the customer to the where the engagement rings are encased and get some information about the color of the metal and other details so she can determine how the stone should be set. She added that sometimes the customer has pictures of the ring that their significant other has sent them. They can also incorporate different types of stones, such as Montana sapphire, into a rings as well, Leibel said. Donoven added that they work with the customer to determine which color ring they want to choose. She said she doesn’t recommend sterling silver rings as they are softer and tend to wear out sooner. After the ring is picked out, Donoven said she determines which kind of cut of diamond the customer wants. Custom orders can be done, however, the amount of time required to complete the ring depends on the order, Leibel said. Donoven added that custom orders are pretty common and there are lots of things they can incorporate into the ring. For example, she said, if the customer has a piece of wood or antler that they want to include in the ring, they can even do that. She said the time it takes to create the

rings depends on the order, but it is typically between three to four weeks. Heirloom does sizing, repairs and ring checks all for free, Leibel said. She added that if the bride wants to solder the engagement ring to the wedding band, they will do that for free, too. She said the time it takes to size the ring varies, but she can do it in as quick as 20 minutes. Leibel said she picks out all her diamonds

and sets them all herself. “I like to control the quality of the diamond and also the quality of the setting process,” she added. Donoven said she hand-selects of her diamonds and verifies that the colors and clarities are as advertised. She added that she makes sure her diamonds are “conflict free.” A diamond is considered a conflict diamond if it is mined in a region that is in the

midst of war and the funds from the diamonds are used to fund the procurement of arms, according to robbinsbrothers.com. These diamonds are often referred to as “blood diamonds.” Determining which color and cut of diamond to use depends on the color of the ring, Leibel said.

■ See Ring Page 11


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THE BRIDAL GUIDE

After the Wedding Checklist o Return all rented tuxedos. o Return all rented equipment. o Return all borrowed accessories. o Write thank-you cards. o Preserve your bridal bouquet. o Send your wedding gown to the cleaners and have it sealed in a vacuum bag or box. o Decide on filing taxes jointly or separately, and update your tax forms at work.

o Add your spouse to your employer's health insurance. o Make your spouse the beneficiary of any retirement and 401(k) plans. o Purchase life insurance. o Start financial planning and consider meeting with an accountant and financial advisor for strategies that fit your goals as a married couple.

Name Change Check List o SOCIAL SECURITY CARD o DRIVER'S LICENSE o PASSPORT o BANK ACCOUNTS o CREDIT CARDS o SAFE DEPOSIT BOX o INVESTMENTS o LOANS o WILL o PROPERTY TITLES o UTILITY COMPANIES

o POST OFFICE o MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS o CAR REGISTRATION o INSURANCE POLICIES o VOTER REGISTRATION o DOCTORS o DENTIST o EMPLOYEE RECORDS o SCHOOL RECORDS o CLUB MEMBERSHIPS o ANYONE WHO BILLS YOU

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How to Publish Your

Engagement & Wedding Announcement In The Havre Daily News

Use this guide to help you format your announcement to be published on Fridays in the Havre Daily News Community section. Deadline is 2:30 p.m. on Wednesday, prior to the requested Friday publication.

Engagement announcement suggested content: Full name of bride-to-be and groom-to-be, bride's parents' names and city, groom's parents' names and city, bride's education and year(s) of graduation, bride's employment and city, groom's education and year(s) of graduation, groom's employment and city, wedding date and location, couple's future home city.

Wedding announcement suggested content: Full maiden name of bride, full name of groom, noting if the bride is keeping her maiden name; wedding date, time and location; bride's and groom's parents' names and city; first and last name and title of officiant; name and city of maid or matron of honor, of best man; name and city of bridesmaids and groomsmen, flower girl, ringbearer, candlelighters, ushers and musicians; location of reception and hosts; bride's and groom's education and year(s) of graduation; bride's and groom's employer and city; honeymoon location; and couple's new home city.

