Thought for Food: Challenges & Choices Cathy Wilder I recently had a rather humbling and surprising experience. I had gone to my doctor for an annual check up. It had been many years since I had some basic blood work done, and I decided that it was time for new baseline readings. I believed that it was a simple task, something I was initiating for my well-being. To my surprise, it took me three months to do the blood tests. I procrastinated because one of the requirements for the test was a tenhour fasting period. Initially, it didn't seem like a big deal. What I discovered is my strong resistance to go without food after 9:00 pm. The evening I did follow through, I consciously planned my way from 8:30 pm to the next morning meal...convincing myself that I could do this! I laugh now, although at the time it was very focused work! In seeing my way through this task, I now understand better what was going on. The morning I woke after getting through my imposed starvation period, I was tingling and vibrating, particularly in my well-laden buttocks and thighs! Of course with the tingling and vibration, also came belly grumbling and feelings of anxiety.
I recognize the sensations of the anxiety as freed up, available energy. Over the last ten years I have made an increasing friend of these sensations ... obviously with varying degrees of success. As I recognized this indicator of life energy, I had a momentary rush of embarrassment, recognizing how regularly I invite others to step in this direction that I was so clearly avoiding. Since that morning, I have deeper appreciation of the choices, commitments and acts of faith others and I are making when choosing more life over familiar, comforting and addictive patterns or behaviours. Food, particularly anything sweet or with cheese, has wonderful properties of dulling pain and quelling anxiety for mc ... at least in the short term. The longer term, accumulative consequences have not been ones I like. I tend to move into a frame of body and mind, where I experience being heavy, thick, lethargic, ugly, depressed and very negative. This recent experience seems to be another reminder and wake up call for me to further increase my willingness and capacity to embrace my vibrancy for living AND to be gentle and compassionate with myself in the process. Worth Your Weight, the course I have initiated with my friends Leslie Whyte and Dianne Anderson, is a reflection of years
embark on an inward journey through engagement with others discover the principles and practice of effective communication that apply to us all open to the creative unfolding of self and other
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of struggle with food, weight and energy issues. In my family these issues run deep. They are related to patterns of protection, caretaking and eating as a substitute for direct communication. Food and extra weight in my family patterns are also related to experiencing smaller life energy and impeding steps into uncertainty. As I entered my forties, it was beginning to look like I was falling into the trap of changing hormones, a slowing metabolism and the climb to "fat and forty". Accepting life changes is one thing. Reacting by getting frustrated, freezing or holding, collapsing into resignation or responding by engaging is all very different. Each has had its own, varied energetic outcomes for me. Each has had significant impact on my weight, as well as my mental and physical well-being. In reflection, I am able to track and connect my old health pattern regarding PMS, systemic candida and depression. Now, I am seeing more clearly than ever before, my continuous choice between making decisions and taking steps (or mouthfuls!!) away from or into living more fully. Over the last year, I am becmning fitter in many ways. I am experiencing much greater ease. My patl1 is one of increasingly stepping towards full living, with joyful compassion. I am lighter and glad of heart!
Dyna/H/& 0/a/oยงue with
Carole Fast
November 7 - 10, 2002
$505