Call 406-265-6795 with any questions or for more info. You may submit your photo and announcement these ways: Deliver in person: 119 Second Street, Havre, MT 59501 Email: smantle@havredailynews.com Mail: P.O. Box 431, Havre, MT 59501 Fax: 406-265-6798

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February 2019

THE BRIDAL GUIDE

www.havredailynews.com

How to file for a marriage in Montana

By Tim Leeds, Havre Daily News

One part of the often-lengthy planning in holding a wedding has fairly simple requirements in Montana: to receive a marriage license, people need to fill out an application with a clerk of District Court in the state, swear the information is true, pay the $53 fee and either have a blood test completed or sign a waiver of that requirement, then get married within six months. Same-sex marriages have been legal in the state of Montana since 2014. The requirements are still all the same. On the state application, everything is gender neutral and now refers to applicants as spouse 1 and spouse 2. While people in Montana can have a common-law marriage, going through the official steps can save some trouble later on. Common-law marriages result from actions of a couple — typically living together as husband and wife while of legal age and not being legally married to someone else — holding themselves forth as a married couple and having an agreement to be married, says a brochure by Montana Legal Services Association. But common-law marriages

have been known to cause troubles with applying for or receiving insurance or Social Security benefits and other issues because of a lack of a license to prove a marriage exists. In Montana, people also can be married without a ceremony by filing a written declaration of marriage with a clerk of court. Even that could cause problems depending on whether it would be recognized under rules in other states, including by insurance companies. The requirements in Montana to apply for a marriage license are fairly simple and straightforward. Residents of the state don’t even have to apply for marriage in the county where the ceremony will be performed. A license issued in Hill County, for example, can be used in any Montana county. If one person is a nonresident, that person’s section of the application may be completed before an official authorized to accept such applications in the county and state where the party resides, the law states. The application is fairly simple, requiring information including the names of the parties, their resi-

dence and address, names of the parents and their birthplaces, race, education and information about any previous marriage and its termination. The participants are required to swear under oath that the information provided is true, and state law specifies that the parties must pay the filing fee. The law requires that the parties applying provide satisfactory proof that they will be at least 18 years old when the license is issued, or will be 16 and have judicial approval of the marriage, generally with the consent of the parties’ parents. The parties must also be able to provide proof that their marriage is not prohibited under state law, such as a marriage between first cousins or an uncle and a niece. Montana law does specify that any female applicant applying for a marriage license must submit a blood test confirming immunity to rubella, but also allows the parties of the marriage to request a waiver of the requirement after reading information about the need to ensure rubella immunity to protect any children conceived. Infection of a woman with the rubella virus

during early pregnancy can lead to complications with the pregnancy or a variety of congenital defects, the waiver reads. The waivers are available at the time of application. The marriage must take place within 180 days of the application being completed, though there is no waiting period before the ceremony can take place. Once the marriage is completed and the license issued, it is kept on record both in the county where it was filed and on the state level. Another issue people might need to remember is taken care of after the marriage: making sure any

name changes are on record. If a name is changed due to marriage — such as the woman taking the family name of the husband — it is important that the change is recorded by any agencies or entities that need to know. That would include the Social Security Administration, for recording income and issuing benefits; insurance companies; bank and other financial accounts including mortgages, and making sure names — and addresses — are correct on driver’s licenses, passports and other identification, as well as any other documents or entities that require a name to be on file.


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February 2019

THE BRIDAL GUIDE

www.havredailynews.com

Married on a shoestring budget Derek Hann dshann@havredailynews.com The most important thing about getting married is understanding your significant other’s idea of the wedding. Some people want to get married in the courthouse, some want to have a simple nonreligious wedding, some want to have the classic church and reception wedding and the list goes on. One isn’t necessarily better than the other, it just depends on what the bride and groom want for their special day. And that’s just it, what the bride and groom want, not what the parents want, necessarily, or what is expected. If you are considering tying the knot you should do it the way that you imagined it. My wife, Jessica, and I decided early on we wanted to have a small, simple wedding. We had just bought a house and had our first kid,

so the simpler the better. Getting engaged: The first step I proposed to Jessica a few months after we first started dating. We were in college and I had very, very little money. So I decided to stop at a gas station on my way back from Missoula, put a quarter into one of those toy machines and get, literally, a toy ring. Jessica thought it was great and I promised her that when we were able to afford a more expensive ring I would jump at the chance. Some girls might not like that kind of thing, but I knew my partner would find it great. Before anyone can really start planning a wedding, they should focus on the engagement, and just like the wedding itself, it all depends on the couple. When we were able to afford a “proper”

■ See Shoestring Page 4

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February 2019

THE BRIDAL GUIDE

www.havredailynews.com

Where to go for your wedding clothes

Pam Burke community@havredailynews.com For the bride and groom who want to keep things local — even in that crucial element of the attire for themselves and their wedding party — two Havre stores offer a variety of choices that can fit any budget. Montana Country Boutique, which recently moved to its new, larger, location at 205 Third Ave., carries formal and semi-formal dresses for bridesmaids and the women of the family, owner Tera Verploegen said, adding that the store is a source for wedding gowns, as well. “We have bridesmaid dresses and a couple flower girl dresses,” Verploegen said, “but we also do special order … and we can special order gowns, as well.” The bridal gowns, she added, can be ordered from a variety of sources her store has access to. Some, she said, can ship dresses in a week, but other suppliers can take as much as six months to a year. The sooner a bride comes in to find a dress, the more choices she’ll have, Verploegen said. “We’ve carried a few (wedding) dresses on-hand before, but we’re just a small enough community that we don’t carry a big variety,” she said. “If girls know what they’re looking for, they can always come in

and we can look at what we can get, and then we size them and order them.” If bridesmaid dresses need to be ordered, she said, most of her wholesale sources can ship with a three-month lead time, but a few require up to six months. The formal dresses she keeps on hand are priced from about $65 to $150, she said. “We try and keep it as affordable as possible,” she said. “There is more expensive ones than that but the companies we work with, we try to keep it less expensive.” She said she also can help by coming in after hours or on weekends to fit the bride’s schedule and providing referrals to experienced seamstresses. Verploegen added that people can contact her at the store or on Facebook. For the men Cavalier’s for Men & Women owner Joe Ross said he carries some semi-formal clothing in the store and has an wide range of tuxedo rentals for any formal occasion. “We prefer for weddings to work a month in advance because styles do rent out if they’re a popular style,” Ross said, adding that, no matter the style, they have a twoweek minimum order time because the tuxes have to be shipped from California and arrive before the wedding or other

event. Ross said that his tuxedo service center serves the whole western states region from Montana to Arizona and west to the coastal states. “The nice thing is there’s tuxedos that will pretty much fit any budget,” he added, “so it doesn’t have to be super expensive. It’s kind of like buying a car, the more you add to it or the more fashionable it is, the more expensive it is.” Prices he said generally run about $100 to $200 depending on style and added features, including shoes. The suits arrive at the store on the Monday or Tuesday before the wedding, and they’ll do final measurements and fitting, Ross said, then the suits are due back the day after the wedding. “It’s a pretty easy process,” he said, even if some of the wedding party lives out of town. “A lot of wedding parties, if they don’t have everybody in town here,” he said, “if they can go get measured somewhere else at a tuxedo shop and they send us those measurements, we can put the order together and make sure it all works.” People also can shop for tuxedos on the store’s website http://www.cavaliersclothing.com where they’ll find the entire catalog of rental wear online, he said, including

sizes from 3T for toddlers up to 66 men. This is especially helpful for people living in the more remote parts of the area, or who are involved in the wedding from out of town He said the store has had weddings from as far away as Glasgow, and the tuxedos can be drop-shipped to these distant location, then the customers just have to returnship the suits the day after the wedding. Though Cavalier’s carries women’s wear, the store doesn’t carry any formal or semiformal dresses suitable for wedding attire, preferring, he said, to let Verploegen take care of that. Cavalier’s regularly sends a book with swatches to Montana Country Boutique, he added, to help match the tuxedos to the dresses. Styles Verploegen said that the brides coming into her store have been looking for simpler dresses than have been in style in past years, with “a lot of country lace.” Ross said tux styles have gone to a slimmer look. It’s the fabrics that set today’s suits apart from past styles, he added, with stretch fabrics to improve comfort in movement and Cool Max fabrics to help keep the men cooler in the summer and fall weddings.

Ring: Custom rings are easier when working with local jewelers ■ Continued from page 9 “The cut makes a difference because if the stone has a real good cut the light will enter and bounce out and leave the top of the stone and look more brilliant,” she added. “On more shallow cuts or deeper cuts, the stone loses some of the light to the bottom of the stone.” The process of light entering the diamond and bouncing back out is called scintillation,

Courtesy photo Jessica Hann and Derek Hann read their vows in front of Deacan Tim Maroney in St. Jude Thaddeus church during their wedding ceremony, Oct. 27.

Leibel said. She said the halo setting has been a popular style recently. The halo setting is where the diamond is surrounded by other small diamonds and tends to make the center stone look bigger, she added. Liebel said Heirloom does have an exchange if the customer isn’t completely satisfied with their ring and will work with them

as much as they can. One of the benefits of shopping local is that customers can actually see and handle the type of ring they are considering, Leibel said. She added that she thinks they have a better selection of rings than most online retailers. “We tend to take a little bit more time with our clients,” Donoven said. “I like to make

sure my clients are educated in the process of purchasing diamonds… so they actually understand what they’re purchasing.” Donoven said likes the romance and the excitement and the story about how the couple met each other “is the most rewarding part about what we do.” “Our clients do become like family to us,” she added.


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February 2019

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